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Trick or Treating: Massacre Edition

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It was the spookiest night of the year, and all the kiddies were out trick-or-treating. Shuuzenji sat in her office, filing away paperwork on the various injuries that ailed the students of UA. She slowly drifted off in her chair, until a loud tapping on the window shook her awake.

 

Dear.

 

Shuuzenji turned around, and found a colossal hand outside her office window. Getting up from her chair, she opened up the window and climbed outside, sitting down in the palm of the hand.

 

“Why did it take you so long to arrive, Gigantomachia?”

 

Shuuzenji looked up at her lover. He was a colossus, standing at the height of a mountain. It was a wonder nobody had seen him enter UA grounds. He was shirtless except for a large, black cloak billowing around him, his hair and teeth were both jagged and spiky, and a giant radio hung from his neck.

 

Gigantomachia placed her in the front of his hair, and began walking off, away from the UA grounds. “Walked into a helicopter” he grunted back to her.

 

“Well we should get started on trick-or-treating then!” She chipped, taking off her white cloak to reveal her Halloween costume.

 

She had dressed up as a sexy bat. She was wearing a tight black bikini, that did well to make her wrinkly rolls of fat be extremely apparent. She had black leather shoes on (She would have gone for high heels, but she didn’t want to poke into Gigantomachia too much), and a small pair of bat wings on her back. The total effect made her look like a somewhat overweight crack-addicted imp.

 

Bending down, Gigantomachia shrank to a measly 10 feet tall. Walking down the street of some random neighbourhood, the pair began their trick-or-treating session.

 

They had gone through 15 houses so far, collecting a variety of sweets and lollies. The only slight hitch was the house which gave out prawn candy canes, which were a combination of weird, disgusting, the wrong holiday and something which gave Shuuzenji allergic reactions, but Shuuzenji hadn’t stopped the woman who gave them out before she had handed over the candy to Gigantomachia and slammed the door on them.

 

But as they knocked on the next door, they encountered their first hitch. This was apparently the home of Bakugo Katsuki from Class 1A. He loudly yelled at the pair to “GET FUCKED” and tried to slam the door on them, but they had other plans for if this might happen.

 

Loudly yelling “TRICK!”, Shuuzenji and Gigantomachia unsheathed AR-15s from Gigantomachia’s cloak, aiming them on Bakugo. Before he could react, a loud chorus of gunfire rained down on him, littering his body with holes. For good measure, Gigantomachia stepped over the teenage boy’s corpse and walked into the living room, finishing off Bakugo’s parents too. Should raise a better child next time, Shuuzenji thought to herself.

 

Of course, the loud gunfire and public gunning down of a child inevitably brought attention to them. Hurrying off, Gigantomachia began shuffling through their loot so far.

 

“Could you throw out those prawn candy canes dear? They affect my allergies.”

 

Gigantomachia nodded at Shuuzenji and promptly lobbed the candy canes off into the distance. Ignoring them, they had obtained caramels, chocolate bars, jelly cups, mochi, a pack of condoms, Swedish fish, gummy bears, marshmallows and a small rock.

 

A loud siren alerted them to the presence of a nearby police car. Of course, this sound gave away its position, and Gigantomachia burst in size and promptly smashed the car which was a street over. Several heroes began arriving on scene, but Gigantomachia crushed them into the nearest flat surface as soon as they entered his range. Along the way, they made sure to pick up candy that the screaming fleeing trick-or-treaters had dropped in their attempts to escape. Checking her basket, Shuuzenji had already increased her loot twenty-fold.

 

As they continued running, they eventually reached the commercial district of the city.  Large billboards on the sides of the building displayed news like “HAWKS SCANDAL”, “UA’S NEW AND BRIGHTEST SECOND YEARS” and “BREAKING: FLYING PRAWN CANDY CANES IMPALE ORPHANS ON HALLOWEEN THEATRE TRIP IN AMERICA” in big neon letters while some nameless news reporter narrated the story. Thinking fast, Gigantomachia plucked the largest of these boards off the buildings, placing it on the ground and running ahead.

