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Felled by his hand

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His burning skin cooled by angels
Swallowing sorrows excretion
It’s all excretion
Felled by his hand
-from Last Call by Patti Smith


Crowley heard the soft rustle of Aziraphale closing his book, setting it down, and standing from his chair in the corner of the room. He kept his eyes closed and listened as his angel padded behind him, stopping to pick an object up off the nightstand. Crowley let his eyes flutter open. Aziraphale wasn’t in his line of sight but he had a few guesses as to what he had in his hand. Earlier that evening the angel had dressed down to his shirt and trousers. He had carefully rolled his sleeves up and set his bowtie aside. Crowley loved him like this, with only his capable forearms and neck exposed. Barely-visible tufts of downy hair covered his arms and a bit of chest. Crowley thought about Aziraphale’s hands. He’d stared at them all afternoon. It had been a lazy Sunday spent watching his husband turn the pages of his much-loved copy of John Keats’ collected poems. They had been friends during Keats’ brief time on Earth and Crowley could sense the fondness radiating from Aziraphale as he flitted his eyes across the lines of Endymion. Some hours after the sun had set he watched Aziraphale lift a delicate teacup to his pink lips before looking up at Crowley.

“How would you like to play out a scene tonight, dear? Nothing too intense.” Crowley had swallowed hard. “Only if you’re up for it, of course.” After spending hours watching Aziraphale he was more than up for it.

“That uh, that sounds great, angel. You take the lead.” His eyes glanced toward the stairs to their bedroom and Aziraphale smiled warmly.

How could anyone be so soft, so demure, yet so confident and powerful? Only Aziraphale could pull it off, decided Crowley. As he came to this conclusion, he saw the angel’s feet, clad in tartan socks, stop in front of him. He let out a breath of excitement.

At present, Crowley was stark naked and belly-down on an ornate Oriental rug at the foot of their bed. His arms were crossed hands-to-elbows behind his back, held firmly in place by a single length of hemp rope. Aziraphale had carefully wrapped several feet of rope around each of Crowley’s thighs, securing them in a frogtie so his heels kissed his arse. He could feel his arms rise and fall with his breath. He looked up at his angel with adoring eyes.

Aziraphale kneeled before Crowley, “Hello darling,” he gazed down at Crowley affectionately, “you look magnificent.”

Crowley did look beautiful. His form was suited for this type of activity, long and flexible enough to comfortably hold the form longer than most could. His firey hair was pulled into a bun but several strands had already fallen to frame his face. Aziraphale lifted Crowley’s chin with his hand and peered into his lover’s saffron eyes. Crowley looked up at him as though he had already missed him. Truthfully, he had. Aziraphale could see that Crowley was already headed to that place of quiet centeredness he always found when they played. His eyes fluttered from open to half-shut and back again. He’d been tied an hour prior and left to sink into the feeling of the rope and the position. Aziraphale had set the room itself to play ambient beats as he read from the corner, stealing more than the occasional glance of his sweet, immobilized demon.

Crowley’s eyes moved to see that Aziraphale had two items in the hand that wasn’t holding his face up. “I have some questions, dear.” A shiver of anticipation ran down Crowley’s spine. He knew what Aziraphale would ask him and he knew what would come after. He was coming out of his silent solitude, excitement building for whatever Aziraphale had planned, ready to embrace his connection with the angel. He wiggled under his bonds. Aziraphale chuckled softly, kindly. “Impatient are we dear? Alright, I’ll get on with it. How are you feeling, are the ropes too tight? Too rough? Misplaced?”

“Nnn, ever’thin’ ‘s good.”

“Wonderful. Alright, now how do you feel darling? Are you still ok mentally? If things have changed since I tied you u-”

“Good, angel. Good.” Crowley was enjoying himself. He truly wasn’t in any discomfort and he wasn’t feeling self destructive in the least. He felt both weightless and incredibly grounded at once. He liked being restrained by Azirpahale’s capable hands. It was comforting, like his angel wrapped him in a cocoon made just for him. He looked up at azure eyes and smiled. “‘m good, angel.”

“Ah, excellent. That’s a good pet,” Azirpahale cooed as he brushed his thumb over Crowley’s jaw. He let go of Crowley’s face and leaned over him, placing a small, bright yellow rubber duck between his right palm and left elbow. Crowley squirmed. “Alright dear, with your left hand, show me green.” Crowley stuck out his thumb. “Mhm, and yellow,” Crowley dutifully added his pointer finger. “Now red my love.” Crowley added his middle finger. “Perfect, darling. Now, give me pause” Crowley nodded and squeezed the duck twice. It made a shrill squeaking noise. Aziraphale could sense his impatience. He chuckled, “Now, dear we’re almost done.” He brushed his fingertips between Crowley’s shoulder blades causing him to shudder, the slight sensation traveling through his entire body. “Guh, you’re a tease Angel.”

“Mhm, now give me stop.” Crowley squeezed the duck three times, “I can’t believe you bought this thing,” he mumbled into the carpet.

“Ah, well,” Aziraphale blushed, “I thought it was cute.”

You’re cute,” he teased with a smile.

