The Almighty Jung Wooyoung. Who doesn't w̶o̶r̶s̶h̶i̶p̶ adore and like him? One of main dancers in the group with his outstanding charm and beauty. Don't forget his sexiness and his ability to flirt. Everyone could get whipped for him. And besides, his duality is being cute and affectionate. He is actually a clingy person who likes cuddles and small smooches.
Wooyoung could be said as the most bubbly member of the group. He is a really bright person, kind-hearted towards the other members and the fans. He always shows his wide grin whenever wherever he is. He laughs the loudest, with his authentic high pitched screams that can also bring laughter to other people. He radiates a happiness energy. Although sometimes new fans freak out of his duality to being sexy and flirty on stage, there are no people complaining about it (instead they go crazy of it.)
Wooyoung is actually a really good person. He never gets mad nor annoyed at the members (because he is sometimes the one who annoy the shit out of them). He knows they are just joking around, it would be awkward if he takes it seriously and intensifies the atmosphere, that would be weird, right? And he gets along with them really well, including the hyung line. It's so comfortable when all are getting along with you.
Except this one member, which Wooyoung still doesn't understand.
"San! What are you waiting for? Get in!" Shouted Mingi who is already inside the van.
San, who is still outside seems refuse to get in. "I will just go with manager hyung, seems like he needs some help. You guys go ahead."
With a slight hesitation, Mingi decides to just close the van door after saying, "uuhh alright if you say so. Be careful, you guys." And the van starts moving when Mingi goes back to his previous seat, next to Jongho and asks the driver to drive them nack to the dorm. He gives a slight glance towards Wooyoung, who is suddenly silent and lowering his head.
San is avoiding him again.
Wooyoung used to talk with San. A lot. Especially when they were still trainees and they did a dance cover mission as a duo, they both had a hard time yet they still got each other's back and kept supporting each other even after succeeding their mission. Even when they debuted.
But since then, months after debuting, San is noticably becoming distant. He is still him on stage and off stage, but not anymore when he is with Wooyoung. The person becomes so much colder everytime Wooyoung talks to him, ignoring him and acting like Wooyoung isn't there. At first Wooyoung thought maybe he was just stressed out and didn't want to talk about it, but he was shocked when he saw the 3rd 99 liner was laughing with Yunho and Jongho. San is just being the goofy San with the members, which doesn't make sense. Is he cold just towards Wooyoung?
And it didn't last only for days, it has been weeks and San still acts the same. It saddens Wooyoung more and more, when he truly has no idea what he did to San. What he did to make the other hate him or mad at him.
Wooyoung snaps out of thoughts realizing he is in front of the fans now. In a freaking fanmeeting. And all the eyes are on him, waiting for the last words he is going to say before the ending of the event. Even the members eyes are on him, some of them howing unreadable expressions which makes him a little bit more nervous.
"Is there something you want to say?" Asks Hongjoong, the leader. He knows Wooyoung is the only member who hasn't said his closing before the leader.
"Ah umm.. yeah, I would like to say thank you everyone for coming today we really appreciate it, and I hope you guys enjoy being with us until now. Please keep supporting us and stay by our side until the end. Fighting!"
Wooyoung ends it with a wide smile and a wink on his right eye which drives the fans wild immediately. He laughs at the cute reaction he gets and bows his head once more before letting the leader taking his turn as the last.
His eyes start wandering when he has nothing to do, until they land on the figure he expects the least to look at him. It's San, who immediately turns his face away from Wooyoung so his hair is facing him.
Wooyoung lets out a sigh before feeling a hand touching his shoulder. "Hey, you alright?"
It is Yeosang, his closest friend which he has been friends with, for longer than any other members. Yeosang is a quiet person but Wooyoung knows him really well. When he says that, Wooyoung knows the other says it genuinely.
"I am fine," Wooyoung replies with a smile, an assuring smile. "Thanks Yeosang."
"Alright, that's it for today. Good job everyone!"
