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i'll love you until you tell me not to.

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Something has shifted dangerously between Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung in the literal blink of an eye.

Jimin blames it one-hundred percent on all of these ridiculous feelings that he has felt for Taehyung over the years they have been best friends. And truly, if he’s being completely honest, he’s actually comfortable with those feelings. Because Taehyung will always be his friend no matter what, and he wears his love right on his sleeve so that Taehyung always knows how much he cares.

These particular feelings, however, like to make a cozy little nest right on his heart, and sometimes they aren’t as easy to push away.

They aren’t feelings that make him hurt or jealous or even angry about the fact that him and Taehyung aren’t together in a romantic way. They’re just these feelings that he's always had for him ever since high school, ever since him and Taehyung started to spend every waking moment together and ultimately became not only best friends but coworkers, teammates, soulmates.

At the end of the day, Jimin is head over heels in love with Kim Taehyung.

And he’s never known how to tell him.

Jimin knows that he loves Taehyung more than a best friend probably should, and he knows the problems that it could potentially cause for not only their friendship but for the dynamic of the group and all of the fans and people in their country that wouldn’t approve. Yet he's been fine with just the way everything is and doesn't have any plans to act on these impulses whatsoever.

He's fine with it.

Until something shifts in the literal blink of an eye.

And suddenly these feelings explode into a wildfire that he's not able to contain any longer.

Jimin actually hates that his feelings erupted the way they do so suddenly, because the dynamics between everyone is so perfect right now - they are about to go on tour and see their fans, visit the rest of world and travel to so many beautiful places they’ve never been. And even while Jimin gets lonely in the hotel rooms by himself sometimes, he craves concerts and to see the fans just as much as he needs air to breathe.

So they head out on tour to the first leg of their concerts as planned.

And the shift happens one lonely night when he least expects it to.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

Jimin's neck is already hurting. He doesn't intend for his body to be this way and he wishes it wasn't like this, but just after the first couple concerts he's already painfully sore, already feeling the strains of travel and the time differences. Jungkook had given him a massage earlier and the body trainer is busy with Seokjin right now, so Jimin goes to his room to do stretches that the trainer instructed him to try, rotates between hot and cold, and just tries his best to feel okay however he can.

And Jimin is immediately lonely in a contradicting way, because he’s in a sour mood and doesn’t want anything to do with anyone else, but he’s also always craving attention and comfort. He hates to feel this way and tries to keep his spirits up during tour, especially because the fatigue can set in and they need to be strong for one another. But this pain in his neck, this constant ache in so many different parts of his body after working so hard, is all consuming sometimes.

There's a knock on Jimin's hotel room that interrupts his stretch, and he somewhat limps from the floor to open it. Taehyung is on the other side dressed in BT21 pajamas and holding a plushie of Shooky in one hand and his Nintendo Switch in the other. His hair is freshly dyed a deep shade of ocean blue, and he literally pouts at Jimin through his big glasses.

Jimin snorts at the image of Taehyung this way. He just looks so fucking cute.

"What's up, Tae?" Jimin asks with a little laugh. Taehyung shuffles inside, pushing passed Jimin with his slippers rustling against the ground as he goes. Jimin grins at Taehyung acting like this and closes the door behind him. "Everything alright?"

Taehyung makes himself comfortable on the bed and is obviously in a mood to be in the presence of someone else. Jimin feels immediately grateful and still hates the fact that they don’t have roommates on tour anymore. And he also loves the fact that Taehyung seems to be on the same wavelength as him in this regard.

"I'm bored," Taehyung sighs as he kicks off his slippers lazily.

"We've been so busy already, Tae. How are you bored?" Jimin laughs at his friend and rubs at his neck to touch the spot that’s been killing him all night. Taehyung notices him do this and frowns.

"Are you okay?"

Jimin shakes his head with a wince then settles into the computer chair at the desk where he has his laptop set up. He spins in the chair absentmindedly. "My neck hurts really bad tonight. It's just crazy how it can get like this so quickly."

Taehyung's frown is deeper than before at Jimin’s words and he's immediately concerned. He drops the console in the middle of the bed then ushers Jimin to join him. "Come here, I’ll help you."

"No way!" Jimin laughs in retaliation. "Last time you gave me a massage I couldn't feel my lower back for two days!"

Taehyung scoffs and his mouth drops open in mild shock. "Not uh! Besides, Jungkook told me how to do it in case he wasn’t around to help you, so let me try!"

"Oh he did? When?" Jimin cutely challenges while he rubs at the spot with his body still spinning in the chair.

"Like, yesterday, or something," Taehyung obviously lies and Jimin falls forward with a laugh at Taehyung trying to be deceitful. Yet Jimin can always see right through him.

"I'm okay, Tae, but thank you."

"Jiminie, just come here.”

Taehyung's pout comes out full force. And it's so stinkin’ cute that Jimin can't help but give in without much need for convincing. He shuffles from the chair and onto the big bed, sits cross legged in the middle of it while Taehyung settles behind him. Jimin snatches the console in the process and turns on Taehyung's game.

"Where does it hurt?" Taehyung asks.

Jimin laughs outwardly again at Taehyung's question. "You should already know if Jungkook showed you!"

Taehyung makes a noise and Jimin chuckles to himself, then starts to maneuver the little characters around on Taehyung's game.

Taehyung’s his hands are on Jimin's body next, his thumb pressing into the lower part of his neck while the other sits on Jimin's shoulder to keep him in place, and Taehyung gives it a little squeeze. "Here?"

"To the right a bit," Jimin sighs and grunts automatically at the pressure of Taehyung's fingers.

Then just like that, everything starts to feel better in a quick way, one that has Jimin's eyes fluttering closed as Taehyung rubs at the skin on his neck where it hurts the most. He muffles out a little groan with his arms feeling weak, and lets the device slip from his hand.

And well, maybe Jimin has always had a thing for Taehyung’s hands and how long his fingers are, how they can practically envelop his own in one agonizing death grip. Feeling them on his body, feeling his fingers dig into the pressure points on his neck sends Jimin’s mind diving head first into a million thoughts that he shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to his best friends hands and what he could maybe do with them.

"Good?" Taehyung asks.

"Yeah," Jimin sighs out again. "Couldn't find that spot all night."

He hears Taehyung make another noise, something that sounds more content now that he knows he’s doing a good job.

Jimin chews on his lip and temporarily comes back to his senses. He thinks about where they are, what they're doing, and how they even got to this point. And it shouldn't be anything too abnormal, for friends to take care of each other like this, yet Jimin can't help but think of the hotel room, the large hands on his neck and shoulders, how good Taehyung feels...

...he wonders how far he can take it if he tries.

"Can you go a little lower?" Jimin asks this with a small tone as he attempts to keep it sounding innocent.

Taehyung's hands release pressure on his neck and shoulder while Jimin sits there staring at his feet in the bed, hoping that the request doesn't come off as weird. He doesn't want it to be awkward.

"Yeah, sure," Taehyung breathes out, then starts to massage his thumbs right down Jimin's spine, the pads of his fingers digging more into his skin as he creeps down over Jimin's shirt. Jimin has to hold back this embarrassing groan, this little tenacious grumble in his throat that is just begging to be released at the movement of Taehyung's beautiful hands on his back. "Feels okay?"

Jimin nods slightly with his eyes drooping in the process. Taehyung stays like that for a little longer while the silence of the hotel room consumes them except for the air conditioner that is providing some ambiance.

And Jimin has this feeling inside of him that creeps to the surface, this stupid gut churning emotion as his body completely relaxes into Taehyung’s touch. It’s these particular feelings that tend to erupt at the most inconvenient times, and Jimin has done well to always shove them right back down and cover them with a heavy metaphoric blanket.

Because he wants more. He always wants more.

Because this - just sitting here with Taehyung after a concert enjoying each others space and with Taehyung taking care of him - is just the start of all the things he wants when it comes to Taehyung in a more romantic sense.

But it's hard to risk it. It's hard to need to risk it.

"Tae?" Jimin says quietly.

"Hm?"

Jimin opens his mouth to say something else but closes it just as quick. Because there are a thousand things he wants to say yet he can never find the nerve to - I love you. I'm so in love with you. I'm in love with everything about you, can't you see it?!

"What, Jimin?"

Jimin turns his body slightly and Taehyung's hands go slack on his back. His pout is back, and Taehyung is so clueless as to what could possibly be going on in Jimin's head. Because if he knew, if he really knew how much Jimin cared about him and his happiness and the desire to make him feel so good, then Taehyung would probably run away. And everything with them would be ruined just like that.

Yet there are times just like now when they're sort of really close to each other and just staring at one another, when Taehyung's tongue will dart out to wet his lip as he keeps eye contact, that Jimin sometimes allows himself to think that it could be different if he just went for it.

"What?" Taehyung asks again.

What Jimin wants to say is that he's obsessed with him, that he's proud of who he's become, that he wants everything with him even if they have to keep it a secret. That he wants to kiss him, hold him, fuck him until they’re both exhausted and so in love.

Instead, Jimin just smiles then reaches out to ruffle Taehyung's fluffy hair.

"I'm sleepy now,” Jimin says in internal defeat, and Taehyung nods in agreement. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

Taehyung shrugs and reaches for his console that had tumbled onto the bed from Jimin’s hands.

"I guess so," he says casually. "You say you're sleepy but as soon as you get in bed you know you'll be on your phone all night."

Jimin rolls his eyes even though it's true. "I just want to relax, at least."

"I need to get my charger then," Taehyung throws his feet over the bed and shuffles back into his slippers. And Jimin is a little surprised, mostly because since they've been allowed their own rooms on tour, the rest of the members have developed a habit of keeping to themselves. Jimin sort of hates it and tends to be the one to crash into their rooms, so when Taehyung says this Jimin feels himself become a bit giddy.

"Really? You want to?" Jimin can't help but smile and Taehyung nods cutely.

"I was bored, anyway. I wanna finish this round on my game."

"Okay!"

Taehyung leaves the room and Jimin makes a stupidly excited noise, jumps up from the bed and quickly brushes his teeth, takes out his contacts and completes his nightly routine. Taehyung comes back to the room shortly after with his charger and some snacks from his room. Jimin turns on the TV, sits up in bed as Taehyung snuggles next to him and starts to play his game again.

And there's just something about spending time together like this, something that makes Jimin feel closer to him, not only due to them being such good friends but because he's so stupidly in love with him. They eat their snacks, play the game together, watch late TV shows, until finally Taehyung is closing his eyes and settling into the pillow. And eventually they both fall asleep.

But Jimin doesn’t stay asleep for long. He’s always had trouble being consistent in his nightly routine whereas Taehyung is always out like a light and difficult to bother when he’s passed out.

Jimin stirs awake with a little groan. There is just enough light from the window that gently reflects on Taehyung’s face, and Jimin finds Taehyung, in this moment, to truly be the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

It’d be easy right now to tell him how he feels. Taehyung is a heavy sleeper. He won’t remember or even recall Jimin confessing his love to him this way. Just watching him sleep, watching the little crinkle in his brow, how puffy his cheeks are from eating way too many snacks, from the little sounds escaping his nose, Jimin feels his entire soul ignite.

“Taehyung?”

Jimin’s voice comes out like a hushed whisper, barely audible and fragile as if his words could shatter glass if he speaks them loud enough.

And he swears he’s not breathing.

The room is quiet, so quiet, while the two of them lay side by side in the large hotel bed, and even though there is plenty of room on both sides for them to sleep by themselves comfortably, Jimin and Taehyung have migrated to one another naturally.

Taehyung, in the middle of the night, had thrown his arm loosely around Jimin’s body while he slept, and Jimin is used to such behavior. He’s not able to really deny Taehyung’s body pressed against his own. It makes him sort of shiver.

Jimin is on his side and they’re facing one another, and through the darkness of the room Jimin can barely make out Taehyung’s outline. But he doesn't need to see him in the light to know his features, even while he sleeps. Jimin has memorized every single part of Taehyung over the years they’ve been best friends. He’s watched him grow, watched him become this amazing person that he’s proud of.

And he’s fallen so in love with him in the process.

He’s so goddamn in love with Kim Taehyung that Jimin doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore.

And all he wants to do is kiss him - kiss him until he’s whining, kiss him until their lips go numb, kiss him until he’s his.

“Tae?” Jimin calls for him again, hesitant and scared, heart thumping in his chest so loud that he’s afraid Taehyung might hear it. He shifts just subtly, hand coming up to rest against the front of Taehyung’s chest.

Taehyung makes a noise then lets out a small grumble. “Yeah?”

His eyes are still closed, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he practically falls right back asleep. Jimin swallows hard and is determined to say something, anything.

But nothing comes out. Nothing ever does.

He wants to be brave, especially in these moments where Taehyung is so beautiful. He dares to move a piece of hair from his face, loves the new color and knows that everyone will go crazy about it. They always do, because Taehyung is someone to go crazy about. Yet no one knows about these little intimate moments, no one knows about the little sounds he can make when he sleeps, how good his hands feel against Jimin's body even as they just lay there innocently. They don't know what it's like to have the love of their life just barely inches from his face.

Everyone can love Taehyung so dearly through a screen or on a stage. But no one will ever love him like Jimin loves him.

And the shift happens just like that.

Jimin leans forward and kisses him lightly.

It's so soft, so barely there that Jimin is positive that Taehyung doesn’t even feel it - like some phantom expression that he's been wanting to do for years now that was just wasted on this moment where Jimin is feeling weak.

Yet Taehyung's eyes open, and Jimin's chest and body go completely numb in panic.