Aziraphale chuckled and brought the other item up to Crowley’s face and lifted his chin once more. “Ready, love?” Crowley nodded enthusiastically, “Yes, pleasssse, get on with it angel.” Aziraphale held Crowley’s jaw and leaned down to give him a deep, possessive kiss. Crowley melted, taking in the jasmine sweetness and subtle musk of his cologne. Aziraphale pulled away gently and saw Crowley’s eyes flicker with love and desire.

"Open," Aziraphale tapped his jaw lightly. Crowley opened his mouth and Aziraphale fitted the bar gag to rest firmly between his teeth, securing the buckle at the back of his neck. Crowley’s eyes smiled up at Aziraphale and he gave a small moan. Fuck, I love you he thought.

Aziraphale began where Crowley could see him. He brushed back a rebellious strand of his demon’s hair and tucked it behind his ear before placing a single, chaste kiss on the top of his head. The angel guided Crolwey’s face to rest on the floor. Crowley waited in curiosity and want for what Aziraphale would do next as he moved behind him. His angel began to run soft and precious fingertips over Crowley’s skin. He started at his shoulder blades then moved down to paint love over the undersides of his arms, grazing over neat lines of rope.

He dragged his fingers softly up and down his arms, stopping once to rub circles in the palm that wasn’t holding a toy duck. Crowley whimpered into the floor. Aziraphale was setting his skin on fire. He was barely touching him and it felt like his skin was trying to leap up to meet Aziraphale’s touch. He could feel a small flicker of Heaven spark out onto his skin and he tried to jump but the ropes and Aziraphale’s steady palms kept him still, spreading the stinging buzz back through his body. He let out a groan. As Aziraphale teased, lighting up his skin like Christmas, Crowley felt his cunt pulsing.

Aziraphale hummed, “I love you like this, my dear. All mine, laid out just for me.” Crowley whimpered and wriggled his serpentine hips. Aziraphale chuckled softly, “In good time, my boy. You might regret asking.” Crowley groaned into his gag. Aziraphale was smiling, gazing down, running his fingertips as softly as he could over Crowley’s skin. He’d worked his way down to Crowley’s inner thighs and Crowley could feel himself getting slick inside, his cunt craving the angel’s attention. Knowing he wouldn’t be getting any quite yet made the want even stronger. Aziraphale slid his whole palm gently up Crowley’s right inner thigh and stopped right under his cunt. He squeezed, his thumb sneaking closer to Crowley’s heat. He let out a quiet noise of desire, “I love how you get so wet for me.” Crowley whined into his gag. He was beginning to drool over his chin now and relished at not having to worry about talking. Words were quickly fading from his mind.

Aziraphale stilled his hand. He was resisting his urge to move his thumb up to pet over Crowley’s soaked labia. He could imagine the wet heat of him covering his fingers, his muscles gripping him, his body begging for more. He took a breath, centered himself, and reached his other hand to grip Crowley’s left thigh. Crowley let out a gentle sob, his eyebrows curving as if to say “please?” but Aziraphale wasn’t ready to give in yet. He produced a bottle of massage oil and began to pour it over Crowley’s arse. He kneaded Crowley’s tense muscles, enjoying the muffled sounds that quickly came from his demon. Mine, he thought, he’s really all mine. His heart jumped. He began working the heels of his palms into Crowley’s muscled arse and up his lower back. As he moved, every part of Crowley tempted a different reaction from Aziraphale: his thighs made the angel want to sink his fingers into his hot cunt, his arse made him think about burying his face in his lover, and his hips begged him to hold on firmly and drill his cock into him. He let himself wander through the urges, let them wash over him while keeping to his task of lighting the demon up. He wanted him relaxed but on fire. He wanted to make Crowley think he was nothing more than a network of nerves, every one turned up to the max.

“And how did I end up with Earth’s most skillful tempter under my hands like this, darling?” Aziraphale teased.

“Mmmmmph,” Crowley considered the question, thought something like you’re a right bastard angel, but all he managed was a groan. He lifted his hips, grinding his shoulders into the rug, begging for more.

“Now dear, if you don’t stay still, I’ll have to restrain you further, you know.” Crowley considered misbehaving for a long moment. Finally, he decided to obey Aziraphale. He had been kind enough to leave him accessible and seemed keen on taking full advantage but if Crowley pressed his luck he might end up with his legs bound together like a preacher’s daughter and he’d rather discorporate than go another minute without his angel’s hands all over him. How Aziraphale had the strength to restrain himself was beyond Crowley.

Aziraphale continued his work massaging up Crowley’s back as the demon writhed under his touch. “Excitable today are we dear?” Aziraphale asked with a coy smirk.

Crowley nodded faintly, his eyes clamped shut. “Mphhh”

“Ah, I didn’t quite get that.” The angel said as he dug both his thumbs back into Crowley’s inner thighs. The demon was shaking now, his body begging the angel for more, anything, something.