Says the choreographer to end the final dance practice. The members take a bow until he leaves the room, before collapsing on the floor groaning in their exhaustment. Seonghwa brought some mineral water he bought before the practice schedule, getting many "thank you hyung" from the rest, even San.
This time it's Wooyoung being quiet, losing himself in his deep thoughts most of times. Yeosang and Hongjoong notice his unusual behavior. It's not a normal thing, when the usual moodmaker of the group becomes silent today. Something must happened.
Wooyoung halts his feet when he hears Hongjoong's voice from behind him. He was walking out of the practice room to get his phone. He turns around to see the leader leaning his back on the wall, with his arms crossed, face turning to the younger with a calm yet serious expression.
"You seem more quiet today. Something happened?"
At this point Wooyoung has no idea what to say. He wants to deny and say that everything is okay. He wants to tell the older not to worry about him. He doesn't want to bother his members, especially when they are busy with schedules and exhausting events. He doesn't want to make their lives more difficult. He doesn't want to be a burden. He-
"If there is something bothering you, please don't ever hesitate to tell me. I will always be here to help you." Says Hongjoong when he already approaches the figure and pats the shoulder with a smile."The members are worried. Both about you and San."
Wooyoung lands his gaze to the leader's eyes. They are full of sincerity, which causes Wooyoung to even feel more guilty. They don't have to do it, but they still do. Wooyoung has no choice but to put a smile on his lips before saying, "thank you, hyung. You are the best."
Wooyoung holds his breath when he tries his best to shut the door as quiet as he can. It's already past midnight and maybe everyone is already asleep at this hour. Wooyoung can't even rest his eyes so he needs to do something that could maybe make him tired a bit. So now, he is quietly trying to escape from his and Yeosang's bedroom to go out of the dorm without the members knowing.
After going out successfully, he decides to just go to the dance practice room. Maybe by dancing he could drain his energy a little. And he likes dancing, so why not?
Why not? Because turns out, the lamp of the room is on. Is someone there? Or someone at last forgot to turn off the lamp before leaving the room? Is it the manager? Wooyoung gulps at the thought, afraid of getting caught in an act. He will surely get scolded if the manager really finds out.
But a faint thud stops his thoughts. He also hears a loud groan from inside the room which sounds familiar. Wait, it sounds like-
Hearing no response for seconds, Wooyoung opens the door to see a familiar figure in black tanktop and grey sweatpants lying on his chest to the ground. Turns out it was really San. "Why are you here?"
The latter slowly turns his body around with a low grunt and finally responded, "same question goes to you. Why are you here?"
Wooyoung closes the door before approaching the other and sits next to him. "I can't sleep."
It is true. He really can't sleep when he has many thoughts inside his mind. He can't sleep when he has worries, concerns, anxiety, insecurity and paranoia in him. It truly bothers him and makes him peaceless. Especially, when the one he is thinking about is...
...next to him.
Wooyoung sees the other getting up and adjusting his sitting position. "I can't either."
Wooyoung feels the atmosphere getting heavier, and none of them are gonna help it. He is hugely nervous at some point. He is anxious of what will San do or say to him. Will he ignore him again? Should Wooyoung ask him why? Can he speak to him right now? Will it make him leave? Or is he going to snap at him now?
But, he had to. No matter what will happen.
He hears no response but he knows the other is turning his head to him. Wooyoung admit he is a coward enough for not being able to face San, he is too scared to look at him in the eyes. But he is gonna say it.
"Do you hate me?"
Another silence passes by and Wooyoung can't bear it. His heart thumps faster than it should Wooyoung almost wants to breakdown. He is emotionally hurt, and after hiding it for how many times, he finally gives in. It's frustrating when someone who used to be so close to you gets distant and acts like you don't exist anymore, and you have no idea why. That's what Wooyoung has been feeling.
He is so dejected.