"What - "

He's groggy and probably still so out of it that Jimin could probably convince Taehyung that he's just dreaming and that it didn't even happen. But Jimin is frozen, as usual. His hand awkwardly lingers where he had pushed back his hair.

"I'm sorry."

Jimin is truly panicking, internally at least. Because right now all he can do is look at Taehyung looking at him as they lay on their sides together and hope that he didn't just ruin everything between them in one weak moment where Taehyung looked too beautiful to resist any longer.

Taehyung isn't saying anything back and this is probably worse. Yet he's also not moving, isn't pulling away. Jimin watches as his tongue wets his lips, his little habit, and his eyes flutter closed once more.

"It's okay."

Wait, it's okay??

Jimin pouts in immediate confusion. And maybe now he's feeling a bit relentless in wanting what he wants. Because how could Taehyung just be fine with it? This is his reaction? So calm and no big deal!?

Jimin debates on what to do. He could kiss him more, could kiss him for real. He could make Taehyung feel like jelly in his hand, kiss him until he forgets his fucking name.

Instead, Jimin moves his hand away from Taehyung's face, sets it back on his chest and the movement causes Taehyung to shift as well. Jimin squints, watching Taehyung's lips and feeling the urge to devour them.

"Tae?" he calls for him again so he doesn’t fall right back asleep like Jimin assumes he’s about to do.

"Yeah?" he asks back with the same tone. Jimin moves his hand to Taehyung's hip, slips it right underneath of the shirt on his pajamas so it's resting right on his skin. Taehyung twits a little at the motion. "What, Jimin?"

Jimin doesn’t answer right away. He just wants Taehyung to be aware of what’s happening. He curls his fingers with his nail gently scraping against the skin on his hip, and Taheyung jolts at this, then grunts, and Jimin isn't sure what to make of it. He keeps waiting for Taehyung to smack his hand or move away in general. But he doesn't, not yet, even as Jimin starts to gently caress his bare skin.

Jimin chews on his lip watching and observing Taehyung's features as he keeps his eyes shut. And his chest is rattling in quiet panic. They've been close before. Yet this seems a little too close for just friends. Then again, Taehyung still isn't pulling away...

He’s not sure if this gives him new motivation or courage, but Jimin finds himself gliding his hand cautiously up Taehyung's side with a little pressure, then moves it right against the soft skin on his belly.

Taehyung reacts to this, needless to say, grunting and pulling away just a bit. "Jimin-ah, what are you doing?"

"I just - " Jimin moves closer on instinct, not wanting Taehyung to get too far away from him. "I just wanna touch you. I want - "

"Touch me? Why?" Taehyung shifts and Jimin is panicking outwardly now, his hand going to his hip again to keep Taehyung close to him. "Why are you being so needy?"

"I'm not needy! I - I just - "

Jimin pulls Taehyung towards him while Taehyung tries to roll the other way with another grunt. "You're acting weird."

"No, I'm not! Tae, just, just stay right here, okay?" Jimin presses his hand into the small of his back to keep him in place, and Taehyung's eyes are open now as he watches Jimin start to act this way. "Don't go, don't push me away."

"I'm not," Taehyung says quietly. "You're just confusing me."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't want that," Jimin's voice drops low as he traces a circle against Taehyung's lower back, and at the motion Taehyung is shifting again, and Jimin is relishing in the way he's reacting to his touches.

Taehyung doesn't move that much anymore, stays right there like Jimin asked him too. Jimin takes the initiative to continue touching at his back, scraping against the skin softly with his nail and putting pressure against his hip.

Their bodies are barely touching, but Taehyung's legs had wrapped around Jimin’s as they slept, and there is a slight and gentle shift of his body moving forward at some point that causes Jimin to shiver with nerves at Taehyung moving closer to him on his own free will.

Then Taehyung lets out a soft, aching moan.

Jimin thinks that it's probably now or never. He might be in love with Taehyung and wants an actual future with him and would much rather do this the right way, but he also really wants to make Teahyung make that sound again, but louder.

Jimin swallows down every single ounce of his nerves. He glides his hand under Taehyung's shirt against his tummy again and then up to his chest. At the motion, Taehyung is groaning once more, letting out a hypnotizing sigh that sweeps through every part of Jimin's insides like a drug.

"Jiminie."

He wants to melt, swears that he's going to be sucked right into this mattress at Taehyung's voice saying his name like this, and it gives Jimin goosebumps. Jimin gains a small bit of confidence, touches Taehyung's chest from under his shirt and drags his nails down the front. Then he does it again with more pressure this time, and Taehyung bucks his entire body forward.

"Shit,” he whines out. Jimin's eyes widen at the reaction, and that's when Taehyung's eyes open as well. His lips part and his voice comes out shaky, nervous. "Kiss me again."

"What?" Jimin isn’t sure he heard him correctly, just stares dumbly at Taehyung as he says what he says.

"Kiss me."

At that, Jimin doesn't hesitate.

He leans forward with profound urgency, his mouth pressing fully on Taehyung's and he feels everything ignite.

The kiss is soft yet demanding, full and greedy all at the same time. Jimin pulls back only to wet his lips then glides them right back onto Taehyung's without even skipping a beat. He opens his mouth to test the waters quickly, molding them together just like he's always wanted to, like he's been dreaming about for years now.

Taehyung shifts besides him, body reacting a little differently and Jimin can sense it right away, as he's so attuned to Taehyung in a general sense. Jimin grips at his hip to tug him even closer, then takes that hand and places it right against Taehyung's cheek.

He watches in amazement at the way Taehyung's lips trembles just slightly. He sits up a little bit to have more control at the angle and presses his thumb against the corner of Taehyung's mouth.

Their eyes meet.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a long time," Jimin admits and his voice sounds breathless. He giggles shyly when Taehyung exhales heavy, gulps even.

"You did?"

"Yeah," Jimin pecks at him again unable to stop. "Want to kiss you forever."

Jimin's mouth is back again, this time a bit more aggressive in his actions. He shifts their bodies so half of his is pressed against Taehyung's now, and Jimin can feel how tense he is under him. It's worrisome, only because this is really impulsive. They've spent years sharing beds and being friends and not once have they slipped up in this regard.

Jimin thinks that this might be his only chance, anyway, at least to start something. To have something.

Maybe Taehyung just needs to know what he's been missing, or what he can have if he wants it.

Jimin pushes his tongue against Taehyung's mouth, one hand cupping at his face while the other finds its way under his shirt again. He can feel Taehyung's hands on his shoulders, mouth parting to let Jimin kiss him this way and fuck, Jimin can't help but moan and exhale everything when it comes to kissing Taehyung like this.

It's fucking unbelievable.

Jimin squeezes at his hip, presses himself down a little onto Taehyung’s body and Taehyung whines inside his mouth. "Jimin."

"Yeah?"

"I'm - "

"What?"

"I'm really confused."

Jimin understands. He gets it, of course. But the moment is too good, it's too real. Jimin presses against his body further, hand digging into his stomach now as Jimin dips his head to trace his mouth against Taehyung’s jaw. "You told me to kiss you, so what are you confused about, Taetae?"

He hears Taehyung groan at the contact of Jimin's plump lips dotting against the slope of his neck. He kisses him hard with pressure, tongue circling at the flesh in the process in a dramatic way. His free hand twists Taehyung's neck so Jimin can have better access, and Taehyung goes willingly. But he doesn't answer right away and it makes Jimin feel victorious, as if the pleasure he’s giving him by just his mouth against his jaw is enough to render him speechless.

Taehyung shifts under him in a way that causes his body to move more under Jimin's own, voluntarily allowing Jimin to crawl onto his lap. Jimin does so urgently, keeping his mouth connected right against Taehyung's throat and throwing his leg over Taehyung's body completely to straddle him.

He grunts and rolls his hips into Taehyung’s, unable to hold back this selfish desire to hear Taehyung moan again. And this action results in just that.

"Fuck," Taehyung grumbles out, and Jimin feels his chest ignite with a new fire he’s never felt before. He swears he could listen to Taehyung make that sound all day.

"It feels good?" Jimin breathes out seductively.

“I don’t know, I don’t - " Taehyung stumbles in response. His hands grab all along Jimin's shoulder and back, finally moving to the nape of his neck to grip it tight. Jimin pulls away from his jaw and hesitantly looks down at him, lip coming between his teeth as he searches Taehyung's eyes and he hopes he doesn't want this to end yet. He can't let it.

Jimin leans down to kiss him but Taehyung stops him, and Jimin's heart drops into his stomach at the motion. Taehyung is just looking up at Jimin, eyes darting all across his face and his features as if to study him. He traces a finger down his cheek, then across his lip. He thumbs at the corner of Jimin’s mouth and Jimin's body electrifies at his touch.

"What are we doing?"

Taehyung's words are gentle. He says this more as a statement than a question, and Jimin gets it, he really does. He swallows down his nerves, and now that they’ve stopped making out it’d be really easy for reality to slap them both in their face and ruin this potential moment.

"I - I don't know. I just really want to kiss you," Jimin says honestly, even though it's so much more than that. “And you told me to kiss you so I did.”

"You've never wanted to kiss me before," Taehyung says and Jimin's heart clenches at his words and at how untrue they are.

Jimin doesn't want to lie so he chooses to say nothing in response to that. "I want to do other things, too."

He rolls his hips again onto Taehyung's lap relentlessly thinking that maybe this will convince him otherwise, and between the thin layer of their pajamas the action is so obvious, and he chooses that moment when Taehyung is moaning again to capture his mouth with a searing kiss.

And this time the kiss is different, with both of them responding the same way now that Taehyung seems to be on board. He holds Jimin by his neck, keeps his mouth lodged against his own, and Jimin continues to move gently on his lap while he swallows down Taehyung’s deep, groveling moans.

And he just can't fucking believe it, honestly. All he had to do was barely kiss him one lonely night in bed and then this??

God, Jimin feels like an idiot.

And he's also so goddamn turned he doesn't know what to do with himself.

He plants his palms pressed into the pillow, shifts himself so he's more comfortable on Taehyung's lap. And he's hard, and maybe he should be embarrassed to be this achingly hard in front of his best friend but fuck he's not. He wants Taehyung to touch him, taste him, wants his mouth all over him and his fingers inside of him. Fuck. As he thinks these things in his head Jimin starts to grind again, encouraged by Taehyung's moans and the grip he now has on his own body.

Then Taehyung is the one that is moving, sitting up with Jimin’s legs still straddling his lap. Taehyung's hands are under his shirt to pull it off and Jimin lets him do it, watches how Taehyung's eyes trace over the sweet outline of Jimin's neck and chest and collarbones, then down to the taboo tattoo that he was never supposed to get.

Just seeing Taehyung look at him like this has Jimin feeling beautiful, victorious.

Taehyung's mouth is on his skin next, an action that throws Jimin off guard completely. Taehyung moves his lips cautiously over the front of Jimin’s body, hands tracing circles and patterns into his sides and back with his mouth doing wonders just the same.

Jimin moans greedily, holds onto Taehyung’s shoulders for leverage and grinds back down into his lap whenever he can just to find that chaotic friction. He can't believe that Taehyung is touching him, kissing him. With each press of Taehyung’s mouth against his skin, Jimin feels that spot go numb. His body is on fire with all of these mixed and confusing emotions coursing through every inch of his veins only to be faltered by common sense and reality.

But he doesn't want to think about that right now. He can only concentrate on Taehyung's tongue swirling around the sensitive spots on his nipples, then he’s cupping at his neck to bring him back down in a passionate kiss that sweeps them both away.

The mood shifts.

"You're really hard," Taehyung breathes hotly into his mouth, and Jimin feels like he is about to come right then from just the way he says it.

"Can't - can't help it," Jimin grinds down again, this time with more force and they both feel it wholeheartedly. Jimin smirks. "So are you."

Taehyung moves his mouth again this time to a delicious spot right on the skin of Jimin’s left collarbone. His tongue circles around the area while his hands dig into Jimin's waist, thumbs pressing into his hip bones so suddenly that Jimin winces. He sucks at that particular spot hard, and Jimin squints at the exciting pain and grabs tight onto Taehyung’s shoulders.

Taehyung pulls away with a huff once he’s done, and Jimin tries to move his eyes to see the mark Taehyung left him but it’s no use in the darkness. "Probably won't be able to explain what you just did."

"Probably not," Taehyung's mouth is seeming relentless and is back at the same area, this time licking around the growing mark and finding one more spot right under it.

"Tae," Jimin squints his eyes shut again when Taehyung starts to lightly nip at the flesh and then suck at it like a piece of candy. "We have a show tomorrow and my shirt is cut low - "

Taehyung chuckles and pulls away, and the sound of Taehyung being cheeky sends Jimin into a frenzy.

They're kissing again, this time with a growing passion that Jimin finds incredible. He’s addicted to his mouth, addicted to the taste and little sounds that Taehyung makes in between their kiss. He bundles up Taehyung's shirt and pulls it over his head.

"We shouldn't stop, right?" Taehyung mumbles against Jimin's mouth once his garment is thrown away. "This isn't going to fuck anything up with us?"

Jimin gulps and again he wants to say a thousand things. Of course he doesn't want it to fuck anything up. Of course he wants everything to be perfect afterwards, for them to be together, for them to fall in love.

"Touch me," Jimin kisses him harder and feels desperate. "Touch me until I tell you not to."

Taehyung's palm is there immediately and pressing right against Jimin's crotch over his pants. Jimin jolts at the contact, and it’s so quick that he gasps right into Taehyung’s mouth. He can't even believe that Taehyung is being so willing to do this with him. It's both immediately frustrating and painfully annoying as he realizes that they could have been doing this all along if Jimin had just made a move to begin with.

