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the hero chat (noir)

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#general

---> Chat Noir just joined. Can I get a heal?

---> Ermagherd. bee-you-tiful is here.

Chat Noir: Oh my gosh! A real group chat! I've wanted to be in one of these since I first read group chat fanfiction a few years ago. And it's with Ladybug!

bee-you-tiful: hnnnnng

bee-you-tiful: that's right peasants be awed you don't deserve me

Chat Noir: Queenie!

bee-you-tiful: oh no you're one of those people

Chat Noir: What people?

bee-you-tiful: ladybug make me a mod i want to change grandpa's nickname

bee-you-tiful: the capitalization hurts my eyes

Chat Noir: I'm sorry?

ladybug: this was a bad idea

---> Welcome, rena the rogue. Stay a while and listen.

rena the rogue: queenie you would be a horrible mod

---> Swoooosh. carapeace just landed.

carapeace: swoosh

bee-you-tiful: i would not

carapeace: if anyone should be a mod it's chat. i mean he is ladybug's partner

ladybug: chat noir being a mod is almost as bad of an idea as queenie being one

Chat Noir: What's a mod?

bee-you-tiful: excuse you i would make a great mod because

ladybug: if chat became a mod he'd just change everyone's nicknames to puns

ladybug: because what

Chat Noir: I can do that?

ladybug: no

Chat Noir: 3:

bee-you-tiful: ladybug do something about this before i block him

ladybug: who taught chat noir to use cat emoticons

Chat Noir: I'm not completely new to the internet, m'lady.

bee-you-tiful: then why the heck do you type like a grandpa

Chat Noir: My father says that teenagers who text with grammatical errors and no capitalization are lazy and stupid.

rena the rogue: honey my phone automatically capitalizes everything it takes work to text this well

rena the rogue: it's all for the Aesthetic

bee-you-tiful: ew more capitals

bee-you-tiful: chat noir, i say this with the utmost respect but

bee you-tiful: screw your father

carapeace: rdgtiuewyth;ozrjsdz

Chat Noir: ...

chat noir: ...you're right.

rena the rogue: one of us one of us

carapeace: one of us one of us one of us

chat noir: :3

ladybug: i'm proud of you chat

ladybug: but please stop with the cat emojis

chat noir:  :3

chat noir: ooh italics!

ladybug: okay while we're all online i'm going to make a channel with rules

rena the rogue: ew

carapeace: dude rules are there for a reason

rena the rogue: eat the rich

rena the rogue: except for adrien agreste he's cool

chat noir: gthuei;ythioewhtgzb

bee-you-tiful: valid

 

#rules

ladybug: okay grond rules

ladybug: *ground

ladybug: shut up i don't need to be in the channel to know what you're all saying

ladybug: okay number one

ladybug: don't do anything to reveal your identity or that of anyone else

ladybug: don't hint, don't tell it, and don't try to figure anyone else's out

ladybug: that means you rena

ladybug: also please don't spam too much i realize it's nice to have a place to chat with friends but first and foremost this is here to alert each other for hero stuff

ladybug: i love you guys but you have no chill

ladybug: except carapace i guess he's cool

ladybug: i'll just make a channel for akuma alerts i guess

ladybug: please don't spam in there or @everyone unless there's an emergency

ladybug: actually please don't mention me at all unless there's an emergency

ladybug: i have a life i need sleep

ladybug: that's all for now but i will be back

 

#general

rena the rogue: grond

carapeace: grond

bee-you-tiful: grond

chat noir: what?

chat noir: oh

rena the rogue: wow i feel called out

chat noir: !!

chat noir: i love you too ladybug! you're my best friend

rena the rogue: hey @ladybug can i be a mod so i can set some of my own rules 

chat noir: i mean other than plagg and my civilian best friend and my childhood best friend because i love all of them a lot too

carapeace: dude she just said not to @ her

rena the rogue: oops

bee-you-tiful: rena would be a worse mod than me and chat combined

carapeace: that's fair

rena the rogue: aww come on guys i just wanted to outlaw peanut butter

chat noir: peanut butter? why would you want to outlaw peanut butter

rena the rogue: because

chat noir: because what?

rena the rogue: because

chat noir: ...

ladybug: no

ladybug: please don't make me regret this guys

carapeace: can i make a suggestion for the rules

ladybug: i'll take it under advisement

carapeace: no pda

rena the rogue: i'm breaking up with you

bee-you-tiful: f

carapeace: welp i guess chat's my boyfriend now

chat noir: i'd like that!

bee-you-tiful: i can't tell if he's joking or if he genuinely would like to date carapace

chat noir: come on, who wouldn't want to date carapace?

ladybug: rena, apparently

rena the rogue: you know what you did

carapeace: :(

chat noir: :)

carapeace: ...:)

bee-you-tiful: pure

rena the rogue: chat noir? pure? in that suit? i don't think so

chat noir: what's wrong with my suit?

bee-you-tiful: honey

rena the rogue: don't play dumb

ladybug: it's... very "sexy catboy"

rena the rogue: oh my god ladybug just called chat noir sexy

carapeace: nO PDA

bee-you-tiful: no capitals my eyes are dying

chat noir: f

chat noir: but seriously guys. what's wrong with my suit?

ladybug: i mean there's the bell for starters

chat noir: what's wrong with the bell? kids love the bell. it helps keep them calm when i carry them to safety!

bee-you-tiful: you said you read fanfiction. you know

chat noir: know what? what does fanfiction have to do with anything?

rena the rogue: seriously chat stop teasing us

bee-you-tiful: ...lemons

chat noir: what do lemons have to do with fanfiction?

rena the rogue: oh my god he actually doesn't know

ladybug: it's smut chat

chat noir: oh

chat noir:  oh

chat noir:  ohhhh

bee-you-tiful: please stop

chat noir: i don't actually read any of that stuff. it says you have to be majority age for a reason, and the idea of it just makes me feel uncomfortable? i don't know. i mean it's cool if other people or even other aces read it! it's just not for me.

chat noir: and what does that have to do with my suit? i don't think it's inappropriate or anything. i mean, i've worn worse.

carapeace: ignoring the fact that chat says he's worn worse

bee-you-tiful: you're ace?

bee-you-tiful: if you don't mind me asking

rena the rogue: but you flirt so much!

carapeace: aces can be flirty, rena. i mean i'm demi and i've been known to flirt a time or two.

chat noir: yeah, i think so? i mean i'm not 100% sure. i was pretty sheltered growing up and only had one friend. i guess i could just be a late bloomer because of that? but i don't know. the label's just felt right for a few years. i'm not entirely sure on my romantic orientation. i mean my crush on ladybug started as soon as i felt a deep connection with her but that was also like immediately because i'm desperate for friends. so i spent a while after that warring with myself over whether i was really crushing on her or if i just really really wanted to be super close friends. i think it's both. i think. i'm not sure. and all of my friends keep telling me i have a crush on this other girl and it's getting kind of frustrating? because she's a nice person but i can barely get a handle on my feelings for one person let alone two. and platonic relationships are a thing. i don't think i have a crush on her but i actually have no idea what the difference is between feeling a romantic crush and wanting to be close friends with someone so. please someone help.

