Dean is exhausted on every level and he can’t wait to fall into his bed tonight and maybe get more than five hours of sleep. He knows his body could use it and maybe even his mind would rest.
“Are we ready?” Dean wants to know and Sam who kneels on the ground besides him, nods. Dean rubs over his forehead, not surprised when his hand comes back down bloody. Ugh. Ghosts are supposed to be easy hunts.
“Something is wrong.”
Dean turns back to Castiel. The angels stands still in the doorway, angel blade nearly vibrating in his hand and Dean frowns at him, before he takes back out his EMF meter and looks down at it.
It shows nothing.
“Nothing against your angel powers, but nope. Ghosts are gone.” Dean says loudly and holds the EMF Meter up for Castiel to see. The angel tilts his head at the self-made EMF meter out of a walkman and Dean grins proudly at him.
“Are you sensing something different?” Sam asks, finally getting up again and checking himself for injuries. Dean checks Sam himself, since he saw how the ghost had smashed his brother through the room.
“Magic.” Castiel answers shortly and Dean shudders. No. He wasn’t ready for some witches or anything like that. He wanted just a short ghost trip and then this incredible warm bed that waits in the motel room for him. It even can do those vibrating motions and Dean needs that now.
“Bad magic?” Sam asks, just to be sure and Castiel shrugs. Dean sighs, it’s never a good sign when even the angel among them can’t really describe the magic. It could just be something very harmless, but Dean knows it never is.
“Okay fine. Come on show yourself, I don’t have all night.” Dean says louder, so the freaking witch would finally crawling out of her hiding place. Dean checks his pockets for some witch killing bullets, relieved when he remembers he indeed packed them this morning.
“Dean.” Sam hisses, but Dean rolls his eyes. He does this job for over twenty years now, he knows what he's doing. Mostly at least.
Castiel strikes through the room and touches the ugly green wall in front of them. Dean pushes Sam behind him, just in case and then suppresses the urge to do the same with Castiel. He is an angel, he doesn’t need Dean’s protection.
“Be careful.” Dean says anyway and he is sure Sam is rolling his eyes at him, but Dean can’t help it. While he tried to hate Castiel in the beginning, he grew fond of him over the years. Sure Sam is his brother, but Castiel is his best friend.
“Something is coming.” Castiel says and takes a step back. Just as his shoulder touches Dean’s, the wall starts to glow in a very bright light. Dean has to look away, maybe it’s an angel and he doesn’t particularly want to lose his eyes.
“We need to get out of here!” Sam says from somewhere behind Dean, but he can’t will himself to follow his brother. He wouldn’t leave Castiel alone here, the last time he had done that, the idiot got himself killed.
“Wait.” Castiel says and Sam stops at the doorway. The bright light vanishes and Dean thinks for a second, that they had gotten lucky and it was just a… mishap in the universe, or something.
Then a door appears.
“What the hell?” Dean asks, because the door looks as if it was always there. Not shiny or anything, just as old as the whole house. There is even some dust on the freaking door handle. Dean wants to use his sleeve and clean it, when the door handles moves.
“Guys…” Sam says quietly behind them, but this time nobody is moving. They all watch the door handle rattle again, it makes a nasty sound and then the door clicks open. Dean holds up his favorite gun and gets the demon knife out of his pocket for good measure.
Better safe than sorry, right?
Sam’s gun behind clicks as well and Castiel holds the hand that is occupied with the angel blade up, ready to use the rest of his angel powers against - whatever would step through this door. Dean’s body betrays him and he gets goosebumps all over.
Why does he have such a bad feeling about this?
“Expose yourself.” Castiel says, his voice even deeper than normally. Dean shudders again and then concentrates back on the opening door. He isn’t sure who actually squeaks when he sees what comes through the door. But he thinks, it was him.
“Dean?” Castiel sounds surprised himself and Dean looks to him, even though he knows that Castiel isn’t talking to him.
“Shapeshifter.” Sam says loudly and Dean shudders. He always hated to meet those things and not only because they leave their disgusting skin everywhere. It’s just so strange to see his face, his own grin directed at him.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The Other-Dean says and he winks at Dean, who is already holding up his gun.
“And why would listen to you?” Dean asks and the Other-Dean rolls his eyes, before he pockets his own gun. Dean hadn’t even realized that it looks similar to the one, he is still holding up. Can they fake weapons now as well? Oh man that would suck.
“Let’s say if you actually want to have a future, maybe you shouldn’t kill it.” Other-Dean says and Dean frowns at those words. Is that just another trick of those nasty bitches or what is going on?
“What?” Sam asks, but Dean can see that he is already putting his gun away. Even Castiel seems more relaxed and Dean can’t see the angel blade anymore. Why are they both so trusting? One day that would cost them both their lives. Again.
“What year is it?” Other-Dean asks and he steps out of the door. Dean can see that there is only darkness behind him. As soon as the Other-Dean touches the ground, the door vanishes with a crackling sounds.
“Do you really think we believe this bullshit?” Dean growls and this time he actually pushes Castiel out of his way. The angel is so surprised he actually falls on his butt, while Dean points his gun at the shapeshifter again. Other-Dean doesn’t seem very impressed, he just raises an eyebrow and there is the smirk again.
“Ah I see. Still somewhere in the years of Denial.” Other-Dean says and just as Dean wants to ask, what the fuck he means, Other-Dean doesn’t give him the attention anymore. Instead he is looking at Castiel.
“Cas.” Other-Dean’s voice sounds a bit funny and to Dean’s horror he thinks his clone is actually tearing up. Dean frowns, he looks weird when he cries like this, but then he shakes his head.
“Leave him alone.” Dean growls, but Other-Dean is ignoring him now, he seems to just have eyes for Castiel. Dean feels a bit superfluous and Sam is still not saying anything. Dean just glances at his brother, but Sam seems frozen.
“Cas?” Other-Dean says again in that soft way and this time he holds out his hand for Castiel, who is still sitting on the ground. Castiel seems to think about it for a moment or maybe he tries to read that things’ soul, but then he takes Other-Dean’s hand.
“Oh god I missed you so much.” Other-Dean says and then he actually holds up his arms for Castiel to hug him. Dean’s mouth falls to the ground, when Castiel does just that. Other-Dean practically nuzzles against him, eyes closed and he looks so happy.
“Uhm... Cas?” Sam whispers and Dean is glad that at least his brother is still able to speak, because he is still so shocked, he might faint. Sam clasps a hand on his shoulder, but Dean keeps staring.
“It’s really Dean.” Castiel says for them, but he doesn’t stop hugging Other-Dean tightly. Even though Other-Dean is clearly also a bit taller than Castiel, you can’t see it during the hug. No. Castiel is the one who carefully strokes over Dean’s back and just… holds him.
Dean can’t even swallow.
“What do you mean?” Sam asks again and he still sounds so worried. Castiel finally takes a tiny step back, still touching Other-Dean somehow, but he seems so calm now. They are both smiling at each other.
“He said the truth, that is Dean, just not from our time.” Castiel explains slowly. He holds out his hand and the Other-Dean is taking it immediately. Dean blinks a few times, when he sees a bright smile on Castiel’s face.
“How… do you know?” Sam seems to need more than that and Dean feels himself at least nodding. Why the fuck is Castiel holding his hand? Dean never initiated any touch between them, unless he had just lost Castiel and finally gotten him back.
This though looks very intimate and… as if they had done it before.
“It’s his soul. It’s still so bright and colorful, like they day I found it in hell. Nothing will ever amaze me as much as the light in you.” Castiel says and at the last sentence he looks directly into Other-Dean’s eyes.
Dean sputters, because first of all, he hates it when Castiel talks about his soul like that. Dean knows exactly what he is and that is anything but bright and colorful. No, he was in hell with good reason and he knows he will end up there again.
But also, because something aches in his chest and Dean pushes the feeling away.
“Careful Cas or I will have to eat you up.” Other-Dean says in the voice Dean normally uses to flirt with some girl at a bar and Dean’s eyebrows shot up because he realizes what he had just thought. Did his future-self hit his head somewhere?
“Okay. That’s it. I think we should leave.” Sam says and he grabs his bag with the last of their weapons. Dean can hear some police sirens and groans. Yeah maybe they should really leave, he doesn’t want to be arrested again. And certainly not with his new Twin in tow.
“He needs to come with us.” Castiel says and before Dean or Sam can answer to that, the angel had already zapped himself and Other-Dean out of the room. Dean growls, those two better wait at the car for them.
“This is so weird.” Dean mumbles, while he at least goes back to the wall and knocks on it. The door is clearly gone and it doesn’t sound like there is a room hidden behind the wall. As the sirens turn louder, Sam grabs his arms.
“I know you don’t like it and believe me I feel very weird about this as well, but we need to go. We find a way to zap him back.” Sam says, while is already walking down the stairs. Dean follows him with a sigh.
Can he, maybe, have a tiny break? Just once?
They are out of the house in a minute and walk down the small path towards Baby. Dean had parked her on purpose away from the haunted house, because the last time Sam had fallen out of the window directly out of the hood.
Dean remembers all the tears. (Mostly his, because Baby looked so damaged afterwards.)
“I really hate this.” Dean grumbles and he can now make out two familiar figures next to his baby. He can’t help it and his gaze wanders down his ‘own body’. Other-Dean seems to be still in shape, but Dean frowns at the bowed legs. His aren’t so bad right?
“Believe me, they are this bowed.” Sam snickers and Dean shoves his brother away, sometimes he hates it that Sam knows him so well. Dean can see that Other-Dean is still touching Castiel. This time he has his hand only on the angel’s shoulder but Dean hates it anyway.
It bugs him even more that they both are whispering and Castiel is still smiling so brightly. Dean doesn’t think that he ever made Castiel smile like this and… he shakes his head.
“Ready to leave?” Dean grumbles and opens his door. Sam is already sitting down on the passenger seat, while Castiel opens the backdoor behind Sam. Dean tries not to growl, when he sees that Other-Dean sits down directly next to Castiel even though there is a lot of free space he could use.
“I’m all set. How about you, Cas?” Other-Dean says and Dean wants to smack him. His asshole version grins at him, when Dean looks into the rearview mirror and Dean grabs the steering wheel a bit tighter than he has to.
“I’m good.” Castiel just answers and Dean wants to roll his eyes, because apparently Castiel doesn’t even realize, that Other-Dean is flirting with him. No surprises there.
“So… what are we going to do?” Sam asks, when everyone in the car is silent. Dean is still watching how Other-Dean tries to cuddle against the angel and he thinks that maybe he should see if Other-Dean has the same kinks and tie him to the backseat.
“Bring me home of course. No offence, but I don’t wanna stay here.” Other-Dean says and he sounds really angry. Dean huffs, as if the future would be a better thing. Dean can already imagine that dark world. No thank you.
“Good we don’t want you here either.” Dean answers and this time he is the one to smirk at his doppelganger, but as soon as he sees how disappointed Castiel looks, he stops and looks back to the road.
“I’m sure we will figure out a way.” Castiel says and then he looks out of the window, his eyes glassy. Dean knows that he is already communicating with the other angels for a solution. Other-Dean leans his head against Castiel’s shoulder and winks.
Dean drives a bit faster.
“So this is our bunker.” Dean says, when he opens the heavy door. It makes a horrible noise and Dean sighs, he should really oil that again, but he always forgets about it. Sam steps through the door and walks already down the stairs.
“I know dumbass. I used to live here, too.” Other-Dean says and he pushes Dean aside, so he can walk down the stairs as well. Castiel frowns at that and follows him, only Dean stands like in idiot still at the door, which screeches again, when it falls close.
“Used to?” Castiel asks and he seems confused by that, at least he does his ador… eh head tilt again. Dean huffs and follows the other three towards the war room. It bugs him when he sees that Castiel sits down next to his future self and not at his side, like he used to.
“Oh angel, of course. I wanted to give you a better home, maybe even impress you a bit.” Other-Dean says and there is that ugly smirk on his face again. Dean wants to explode, instead he takes a deep breath.
“So what you got yourself a cute little house?” Dean asks and Sam kicks him under the table. Dean glares at his brother as well, but Other-Dean nods.
“Yeah actually. I mean, would you want to raise kids here?” Other-Dean asks back and Dean thinks he is having a heart attack. Kids? What the fuck is the guy talking about? Maybe he wasn’t from the future, he was from another universe.
“Kids?” Even Sam asks and Other-Dean focuses on him. As soon as he really looks at Sam, his whole face softens and he smiles a bit shyly at his younger brother. Dean’s brother. Their brother, whatever.
