"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
Sebastian scratched the back of his head as the raven-haired toddler crawled on his lap.
"Why do you ask?" he stalled, trying to avoid the inevitable.
"Because I wanna know!" The child dramatically threw his arms up in the air and a snicker was heard from the kitchen, where his wife was 'busy' fixing the cupboard doors while eavesdropping on the interesting father-son conversation.
"Well, you see…" He looked at the determined bright green eyes of his son and cleared his throat.
"Long ago, when only the guardian deity Yobba lived on these lands," Sebastian frowned. He wasn’t fond of reading stories, let alone making them up as he went. "The guardian was bored out of his mind and was growing lonely." The toddler pouted.
"Poor Yobba," he sniffled.
"No, no! He's gonna solve that! Don't worry." The sniffling stopped and Sebastian exhaled slowly, patted his son on his head and continued.
"So, the guardian decided to..." he looked out of the window on his left, "grow some crops," he added.
"Why?" questioned the toddler, resolved to know the story inside-out. Sebastian, however, was turning his mind inside-out to find a logical answer to this.
"That's easy, that's because well… the guardian loved gardening!"
"Oh! Okay," the toddler mumbled to himself. Sebastian folded his arms, satisfied with his own improvisation skills.
"Then, the guardian planted some crops," he continued. "Magical crops. Very rare magical crops." Another snicker was heard from the kitchen. Sebastian ignored it and went on, "And he watered them every day until the first leaves sprouted and continued to do so until they have fully grown into big, beautiful crops." He paused, letting the information slowly be processed by the tiny frowning human on his lap.
"What did he do with them?"
Sebastian smiled, finally getting the hang of it. "He loved his crops so much, that he didn't want to eat or ship them. So, he left them where they were and continued to take care of them as good as he did before. But one night, a bright idea occurred to him and the next morning, he watered the crops with his tears." His son gasped. “But, they were tears of happiness,” Sebastian quickly added before his son could utter a word.
"And then?" he eagerly demanded. Sebastian tried to concentrate. After several seconds, his lips curled up in a smile.
"After nine months, the crops tore their roots loose from the earth and started to look like babies. They turned pink and started to feel nice and soft. They slowly grew and became more and more like humans. They learned how to walk, how to speak, how to garden and, uh – " Sebastian scratched the back of his head again. His son stared at him with open mouth and full of anticipation.
"That's how babies are made." He finished proudly. But the toddler didn't react. He helplessly turned to Emilia who had curiously walked into the living room with a painfully broad smile while pointing at her impossible grin. Then it hit him.
"And they lived happily ever after," he added and an applause was heard. Sebastian leaned back, content that his efforts were being appreciated.
"You should stand up and bow, you know," the tiny human on his lap commented.
"Oh, you're right. I should." He lifted the toddler off his lap, stood up and made a bow with grand exaggerated gestures.