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The 1 am Canteen

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Everyone in Europe were acting crazy.

Well more crazy then usual that's for sure.

It started with his parents. They were acting weird and even his bros noticed it. Then it he caught his mother with the Spaniard and he was shocked, wasn't mum with dad?

Then His little maple brother called him panicked about seeing Dad with Portugal and wasn't Dad with mum? What was happening? Are they unhappy? Are they... cheating?

Then he noticed Germany flirting with Russia, (And no, Aussie, he isn't jealous thank you very much) and the commie even flirted back! And was better at it too judging by the blooming blush on Germany face.

When he was about to leave and go get lunch in hopes of forgetting of the already weird day and countries, he even took New Zeland with him! But then he saw Greece and Poland and they looked very close just grining-Zee no, I'm not staring fuck off let's go-and just he wasn't there to see the rest of the interaction.

And oh God's the meeting room! It was horror! Even UN and EU looked flagabaster by the countries weird behaviors.

England and Portugal were sucking each other faces off in the corner, Germany was by the wall with whispering Russia next to him. And Greece was actually making out with Egypt.

Poland and Italy were flirting so much that nearby Spain who was talking with France was blushing so hard that he reminded America of tomatoe.

It was just so confusing.

And then Canada got himself a harem consisting of Ukraine, Belarus, Netherlands and Belgium, all trying to one up the other.

(and hey, reader, I get you on small secret, Canada wasn't the only bro with harem ;) )

~•~

(Now dear readers, to understand the next piece of the story, you need to know that its Plant and Acklar fault. Mainly Plant but it is blame that falls on them, me the humble author is just making world balanced by giving everyone fan service, now on to the piece reader, go on I know u want to~)

America wasn't sure what happened after the meeting, but one second he was waiting for the elevator to reach his floor of the hotel countries were staying in and then in the next moment he was being snogged by Russia.

He wasn't complaining, it was quite enjoyable snog. Heavy on tongue and power play he wasn't about to loose to a Russia, thus their power play started with Russia exploring his mouth and him exploring Russia mouth.

Russia tasted of vodka with lingering taste of cigarettes and something just unique that he couldn't place, but it tasted of warm home during harsh winters and the biting frost during winter.

He really wouldn't have minded continuing the kiss if it wasn't for someone clearing their throat, he broke the kiss and turned his head to tell the person to fuck off bc can't they see they are busy?

But to his great mortification it was his Mother standing there with raised eyebrow looking from him to Russia and back to him.

He shoved Russia off him and ran to his room, texting his suitcase into the corner he jumped on the hotel bed and just let out a scream because what. the. f u c k.

He wasn't sure how long he had spend screaming into his pillows but he had to assume it was some long time before he stopped. Outside of his windows was starting to darken and street lämp were litting the streets for people who were partying outside.

And there was a knock.

Followed by another knock.

And another one.

Series of knocks actually followed, and with a grumble and complain under his breath, he stood up and made his way to the doors of his room. Ready to snap at the whoever was in the other side, he didn't expect to fun this particular country there.

"What to you- ... oh it's You Mexico ... You meed anything?" America wasn't sure what exactly happen, but he could hear some romantic guitar I'm the Hallway and Mexico shaking in fear, de he just stood to the side allowing Mexico to hide.

He shut the door with the key, lock, barricaded it with chairs and even a couch for a good measure, he could hear some muffled Spanish from behind the door but he was sure he was better off not knowing who was that.

"So, Ming telling me what happens or?" Mexico did, through rushed mixed of Spanish and English.

Eseentialy Spain wanted to put his tortilla where sun doesn't shine and even kissed Mexico as if that was the modt normal thing in the world! And can he please stay here until the mad man goes away so he can then go and barricade in his room?

America agreed, letting him stay, for now at the very least. He sat next to Mexico, ready to watch mindless television unroll the time passes but well, Would it it be my story if something gay didn't happened?

Cause like it did happen but Mexico and America prefer to not speak of it ever again and if one of them does then the other has right to kill them and scatter the remains.

Both didn't know who started it, (Ame did, he wanted to ask Mexico something and Mexico face was suddenly just there) but soon they both had their tongues in the others mouth, exploring and moaning at the taste of the other.

America was pretty sure it would have progressed further if it wasn't for Spain suddenly crashing into his window, screaming some Spanish with Soap Opera music in the background.