“Sorry I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to spoiler without changing the future.” Other-Dean admits and Dean raises his eyebrows. He hadn’t even thought about that, but Other-Dean is right. What if they fuck this up?
The ending of the world would be his fault again.
“I don’t think it will have long lasting consequences, as long nobody from us gets killed or we change history. Just by telling us from your life, it shouldn’t change anything, except someone of us, decides to want a different life.” Castiel explains and at the last sentence he looks directly at Dean, who swallows.
“Okay well, then yeah. I don’t have kids, if that’s what you mean. I just thought about it.” Other-Dean says and there is such a soft smile on his face, that even Dean has to look away. Sometimes he… has that thought, too.
“I’m glad you have dreams like that.” Castiel says happily and Dean’s heart aches for something that he is not ready to admit yet. Other-Dean returns a smile on his own and before Dean knows what is happening, he is taking Castiel’s hand in his.
“I know they will become real some time.” Other-Dean whispers and he leans even closer. Dean coughs loudly, because he has a bad feeling about what is happening there directly in front of his eyes.
“Hopefully.” Castiel answers anyway and then his eyes look back to Dean, who is for sure blushing under his gaze. Dean still holds his gaze, like he always does, trying not to get too lost in the blue eyes.
“Is… our future peaceful?” Sam asks and Dean finally wakes up out of his thoughts. Other-Dean doesn’t seem very surprised at that question, but there is a new smile on his face, it calms Dean down the moment he sees it.
“You could say that. I don’t wanna say too much in case you do fuck it up when I tell you, so just trust your guts. It’s not gone completely, but me Sammy and my… ehm Cas, we did some good work. We have a hunt every few weeks.” Other-Dean explains and Dean wishes he could switch places with him.
Sure he likes a good hunt, he knows that he was born for this, but that doesn’t mean he wants to live in this danger forever. He wants a good life for Sammy and Cas. Maybe even himself.
“Just every few weeks?” Sam asks and he sounds so hopeful, that Dean puts a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Other-Dean nods.
“Yeah sure some ghosts are still out there. Sometimes a lone werewolf or something, nothing too big at least.” Other-Dean continues and Dean feels so relieved. His future is alive, it sits here and… tells him everything will be alright.
“So how come you ended up here?” Sam asks, when everyone is silent again. Dean tries to ignore that Other-Dean’s hand is on Castiel’s thigh. Just resting there, but someone he can’t help but look at that.
“Yeah not sure. Man I remember in my past that I saw this. Kinda weird, right? Anyway in my actual time it was just one of those hunts. Sadly this damn witch got me. Or at least I think that is what happened.” Other-Dean says slowly and Dean frowns. So Other-Dean knows exactly what Dean is thinking the whole time. Fun.
“Maybe we can find a spell to reverse it?” Sam suggests and before anyone can say anything, he is already out of his chair and looks for some book. Dean would never get tired of that excitement that Sam gets when he is allowed to research.
Oi, they would need to find a new hobby for him, once things calm down. Dean can’t wait.
“I already contacted heaven, they will look into this as well.” Castiel says and Other-Dean squeezes his thigh. Dean is actually pretty proud, that he doesn’t growl or anything, but it annoys him to no end.
He isn’t gay. Why would his future be?
“You think we can talk alone?” Dean hears himself asking and his doppelganger doesn’t even look surprised at that. Instead he nods and while Castiel looks worried, he gets up himself. Other-Dean looks happily up at Castiel and winks.
Dean’s eyes almost fall out of his head, when Castiel strokes through Other-Dean’s hair, before he walks out of the wall room. They are finally alone and Dean thinks how bad it would be to kill his future self.
Probably very bad.
“Jealous, huh?” Other-Dean grins and he even leans across the table. Dean thinks, that he should at least punch himself. That couldn’t end up changing history, right?
“I’m not - what the hell.” Dean stutters out and he hates himself even more for that. He never reacted that badly at such a harmless question before, but this guy makes him nervous. He seems to know too much. Obviously.
“You know that I’m you, right? No need to blush with shame.” Other-Dean says and he seems very happy with himself. Dean is still a bit shocked, so he doesn’t say anything when Other-Dean leans back in his chair and then props his legs on the table.
“I’m not gay.” Dean presses out, because yeah of course that is still the only thing that matters to him. Or at least the most important one.
“Never said we were.” Other-Dean answers easily and he even looks at his fingernails. Dean is seriously asking himself, if he was always such an asshole or if that changed in the future.
“Then why are you flirting with Cas?!” Dean says louder than he wants to and he hastily clasps his hands over his mouth. The grin from Other-Dean only turns wider and Dean glares at him.
“Because I want to. I miss my Cas already.” Other-Dean says honestly and Dean is a bit surprised, when he hears the ache in his doublegangers voice. He isn’t flirting with Castiel just to fuck with Dean he… actually misses him.
“I’m sorry man, I’m sure we can get you back in no time, but leave him alone.” Dean says and he can’t even meet Other-Dean’s eyes at the last part. It just… doesn’t feel right to see Castiel getting touched like it.
It was already bad enough with April, or when Castiel had told him that Hannah had kissed him. Dean groans at his own thoughts, normally he would just ignore them, but right now he feels as if Other-Dean punched him right in the stomach.
“No promises.” Other-Dean replies cheekily and Dean starts to hate his own face. Is he always looking so smug?
“Whatever you say, old man.” Dean huffs and he wants to get up and leave. He doesn’t need to have this conversation. What he needs right now is some good old whiskey. Yeah that does sound like a good idea.
“I’m 46 you asshole.” Other-Dean says and Dean sits back down at that. Finally some important information. That is not too far away actually, Dean had somehow thought that he was older, but then again he doesn’t look old.
“Really? You look like I didn’t age at all.” Dean lets his eyes wander over Other-Dean again, but he is right. Not only doesn’t he look ten years older, now he almost seems to glow. Dean frowns harder.
“That’s what some good sex does to you.” Other-Dean laughs and Dean punches on the table. Okay. That freaking hurt like hell, but he wouldn’t let his other self know that. Other-Dean’s grin only gets wider.
“Well I’ll have you know, that I’m having good sex as well.” Dean says, trying to look just as smug, but he is sure that he is failing hardly at that. Other-Dean shakes his head, leaning onto the table.
“Dude. I am you. I know exactly, that only your right hand gives you the attention you need at night.” Other-Dean is smirking and Dean looks down, clearly blushing at that. Other-Dean is right, he can’t even remember the last time he got laid.
“Fuck you.” Dean says half-heartedly and that only gets him even more laughter.
“While we are already at it, you should not only finally start to have sex again. No, you should spice it up a little as well.” Other-Dean says with another wink. Dean sits up more straight at that.
“W-what do you mean?” Dean whispers, a bit shocked. He really hopes Sam and Castiel can’t hear them, because he feels like this will take a similar turn to what happened with the future he had seen before. With stoned Castiel and Lucifer using his little brother as meatsuit.
“Just saying you should start to enjoy life. Stop trying to live the life Dad wanted you to.” Other-Dean says and he shrugs. Dean had never thought that he would get over his father’s wishes and started to do what he wants, but apparently that is what his future-self is doing.
“But he…” Dean starts and Other-Dean is already shaking his head.
“He isn’t here anymore, Dean. Seriously, it still hurts me and I miss him, but I like my life as it is now.” Other-Dean says calmly and he is smiling almost softly now. Dean shrugs awkwardly, not sure how to feel about this.
“I know that, but he was always proud when I did what he wanted and no matter how stupid…” Dean says, but Other-Dean is interrupting him again. Dean glares, but Other-Dean doesn’t seem to care.
“Stop right there. We aren’t stupid, you know that right?” Other-Dean says, now a bit more angry again. Dean raises his eyebrows.
“I said, you know that we aren’t stupid, right? Heck, we are damn clever. It took me a long time to see it, but we are.” Other-Dean says and there is that tiny smile again. Dean opens his mouth, nothing coming out.
Other-Dean gets up and goes over to the shelves, before he takes out some old whiskey. Dean is still tongue-tied when Other-Dean brings two glasses over to the table and puts one down in front of Dean.
“So… you what, love yourself and are happy?” Dean asks more sarcastic than anything, but Other-Dean nods, before he takes a sip of the whiskey. He shudders, when it burns in the best way possible.
“Well, I just accepted myself. It wasn’t an easy way, but let me tell you, it’s worth it. So I do like boys, what is the problem with that?” Other-Dean asks and Dean rolls his eyes. That topic again.
“I’m not gay.” Dean protests, not as hard as before.
“No, we’re bisexual you idiot.” Other-Dean says and Dean’s teeth click, when he shuts his mouth. Bisexual. Sure he knows what that means, at least in theory but could he…? Dean shakes his head. He doesn’t have time for that right now.
“Whatever.” Dean huffs, taking a sip of the whiskey himself. Just as he thought, it burns heavenly. He groans and gulps the glass down in one go. Other-Dean rolls his eyes at that behaviour, but he doesn’t comment on it.
Funny what can change in ten years. They are the same person and still so different. Dean kinda wishes he was as carefree as his future-self, but he really hopes the future will look like this.
“I even wear panties.” Other-Dean says, just as Dean has his mouth full with whiskey again. Dean’s eyes widen, while he coughs harshly. Oh god, wrong pipe. Other-Dean shrugs and leans back, Dean’s eyes wander down.
“What the fuck.” Dean whispers.
“Yeah, that’s how awesome the future is.” Other-Dean explains and then he pushes one hand in his pants. Dean’s eyes almost fall out of his head, when he sees the pink fabric. The fucker wasn’t lying.
“You can’t wear them!” Dean says hastily, looking around to see if Castiel decided to come back. The room is still empty besides them.
“Why not? Castiel loves them. Heck, the first time I wore…” Other-Dean explains, but Dean hastily leans over the whole table, holding his hand over Other-Dean’s mouth. His heart is beating way too fast and Dean knows it’s not from the alcohol.
“Stop that!” Dean whispers, feeling close to tears for no reason. Other-Dean licks his hand and a bit disgusted Dean lets him go.
“Why are you so afraid of the truth? You wanna know why I’m so happy? Why I’m so carefree and why I still look like I’m twenty? Dude I’m in love. No, not in love like we were with Lisa. This is bigger, so get that in your thick head.” Other-Dean sounds really angry now and Dean knows he is hurt as well.
“Cas is an angel.” Dean whispers and Other-Dean nods. He looks sadly at his glass.
“I know. But… we deserve him and he deserves us. Only we and our feelings matter and I was never more happy in my life. I love him.” Other-Dean says, he doesn’t meet Dean’s eyes, but Dean knows that he really means it.
His future-self is in love with Cas. Castiel. The angel of the lord, Castiel. Dean wishes he could say he was honestly surprised, but he isn’t. There is just this weird feeling in his stomach. A knot, that grows with every second.
“What if I don’t want that?” Dean says quietly and he winces, when Other-Dean puts his glass loudly on the table, while he gets up. Dean watches him.
“Then you miss the best part of your life. I want to go back to my life, to my boyfriend. We… we are looking for a child. There is this small boy in a children’s home, he is all alone and we already filled out the papers.” Other-Dean says, his voice shaking, and even though Dean can’t see his face anymore, he knows how he sounds while crying.
“Y-you will have a son?” Dean asks, his hand starting to shake as well.
“Yeah… his name is Liam and… please don’t take that away from me… from us.” Dean whispers, before he is out of the room.
Dean swallows around the lump in his throat.
Dean hadn’t slept all night. He was just tossing and turning all night, whispering Castiel’s name into the darkness.
“Good morning… uh Dean?”
“Really, Sam? You can’t even recognize your own damn brother?” Dean asks grumpily, while he is searching for some coffee. His hands are shaking like hell and he hopes that Sam doesn’t see that, otherwise he would try to feed him kale again.
“Technically you are both my brother.” Sam just answers, but there is a grin on his face. Dean huffs and then whines, when Sam takes ages again to get the coffee set up. Dean and the coffee machine aren’t speaking anymore, so Sam always has coffee duty.
“Fuck you.” Dean mutters.
“Oh yeah you are my Dean. The future guy is a lot more happy.” Sam says and then holds up a mug for Dean to take. Dean huffs a bit and he pretends not to sulk. Sam rolls his eyes anyway.
“Anyway, I didn’t find anything about time travel like this. Normally witches shouldn’t be able to do this, only angels can do it.” Sam explains slowly and Dean nods. Thanks to Castiel back then, he had met his mom when she was already pregnant with him. It was… weird.