The thoughts are short lived as Taehyung grinds his hand down harder and Jimin is so hard and moans out shamelessly. "Fucking, god I can't believe you're touching me right now."

"Same," Taehyung smiles cheekily. "You started it."

"You started it by just existing," Jimin says and Taehyung laughs fully now.

"Wow, that's cheesy."

"It's true," Jimin brushes back the blue strands of his hair, intertwines them within his fingers and gives them a little tug. Jimin’s breath his heavy as Taehyung continues to press his hand into his crotch. "Fucking love this, love everything about it. Love you."

Before Taehyung can say anything else Jimin is kissing him again, this time dragging his nails all the way down Taehyung's bare back. He sits up on his knees completely hovering over top of him now, forcing Taehyung's neck to bend backwards to keep their lips connected. Then Jimin digs into his skin as he lazily drags them all the way back up to the base of Taehyung's neck.

Taehyung hisses down his throat at the sting and breaks away. "That sort of hurts."

"What, you can mark me up but I can't do the same?" Jimin whines. "You sort of like it though, right?"

"I don't know," Taehyung says with another moan when Jimin puts pressure into his skin from his nails. "Kind of, maybe."

Jimin smirks and does it again. This time he watches Taehyung's sinful reaction as he digs his nails into the flesh on his back. He sees the flicker of pain flash through Taehyung’s eyes, hears the little groan escape his wet and swollen mouth. He's beautiful, Jimin realizes again, as he digs harder and rakes his nails up Taehyung's spine. It's erotic, this type of shared control that has Jimin's body reacting chaotically at a need to want to be destroyed by him.

Taehyung pulls him closer by his waist so their bodies are more flush.

"What else do you want to do tonight?" he asks with a heaving breath, his body obviously still reacting from the slight pain from Jimin scratching him.

"What do you mean?"

Taehyung removes his hand from Jimin's crotch, then cups at the side of his neck to bring him down so they are kissing lazily now.

"I mean, you seduced me and here I am. Now you're marking me up and making me feel all tingly," Taehyung says cutely and Jimin giggles against his mouth.

“You told me to kiss you,” Jimin lightly argues. “This is all technically your fault.”

"Whatever,” Taehyung hums. “So what do you want?"

"I want a lot of things from you, Tae."

"Any specifics?"

Taehyung lets out a little gasp when Jimin pushes him back down on the bed so he’s on his back once more.

"Why are you asking me what I want? If I seduced you then shouldn't you want something from me?"

Taehyung shrugs lightly. "I mean, I won't say no."

Jimin giggles again and runs his hands up Teahyung's bare chest to admire him this way for a moment - from the little curve of his hip and his squishy belly, and then finally to the bulge in his pajamas. Jimin bites on his lip as he eyes it dangerously.

"I can suck you off," Jimin says with a little hopeful gleam in his eye. "Legend says that I'm really good at it."

Taehyung squirms a little at the comment and when they meet eyes he nods. He shimmies further up the bed and fixes the pillow so he can sit more upright and gets into this position that has Jimin's heart clattering at how cute he is.

He's not nervous, per say. He's actually very confident in his abilities to give a mind-blowing blowjob but it's the fact that it's Taehyung out of everyone in this entire world who he’s about to suck off that has him anxious. Because Taehyung isn’t just anyone. He’s been in love with him for years now, even though Jimin is positive that Taehyung doesn't feel the same way towards him.

But he might. After tonight he just might.

Especially if Jimin sucks out his soul right through his dick.

Jimin's fingers trace through the cloth of his pajamas around Taehyung's hard length. Taehyung squirms again and Jimin takes in a deep breath to calm himself before gripping at the waistband and pulling down both his pajamas and briefs at the same time.

And well, Jimin has seen Taehyung in plenty of conditions - half naked while they changed in between sets on tour, in so many outfits and costumes and designs and moods that he couldn’t even remember them all if he tried. But maybe nothing ever really prepared him for seeing his cock so hard and ready like this.

Jimin sighs as his whole body convulses on the inside, and he wets his lips. He wishes the sun was shining or he could turn on the light or set the mood or something instead of sitting in this dark hotel room with just whatever light from outside shining inside and his eyes barely adjusted. He wishes he could cherish this rare and valuable moment of Taehyung naked in front of him as Jimin pulls off his pants and tosses them on the floor.

But he'll take what he can get. He's never had the courage or motivation to even make a move on Taehyung so this has to be perfect.

And Jimin has every intention of making Taehyung feel absolutely heavenly so that he’ll never want anyone else ever again.

Jimin runs his tongue over his mouth and wraps his hand around the base of Taehyung's cock. And fuck, he's sort of big, as expected. Jimin has maybe imagined Taehyung in sexual states plenty of times before, so finally being able to put an image to his daydreams and fantasies is driving him crazy.

Taehyung groans a little at the contact and his fingernails dig into the sheets already.

"When was the last time you got a blowjob?"

Jimin asks this mostly out of curiosity but also because he sort of really wants to know who's been sucking him off. It's this type of cruel pleasure, really.

He moves his hand slowly up his length and his eyes go wide at Taehyung's deep and sinful reaction. "Fuck, it's been a while."

"Who was it?"

Taehyung snickers as if he’s out of breath already. "Why do you want to know?"

Jimin shrugs cheekily. "Just want to know who I'm up against."

He moves his hand again, thumb collecting the little precome droplets on the tip and smears it around, and Taehyung shivers. "Just someone at one of the shows we did a few months ago, it was more like a favor. Fuck, Jimin."

"A favor?" Jimin scoffs lightly, drags his hand back down his length in an overly dramatic way and gives him a little squeeze. "Did you even like it, then?"

"Of course I did."

"Was it someone I know?"

Taehyung chews on his lip then nods again, and Jimin rolls his eyes.

"What does that matter, though?" Taehyung tries to argue but Jimin can tell he's getting worked up by the way Jimin is stroking him.

"It doesn't, I guess. But I bet they've got nothing on me," Jimin leans forward to kiss Taehyung as he continues to stroke him harder now, yet unsteady and teasing. Taehyung groans into Jimin's mouth, licks around his lips in order to taste him more.

"Jimin - "

"Did you see stars afterwards?" Jimin continues to tease, dotting his mouth all over Taehyung's in a sloppy way that has him chasing Jimin’s lips instead of the other way around. He wants Taehyung to be desperate for it. "Did they make you forget who you were? Did they make you think you'd ever have it that good again?"

"Jimin - "

"Did their mouth taste as sweet as mine?" Jimin kisses him fully now, completely consuming and dominating himself within Taehyung's mouth to get him more worked up by just his words. "Did they make you shiver, make you realize that you could never have anyone better?"

Jimin moves quick next, leaning down to lick right up Taehyung's cock before suckling right on his tip. Taehyung's hips buck upwards, his deep, heavy moan escaping from the pit of his throat and it sounds like fucking heaven.

Jimin swirls his tongue around the tip, purposefully puckering his lips and knowing that they are half the selling point for anything he does these days. He looks up at Taehyung once they're wrapped around the head, with a bit of spit dribbling out from his mouth. Then he smirks with the tip of his cock still inside his mouth.

"Holy fuck."

Jimin takes the compliment well, slides all the way down this time and lets Taehyung's cock hit the back of his throat with a little gag. Then he does it again and again until Taehyung's hand is in Jimin’s hair and his moans are only increasing into these little sporadic sounds that cause Jimin's cock to twitch inside his pants. Because it’s more than beautiful. These noises he can make by Jimin sucking him off like this, these breathtaking and unimaginable whines that Jimin has only dreamed of hearing is fucking unreal.

"Oh fuck, oh my god Jimin. What the fuck," Taehyung mumbles aimlessly and grips at his hair with a little more force, body starting to go rigid as Jimin focuses on his cock and works him so good.

And he works hard, because Taehyung is worth it. And fuck all those people who have ever gotten to touch him. Fuck everyone who thought they could do this better than Jimin ever could, who thought that they were maybe in love with Taehyung. Jimin wants to make sure that Taehyung only remembers his mouth and no one else's.

Jimin feels him twitch in his mouth. His eyes are watering and he's gagging a bit but he doesn’t care because all he's focused on is making Taehyung cum like he’s never fucking came before. Jimin uses his free hand to cup around his balls and stroke where he's not reaching with his mouth, and he bobs his head quicker, faster, just wanting Taehyung to feel everything and more.

"Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Jimin - " Taehyung stutters out and grips at Jimin's hair harder to pull him off. But Jimin is resistant and stubborn, stays right there and locks his wet, swollen lips right around Taehyung’s cock.

Taehyung mumbles something else that Jimin cannot understand, throws his head back and cums into Jimin's mouth.

Jimin takes it well. His mind is feeling hazy. Fuck, he just can't believe that he has his mouth wrapped around Taehyung's cock and it’s now so full of his fucking cum, and how did they even get here? He pops off sloppily, pools the cum right against his tongue. Then he crawls up Taehyung's body with his thighs straddling him, then opens his mouth to show it off.

"Holy shit, Jimin," Taehyung thumbs around Jimin's wet mouth with his body panting from his orgasm, his gaze seeming hypnotized as it traces all around Jimin’s features. And Jimin knows he looks good this way, can’t imagine that Taehyung is thinking about anything else other than how sexy he is with his mouth swollen and eyes watering and his fucking cum sitting on his tongue. "Swallow it, then."

JImin complies to the demand with a dramatic gulp, cringes cutely only because the texture is always so different but it's hard to imagine that anything else could ever taste as sweet. Taehyung wipes under Jimin’s eyes to rid it of the wetness.

"Did you see stars?" Jimin then asks with his voice coming out a little hoarse.

Taehyung laughs and nods hazily, then falls back into the pillow. "Yeah, a whole fucking galaxy."

Jimin's heart clutches at his words. And he wants to believe that they are sincere and on the same level that Jimin feels, yet something tells Jimin that he'll have to work harder to win Taehyung over when it comes to having anything more with him.

This might only be the beginning but at least it's a start.

Jimin kisses him sweetly next, rubbing his tongue all over Taehyung’s lips. He breathes out hotly. "I wanna cum all over your chest."

Taehyung hums in content and kisses him back, his hands automatically going to Jimin's pants and starts to tug them down. He's been hard for a while and ignored it for the most part from just wanting to just focus on Taehyung’s cock in his mouth, but now that he's free from his pants he can't think about anything else he wants to do rather then get off in front of Taehyung this way.

It's hot. There's something about straddling Taehyung and looking down at him like this, with his cock in his hand and Taehyung's big, beautiful eyes dripping with lust staring up at him just watching.

"You're so goddamn pretty, Taetae," Jimin shakes his head in awe, wraps his wrist around his length to jerk himself off now. "Like fuck, do you even know?"

Taehyung's chest raises with a deep intake of air. "Know what?"

"How fucking - how fucking perfect you are?" Jimin pants out, his one hand pressing against Taehyung's chest for leverage. "How goddamn fucking amazing you are?"

Taehyung doesn't say anything back, just watches as Jimin chases his high. His hands touch Jimin everywhere he can - on his thighs then between his legs to help Jimin get there faster.

Jimin feels his vision blur next - maybe it’s a sinful combination of Taehyung's hands all over him and being in this erotic position in the first place, but he's cumming almost without warning as a high-pitched moan explodes from his throat as his orgasm hits him like a train. The substance drips carelessly from his tip and lands sloppy around Taehyung's chest.

Jimin is sighing as he catches his breath and lets himself feel every inch of his high. He takes his fingers and touches at the cum all over Taehyung’s body, plays with it between his forefinger and thumb. Then he eyes Taehyung with a little smirk, takes his thumb that’s coated in his cum and sticks it right in Taehyung's mouth. Taehyung wraps his lips around Jimin’s thumb in automatically response.

The erotic motion sends shivers down Jimin's spine as heat pools inside his belly again. "Wow, Tae.”

He curves his thumb so it captures Taehyung's bottom teeth then he pulls him upwards by it, extracting a sudden and surprised grunt from Taehyung. Then they're kissing again, this time with Jimin holding him closer against his body, not caring for the mess, not caring if it's too much or too intimate. He just wants Taehyung to know, to realize that he could have all of this if he wanted. How can he portray these feelings without scaring him away? Because it'd be easy in this moment to whisper out how much he's in love with him.

But he doesn't want Taehyung to run away.

Jimin feels like he might cry, contrary to the confidence he had earlier about getting what he wants from Taehyung. And he doesn't like those emotions, has done well to keep them at bay and under the surface of his skin so that he doesn't find himself hurt with unrequited love.

But it's hard.

When he pulls away, Taehyung's eyes seem far away, confused. Jimin brushes back his freshly dyed hair and smiles.

"Let's clean up."

Taehyung nods and Jimin has another internal crisis at having to pull away, to remove himself from the complete comfort that is Kim Taehyung. But they have to clean up regardless. He pulls up his pants and together they fumble around the hotel room doing what they need to do. For the time being the aftermath doesn't seem awkward, and Jimin is immediately grateful. That’s the last thing he wants.

Jimin crawls back into bed and makes room for Taehyung to snuggle in as well.

But Taehyung is gathering his belongings, and Jimin looks at him with a sudden growing pout.

"I'm gonna go back to my room, is that okay?" Taehyung asks.

Jimin's heart trembles with his stomach immediately tightening.

"You don't want to stay?" Jimin says softly.

"I, um," Taehyung unplugs his charger from the nightstand. "I just think it's better for right now."

"Better?" Jimin immediately questions. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know, Jiminie. I just want to go to sleep."