"Then?" Finally Wooyoung has the courage to look up and stare at the other now. "Are you mad at me? D-did I do something wrong? Is because of the prank I ever did to you?"
Wooyoung knows he isn't gonna get the answer that easily. Of course he has to find it by yourself, he has to self-reflect what he really did to piss the other off. It's his mistake, why he sounds like demanding to get the answer? He thought to himself not to be a jerk.
But he it has been weeks and Wooyoung still has no fucking idea what he has done bad towards San. Has he offended him? No. Has he bullied him? Of course not, he isn't the type to make fun of someone. Has he lied to him? Umm, yes he has but it's not a big deal! It's just him hiding his mental-breakdown from the slight older until he was found out crying in a toilet. San wasn't mad at him at that time, instead he gave the best comfort Wooyoung has ever got. What else?
Wooyoung is so desperated.
"No, it's not."
"Then why" Wooyoung raises his voice slightly. "Why are you doing this? What is wrong with you? Why are you avoiding me? You said that I didn't do anything wrong but you kept ignoring me for unknown reason. You act like I don't fucking exist anymore, and I'm sick of it!"
He doesn't meant to be snapping like that he can't help it. His breathing already gets shorter and he feels the air getting hotter. It's hot that it gets his eyes teary. No, he shouldn't be crying. But his body is already shaking slightly, making the tears flown down through his cheeks. "I have tried my best to find my mistakes, to self-reflect but it's no use. It saddens me more and more everytime you talk to the members but me..."
It's too late for Wooyoung to hold back his tears as he is already sobbing. San is still mute and Wooyoung is sure the other is not going to give him any answer. He is probably being ignored again.
Wooyoung doesn't want to waste any more time there so he decides to stand up to take his leave. The pain is unbearable everytime he sees San. But at the same time, he wants to see San again. He wants to see San like back then.
He wipes his pooled tears away and takes the last look at the figure, who is now lowering his head which Wooyoung can't see his face clearly. He slowly takes his leave after saying in a broken voice, "I miss you, idiot."
The called person turns around only to find the one calling him is behind him. It's his roomate, Yeosang. "Geez, you scared the shit out of me!"
Usually the roomate would laugh it off, but he doesn't. And judging by the face, he seems not in a mood to joke around. "Look at your eyes, they are swollen. Did you get some sleep?"
"Oh? Umm.. yeah? Are they obvious?" He would be lying if he says he isn't panicking. He curses internally at himself for being stupid crying at 1AM for who knows how long. He already hoped no one would hear his crying until this, when Yeosang caught him in his red eyes. He would suspect him and things will get longer.
"Or... did you cry last night?"
Ah fuck. Here it comes.
"Be honest to me."
Wooyoung drops both his hands slowly. You know how hard it is trying to hide everything from your best friend. No matter what you do, how many times you try, they will find out. There is no way out. And it goes to Yeosang. He is already staring at Wooyoung with his unreadable expression.
Wooyoung finally gives up with an apologize,"I'm sorry."
"No, don't say sorry it's not your fault." Yeosang says with a soothing voice as he hugs the other. "You should've woken me up last night."
"I don't want to bother you..." Wooyoung says, feeling pats on his back. "You slept so peacefully and I don't want you to be tired because of me."
"San, may I talk to you for a while?"
Everything goes silent immediately. All the eyes are on the one being mentioned. San, who is talking with Yunho drops the conversation with no hesitation and approaches the leader as well. The leader leads the way to his own bedroom which he shares with Seonghwa. San already predicts what they are going to talk about.
And he is right. "You know, we all slowly notice this unusual behaviour of you. Do you mind to talk about it?"
San who just sits on the lower bunk bed sighs deeply. Hongjoong waits patiently on his chair, knowing that it's not easy to share personal problems to someone. He really understands that. At least he tries to.
That is an unexpected answer, Hongjoong thought. Why is San really acting like this all of sudden? No wonder Wooyoung is like a depressed 8-year-old kid being left by his friend for unknown reason. It makes him really curious.