“So we have a possible angel, who sends me back in the past to… what exactly?” Dean asks, but Sam doesn’t seem to have an answer for that, he just shakes his head and makes himself some breakfast.
Dean shudders at the deep voice and he even ducks his head. He is not sure what to make out of the things his future-self told him the night before. So yes, Dean had always seen Castiel as is best friend.
How could he not? Castiel was always there, sure, he made some mistakes along the way, but who was Dean to judge that? Castiel had helped Dean more than any other person ever had (besides Sammy) and Dean would do anything for his best friend as well.
But loving him?
“Hey Cas.” Dean decides to speak up and Castiel turns immediately to him. There is a shy smile on his face and he nods towards Dean, who can’t seem to look away from Castiel’s blue eyes. Maybe he did have a few dreams about them before, so what?
Sam coughs slightly and Dean looks at his coffee again. The staring is nothing new, but for the first time Dean feels a bit uncomfortable after. Normally it calms and excites him at the same time.
“Did you get enough sleep?” Castiel asks and he frowns. Dean only shrugs, because he doesn’t want to lie to the angel, but he also wouldn’t tell him, that he didn’t sleep. That would just lead him to more questions he is not ready to answer.
“You heard anything from heaven?” Sam switches the topic and Dean is glad that sometimes his brother notices, when Dean needs to get out of the spotlight. Castiel sighs loudly, before he sits down at the table.
“Not really. I mean sure it didn’t go unnoticed by the angels, that somebody messed with the time, but they don’t know what exactly caused it.” Castiel says and he picks up his mug. There is a bright yellow bee on it and Dean smiles when he sees it. He got it Castiel for christmas last year.
“And you can’t just get him back?” Dean asks grumpily and Castiel turns back to him. Dean feels the urge to reach out and touch Castiel, just like his future-self did yesterday. Dean puts both hands around his mug instead.
“I’m not sure that would be wise, the risk to cause even more damage and destroy your future is too big.” Castiel says, his blue eyes turning sad, but there is something more, that Dean can’t really point out.
“Balls.” Dean mutters and Sam chuckles, because it reminds them both of Bobby. Sam gets settled too and eats some fruit, while he checks something in the newspaper. Castiel sips his coffee, but he also has a book in front of him.
Dean just watches Cas.
It’s almost cute how concentrated Castiel looks like this and sometimes he licks over his lips. Dean glances towards Sam, but his brother doesn’t give him any attention, so Dean focuses on the angel.
Okay. Castiel is not ugly. Dean knew that before, but right now it spreads a very familiar warmth in his tummy. Castiel swallows and Dean looks down towards his neck. Today he has left the tie a bit more open and Dean can see his breastbones.
Fuck - so of course Castiel is actually pretty stunning and sometimes Dean wonders what is under that loose suit and trench coat, but that doesn’t mean that he is actually crushing on his best friend, right?
“Uhm guys, has anyone seen future-Dean?” Sam asks then and Dean snaps out of his thoughts. Shit, what if the asshole already left and they didn’t even notice it?
“Yes, I watched over him last night and woke him up. He is showering at the moment.” Castiel says and Sam chuckles, while Dean’s heart grows heavy. He remembers exactly how he told Castiel that it’s creepy to watch him sleep and that he should stop it. He also remembers how sad Castiel had looked.
“That’s something.” Sam says and Dean nods. There is this urge in him again, to reach out for Castiel. To ask Castiel to watch over him and not his future-self. Maybe go shower together and… Dean jerks out of that thought and his mug falls over, the whole table now covered in coffee.
Castiel looks a bit surprised but he fixes it with a bit of grace. Dean’s ears burn in shame and he gets up to fill his cup again. Of course his damn future-self uses that moment to show up.
“What? I smell no bacon? What a rude morning, I have needs.” Other-Dean says, when he enters the room. He is wearing the same clothes he did yesterday, but a new warm flannel on top of them. Dean frowns, he could bet that he had laid that out for himself today.
“Why are you surprised? We both know how Sam cooks.” Dean says and his brother looks up from his newspaper to shoot him another bitch face.
“Who was talking about Sam? Cas always makes me breakfast.” Other-Dean pouts and then he blinks sadly at Castiel, who looks more scared than anything else. Dean raises his eyebrows.
“Cas makes you breakfast?” Dean asks because he doesn’t believe this, but Other-Dean nods and then there is this sad look in his eyes again, almost as if he wants to tear up. Dean is sure that he doesn’t show this many emotions on a normal day. Future-Dean is weak, that’s it.
“I don’t know how to cook.” Castiel admits then and he sounds almost ashamed, but then again Castiel is always feeling bad, if he thinks that he disappointed Dean.
“Yeah, I know… I taught you.” Other-Dean whispers, he seems lost in some memories and Dean feels as if his coffee wants to come back up. He didn’t even know his face could look like this. He didn’t know… he could love like his future-self does it.
“You taught Cas to cook?” Sam says and he finally puts the newspaper away. Dean rolls his eyes when he sees that there are a lot of red circles on it now. Other-Dean nods and then goes towards the stove on his own.
“It took me some time, but was worth it. Cas loves to cook and I can say my fiancé makes the best pie in the whole state.” Other-Dean says and Dean chokes on nothing but spit, but that one word, makes his world spin.
“Fiancé!” Sam gasps, but he sounds so happy. Other-Dean nods shortly, maybe he feels bad for spoiling that.
Dean doesn’t dare to look up, because he can feel Castiel’s eyes on him and he winces quietly. Fuck. He is engaged to Castiel, angel of the lord. Holy shit, he would end up in hell, how can his future-self be so happy?
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to actually say that, but yeah, Cas proposed a while back.” Other-Dean admits and Dean feels as if someone drove his Baby right over him. He shouldn’t really be surprised, because Other-Dean told him they were looking to adopt a child, but he hastily gets up anyway.
He is out of the room, before somebody can say anything. Ignoring Castiel’s sad eyes on him.
Dean flees to his room, sitting on the bed and looking at nothing. He is going to marry Castiel. Okay well not right now but apparently some time in the future. In ten years to be exact.
While he does think he is going to have a panic attack, it never comes. No, instead he gets a lot calmer the longer he thinks about it. It’s Castiel, not some stranger. It’s his best friend and Dean… he is a bit curious now, what it’s like to be loved by Castiel.
It’s for sure a good feeling. Castiel would keep him safe, he does understand the whole hunting problem, he would… yeah Castiel would take care of him. Heck, he learned cooking just to please Dean and he strokes his hair and holds his hand.
Dean’s heart jumps.
He would never admit it, but he had always ached for a normal relationship. While Sam openly said that he wanted a girlfriend and to settle down without hunting, Dean had done what his father wanted.
That didn’t change the fact, that he had wanted it all, too. He remembers how his heart broke the first time he told Cassie about the hunting and she didn’t want him anymore. And then there was Lisa. Dean was sure he would never try the whole dating thing again.
Sometimes it’s better to focus on what you deserve and Dean never thought he deserved something good anyway. He had told Castiel that and the angel had shown him, that even Dean Winchester deserves a bit of happiness. Dean smiles a bit.
Yeah. He would probably be a very good husband. Which leaves him to just another thought. Would Dean be a good husband as well?
Dean looks up into his own face. Couldn’t the guy leave him alone?
“What do you want?” Dean asks and he tries to sound annoyed. It mostly comes out scared and sad. Other-Dean smiles.
“It’s a big shock, hm?” Other-Dean says and sits down next to him. Dean nods, seeking comfort and leans against his future-self. Other-Dean chuckles at that.
“You could say that.” Dean mumbles, suddenly feeling so exhausted, just from thinking. He hopes that Castiel isn’t too sad right now, after Dean ran out like that. Other-Dean puts an arm around him and if that isn’t weird.
“If it makes you feel better, I think you are already in love with him. Well actually I know that.” Other-Dean says quietly and Dean hides his face against his shoulder. God this is probably the weirdest thing that ever happened and that means something in a life like his.
“Why?” Dean asks back and Other-Dean chuckles again. He doesn’t seem very worried, that Dean could destroy their future now.
“Why, what? Why we love him? I think that is pretty obvious, right? Why he loves us is a very different question but… if he taught me one thing in all the years it’s that I deserve good things too.” Other-Dean says slowly and Dean nods. Sometimes… he really believes that he deserves something good.
Not everything, but just … something.
“I think I might have a crush on him.” Dean says so quietly, that even his future-self should have problems to understand him. There is a hand on his shoulder, squeezing and Other-Dean smiles carefully.
“I know, it will become so much more than that and I promise you it will be good.” Other-Dean says and Dean nods. He searches for his phone and sees it on his nightstand. He takes it with shaking fingers, Other-Dean raises his eyebrows.
“Charlie.” Dean says, when she finally picks up. She is at the other side of the country right now, but Dean needs his emotional support right now and he wouldn’t for sure talk about this with his brother.
“Hey Deano.” Charlie says happily. Dean thinks he should ask her about the hunt first, make sure that she is alright and maybe ask her to stop by some, since he misses her. Instead he opens his mouth and something very different comes out.
“I’m crushing on Cas.” Dean blurts out and it still feels so weird to say that. For goodness sake, Castiel is in a freaking male body and Dean never… almost never had the desire to go after another man.
“Oh, well okay, nothing new but cool.” Charlie answers and she does sound a bit confused now. Other-Dean laughs loudly and Dean pushes him away. What an asshole, why was he trying to get friendly with him.
“What do you mean, that is nothing new?” Dean asks almost hysterical, because how the hell could Charlie know, when Dean just found out and why is Other-Dean still laughing so hard, there are actually tears in his eyes.
“I mean… wait why are you laughing?” Charlie asks and Dean groans.
“Oh yeah long story, but my own future-asshole-self sits next to me.” Dean explains and for a moment Charlie is very quiet, then she is laughing as well. Dean rolls his eyes, but Other-Dean takes the phone out of his hands.
“Hey Charles, what’s up?” Other-Dean says cheekily and Charlie snorts.
“Oh god, this is hilarious. So your future-self told you about your feelings for Cas or what?” Charlie wants to know and Dean wants to take the phone back, but Other-Dean is faster and holds it away from him.
“Yeah he has a full on gay crisis, because I told him Cas and I will marry soon.” Other-Dean says proudly and even though he is mostly saying it to mock Dean, he can hear how much it still means to Other-Dean.
Dean snatches the phone out of his hands, glaring at him.
“You better make me your maid of honor, Winchester.” Charlie squeals and Other-Dean promises she could of course be that, as long as she would share the spotlight with Sammy. Charlie sounds so excited.
“Aaanyway. Tell me, what do you mean, that is nothing new?” Dean still wants to know and Charlie stops squealing for a second, thank god, his ears were starting to hurt. Other-Dean is still grinning.
“You are so obvious sometimes. I mean you and Cas? That is a better love story than Twilight.” Charlie says and Dean snorts.
“Twilight was a shitty love story.” Dean says and he doesn’t even care that he admits that he had seen the movie. Other-Dean nods his head at those words and Charlie laughs again.
“Yeah you are right. Still Cas also seems to watch you in your sleep like Edward did with Bella.” Charlie says and now Other-Dean is full on laughing again. Dean isn’t sure what’s so funny, but he smiles too.
“That makes me the chick, huh?” Dean says and Charlie’s laughter gets only louder. Dean knows that she is probably crying at this point, but it helps to talk about the topic like this. Sure, he is still afraid, but… he knows at least his whole family is on board with them.
“You’d look great in a wedding dress.” Charlie says and Dean snorts.
“I know.” Other-Dean replies cheekily and Dean rolls his eyes, but even though he wouldn’t wear a dress at their wedding, it doesn’t freak him out that they are making this jokes anymore. He actually feels as if someone lifted a big stone from his chest.
“Okay Charlie, we need to go. But uhm… thank you.” Dean says and Other-Dean seems very pleased.
“No problem, you know that you can always count on me and I would be the last person to judge you for your feelings, but I think you know that. Also too bad I’m hours away from you and I still didn’t find this damn witch, so you better send me a selfie of you two.” Charlie says and Dean laughs.
“Okay sure. Love you.” Dean says before he ends the call. Other-Dean is grinning so much, but he leans against him again. Dean pretends to be annoyed, but he holds up his phone anyway.
“Say cheese.” Other-Dean says, when Dean takes a selfie of them. He is definitely annoyed, when he sees that Other-Dean makes some bunny ears behind his head. Overall… he thinks that picture shows a lot.
While Other-Dean grins happily in the camera, showing a lot of laughter lines and his teeth, Dean looks grumpy, not smiling at all and trying to go for a cool picture. He would never admit it, but Other-Dean looks way better than him. Just overall happy.