"You can literally sleep right here," Jimin motions dramatically to the other side of the bed. "You were going to anyway, and now you want to leave?"

Jimin doesn't mean to sound so needy but he's confused. And he hates that Taehyung is also confused. This is not what he wanted at all.

"Yeah, that was before."

"Before - "

"Before we like, fooled around just now."

Jimin blinks a few times. "That doesn't make sense, Taehyung. I'm not going to jump on you in the middle of the night. I'm tired, we should sleep. This doesn't need to change anything."

"Maybe it does, though."

"Tae, please, you can't be serious," Jimin practically begs. "Don't do this."

"I'm not, I'm sorry," Taehyung looks at Jimin honestly. "I swear it's okay. What just happened is okay. I promise."

"You're not acting like it's okay."

"It is," Taehyung presses his hands on the mattress, leans forward to kiss Jimin quickly on his pouty lips. "It is okay. I just want to sleep in my own bed for the rest of the night, alright?"

Jimin understands to an extent at least. He nods and gives a smile that he hopes is convincing. "Okay."

Taehyung gathers the rest of his things and leaves just like that. Jimin pouts and hates that this is all over so soon. One minute he has the love of his fucking life wrapped in his arms, his cock down his throat, his lips on his own, and the next his room is just empty, quiet. Silent.

It's nearly 3:30 in the morning and they have a long day tomorrow with the second show. Yet Jimin is wide awake, unable to shake away the conflicting emotions that want to destroy him from the inside out.

He pulls out his phone and does nothing productive until he sees the first rays of sun emerge from the horizon.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

The next day, Jimin and the other members rehearse only briefly before spending the rest of the day warming up and relaxing before the show. Jimin hasn't really had a chance to realize if things between him and Taehyung are different, not yet at least. He doesn't want them to, especially not now when their mental state is so much more important than anything else.

But he can't help but wonder, mostly because it's been hours and he can't get Taehyung's moans out of his head, or get the taste of his cock out of his mouth, or stop feeling his fingers on the crown of his head as he sucked him off. And he wants more, he wants everything.

Jimin tries to focus and it's so hard. He even spends an hour or so by himself to warm up his voice and try to get his head back in the game. Yet his feelings, even when he’s alone for a little while, seem to consume him.

It's so frustrating.

Back in the dressing room before the concert, the rest of them are changing into their first outfits of the night and it’s not anything new or odd to do so in front of each other. They never really look at each other like that, and Jimin has never been creepy enough to stare at Taehyung while he’s changing to respect his privacy.

But there is a split second where both Jimin and Taehyung one-hundred percent forget about their battle scars from last night.

It doesn’t go unnoticed from the other members.

"Taehyung! What the fuck happened to your back?!"

It's Hoseok who shouts this out as loud as he can while Taehyung changes into his shirt with his upper body completely exposed. And alongside his back are Jimin's long scratches indented into the flesh and it’s so obvious as to what they are, but not obvious as to who put them there.

Panic. Immediate panic flashes through Taehyung's eyes and he looks right to Jimin, maybe on instinct. Hoseok's eyes follow his gaze and so does Namjoon's, and Jimin reacts quickly.

"Why are you looking at me?!" Jimin laughs trying to play along, then tugs up his collar a little tighter to make sure his own beauty marks aren't in view.

"Taehyung, that's so irresponsible," Namjoon slightly scolds. "Where did you even go last night? We didn't get texts from the managers saying you went out."

The rest of them are getting dressed as normal, loosely paying attention and Jimin feels his heart race as Hoseok still eyes him cautiously. It’s not exactly an unknown fact that him and Taehyung like to spend a lot of time together on tour, and Jimin can practically see Hoseok’s wheels turning.

Taehyung has already flung his shirt over his body, ignoring the nagging that is coming from both Namjoon and Seokjin who has now joined in with some jokes that Jimin can’t help but chuckle at.

Jimin turns away and lets out a big sigh. And during the concert, everything is fine. No one gets hurt, no one looks at the two of them and suddenly figures out that that Jimin had sucked Taehyung's dick not twenty-four hours prior, or that all the scratches down Taehyung’s back are from his own nails.

And no one needs to know, not right now. Maybe not ever.

Jimin falls even more in love with Taehyung as the show goes on, uses that energy to feed it back to the fans that love them so much and support them endlessly. As he looks out at each and every one of them in the crowd, he wonders if they'd support him no matter what they knew about him.

The thought is sort of scary.

Jimin wraps his arms around Taehyung's waist as he waddles behind him after the show. Taehyung is sweaty and gross, all of them so tired and exhausted but feeling good about the performance regardless.

"You did so well," Jimin coddles into his shoulder, pulling Taehyung back against him even further so they stumble. "My little winter bear."

"Jimin come on, I'm hot," Taehyung whines cutely but Jimin only holds on tighter as a result. He presses his nose right against his neck.

"You know, you should let me put some scratches on you elsewhere."

"Sure, and get scolded again?" Taehyung scoffs lightly as he plays with the paper banner in his hand. "That was so embarrassing."

"The hyungs don't care. You don't have to tell anyone or explain it."

"The last thing we need is for someone in this company thinking there is a scandal," Taehyung tells him and Jimin loosens his grip on Taehyung's from behind. He rolls his eyes at his friend.

"No one's gonna think that," Jimin says. "You're being really dramatic right now."

"I'm not, I'm being realistic. One of us has to."

Jimin stops in his tracks and grabs onto Taehyung's wrist making him stop as well. "What is wrong with you?"

Taehyung looks at the floor first, then glances around to make sure there isn’t anyone following them with cameras or paying too much attention to the conversation. "Nothing, there's nothing wrong."

Jimin steps closer and looks right at him. "Is it because of last night?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"What upsets you about it?” Jimin pries selfishly, because he needs to know what’s going on with Taehyung either way. “We had fun, right? And we can have more fun. Us being soulmates is sort of a good cover for hanging out, no one thinks it's weird."

"Pretty sure Namjoon will put two and two together, especially if I keep showing up with scratches on my body."

Jimin shrugs carelessly. "So what. We can just deny everything. Come on Tae, you can't tell me that you haven't stopped thinking about it."

Taehyung wets his lips nervously at the comment, looks around again out of instinct to make sure no one is listening. There are staff walking around and now that they've stopped in the hallway it's been noticed. Taehyung touches at Jimin's arm and together they head for the elevator. But they aren't alone, not anymore. And inside with the other staff members there is this growing heaviness between him and Taehyung as they catch each other’s gaze in a different type of way after not being able to say what they need to say to each other. It’s heated, and Jimin swears it seems desperate even.

Jimin shifts on his feet and gulps at the change in Taehyung's eye as they watch each other.

He looks like he wants to fucking devour him.

They all gather their things from the dressing room and head back in separate cars to the same hotel where they split and take some time for themselves after the concert. But Jimin, as always, is feeling lonely, and the only thing he can think about is wanting to spend more time with Taehyung in whatever way he can.

That fact hasn’t changed just because he sucked his dick.

 

 

 

Jimin convinces one of the guards on the floor to escort them downstairs, and between the two of them they manage to sneak into the pool area. The hotel staff tells them to keep the lights dim to stay out of sight that way a bunch of fans don’t start swarming the place, and luckily it works.

The indoor pool is large and sort of fancy, and there aren't any windows leading outside, only to the gym that's attached and the one hallway where the guard is staying out of sight to not attract anyone. Jimin steps in and does some laps in the water, and it feels great just relaxing and getting a small workout in that doesn’t involve lifting weights next to Jungkook who puts them all to shame.

Taehyung keeps his head above water and is apparently nervous about his hair getting messed up, and he hates the chlorine which Jimin only makes fun of him for.

They swim together and relax just enjoying each others company like every other time before when they didn’t have some random intimate night in the hotel room, and it's times like these that Jimin can easily forget about those particular feelings for Taehyung. Because at the end of the day, Taehyung is his best friend and nothing will ever change that. And things may be different now because he sort of sucked him off and best friends shouldn't do that, but he finds that he can still be comfortable around him even in times like this.

To Jimin, that has always meant so much more.

But it doesn’t last long.

At some point while Jimin is leaning against the wall in the more shallow side of the pool, Taehyung starts to swim over and his eyes are trained right on him. And it's a special type of look, something that causes the air between them to shift again, as if there is some unspoken desire that just needs to be addressed.

Jimin swallows hard as Taehyung zeroes in. He wets his lips on instinct, notices how Taehyung's eyes are watching his mouth.

Then he's right there, his hands on Jimin’s hips pushing him back into the cement wall. He dips his head to capture Jimin's lips right against his own in a kiss that nearly sweeps him away.

Jimin moans instantly, he just can't help it, and he gives in way too easily to Taehyung’s advances. Because fuck - Taehyung is kissing him on his own?? He grabs at his shoulders anxiously and brings Taehyung in closer, holds the nape of his neck while their mouths move against each other in a motion that is so swift and perfect.

It’s like Taehyung’s mouth was designed just for his.

And he should be worried about a thousand things - like how they're in public, how the guard is probably hanging out somewhere and watching them make out, how they can't always be safe from prying eyes.

Yet it's difficult to think about, especially when Taehyung's mouth is delicious and undeniable. It fits right against Jimin’s so fluidly. He sighs with a little whine. "We should just go back to our room if you wanna mess around."

Taehyung presses against him further and Jimin winces into his mouth. "Why? Don't think you can be quiet?"

Jimin gulps. "Quiet from what?"

Taehyung disconnects their mouths, uses his hands to turn Jimin around so he's facing the wall. Then he feels Taehyung's mouth against his ear, the hot breath against it causing him to shiver all the way down to his fucking toes. Jimin grips at the cement edge, feels Taehyung's hands roam all around his body.

"I wanna touch you again."

Jimin's body ignites.

Taehyung's deep, mumbly voice against his ear is a whole other level of pleasure on its own. And he can't believe it. It's not that he's been planning for Taehyung to want to make first moves on him or anything but fuck - is this really working? All he had to do was kiss him barely once and suddenly this is actually happening?

Jimin smiles devilishly, bites down on his lip as he glances back over his shoulder a little. "You can touch me all you want, whenever you want."

"Yeah?"

Jimin nods. "I've always wanted you to touch me. I’ve always wanted this."

Taehyung hums and kisses at his ear again, staying just like that for another second longer. "You keep saying stuff like this, that you’ve always wanted to kiss me and now you’ve always wanted me to touch you. Why?”

Jimin feels nervous again yet he keeps his cool demeanor on the outside, because he doesn’t want to fuck this up. He's probably saying too much like he did last night, and he doesn't want Taehyung to run away or get scared, or stop. So if Taheyung thinks that this is just for fun - to just experiment or fuck around - then that's what it can be.

Jimin swallows down his pride.

"Well duh, I mean, come on. You're so hot and stuff, who wouldn’t want you to touch them."

Taehyung chuckles and the sound vibrates through Jimin's body like static. But it also crushes at his heart and reminds him that they’ve always been just friends.

And he’s not sure if that will be changing anytime soon.

"You're pretty sexy,” Taehyung tells him.

"Why don't you show me how sexy you think I am?"

Taehyung swipes his tongue over Jimin's ear again, this time moving his hand down the front of Jimin's swim trunks to swipe over his crotch. Jimin lets out a little hiss and grips onto the edge of the wall out of immediate desperation at Taehyung touching him again.

He moves his palm against the material, rubbing over it harshly until Jimin feels himself getting hard so easily. And with Taehyung's breath hot in his ear, Jimin can't help but let out a tender moan already which Taehyung apparently finds cute. Then both of Taehyung’s hands are untying the string on his shorts with urgency, before he's pushing them down just enough for Jimin's cock to spring out from under the water.

Jimin gives a nervous look over to the door, but nothing seems out of place and the guard isn't watching so that's good. Jimin grins cheekily wanting to have some control and moves Taehyung's hand so it's right around his length.

"You want me to be quiet?" Jimin asks sweetly as Taehyung starts to pump him.

"You have to be, Jiminie," Taehyung tells him into his ear, his large hands wrapping around him completely and Jimin moans.

“You don’t want to hear me?” Jimin tries again, and Taehyung only laughs lowly.

“Of course I do,” Taehyung breathes out.

"Mm, feels good though," Jimin sighs as the pleasure starts to course through him. He grips at the cement again and whines. "Tae - "

"You're really sensitive," Taehyung's mouth is on his neck with his tongue swiping over the wet skin.

"Don't give me another hickey," Jimin pants out as Taehyung's hand moves a bit faster. He can practically feel Taehyung pout against his skin and it makes him snicker.

“Just a little one,” Taehyung is relentless and Jimin feels him nip the skin on the back of his neck as he starts to suck at a spot there. Jimin chews on his lip, knowing that the mark will be more than visible and he’ll have to try and convince one of the makeup artists to cover it up before Namjoon or any of the others see it.

Taehyung pumps him fast now and Jimin reacts appropriately with his head falling back onto Taehyung's shoulder as he moans out quietly, even though what he wants to let it all out and express vocally to Taehyung how good he’s making him feel right now.

The water sloshes around them with Jimin’s sounds echoing lightly from the interior walls. And it feels so fucking amazing, with Taehyung holding him like this, with Taehyung wanting to touch him and kiss him and mark him up, and everything is just so perfect. Fuck, he's crazy about him, wants to do a million more things if Taehyung would let him. And he'll push down all of these disruptive feelings if he can just have Taehyung wrapped around him like this every single fucking day.

"Fuck, I'm close," Jimin reaches one hand back to grip onto Taehyung's neck. Then he feels Taehyung's other hand slip down the back of his shorts to palm over his bottom, gives the flesh a hearty squeeze. Jimin moans again, chest thumping as Taehyung's fingers venture between his cheeks.