carapeace: i support you, dude!

chat noir: !!!

chat noir: ace spectrum buddies! -high five-

carapeace: -high five-

bee-you-tiful: thank you for trusting us with that, chat. i kind of get how it feels? it took me forever to realize i was bi and even then it took me a while to actually feel comfortable with that label.

chat noir: you're bi, queenie? that's great! thank you for trusting us.

chat noir: also i have the perfect nickname for you

bee-you-tiful: ...what

chat noir: queen bi!

queen bi: ...i don't hate it

ladybug: wow... that means a lot to me that you would trust us enough to tell us that, chat. thank you. and i'm sorry if i've ever given you mixed signals on our relationship. i mean there's another guy i really like so i never really looked at you like that? i'm a bi disaster

rena the rogue: oh come on you're a functional bi at least

rena the rogue: i'm the disaster pan here

carapeace: i'd like to think i'm a distinguished demi but tbh i'm probably barely functional

queen bi: i'm both distinguished and a disaster at the same time. fear me

rena the rogue: you know, i can't argue with that

queen bi: boys and girls are both so freaking pretty

rena the rogue: can't argue with that logic either

carapeace: hey where did chat and ladybug go

 

Direct Message: @Chat Noir & @ladybug

Chat Noir: no! if anything the fault is mine, ladybug. the most important thing is that i don't make you uncomfortable. and i'm sorry if i ever have and i'll try to do better when you ask me to back off. it doesn't excuse my actions but i genuinely had no idea how coming after you like that could have seemed? there's this girl who's been getting kind of handsy with me lately and i was talking with a friend of mine and he told me that that's sexual harassment? it was making me really uncomfortable and i didn't even know that was a thing that could be happening to me. but it got me thinking about you. and i've been thinking over what to say for a few days but i really wanted to let you know that it wasn't intentional and i'll back off from the flirting and nicknames if you want. please tell me if i make you uncomfortable because i was pushy and a jealous prick and that was wrong of me. you're my friend first and foremost.

ladybug: oh kitty. thank you for saying that. but we're good, okay? i'm so sorry you're going through that and to heck with secret identities please feel free to keep me updated on that situation because that's Not Okay. i'm completely fine with our relationship how it is. you're important to me. you're my best friend and i like the flirting and the nicknames and the banter and keep this a secret please but i even like the puns. as long as you back off when i seriously tell you to, we're good. and it is on me a little, because i should have made my boundaries clearer. if i ever really sound serious about you backing off, please do, but i know you will and i can promise that that moment either won't happen or will happen very rarely. please don't feel bad.

Chat Noir: ladybug, please don't think it's your fault! because it's not. my friend told me that it's never the fault of the person who's being harassed and that's true here too

ladybug: you weren't harassing me, minou, i promise

Chat Noir: promise not to laugh?

ladybug: promise

Chat Noir: it just occurred to me recently that the way i flirt isn't actually how most people flirt? i was super sheltered and i didn't realize that people don't actually flirt like they do in anime until like... three days ago when i was called out on it. i'm an idiot.

ladybug: you're not an idiot. being sheltered doesn't make you stupid.

Chat Noir: nah, i'm just oblivious i guess. or maybe just a disaster ace

ladybug: ily chaton <3

Chat Noir: ily too my lady <333 :3

 

#general

chat noir: ladybug said she likes my puns!

queen bi: we know honey

ladybug: well then

ladybug: chat noir learned to flirt from anime

rena the rogue: yeah we know that too

carapeace: f

Chapter Text

#general

chat noir: m'lady! we should change our nicknames! we're the only ones who still have our hero names as our usernames.

queen bi: bold of you to assume i ever had my hero name as my username

rena the rogue: mood

chat noir: ooh, we should have matching nicknames! that would be fun!

ladybug: i mean we already kind of do have matching nicknames though

ladybug: we match because we're the only ones still being professional

rena the rogue: professional? what's that?

chat noir: please m'lady? think of all the puns we could use!

rena the rogue: i can't believe i never realized how pure chat noir is

ladybug: mmmmmmm

ladybug: i'll make you a deal. if you think of something i actually like, i'll change it

ladybug: but no puns

chat noir: but you like my puns

ladybug: i'm starting to regret that

rena the rogue: starting to?

rena the rogue: my boyfriend was corrupted by his pun-loving best friend and i've been regretting that since i started dating him

carapeace: to be fair though, he lights up every time i make a pun how could i not

rena the rogue: fair i guess i mean your best friend is sunshine

ladybug: he is though

queen bi: starting to feel left out rip

rena the rogue: f

ladybug: f

carapeace: f

chat noir: i promise bugaboo i will think of the perfect nickname

queen bi: why not just go with your obnoxiously sappy nicknames for each other?

chat noir: !!

chat noir: queenie that's an awesome idea!

ladybug: ...so like what? kitty and m'lady?

chat noir: sure!

ladybug: ...fine. for now.

kitty: !!! :3

m'lady: ...

m'lady: :)

kitty: <33

carapeace: pure

kitty: oh, and so just to be clear... rena is pan, carapace is demi, and queenie and m'lady are bi, right?

rena the rogue: yeppers

carapeace:  yeppers

rena the rogue: shut it shelly

queen bi: yeppers

m'lady: yeppers

kitty: ...yeppers?

rena the rogue: you know, when chat and ladybug say it, i can't be mad

rena the rogue: i'm coming after queenie and carapace though

carapeace: :(

queen bi: oh by the way rena, speaking of nicknames, what's up with yours

rena the rogue: hmm?

queen bi: why are you a rogue

carapeace: it's because of her roguishly handsome looks

rena the rogue: u right

rena the rogue: nah seriously though it's because a lot of english speakers tend to spell rogue and rouge 

rena the rogue: and i'm very much a grammar nazi

m'lady: we punch nazis

rena the rogue: valid

rena the rogue: but anyway yeah i just felt like making fun of idiots

rena the rogue: and i like playing a rogue in dnd

kitty: ooh, i've always wanted to play that!

kitty: i'd love to be some type of magic user because you can't spend your childhood reading about wizards and not want to be one

carapeace: fair

queen bi: i can

queen bi: it's not like watching anime would make you want to be an anime character

kitty: i would love to be an anime character

queen bi: or reading a romance would make you excited about going to public school every day

kitty: nope, i wanted that too

queen bi: you're just weird then

rena the rogue: she's not wrong

kitty: i've been called worse

carapeace: you keep saying stuff like that and it makes me concerned what does worse mean

kitty: boring, for one

m'lady: boring? you are like the least boring person i know

m'lady: do boring people save paris on a regular basis? no, i don't think so

rena the rogue: i mean carapace does it so i guess some boring people do

carapeace: hey

queen bi: slightly off topic but those people who talk about how weird they are all the time? who are like "oh look at me i'm so crazy lolololol"?

queen bi: they're usually the most basic people

rena the rogue: the truly weird ones are the ones going on with their weirdo lives without having the time to go on about how weird they are

m'lady: you're right and you should say it

carapeace: maybe they're just self-aware?