"Okay, maybe you are not ready yet to open up but you know..." Hongjoong pushes the chair forward so he approaches the one in front of him. "If you keep acting like this, it won't solve the problem no matter what it is. Okay it may be a privacy but we are a team, San. One member can affect the whole team. It's okay, I won't judge you if you tell me. I'm glad instead, that I could be able to help you. I hope you understand."
San lowers his head, feeling his shoulder geting patted by the leader. No wonder Hongjoong is the leader of the group, he is a really sincere person when it comes to his members. He would literally do anything to solve a problem among them. San is somehow touched by the effort, even he has pushed him away indirectly for some times.
Hongjoong's eyes light up when San starts speaking. He didn't expect the younger to start opening up so soon. Maybe he changed his mind.
"I-it's so hard to explain, hyung."
Hongjoong nods his head in understanding. There are people who are bad at expressing themselves with words, and San is one of them. Then he will just ask some questions and it will be faster and less complicated.
"Alright, I will just get to the point. Is it about Wooyoung?"
San looks up right when he hears the name of the person he has been trying to avoid. So it's that obvious, huh? San who has been trying to hide this suddenly feels so stupid.
San nods his head, admitting his own commitment.
"Did you guys fight last night or something?"
Fight? No, it's just San himself. Yeah it's just San being an asshole. San shakes his head rapidly. Wooyoung is a good person. Too good for San that he has to stay away from him.
Hongjoong raises his eyebrow in bewilderment. "Then? Why are you mad at him?"
Mad? Do they really think that San is mad at Wooyoung? San thinks this is a misunderstanding. Who could be mad at Wooyoung? Who could be mad at an angel like him? He deserves nothing but love and happiness. San chokes on his own saliva at the thought.
San is about to answer but Hongjoong beats him to it. "I know you both cried back then. Don't think I didn't notice it." He snaps that it gets San a little bit intimidated.
"I-I'm not mad at him."
Minutes pass by in silence as Hongjoong becomes pensive in his thoughts. He seems trying to find a clue what it is about. San is already dying drowning in the deep silence between them, trying to find a way out. It feels like forever. Maybe it's just his time to explain everything for real.
All the members arrive into the dorm after a long tiring day, exhaust filling up the air. Some of them groan and collapse on the couches, some also decide to take a shower, and the rest go to each their bedrooms to do their things while waiting for their turn.
Wooyoung who just finishes taking a shower immediately goes to the kitchen to see what the oldest member is cooking. (It smells so good that it pulls Wooyoung from his bedroom, so he ends up there.)
But there is not only Seonghwa, but also the leader and the youngest member, Jongho, talking about something Wooyoung can't clearly hear. Their face seem serious, which makes him even more curious. Wooyoung hasn't said anything but he thinks Jongho notices his presence, dropping the conversation right away.
"Oh hey, hyung. Ssup?"
"What were you guys talking about?" Asks Wooyoung as he approaches the three and puts his chin on the youngest's shoulder to take a peek at the food in the pot comfortably. "Is the food ready yet? I'm hungry."
Seonghwa calmly gives an answer but only for the second question. "It's almost done. Tell the members to prepare for the plates and chopsticks."
Wooyoung nods and leaves the room without further questions, not noticing the leader who has been freezing in his spot. Wooyoung is going to gather the members, and of course he is going to notice that San is missing. That boy told Hongjoong that he wanted to go outside for a walk, to refresh his mind.
Seeing how fucked up San is now makes Hongjoong couldn't say no. He knows the boy has been stressed for handling things by himself before.
Wooyoung counts the members by the heads and just realizes that there are only seven and the only one missing is San. He feels a pang in his heart at the name lingering in his head. The person hasn't changed ever since he confessed (even cried in front of him) and it makes Wooyoung want to breakdown again. He truly misses San, although he has been near him all the time.
Is he really avoiding him that much? Why it has to be this complicated? Wooyoung sighs deeply.
