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Constant, Chronic, Habitual

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Pain has been a thing in Yoongi’s life for...a while. Not forever, but a long while now. Mainly since he was hit by a car and broke his shoulder, then didn’t tell anyone out of a panicked fear that he still regretted today. It's gotten better and worse since then, spreading up his neck and down his arm and side and leg, but for the most part it's just been constant. 

 

It was unfortunate.  He shouldn’t be living the life he lives with the extent of his pain. Yet he does it anyway. It's far too late to turn back after all. And what's he going to do, just become a producer? Someday, that is what he'll do. Someday he'll be too old and the pain too much to bear, and he'll produce songs for the next generation. But not today. 

 

The physical trainers know. The doctors know. The staff know. The PDs know. The members, his partners, they all know, of course. Every involved party help him out whenever they can-- extra massages from the trainers; a heating pad against his back in the makeup chair; a hand to hold when he's waiting for pain reliever to kick in--but most days it's just about management. Yoongi is rarely pain free, so every little action matters, especially on their busier days. 

 

And even though the trainers and the doctors and therapists are doing all they can, Yoongi knows it's doubtful he'll ever be cured. It's chronic pain at this point--there’s no true cure. So on the days when he's done all that he can do and still his joints ache, he much prefers the company of his members-- his boyfriends-- to the doctor's offices and massage tables.  

 

Which brought him to today, lounging on his bed while Jin cuddled up against his tummy. The pain affected so many parts of his life-- much more than just practice and performance and travel. There were so many things he'd changed about his life that he couldn't even begin to count all of them. Just little things, habits and tendencies that he was forced to change if he wanted to live with less pain. He probably didn't even realize all of them, or couldn’t remember doing some things without considering his pain level first.

 

Exercising, travelling. Those were the obvious ones. But there were so many more—his posture, his gait, even just doing small chores around the dorm. How he got dressed, what shoes he wore, how he sat at his desk—the list never ended.   

 

His sex life, too. Which was on his mind because Jin gave him the most amazing hand job last night, gently edging Yoongi until he couldn’t take it anymore and begged Jin to let him come. He was still feeling that orgasm in his bones, which was why they were both laid up in bed on their day off, just enjoying the silence. 

 

He wasn't exactly having much sex before the car accident-- nothing that wasn't between himself and his own hand.  So, years later--when they'd all melded into their poly- whatever- it- was-- sex, like most uncharted waters, took a while to figure out. 

 

Yoongi wasn't delicate, first of all. The pain was a constant in his life but it didn't make him vulnerable, and they all learned to respect that. Treating him like glass wasn't a turn on for anyone involved.

 

Second, certain positions were infinitely more comfortable, and therefore preferred.  It wasn't like he couldn't try new things, but if Jimin and Jungkook and Taehyung wanted to get kinky they had to do it without him.  Yoongi loved their arrangement, and the orgies that were few and far between, but he was much more a voyeur on those days than a participant.  

 

Sure, he would lie on his stomach while Hoseok thrust into him from behind and he sucked Namjoon’s cock, his chest propped up on a pillow, but that was about as many partners he could get involved.  All this with the maknaes-- when Jungkook laid back with Tae and Jimin thrusting into him while Jin sat on his face-- it was too much for Yoongi. Hot as hell to watch, but too much for him physically.  

 

So third, positions that worked. Most involved him lying on his stomach-- for both giving and receiving. It was so good for slow, deep sex--which served a dual purpose because it meant he didn’t tense up his muscles accidentally. It was also a good position for sucking cock, keeping both his hands available to wander his boyfriend's body and lazily roll his tongue around the head of their cock. 

 

On his back or side were great options, too, because he could prop himself up on mountains of pillows and take the night at his own pace. Yoongi was still waiting for the day when he wasn’t called pillow prince or princess in that position, but it didn’t really bother him that much. Yoongi had worked hard enough in the past eight years to earn a good, slow fuck when he wanted it, no matter how much they loved teasing him.

 

Then there was riding, which was something Yoongi desperately wished didn’t hurt so much. The few times he'd tried to properly ride one of his boyfriends he struggled to climax, the ache in his joints overpowering the pleasure. Jimin suggested that Yoongi be on the giving end, but with most of the boys weighing more than him it didn't work. Not that they bared down on him the entire time, but either way he ended up with sore hips and knees from the weight that his lower body just couldn't bear. 