"Can I touch you here too?" Taehyung moans into his ear.

Oh fuck. Fuck.

"Yeah," Jimin breathes out immediately. “Oh god, okay, yes.”

Taehyung nips at his shoulder, then presses his finger gently against his hole and Jimin squints at the resistance. “Don’t tear my ass apart since we don’t have lube.”

"Only wanna do it a little bit," Taehyung mumbles into his skin. His wrist jerks him off quicker now, faster, urging Jimin to his orgasm which Jimin is easily complying too. Taehyung's finger is barely inside of him, just crooking slightly to give it both a painful and uncomfortable stretch but still feeling so stupidly good. And all the blood rushes to Jimin's dick as the water continues to slosh around them from Taehyung’s frantic motions and Jimin lets out this very loud moan that he just can’t hold back.

"Not so loud, Jiminie."

Jimin bites down on his mouth to muffle his sounds, sucks on his lips and thrashes a bit in Taehyung's arms at wanting to fucking scream. Taehyung pushes his finger in deeper and it hurts but everything feels so good. His vision flashes and his belly churns. Jimin cries out softly through a choked and strained moan. "Fuck, I'm cumming - "

He cums right into the water with an epic sigh escaping from his throat in the process. Jimin grips onto the back of Taehyung's neck as he rides out his high quietly with his breath heaving and his head slightly dizzy from the entire situation. Jimin turns and Taehyung kisses on his cheek. “That was amazing.”

Taehyung pulls out his finger then runs his hand up the length of Jimin's stomach to his chin. He turns it further so his mouth can find Jimin’s in a sweet kiss.

"You're incredible."

Jimin’s stomach churns at the comment and his heart starts to race at how sweet Taehyung is being. Maybe secretly he loves the praise and urges Taehyung for more.

"What else am I?" Jimin asks. Taehyung laughs charmingly and starts to tie up the string on Jimin’s shorts.

"Very sexy."

"And?"

Jimin turns in the water to face Taehyung again. He looks up to his best friend with a hopeful expression, even sticks out his lip and tries his best to be everything that Taehyung would want in that moment and more. He’s just hoping for Taehyung to say something that can give Jimin this idea or impression that this could be more between them.

He knows his chances are slim to none, but he can still dream.

"And I'm really lucky to have you as my best friend," Taehyung pushes back some of Jimin's wet hair from his face only for the fading purple strands to fall right back in his eyes.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I don't know," Taehyung suddenly shrugs and seems like he doesn't want to say what he wants to say, but Jimin encourages him further.

"You can tell me.”

Taehyung tongues his cheek and twirls one of the pieces of Jimin’s hair around his finger. "Well, I mean we don't have a lot of time to experiment or get off and things like that. You're my best friend, so knowing I can do these things with you makes it feel safer. It’s nice."

Nice.

It's nice.

"So what, we're best friends with benefits now?" Jimin asks this quite seriously. Taehyung looks down at him and chews on his lip, seems to be contemplating something in his head but not being able to say it. And Jimin is still hoping for the best, just praying for Taehyung to say anything else rather than just agreeing with him.

Because while he told himself that he would be okay with this, whatever this is now between them, he just might not be.

The guard chooses that moment to stick his head in from the door, says that they need to get going for one reason or another. They nod and get out of the pool, dry themselves off and collect their belongings before sneaking back up to their rooms. In the hallway, Jimin gives Taehyung one last confusing look before they part ways to their own rooms.

Jimin takes a shower to rid himself of the chlorine, tries very hard not to just start crying because fuck he told himself he wouldn't do that, that he'd be fine with whatever it is between them or whatever ended up happening from this.

He shakes it off, crawls into bed and prepares for their schedule the next day.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

"Wow."

Jimin's eyes are completely blown out as he stares down at Taehyung on his knees inside the stall of the bathroom in some museum that he and Namjoon had dragged Jimin to a few days later. Normally he'd rather go shopping with Hoseok or lay on the couch all day even if they are in a city he’s never been to, but today he decided to go with them in order to spend more time with Taehyung, and to take some cute pictures of Namjoon for the fans.

Taehyung has his cock sitting languidly in his mouth with both hands resting against Jimin’s thighs, eyes big and watery as he just looks up at Jimin from this position with his eyes sparkling.

"Oh my god, Tae. You look - you look so good."

Jimin places his hand on the side of Taehyung’s cheek, brushes his thumb down it so lovingly as if he’s touching something more precious than anything inside this stupid museum. And just like all the times before when Jimin had imagined him and Taehyung being together in any type of sexual sense, nothing in his head compares to the pure vision in front of him right now.

It could be another perfect time to tell him how he feels, tell Taehyung how beautiful he is on his knees and how much he loves him. He could just say it while Taehyung’s mouth is stuffed full of his cock.

But he doesn’t.

A little line of drool escapes the side of Taehyung's mouth, and he picks that moment to slide off until his lips are wrapped around the head, puckered and adorable, wet and perfect.

He sucks at the tip so good, tongue digging into his slit, head rolling around to keep Jimin's cock right against his mouth since his hands are still holding onto Jimin’s thighs with his nails bluntly digging into the muscle. Jimin throws his neck back with an agonizing moan while his head hits the stall wall. "Fuck, Tae."

Taehyung pops off cutely, sticks out his tongue and lets his cock bounce against it. "Like it?"

"Fucking love it. Love you. Love everything, fuck."

Taehyung hums in content and takes him back in his mouth, this time going to work in order for Jimin to cum this time, and he's done teasing. Jimin can only hope that the door to this incredibly fancy museum doesn't open and the lewd sounds of Taehyung sucking him off in the stall doesn't reach anyone’s lingering ears, and he especially hopes that Namjoon doesn’t wander in to check up on them to figure out why they’ve been gone so long.

Jimin watches as Taehyung bobs his head, loves the gagging sound escaping from his throat, cries out quickly without being able to hold back any longer since Taehyung has been teasing him for what seems like hours now inside that bathroom.

He physically clenches his body and moans out. "Tae, I’m gonna fucking cum."

Taehyung opens his mouth with a sigh, and normally Jimin would be craving to coat Taehyung's pretty face in his cum just to claim him in that way, but they're in public and they’ve been taking too long already to have to worry about the mess. So instead he just shakes his head and lets Taehyung wrap his long fingers around his shaft to catch the cum as Jimin orgasms into his fist with an exaggerated groan.

Taehyung chews on his lip cutely afterwards, stands from his place on the floor with a fist full of cum, and Jimin closes his eyes as his orgasm lingers and makes him shiver. "Wow."

Then Taehyung's mouth is right above his in a teasing kiss, and Jimin welcomes it completely. He tastes remnants of himself on the corner of Taehyung's lips. And the kiss throws him off a little because it's sort of sweet and sensual compared to the way Taehyung just sucked him off.

"I'm glad you came out with us today," Taehyung says against his mouth before pulling away completely. Jimin catches his breath and pulls up his pants to get himself together.

"Me too.”

“I like spending time with you like this,” Taehyung says and Jimin notices that he’s acting a little shy, and he finds it adorable. Jimin buckles his belt, reaches out to tuck some of Taehyung's hair back under his hat and smiles.

“I always like spending time with you.”

“I know,” Taehyung nods. “But, I like this. I like you. I like us like this.”

Jimin feels his insides rumble again, and maybe it’s different this time because he’s not really sure what Taehyung means by that. Of course they like each other. And of course Taehyung would enjoy spending time with Jimin if that means getting off every once in a while, and being able to do so safely, just like Taehyung had said that night in the pool.

Jimin isn’t sure what to say so he just ushers Taehyung out of the stall to clean up. Afterwards, Taehyung and Namjoon enjoy the museum, walking around as if he didn’t just have Jimin’s dick down his throat ten minutes ago, and Jimin watches Taehyung enjoy the scenery, take pictures of everything that seems precious to him.

And he falls even more in love, because Taehyung is more beautiful than any exhibit he's ever seen.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

Kim Taehyung has a body fit for the gods.

He's so perfectly lean and outlandishly broad, with his skin a golden color and curves in all the right places. Jimin loves every part of him, loves the dip against his waist, the deep crevasse of his collar bones that just beg to be sucked on, his ass and how it sort of jiggles a bit when he walks, his cock…

...and his hands.

God, Kim Taehyung's hands are so massive and cover Jimin's entire body as if he's something small and fragile. When his palms press into Jimin's hard body and he wraps his fingers around the most intimate of places, Jimin feels as though Taehyung is utterly consuming him.

Jimin feels obsessed with them, obsessed with how his fingers pleasure him so easily by just barely touching over his own flesh.

His body litters in embarrassing goosebumps as he lays naked in Taehyung's hotel bed, his arms at the side of his head on the pillow and his body exposed and completely ripe for Taehyung to take if he wants to.

And Jimin knows he wants to tonight. He can see it deep inside of Taehyung's dark gaze as he sits up in the bed on his knees between Jimin’s open legs, magical fingertips gliding against every inch of Jimin's skin as if he’s memorizing each dip and shape.

Taehyung is looking at him with a small, deadly smirk.

"You're shivering."

His voice is low, so low that it sends vibrations through Jimin's body even more that cause his him to react automatically. He noticeably gulps as Taehyung traces his finger against his hip then again under the deep curve of his v-line, circles around his little happy trail to the other side of his body, then drags his nails all the way back again. His other hand rests on Jimin's knee, the fingers on this hand gently rubbing at the skin around it, sometimes creeping up his thigh only to slide right back down.

Jimin doesn't even know what to say or do. Part of him feels that if he says something that it'll ruin everything. It's easy to be silly and sarcastic with Taehyung on the daily, as it usually relieves some tension between them, but this moment seems different.

Jimin feels like he’s skating right along the top of a frozen lake that’s just begging to be cracked.

Taehyung's mouth presses against his knee where his fingers had just massaged a spot while his other hand comes down to rub inside of his thigh.

Jimin trembles again at the light touch, his cock growing and growing shamelessly with each little tease of Taehyung's fingers against sensitive parts of his body.

Taehyung kisses that spot again and again until his lips start to trail further into his legs that are stretched out and open, still exposed, and waiting.

He's been waiting for what seems like forever to Taehyung to do something, yet Jimin cannot even deny how amazing it feels to just be laying here letting Taehyung’s beautiful hands wander all over his aching body.

"Feels good?" Taehyung breathes out hotly, the heat seeming to scorch at Jimin's meaty thighs as Taehyung's mouth gets closer to his cock and other sensitive areas.

"Yeah," Jimin manages to answer with an aching sigh. "Can we - can you touch me more."

"Of course," Taehyung's voice is so gentle, so fantastically hypnotizing that it makes Jimin feel faint. He sits up again and reaches for the little bottle of lube they managed to buy in secret when they had made a store run earlier. Even doing such a small thing like that had Jimin nervous, thinking that they'd be recognized for buying a stupid bottle of lube, and it's not like he could ask the manager to get it for them unless they wanted to get scolded again.

They've done well at hiding their little love bites and marks from the hyungs, and believe they have convinced the stylists not to squeal on them, but still Jimin is on edge.

Taehyung squirts a bit of lube on his fingers, those long golden fingers that Jimin has been craving to be properly inside of him for days now.

The anticipation is all consuming.

Taehyung pushes back one of Jimin's legs then eyes him with a more serious tone. "This is okay?"

Again Jimin wants to be sarcastic, maybe take Taehyung's fingers and shove them inside of him himself and yell at him for taking too long. But he holds back that instinct and lays there dreamily, and there are needy parts of him that want to be taken care of and admired.

The fact that it’s Taehyung who’s admiring him is unimaginable.

Taehyung smiles something cute, leans down just as cutely to kiss Jimin quick for reassurance. "Pretty."

The compliment is simple yet it makes Jimin's heart flutter longingly at how sweet Taehyung is being, how attentive and concerned he’s been towards Jimin these last few days while they fucked around.

Yet once Taehyung's lubed up finger is rubbing against his hole, Jimin’s mind races to another level.

He had stretched himself earlier that day and done what he needed to do just in case a night with Taehyung like this could finally happen. He's been waiting and wanting for an opportunity for them to be more intimate outside of sneaking in kisses here or there, or getting blown in restrooms while they’re out in public traveling around. And now that they're finally here it's unbelievable, and it’s all happening so quick now.

Taehyung's long finger squeezes inside of him in one go.

Jimin exhales at the pressure, his body reacting automatically to Taehyung pressing his finger inside without stopping. The lube helps and keeps it slick while Taehyung sticks his tongue against his cheek and gauges Jimin's reaction.

Jimin has his eyes trained on Taehyung as well. He wants him to see, wants him to realize how good he makes him feel just by one goddamn finger. He wants him to know how much he wants this, how much he wants him.

"Tight,” Taehyung grumbles and shifts more comfortably on his knees with his tongue wetting at his lip in the process. Jimin moans something fantastic when he twists his finger a particular way while pulling it all the way back out at the same time.

“Oh my god, Tae,” Jimin exhales softly, his voice sounding far away and barely recognizable.

"Clenching around me already,” Taehyung is more or less mumbling to himself while he coats a little more lube on his fingers, then teases back at Jimin's rim. "Want me that bad?"

Jimin's mind is in a foggy haze. He's never even imagined him and Taehyung being this close or intimate, or for Taehyung to even want him that way. Yet here he is, being so gentle with him and speaking to him like this. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get used to it. Not sure if he ever wants to.

Jimin just nods. "I stretched already."