Dean just sent the picture when there is a knock on his door.
“Guys? Uhm… I think we need to talk.” Sam says, when he enters the room. Castiel is right behind him and to Dean’s horror, he looks so sad. Dean isn’t sure what to do but before he can say anything, Other-Dean is already getting up.
Castiel smiles a tiny bit when he sees Other-Dean coming towards him and then he just stands beside him, leaning against Castiel and even putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, stroking it carefully.
Dean ignores the wish to do that himself.
“What do you want?” Dean asks his brother and Sam blinks in surprise at the aggressive tone. Dean isn’t even angry with his brother, but he is definitely jealous of his future-self, which is pretty stupid but also really confirms, that Dean actually likes the angel.
“Well, we still have no idea how to get… Dean back, so I thought in the meantime, we could go on a hunt.” Sam explains slowly, he seems nervous and Dean grimaces.
“You mean Dean Two. The other Dean.” Dean says grumpily and Other-Dean gasps loudly. It’s so fake, but Castiel looks alarmed anyway.
“He is just Dean, like you.” Castiel says carefully, while Other-Dean snuggles even more into his side. Dean is sure that by now his whole face is red from embarrassment and anger. He had just confessed to have a crush on the angel and now his future-self is doing this.
“Yeah and I’m sure Cas likes me more.” Other-Dean says and this time he wraps both his arms around Castiel’s neck. It looks almost as if he is going for a kiss and before Dean can stop himself, he is getting up and pushes him away.
“Stop this bullshit.” Dean says angrily, but while Other-Dean justs huffs and freaking hides behind Sam, Dean can see how hurt Castiel is by that. He probably thinks, that Dean just don’t want to ‘look gay’. Dean almost reaches out for him and takes his hand, but he is a damn coward and turns to his brother.
Castiel sighs quietly.
“Okay. So what do you say, going on a hunt?” Sam asks and holds up the newspaper he had earlier. Dean reads over the article Sam points out and shrugs. It does sound like a hunt, so maybe they should check it out.
“Shouldn’t we get him back first?” Dean asks and points at Other-Dean, who looks over Sam’s shoulder now.
“Dean… don’t you have an idea how we could get you back?” Castiel asks and he looks as if he actually doesn’t want to send Other-Dean back at all. Dean can’t even blame him for that, honestly. Other-Dean seems way more happy and comfortable in his own body.
“Of course I do.” Other-Dean says, but he frowns.
“Wait? Then why didn’t you say anything? Don’t you wanna go back?” Sam asks and he finally steps away. For the first time Other-Dean seems to be really nervous, he can’t even look them in the eye.
“Because… I need to be here! I know exactly when I need to get back and it’s not now.” Other-Dean says, but he seems somehow really sad about something. Dean can’t pinpoint it exactly but something just changed.
Other-Dean looks back to Castiel, this time his green eyes show something else. Agony.
“That… does make sense actually. If you spoil it for us, maybe it won’t happen and you will never be able to go back.” Sam says slowly and even Castiel nods. Dean can understand where they come from, but that doesn’t mean that he likes it one bit.
“Yeah I know.” Other-Dean says quietly and Dean sees how he glances to Castiel again.
“Okay so this hunt is just a few towns over. Castiel already said that he thinks it’s a witch and from what I read I would think so, too.” Sam explains and Dean tunes it out. He is still watching his future-self. Other-Dean looks so heartbroken and afraid as well.
Dean closes his eyes and tries to focus on his brother.
“This is so gross.” Dean and Other-Dean say at the same time. Sam actually chuckles at that and even Castiel smiles a tiny bit. Dean almost gets closer to the angel, but he tries to remember that he isn’t really allowed to do that.
Fuck, while he can at least admit his tiny crush on Cas, he won’t let anything else happen.
He doesn’t understand how Other-Dean can be such an idiot, but Castiel clearly deserves better than them. Heck, Dean would bet all his money, that they first time they had sex, he probably freaked out and hurt Castiel in the process.
So, he decides for himself, it’s better to find someone else for the angel. Someone… worthy.
“So at least we can confirm now that it’s a witch.” Sam says, while he carefully closes the hex bag again. Dean still shudders at the thought of the infant bones in there. Why do witches love this nasty stuff?
“She shouldn’t be too hard to find.” Castiel assures them and Dean sees that he is standing at the big living room window that points toward the big garden. Maybe she is still close and Castiel can sense her.
“Yeah, buddy here doesn’t seem to be dead for a long time, his blood is still warm.” Other-Dean confirms and Dean gags behind his hand. Oh he just wants to go home and stay in his bed forever. Maybe watch a porn or two.
“I don’t like this. All her victims were male and twins.” Sam says quietly. They hadn’t really read that in the crappy newspaper, but the police officer had told them earlier. Dean raises his eyebrows.
“And? Poor bastards, but that is not gonna help us.” Dean answers and his brother pulls another bitchface at him, even Other-Dean looks annoyed.
“Well you and … you could basically be twins.” Sam explains and Dean’s eyes widen. Shit he is right. Maybe the witch wouldn’t care that he and his future-self aren’t actually twins. Oh they are fucked.
“Maybe you both should go back to the motel.” Castiel suggests and he sounds really worried, Dean wants to roll his eyes, but then he sees the look on the angel’s face. Other-Dean is already there though and puts his hand on Castiel’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, Cas. I know you will protect us.” Other-Dean says and there are those heart eyes again. Dean wants to rip his future-self’s throat out. Castiel’s gaze turns a bit softer though and Dean has to say, that does look good on him.
Before someone can say anything more, the door downstairs rattles. Sam has his knife out in under two seconds and Dean only feels safe when he holds his gun up. He doesn’t even need to look to know Castiel has his angel blade and Other-Dean his own gun. Or the same gun. Doesn’t matter.
“It’s the witch.” Castiel whispers, when they can hear someone walking up the stairs. Dean is getting goosebumps all over his body, he hates situations like this. Normally he is the one to walk up on people.
Dean eyes the window again and thinks about making a jump for it. Other-Dean shakes his head, before Dean can even get the question out. He knows his future-self is right, it does look incredible too high to make it out alive without some crushed bones.
“Hello hunters.” The witch says and Dean wrinkles his nose.
“Get ready.” Sam says, as if that would help someone. Dean takes a step back, no directly with the back to the wall. Castiel is between him and Other-Dean, while Sam is right at the door.
The door finally opens and Dean swallows. He knows the freaking witch and seems like Sam remembers her too, if Dean reads his loud gasp right.
The witch smirks at him, her lilac hair glowing brightly, while her eyes turn into the same color. Dean swears under his breath.
It was just a few years ago, when Dean and Sam had found that new coven. The witches were all new ones, so nothing too hard to fight. Only the couple that started the coven was left, while Sam had killed the guy pretty quick, Dean had lost the wife in the dark night.
He regrets things like this everyday, but seems like this time, he would
“Nice to see you again, Dean. Two versions even. This makes it only better.” The witch says and Dean sighs. Why is his life always like this?
“What do you want, bitch.” Dean growls and he sees how Castiel looks at him for swearing. He is always doing that, but for Dean an “assbutt” is simply not enough. Other-Dean at least grins, while Sam rolls his eyes.
“Well let’s say we should talk about some payback. You both killed my coven and… my husband.” The witch says and her dark lilac hair gets a bit darker for a few seconds, before it’s as bright as it was before.
“You killed a whole town.” Sam now says, but the witch doesn’t even look at him, while she uses her magic and soon enough, Sam is pressed with his back to the wall on her right. She walks into the room, completely ignoring him.
Dean takes a step forward, when he sees his brother helpless like that, but the witch clicks her tongue and shakes her head. Dean stays where he is.
“Let him go.” Dean growls, because for sure, this damn bitch would now try to kill Sammy, as some weird payback. To Dean’s surprise, she grins.
“I don’t care about your brother, I just need him to shut up for this part, after that he can walk away.” The witch says and Dean can see how Sam grabs his throat, apparently he really can’t speak. Fuck, Dean should’ve listened when Sam wanted to teach him sign language.
“Ramona.” Castiel says and he is the one to take a step forward, his hand really holds the angel blade and Dean nods. Ramona, yeah that was her name.
“Castiel, I wish I could say it is a pleasure to finally meet you, but it’s not.” Ramona says, her hair slowly turning a dark green. Dean rolls his eyes, at the party trick, while Other-Dean seems to be afraid.
Dean frowns, because somehow his future-self looks worse with every minute. He is white as a wall and his eyes flicker from Castiel back to the witch.
“Dean and Sam told me about their hunt and your husband.” Castiel says and Dean nods, he had asked Castiel to keep an eye out for her back then, seems like this was for nothing.
“And I can promise you, they will pay for that. I heard about the ...is it the fourth Winchester brother, if we count the dead Adam?” Ramona asks and her grins is so disgusting that Dean wishes he could rip it off her face.
“Shut up.” Dean growls, but she ignores him.
“Anyway, Castiel here tried to find a solution for your little problem and I was just killing one of your angel friends and heard it all. I knew it was my chance to finally get you and what can I say? Just killing a few twins here and there, and oh look how fast I get your attention.” Ramona says and Dean looks towards Sammy, who makes a lot of wild gestures.
“Who else knows about the two versions of Dean?” Castiel asks and he sounds so angry. Other-Dean is almost hiding behind him and Dean kinda wants to do the same. Not that he is really scared of Ramona but he still hates this.
“Probably every monster I could tell. Easier to kill him, when there are two targets, right?” Ramona says and she looks so pleased with herself. Dean has to say she is right with that, even if she kills Dean’s future-self, he will only have ten years left and then die in this nightmare.
Dean looks up.
Maybe that’s why Other-Dean is so scared. He knows that he will die here, because he had seen it in his past, that Dean is living right now. God, time travels are confusing and they suck a lot.
But, it would also explain why Other-Dean is constantly trying to flirt and cuddle with Castiel. He knows he can never do that again. That’s why he was so sad when he talked about his future with Castiel.
He knows there won’t be one.
“You will not hurt him!” Castiel says angrily, but Ramona laughs.
“I never wanted him, you idiot.” Ramona answers and that’s when their fight begins. Dean doesn’t registers really any of this. Too focused on Other-Dean.
Dean was still so in his thoughts, that he missed the last of the conversation. Just as he shakes his head to get the thoughts away, he sees how Castiel takes a few steps forward, angel blade above his head.
“Try me.” Ramona says and out of nowhere, she is holding an angel blade. Dean’s words get stuck in his throat, because Castiel is already too close and the blade points directly towards his heart.
Dean wants to look away, because he finally understands. Ramona is going to kill his best friend, his angel, his… other kind of future.
“NO!” Dean says, but he knows it’s too late. He can see how shocked Castiel looks as he realizes that she has an angel blade as well. Dean can’t do anything but stare and hope for a goddamn miracle.
Dean watches in pure shock, as Other-Dean comes from the left side and pushes Castiel out of the way. The witch seems surprised as well and she just cuts Other-Dean’s arm open instead of Castiel’s chest.
Castiel falls to the side, while the witch screams in anger and continues to go for Other-Dean, who is laying on the ground. This time Dean doesn’t hesitate and before she can cut Other-Dean again, Dean puts a bullet through her head, just as he should’ve years ago.
Sam is freed from the wall and coughs loudly, still looking for his voice to come back, while Castiel gets up to his feet again. The angels looks completely unharmed and Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Other-Dean doesn’t look so good. He is holding his arm to his chest and seems to be crying from the pain. Dean is sure that she cut him open to the bone and he feels like puking. She could’ve killed Cas.
She nearly did. Holy shit. Dean is not ready to lose him again or… ever.
“Dean!” Castiel says, but it isn’t him who is calling out for. No, Castiel kneels down in front of Other-Dean and strokes through his hair. Other-Dean looks up to him, his green eyes really filled with tears.
“Y-you okay?” Other-Dean whispers and Castiel nods, he carefully puts his hand against Dean’s cheek and strokes over the red skin. Other-Dean closes his eyes for a second and he looks exhausted.
Castiel holds two fingers to his forehead to heal him, but nothing happens. Seems like the witch at least took Castiel’s angel powers for now. Dean can’t wait to feel that pain in ten years.
“I’m fine, but you are hurt.” Castiel says, his deep voice sounds so pained and Dean wishes he could go over there and just hug him, but he knows that isn’t his moment.
Other-Dean grins through his tears and tries to sit up. Castiel carefully helps him and Dean can see how the blood flows down to Other-Dean’s lap. It seems like there is so much of it. Other-Dean holds onto Castiel.