“You’ve been wanting this all day, haven’t you dear?” Aziraphale was almost taunting now and it was unraveling Crowley completely. He loved how nonchalant Aziraphale was during their scenes. He loved how controlled and calm but never harsh (unless he needed him to be) his angel became. And he loved that he was his angel. When he let Aziraphale tie him, it felt as though they were the only two beings in existence. The world went quiet and all he could hear were the words coming from Aziraphale’s sweet lips. All he could feel were the ropes carefully holding his limbs in place and his angel’s skin on his own. He let out a desperate groan as Aziraphale grazed his thumb over Crowley’s slick outer labia, cruelly avoiding his hard, throbbing clit. Crowley bucked his hips up again.

“Hm, I think you’ll get what you’ve asked for then, dear.” Aziraphale threatened as he grabbed Crowley by the hips and hoisted him up to his knees. Crowley whimpered. His shoulder dug into the floor and he tried to catch a glimpse of Aziraphale out of the corner of his eye. It wouldn’t be an easy position to hold but it was clear now that Aziraphale was planning to take full advantage of him tonight. As soon as Crowley had finished his thought Aziraphale ran a lube-slicked hand over Crowley’s pulsing cunt. Crowley sobbed into his gag when the angel reached his clit. Aziraphale took Crowley’s clit between his pointer and middle fingers as though he was delicately holding a cigarette, palm down. Crowley bit down on his gag, using all his strength to hold still. Aziraphale took a moment to appreciate the vision posed before him. How lucky he was to hold Crowley in his hands like this. He wished he could hold him tight all day. In a way, the ropes were an extension of himself, a way of holding Crowley together when he couldn’t be everywhere at once. Right now, Crowley needed him where he was. He squeezed his fingers together and Crowley screamed into the gag, a shock of pleasure traveling through his body. Aziraphale took his left hand and petted over Crowley’s arse before bringing it down swiftly with a smack. Crowley felt the stinging pain travel through him and his cunt pulsed. “Mmmmph,” he groaned. He tried to say more but the gag and his dizzy mind filtered the request into a needy whine but Aziraphale got the point. He began to move his hand up and down, rubbing Crowley’s clit firmly between his fingers. The demon bucked mindlessly, helping Aziraphale’s pace.

Aziraphale brought his hand down again and again as Crowley’s arse turned bright pink and his clit grew harder. Crowley was shaking when Aziraphale asked, “Can you come for me, my darling?”

Crowley nodded frantically against the rug, his brow furrowed. He whimpered and bucked back as Aziraphale brought his hand down on his arse before squeezing. His fingers worked over Crowley’s clit deftly and steadily. Crowley felt a heat building in his cunt that he let travel through his body before he gave into the orgasm. With his arms tied behind his back, his skin was on fire with awareness. His orgasm took him like a wave crashing over a craggy shore. Aziraphale didn’t stop his movements and Crowley felt the falling sensations crest again. He was shuddering, over-sensitive, and losing awareness of anything other than the angel’s hands on him. He screamed into his bit, biting down in a desperate attempt to find something to hold on to. Under Aziraphale’s unrelenting hands he felt himself coming a third time, almost falling back onto his belly as Aziraphale caught him by the hips.

The angel’s cock was aching, pressed against his thigh. The sight of his demon’s triple orgasm and the sensation of his hand on his hot cunt was threatening to cause him to lose his composure.

He dug his fingers into Crowley’s hips, pulling him up. “Not yet darling, we’re not done.” Aziraphale returned his attention to the scene. He pulled his hands away and the demon whined.

Crowley wondered what Aziraphale had in mind as he felt the angel wrap another length of rope around his waist. He brought the rope down between Crowley’s legs and secured it on the belt above his arse. Crowley groaned into the gag as the ropes grazed his heat. Aziraphale produced a wand massager and fitted it into the belt, pushed against Crowley’s cunt. He took a final rope and secured the wand to Crowley’s thigh with four neat rows of rope. Crowley wouldn’t be wriggling away this time.

The demon gave a moan that was almost a whine and Aziraphale took the opportunity to check in. “Can I have a color, dear?”

Crowley held out his thumb and nodded with another whimper. He was getting further into his head, that still and quiet place that he could only find under Aziraphale’s hands. He felt so safe, so cared for, and so vulnerable. As his emotional walls faded he could relax into himself.

“Ah, lovely,” Aziraphale smiled. He bent to place a kiss on Crowley’s inner thigh and let out a low growl. The scent and heat of him went straight to Aziraphale’s cock and he gave in briefly, opening his mouth to bite down and suck a mark into his love. Crowley let out a sublime moan and Aziraphale pulled away.

“Darling if you don’t stop making noises like that I’m likely to come in my trousers,” Aziraphale remarked. Suddenly, the wand clicked on and Crowley thought he might discorporate. His body was already oversensitive and coasting on post-orgasm endorphins and now his body shook as strong vibrations pushed through his cunt to the very core of him.

Aziraphale wanted Crowley unraveled. The farther out of control he was, the quieter his mind. Calming his anxious demon was always the greatest reward.

“That’s my beautiful love. You’re the prettiest demon in all of Hell, you know?”

Crowley tried to retort, tried to tell Aziraphale that was just on account of his skillful imagination and lack of an amphibian as a hat but all that came out was an indignant grunt.