After making sure that the person really isn't at the dorm, he decides to find him by himself. He is going to talk to him for the second time, or maybe the last time. Hopefully he will listen this time. He will listen to everything from Wooyoung's heart.
With his pajamas he walks out of the dorm, not caring about what people would say. He just wants to scream and cry his eyes out in front of San, wanting the other to know how complicated he makes everything become. They will talk it out.
Turns out San is not far from the dorm thankfully. He is found alone walking slowly and kicking a trash can at the same time with his head hung low. He seems in his deep thoughts that he doesn't notice the younger coming at him.
San immediately looks up and stops his legs. It's Wooyoung again, and that boy seems more furious than last time. "What are you doing here alone at this hour? Let's go back home, the dinner is ready and the members are waiting-"
"You can go." San gently snatches off Wooyoung's hand which is grabbing his arm. "I'm not hungry yet, just go ahead. I will eat later."
Hearing the answer makes Wooyoung slowly loses his temper. Does he really get what he said last time?! "San, stop being like this. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?! You suddenly started acting weird from weeks ago and I still have no goddamn idea! Please just tell me the answer to make it easier, I will fix that shit and sort things out and it's done! Is it really that hard for you to understand-"
Wooyoung's words are cut off by San by being grabbed tightly in the collar. "YES, IT'S THAT FUCKING HARD! IT'S FUCKING HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON INSIDE MY HEAD WHEN ALL THE SHIT INSIDE IS ABOUT YOU!"
It's the first time in a while San really looks at Wooyung right in the eyes, and his yelling right in front of the younger's face. Wooyoung is really taken aback, cause he didn't expect his reaction will be like this. He is frightened.
"I CAN BARELY SLEEP BECAUSE OF IT AND IT REALLY FRUSTRATES ME ALL THE TIME! THE IMAGE OF YOUR EYES, YOUR SMILE, YOUR LAUGH, FUCKING EVERYTHING GODDAMNIT! IT'S EVEN HARDER EVERYTIME I LOOK AT YOU AND TALK TO YOU! IT MAKES ME NERVOUS AND ANXIOUS AND IT TRULY STRESSES MY OUT THAT SOMETIMES DANCING CAN'T EVEN OCCUR!"
Wooyoung feels the grip is slowly shaking, but its tightness doesn't change. He really stones himself due to the shock, and his voice gets stuck in his throat at the sudden.
"I HATE THIS SHITTY FEELING INSIDE MY CHEST! IT FUCKS ME UP EVERYTIME I SEE YOU HAVING FUN WITH THE OTHERS AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! I FEEL SO GODDAMN SELFISH FOR THINKING TO HAVE YOU AND SUCH AND GUESS HOW FUCKING GUILTY I FEEL! THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO AVOID YOU FOR GOOD! FOR MY OWN GOOD AND YOUR GOOD ALSO!"
Wooyoung sees sparkles of sadness and regret flashing in San's eyes before the other lowering his head and loosening the grip, body trembling holding back his sobs.
"Fuck, I'm sorry..."
San ends up crying, giving up his mask of emotions and bursting out everything he has been hiding. He had been struggling alone without anyone's knowing and it's so crazy. He doesn't care anymore what will happen, he is tired and so done with this shit. He doesn't want to do this anymore.
But he realizes he fucks up everything eventually. He just fucking snapped at Wooyoung who isn't guilty at all for this. This is not his fault, he doesn't deserve to be yelled like that. It's San's own fault, for having feelings in the first place. And seeing how scared the younger is, really hit San in the face. It is so painful.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you I swear..."
Wooyoung slowly wraps his arms around San' neck, pulling him closer so the figure can lean his head on Wooyoung's shoulder. Hearing San crying breaks Wooyoung's heart even more, sad at the fact that the other has been actually suffering alone and it's because of him. And he is not helping at all, instead he even makes it worse without his knowing.