Mexico even looked impressed.

But seeing his opening he quickly stood up and made a mad dash to the door, (opening them under a second, America still doesn't know how he did that but he did) and taking off to his room.

America grow ed in frustration, really wanting a good snug now, and glared at the failed Spiderman climb Spain was doing.

He went to the window glaring at Spain, he saw that he was using the open window as a platform and with a diabolic smirk he closed it, looking at the shocked face of Spain with fascination as he fell down, getting suspended but ultimately saved by the lines people used to secure themsekf whilst washing skyscrapers windows

The Spanish cursing and swearing was so worth it that he even went out of his room!

Which soon proved to be a kinda bad idea as he was swiped into argument between China and Japan.

He wasn't paying attention to what was said, and even if he wanted to, they were speaking rapidly in some form of ancient whatever, and he just didn't feel like translating it all, which ultimately led him to being more confused then before, but like this whole day was confusing, so really be as surprised as he was.

Basically dear reader, Japan glared at China, told him to fuck off in Japanese and kissed America. Why exactly did he kissed America? Why, to prove the point of course! What point you may ask? The point that he can kiss whoever he wants and China can just shut up about it!

And if both of them enjoyed the brief kiss, then well, no one had to know.

China looked very crossed with Japan so Japan knowing when to rum, he did just that, laving America with pissed off China.

Whatever the argument was, China wasn't happy. and judging by the twitching left eye, he was extremely pissed.

Feeling like he didn't want to know what's gonna happened if he stayed near China any longer. He successfully kissed China, spin him around and pushed him towards confused Britain who just came to the corridor.

He took off not wanting to stay and find out what his father is gonna do with dazed China, because he sure they would start to snog once they get bearings, and taking the stairs he practically parkoured down the stairs to the lobby.

When he was at the bottom of the stairs, he colided with a smaller country he didn't see and he swore that they just appeared out of nowhere.

He glanced down at them, and was relieved to see that it was only Poland.

"What the big idea America? Why are you running down the stairs?" Poland asked, and thanked him when he offered his hand so she stand up.

"Well..." He didn't know what pissed him but he just told her about his crazy day where everyone just wanted to kiss everyone and it was getting weird.

Poland blinked and laughed, and laughed And fucking laughed! Couldn't she see that this was important and worrying!

"Aww sweetie it's alright," she cooed and pinched his check, "Me and Greece threw aphrodites into everyone's drinks!"

"You what?! Why would you even do that?!"

"Because we felt like messing with our Husbands and Wife's?" America blinked rapidly at her statement.

"Wait wha-" She looked up at him confused, about to repeat her stament but something seemed to click and she just laughed again.

"Aww, that would explain a lot! You see darling, every treaty you ever signed is basically powerful enough to bind you and that country together. Thus you effectively become wife Or/and Husband!"

".... why does this rule or whatever it even is, exist?"

"Medieval times, it saved some of us and was downfall to others" she looks smad for a moment but her expression came back cheerful once more after a moment. "You can also just go to your room and stay locked there for the rest of the day, the effect should wear of by then-WHAT ARE YOUDOIN! PUT ME DOWN DAMNIT!"

Well, if they all are married and Poland did say that they can go get locked up in a room, who was he to say no? He ignored her hissing and punching and just went over to Russia who was reading something in the lobby, picked him up like sack of potatoes too and went for the elevator, happy to see it empty.

He also ignored Russia demands for answers after he regain his equalibrum, his brothers shocked faces as he passed by and as Russia room was the closest and most secluded, he went there, kicking the doors shut.

If you were to ask Canada and various other countries who were walking by the doors through the course of the day would get different account of events each time.

From Canada, you would learned that he heard a lot of screaming in russian and colonial English, mixed with something breaking.

China would tell you that he heard a lot of banging and Japan who was tied in Chinas arms would confirm too.

France and Greece would just smirk and continue walking with their tied in pretty bows prey.

UK would only blush and say that gentleman doesn't spread any rumours but he did heard some questionable noises.

And If, Just if you were brave enough to ask the trio themself, they would tell you that they played Mario Kart. It wouldn't make you believe them bc of the state of their clothes but the plugged in console would confirm it.

(However things were omitted and omitted they shall remain)

And thus, the weird adventure of confused and Gay America ended with a good game of Mario Karts.

The End.