Aziraphale chuckled. The wand continued to buzz on, lighting Crowley’s cunt up with sensation. His eyes were clamped shut and his toes flexed in their position over his arse. “You’re so sweet, too. I’m supposed to be the angel but you give me a run for my money, I do say." He ran his fingertips down Crowley's spine, eliciting a shiver from the demon. He’d already come twice since Aziraphale clicked the device on. Aziraphale didn’t let up on his praise even as he saw Crowley’s eyes widen as another orgasm crashed into his body. "I’ve never even met another angel as nice as you my dear. Some humans have come close but they never quite meet your brilliance. You shine like a star my love.”

Crowley was shaking his head, unable to argue and hardly able to focus as his body shook through yet another orgasm. This time he did fall onto his belly but Aziraphale had predicted this and miracled a pillow under his hips to lessen the bruising. Aziraphale let him stay down this time, knowing his thighs wouldn’t hold him through another one. He clicked the wand one setting higher as Crowley keened, eyes rolling back.

“You are the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen, dear. So sweet, so loving. You always bring me my favorite pastries and buy the right tea. You’re always thinking of me, I know it.” Crowley exhaled in another attempted protest, even weaker than the last. His cheeks had flushed a bright red with exertion and that specific kind of embarrassment that comes with being seen and known and loved. His cunt was on fire. By all reason he should have gone numb but he had a suspicion Aziraphale had spared a minor miracle to make sure that couldn’t happen, bastard.

“But do you know something my dear boy? I’m thinking of you, too. All day. If you aren’t in the shop, I hope you’re enjoying yourself as you play your demonic games. When you are here I steal glances as often as I can." The angel’s hand smoothed over Crowley's free thigh, up to his arse. "When you sleep I watch you dream and when you toss about I pull you into my arms, wishing to the world to be able to comfort you.” Crowley considered this, remembering his frequent nightmares and all the nights he had woke up gasping alone in his 6000 years. It had been years now since he'd been so alone.

Crowley was sobbing, tears streaming down his face as he took in Azirpahale’s words. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to deserve him. But he felt the sickness in himself. He felt his soul was coated in black tar and ash. There is no amount of angelic love that could cleanse his past. He had seen the most horrific acts, sat frozen and done nothing to stop them. He had been touched by the hands of sin, taken as a thing to be sullied. And that is what he was, full of sickness and rot. He couldn’t possibly deserve Aziraphale.

“AAAAAAAugggggh” Crowley screamed as another orgasm slammed through his body, tears streaming down his face. How many was that? He’d lost count a while back. He was sure he couldn’t come again but now the burning of his nerves wasn’t subsiding. His entire body was shaking and heaving with sensation and his sobs.

“That’s it, dear, you’re safe. I’m here, I’m here.” Aziraphale moved so Crowley could see him clearly. He petted his cheek and hushed, brushing away tears.

Seeing Aziraphale hovering over him sent pangs stronger than the burning of his clit to his heart. His love was entirely bittersweet. Azirpahale was the most remarkable, most magnificent, most beautiful thing he had ever known. He loved him and he was so glad to have him but he couldn’t believe that he deserved him. He screamed through his pain, biting down on his gag. The suffering felt as though it was being purged from his soul. As his body shook, his throat became raspy from his screams.

Aziraphale kept a close eye on Crowley’s hands for any sign he needed it to stop. He was aware that this part was always difficult and he wouldn’t put Crowley through anything he didn’t want experience. He knew he needed the chance to cry and scream and release the horrors of his past. But he also knew it was a dark place to be. He needed to pass through a final barrier of trauma before he found the calm in the eye of the storm. He would be exhausted after this and sleep through the next two days. Aziraphale wouldn’t leave his side, ensuring he was right there when Crowley woke. He would never be alone again.

Crowley’s body began to relax as screams turned to soft sobs and pants. He looked up at Azirpahale, eyes begging his angel to come closer. He looked lost and desperate and vulnerable. Aziraphale switched off the toy.

“I need a color, sweetheart.”

Crowley stuck out his thumb weakly. Aziraphale worried for a moment whether his ropes were too tight, causing his hands to go numb. He was probably just spent, but he should check. He removed the duck momentarily and placed two fingers in each of Crowley’s palms. “Squeeze.” Crowley obeyed, his grip unchanged, strong as ever. “Alright, do your ties feel ok?” Crowley nodded but his eyes were still begging, tears streaming down flushed cheeks. Aziraphale replaced the duck and kissed the center of Crowley’s top palm. He almost began to sob again but Aziraphale moved to sit next to him and he felt truly and completely safe.

He was on the edge of the calm. He could see it but he needed something else. Aziraphale set a pillow next to his thigh and lifted Crowley’s head to rest on it. He took Crowley’s hair out of its elastic and ran his fingers through his copper waves. Crowley sighed and let his eyes close as Aziraphale began to massage his scalp. “I adore you, Crowley. So much.” He leaned to switch the toy on again. Crowley’s body had been given just enough time to regain sensation. He shuddered but he didn’t move away from the vibrations, grinding slightly back into the head of the toy so that it was centered on his clit. He felt the velvet-soft pillow on his cheek and chest. Azirpahale’s fingers were working over his scalp affectionately, saying I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, you’re safe. It didn’t take long before another orgasm began to build in his abdomen. He rocked against the toy, chasing the sensation, chasing the weightlessness that came with total submission. His body was under Aziraphale’s control. He was taking care of him, giving him exactly what he needed. Aziraphale would bring his salvation if only he could find that pool of calm within himself. His overstimulated body rocked through an excruciating orgasm, eyes rolling to the back of his head under Aziraphale’s soft hand.