kitty: nah, the self-aware people are the ones who lie there at night wondering if they truly are as weird as they think they are or if they live a distressingly boring life and will never amount to anything worth being remembered by.

queen bi: ...

rena the rogue: ...

carapeace: ...dude

m'lady: ...are you okay, kitty

kitty: i'm perfectly fine, m'lady! :3

m'lady: aaaand back to the cat emojis

m'lady: can i ban them

kitty: no! 3:

kitty: that would be like separating me from my soul, bugaboo

rena the rogue: he could get akumatized over it

rena the rogue: chat emoji

kitty: they're technically emoticons?

rena the rogue: turns everyone's faces into different cat emojis

kitty: i'm not really a big emoji person?

queen bi: the only people who actually use emojis are preteens and my dad

queen bi: he thinks he's being hip but in reality he's just cringeworthy

rena the rogue: shush chat

rena the rogue: i mean monsieur pigeon probably wasn't as crazy about pigeons as he was as an akuma hawkmoth just seems to magnify everything until it's just weird

m'lady: no, he was

kitty: i still have nightmares about monsieur pigeon

carapeace: 

rena the rogue: i mean did you see the bubbler's costume

rena the rogue: gabriel agreste would cry if he saw hawkmoth's fashion sense

rena the rogue: lady wifi though? she looked hot

kitty: i don't see it.

rena the rogue: of course you don't

kitty: you know which akuma had the best costume though? copycat.

kitty: i mean he was annoying but he looked fine.

m'lady: of course you'd think so

m'lady: i mean no one but you would think that bell was a good idea

kitty: i thought we already had this conversation! what's wrong with my bell?

m'lady: it's either childish or way too adult and i can't decide which

m'lady: i mean don't get me wrong i love it because it's very you

m'lady: but please ignore the dark corners of the internet for your own sake

kitty: i vote for childish

kitty: i'm childish and proud

kitty: ah, finally a proper childhood

queen bi: are you okay

kitty: are you?

queen bi: no, thank you for asking

kitty: fair

rena the rogue: carapace honey you've been typing for a long time

carapeace: :(

rena the rogue: ?

carapeace: i hate you

carapeace: the bubbler was doing his Best

carapeace: from what i heard he got akumatized because he wanted his best friend to have a birthday party

m'lady: the purest akumatization 

kitty: he did!! it was super sweet of him. anyone would be super lucky to have a friend like him. i'm jealous of his best friend

carapeace: dude i'd be happy to throw you a birthday party anytime

kitty: <333

carapeace: <333

queen bi: gay

carapeace: i think you mean ace

kitty: -high five-

carapACE: -high five-

kitty: i love your nickname! it really takes the cake

queen bi: i don't get it

rena the rogue: f

 

#patrol

kitty: i know this is short notice, but can we meet up for patrol tonight? all of us?

queen bi: i mean i'm down

rena the rogue: ooh we could spar

rena the rogue: i could beat carapace in a spar

carapACE: sure jan

carapACE: but yeah i'd totally be up for that dude

m'lady: i mean i was planning to patrol tonight anyway, so sure, why not?

m'lady: training's always a good idea

m'lady: any specific reason why, chat?

kitty: yay, thank you guys! :3

kitty: and you'll see, bugaboo!

 

#general

ladybi: i can't believe you made us shirts chat you really didn't have to do that

ace of cats: i mean i know it'll be hard to be able to wear them in civilian life! but i had a lot of fun coming up with punny sexuality shirts and i'm so glad you all liked them. :3

carapACE: i would die for you dude

foxy boys and girls: i mean we could wear them? i have a really convoluted plan if you guys are interested

queen bi: here we go

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i bet it would mean a lot to people to discover the protectors of paris are all lgbt. so we could have an interview on that ladyblog where we reveal our sexualities

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: only if everyone is comfortable with that, of course

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: and then we could sell the shirts and donate the money to charity

ace of cats: wow i actually love that idea a lot

queen bi: i mean

queen bi: tbh i'm not entirely comfortable in my sexuality? i'm not really out in real life

ace of cats: neither am i

queen bi: but i think i'd like that. i think it would help me feel more secure in my sexuality and it could do so much for all the other kids out there who wonder if they're faking it

ladybi: queenie's right. being heroes is about more than punching villains. if this is a way to help others, i'm absolutely up for it.

carapACE: sounds good to me

ace of cats: and i mean if you guys want to keep the money you should! you all do so much for paris and don't get paid for it

ladybi: so do you, chat

ace of cats: thanks, m'lady, but i don't need the money <3

ladybi: <3

ladybi: i mean i like the idea of it going to charity. tbh i already make a decent amount of money by working? and it just feels a little more heroic you know

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i'm with ladybug

carapACE: of course you are

carapACE: nah but seriously though i am too

queen bi: i'm with chat. i don't need the money either

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: can you buy me a soda queenie

queen bi: i'll do better than that. we should all go out for ice cream sometime on me

ace of cats: and on me

queen bi: in our hero outfits of course

queen bi: fair

 

Direct Message: @ladybug & @rena the rogue

ladybug: really? the ladyblog?

rena the rogue: thank goodness for illusion abilities -finger guns-

ladybug: just please be careful

rena the rogue: please lb it would be more suspicious if the ladyblog wasn't available for the interview

ladybug: ...fine

ladybug: just please

ladybug: be careful

rena the rogue: ofc

 

Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir

bee-you-tiful: of course you got us punny tee-shirts, adrikins

 

Direct Message: @Chat Noir & @ladybug

Chat Noir: aaaaaaa

ladybug: what's wrong?

Chat Noir: queenie figured out my identity!

ladybug: what? how?

Chat Noir: the shirts, i guess!

Chat Noir: i mean she's known me my whole life so i kind of should have expected that?

ladybug: i guess i can’t say anything seeing as i have my best friend a miraculous

ladybug: err forget i said that and don’t tell rena 

Chat Noir: said what?

ladybug: :)

ladybug: we’ll still be each other’s first reveals though right? purposeful reveal i mean

Chat Noir: duh! of course my lady!

ladybug: <3

Chat Noir: <3

 

Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir

Chat Noir: who’s adrikins?

bee-you-tiful: wow it took you like half an hour to write that

bee-you-tiful: please let’s not do this song and dance you were kind of obvious

bee-you-tiful: i’m sure the others are still trying to figure out how to reconcile the way you act with you letting slip that you were sheltered

Chat Noir: heh, sheltered. like an animal shelter

bee-you-tiful: besides. only you would actually think i’m worthy of a miraculous

bee-you-tiful: so i kind of suspected already

bee-you-tiful: i just know you really well and the rest of it confirmed it

Chat Noir: of course you’re worthy! you’re my friend

bee-you-tiful: don’t worry i won’t tell the others

bee-you-tiful: you and ladybug can keep dancing around each other

Chat Noir: ...thanks chlo 

bee-you-tiful: ...whatever

 

#general

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: do pigeons have feelings

carapACE: shut up

Chapter Text

#general

queen bi: chat noir once snuck out, climbed in through my window, and woke me up to watch anime with him at three am

ace of cats: queenie

queen bi: it was sailor moon

ace of cats: queenie please

queen bi: we ended up sleeping until like noon and when his mom came to pick him up he cried

ace of cats: i thought she was going to be mad at me for sneaking out!