“I love you.” Other-Dean says and Dean gasps quietly. Sure he had known that, but hearing it like this is something every different. Castiel’s gaze is what Dean kills for real, because Castiel looks so happy to hear that.
Castiel looks as if he might love him back.
Before Dean can say anything, Castiel leans down and presses his lips to Other-Dean’s mouth, kissing him right there and then. Dean can see how his future-self opens his mouth and Castiel doesn’t wait to deepen the kiss.
Dean looks away.
“Oh okay.” Sam mumbles quietly and Dean would laugh, but he is still shocked. He can still see how Ramona had looked, when she wanted to kill Castiel and Dean had done nothing. If his future-self weren’t here, Castiel would be dead.
Dean wipes some tears away. Other-Dean faints in Castiel’s arms.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Sam whispers the next day. Dean can’t even remember the drive back. He had just sat on the passenger seat, while Sammy drove them all home. Castiel cradling Other-Dean to his chest on the backseat.
“Numb.” Dean answers honestly, but when he looks up, a tear drops down his face. Sam smiles sadly and wipes the next tears away, before he sits down next to Dean on the couch of the ‘Dean cave’.
“It’s a lot to take in.” Sam offers and Dean nods tiredly. He hadn’t slept all night and on the other end of the room he can see how Other-Dean is curled up on the love-seat. His arm badly wrapped in a cast, Sam made earlier.
“I… I didn’t do anything Sammy and…” Dean starts but it’s hard to talk and he stops. Sam just shushes him and nods. At least his brother understands him. Dean wishes he could apologize to Castiel, but the angel is only there for Other-Dean now.
Dean had fucked up his chances and he knows it.
“I know Dean, but it’s okay, hm? He is alive and he knows you didn’t freeze on purpose.” Sam mutters quietly and Dean watches how Other-Dean moves from one side to the other. He probably has nightmares.
“I’m sorry.” Dean whispers anyway and he somehow hopes that Castiel is still listening to his prayers. Sam gets up again, probably trying to force Dean to eat in a few minutes again and Dean wants to hide under his blanket.
“Fuck.” Other-Dean groans, when his arm touches the armrest of the loveseat. He hisses and then tries to lay on his other side again. Dean winces, because he is sure an angel blade wound is one of the worst ones.
Dean hastily sits up when Castiel comes into the room. He looks stressed and Dean really hopes they can talk, but the angel walks just straight past him over to Other-Dean, who also sits up, fully awake now.
“I’m okay, Cas.” Other-Dean says, but there is a tiny smile on his face. That doesn’t seem to reassure Castiel in the slightest, because he still looks worried. Just as Dean wants to speak up and maybe apologize, Castiel leans down.
He kisses Other-Dean carefully and sweet. Other-Dean’s breath hitches and Dean tries to tear his eyes away, but he can’t. Castiel hums quietly and he even puts his hands on Other-Dean’s cheeks again, before he breaks the kiss.
“I worry anyway.” Castiel says and Sam chooses that moment to come back into the room. As Dean had thought he has a bowl of soup in his hands and Dean shakes his head, before he can open his mouth. He is not hungry at all now.
“You will eat something today.” Sam says anyway, even though Dean is mostly ignoring him. He can hear Other-Dean chuckling and can see that he and Castiel are whispering. Dean glares at the damn cast.
Castiel signed it earlier, even with a heart. Dean sniffles.
“Okay that’s it. We will talk.” Sam says and he helps Dean up from the couch. Dean doesn’t even fight back and lets himself be pulled to the feet.
“Yeah I don’t wanna be here anyway.” Dean says loudly, so the lovebirds would he hear, but he doesn’t look back, when Sam helps him out of the room, so he doesn’t see how hurt Castiel looks.
Dean didn’t get hurt on that damn hunt, but he still feels exhausted and leans against Sam, while they walk towards the kitchen. Just as soon as Dean sits on the table, Sam pushes the bowl in front of him again.
“Look Dean, I know this his hard for you to watch, but I’m sure your future-self has a reason why he loves Cas.” Sam starts slowly and he sits down opposite from him. Dean rolls his eyes.
“No shit.” Dean mutters.
“Cas is a great guy and he was always there for us and if you think there would ever be a chance that you could love him then maybe…” Sam starts, but Dean is already holding up his hand and Sam stops.
“I love him, okay? And no not like a brother or whatever bullshit I tried to sell the last years. Like really love him, so shut up.” Dean says and Sam’s eyes almost fall out of his head. Dean has to chuckle a bit, when Sam opens his mouth and then closes it again, only to open it.
It takes Sam almost three minutes to answer, Dean tries very hard not to be offended.
“Okay uhm… that is a lot to take in.” Sam mumbles finally and Dean nods. Cool, Sammy feels overwhelmed, even though he isn’t the one that is in love with a damn angel of the lord, that is nowhere in Dean’s league.
“Yeah, should ask me.” Dean answers and Sam puts his hand over Dean’s on the table. Dean raises his left eyebrow, but says nothing.
“You know that I’m okay with that, right? Dean, you are still the big brother, I look up to.” Sam says and he uses his damn puppy eyes. Dean snorts, but he lets Sam hold his hands for a second longer before he pulls away.
“I know, Sammy. Just wasn’t really aware of my feelings before all… this.” Dean explains and Sam nods, at least he doesn’t look anymore as if Dean had just kicked his first born or anything. Dean sighs.
“So you are… you are not angry that Future-Dean kisses him.” Sam says and Dean gets up, only to walk around the room in circles. Normally they don’t do that. Talk about all their feelings and crap like this, but Dean thinks he is going to explode, if he doesn’t.
“Of course I am angry. He shouldn’t do it.” Dean says and he can’t help how he raises his voice at that. Sam lifts one eyebrow and then looks down to the bowl of soup Dean is still not eating.
“Because you are jealous?” Sam tries and Dean groans.
“No. Maybe, you know what. Just shut up.” Dean says finally, because really could it get more embarrassing? Being jealous of something you will have in the future? Probably not, but then again Dean’s life was always a bit… special.
“I don’t feel like I understand.” Sam admits quietly and Dean sits back down again. Heck he feels so restless and this time he starts to eat the soup, when Sam pushes it forwards to him again. It’s a good feeling when the warmth fills him, but the jealousy still remains, burning hot in his stomach.
“Castiel is an angel, dumbass. Means he is kinda off limits, don’t you think?” Dean asks and he speaks with his mouth full. Sam looks away, serves him right for being such an annoying… wonderful brother.
“No.” Sam says and it sounds so honest. This time Dean is the one who stares a bit dumbfounded at his brother, because what the fuck?
“What do you mean ‘no’? I mean sure you can’t see his wings or his halo but - “ Dean starts, but of course Sam has to interrupt him, with his nerdy wisdom.
“He doesn’t have a halo.” Sam says and swallows the rest of his words down, when he sees how Dean looks at him. Dean growls for effect and waits until he has Sam’s attention again.
“As I just said, he is so much more than we are. He is holy. Do you understand that? I was in hell and I’m sure I’ll go to worse places, if I touch him.” Dean says and Sam shakes his head again. Dean wants to roll his eyes.
“This is bullshit. Dean, we know that demons aren’t always the worst creatures on earth. Crowley or Meg both changed, at least a bit. And we also know that angels are mostly just egotistical assholes. So, what stops you really?” Sam asks and Dean winces. While he does think Castiel is holy and shouldn’t be touched… he knows that Sam is right.
“He deserves better.” Dean finally says and Sam strokes through his long hair. He looks really distraught now. Dean would laugh, if he wasn’t stressed out himself.
“Castiel fell from heaven. For you.” Sam says slowly and Dean nods. He knows that, he finally understands now, why Castiel did that, but it scares him as well. He isn’t worth Castiel’s love.
“Yeah but he shouldn’t have to! I kicked him out afterwards.” Dean says, but that doesn’t seem to make Sam agree with him. His brother’s gaze turns a lot softer, even though he was so angry at Dean himself, for all that shit with Gadreel.
“Because you thought you would help me. Honestly I think nobody else would understand and forgive you, but he does. He understands that you won’t stop hunting and he would never try to separate us.” Sam says and Dean nods. He had already known before this talk that Castiel is pretty much perfect.
Dean is the problem.
“Yeah and what about me? I’m not sure I’m the perfect match.” Dean says and he glares at his brother. If there is one thing worse than talking about your feelings, it’s talking about your insecurities. Dean shudders visible.
“That’s his decision, Dean. You aren’t half as bad as you always think about yourself and I believe he is really gone on you.” Sam explains and Dean pushes his bowl away. He isn’t sure what to do about this situation.
“I have no idea what to do, Sammy.” Dean says loudly and he swears there is some pity in Sam’s eyes, but also something else. Something soft, he pats Dean’s arm.
“Just listen to your heart. I know you and Cas are strong and you will be even stronger together.” Sam says and Dean nods. Maybe he should just trust his angel and finally admit to himself, that his feelings are too deep to stop them now.
Dean had never let himself be happy, maybe he should do that now.
“Okay, fine. Not before my clone is gone though.” Dean mutters, but Sam seems to see this as a victory, his smile is too big and Dean grunts again. Little siblings are such a pain in the ass sometimes.
“Deal. For now, you should really try to nap again and I will see how I can get your double back to his own time.” Sam says and gets up from the table. Before Dean can get the bowl and clean it, Sam is already on it.
Dean smiles. Yeah maybe… he should let other people care for him. Even though it’s only the small things.
“Better be fast.” Dean grins and Sam huffs, while he cleans the bowl.
“Now you can’t wait anymore, or what?” Sam snickers back, but he stops when he sees Dean’s smirk and throws the washcloth after him. Dean laughs loudly, when he leaves Sam in the kitchen.
He really feels a bit better now.
It’s scary to let himself be this vulnerable, but he knows that he can trust his brother and Castiel. Hell he can trust them more than they can trust him. Or at least it feels like that, but Dean would die trying.
He would be the best boyfriend he can manage to be, because that is what Castiel deserves. Dean smiles, while he walks through the bunker. He would apologize to Castiel before he tries to sleep though.
Dean knows he should’ve saved Castiel when Ramona pointed the angel blade at him, but at least he is glad that Other-Dean did it. Maybe that’s why Other-Dean didn’t want to go back to the future.
He wanted to save Castiel first.
“Cas?” Dean asks, but the Dean-cave is empty now. He shrugs and then walks down the floor towards their bedrooms. Castiel has his very own one now and it’s directly next to Dean’s. When they are both in their beds, their heads touch the same wall. Dean smiles a bit more.
Maybe someday they would actually share a room? A bed?
He had that only once with Lisa and while that was good, he had missed Castiel and Sammy deeply back then and couldn’t really focus on their relationship. Now he knows why his heart couldn’t stop thinking about the angel.
“You better sleep now.”
Dean looks up and sees that Castiel’s door is a bit open. Even though he knows of course who Castiel is talking to and he knows he won’t like that picture the two make, he peaks into the room anyway.
Castiel is on the bed, laying against the headboard, Other-Dean is next to him, but his head is on Castiel’s chest. Facing Dean, who gapes in the doorway.
“Told you that I sleep better next to you.” Other-Dean whispers, his finger stroking over Castiel’s naked chest. Dean thinks he is going to get a heart attack. Castiel hums and presses another kiss to Dean’s forehead.
The angel smiles happily and even closes his eyes. Dean is sure that he never looked more relaxed and happy than in this moment.
Dean can’t look away and he sees that Other-Dean’s hand is also healed by now, that means Castiel’s full powers are back. Dean sighs, he is really relieved that Castiel is okay. Other-Dean grins at him.
“Even though of course I like sleeping with you much more.” Other-Dean says and he winks at Dean, who huffs. What an asshole. Castiel laughs loudly and Dean’s heart squeezes.
Yeah. He wants that. All of it.
He waves back to Other-Dean and then leaves. He would get his angel soon. Hopefully Castiel doesn’t just want this happy future version and would take him too. Dean could work on himself for sure.
For Castiel? He would do anything and he finally can pin down this feeling. Love.
Dean jerks awake and grabs next to him, where Castiel was just laying a second ago, but then he remembers that Castiel isn’t here. Never was. He is with Other-Dean.
“I think I found the solution.” Sam says and he looks pretty angry, Dean rubs over his eyes and looks around. It’s only 6pm, which means he slept maybe two hours, which is not bad, but now he feels really sleepy.
“What?” Dean mumbles and sits up a bit, only to yawn loudly. Sam rolls his eyes at him, but that’s when they can already hear some yelling. Dean’s eyes widen, because that sounds a lot like his own voice.