Aziraphale’s heart jumped at the sight. “You are such an exquisitely celestial creature, my dear. I’d really do anything to make you feel safe and loved, you know.” And Crowley did know. He believed him. He didn’t understand why, but he believed him. As the wand continued its dogged vibrations on his cunt, he felt himself falling through a black tunnel. His physical corporation felt weightless, every nerve overstimulated to the point of confusion. His mind was spiraling, scrambling for calm. He could see the promise of reprieve. “My bright star,” Aziraphale crooned adoringly.

As though he had taken a wrong turn in the labyrinth of his mind, he suddenly felt overwhelming terror. It started at the back of his mind, threatening to take center stage. It was a primal, full-body, wordless fear that held his chest like a vice. He was suddenly too aware of his helplessness. He breathed through it. He’d had this happen before. He could usually walk it back. A few intrusive thoughts never hurt him before. He lived with them all day, surely he could handle them now. But soon it became apparent that he wasn’t covering as much ground as he should be. He was falling farther back into blacked-out memories that had boiled down to fear without context. He finally remembered the present scene. He remembered Aziraphale. He needed to tell him. He focused, tried to draw himself back from the pit of his mind to his physical body. He felt that ridiculous duck in his palm and used all his focus to squeeze twice.

Aziraphale was swift to act but kept calm. He turned the wand off and gently unbuckled Crowley’s gag so he could speak. “Darling,” he looked into Crowley’s heavy-lidded eyes. He was drifting in and out. “Darling, can you talk to me?” Crowley nodded weakly. He was still swimming in a space not entirely connected to his body.

“Do you need me to untie you?” Crowley shook his head ‘no.’

“Can I untie this?” he tapped the rope belt. Crowley nodded. It was best to ask, sometimes the sudden lack of compression could be shocking and frightening, like finding yourself unclothed in a strange and vast forest. Aziraphale released the knot with a fluid motion. He removed the toy from Crowley’s thigh, making sure not to move out of Crowley’s sight.

“Can you tell me what you need, my love?” Aziraphale was keeping his worry under control. This wasn’t about him, it was about Crowley and his safety.

“Zira,” Crowely coughed.

“Oh, dear, of course.” Aziraphale reached for a cup of water he had prepared for later and lifted a straw to his demon’s lips. Crowley took the cool steel straw between his burning lips and let the water soothe his throat.

“‘s okay, Zira. I'm ok."

“Thats good, dear. What can I do for you?”

A tear slid down Crowley’s cheek. Aziraphale was so attentive and patient. Surely he was disappointed the scene was interrupted. But Crowley scanned the angel and couldn't find any sign of an emotion other than genuine compassion. “You’re too good to me, angel,” he croaked.

“Never. That would be impossible.” Crowley could hear he meant it.

“I don’t know how to handle it sometimes.”

“I know.” Aziraphale felt sadness pooling in his chest. “I know. But I’m here.” Aziraphale rested his hand back into Crowley’s hair.

“Can you...can we just stay like this for a while?” Crowley pushed up into Azirpahale’s hand.

“Of course, of course darling,” Aziraphale said as he ran his fingers softly over Crowley’s head.

Crowley let the ropes comfort him as they hugged him into himself. They kept him contained when he felt like he would fall apart. He wouldn't know what to do with his body otherwise. It would feel wrong and restless. Aziraphale’s fingertips rubbed small circles in his hair. The angel hummed as Crowley’s breath returned to a steady pace.

“You are my salvation, darling. You've been so good for me.”

Crowley's tears were slowing but he shook his head "I don't know how.”/p

“Darling, don't you know? These scenes, being with you like this. It's just as much for me as it is for you. I'd never want to be selfish.

“Not possible, y’r a’ angel.”

“Well, you know how…robbed of my own agency I was? I was told what was best, how to help the humans. Even when I wasn't helping at all. You let me...well, you let me rewrite my understanding of myself. Dearheart, everything I do for you, taking care of you, I do it for me too.”

Crowley pushed his head into Aziraphale's palm again and thought of Aziraphale’s unending composure. "Angel,” his chest hiccuped, “angel you don't have to be so strong all the time.”

Aziraphale’s brow creased, “Hm,” he considered the idea, “I guess I have my own difficulties, darling. But you’re teaching me.”

“Yeah..” Crowley understood. He looked up at Aziraphale and saw something new in him. It made him feel even safer, even more loved. Aziraphale didn’t dominate because he was told to. He’d done enough of playing a character for Heaven. He did it because he wanted to and he poured himself into it. He liked taking care of Crowley and handling the difficult parts of being in a body for him. Crowley suddenly had an urge to tell the angel everything. He was laid in front of his angel, technically, on a physical level, helpless. Demonic miracles don’t work when an angel has blessed the cuffs around your wrists. On a deeper level, however, he had all the power. He could give as much of himself to Aziraphale as he wanted. He wanted. He needed to tell him.