 

Jimin, however, was almost his exact size. And he had strong muscles in his pelvis and thighs from dancing. With a combination like that it would surely work, right?

 

Wrong, because it turned out being on top and supporting himself on his hands put more stress on his back and shoulders than they thought. While the sex was great, the next morning Jimin could hardly move his shoulders from all the tension in his muscles. He lied to the physical therapist, saying he and Jungkook were being foolish and roughhousing, to avoid the burning embarrassment. They’d have to try something different if they ever wanted to try that position again. 

 

But Yoongi was sensitive. And riding or getting ridden was hot. So, together, they figured out how to make it work. 

 

"Hoseok-ah, it's okay, really. You don't have to push it," Yoongi sighed. 

 

"I'm not trying to force you; I just want you to feel comfortable." 

 

"Yes, but…it just sounds like a lot of work," Yoongi tried, unsure, shifting his knees around on the couch. 

 

"For me, yeah, but that's kind of the point. Like I said, you hold the headboard while I hold onto you and thrust up--" 

 

"Ah, I know, I know. You said it before." Yoongi gave in. "Jus', don't want you to hurt yourself or anything." He knew that not every member of the group had difficulties with pain like he and Jimin did, or not to the same extent, but...his recent experiences in the bedroom weren't exactly positive. 

 

A lopsided smile crept onto Hoseok's face and he moved to sit closer to Yoongi. "You don't have to worry about that and you know it," he encouraged, stroking the nape of his hyung's neck. "I have strong hips and abs just like Jimin, just minus all the shoulder issues." 

 

Yoongi shifted slightly, leaning more into Hoseok's touch. He was running out of counterpoints. Guilt swirled in his stomach for his partners having to change their habits so much just for him, though. He was used to it himself, but it felt like an inconvenience dragging other people into it. 

 

"And if it does hurt, we'll just stop okay?" Hobi offered, effectively ruling out any more arguments. 

 

"...alright, Seok-ah, if you really think it will work." 

 

------

 

For what it's worth, Hoseok pulls out all the stops to make their night comfortable and pain free. 

 

"Almost ready?" Hoseok asked, brushing Yoongi's hair back to rinse the last of the suds away. Yoongi doesn't answer for a moment, settling his hands around Hobi's ribs and just taking in the warmth. Under the hot spray the shower he's so relaxed, he almost doesn't want to leave. 

 

Hoseok's hands wander to Yoongi's bony hips as he waits for an answer, stroking little circles into his skin with the pads of his thumbs. 

 

"Just another minute," Yoongi mumbled, circling his arms around Hobi’s shoulders. He pressed himself forward, nuzzling his head into that little crook in Hobi's shoulder that was made perfectly for him. He felt Hoseok smile, his lips pressed into his soaked hair. Maybe two more minutes, Yoongi decided. Between all their busy schedules and the never ending pain, the hot shower was a special solace, and spending time with one of his partners only made it better. 

 

Fluffy towels and plush rugs under their toes eventually drew them out of the warm spray, wrapping themselves in towels to keep the warmth in a little longer. Yoongi looped a towel over Hoseok's overgrown mop of hair, both of them sharing heady, silent looks as they dried off. Yoongi hadn't been oblivious to Hobi’s hardness beginning to bloom against his hip when they were pressed together in the shower, though he was sure the other did so on purpose. 

 

"Cmon, let's lay down," Hoseok took him by the hand and led him to the bed, Yoongi content to follow his lover's lead and see what he had planned for the night. "You like the pillow behind your back like this, right?" He asked, though the long body pillow was already positioned perfectly up against the wall. They'd chosen Yoongi's room for the night, since he was more comfortable in his own bed. That, and Jimin wouldn't whine about being kicked out of his and Hoseok's shared room only on account of Hoseok getting it in. 

 

As if he hadn't done the same to his hyung on several occasions before. Whatever. 

 

Regardless, being in Yoongi's room meant they already had all the pillows they needed. Yoongi settled himself in first, getting comfortable on his side while his legs splayed open lazily, his still soft cock lying against his belly. 

 

"You're a vision, Yoon," Hoseok purred, dropping his towel on the floor without a second thought as he approached the bed. Yoongi groaned. 

 

"That's overly romantic and you know it." 

 

"Doesn’t make it any less true," Hobi said, slipping into the bed to lie half on his side, half on top of Yoongi. "And we all know you like it, hyung," he said as Yoongi’s ears burned. 

