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Don't ask again

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Sam laughs.
His laughter has always been open and lively. It's one of the things that Dean has always loved most, when his little brother laughs: the world seems to him less ugly.
They're talking about old things, it happened at least a million years ago: firsts cooked at school and Dean has a lot of fun when he learns that Sam had a crush on the English teacher, the last year of high school or more nerd than school.
"Now it's my turn ..."
"What do you want to know?"
Sam licks his lips and asks, "Have you ever really been in love once?"
Dean squeezes the steering wheel tightly, until his knuckles turn white and without looking at Sam, he says in an almost harsh tone: "Once and never ... did he ever know" "What a bad thing" "And if you go back would you tell him?"
"I don't know ... it depends," Dean answers with a shrug.
Instead he would have done it if he had anything, many times, but the person who is next to him, every day, does not know it and will never know it.
"Ok, the topic is starting to get boring"
Sam looks at him curiously and a little confused.
But then he looks away.
Dean raises the music and the Ac / Dc fill the cockpit of the Impala.