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals:  wow

ladybi: exposed

queen bi: your mom? mad at you? didn't she take you out for ice cream to avoid your dad for the rest of the day?

ace of cats: i'm still not sure if that was because they had been fighting the day before or because she knew father would be angry at me.

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: suddenly this story is less funny

carapACE: wait i'm confused

carapACE: do you two know each other's identities then?

queen bi: i've known this boy my entire life shelly do you really think i wouldn't recognize him in a cat suit

ace of cats: to be fair, it was the tee-shirts that gave me away.

ace of cats: not the suit.

queen bi: he was the first and only person i've come out to in my civilian life and he made me a bi tee-shirt then

carapACE: wait you guys know each other in regular life?

carapACE: that's really weird

ace of cats: i mean i wasn't exactly going to give a miraculous to a stranger

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: fair

queen bi: it was pretty obvious because who else would think i'd make a good miraculous holder

ace of cats: bad queenie. bad. you're a great miraculous holder!

ladybi: i may not know your identity but i can't imagine anyone else being queen bee

ace of cats: don't you mean beeing?

ladybi: but i mean if anyone has a replacement chat noir lying around

ace of cats: 3:

ladybi: just kidding i love you kitty

ace of cats: :3

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i would die for queenie

carapACE: so would i but to be fair i would die for any of you because wishing for death is just a gen z mood

queen bi: ...

queen bi: and besides. like he said, he made his identity all the more obvious. who else would write puns in fabric paint on expensive gabriel brand shirts

ace of cats: you can't ignore our love for you forever, queenie!

carapACE: gabriel agreste would be pissed

ace of cats: ...he can never find out.

queen bi: f

carapACE: tbh he should find out i'd love to see the look on that man's face

carapACE: it would make my year

queen bi: it would make my life

ace of cats: let's,,, not,,,

carapACE: i have many fantasies involving gabriel agreste

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: ew

ladybi: that is not a sentence i ever wanted to read

carapACE: dthdxzrjuterjhnjrs

carapACE: not like THAT

carapACE: i fantasize about taking adrien agreste away from him and giving him a loving home

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: gay

carapACE: demi

carapACE: to be fair though i mean if i hadn't fallen in love with you i probably would have fallen in love with him

queen bi: tbh i think everyone's a little bit in love with him

ace of cats: tihrueterwoxiughd

ladybi: the biggest mood

ace of cats: wait... you guys know adrien agreste in real life?

ace of cats: DON'T ANSWER THAT

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

bee-you-tiful: you're a disaster

Chat Noir: ftyrdsehtsyrad i kNOW

 

#general

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i mean i guess technically everyone in paris knows adrien agreste in real life considering his face is on every other billboard

ace of cats: ew

carapACE: i mean i'm more concerned with how well you and queenie know each other in rea

carapACE: how dare you

carapACE: adrien deserves better

queen bi: you wouldn't think adrien could have haters and yet here we are. i'll never be able to understand chat's hatred of adrien agreste

ace of cats: i don't hate him!

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: chloe!

bee-you-tiful: :)

 

#general

ladybi: i can't believe you chat

ladybi: adrien agreste is a really sweet guy

ladybi: how could anyone dislike him?

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: this is why i hate gabriel agreste

ace of cats: i'm sorry for upsetting you my lady! i promise i don't hate adrien agreste.

ace of cats: i mean gabriel agreste isn't the best father but he doesn't deserve hatred any more than adrien does.

carapACE: "isn't the best father" wow what an understatement

carapACE: maybe you haven't been around adrien as much as i have and that's why you're saying this but dude

ace of cats: look can we just talk about something else? like how queenie and i know each other?

queen bi: sorry chat

ace of cats: or someone else? like idk

ace of cats: marinette dupain-cheng?

ladybi: marinette dupain-cheng? really?

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i would die for marinette dupain-cheng

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

bee-you-tiful: sorry if that made you uncomfortable. i guess i should have thought about how it looked before teasing you about yourself.

Chat Noir: an apology? from chloe bourgeois? in this economy?

Chat Noir: thanks chlo :)

bee-you-tiful: psh whatever

bee-you-tiful: and also really? marinette dupain-cheng?

Chat Noir: i was panicking and i have like five civilian friends to choose from

bee-you-tiful: fair

 

#general

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: if i weren't dating carapace i'd want to date her tbh

ladybi: you deserve better than marinette dupain-cheng

carapACE: if rena left me for marinette dupain-cheng i wouldn't even be mad

carapACE: i'd get it

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: how dare you insult marinette ladybug

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: there aren't many things i would stand up to freaking ladybug for but marinette's honor is one of them

queen bi: headcanon: ladybug is lila rossi

ace of cats: don't get her started on lila rossi

ladybi: oh don't get me sTARTED on lila rossi

ladybi: thanks chat

ladybi: if lila were on fire and i were holding a glass of water i'd drink it

ladybi: and then i'd probably find something i could add to the flame

queen bi: savage

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: what's wrong with lila rossi?

ladybi: she's a lying liar who lies

ace of cats: i don't like saying mean things about people but ummm

queen bi: go on chat

ladybi: you can do it

carapACE: ...wow you guys really don't like lila

carapACE: what did she do to you?

queen bi: c'mon chat stop typing just hit submit already

ladybi: she lied about being my friend for one

ladybi: she goes out of her way to antagonize me

ladybi: she's super cruel to marinette

queen bi: i thought you didn't like marinette

ladybi: i didn't say that

ladybi: she's definitely better than lila at the very least

ace of cats: lila rossi is really rude.

queen bi: really? that's all you've got?

ace of cats: she makes up lies to make herself look good but also makes them up specifically to make other people look bad and that's not okay? lies can be hurtful and she knows it and does it anyway. all anyone's tried to do is to be nice and welcoming to her and she's hurt them on purpose and they don't even realize she's hurting them.

 

Direct Message: carapeace & rena the rogue

rena the rogue: nino i think i messed up

carapeace: we both did

rena the rogue: do you think ladybug's right?

rena the rogue: i mean she knows who we are and she knows we're friends with lila and she still gave us miraculouses

rena the rogue: she's just too good

rena the rogue: and i thought lila was too but i trust ladybug

carapeace: we should have trusted marinette tbh

carapeace: we shouldn't have had to rely on a superhero to tell us what's right and wrong. we should have listened to our friend rather than shoving her aside

rena the rogue: i'm an awful friend

carapeace: i mean if you are, so am i. this isn't just on you

carapeace: we both need to apologize to marinette. and we both need to do better. i just hope she forgives us

rena the rogue: she will

rena the rogue: she shouldn't but she will

rena the rogue: she's just too nice

 

#general

ladybi: -applause-

queen bi: she gets more people akumatized than chloe bourgeois ever did

ace of cats: hey, chloe's been better recently! she's been trying and i'm proud of her.

queen bi: has she though? 

ace of cats: yes!

ladybi: tbh i haven't noticed

ladybi: i mean she's definitely better than lila. but i've never really been chloe's biggest fan and while i'd be proud of her for trying, it would take me a while to be able to forgive her tbh

queen bi: that's valid

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: stop saying mean things about yourself.

bee-you-tiful: no u

 

#general

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: but you know who really sucks? alya cesaire

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: can you believe her? she just went along and believed everything that fell from lila rossi's mouth

ace of cats: CAN WE PLEASE STOP HATING ON PEOPLE PLEASE

queen bi: ew caps

queen bi: also you started it

ace of cats: :(

 

Direct Message: carapeace, ladybug, rena the rogue

---> ladybug added carapeace to the group.