 

Yoongi huffed, smiling as Hoseok drew the two of them together. Their lips met in a series of brief kisses, both exchanging little moans and mewls as their kisses got deeper and longer. Yoongi's tongue slipped out to part Hoseok's lips first, the younger man eagerly allowing him in as he pulled Yoongi closer, positioning a muscular thigh between slim legs. 

 

Yoongi fought with himself to resist the urge to grind down against the thigh that was already pressed so dangerously close to his cock. Hoseok's hand cupping the bottom of his ass didn't help either, so he put all his focus into dominating Hoseok in their kiss. 

 

He couldn't keep the fight up long. Hoseok's thighs were made for riding. 

 

"Dammit, Hoseok-ah," he growled, grabbing a handful of Hobi's ass and using the leverage to pull him closer. Hoseok met him without hesitation, grinding their cocks together with a smooth roll of his hips while Yoongi kneaded his ass. 

 

"Good boy, good baby," Hobi mumbled in between kisses, the praise only encouraging more soft moans to tumble from Yoongi's lips. His hips rolled at the best pace he could manage, trying to meet Hoseok's stride as both their cocks began to reach full hardness. 

 

"Shh, it's okay. Its okay, let me do the work," Hobi hushed as he tried to still Yoongi's hips. Yoongi groaned into the kiss, trying to protest, but with the way Hoseok was shimmying his thigh up higher his protests lost steam quickly. 

 

After a few final kisses, struggling to pull away from each other, Hoseok wrapped it all up with a kiss to Yoongi's nose. It made his eyes cross as he pulled away, and Hobi couldn't help but giggle, giddy as he rolled over and reached for the lube on the nightstand. 

 

"Here, lay on top of me," he prompted, rolling onto his back and grasping Yoongi's hips to steady him as he moved. "There you go…" He urged the shorter boy up until they were pressed chest to chest, Yoongi's cock pressed against Hoseok's abs while Hoseok's rested against Yoongi's ass. 

 

The intimate position gave them nearly full body skin-to-skin contact. Vaguely, Yoongi recalled reading somewhere how essential such intimacy was for good sex while managing chronic pain. He hadn't understood until the moment he settled fully on top of Hoseok--he was forced to hold eye contact with Hoseok or bury his face in his dongsaengs chest. The bashful feeling that bloomed in his heart was new, but welcome. He had to admit, he'd never stared straight into his partners eyes as they fingered him open. 

 

The pop of the lube bottle opening didn’t distract from his gaze for a moment.

 

Hoseok took his time, liberally coating three fingers before balancing the still-open lube bottle on the bedside table. He finally locked eyes with Yoongi, who hadn't looked away for a moment. 

 

"Ready?" he asked, his clean hand caressing Yoongi's cheek, teasingly close to his hole. 

 

" 'm certainly not gonna wait any longer," he mumbled, and Hoseok broke into a smile. 

 

"Sorry," he said, sheepish as he gently pushed in a fingertip. "Just want to make sure my baby is comfy."

 

Yoongi hummed, daring himself to keep Hoseok's gaze even though his instincts told him to look away. Hoseok opened him up easily, the lingering warmth from their shower and slow kisses keeping him relaxed. Lately they hadn't had the time for such pampering--he definitely needed this more often, he decided. 

 

Hoseok's second finger slipped in with ease, and Yoongi found himself more accustomed to the eye contact. 

 

Until Hoseok opened his mouth of course. 

 

"You're so beautiful, Yoongi-ah," he mumbled, all the sincerity in the world coating his voice. Yoongi's cheeks flushed furiously, ducking his head to his in Hoseok's chest until the shyness passed. Hoseok giggled like he wasn't on a hunt for Yoongi's prostate at that very moment. "Did that really make you clench around my fingers?! Yoongi…" 

 

"What?" Yoongi answered, his heart fluttering as he anticipated more compliments. Hoseok felt it through his chest.

 

"Your eyes are so pretty," Hoseok finished, tilting his head to the side as Yoongi fussed on his chest once again. 

 

"Mmmm ...you too, Seok-ah, you too," he mumbled, giving Hoseok's pec a playful bite in retaliation for such wonderful words. Hoseok only giggled more. 