"I can tell, but you're still pretty tight," Taehyung hums lowly in content. "You did that for me?"

Jimin might just lose it right there. He moans and arches his back when Taehyung teases another finger inside, poking and prodding around inside of him while Jimin lets his breathing stutter and his mind continue to feel as if he’s wading through shallow water at the continued stretch. Taehyung doesn’t take his eyes off of him, keeps his fingers lodged so deep inside of him while he watches every single motion of Jimin’s body reacting to Taehyung fingering him like this.

“God,” Taehyung breathes out so low that Jimin can barely hear him. “You’re something else.”

Taehyung removes his fingers then and Jimin flinches at the release. Then there is the loud fumble of the wrapper from the condom as Taehyung goes to slip it on, obviously not able to wait any longer. But Jimin comes back to his senses, reaches down to touch at Taehyung's wrist.

"Don't want it."

Taehyung smirks a little bit with just a twist of his mouth. "No?"

"I just want you."

"Who was the last person you slept with, then?"

Jimin scrunches his nose and looks away. "I don't wanna talk about that right now, Tae."

Taehyung leans over him to kiss him sweetly once more, takes his thumb and pulls down Jimin’s lip in the process. He hums out gingerly. "I trust you, but you should still tell me."

"I'm um, I mean," Jimin sighs out against Taehyung’s mouth. "I actually - I actually haven't done this a lot."

Taehyung pulls back so Jimin can look right at him now.

"That's okay, do you not want to tell me who it was?" Taehyung asks again. Jimin tenses and starts to squirm a little bit uncomfortably at Taehyung’s questions, and Taehyung catches onto the nerves. "Jimin, what's wrong?"

“Um, well," Jimin chews on his lip. "It's just like - there isn't anyone to tell you about, because - because maybe I haven't."

“Haven’t what?”

Jimin cringes and feels his body start to go rigid at having to say it out loud - that he hasn't slept with anyone like this before. But Taehyung suddenly gets it, blinks a few times in shock and tilts his head. "Oh. Wait, really?"

Jimin's hands covers his face as he feels his cheeks flush an embarrassing shade of bright red. He wants to hide, though there is really no getting away from Taehyung leaning over him this way.

Taehyung peels Jimin’s hands away from his face, his tone shifting to something much more curious and concerned. "Are you serious? Were you gonna tell me before I started fucking you?"

Jimin holds onto Taehyung's hands as he finds enough courage to look up at him. "I just did."

"No offense Jimin, but you don't suck dick like that was your first time."

Jimin scoffs and hits him. "Shut up! I've actually sucked so many dicks I couldn't even count if I tried. I've literally done like everything except this, even with girls and whatever. I just haven't wanted to go this far with any guy I've met.”

"What about with toys or - "

"I have some at home but I mean, I share a room with Hobi and we can't exactly take those things on the road with us. So my privacy is limited, I guess."

Taehyung makes a very cute and endearing noise and leans down to kiss Jimin just as cutely, and Jimin still feels a little embarrassed at the reveal but at least Taehyung isn’t making it awkward.

"We don't have to,” Taehyung tells him honestly. “We can do whatever makes you comfortable."

Jimin pouts at that comment. "Oh, you don't want to?"

"No. Yes! I mean, of course I do. Fuck, Jimin. This is all I've been thinking about for days now," Taehyung smothers his mouth again while his long fingers brush back the strands of Jimin’s purple tinted hair.

"Really?"

"Yes, baby. You're all I think about," Taehyung's mouth is on his neck next, and Jimin is immediately confused and feeling frustratingly conflicted again as Taehyung says these things him and says them this type of way that makes Jimin feel like he’s on top of the world. His mouth sucks on Jimin’s neck, bites the skin a little bit and Jimin is positive it'll leave yet another mark that they'll have to try and cover up.

"I am?" Jimin gulps as he digs his hands into Taehyung’s hair.

"Yes," Taehyung emphasizes without hesitation, sucks harder on his skin at that spot and Jimin winces from the sting. He's so hard now and pushes his hips upwards to try to find friction against Taehyung's body again. "I think about you constantly. You're always in my head."

Jimin's eyes water and he has to blink them away quickly before he fucking cries and has to try and explain it to Taehyung.

"So if you want to, if you let me, I'll show you how bad you've been messing with me lately," Taehyung's mouth is back against Jimin's, his hands swiping all over his body before his large hands wrap around his length and he starts to pump him slowly. "Because you have been, you know that?"

Jimin gulps and kisses him back between his words, grabs onto Taehyung's shoulders for dear life. "N-no, I didn't know."

"Yeah, well," Taehyung smirks then tugs at his mouth with his teeth and Jimin whines with no control. "You're driving me fucking crazy."

Jimin is kissing him back harder now, trying desperately to show him how much he wants this, even though he knows in the back of his head that it’s only going to end in tears, heartbreak and heartache, with Taehyung only chasing him for his body, being driven crazy because Jimin is so available for him now.

But it doesn't stop him from wanting it, because he's wanted it for so long. He's wanted his first time to be with Taehyung since before he can even remember wanting anything else.

Jimin pushes on Taehyung's chest just a bit, enough to give him the hint to sit back up which Taehyung complies to. Jimin grabs the bottle of lube, takes Taehyung's fingers and pours some more of it against them. They keep eye contact as he guides them down between his legs towards his stretched hole, and Taehyung rubs his fingers all over Jimin again to keep him nice and slick.

Then Taehyung is shifting closer, pushing back Jimin's legs and he opens them wide. Jimin takes one of his thighs and holds it against his chest so Taehyung has better access. And Jimin is just watching him, watching Taehyung's chest rise and fall, watches him slick up the head of his cock and lines himself up.

"Take a breath," Taehyung says softly attentively to him. "It's not like your toys, you know."

“Okay,” Jimin responds with a nod but he does the opposite and tenses promptly which causes Taehyung to let out a little encouraging smile.

"Relax, Jiminie."

Then Taehyung is pushing himself inside, and the pain is there immediately. Because Taehyung is bigger than his fingers that he used to stretch himself earlier, bigger than Taehyung's fingers, bigger than the little devices he has at home. Just bigger. Bigger and better. Bigger and so fucking unbelievable.

Jimin lets out a low, lecherous moan as his eyes squint shut, body automatically arching at the stretch, and Taehyung's hands are there to hold him down.

Jimin sighs loudly with the sound coming out new and unlike anything he’s heard before. He grips at the skin under his thigh as he tries to hold himself open for Taehyung to keep going. But truth be told the stretch is probably worse than he thought he could initially handle, and there is an automatic reaction to stop the pain.

“Tae. Tae -” Jimin chants lowly as he starts to tense, hole clenching around Taehyung’s cock in natural desire to feel better.

"Jimin, it's okay," Taehyung grunts but doesn’t stop pushing even against Jimin’s resistance until he's bottomed out completely and Jimin gasps in return. He runs his hands up and down Jimin's legs to try and show him some comfort. "How does it feel?"

"Hurts,” Jimin whines as he chews on his mouth, tries to erase the haze and fog in his head so he can try to feel better. Taehyung's hand is on his length next, stroking it just gently to try and divert some of the pain. It works for the most part, and it’s not like Jimin hasn’t had anything up his ass before but Taehyung’s cock is a whole new fucking discovery. “I’m okay, though.” 

Taehyung falls forward, kisses him and grinds his hips a bit, and it’s enough to elicit the most vivacious sound that Jimin has ever heard himself make. He's embarrassed at how he’s acting, but he feels safe, especially while Taehyung keeps his face close to his and does it again.

"You feel good," Taehyung lightly mumbles against his mouth, the strands of his hair tickling at Jimin's face as they stay close. "So good. Fuck you're - you're so, so beautiful, Jimin."

Taehyung's mouth is all over Jimin’s, his tongue licking at his lips and keeping them connected while he moves his hips once again.

"Mm, god. Tae - " Jimin's sounds are swallowed down even though his body is starting to react differently, especially at Taehyung’s words that make Jimin feel vulnerable. "I want - I want more."

Taehyung groans at Jimin’s request and sits back up on his knees, this time with a new type of fire in his eye as he looks down at him like he’s about to fucking destroy him. His hands go to Jimin's waist, tugs the two of them closer together which results in an acute shout from Jimin as Taehyung pushes into him hard.

Then just like that, Taehyung is fucking into him.

And it's good.

Oh god, it's so goddamn perfect, painful, and mindblowingly exhilarating that Jimin doesn't know what to do. His arms fall at his head, body laying there dumbly as Taehyung's hips connect with his thighs, hands holding him in place while he starts to grunt absentmindedly with each thrust.

And Jimin feels everything then, every single fucking emotion he's ever had for Taehyung curling inside his stomach like a violent plague that threatens his tears, threatens his entire body to explode in ways he didn't even know was possible.

He shouts out unafraid, hands grabbing onto the pillow and watching Taehyung fuck him this way and falling in love, falling so deeply in love with his best friend over and over again that it's not fair.

Jimin reaches for him wanting to be closer, and Taehyung loops his arms under his body to lift him onto his lap. Jimin presses his knees into the mattress and lets out an insufferable moan at the shift.

As Jimin grinds down onto Taehyung’s cock, they stare right at each other, with Taehyung's hands gripping firmly onto Jimin's waist and back, and Jimin's fingers tugging at his wayward hair. The angle ignites Jimin in an unendurable fire while Taehyung's cock starts to hit places inside of him that he didn't know existed. He never realized he could feel this fucking good.

Taehyung is sweating, and Jimin believes that in his moment he looks the most sinful that he's ever appeared - beautiful with his hair astray, eyes blown out and this obvious need to keep Jimin satisfied.

"Are you - are you okay?" Taehyung breathes out as he encourages Jimin to move on top of him, and Jimin feels his heart swell at how concerned he is. He nods hazily.

"Yeah, I'm - I'm perfect. You're," Jimin kisses him desperately. "you're perfect. Perfect for me."

Jimin grinds down a little harder with confidence as Taehyung moves upwards, feeling the action come natural to him as they share this personal moment together as one fucking soul.

Taehyung's hands are grabbing everywhere on his body, his kisses becoming harsh and strained now. His mouth is all over Jimin's neck, his clavicle, his chest and he marks him up everywhere he can. Jimin finds it difficult to care about the spots all over his body, finds it difficult to think about anything else except the momentous connection they’re sharing tonight.

Then Taehyung is pushing them down again with Jimin falling on his back, and Taehyung's long body consumes him as he grinds hard into his hips. "Want you to cum."

"I'm - I'm really close. It just - " Jimin moans abruptly at the sudden shift, reaches down his hand to touch himself as Taehyung's hips start to become a bit more frantic. "It just, fuck, it feels really good."

“Could fuck you for days," Taehyung starts to spew out aggressively as he chases his high and his voice ignites Jimin to only touch himself to the rhythm of his words. "Fuck you forever. Fuck you everywhere in this fucking world on this fucking tour. Fuck you until you fucking pass out."

Jimin squints his eyes shut as he jerks himself off, and matched with Taehyung fucking him like this he feels that blazing fire build in his belly, cries out and grips onto Taehyung's body with his free hand.

"Fuck. Fuck Tae, I'm gonna cum."

"Yeah, come on baby," Taehyung plants his hands next to Jimin’s head and doesn't stop, just focuses on the way Jimin is feeling and that spot that he's hitting inside of him with every single thrust. Jimin squirms and curls into himself as he cums all over his hand with a cry. His body goes rigid yet he convulses at the same time as if he can't control the reaction from being fucked while his orgasm hits sets his entire body on fire.

Taehyung pulls out quickly while Jimin is still cumming, only needs to touch himself for barely a second before he’s immediately there as well. Cum shoots onto Jimin's hand that’s still wrapped around his cock, some of it dripping carelessly all over his thighs and on his belly.

Jimin chokes out a little laugh and is exhausted as he becomes lightheaded. He’s dizzy as if he’s been on some twisting amusement park ride and it finally just came to a chaotic and sudden stop.

Taehyung's hands find a place on Jimin's legs as he sits between them breathing heavy and riding out the high and watching Jimin react in the process.

Jimin feels everything again, feels dirty and exposed, feels that with Taehyung looking at him like this that he could maybe fall in love with Jimin if he really wanted to, if he just tried.

Jimin reaches for him again greedily wanting to stay close. Taehyung obeys easily and falls forward onto his body, holding himself up as they kiss sweetly in between their highs.

He should tell Taehyung right now. He should tell Taehyung how much he loves him, tell him how he’d do anything for him if he only asked. He should tell him that he's his whole world, that he's perfect, that there isn't anyone else that he's ever wanted more.

He should just tell Kim Taehyung that he's so fucking in love with him.

But just like all the times before, Jimin doesn’t say a damn thing.

Taehyung cleans them both up, helps Jimin into pajamas and lays in the bed next to him with his arms wrapped around him from behind. Jimin feels Taehyung nuzzle at his neck, feels his hot breath against his sensitive skin as they settle in and try to sleep.

But Jimin can never sleep easy, and tonight is no different. His eyes water in the aftermath of everything as he finally has time to truly realize what just happened.

His emotions are chaotic.

Between the pain in his body now that he’s positive he’ll feel tomorrow during rehearsal, couples with the pain in his heart at assuming Taehyung doesn’t feel the same way about him, Jimin has a paramount urge to run away.

So that’s what he does.

His feelings for Taehyung are just too strong. And even though what happened tonight between them had been everything that Jimin ever wanted and more, he’s regretful.

Jimin slips from the bed, grabs his phone and shoes and only looks down at Taehyung once more. He knows that this can't happen again.

This is it for them. It has to be.

It's over.