---> ladybug added rena the rogue to the group.

ladybug changed the channel name: this is an intervention ily guys

ladybug: please stop beating yourself up over this. it's not your fault.

ladybug: people like lila thrive on breaking up friendships, okay? don't let her win. just try to mend it and move on.

ladybug: don't let her get what she wants. i'm sure your friend will forgive you. you're a better friend than you think, alya.

ladybug: and this goes for you too, nino.

carapeace: :')

rena the rogue: thanks lb

rena the rogue: i mean i'm still pissed at myself. and lila.

rena the rogue: i wouldn't blame marinette if she didn't forgive us.

carapeace: she's not obligated to obviously. i get it if she doesn't, but i know she will.

rena the rogue: i'm not sure if that's better or worse.

ladybug: you guys are good friends, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. that's why she'll forgive you. not for any other reason.

rena the rogue: nah, she'll forgive us because she's a good friend.

ladybug: then let her be one and stop beating yourselves up over it, okay?

carapeace: we'll try.

rena the rogue: i would die for you ladybug

 

Direct Message: Chat Noir & ladybug

ladybug: these people are eXHAUSTING

ladybug: i mean i love them but

Chat Noir: mood!

 

#general

carapACE: on a more lighthearted note...

carapACE: @ace of cats @queen bi when were you guys going to tell us you were siblings

 

Direct Message:  bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: oh no

bee-you-tiful: oh yes

Chapter Text

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: this is a bad idea.

bee-you-tiful: nonsense. i mean, neither of us actually have siblings so it hides our identities really well

Chat Noir: i don't really want to hide my identity though. i mean, keep it secret, yeah, but deliberately lying to my teammates doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

bee-you-tiful: psh, you're no fun. it's a harmless prank. and they're the ones who assumed

Chat Noir: plagg finds the idea hilarious which just makes me even more certain that this is a really terrible idea.

bee-you-tiful: stop bullying your kwami

Chat Noir: D:

Chat Noir: i'm not bullying him! if anything, he bullies me.

bee-you-tiful: you're so oversensitive jeez adrikins

Chat Noir: stop bullying me chlo :(

bee-you-tiful: too late

bee-you-tiful: i've been bullying you our whole lives i'm sorry adrihoney i'm addicted

Chat Noir: i'll pay for your therapy

bee-you-tiful: have you ever considered that i like being addicted to teasing you

bee-you-tiful: it's a great way to relieve stress you should try it

Chat Noir: bold of you to think i don't already do so.

bee-you-tiful: new idea: i pay for your therapy

Chat Noir: :(

 

#general

ladybi: i mean he already told me through dm

ladybi: or at least made it pretty obvious

ladybi: please chat for your own sake get better at hiding your identity

foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: i mean i already assumed he had siblings

foxy older sister: being a sister myself, i have a nose for this sort of thing

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: aaaaaaaa gthyjr;ieowh

bee-you-tiful: coward

 

#general

foxy older sister: he acts just like a kid from a big family who has to act out in order to stand out

foxy older sister: tbh i'm surprised more of his siblings don't have miraculouses

carapACE: how many siblings do you two have?

queen bi: it's just the two of us and our dad, actually! i'm the eldest.

foxy older sister: really? just the two of you?

foxy older sister: i mean i'm not surprised that you're older though

foxy older sister: are your parents divorced? or...

carapACE: rena

ladybi: shh identity stuff

queen bi: nah it's okay. chat doesn't really like to talk about it though

ladybi: aww i'm sorry chat

foxy older sister: sorry! i'll back off

 

Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir

Chat Noir: why u always lying

bee-you-tiful: oh my god

Chat Noir: ughhhhh

Chat Noir: i'm glad you're having fun i guess.

bee-you-tiful: you know you want to join in

Chat Noir: ...i mean i guess it is a little funny.

Chat Noir: and it's not much different from that time we pretended we were siblings when i was eight.

bee-you-tiful: i knew you'd come around

Chat Noir: this topic of conversation is a little bit awkward though.

bee-you-tiful: let's get our stories straight at least in case the topic comes up again

bee-you-tiful: i mean obviously we're lying but we don't want to lie too much

Chat Noir: i agree.

Chat Noir: plagg just called you a spoilsport though.

bee-you-tiful: :P

bee-you-tiful: okay so obviously we've had freakishly similar lives anyway

bee-you-tiful: we can just say our mom is gone and leave it at that

bee-you-tiful: you were close to her, i was... not

bee-you-tiful: and our dad spoils me but kind of ignores you

bee-you-tiful: but he's also super protective of you? because you remind him of our mom

bee-you-tiful: so you were homeschooled. or heck we could even say you're still homeschooled to obscure your identity even more

bee-you-tiful: or we could claim to attend private school

bee-you-tiful: we can't give any of this information away too easily or we'll get yelled at probably

bee-you-tiful: adrien? are you here?

 

Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger

Chat Noir: Hello, Mademoiselle Ladyblogger! I wanted to reach out to ask a favor. Team Miraculous had a discussion regarding our sexualities, and we decided we wanted to come out publicly. I mean, how many superheroes are LGBT, right? We hold your blog in high regard and were wondering if you would be interested in interviewing us on our sexualities for the Ladyblog.

official ladyblogger: Oh my god.

official ladyblogger: One moment.

 

Direct Message: marinette's so cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: AAAAAAAAA

official ladyblogger: MARINETTE

official ladyblogger: CHAT NOIR JUST DMED ME

 

Direct Message: alya's future hubby & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: NINO GET YOUR BUTT ONLINE

official ladyblogger: CHAT NOIR JUST DMED ME

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: i'm here, sorry. i was dming alya about the ladyblog interview

bee-you-tiful: oh that's right i almost forgot about that

bee-you-tiful: did she say anything about the shirts yet?

Chat Noir: i haven't asked yet!

 

Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue

rena the rogue: oh my god chat noir just dmed me

ladybug: ???

ladybug: alya you're part of the team of course you're going to get dms from superheroes

ladybug: i'm literally dming you right now

rena the rogue: no!! i mean he dmed my civilian self!

rena the rogue: it just feels different, you know? like regular me is someone worth a hero's time, even if it is for the interview

rena the rogue: hnnnnn

rena the rogue: no offense ladybug but if you dmed my civilian self i would just... keel over and die

 

Direct Message: ladybug & official ladyblogger

ladybug: hi alya! :)

official ladyblogger: hjkitfurydtrsdrhtanrymkgtfgedrhtyju

 

Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue

rena the rogue: NOT FAIR

ladybug: :)

 

Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger

Chat Noir: No rush! :3

Chat Noir: We also wanted to ask if we could use your website to sell some official merchandise?