Ugh, why is his future-self such a pain in the ass.
“Come on, we have to talk.” Sam says and he holds up his hand. Dean reaches for it and lets himself be pulled up. He is still wearing his clothes from before, since he didn’t bother to take them off before falling asleep.
“Talk? Again?” Dean whines, because while he does feel a bit better now, that doesn’t mean he wants to talk about it again. Or ever.
“Yeah we have a surprise visitor.” Sam says and oh yeah he is really angry. Dean follows his brother out of the door and the yelling turns a bit louder. Seems like Castiel isn’t in the best mood either. Great.
“Man I hope it’s not another Future-Me.” Dean says and laughs halfheartedly, while Sam shakes his head. They walk towards the war room and the first thing Dean sees is that Castiel is standing at the table.
Other-Dean is sitting on one of the chairs, drinking (his!) beer and growls at something. Sam sits down at the other side of the table and with that giant out of the way, Dean sees what they are yelling at. Or who.
“Gabriel.” He growls himself, while the angel does a short bow.
“Dean, my favorite Human.” Gabriel says grinning widely and Dean wants to punch him already. Somehow it’s always like that with the archangel.
“Liar.” Dean says finally, seeing now that Other-Dean and Castiel are both sitting at the table, holding hands. He wants to say something, but focuses back on Gabriel.
“Yeah you are right, Sammy is my favorite.” Gabriel says and Dean gasps at his brother, when he smiles at that and strokes the hair out of his face. What the fuck.
“Uhm.” Sam makes and Other-Dean chuckles at that. Seems like he loves to tease his brother as well, nice that some things don’t change in the future. Dean looks at Castiel again, who leans against Other-Dean. Well also nice that some things do change.
“What do you want here?” Dean asks and everyone starts yelling at once again. Dean groans and holds his hands over his ears. Is that a madhouse here or what.
“Enough!” Castiel says and everybody quietens down. Gabriel seems a bit offended and crosses his arms while he glares at his younger brother. Siblings. Dean knows the pain.
“Gabriel bought your future-self here.” Sam says finally and Dean looks back to the Archangel, who looks at least a bit sorry. Dean is around the table in just a flash and pins Gabriel against the wall.
“Why?” Dean growls and he tightens his grip around Gabriel’s collar. Gabriel smirks.
“Isn’t that obvious? Look at the lovebirds.” Gabriel says and Dean now really wants to punch him. Just as he puts his hand up, Sam is at his side and shakes his head. Dean is a bit surprised by that and lowers his fist.
“So what? You wanted me to feel like shit? Show me some weird future? Is he even real?” Dean asks and he gets more angry with every second. Maybe Other-Dean was just a lie and Dean could never have that all.
“He meant well.” Sam says slowly, but he still looks angry himself. Dean feels like he is getting a huge headache and from the looks of it, his brother isn’t doing much better.
“I am real.” Other-Dean says and when Dean looks back, he is getting up himself. Not without stroking over Castiel’s shoulder again. He looks guilty and somehow as if he is afraid. Dean tilts his head.
“But?” Castiel asks quietly and Dean only sees now that the angel looks scared as well. Maybe he thinks about what he is going to lose now. Dean wants to tell him, that he doesn’t have to be afraid, but his mouth feels numb.
“Everything I said was real. Cas, you have to believe me. We will have this future and it will be just as wonderful as you are hoping but… I already knew what would happen, of course. Since in my past there was a future Dean as well. Full circle or something.” Other-Dean says slowly and he takes Castiel’s hand.
Castiel looks still so worried.
“You were in my situation at some point?” Dean asks quietly and Other-Dean nods. That actually makes sense, even though it doesn’t make it any better.
“Yeah and it was that moment I realized what I could have and… I took my chance. I knew exactly when Gabriel would come and offer me this time travel and again, I took my chance to have a life with Castiel.” Other-Dean explains slowly. Everyone seems to think about that for a moment.
Dean looks to Castiel, who stares at his future-self. Of course.
“You got hurt.” Castiel mutters finally and Dean can see that there is still a scar on Other-Dean’s arm from the angel blade. He swallows, because he knows what his future-self is thinking right now.
“The pain was incredible but worth it.” Other-Dean says and his gaze softens. Dean is still not satisfied with those answers and growls at Gabriel, who used that moment to get away from him and stands now behind Sam.
“Cas could’ve died!” Dean says and at that the archangel looks just as furious.
“Could’ve? He would’ve if I didn’t get your future ass here to save him, asshat. I changed the whole timeline with this. You are welcome.” Gabriel says and Dean opens his mouth in shock, not a word coming out.
Castiel would’ve died, if it wasn’t for his future self. Dean feels horrible, since it would’ve been his fault, if that had really happened. He feels his finger start to shake, because that means there would be only more blood on his hands.
Other-Dean knows what is going on in his head and comes towards him. Dean still feels weird, when he looks into his own face. He also sees this close that Other-Dean’s nose has a scar. Means future-Castiel didn’t heal it… or couldn’t?
“Hey none of this. We were already past this stage. I am you, so that means you saved him as well. We would never let him die, right?” Other-Dean asks and he looks worried. Dean nods a bit dumbfounded.
“I wouldn’t.” Dean chokes out and Other-Dean nods.
“So if Gabriel came to you and said, you only have one way to save him, would you do it?” Other-Dean asks and Dean nods before his future-self has spoken the whole question.
“Yeah.” Dean says and he can see how hopeful Castiel now looks at them. Dean feels himself tearing up anyway. What if he makes a wrong decision and then Castiel ends up being dead?
“Wrong direction, mate. You think that Castiel and us together are weaker, because you would be used as leverage. I can promise you, it’s the opposite. We are so much stronger with him. We protect each other.” Other-Dean explains slowly, he whispers but Dean is sure that everyone can hear him.
“Promise?” Dean asks back and the first tear drops onto his cheek. That is the biggest fear, that somehow he will be the cause for Castiel’s pain or death, just because he can’t keep his feelings under control.
“Dean.” Castiel is with them now and for the first time this week, he ignores Other-Dean, who gives them a bit more space. Castiel hugs him as tight as he can and Dean hides his face against Castiel’s neck.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Dean hears himself whispers, but then Castiel is carefully stroking his back and Dean feels a bit better. He feels how the guilt slowly vanishes. Castiel is here, with him.
Other-Dean is right, he shouldn’t waste any time together anymore.
“It’s okay. I’m here Dean and I will never leave you.” Castiel says and Dean believes him. His angel would stay. He wouldn’t be alone again, just like he was when Sam and John left him for Stanford and just another hunt. He can trust Castiel. Dean wipes over his face.
Castiel tightens the hug once more, before he steps back and glares at his older brother, who is still hiding behind Sam, who looks oddly pleased with the whole situation. Other-Dean seems much more happy as well.
“You are still an asshole.” Dean says to Gabriel, even though he is relieved that Gabriel saved Castiel life like this and also… opened a door for Dean.
“You are welcome, even though I did it for myself as well.” Gabriel says and Dean raises his eyebrows. Castiel looks equally confused, only Other-Dean is widely grinning now.
“What do you mean?” Dean asks, but while he is still talking, Gabriel already takes Sam’s hand in his and Dean feels as if he is going to faint. Sam at least has the decency to blush. Other-Dean is choking on his laughter.
“Dean uh… Gabriel and I are together for almost a year.” Sam admits, obviously embarrassed and Dean needs to sit down right now. Apparently Castiel can sense this and gets a chair from under the table. Dean sits and takes a deep breath.
“Surprise!” Gabriel says happily and Dean swears that one day he will punch this archangel. Boyfriend of his brother or not. Dean groans and Castiel stands behind, his hands on Dean’s shoulders and somehow that relaxes him a lot.
“He meant well.” Sam says and he looks down at Gabriel, who smiles even more at that. They look weirdly happy and Dean deflates even more. Sam deserves some happiness of his own of course and if that means Dean has to bear with the archangel, then he could do that.
“But if he ever hurts you…” Dean starts, but Gabriel is already grinning again.
“I could do the big brother speech as well, you know that right?” Gabriel asks and Dean blushes badly, only to look down at his shoes. God this is all really embarrassing and weird at the same time. Dean isn’t sure if he likes it.
“Shut up.” Dean mumbles and he can hear Castiel chuckle behind him. He is so glad that the angel is now with him again, his future-self doesn’t even look jealous at that. Dean is such an idiot.
“Thank you Gabriel, for saving my life.” Castiel says finally and Gabriel waves his hand.
“Did it for myself as well, if I had to listen to Sam whine for one more time that we can’t show how happy we are without making our brothers sad because we have what they don’t, I would’ve jumped out of a building.” Gabriel explains and Sam grins sheepishly. Dean’s hard gaze softens. Yeah that sounds like Sammy.
“Thank you.” Dean whispers as well and Gabriel nods at him. Seems like it’s a truce for now.
Gabriel leans up and Sam kisses him softly. Dean has to say that he needs time to get used to this picture, but Sam looks incredible happy, so he doesn’t say anything. Even though he kinda wants to tease them.
Dean looks up and Castiel, who is still behind him, looks down as well and they both start to smile without any reason. It’s not like they need one.
“So I think that’s my cue to leave, right Gabe?” Dean asks and he gets up from his seat. Gabriel nods, before he walks over to the end of the table as well. Dean is a bit surprised that now he has to leave that fast.
“Already?” Dean and nearly bites on his tongue, Other-Dean laughs.
“Yeah, pretty sure. Finally come to like me?” Other-Dean smirks again and Dean remembers why he hated him so much but then again, Dean wishes he could be as happy as his future looks like.
“Maybe.” Dean offers but crosses his arms. He can hear how everyone laughs in the room and hopes his blush doesn’t get worse. He probably fails.
“While I enjoyed my time here, I miss my future Cas and… I really want to meet my son.” Other-Dean says quietly and he smiles softly. Dean wishes he wouldn’t need to wait another ten years to have all this.
But alone knowing that he could have that, is enough.
“I’m sure they can’t wait to see you.” Castiel answers just as softly and Dean wonders, if Castiel would miss this future-self a lot. But maybe he would be happy with him for now as well. Dean still tries to get better. He wants to be better for Castiel.
“Okay any last words?” Gabriel asks and Other-Dean nods. He comes back over to them and Dean isn’t sure what to expect. He gets up from his seat and stands next to Castiel, one of his hands gripping the angel’s arm.
What if Other-Dean would take him away?
“I already asked him to come with me.” Other-Dean says quietly and Dean’s eyes widen, because he hadn’t thought that was a possibility. Maybe it isn’t and Other-Dean is just fucking with him again.
“I said no.” Castiel whispers back and Dean never felt so relieved. He loosens the grip on Castiel’s arms, but he still has the feeling he has to hold on. Other-Dean nods.
“I still want to say a proper goodbye.” Other-Dean smirks and Castiel seems to know what he means, at least he is also taking a step forward and puts his hands against Other-Dean’s cheeks. Other-Dean smiles and then closes his eyes.
Dean gasps and lets go of Castiel, when the angel leans forward and kisses his future-self. Other-Dean wimpers quietly, when Castiel’s hands wander of his face and one ends up in his hair.
Dean is sure that he dies, when Castiel tugs on his future-selves hair and Other-Dean moans a bit. Castiel uses that second to push his tongue inside Other-Dean’s mouth and Dean feels as if he is watching 4D-Porn.
Sam and Gabriel are talking, but Dean can’t look away. He hadn’t known the angel had it in him like that and when the kiss finally ends Other-Dean is breathing heavily and he looks … kinda fucked. The hair wild, green eyes a lot darker.
“What the fuck?” He gets out and Other-Dean laughs.
“You are impressed now? Wait ten years and then think about it again. Actually he learns pretty fast.” Other-Dean says then and Dean nods. He doesn’t have any experience in kissing or even having sex with a man, but now he can’t wait.
“I will.” Dean promises and his future-self licks his lips.
“Oh, there is one more thing. Sam look away if you don’t want to be scarred for the rest of your life.” Other-Dean says and Sam doesn’t even wait, he is already turning away from them. Even Gabriel isn’t watching them anymore.
Dean raises his eyebrows, because what the fuck is happening here?”
“I know you always wanted to know how we kiss, here is your chance.” Other-Dean says and before Dean can answer, he is already completely in his personal space. Dean glances to Castiel, but the angel looks very interested.
“Quite a big mouth for someone…” Dean starts but of course his future-self has the upper hand again and kisses Dean to make him shut up. Other-Dean kisses surprisingly soft, but then again Dean was never somehow who presses his lover against a wall.