 

Yoongi would have to ask Hoseok later how he could giggle like a cherub while simultaneously stroking his partner's prostate, and barely react to his partner rutting into his stomach, too, but for now it would remain Hobi's secret. Yoongi was far too caught up in letting him know how good he felt.

 

Jin-hyung, Yoongi's mind suddenly supplied. Hoseok must have gotten it from Jin-hyung. Surely, no one else in their group could laugh so much in bed with what little private time they had. He lost his train of thought once Hoseok's long fingers continued their ministrations, this time just barely teasing the sensitive spot inside him

 

"Seokseok--!" He cried, his voice trembling as his hips rolled unconsciously. "More, now, Seok-ah please." 

 

"Course, baby," Hoseok said, the hint of a laugh still present in his voice. He slipped in the third finger, kneading Yoongi's ass with his other hand. So plump and bouncy...Hoseok loved it when Yoongi was able to hold a little more weight on his bones. And thanks to everyone's concentrated efforts to actually witness him eating at least three times a day, he was keeping the weight on for much longer than in the past. 

 

"Hoba!" Yoongi whined, rutting his hard cock into Hoseok's stomach in impatience. "Don't have to be so gentle. C'mon, I'm ready." 

 

Yoongi knew that, in a sense, Hoseok did have to be that gentle with him, but still. His joints were the problem, not his ass. 

 

"Fine, fine, one second." Hoseok slipped his fingers out of Yoongi's stretched hole, while an airy gasp slipped past Yoongi's lips at the loss of sensation. He clenched unconsciously around nothing, anticipating being filled up again very soon. 

 

"Here, let's get you up," Hoseok quietly guided Yoongi until he was seated on his belly, Hoseok's cock pressed into the cleft of his ass. He smiled up at Yoongi, his eyes mischievous as he rolled on a condom and some extra lube. Yoongi sat up higher on his knees until Hobi seemed pleased with the position, guiding his cock head to tease Yoongi's rim. His muscles fluttered in excitement.  

 

"You stay right there and let me come to you, okay?" Hoseok encouraged, gripping under Yoongi's hips to support him. Behind him, he heard the sheets rustle as Hobi repositioned himself. Yoongi nodded, his eyes locked with Hoseok's.  

 

Hobi smiled. "Good boy," he encouraged as he slowly thrust up and sunk his cock into Yoongi's welcoming heat. 

 

It was a feeling so familiar and welcoming that Yoongi couldn't help the moan that was ripped out of his chest. He and Hoseok slotted together perfectly; the product of being each other's most frequent partners for years, now. 

 

Getting to face his partner while they fucked was pretty rare for Yoongi, so he had this grand plan in his head of talking and quibbling with Hoseok the entire time they fucked. He and Hoseok were good at that--it would be fun, he thought. 

 

“Oh, fuck...fuck, oh, Seok-ah!”

 

In the moment, that plan was the absolute farthest thing from Yoongi’s mind. Words, much less sentences, were too complicated to think up right now.  

 

Hoseok was careful as he thrusted. Usually, with some of the other boys, he’d alternate between slow and fast, shallow and deep thrusts to keep things interesting. Not all of them were as sensitive as Yoongi--Taehyung and Jin, for example, needed a lot of stimulation to keep things going. 

 

This was a new position for both of them, though. On Hobi’s end it was very physically taxing but, given Yoongi’s enthusiastic reactions, it was obviously worth it. Instead of mixing up the speed too much--and risk dropping his lover or hurting himself--he focused on steady, deep thrusts. The depth gave Yoongi lots and lots of stimulation in different places, while the steady pace meant Hobi could pull back far enough to grind hard against his prostate.

 

Yoongi moaned again, pleasure loud and clear in his voice. Hoseok smiled as his baby’s voice bounced off the walls. He hoped whoever was in the next room heard that, hoped that they heard how good he made Yoongi feel. 

 

Yoongi’s voice and thighs couldn’t help but quiver in pleasure as they continued. His brows furrowed as he tried to close his legs, almost overstimulated but loving every second of it. That attempt went nowhere, of course, because he only succeeded in squeezing Hobi’s trim waist with his knees. Hoseok took it as encouragement either way, gripping Yoongi tight and delivering two faster thrusts in quick succession. The noise that fell from Yoongi’s lips was sweeter than anything, and Hoseok smiled as Yoongi’s hands came down to rest on top of his. 