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: done! i'll let you know what she says.

bee-you-tiful: duh

Chat Noir: and on the topic of the prank...

Chat Noir: whatever you want to do is fine by me! :3

bee-you-tiful: you okay, adrien?

Chat Noir: yeah, i'm fine. it's kind of silly to get worked up over a fake backstory.

 

Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: hnnnn he responded to me o.o

official ladyblogger: and he wants me to sell merch!!!

marinette's sew cool: that's amazing, alya! not surprising, considering how awesome your blog is.

marinette's sew cool: what did he dm about?

official ladyblogger: he wants to set up an interview about the heroes' sexualities! and he wants me to be the reporter to do it!

marinette's sew cool: that's incredible! that's such a huge opportunity. :o

official ladyblogger: i know!! can you believe he asked me?

marinette's sew cool: of course i can! i'm assuming you said yes? when is it?

official ladyblogger: heck

 

Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: Yes. Absolutely. I will absolutely do the interview. And I will absolutely sell your merch. When do you want to do the interview?

Chat Noir: Purrific! :3 

 

Direct Message: alya's future hubby & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: CHAT NOIR JUST PUNNED AT ME IN A DM

 

Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger

Chat Noir: I'm actually not sure on the date! Here, let's ask the other heroes.

Chat Noir: I sent you a friend request.

 

Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: CHAT NOIR JUST SENT ME A FRIEND REQUEST

official ladyblogger: WE'RE FRIENDS NOW. THIS IS A THING

official ladyblogger: hjutfreawstgehjrews

marinette's sew cool: wow i can't believe you became discord friends with chat noir before i became discord friends with adrien

official ladyblogger: shut up stop being salty your nickname is literally named after a pun adrien texted you

official ladyblogger: and besides you know adrien doesn't have discord

marinette's sew cool: i know :(

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

bee-you-tiful: we don't have to make our fake backstory so close to the truth. it'll be easier to remember, but we can do whatever we want. heck, it may even be funnier to come up with the most outlandish fake backstory we can possibly think of. we could keep embellishing it until it starts to unravel. and then we just... let it unravel and confuse the heck out of everyone. it would be beautiful.

bee-you-tiful: we could say our mom's a bodybuilder and our dad's a door-to-door toilet paper salesman. that's a thing we can do.

 

#general

ace of cats: i'm going to add everyone to a dm with alya cesaire so we can figure out the best date for the interview, if everyone's okay with that!

carapACE: sounds awesome, dude!

 

 Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue

---> Chat Noir added official ladyblogger to the group.

---> Chat Noir added ladybug to the group.

---> Chat Noir added bee-you-tiful to the group.

---> Chat Noir added carapeace to the group.

---> Chat Noir added rena the rogue to the group.

 

Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: I'M IN A GROUP DM WITH EVERYONE IN TEAM MIRACULOUS

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue

Chat Noir: Hello everyone! I think it should be pretty obvious who everyone is. I created this DM so we could discuss what days we're free for the Ladyblog interview.

Chat Noir: Alya, I know I probably don't have to mention this, but just in case, please don't give out anyone's Discord users. It would be a pain for everyone to have to make new accounts.

official ladyblogger: I promise, Chat Noir!

rena the rogue: psh nerd

 

Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue

ladybug: i can't believe you are using two discord accounts at once

rena the rogue: my hero one is open in a private tab while my civilian one is up on my app

rena the rogue: i'm managing, okay

ladybug: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: thanks, chlo. <3 do whatever you want to, though. i'll follow your lead.

bee-you-tiful: honey, if you think i'm not going to make your dad a door-to-door toilet paper salesman you have another thing coming

 

#general

ace of cats: rena be nice to alya 3:

 

Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue

rena the rogue: oh my gOD

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue

official ladyblogger: I'm available whenever you want to do the interview! I would clear my schedule for the next year for this if I had to.

ladybug: well there's no need for that

Chat Noir: How about like 8 PM tomorrow?

official ladyblogger: I mean, I'm supposed to be babysitting then, but my best friend would probably come over to help cover for me. She's awesome like that.

ladybug: sorry, i'm actually not available then!

Chat Noir: Okay, how about on Tuesday then?

Chat Noir: I may also be able to squeeze that in next Thursday, too, but I mean that's like a whole week away.

Chat Noir: I can try to get out of things on other days too? I just know I have those times available without having to do any finagling and I'd rather my father not realize I'm absent.

bee-you-tiful: eight on tuesday works for me!

official ladyblogger: That works for me, too!

carapeace: my schedule is ridiculously empty so whatever is cool!

ladybug: sounds perfect, then!

Chat Noir: Rena?

rena the rogue: sounds cool to me

Chat Noir: Thank you so much, Alya! I really appreciate this. We all do.

official ladyblogger: Of course! I don't think you quite grasp how badly I want to do this.

ladybug: i think i can maybe guess. :)

 

Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: LADYBUG JUST SENT ME A SMILEY FACE

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue

Chat Noir: Okay, and as for the merch...

Chat Noir: You probably have a better idea of how this works than I do? Can you turn these pictures into designs?

Chat Noir:  [an image of a green shirt with a black cat face messily fabric painted, with the words "ACE OF CATS" scribbled at the top in black]

Chat Noir: [an image of a black shirt with a bumblebee messily fabric painted, with the words "QUEEN BI" scribbled at the top in yellow]

Chat Noir: [an image of a pink shirt with a ladybug messily fabric painted, with the word "LADYBI" scribbled at the top in red]

Chat Noir:  [an image of a light green shirt with a turtle shell messily fabric painted, with the word "CarapACE" scribbled at the top in dark green]

Chat Noir:  [an image of an orange shirt with a fox face messily fabric painted, with the words "I LOVE FOXY GUYS, GALS, & NONBINARY PALS" scribbled above and beneath the picture in white]

official ladyblogger: Oh my god. Did you make those? Those are adorable.

ladybug: aren't they?

Chat Noir: I did! :3 Thank you! Is it okay if we wear them to the interview?

official ladyblogger: Of course!

Chat Noir: And I mean, you can keep some of the profit for selling the shirts. But we were hoping that the profits could go toward a local LGBT charity.

official ladyblogger: I don't need any of the money. I'm just so grateful to you guys for letting me take part in this.

Chat Noir: Wow, thank you! Are you sure?

official ladyblogger: completely.

Chat Noir: That's amazing, and that means so much to us. Thank you so much, Alya. 100% of the profits will go toward charity and that's amazing.

carapeace: she's great, isn't she?

Chat Noir: She is! 

 

Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger

official ladyblogger: AAAAAAAAA

marinette's sew cool: what is it this time?

official ladyblogger: i'm great

marinette's sew cool: duh! :)

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

Chat Noir: thanks for everything, chlo. <3 

bee-you-tiful: what? i didn't do anything.

 

#general

ace of cats: now that that's sorted

ace of cats: let me tell you about how my mother fell in love with a door-to-door toilet paper salesman

 

Chapter Text

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue

official ladyblogger: It's here! Thank you all so much for appearing on my blog. Here's the link to the interview, as well as the link to the merch shop: [link] [link]

[link 1: A link to a blog post titled "TEAM MIRACULOUS COMING OUT INTERVIEW", with a video at the top of the page.