Tears get him off his thoughts when they flow down on his cheeks. His heart already beats faster and he is not complaining. The confession sounds so sincere yet so painful to hear, that Wooyoung wants to do nothing but hug the older and give him the best comfort he can provide at this point.
"I guess we are both idiots then..." Wooyoung says as he lifts the other's face, seeing how fragile and broken San is from the eyes, they scream despair like he is going to fall and tear apart.
Knowing he isn't getting a response, Wooyoung spends no more time to pull the face in front of him closer to his before putting his lips on San's. First seconds he gets no response until the older starts moving his lips gently. Wooyoung doesn't regret it, he truly means it. He doesn't do it just because, he thinks this is the right thing to do and it's true. He feels so happy again, knowing things are going to be alright. He does it not for attention, affection, fun or anything else but he does it for his love towards San, though he didn't know what it was before.
He was actually in love with San, too. He just maybe didn't realize it. Yeah, didn't realize the emptiness in his soul when the other started being distant from him. Didn't realize he ever craved for San's attention because it was different from others'. Didn't realize he kept overthinking of everything when he saw the way San started treating him differently. Didn't realize he kept crying himself to sleep thinking about the person who used to make him so happy and grateful. Didn't realize that he has been actually pining over San, missing San so much when they are literally side by side the whole time.
The kiss starts deepening, and Wooyoung doesn't stop the tears that keep falling due to the thoughts. Neither of them stops crying while kissing, pouring both their overloaded emotions and wounds into the kiss making it bittersweet. None of them has any thought to stop this memorial moment. To stop the time, and process everything that's currently happening at the same time.
They both release their mouth and when they run out of oxygen, resulting them to pant puffs of air. San hasn't reacted anything yet already feels Wooyoung hugging him tightly.
"I-I like you too, San. I don't want you to go."
San's heartbeat is still fast from the kiss and hearing that makes it beats way faster. It sounds so sincere that it strikes right to his heart. His face begins to blush despite the cold night air, feeling a little lighter than usual. Luckily Wooyoung can't see it, or he would be embarrassed even more.
When Wooyoung releases the hug he pulls out a wide grin of pure happiness, not knowing that it can churn San's stomach in seconds. San is really that whipped and he is thankful for surviving until this time.
"Come on, let's go back to the dorm. I will feed you uwu." Says Wooyoung as he wraps the older's arm and leans his head on the shoulder, with his lips pouting in a cute way.
This is it, the moment everyone has been waiting for. Especially Hongjoong. He was actually between worried that things could get worse outside and he didn't know what it couls be, and excited if they are back to get along again. It all depends on Wooyoung. He trusts Wooyoung for it. No actually he trusts both who he knows will try their best to rematch.
It was actually susprising when last time he heard San answering that he was actually jealous. It was funny yet everything made sense because of it. So turns out San has been in love with Wooyoung but couldn't admit it. And Wooyoung, being the hoe he is, keeps flirting with the members and the fans playfully, making San jealous without his knowing. And because the flirting isn't meant to and is just as a joke, Wooyoung started wondering why.
Hongjoong snorts at how dumb they are both. He hopes at least both of them are back alive.
After a few groans and many Mingi's yelling for food, they finally hear the front door opening, appealing both San and Wooyoung with their arms around each other and smiles on their face. The members notice it but stay silent, only Yunho speaking, "come here guys, the food is getting colder."
Wooyoung is the first one of the two to speak, out loud, "we are dating now."
San widens his eyes in shock, but his reaction is too late compared to the members already cheering. Even some of them screaming "finally", having Hongjoong to calm everyone down in case it gets too loud for the neighbours.
San whispers to the younger next to him, "are we?"
"Of course, babe what else do you expect?" Wooyoung grins in satisfaction when San blushes red again at the pet name. He pecks the other's cheek before smiling. "Thank you, for being with me."
San smiles fondly as he returns the peck on the nose. "No, I should be the one thanking you. Thank you for not giving up on me."