And he leaves just like that.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

  

━━ ◆ ━━

  

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

 

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

 

Jimin twists his mouth as he lays in bed. Because truth be told, maybe he has been blowing Taehyung off.

He’s conflicted and incredibly sad. This tour has been amazing so far and concerts always give Jimin energy and lift him up. Yet Jimin's annoying feelings are threatening to push through the heavy blanket that he’s thrown on top of them in order to keep them weighted and heavy. It’s been years that he’s been able to hold them back, but after spending the night with Taehyung and sleeping with him, it's just been too hard to even try.

He’s constantly in a place between wanting to cry and rip his hair out or give in and suck Taehyung’s dick backstage after the concert while the adrenaline is still running through his veins.

It's starting to get difficult. Especially when Taehyung just sort of looks at him in this way while they’re on stage that Jimin swears goes beyond lust.

Or maybe he's just delusional, he's not sure. Maybe Jimin is just seeing what he wants to see.

Regardless of what it is, it's eating at Jimin's heartstrings in painful ways, and this is why he’s been lowkey blowing Taehyung off. Maybe he thought he could do this. Maybe he thought he really could just be best friends with benefits with Taehyung.

But honestly he can't.

It seems that Taehyung is starting to finally notice.

 

 

Jimin pouts endlessly, groans really loud and kicks his feet against the large bed in a tantrum, and he hates that he's in this situation right now. Because of course he wants to get screwed again, not only because it was literally amazing but because it's Taehyung.

Yet there is a very logical side to Jimin that pushes through the surface above his stupid feelings.

He told himself that he can't do this anymore, and he has to be strong in order to protect himself.

 

 

Taehyung's snippy response surprises him and Jimin is taken aback. He squints and starts to type again, knowing Taehyung and his tone even through a text.

 

 

Jimin rolls his eyes and leaves Taehyung on read. He's instantly annoyed, and immediately regretful. Because they do have a day off tomorrow and he could get fucked tonight. So why isn't he? This is everything he's wanted and yet -

Jimin leaves his phone on the bed and takes out his contacts, washes his face and gets ready for bed to distract himself. By the time he snuggles into bed, he reads a few messages from the group chat about the performance, endures some light scolding from Namjoon and contemplates ideas from Hoseok about the choreography. Taehyung has read all the messages but has said nothing. Jimin sends something back stating they'll work harder at the next show.

Maybe he waits for Taehyung to text him, or maybe he should just go right over his room and let him screw him into tomorrow (literally), but nothing comes through.

With a sigh, Jimin goes to sleep with a bitter taste on his tongue.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

And as quick as something between them had shifted in terms of a very sexual sense, it shifts just as quick to something being incredibly wrong with their friendship.

Jimin notices it just as quick.

He's always been attuned to Taehyung on more than a friendly level - the fans call them soulmates, the members even call them soulmates, and Jimin understands that the meaning isn't just about being in love. It's so much more.

So when Taehyung is the one who starts to avoid eye contact, when he tends to purposefully take seats near the other members and not Jimin when there is clearly an empty and open seat, when Jimin runs to him on stage and Taehyung only smiles before walking away, when Taehyung responds to everyone in the group chat except Jimin, it's not hard to figure out that something else has shifted for the worst.

And Jimin doesn't know if it makes him pissed off at Taehyung being childish or if it makes him ridiculously sad. It's this fucked up bundle of conflicted emotions, this tragic array of imperfections and insecurities that settle right on Jimin's heart.

Jimin starts to think irrationally because of it, mostly due to the fact that him and Taehyung rarely fight or stay mad at each other for too long. Is this really because he wouldn't sleep with him again? Is that all Taehyung even wants from him? So sucking him off, giving him handjobs in secret, making out whenever they can, having to hide their hickeys and scratches - all of that wasn't enough?

Jimin goes from being pissed off to angry to crying all in several seconds sometimes not understanding why Taehyung is acting this way now.

And he tries, at least, to do something, say something. But Taehyung is the one being distant.

 

 

Jimin doesn't believe him. Not even for a fucking second. It starts to eat at him, it starts to impact his performance and his mood. And he wishes he was the only one who noticed but he's not, because eventually he's being called out.

Namjoon corners him one day after the concert when Jimin is sitting in one of the lounges on the hotel room floor they booked that week. He's snuggled in a large black hoodie with his big glasses reading and literally pouting.

"Jimin-ah," Namjoon says to him sweetly and settles on the ottoman next to the couch. Jimin looks up vaguely from his book.

"Hyung."

"I need to talk to you about something," Namjoon says, and Jimin's insides automatically panic only imagining the worst. And he's right. "It's about you and Taehyung."

"What about us?" Jimin tries to pretend like he's clueless but Namjoon has always been able to see right through him. Namjoon sighs and shakes at Jimin's leg so that Jimin will give him his attention. Jimin closes the book and holds it to his chest. "We're fine."

"The stylists said they saw another something on your shoulder a few days ago. They had to give you a different shirt to wear under that one to hide it."

Jimin pulls his knees up on the couch. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Namjoon nods. "One of the managers also said that you and Taehyung seem distant now. You were spending a lot of time together but then it just stopped."

Jimin shrugs in an attempt to seem casual. "Taehyung and I have our moments. He's been with Jungkook a lot playing games I think since they both brought their computers."

Namjoon nods again but Jimin knows this look well, and he knows that Namjoon is waiting for Jimin to further explain. Jimin shifts a little on the couch and plays with a string on his pants. He caves easily.

"He's upset with me, I think. But honestly, I'm sort of upset with him, too."

"Why? What’s going on with the two of you?"

"I don't know,” Jimin says sadly. “We are, I mean - we were messing around for a few weeks but now we're not anymore."

Namjoon sighs and shakes at Jimin's knee again. "You guys shouldn't be messing around to begin with. The staff is okay at keeping these things to themselves, but if it ever got out - "

"I know," Jimin cuts him off with a nod and he does know, he does get it. Their reputations are important, and the fans are crazy enough as it is, so the public knowledge would probably destroy them. "We've been careful, though."

"He's your best friend, Jimin. You guys have to be in a good place for the entire team. It sort of goes beyond individual feelings," Namjoon tells him. "I hate to say it like that but it’s true."

Jimin's face drops completely at Namjoon’s words. He feels tears litter behind his eyes and can’t help but feel incredibly vulnerable in front of Namjoon now. Jimin has never been honest with anyone about his secret feelings for Taehyung. No one ever suspected that Jimin might be in love with him more than he should be.

Why would they?

"Jimin-ah, don't cry."

"It's hard, you know, because I care about him a lot. I -" Jimin sniffles. “I really hate that we’re not on good terms right now. It makes me - it makes me feel weak.”

Namjoon’s face softens as he rubs at Jimin’s leg endearingly. “You need to talk about it.”

"I will,” Jimin nods. “I’ll be okay. I'll make sure that me and Taehyung are okay too, don't worry."

"Jimin - " Namjoon says as if he's not convinced.

"Hyung, don't worry about me," Jimin manages a strained smile.

"I don't know how this happened with you two, and I don't want to come in the way of love or anything, but maybe just consider everything until after the tour."

"Sure, I will, hyung."

The conversation doesn't help. In fact, it literally makes everything worse for Jimin. But he gives Namjoon an encouraging smile when he leaves and a new wave of motivation courses over him to make sure that him and Taehyung become perfect for one another just like he’s always wanted.

He should just wait. He should just tell Taehyung that this is officially over between them, that they need to go back to being friends and that they are negatively impacting the team and that it should stop.

That's what he should do.

But instead, he does the exact opposite.

Because at the end of the night, the heart (and his body, apparently) wants what it wants.

And he wants every part of Taehyung again.

The next concert is especially hard, mostly because Taehyung has this way of singing right into his soul, with their eyes meeting and their hearts and minds connecting on so many levels that no one can truly even begin to understand. And while it's easy to forget about the potential struggles between them on stage, it's immediately afterwards and in between that has Jimin yearning for him now.

So Jimin decides that after the concert tonight he'll give Taehyung exactly what he wants again. If he wants to fuck Jimin into another galaxy then he’ll let him. If he wants Jimin to do strange, unthinkable things that he’s only ever read about in bad fanfictions then he’ll let him. He’ll do whatever it fucking takes to have Taehyung inside of him again.

He stretches himself immediately after the concert when they all get back to their rooms and takes care of everything he needs to in that regard to make sure he’s ready to go. Fuck tomorrow's schedule and how in pain he know he'll be when they rehearse. Fuck it. As long as he has him, as long as Taehyung can touch him and taste him again even if it’s just for one more lonely night then Jimin will be happy.

He has to be.

After everything is taken care of, Jimin scurries from his hotel and shuffles down the hall to Taehyung's room hoping not to be seen by any other members or the staff. He knocks frantically on the door with his heart shaking and his mind and body in a total disconnect on whether or not this is even a good idea.

When Taehyung opens the door, Jimin doesn't wait to push himself right inside.

"What's going on?"

But Jimin doesn't give Taehyung enough time for anything, just closes the door behind him and invades Taehyung’s space in a chaotic way. He throws his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders and brings him down against his mouth to kiss him passionately the best he can, moaning instantly and doing his best to keep Taehyung close to him in this frantic state. It's been days since he's even kissed him, days since they’ve been anywhere near each other. And as a result Jimin feels starved for him, as if kissing Taehyung is the only thing that could keep him alive.

Taehyung makes a panicked noise and tries to pull back enough to get some words out. “Jimin - "

But Jimin is kissing him again to swallow down his voice, doing his best to keep their mouths connected even as he pushes Taehyung back into the hotel room. Together they stumble backwards and Taehyung seems frenzied, puts his hands on Jimin's shoulders to give them some space. "Jimin, hold on!"

Jimin disconnects himself from Taehyung only to pull his shirt over his head and tosses the garment on the ground, then reaches out his hands to do the same with Taehyung's.

"Come on, I know this is all you want," Jimin tells him and Taehyung is resisting with his hands grabbing at Jimin's wrists to keep them away.

"Wait, just hold on," Taehyung says and Jimin whines, pouts, tries to get to Taehyung to touch and kiss him again but Taehyung is holding him back. "What the fuck are you doing??"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Jimin almost scoffs in desperation. "Just take your clothes off!"

"No! Jimin, just wait."

"No??” Jimin finally stops with arms reaching for Taehyung like he's frozen. Taehyung's hands are still around his wrist as he keeps him right there, and they're just looking at each other now. Jimin blinks a few times, shakes his head. "What do you mean no?"

"Jimin, can you just chill for like one holy second?" Taehyung exhales harshly.

Oh god.

Jimin's chest ignites in the worst way. His cheeks burst into flames in embarrassment as his emotions start to creep through the weakness of his attempted confident demeanor.

"Do you not want me? Don't you - don't you want this?" Jimin scammers out. "I'm so confused! You, you said - "

"Okay, okay. I know what I said," Taehyung lets go of his wrists and Jimin looks away with his face burning hot. "Just let me think for a minute."

"What is there to think about?!" Jimin asks hysterically. "You literally said you wanted to fuck me again so here I am ready to be fucked!"

"You also blew me off that night saying it wouldn't be good for your condition, and now you're just here. So I'm also confused."

Jimin opens his mouth with a huff. "You're really still mad about that?!"

"I'm not mad!” Taehyung tries to explain to him. “I just felt dumb."

"You felt dumb?" Jimin continues to argue. "This was all my fault to begin with. I shouldn't even kissed you that night. I shouldn't have done anything like that! I should have just kept everything I’ve ever felt for you inside and never let it out because now look at us!"

"Jimin, slow down. What are you even talking about?"

Jimin grabs his shirt from the ground and starts to panic again. "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

"I don't know!" Taehyung practically yells, especially now that Jimin is starting to freak out just the same. "Probably, I guess. If you're going to act like this, and if I'm going to get upset and feel stupid about it afterwards then yeah, it was a bad idea."

Jimin's his eyes water automatically at Taehyung’s blunt words. He clutches his shirt at his bare chest with his lip starting to quiver against all will to try and stop it. "You - you really think that?"

Taehyung shakes his head as if he’s exasperated. "Yeah, I do."

"Of course you do," Jimin eyes completely spill, and he sees Taehyung's face change in a need to be attentive only because that's the nature of their relationship. He steps forward but Jimin steps back and he shakes his head. "Of course you do!"

"I'm sorry!" Taehyung yells. "It's too complicated, right? The way you feel for me? The way I feel for you?"

"How you feel for me?!" Jimin yells back just as loud. "I highly doubt the way you feel for me is anything compared to how much I fucking love you, Taehyung."

Taehyung blinks a few times then wets his lips. "What?"

"I'm in love with you, Tae,” Jimin’s words slip from his mouth against his will, with his body feeling exhausted, his heart feeling depleted and unable to do this anymore. “I wanted to tell you a thousand times. I wanted - I wanted what happened between us to maybe be something or grow. I don't know. But it's never going to happen, right? You're not ever going to feel the same way."

"Jimin - "

"All I wanted to do was kiss you and know what it was like. Then - then it just evolved into so much more. It got out of control!” Jimin says to him honestly even though his body is shaking from the nerves. He just can’t hold this in anymore. “And god, all I want to do is be with you, let you fuck me again and have everything with you. And I thought that I could do it casually like this, just be friends with benefits and pretend that this was all real with us but you're right. You're right for stopping it, for stopping me. Because I'm the only one getting hurt right now. And if we fucked again or if we keep fucking around like we’ve been doing then I'm never going to get over it. I’m never going to get over you."