The video shows the five superheroes, four of whom are sitting on Alya's living room couch. Each of the heroes is wearing their sexuality shirt, gifted to them by Chat Noir, over their suit. Chat Noir is sitting on the arm of the couch, and looks thrilled by it. The rest of the heroes all sit like normal people. Queenie is next to Chat, and Ladybug is between her and Carapace. Rena Rouge sits on a chair, apart from the others, looking a little nervous, and Carapace offers her a smile. Queen Bee and Ladybug look varying degrees of exhausted.

"What's up, Ladybloggers!" Alya may not be able to be seen in the frame, but her voice is unmistakable. It is obvious that she is the one holding the phone. "Today I'm with all five superheroes from Team Miraculous for a special interview. In fact, they were the ones who requested this interview, and I was more than happy to oblige."

Ladybug is the first hero to speak. "Thank you so much for having us, Alya," she greets warmly. "While we don't like giving out identity information, the most important thing to us is that we do our best to keep Paris and her people safe from harm. While this is most obvious through us fighting akumas..."

"Screw Hawkmoth," Queen Bee mutters.

"...We are here to help the people of this city in other ways, too," Ladybug finishes. "And one way we wanted to do this was to show the LGBT people of Paris that they have our support. We also wanted to show them that they are not alone. We will absolutely not tolerate homophobia in our city. We'd feel that way even if we weren't all LGBT ourselves."

"Does that mean..." Alya trails off. "Does that have something to do with the shirts you're wearing?"

"Yes, actually!" Carapace grins. "Chat Noir made these for us after we had a team discussion about our sexualities." He straightens out his shirt to show it off. "I'm demisexual, which is on the asexuality spectrum, which is why my shirt is a pun on 'ace'. For those who don't know, that means that I don't feel sexual attraction until I've formed a close bond with someone. I can't give out the details, but I didn't fall for Rena until we'd spent a good amount of time together."

"Very close together," Rena adds with a wink. She stands up to proudly display her own shirt. "I'm pansexual, meaning that I like people of any gender. It's pretty close to bisexuality, but I don't take gender into account. I know some people who feel the same way I do identify more closely with bisexuality, and that's okay too! I just prefer the term pansexual because it feels like a better fit. I've been known to have crushes on people of all genders. Gender's a social construct, anyway."

"I'm actually pansexual, too!" Alya says. She reaches out to give Rena an air high five. Rena gladly returns it. "To be honest, even though I'm very happy with my boyfriend, being asked to interview so many of my past crushes is kind of surreal."

"Who?" Queen Bee asks.

"Queenie," Ladybug scolds. "She may not want to say that for all of her followers to hear. That's private information."

"Nah, it's okay." Alya brushes it off. "I'm pretty chill about talking about my crushes. I'm not exactly subtle when I tell my boyfriend how hot Ladybug is."

Ladybug turns suspiciously pink.

"Sorry for leaving you out, Chat Noir and Queen Bee," Alya says. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're both gorgeous, but you two aren't really my type. I mean I've certainly thought about it and I wouldn't say no if either of you were to ask me out - sorry, Nino - but at first, I only had eyes for Ladybug. Then Rena Rouge came along and I had to rethink everything because let's be honest. She's probably even more attractive than Ladybug."

Ladybug chokes.

"Are you okay?" Chat Noir asks. "Jealous, m'lady? You know I only have eyes for you."

"Ugh." Ladybug rolls her eyes as Alya continues.

"But then Carapace came onto the scene and I realized he was probably the most attractive of you all. But this isn't about my sexuality. I want to hear more about yours. Queen Bee?"

Queen Bee stands up and strikes a pose. Chat Noir looks like he's trying not to laugh. "I'm bi," Queen Bee says with a proud smile. "I was in denial about it for a while. I was so ridiculously convinced I was straight. I thought I had a crush on my childhood best friend but it turned out I was just lonely."

"Mood," Chat Noir says vehemently.

"Eventually I realized I was actually crushing on a girl in my class. I know I haven't treated that well. She was my enemy through most of our childhood, but it took me until this year to realize that it was mostly me treating her horribly while she just took it. She started standing up for herself this year, though, and that's when I realized I had a crush on her. She was my bi awakening."

Chat Noir's eyes go wide as she finishes talking.

"Like I said, I'll be the first to admit that I've treated people poorly in the past. But I'm working on it! Which isn't on topic for the interview, sorry. But I am working on it."

Chat pats Queen Bee's arm.

"Thank you for the candor, Queen Bee," Alya says. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that you've proven yourself to be a good person."

"I've proven Queen Bee to be a good person," Queen Bee corrects. "My civilian identity... I'm still working on it."

Chat swats her arm. "Stop talking about yourself like that."

She sticks out her tongue. "Oh yeah, you're one to talk!"

Ladybug lets out a long-suffering sigh. "I'm bisexual as well," she says. "Not much to say there. I'm pretty secure in my identity, and I'm lucky to have such supportive family and friends."

"And I'm asexual," Chat Noir says. "At least, I think I am. So to all of you who are questioning your identities right now... you're not alone. But asexual seems like the right description for me at the moment. I mean, I don't really want to talk about sex considering we're family friendly heroes..."

"Chat won't even say (BEEP)," Queen Bee adds with a grin.

Chat blushes at hearing Queen Bee's swear. "...but I'm a pretty sex-repulsed ace. I'm not aromantic, though. I'm not entirely sure of my romantic identity? I've still got some of my identity to discover."

"Thank you all for being so upfront about your sexualities," Alya says. "This is... wow. I can say that it means a lot to me as a civilian to see that the heroes saving Paris are just like me. That I'm not alone. And I'm sure I'm not the only one."

"That's what we're here for," Ladybug says with a smile. "Thank you for agreeing to do this, Alya."

"Of course! Thank you, Ladybug. Do you mind if I ask a few more questions?"

"Go ahead! We reserve the right to refuse them, though."

"That's fair," Alya acknowledges. "To start out: without naming any names, would anyone like to follow up Queen Bee and speak a little about their crushes?"

Ladybug turns red. Chat Noir looks at her. Rena smiles softly at Carapace.

"Shelly over here is my boyfriend," she says. "Dating someone of the opposite gender doesn't make me heterosexual. We're both queer and completely in love with each other. At least, I hope he's completely in love with me," she adds slyly.

Carapace turns red, too. "I am," he assures her. "But did you have to call me Shelly on camera? Alya, please edit that out."

The camera doesn't have to pan to Alya's expression. Carapace's groan says enough.

"Ladybug? Chat Noir?"

"Well..." Ladybug lets out a long breath. "There's this boy I know in civilian life. Like Rena said, that doesn't mean I'm not bi. I hated him at first thanks to a misunderstanding, but I fell in love with him when he took the time to clear it up. He's super sweet and beautiful and friendly," she gushes. "I won't say any more than that, in case some jerks out there start claiming to be my crush. I don't think he even realizes I exist."

"How could anyone not realize you exist?" Chat Noir looks at her with a soft smile. "I'm sure he notices you a lot more than you realize."