 

The commercial district around here was very hilly, which Shuuzenji and Gigantomachia took advantaged of as they stood on the board and began sledding down the hill, mowing down civilians and heroes alike as they made their great escape. Gigantomachia was so large at this point that him jumping on the billboard caused a tremor, making people fall over and streetlights to break and fall to the ground.

 

“HALT RIGHT THERE!” A commanding, masculine voice yelled at them as large roots impaled the board to the concrete roadways before. Kamui Woods and Mount Lady came running forward to stop them.

 

Of course, the threat of the heroes was trivial. Gigantomachia grew to a size twenty times Mount Lady and crushed her beneath her foot. Shuuzenji, taking advantaged of kamui’s wood being part of his body, kissed his wood.

 

Phrasing, she thought to herself. But it had worked, and Kamui fell to the ground, unmoving. Shuuzenji’s power took the energy out of her target, so a long enough kiss was able to knock anybody dead. She was the assassin of the pair, sneaking around while Gigantomachia distracted the enemies with his huge body and crashing power.

 

Gigantomachia held out a hand to her, and she stepped up to it. They were near their target at this point anyways, so staying hidden wasn’t really an issue. Gigantomachia then bent down a second time to pick up the All Mighty Candy Store, the largest source of sugary goods in the city. Gigantomachia tied his cape into a cloth basket, then removed one of the store’s walls and poured the contents of the shop into the tied cape. Shuuzenji watched several people fall out of the store as well as the candy. Whatever, she thought. We’ll remove them later.

 

“STOP CRIMINAL SCUM!” Yelled out a new polyphony of voices.

 

Shuuzenji turned to stare at the source of the noise, it starting to get on her nerves. Four more UA students stood there, all from 1A. She thought she remembered them. Mineta, Mina, Kaminari… and Sero, was it? Gigantomachia slammed his fist down, crushing Mina and Kaminari immediately. Shuuzenji ran through the chaos, and took at Sero too. She bared down on Mineta, but he reacted and throw one of his sticky balls at her, trapping her against the ground.

 

“Why, Recovery Girl? Don’t you save people?” Mineta was shaking, with tears in his eyes. He didn’t understand why Shuuzenji was doing this.

 

“Never underestimate how far an old lady will go to obtain candy, young child.” Shuuzenji retorted, attempting to launch her lips at him. He dodged, but was crushed under the feet of Gigantomachia who didn’t even notice him, too busy fighting off Ryukyu and Edgeshot who had both arrived on scene, standing on the rooftops of nearby buildings that hadn’t been levelled by Gigantomachia.

 

Gigantomachia picked up Ryukyu and ripped her body in two, leaving only Edgeshot. He began binding Gigantomachia in his body. Recovery Girl shot out her lips once again, striking Edgeshot. She exhausted him of his energy and he fell loose, ribbons of his body littering the ground.

 

Shuuzenji let herself be scooped up and taken away by Gigantomachia. He walked out of the city with her, and they didn’t stop until they were far into the mountains. He then placed down their loot.

 

Making sure to remove any people from inside the candy store who had been left in the pile, they lobbed the scared civilians far out into the forest. Shuuzenji noticed two of these civilians were that Mirio boy and that young girl, Eri. Bad luck, she though, as she watched their terrified figures get lobbed far into the forest, at the mercy of gravity itself.

 

“So, this is it.” Gigantomachia grunted, staring at the pile.

 

It was an impressive haul, most likely containing tens of thousands of pieces of candy. Gigantomachia shrunk to a measly 7 feet, and picked up Recovery Girl, planting a soft kiss on her lips and tightly embracing her wizened old body.

 

“Now now, dear, you’ll break me if you do that too much…” She chortled, wriggling free of his grip. She stared at the hill-sized candy pile, then stared back at her lover, adoration in her eyes.

 

“Now, dear, shall we dig in?”