Jimin turns for the door and Taehyung goes to chase him but Jimin is already in the hallway. He's pulling his shirt over his head as Taehyung comes out behind him. "Jimin!"

It's bad timing, mostly because Hoseok is in the hallway with Namjoon and they’re just watching the interaction happen, with Jimin coming out of Taehyung's room shirtless and Taehyung calling after him. Jimin can't even deal with them or this right now and bypasses them completely, ignores their perplexed stares and goes quickly into his room. He lets the darkness envelop him like a blanket and ignores the immediate chiming of his phone from someone texting him.

He starts throwing random things on the table in a fit of anger - his rings, his phone, his bracelets all clattering against the wood surface haphazardly. He suddenly hates this room, hates this tour, hates his fucking life. Why did he let himself lose control like that and kiss Taehyung and allow this whole thing get so crazy?! Why did he do this when he knew he was just fine with them remaining friends?!

And fuck, did he really just confess to him? Did he really just tell him how much he loves him in some weak fit of anger? Did he really just blurt out how much he craves and adores him? Did he really just release this epic secret he's been keeping to himself for years now? And what was he expecting? For Taehyung to suddenly feel the same? For them to run into each other's arms like some bad movie or romance novel and for everything to suddenly be just picture perfect between them like a dumb fairy tale?

Someone is knocking at the door but Jimin can't be bothered right now. He's way too upset. His face is soaked from tears that haven’t stopped falling, his body becoming hot and his hands shaking. He starts to pace the room and he grips at the skin on his neck in a painful way that makes him want to crawl out of his skin.

There is a muffled voice on the other side of his door that sounds like Namjoon, he’s not sure. "Jimin-ah!"

"I'm fine!" he tries to call back the best he can but it comes out strained and choked. Namjoon knocks again but Jimin ignores him, knows that it's rude, knows that he shouldn't, knows that this is stupid and he needs to get it together. "I'm okay!"

His phone is going off again with endless chiming from his text messages, and between the sounds on his phone and the banging of the door, Jimin starts to violently shake. If they could just leave him alone for one fucking second maybe he could actually calm down. Instead, he's phenomenally anxious now, on the verge of a goddamn panic attack as the noises consume him, drown him, pinch at hurtful places inside of him that beg him to be self-destructive and impure.

Jimin falls to the ground with his back leaning against the bed and throws his hands on his head, pulls his knees to his chest as he tries to drown out the all-consuming sounds surrounding him in a vicious taunt. His heart races and thumps to a disturbed and offbeat rhythm, his body shakes as he cries and rocks back and forth with the annoying sounds rummaging through his body and stinging at every single insecurity that Jimin has ever felt

And between all of the noise, Taehyung's voice is the loudest of them all.

His mind swims inside a hazy bubble as internally his body starts to twist and fall head first into inertia as the panic takes over his body completely.

He closes his eyes and everything goes black.

 

━━ ◆ ━━

 

Jimin isn’t sure how long he had passed out for. The next thing he knows he's opening his eyes from a place on the floor at the edge of the bed.

Everything is finally quiet.

He wipes his lip at the little bit of drool there, then presses his hand against his forehead and his skin is blazing hot.

Immediate memories flood him as soon as he wakes up. He has an instant urge to check his phone just to see what time it is, but instead Jimin decides to take a shower. He lets the cold water beat at his back and metaphorically he hopes to wash everything away - his stupid feelings for Taehyung, the general pain in his body from working it so hard over the last several years, his self-doubt and insecurity, all of it. He just wants to be a better person, a better friend. He wants things to go back to how they were before he kissed Taehyung in their hotel bed a few weeks ago.

Feeling quite solemn and still decently sad, Jimin wraps the robe around his body and dries out his hair with the towel, then steps out into the room.

And Taehyung is just right there.

He's sitting in the computer chair twirling his phone in his hand wearing shorts and white shirt with his hair astray, gaze blown out and obviously tired. When they meet eyes, Taehyung automatically stands and he’s concerned.

"Jimin, are you okay?"

Taehyung is stepping towards him but Jimin feels different now with everything that just happened, especially after having a fucking panic attack over confessing his undying love for his best friend not a couple hours earlier. He closes himself off with an inward pull of his body, and Taehyung notices it right away and stops in his tracks.

"How did you get in here?" Jimin asks quietly as he tugs the string on his robe a little tighter.

"Your manager let me in. They're worried about you."

"I fell asleep, that's all," Jimin says and doesn’t dare to meet Taehyung’s gaze since he probably knows he’s lying. "So you can go."

Taehyung's face drops, his entire demeanor shifting in reaction to Jimin's behavior. "You want me to?"

Jimin wets his lips and sighs, then starts to fumble through his suitcase to find something to change into. He's embarrassed and still feels sad, and Taehyung being here right now just isn't helping him trying to recover.

"I just need some time to get over everything," Jimin says next as he pulls out random articles of clothing and drops them on the bed. "I don't need you to stay and coddle me."

Taehyung scoffs at his remark causing Jimin to look up.

"What?"

"You ran out of my room so quick you didn't even get a chance to let me say anything back, and now you don't want me here? You don't want to know what I have to say?"

Jimin swallows and tries to look uninterested, unfolding his shirt on the bed and smoothing out the non-existence wrinkles. "I already know what you're going to say."

"Oh, you do?" Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest, his tone coming out a bit mocking and Jimin doesn't feel in the mood for it. He's not ready to talk to Taehyung about this yet, it's way too soon. But it seems that Taehyung isn’t going to give him a choice.

"Yeah, you're gonna say that you love me too but not like that," Jimin closes his eyes and sighs as he’s forced to say what he says. "You're gonna say that you're sorry, and that you still want us to be friends, and that you want things to go back to how they were."

Taehyung lets out a little laugh and Jimin rolls his eyes.

"This isn't funny, Tae," Jimin whines as he finally looks back at him.

"It's not funny, you're just funny."

Jimin glares. "How is that any different?"

Taehyung wets his lips and looks right at him as he says his next set of words. "Jimin, do you really think I feel that way? Do you really think that I don't love you, too?"

Jimin blinks a few times and traces his gaze all around Taehyung's face with a little scowl suddenly appearing on his own features that he swears is unintentional. He shakes his head. "Don't do that. Don't you dare say things like that right now."

Taehyung is stepping forward and Jimin automatically steps away again not wanting to be anywhere near him right now, but Taehyung's hand is on his wrist and he’s keeping him close.

"I do love you," Taehyung then says with a firm press of his lips. "I do."

Jimin is scoffing again and tries to pull away from Taehyung as if his hands are burning him. "You're lying. You're just saying that."

"I'm not," Taehyung urges.

"Stop, just stop, Tae. I don't need you to give me sympathy or feel forced into saying or feeling that way!"

"I don't feel forced, Jimin!" Taehyung says loudly as he tries to argue his point. "I do! I -"

"Don't, just don't!" Jimin breaks free and his chest is heaving again as he steps further into the room trying to put distance between him and Taehyung. "You're only saying it because you feel bad."

"I'm literally not."

"Oh no?" Jimin turns and puts his hands on his hips. "So what, you just suddenly fell in love with me because I let you suck my dick and I let you fuck me? Because we started making out that night when we were both feeling lonely and it was all just for fun, right? You suddenly feel this way because you got to blow your load in my mouth every once in a while?!”

"What? No. God, listen to yourself," Taehyung tells him in exasperation. "Maybe - I mean maybe it was different for me. I don't think I've always felt this way for you but I don't know. Maybe it was just sleeping or something."

"Sleeping?" Jimin blinks dumbly. "Sleeping?! Your deep and pure love for me was sleeping for the last eight or so years? And what, it was only woken up by my lips around your cock and your cum all over my face?!"

"Jimin!" Taehyung actually laughs out loud, doesn't seem to mean to but Jimin's eyes go wide as he watches Taehyung's large smile become incredibly prominent.

"Stop laughing!” Jimin huffs out dramatically. “This is the opposite of funny, Tae!"

Taehyung is surging forward, and Jimin is resistant to Taehyung for a while as Taehyung tries to wrap himself around his body.

"Get off!" Jimin hits at him but Taehyung holds him closer, smiling and laughing so purely. "Why are you laughing?!"

"Will you relax!" Taehyung gets a good hold on his wrists again and Jimin finally stops squirming and starts pouting instead. And he hates that he feels so fucking overthrown right now. He closes his eyes painfully.

"Tae, please just go," Jimin breathes out exhausted. His heart hurts, his mind is so hazy and he's unsure what is going on.

"Jimin, look at me," Taehyung says but Jimin shakes his head, feeling embarrassed again along with a whole array of emotions that he can't even begin to understand. He knows he’s about to cry again and doesn't want to. He sniffles pathetically trying to hold it all back. "Jimin."

Jimin looks up to meet his eyes in defeat, and he’s only met with this alluring and unconditional beautiful smile from Taehyung that is filled with such sincerity that it takes Jimin's breath away.

"I love you," Taehyung says to him purely. Jimin's lip quivers in response as emotion floods him. He shakes his head.

"You don't."

"I do."

"No."

"I love everything about you," Taehyung says regardless of Jimin denying it. "I love your smile. I love how ridiculously emotional you are."

"Stop."

"I love how caring you are, how no one even compares to you when it comes to taking care of the others. You always put me first, you always look out for me."

Jimin feels himself cry, doesn't want to but he can't help it. Taehyung's hands are instantly there, long golden fingers brushing at his puffy cheeks and holding Jimin still while he looks right into his eyes as if Jimin is the only person in the whole world.

"So you want me to say I'm sorry?" Taehyung then asks. "I am sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry you ever had to doubt how much I love you. I'm sorry that you're upset right now. I'm sorry that I'm the one who made you upset. I'm sorry if you feel insecure, or if you don't believe me. I'm sorry I don't know how to convince you that I'm right there with you, I'm right here."

Taehyung kisses Jimin just once, a soft peck against his trembling mouth that causes Jimin's knees to go weak. His hands grip at Taehyung's arms for support.

"There's probably a million other things I need say that I don't know how to tell you right now," Taehyung says next with his voice low and quiet and sincere. "But if you give me a chance I'll figure it out, I'll figure out how to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear. I'll figure out how to be the best person for you."

Jimin's whole body erupts with his tears falling from his face at Taehyung's words. And he truly can't believe it, almost starts arguing again because it all seems so unreal.

Because Taehyung loves him back.

Taehyung pulls him against his body and lets Jimin succumb to everything. He rocks him and whispers into his hair, rubs his hands down his back in the most comforting way. Jimin holds onto Taehyung in fear of letting go, thinking that if he does then this will all be over and he’ll wake up to it just being a dream again. He sniffles and his tears wet Taehyung’s shirt. And he finally lets himself feel everything that he’s ever wanted, allows the blanket to be lifted from his heart that has always tried to keep him down.

It's magical, this unfathomable moment that is cascaded in raw emotions that Jimin is finally able to accept.

Eventually Jimin feels out of breath and exhausted. His body hurts and his heart feels overworked and so fucking happy.

He pulls away to look at Taehyung with hopeful eyes, smiles when Taehyung wipes at his face again at the tears that have finally dried.

"Wanna try to sleep?" Taehyung asks softly and Jimin only nods.

They pull away from each other only to crawl into bed. He turns off the light and feels the weight of Taehyung resting besides him in the dark, with only the light from outside cascading upon them similar to how it was the first night a few weeks ago when him and Taehyung kissed for the first time.

For a moment they just lay there facing one another, bodies barely touching, letting the darkness surround them in a soft, new type of secret blanket where the two of them can just be together. The outside world seems vacant and non-existent in that moment, and Jimin feels his mind finally catch up with all of the ridiculous emotions inside his heart.

Taehyung smiles. "What are you thinking about?"

"I’m thinking about what happens next," Jimin says honestly.

"Next we sleep," Taehyung says back cheekily, and Jimin gives him a little pinch.

"You know what I mean."

Taehyung nods in understanding and he looks hypnotic, like a fairy-tale character plucked right out of a novel. His hair is spread everywhere, the blue strands complimenting his features in such an odd way that Jimin finds entrancing.

“We don’t have to rush into things,” Taehyung then says honestly. “I’m still confused, sort of. This whole time I thought all we were doing was just messing around, but something started growing for you, and I got even more confused."

“I know, I felt that way too,” Jimin nods. His hand finds itself on Taehyung’s chest, and instinctively they are moving closer to one another.

"I didn’t know what it was and I acted like an idiot. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for being distant," Jimin says to him. "I freaked out after we slept together."

"Me too," Taehyung moves even closer.

"I should have told you how I felt years ago.”

“Maybe you should have, I don’t know. But I’m not confused about how much I love you, Jimin,” Taehyung says this firmly, taking his hand to place it right against his cheek. “I’ll love you until you tell me not to.”

Jimin doesn’t want to cry again or be consumed in his rapidly swaying emotions, so he just smiles, runs his hand up to the back of Taehyung’s neck and pulls him closer into a searing kiss.

He hums contently, his mouth becoming anxious and numb all at the same time by kissing Taehyung with these new found emotions, emotions that are shared between the two of them this time.

Jimin believes him. Against all odds he truly does.

They’ll try to make a future together, whatever it may be. It’ll be difficult, and it won’t always be perfect, but together as soulmates, they’ll make it work.

“I'll never tell you not to,” Jimin says to him wholeheartedly between their kiss. “Never.”

Taehyung lets his lips linger as they kiss each other lazily, mouths dragging over one another as if to taste each other for the first time.

“I love you,” Taehyung whispers. “I’m in love with you.”

Jimin sighs and feels his heart erupt with pure and raw admiration for Taehyung. “I love you, too.”