Ladybug shrugs. "Maybe. I mean, I think we're friends? He's friends with pretty much everyone in the... err..." She scrambles but ends up just trailing off. "He's pretty oblivious, though."

"He sounds wonderful, Ladybug," Alya says. "I hope he notices you. Like Chat Noir said, it's a crime that he doesn't. Speaking of Chat Noir..."

Chat laughs. "Once I've figured out how to tell the difference between a romantic crush and a friend crush, I'll let you know." But his gaze does slide over to Ladybug.

"All right then," Alya agrees. "How about celebrity crushes?"

"Oh, that's easy," Ladybug says with a blush. "Adrien Agreste."

Carapace snaps and points to her, and Rena Rouge nods in agreement.

"Absolutely," Queen Bee adds. 

Chat buries his face in his hands.

Taking pity on him, Queen Bee adds," And Ladybug."

"Is it a celebrity crush if she's my superhero partner?" Chat Noir wonders aloud. His face is slightly red, for some reason. Ladybug turns as red as her suit.

"I don't know," Rena muses. "I'll count it. And it goes for me, too. Sorry, Carapace."

He smiles good-naturedly. "Nah, it's cool, dude. I totally get it."

"Oh my god," Ladybug says into her hands.

Alya chuckles. "Well, I think this is as good a place to end this interview. Does anyone have any advice to add before we go?"

"Don't talk about your crushes in an interview that's going to be posted on the public internet," Ladybug mumbles.

"Mood," the other four heroes say.

"And I guess... stay true to yourself? I know life sucks right now. I can't promise it'll get better, because I don't know that it will. But... hang in there. It's okay if you're not out, and it's okay if you can't be out right now. Please take care of yourselves. And remember that we may be heroes, but we're just like you. And we're always here for you."

"I can't think of anything else to add to that," Chat Noir says. "Except that you should always listen to Ladybug."

"Damn right."

"Thank you all so much again," Alya says. "Ladybloggers, if you like the shirts they're wearing, you can get prints of them in the Ladyblog merch store. 100% of the proceeds go to a local LGBT charity, so you should really check it out."

"The merch is entirely endorsed by us," Ladybug says. "Chat Noir designed them, and we thought they were so cute that they should be shared with the world. Alya is incredibly generous to let us give all of the earnings to charity. Please give her some love."

Alya finally flips the camera to herself. She's blushing. "Thanks, Ladybloggers. Peace out!"]

[link 2: A link to the merchandise page of the Ladyblog, with a banner at the top that reads "OFFICIAL Team Miraculous Merch!"]

Chat Noir: That's so exciting! Thank you so much, Alya!

carapeace: whyyyyy didn't you delete shelly

official ladyblogger: :)

 

#general

ace of cats: guys, i've been scrolling through the comments on the interview and most of them are super supportive!

ace of cats: i know that we did this to help other people. but it's really helped me, too.

ace of cats: so many of the people in the comments are ace like me! and they're all saying how much they relate to what i was saying and aaaa it makes it feel real, you know?

ace of cats: like i'm not faking it. like i really am ace.

ladybi: <3

ace of cats: i think we aced this interview. :3

ladybi: you know, usually the puns bother me but i can't be mad at this one

foxy older sister: we love you chat

queen bi: i know right? it was super fulfilling. maybe it'll give me the courage to come out in my civilian life sometime soon

queen bi: i mean i've been considering it. i've just been... kind of scared to be honest

ace of cats: you know i support you no matter what, queenie. and that goes for everyone here. <3

queen bi: i mean duh you've known i was bi longer than anyone else has

queen bi: but thanks <3 that means a lot

foxy older sister: if anyone makes fun of you or gives you trouble for it i'll fight them

carapACE: and i won't stop her

ladybi: and i'll tape it and send footage of alya to post on the ladyblog to prove that homophobia is not okay

ladybi: but please don't feel like you have to come out. it's okay if it isn't safe to

queen bi: i think my dad may be okay with it. he loves me a lot

foxy older sister: does he know that chat is ace?

ace of cats: no, i haven't told him. i don't think he'd take it well because i think he's hoping i'll continue on the family line or something.

carapACE: :(

ladybi: please stay safe, both of you

queen bi: i mean i don't think a door-to-door toilet paper salesman has much room to talk about what we choose to do with our lives

foxy older sister: rethyjuktreyhjrtwyjrgfd

carapACE: fair

foxy older sister: i still can't get over that

ace of cats: hey, he's a rich door-to-door toilet paper salesman, don't forget.

ace of cats: don't do him dirty like that

ladybi: that has different connotations because of his occupation 

queen bi: well to be fair our dad can be s***

foxy older sister: wait why'd you bleep it out

queen bi: chat noir

carapACE: wait what about chat noir

queen bi: i mean don't get me wrong his mind isn't entirely clean considering he grew up with the internet and anime but he's almost two years younger than me so i have to protect him

foxy older sister: she protec

foxy older sister: she attac

foxy older sister: but most importantly she got her brother's bac

ace of cats: :3

ladybi: wait if chat noir's two years younger does that mean you've already finished with physics and if so can you help me

queen bi: nah

ace of cats: we're actually in the same grade! i skipped ahead thanks to homeschooling

carapACE: ...what

foxy older sister: oh my god

ladybi: wait what

ladybi: chat noir does this mean you're thirteen

ace of cats: i turned fourteen at the start of the school year!

foxy older sister: oh my GOD

foxy older sister: he's a BABY

queen bi: wait did you not know this

ladybi: no???

ace of cats: it's not that much of an age difference 3:

ladybi: this explains So Much

ace of cats: what does that mean??

ladybi: you'll find out when you're older

ace of cats: rude

 

Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir

bee-you-tiful: i can't believe you and ladybug have both lied about your ages you deserve each other

 

#general

ace of cats: so what's everyone's hogwarts house?

ladybi: slytherin

ace of cats: tbh i'm not surprised

queen bi: heck yes ladybug and i are dormmates

foxy older sister: chat noir's a baby third year

foxy older sister: one of the oldest in third year sure but a baby third year

foxy older sister: he doesn't even have to worry about his OWLs

ace of cats: i'm not that young!

foxy older sister: i'm a gryffindor lmao

ladybi: hmm you'd make a good ravenclaw too

foxy older sister: so would you tbh

carapACE: have you guys seen the sorting hat chats? those are legit. they just came out with a quiz too

ace of cats: ooh

carapACE: i'm a hufflepuff

ace of cats: !!!

ace of cats: me too!!

carapACE: it suits you

ladybi: i can see it! you'd make a good ravenclaw too though, considering you skipped two grades

ace of cats: to be fair, ravenclaws being studious is a stereotype. hufflepuffs are the hardworking ones while ravenclaws are the messes that hyperfixate on things and forget about their homework

ace of cats: which i mean does sound like me a lot of the time

ladybi: wow mood

foxy older sister: chat noir is a BABY HUFFLEPUFF

ace of cats: carapace is in hufflepuff too! why isn't he a baby hufflepuff?

foxy older sister: because he's not freaking thirteen years old

ace of cats: i'm fourteen!

foxy older sister:  baby