“Yes, dear?” soft blue eyes gazed down.

“I wanna...I wanna tell you what happened.”

Oh,” Aziraphale hadn’t predicted this. It had never happened before. Crowley had needed to pause scenes but he had never shared too much of what happened. “Ok, yes, of course love.”

Crowley’s chest tightened. He was nervous but he needed to get this out. He felt the need to let Aziraphale in. “Back then, back uh, back you know,” he paused, “uhm, in Hell.”

Aziraphale was listening attentively and patiently as he mindlessly moved his hand in a comforting gesture over Crowley’s shoulder blades.

“Yeah,” get on with it Crowley thought. “He used to call me that.”

“Who--” Aziraphale knew the answer to the question before asking it. He swallowed and moved to the next, “called you what, dear?”

“He said I was a bright star. He wanted to,” Crowley swallowed, “he wanted to know what it was like to touch the light again. He said it felt like a...a ssssickness? Had taken over him and he couldn’t stop it ssspreading but maybe. But maybe if I helped he could be cleansssed and...and I did want to help.” He stopped to take a breath, “I thought maybe...maybe he was right about it? I trusted him then. He had sssstrength and power and authority and it was the thing to do. I was already there so uh, yeah. I took his invitation,” he paused to think, “which was my fault really, having---”

“No.” Aziraphale’s voice was calm yet firm. His chest tightened. “No, Crowley. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, maybe, I don’t know...anywaysssss,”

Aziraphale moved his hand back to Crowley’s hair. He wouldn’t push the issue but he needed Crowley to know.

Crowley continued, “Yeah, well, instead of me making him brighter...when he started...I could feel him, you know? Creeping into me. He was ssssso cold. He left a bit of himself there. He let me…made me hold his pain. Just a tiny bit of it. But I can feel it there, Aziraphale. Sometimes it feels like it is consuming me. Like a black hole, sucking more of me into it.”

“Oh, darling,” Aziraphale’s heart wrenched in his chest. He knew Crowley had suffered in Hell but he never liked thinking about it. He preferred to tell himself that he didn’t speculate out of respect for Crowley but the truth was that he didn’t know if he could handle it. He wanted to be able to take his pain, heal his memories but it wasn’t so simple like it was with humans. An angel can’t heal a demon and what could he do with 6000 years of memories that wouldn’t change his entire being? He worried that he had been too hard on Crowley. He worried that he had been too occupied with his own desires, missing the signs that Crowley was slipping.

Crowley could feel his angel’s guilt. He knew he was blaming himself, thinking he went too far. “It’s not your fault, Zira. You were..” Crowley’s cheeks flushed, “you were doing a good job…”

Aziraphale let out a breath. Crowley could tell he was grateful for the assurance but also surprised at how well Crowley knew him, similarly uncomfortable at the reality of being known. He sat next to Crowley, stroking his hair, letting the demon’s body relax into the floor and the gentle contact of his angel’h hand again.

After several minutes Crowley stirred, “Angel?”

“Mmm,” Aziraphale hummed, “yes dear?” He looked down to see bright eyes staring up at him.

“I uh, I want your mouth,” he murmured under Aziraphale’s hand, “please.”

Aziraphale took a moment to process the request. “Mm, of course,” he still wasn’t smiling but his voice was full of warmth and kindness, “where my love?”

Crowley’s cheeks turned red again and he mumbled into the pillow. Aziraphale lifted Crowley’s chin and met his eyes. “Words, dear. Where do you want me? Tell me what you need.” He wasn’t being cruel but he was being clear. And he knew that on some level Crowley wanted him to ask.

“I want you..I want your tongue on my clit,” he bit down on his lower lip.

Aziraphale grinned this time. “Very good, then.” He untangled his fingers from Crowley’s hair and Crowely wriggled. Aziraphale moved to grab another pillow that he placed under Crowley, propping his hips up so he wouldn’t have to hold his position this time. “Are you comfortable, dear?” He knew Crowley was tired and even though he had made it clear he wasn’t ready to stop, Aziraphale had made the decision to turn down the volume significantly. They were no longer working toward the same goal. Now, Aziraphale just needed to reconnect them, strengthen their bond so that once Crowley was released from his ropes he wouldn’t feel completely untethered. Aziraphale would be there for him. He wasn’t alone.

Aziraphale settled himself on his knees behind Crowley “Touching your thigh, darling,” Aziraphale warned before brushing the tips of his fingers over his demon’s sensitive inner thighs and over his arse. Crowley whined. He was still oversensitive from earlier but he was burning anew at the thought of Aziraphale on him, finally finding their way to skin on skin. The earlier orgasms were a means to an end but now it was just him and Aziraphale and Azirphale’s skillfully tied ropes.

"Mm...Yours,” Crowley slurred into the pillow. His thoughts had slowed back down and Aziraphale had helped him relax into his body again, allowing his mind to still under the angel’s touch. He could use the angel’s hands as an anchor. He’d always know where he was so long as Aziraphale was touching him.

"Yes, you are mine darling," Aziraphale purred. “And you know I am yours?”

“Mhm,” Crowley writhed under Aziraphale’s soft touches. “‘s why y’r so good t’ me.”