 

Their original plan was for Yoongi to grip the headboard. Had Yoongi tried it and something went wrong? Either way, something spurred him to change positions and grip Hoseok’s hands. Hobi wondered why for a moment--maybe the position made him tense his shoulders unintentionally? He’d have to ask later so they could do better next time, but at the moment Yoongi looked comfortable. He didn’t worry about it. 

 

With such great sex, Yoongi shouldn’t have been surprised that he lasted an embarassingly short amount of time. He wasn’t really embarrassed by it, either; his Hoba just treated him so well. He wanted it to last longer just for that, but he couldn’t hold off the inevitable. 

 

Hoseok’s angle really was perfect for rubbing against his prostate. With all the stimulation, Yoongi felt the pressure in his lower belly mount quickly. He tried to tell Hobi, to warn him or something, but the pleasure was unfurling too fast for his mouth to react. Instead, he desperately fisted his own cock and stroked one, two, three times before he called out with a staggered moan. 

 

Cum spurted out of his cock in time with Hoseok’s thrusts, getting all over Yoongi’s fist, his stomach and Hoseok’s, too. His ass clenched around Hobi as he came and Hobi, surprised, slowly stopped his thrusts. Unsure how Yoongi would want to continue and really beginning to feel the burn in his arms, he gently lowered Yoongi down to sit on his hips. He was fully seated on Hoseok’s cock, but mostly still as he rode out his orgasm, his hips grinding on their own briefly before he was completely spent. 

 

Finishing inside Yoongi would have been nice, Hoseok thought, but, as he watched Yoongi struggle to stay upright as he came down from his high, Yoongi’s comfort was much more important at the moment. 

 

“C’mon baby, let’s get you down, okay?” he said softly as he began lifting Yoongi up again. Yoongi mumbled something unintelligible, maybe a protest, but cooperated with Hoseok at the same time. 

 

Yoongi took it upon himself to collapse onto his side and snuggle as close as he physically could to Hobi, throwing one arm over his ribs and pulling himself up to rest his head on Hobi’s chest. Meanwhile, Hoseok pulled off his condom and disposed of it before squirting a little more lube into his hand. 

 

“Let me help you finish at least, okay?” Yoongi mumbled. He just barely lifted his head from Hobi’s chest so he could turn and kiss him. Their hands met over Hoseok’s cock, their fists swirling in tandem as he worked on finishing. Yoongi’s long, knobby fingers were like nothing else, Hobi swore. That gentle touch swirling around his cock head was what finally drew an orgasm out of him, both of them moaning into a kiss as cum slowly dribbled down their hands. 

 

Not long later, once they’d both cleaned up with a warm washcloth and settled into bed again, they talked it out. Yoongi said nothing as he eagerly crawled on top of Hoseok, laying his chin on his chest and mirroring their full-body contact position from earlier in the night.

 

Someone found a new favorite position, Hoseok thought, though he held back from teasing Yoongi about it. When Yoongi so willingly went for something like this, it was easy to tell he really loved it. Instead, Hobi threw an arm around Yoongi’s back, hoping to reassure him that he enjoyed the position just as much. 

 

“So...was it good?” Hoseok tried to start. Yoongi gave him one whole groan of affirmation, then fell silent. Hobi couldn’t help but laugh. He wasn’t surprised one bit. “I thought it was, too.” 

 

He wanted to ask more questions, but he was sure he wouldn’t get any more answers out of Yoongi. Lying still and watching the gentle rise and fall of Yoongi’s back was just as good, he decided. Yoongi would share his opinion when he was ready. 

 

After a few quiet minutes, that’s exactly what he did. 

 

“I wish I could last longer like that. That was my biggest issue, I think.”

 

“Mmm...so, wear a cock ring next time?” Hoseok suggested. Yoongi groaned, displeased, but joking. 

 

“Hobaaaaa,” he groaned. “What if I don’t like cock rings?” 

 

“Then I would say put up or shut up, hyung.” Hoseok could barely contain his giggle.

 

“Hoba, why do you torture me like this? Why can’t hyung complain in peace?” He moaned and groaned, all the while resting his arms on Hobi’s shoulders and playing with his hair. Hoseok giggled as Yoongi snuggled closer yet continued to whine. This, this Yoongi was exactly who he wanted to see every day. Comfortable, happy, not-focused-on-his-pain Yoongi. The thought that he helped him get there bubbled over in his chest and he held Yoongi tight as he happily listened to his complaints.