But apparently Castiel is, Dean shudders.
Dean closes his eyes and focuses on the kiss. Other-Dean doesn’t take the control and Dean finds himself, wishing he would. Normally Dean does take the control, but right now he doesn’t want to.
He knows he doesn’t have to pretend anymore.
The kiss is still good, even though it’s not half as dirty as the one from Other-Dean and Castiel, but that would be weird anyway. Well weirder.
“And?” Other-Dean asks and he wipes his mouth. Dean shakes his head.
“Think we are not compatible.” Dean laughs and Other-Dean clasps his shoulder, nodding. Castiel looks even more ruffled than he did before and Dean is a bit proud that he can take such reactions out of his angel.
“Are you done?” Sam asks and he sounds a bit disgusted.
“Yeah all done. Come here, Sammy. Hug me good-bye.” Other-Dean says and holds his arms out. Sam doesn’t wait a second and hugs Other-Dean as tight as he can. Dean focuses back on Castiel next to him.
Castiel smiles at him, as if Dean hung the stars and finally something clicks loudly in Dean. As if something grows stronger and falls into place. Castiel shudders as well and Dean thinks back to the bond Castiel had always mentioned.
“Okay hold still now and tell your Castiel, he’s welcome.” Gabriel says and Other-Dean nods, before he stands right in front of Gabriel, who takes out his angel blade and then carves something into the wall.
“Pretty sure he already thanked you enough on your wedding.” Other-Dean says and Dean watches how Sam’s mouth falls open. Dean has to grin himself, because see Sam payback is a bitch.
Gabriel’s grace brightens the room and just like in the old house, a door appears in the wall. This time it’s a bright blue one and before it’s completely there, Other-Dean already has his hand on the doorknob.
With just another peace sign, he opens the door and just like that the light grows even brighter around them. Dean hisses and closes his eyes and even Castiel doesn’t seem too happy.
When Dean opens his eyes again, Other-Dean is gone.
“What an uncool leaving.” Dean mutters a bit embarrassed at the peace sign, while his brother still seems to be in some kind of shock. Gabriel next to him, looks angry.
“He spoiled the surprise.” Gabriel huffs, clearly sulking now, but Dean can’t help but laugh, because yeah that is so typically him. Sam puts an arm around Gabriel now and nods. They both whisper quietly together, Dean ignores them.
“Cas?” Dean asks and Castiel looks right at him. Dean stares back for a moment, he wants to say so much, but he doesn’t really know where to start. He can see now that Sam is getting Gabriel out of the war room.
Probably doing some very gross stuff, Dean doesn’t want to know about. But he also will congratulate them later, he is glad that Sam is finally being happy.
“Dean I’m so sorry.” Castiel says and Dean’s heart falls out of his chest directly onto the floor. He… but Castiel had flirted with his future-self so much and he seemed so happy and now he was sorry for it?
“Sorry?” Dean whispers back, all the happiness gone. He was so sure that he would finally get his happy ending. Castiel looks almost in pain and sits down on one of the chairs. Dean stands in front of him, like an idiot.
“I know you never wanted this and then some version Gabriel made up comes into this and changes everything. I really hope we can still be friends.” Castiel says and Dean feels as if somebody is pranking him.
Did Castiel understand nothing?
“Friends?” Dean asks back, still not really believing, what is going on here, but Castiel puts his face into his hands and he seems really upset. He takes a very shaky breath, before he looks up to Dean again.
“It’s just… I always waited for this. He was you and he looked at me as if I was something special and full of love. When I kissed him I forgot about the whole world and I wanted more, even though I was aware, you didn’t like this whole situation. I was so selfish.” Castiel says and he strokes through his hair, getting it even messier.
Dean opens his mouth and then thinks about this for a moment. This is what he was waiting for right? Castiel theoretically admitted his feelings with that, not that he was subtle with his kisses and all.
Dean knows he has to be brave.
“Cas I… of course I will always be your friend and I swear to you nothing will ever get between us. We are a team, but… I don’t think that is enough for me.” Dean says quietly, looking down at his own hands, too nervous, too shy.
Funny how he had always been able to flirt with every girl he wanted and now… he doesn’t get the words out like he wants.
“What do you mean?” Castiel asks and Dean sits sideways down on the chair next to Castiel, his knees almost touching Castiel’s. Both now directly facing each other, Dean smiles a tiny bit.
“Other-Dean was an asshole, but he was happy and I want to be happy as well. And I know that I could be happy with you. Heck, I’m already happy, when you are here.” Dean explains carefully, but Castiel finally understands.
“You mean it?” Castiel asks and there is so much hope in his blue eyes, that were so sad just a few minutes ago. Dean nods and Castiel holds his hand out, Dean takes it without any hesitation. Castiel’s hand so warm around his.
“I want it all. The… uhm relationship. The kisses, the house and… Liam.” Dean says and Castiel’s expression turns so incredible soft at the last word. Dean had never thought he would have the chance to have kids, but he would really love to.
“I will promise you the world.” Castiel says and Dean hopes he isn’t blushing again, because holy shit nobody ever said such romantic things to him and Dean isn’t sure how to handle it. Even though that doesn’t mean that he hates it.
“I’m fine with just having you.” Dean says and he at least tries to smirk, but then Castiel leans closer to him and Dean swallows dryly. He knows what is about to come and he can feel his heart racing.
“Dean.” Castiel whispers and Dean isn’t sure if that is a question or Castiel just saying his name, to get his attention. Either way Dean is already nodding, just as he can feels Castiel’s breath against his skin.
God he wants this so much.
Castiel closes his eyes first and Dean takes a second longer, too lost in Castiel’s beauty right in front of him, but the second Castiel’s lips touch his own, Dean’s eyes fall closed. Castiel kisses him carefully, almost shy.
Such a contrast to the kiss he shared with Other-Dean just minutes before, but Dean wouldn’t complain.
Castiel hums happily, turning his face a bit to the left and now pressing his lips more firmly on Dean’s mouth. Dean’s leg starts shaking a bit, but then Castiel buries one of his hands in Dean’s short hair, tugging a bit.
Dean gasps without realizing and Castiel uses that opportunity and licks into Dean’s mouth. Still shy, careful, but oh Dean feels like he just entered heaven. His own hands wandering to Castiel, grabbing his collar and pulling him closer.
“Don’t stop.” Dean mumbles, when Castiel breaks the kiss. This time Dean’s eyes stay closed for a second longer, while he licks his lips. Still tasting Castiel, still tingling just from that short contact.
When Dean does open his eyes, Castiel’s blue eyes are wide, a shade darker but still stunning. Dean tilts his head, when he feels something in his chest. As if something is tugging on his heart. Castiel gasps.
“The bond, it’s finally in place.” Castiel grins widely and Dean, shuts him up for now. With another kiss.
“I wanted to leave you.” Castiel says hours later, when they are in Dean’s bedroom, both sitting on the bed, just watching each other. Dean had spent his fair share of staring into Castiel’s eyes but now he can do it without feeling guilty.
“What do you mean?” Dean asks back and Castiel sighs.
“Future-Dean asked me to come with him. I wanted to.” Castiel admits and Dean nods. He had already thought so much. Other-Dean had always given Castiel what he wanted and Dean hopes he can do that now as well.
“But you didn’t.” Dean says, holding his hand out, Castiel takes it into his. Their legs are touching as well, but Dean thinks he needs way more touching for this.
“I couldn’t, you looked heartbroken, when Future-Dean said it.” Castiel says, leaning against Dean, who puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder now. He feels a bit tired now, but at the same time he is too giddy because of all of this.
“I’m so glad you are still here.” Dean mumbles and Castiel strokes over his hair. Dean snuggles a bit more against him, since nobody is there to see it anyway. Besides Castiel and he wouldn’t tattle on Dean like that.
“Me too. I thought you would kick me out, that I would never see you or Sam again.” Castiel says and Dean squeezes his hand a bit more. He hates himself for it, to let Castiel believe things like that.
“I’m sorry.” Dean whispers back and he hopes that Castiel understands that he means so much more than just this. Castiel nudges him until, Dean looks up and kisses him again, seems like they both can’t get enough.
“Come here.” Castiel says and Dean rolls onto his side, that doesn’t seem to be enough for Castiel, because he nudges Dean until he is lying completely on Castiel. Chest to chest and Dean blushes, he is so close now.
“I’m sorry it took my evil future-self to get me see how perfect you are.” Dean says, his nose almost touching Castiel’s and he smiles, blushing furiously. Dean never had this, while he was in a relationship with Lisa, he never felt this… nervous.
Not a bad kind of nervous, but his nerves are in flames.
Castiel puts his arms around Dean, carefully stroking his back and Dean almost purrs at that. God he was so jealous of Other-Dean and now he knows that feeling was with reason. It’s amazing to be held.
To be held by Cas.
“He wasn’t evil.” Castiel chuckles and one hand, now strokes Dean’s hair out of his face. Dean shrugs a bit, because he was kinda hating him, but he knows that Castiel is right.
“But annoying.” Dean whispers, Castiel kisses him quiet and for a moment Dean forgets all about their conversation. Castiel hums again and Dean gasps, fuck his boyfriend is definitely the best kisser.
“Not more annoying than you are.” Castiel chuckles, when he breaks the kiss and Dean huffs. Rude.
“I hate you.” Dean mumbles, but Castiel just laughs harder, his eyes crinkling beautifully and Dean can’t stay angry with him. Just as he wants to open his mouth, one of Castiel’s hands wanders down to his ass and clasps him there.
Dean gasps louder than he wants to, while Castiel’s eyes widen.
For five seconds they both just stare at each other, before Castiel’s bucks his hips a bit up, Dean gasps again, this time mostly on purpose and Castiel actually smirks up at him. Dean frowns, it looks so weird on Castiel’s face.
Castiel doesn’t say anything, instead he just kisses Dean again, only this time the kiss isn’t as slow as the other ones, this time Castiel actually kisses him so dirty, Dean groans against his lips. Fuck.
Dean is already so lost in the kiss, that at first he doesn’t even realize that Castiel is rubbing himself against Dean’s thigh.
“Cas.” Dean says, maybe whines, and he isn’t sure what he even wants to say. Castiel shushes him and there is so much love in those blue eyes, that Dean feels himself nodding to a question Castiel doesn’t even have to ask.
“I got you.” Castiel promises and Dean nods that again, because he knows Castiel will be there. He will always be there, he will protect him, just like Dean will protect him. Dean relaxes a bit, he hadn’t realized how tense he had become.
“Come on.” Dean says, rutting against Castiel’s thigh himself now. He feels himself harden quicker than he thought he would, but alone the thought of getting his hands on Castiel, makes him half-hard.
“What do you want Dean?” Castiel asks, his voice even more deep than usual and Dean shudders visible. There are so many things he wants, but he knows that they have time. A long life together. For at least another ten years.
“Fuck me.” Dean says and holy shit. He just did that. Dean had a lot of sex in all of his life, but never with a man and even if he did think about it, he would be the one doing all the fucking. Dean swallows.
He is a man of secrets, had always been and everyone knows that. He had lied so much to his brother, to Cas, even to his dad sometimes, just to hide some secrets.
Being in love with an angel and his best friend, is one of his biggest secrets. Now that it finally got out, Dean feels as if he can let go of even more secrets, without being afraid to be pushed away.
There were days, where he did imagine Castiel fucking him against the shower wall or bending him over the desk. Dean had sworn to himself, to take those thoughts to the grave with him.
But maybe… he could have all that.
“No.” Castiel mutters and Dean stops in his movement, his cheeks blushing furiously now.
“Oh uhm…” Dean stutters out and he even gets up on his arms, to get a bit away from Castiel. Maybe the angel wasn’t into sex and they both would never cross that line. Dean swallows and nods. That would be fine, too.
Before Dean can do anything else, Castiel turns them in one swift-flowing move, that Dean is actually jealous of. Dean is on his back now, Castiel on top of him, grinning so dirty, that Dean is speechless.
“I will make love to you.” Castiel whispers and Dean does that full body shudder again. He had always been sensitive, but this takes it to a whole new level. Castiel smirks only more, apparently understanding exactly what he does to Dean.
“Y-yeah, okay.” Dean hears himself saying. He is a bit nervous, since he never thought this would happen. While he did pleasure himself before, he never had sex with a man before and it makes him nervous.
“I promise to take care of you, Dean. Just say the word and I’ll stop.” Castiel whispers and then he is kissing Dean again. The kisses start slow and Dean feels himself relax further into the pillows. He knows he can trust the angel.
