Alexandria was about to get real spooky. An irritated Judith, typically comatose RJ, confused Gracie, and rather relieved seeming baby Coco were left with Barbara the ginger babysitter for the night.
Most of the town gathered in Michonne’s house. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she went over the rules of the Halloween party, already questioning her life’s decisions. “Okay – no sex, no mental breakdowns, no ‘accidental’ deaths. Got it?”
“Yes, Michonne,” everyone intoned.
“Good. Have fun, I guess,” she replied as she went upstairs, leaving her people to their own devices.
Everyone just looked at each other for several long moments, not sure what to do, until the door creaked open, heralding the presence of an unfashionably late arrival. It was Carol, dressed as a witch, which meant she wasn’t wearing any special costume at all. Dante, similarly, was dressed as a gay doctor.
“Hope I didn’t miss anything,” Carol giggled as she immediately started spiking the punch. Everyone noticed.
With that out of the way, Dante decided to help himself to some of the other as-of-yet untainted spooky refreshments. He made it a point to fellate a caramel apple while staring right at Siddiq, who was busy screaming into the apple bobbing bin. This party was off to a good start.
Father Gabriel watched Siddiq from afar, wishing he had hair like that, before his blind eye started throbbing and pulsating like a giant zit. Soon after, it burst out of his skull and rolled across the floor like some kind of ultra-realistic Halloween decoration, causing the priest to fall over dead. No one cared, especially Rosita. Someone shoved Gabriel’s body into a closet before he reanimated.
The eye grew fangs and snapped at the ankles of guests that got in its way. Daryl chased it around for a little bit before managing to squish it like a bug.
Dante and Siddiq were now kissing passionately next to the apple bobbing bin. “I want you to take me, right here,” Dante told his fellow doctor much louder than what was necessary.
Siddiq blinked. “I don’t have anything, and there are people here–”
“LUBE IS FOR LOSERS!” Dante shouted as he punched a hole into the floor.
Nearby, for no apparent reason, Carol was making it clap with her hands braced on a table of pumpkins. Her vigorous movements jostling the table made one of the gourds fly up into the air and come crashing down hard right next to Dante and Siddiq. It cracked open like Margo’s head, exposing its squishy insides.
Siddiq looked at the smashed pumpkin and back at Dante, having a major lightbulb moment. The world was a vampire, sent to drain, just like his (PTS)D.
Rosita, fixing her eyebrows in a mirror a few feet away, caught a glimpse of the events transpiring behind her in the reflective surface. “Oh, that’s just foul,” she muttered before she went back to filling in her brows.
The stench of pumpkin guts was overwhelming, as was Daryl’s body odor. He yanked his meat, thinking of Connie.
All of Carol’s twerking really loosened up her bowels. Rosita, still using her eyebrow pencil, noticed Carol’s reflection in the mirror making an expression like Coco filling her diaper, which turned to one of great relief as the older woman proceeded to rip a loud wet one. The guests all coughed and gagged.
“Too foul,” Rosita sighed as made for the door, finally having had enough. She kissed Siddiq’s forehead on her way out to show that she wasn’t mad at him for this display of Halloween depravity, just a little disappointed.
Siddiq sobbed as he neared climax, forcing his gourd seed-covered gourd deeper, “Wish I didn’t have to cut off those heads.” He continued crying as he finished inside of Dante (most likely impregnating him), because Alpha was so ugly. Dante loudly ejaculated a smiley face right on Michonne’s nice carpet.
A little ways away, Aaron furiously humped his mace-arm.
Michonne ran downstairs after hearing the sounds of buttsex, masturbating, farting, crying, and Gabriel’s walker growling and clawing at the door from inside of the closet.
“You fuckers never listen to me,” she said as she walked out the door and left for good.