Aziraphale smiled, “I do try.” He was glad to know Crowley thought so. He lowered himself to his belly and and ran his fingertips over Crowley’s wetness. His outer labia were pink and swollen as Azirpahale leaned in to suck them. Aziraphale pulled away to run his tongue lightly over his aching demon’s overused folds. Crowley squirmed under him, “c’mon ‘ngel,” groaned Crowley.


“Don’t know ‘er.”

Aziraphale let out a curt laugh and squeezed the demon’s thigh, eliciting a decidedly adorable squeal. “I said be still, Crowley.”

Crowley’s muscles had tensed in surprise. He relaxed back into the pillows, feeling even more weightless than before. If he was honest with himself, he was happy with this. He didn’t really need anything else than to be close to Aziraphale and vulnerable around Aziraphale. But his body sure was asking for more and he stilled his hips in the hope that it would come sooner rather than later.

Aziraphale let out a hushed, hungry growl from deep in his chest. “That’s a good boy.” He flicked the tip of his tongue over Crowley’s swollen clit. When the demon let out another wail the angel lost himself in his pussy. He buried his tongue into his demon’s cunt, teasing his wet entrance.

“‘nnngel, fuck.” Crowley bucked his hips on Aziraphale’s tongue and the angel redoubled his efforts. He sucked Crowley’s swollen labia, dipped his tongue inside him, and laid a writhing tongue on his clit. Crowley mumbled something into the pillow Aziraphale couldn’t hear. He continued laving his tongue over Crowley’s hypersensitive vulva as the demon bucked back, digging his rug-burned knees into the floor. “Don’ stop, ah-” Crowley gasped, “ah, fffuck.” He couldn’t see Aziraphale but the thought of his angel’s face buried in his cunt was sending him to his edge.

Aziraphale moaned greedily into Crowley’s heat. His cock was hard again, aching untouched in his trousers. He was convinced that if he went another second untouched he might discorporate. He rubbed a palm over himself as he raised his other hand to pet over Crowley’s clit and moaned into him again. He focused on fucking Crowley with his tongue. Crowley knew he was about to tip over the edge. He wondered if he should ask and then decided he wanted to. Coming with permission always felt more intense and more intimate. “Ah, ah, angel, can I?”

Aziraphale’s cock jumped under his hand at the question. He didn’t abandon his task of fucking his tongue deep into the demon but he hummed an affirmative into Crowley’s cunt.

Azirpahale’s fingers massaging diligent circles over Crowley’s clit combined with the vibration from Aziraphale’s utterance sent him flying over the edge. His body tensed against his ropes, trying in vain to find something to hold onto. Instead, with nowhere to go but back in, his orgasm flooded his body to its core.

“FffffUCK, angel.”

Aziraphale moaned into Crowley, holding back his own orgasm by clutching the demon’s thigh desperately and focusing on working Crowley through. Crowley shook and writhed through it, cresting and falling several times before his body went slack into the pile of pillows Aziraphale had carefully built under him. As soon as he had come down he needed to see Aziraphale, to feel Aziraphale close to him. He was drifting and Aziraphale was always his tether. “Here. Come here. Please,” he pleaded in a soft, hoarse voice.

Aziraphale moved to sit in front of Crowley, wiping the back of his hand over his pink lips, “Hi darling,” he smiled softly, fondness spreading from his lips to his eyes. Crowley shuddered in adoration and felt a renewed arousal. He wondered if his body would ever be done. He doubted it, not as long as Aziraphale was here, with him, in this world, on this planet.

Now that Aziraphale was near, he could relax fully. He lowered his head and basked in the afterglow of his orgasm. As he hit the pillow he spotted Aziraphale’s cock straining against his thigh. “F’ck angel. That looks painful. Let me outta these, I’ll ‘elp you.”

Aziraphale held back a needy groan at the suggestion, holding on to his own restraint through willpower. “You don’t hav--”

“Don’t argue with me, ‘ngel.” Aziraphale had moved to unknot Crowley’s bonds as soon as he had asked. Soon, he was free of them, finding that he still carried with him the comfort the ropes had brought. Through the intensity of the night, he had in fact found his calm. Aziraphale unbent Crowley’s arms and began massaging them, encouraging the regular blood flow to return. “Does anything hurt?”

“No, angel. You’re too careful for that. And it’s not like I was up in the air like last time,” his eyes flitted to the a ring on ceiling.

Aziraphale flashed another fond grin, “Always best to make sure, dear.”

“Hey angel,” Aziraphale was still massaging Crowley’s arms and it was one of the most comforting things he’d ever felt but his mind was focused. “Angel, I want you to feel good,” he whined. Aziraphale could see the want in Crowley’s expression and for a brief moment considered toying with it. Instead, he decided they had both earned this. They needed the time together.

“Hm, only if you’re ok, dear.”

“Are you?” yellow eyes, ever quizzical, met his.

“Well,” Aziraphale looked up and sputtered, “whyever wouldn’t I be?”

“You just had to take care of both of us,” he gestured vaguely, “for like hours. Not to mention the whole, ya know...well, you’ve done a lot for me.”