Castiel breaks the kiss again, now pressing a few quick kisses to Dean’s cheek, before he nibbles on Dean’s ear. Dean gasps again, because why does the angel know exactly what he likes.
“Can I persuade you into taking off your shirt?” Castiel asks then and he sits back. Dean is a bit surprised at that, because now Castiel sits with his ass directly on Dean’s dick and fuck that feels good.
“Uh… sure.” Dean says and Castiel nods. Before Dean can even sit up himself just a little bit, Castiel snaps his fingers. Dean’s eyes widen when he sees the trenchcoat, Castiel’s suit jacket and also his shirt on the cupboard next to them.
“Sorry.” Castiel says sheepishly, while Dean is still staring at the angel’s chest. Fuck, no he isn’t so sure, he should take off his shirt at all. Castiel looks so strong and his tummy is so flat. Dean pouts.
“Why are you hiding this body under that ugly trench coat?” Dean asks and Castiel laughs. He leans down, kissing Dean again and he even bites into Dean’s under lip. Dean whines.
“Well only very special people are allowed to see.” Castiel whispers and Dean has to grin himself. Seems like he is very special, that helps him actually a lot and when Castiel sits back down, Dean tries to get rid of his flannel.
“Some help?” Dean asks, pouting up against Castiel again and the angel laughs, before helping him. While Dean thought he would use his mojo here again, Castiel slowly undresses him with his hands. Pressing a kiss to Dean’s shoulder, then his collarbones and finally right onto his chest.
“Much more fun this way.” Castiel explains as if he can feel what Dean is thinking and maybe he can. Dean smiles a bit, something tickling inside his head and maybe that is the bond between them.
“Gonna take all night like this.” Dean chuckles and he strokes through Castiel's thick hair, while the angel continues to pepper his chest with wet kisses. Dean sighs happily, just then Castiel licks a hot stripe over his left nipple.
“Ah fuck.” Dean says, because seems like Castiel really knows how to push his buttons. Castiel chuckles before he takes the nipple in his mouth again, his other hand finding the abandoned nipple, twirling it.
“You really like that huh.” Castiel whispers and Dean doesn’t think he needs to say anything to that. He just moans a bit louder, because it feels so good. Just as he thinks he gets used to the feeling, Castiel kisses lower, directly over his belly button.
“Cas.” Dean says again, feeling already out of breath.
“Right here.” Castiel promises, kissing even lower. Dean wiggles a bit under him and Castiel chuckles again. Seems like the angel really enjoys having the upper hand, Dean finds himself not minding at all.
When Castiel stops, Dean opens his eyes again, he hadn’t even realized that he had closed them, to see that Castiel opens his own jeans. Honestly Dean thinks seeing the angel opening his belt, is one of the hottest things he has ever seen.
When he throws the belt on the ground and has the jeans open, he gets up again, leaving the bed altogether, to get rid of his jeans. Dean swallows dryly at that, because he knows he will see Castiel naked now for the first time.
“Enjoying the show?” Castiel asks, feeling Dean’s dark green eyes on him. Dean nods, before he licks his lips.
“Yeah strip for me.” Dean chuckles and to his surprise, Castiel doesn’t need any other words, before he lets the jeans fall to the ground. Dean wants to laugh at the unsexy plain white briefs, but he feels just so happy.
Castiel comes closer again and Dean gets the hint, so he opens his own jeans. Castiel helps him out of them, throwing the fabric to the ground as well. Dean can see how hard Castiel already is and he holds his hands out.
“Come here.” Dean whispers and Castiel nods, laying back down on Dean again. The weight on top of him anchors Dean a bit and he doesn’t feel too overwhelmed. They spend a few minutes kissing, before Castiel slips a hand into Dean’s boxershorts.
“Dean.” Castiel says and Dean groans, when Castiel’s hand finally touches his dick. Castiel jerks him off slowly and Dean wiggles under him. It feels just so good and only at the wet sound, Dean realizes that apparently Castiel mojoed some lube for them.
“I w-wanna touch you too.” Dean stutters out between Castiel’s strokes. Castiel chuckles, rubbing his thumb over the head of his cock and Dean is for five seconds afraid that he will come just like that.
“Then touch me Dean, I’m all yours.” Castiel says and just like that both of their underwear is gone. Dean is surprised at that, but he gasps, when he sees that Castiel’s cock is hard, against his stomach, the tip already leaking.
“Oh fuck.” Dean says, because how the fuck will that thing fit into him? Dean had already problems getting more than two fingers inside of himself. Castiel smiles softly at him, rubbing his cock directly over his own hand and Dean’s dick at the same time.
“You feel so good, Dean.” Castiel says quietly, while he puts his hand away from Dean’s cock. Dean would whine at the loss, but now Castiel puts his hands on the bed, besides Dean’s head and moves his hips faster.
Dean doesn’t think there is a better feeling than Castiel’s cock rubbing over his own.
“More.” Dean says, trying to sound commanding, but somehow he sounds more like he begs for Castiel to finally fuck him. Dean doesn’t even mind at this point. Castiel’s skin is so warm and he is so hard, against him.
“Anything you want, Baby.” Castiel says, kissing Dean’s hot cheek again. Dean moans louder at the pet name but also because Castiel is so careful with him. As if Dean is something precious.
Dean had never felt like this before.
“Then… make love to me, Cas. Show me… what that means.” Dean begs and Castiel’s blue eyes widen. This time Dean is almost prepared for Castiel to distance himself again. That doesn’t mean he actually likes it.
It’s a weird feeling, when Castiel turns him around on his stomach and grabs his ass again. Dean waggles it a bit, even though he is still so nervous, he really wants to feel Castiel for real now.
Castiel takes his sweet time and he prepares Dean so careful, that Dean almost bites into the pillow in front of his face. Castiel’s fingers are a lot thicker than his own and Dean feels himself moaning at just two.
He has no idea, how the fuck Castiel thinks he could fit in there.
“Being so good for me.” Castiel whispers, making Dean shudder again. At three fingers, Dean feels like he is flying and just then Castiel finally touches his prostate. Dean jumps a bit.
“Right there.” He whines pitifully into the pillows and indeed Castiel presses a few more times on it, just to see Dean struggle under him. Dean feels already so full, but also so loved that he is floating.
“You think you’re ready for me?” Castiel whispers and when he pulls his fingers out of Dean’s gaping hole, Dean whines again. The loss seems almost unbearable, but then Castiel turns him around again.
“Please Cas, I need you.” Dean says and Castiel’s eyes turn even darker at the words. Dean thinks they both know now what the words actually mean. What they always meant. Castiel kisses him slowly.
“I love you.” Castiel answers and Dean’s whole soul is shaking from all the love he is receiving. He never got so much love in all his life together and now he gets it in just one day. He is so lucky.
Castiel opens his mouth, deepening the kiss and Dean hums, when he feels Castiel’s cock directly against his hole. He wiggles again, hoping that Castiel finally gets the hint, only to hiss in pain, when Castiel finally presses in.
“Oh fuck, ouch!” Dean says, but he tries to focus back on Castiel’s mouth that presses apologetic kisses on Dean’s neck again. Even sucking on the skin, turning it almost purple. Dean hopes the mark stays.
Castiel presses two fingers to Dean’s forehead and just like that the pain is gone, Dean can enjoy the feeling of Castiel in him now and he moans again. Castiel is so damn big.
“So good for me.” Castiel whispers, when he bottoms out. Dean can feel him, pressed against his ass and then Castiel gets an arm under one of Dean’s legs and then he finally moves for real.
Dean sees stars and throws his head back at that, arching his back.
“Please Cas.” He whimpers and Castiel fucks him again. And again. Dean isn’t sure what is happening, but somehow he can feel whatever Castiel is feeling, too. It feels as if their souls are one.
“Dean, Dean I love you so much.” Castiel says and Dean nods, feeling not good enough to get any words out. He just lets himself be fucked, lets himself be loved. While Castiel’s thrusts are deep, he fucks him slowly.
Enjoying it too much. Dean is sure that he will die like this.
“Touch yourself, baby. Show me how much you love it.” Castiel says and it takes Dean a moment to understand that he is telling him to do something. Dean’s cock is still standing up proudly and Dean hisses when he curls his hand around it.
“N-not gonna last.” Dean says, when he moves his hand in the same rhythm that Castiel is still fucking him. It all feels too good and when Dean looks up at his angel, he swears he can see a halo.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m close too, you’re so tight.” Castiel says and fucks a bit faster into him. Dean moans at every thrust now, because Castiel had found his prostate again, pushing his cock against it every time.
Just as Dean thinks he is about to come, he strokes himself faster and opens his eyes. Castiel is watching him, almost looking out of breath, but there is a smile on his face as well. Dean smiles back.
“I love you.” Dean whispers and that is what sets Castiel off. He moans Dean’s name and then Dean can feel him coming deep inside him. Dean moves his hips a bit to get Castiel through his orgasm, just to come a second later over his own hand.
It had felt too good.
“Dean.” Castiel mumbles, now letting Dean’s leg back down and lying down on his chest, not one muscle tense anymore. Dean breaths harshly himself, feeling Castiel’s softening cock in him.
“Dean?” Castiel asks again, when Dean doesn’t answer and he looks afraid when he sits up just a bit, leaning over Dean still. His cock slipping out of Dean and that’s when Dean tears up incredible fast.
“Did I hurt you?” Castiel asks, when the first tear rolls out of Dean’s eyes. Dean sobs loudly, but shakes his head, trying to get Castiel down on him again. Castiel does so and kisses Dean’s tears away.
“I’m okay.” Dean whispers, still so overwhelmed by all of this. Castiel seems relieved, but he still cuddles Dean a bit more. Dean hides his face, pressing kisses to Castiel’s skin.
“Do you… it’s okay if you don’t mean it.” Castiel whispers, while he plays with Dean’s fingers. Dean shakes his head hastily.
“No, I meant it. I love you Cas. I… I’m just so happy right now that I can’t believe it.” Dean whispers and Castiel chuckles. He snaps his fingers again and suddenly they are both cleaned up and under a thick blanket.
Dean feels incredible sleepy now.
“I will spend the rest of our days making you happy.” Castiel whispers and Dean believes him. It’s okay now. He has his angel and his angel has him, and they would be both okay. Dean cuddles against Castiel and closes his eyes.
Yeah maybe his future-self wasn’t so wrong about this.
Ten years later
Dean opens his eyes and blinks up at the ceiling. He can feel that somebody is holding his hand and he prays that it’s Castiel and not his worried brother. Nothing against Sammy, but he hopes it all worked out.
Dean looks to his right and there sits the former angel. Dean smiles.
“It worked.” He whispers happily and then Castiel is already there, kissing Dean. Just like he always used to.
“I told you, it would work out.” Castiel whispers back, carefully stroking over Dean’s hair. Dean hums and then rubs over his eyes. Urgh. Time travels are so exhausting, he feels as if he could sleep for a thousand years.
“He was a bit of a pain in the ass.” Dean says and Castiel laughs, yeah he remembers exactly how Past-Dean was fighting his feelings, Castiel is just glad that he finally accepted them and their soul bonded for real.
“You are always a pain in the ass though.” Castiel says and Dean slaps his fiancé on the chest. Castiel laughs loudly, taking Dean’s hand in his and then he puts Dean’s ring back on his finger, before kissing it.
“I love you.” Dean whispers, getting emotional again. Castiel smiles back happily and then whispers his own confession back at him. Dean closes his eyes again, when he lays back down.
“You didn’t tell them everything.” Castiel notes then and Dean shakes his head. He didn’t want to spoil anything and Castiel can understand him.
“Nah, they can find it out themselves. Told them about the marriage and our son, but you being human… I think that would’ve just hurt Past-Dean.” Dean says and Castiel nods. There wasn’t one day he regretted giving up his powers, to be fully with Dean.
“I love you more than anything.” Castiel says stroking over Dean’s hair again, while Dean closes his eyes, he is happy now that he knows everything is still fine.
“I know.” Dean answers sleepily. And he really does know, just like Castiel knows how much Dean loves him. It took them a long way and even some time travel, but while Castiel is now human as well, they are just stronger than before.
Castiel didn’t want to lose Dean one day and stay alone for hundreds of years and Dean can understand him. He doesn’t feel guilty, that Castiel cut out his grace, that is now flashing through Dean’s wedding ring.
No, they had worked so long on their relationship, that they are a good team. They talk about things that depress them and they help each other in every way. Yeah, Dean is living the best life now.
“You are also a pain in the ass, you know that?” Dean chuckles and Castiel rolls his eyes, before he kisses him quiet.
Well, some things would never change.