He could see that Aziraphale was about to argue, to tell him it really was nothing. Crowley pointed to the bed, “Get up there, angel.” It was more teasing than demanding but Aziraphale nodded in agreement and moved to the bed, a slight blush on his cheeks as attention was suddenly turned to him. His cock was still pressed to his leg under the confines of his trousers. Now that promise of relief was on the table, his desire was beginning to fog his mind. He laid back and watched as Crowley climbed up next to him and began to unfasten his trousers. Aziraphale bucked up towards Crowley instinctively and gave a pained groan. He was relaxed into the bed and finding he was more tired than he thought.

Crowley was talking, "I've got you now. You know you're mine, too?"

"Of, co--" he gasped as Crowley wrapped a hand around his straining cock, "of course I do, of course I am. That is why---"

“Yes, that’s why.” Crowley bent down to flick his hot tongue over the flushed head of Aziraphale’s cock. The angel threw his head back with a gasp and Crowley took the opportunity to tug his trousers the rest of the way off. Aziraphale watched, trying not to look desperate and failing miserably. His demon slid back up the bed, dragging his tongue up Aziraphale’s inner thigh. Aziraphale lost all air of control then. He was still and would always be a protective force but at the moment he was also putty in Crowley’s hand as he felt slender fingers wrap around his cock. His own hand flew to Crowley’s hair, tangling his fingers into burning locks. He gripped tighter and the demon breathed out an appreciative whimper. He brushed his lips over Aziraphale’s cock before sinking his head down. Aziraphale’s hips raised as he felt Crowley’s tongue laving over the needy underside of him. He threaded his other hand into Crowley’s hair and brought him down, holding him still as he pushed into his throat. A muffled noise came from Crowley’s throat but his yellow eyes gazed up in love and hunger and gratitude and satisfaction. Aziraphale looked down at him, his chest swelling in reciprocated love. He thrust a few more times into him before he loosened his grip. Crowley pulled off him so slowly it was almost excruciating. He sat back on his heels, listening for Aziraphale’s request.

“Up here,” Aziraphale panted, “please dear?”

Crowley wanted to be pressed to his angel, to remove the space between them. He began to unbutton the angel’s shirt. "I want to feel you now, angel." He placed a hand on Aziraphale’s bare chest as he unfastened the last button.

"Yes," Aziraphale breathed. Crowley's earlier confessions still hung in his heart. He had wanted to wrap himself around the demon, protecting him, absorbing him, knowing him. "Yes, I think so." He shrugged off his shirt and laid back as Crowley slid up over his belly, straddling him, their chests pressed together. Crowley took Aziraphale's hands and placed them on his hips. The angel dug his fingers in, clutching Crowley's sharp hips.

They met in a kiss, tasting of each other and pressing closer as though they could somehow become one. Crowley began to rock his hips gently, gliding his dripping, overused vulva over Aziraphale's aching cock. Aziraphale rolled his hips to match Crowley's movements and whimpered into his mouth. They held each other, pushing closer and closer, exploring the depths of each other’s mouths, unnecessary hearts beating inches apart. Aziraphale pulled away from the kiss, his head tossing back, mouth open in a desperate moan as he rolled his hips, the friction of Crowley’s soft folds on his cock stoking the burning fire in his belly.

Crowley moved his lips to the angel’s neck, trailing his tongue over a line of sweat. He moaned into the angel's flesh, feeling his divine body tensing in anticipated release under him. Crowley sped his movements, bearing down on Aziraphale's slick heat. The angel wrapped his arms around Crowley, holding him so tightly to his chest the demon could hardly maintain his efforts. The feeling was like being tied by him: safe, contented, loved. He felt the angel’s love blanket him and heard himself declaring, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, I need you, I’m yours, thank you, I love you Aziraphale.” Crowley bit down on Azirpahale’s neck just enough to send a shock through him and the angel soon found his release. He continued to roll his hips, cock twitching, pressed between their bodies as he came. Crowley continued to grind into him and he could feel Aziraphale’s spend smeared thick between them.

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of that,” he murmured into Aziraphale’s neck.

“Wh--” Aziraphale attempted speech, still floating on the high of an orgasm held back for hours.

“You, just you angel,” he buried his face into Aziraphale’s neck.

Aziraphale felt love pouring from his core as his wings flashed into reality and engulfed them. He held Crowley tight, in a fearless protection. “I love you Crowley, you’re so beautiful, you’re so kind to me,” he murmured sleepily.

Crowley wasn’t expecting to see his husband’s wings tonight but he felt instantly comforted by the embrace. He nuzzled his head into Azirphale’s chest and rolled to his side, cleaning them both with a flick of his wrist. Aziraphale hummed an appreciative sound, completely spent and falling into sleep. Crowley took Aziraphale’s hand and brought it to his lips, brushing them over soft knuckles. He kissed his palm, “I love you too, angel. Thank you.” He rested his head back on Aziraphale’s downy chest and let his eyes close, lids heavy. He thought about all the things Aziraphale did for him and all the ways they loved and trusted each other. The unlikely pair drifted into sleep together, wrapped in the angel’s wings as though Aziraphale was saying mine, you can’t take him from me and you’ve tried. He’s mine.