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The Lap Dance

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- Ta dada, daa, da daa, ta dada, daa, da daa, ta dada, daa, da daa, ta da da, da daaa..

It was the melody of Joe Cocker's version of You Can Leave Your Hat On, but Major Klaus Heinz Von Dem Eberbach had no knowledge of such a trivial thing. All he could hear was "da", and that was annoying.

Nevertheless, the thing that should have been annoying him the most, the fact that Eroica the thief was slowly stripping in front of him, actually didn't seem to perturb him.

- Ta dada, tata taa...

The blonde started with just a delicious movement of his hips, from side to side, and removed his cravat. But now, he was unbuttoning his blouse, slowly, deliberately slowly and swaying sensually at the rhythm of the imaginary orchestra.

Klaus seemed ecstatic, quite in shock. However, he was expressionless. He hadn't dare to look away, or say stop, or even act furious. He was paralyzed and felt obliged to stare.

Why was this happening, anyways?

Well, it was Christmas, one had to celebrate!

For a moment Klaus thought this had been indeed a terrible idea. He'd rather have his father sitting next to him nagging Klaus' about his failures in life than a perverted tipsy thief undressing in front of him.

But as soon as the shirt was entirely opened, he changed his mind.

Bah. Carpe diem.

He looked away only to grab his cigarettes. He put one in between his lips eyeing at the Earl struggling with his shoes. It was a pretty pathetic sight, so he gave the idiot an opportunity and lit the cigarette.

Dorian chuckled and took his shoes off. His mind was a mess. He felt exhilarated. The few glasses of wine he drank gave him the courage to do what he wanted but he actually was expecting Klaus to stop him. Yet, the Major was observing quite ardently. Oh, goodness, could it get any better?

It could. It could, oh lord in heaven, it damn could.

With his cigarette between his lips, Klaus was manspreading on Dorian's expensive sofa and loosening his tie. He was actually devouring the Earl with eyes, yet still so serious.

But who cared? He was enjoying the spectacle.

He hummed the song now, and finally barefoot, he turned around, showing his backside to the spectator. He looped his shoulders and let the blouse slide down his arms, delicate light lavender-coloured silk falling down with the exquisite movements of that exemplary gorgeous man.

He turned around again and lumbered towards Klaus, humming the song quite softly. His long slender fingers were playing with his belt as he kept swinging seductively, smirking at the older man sitting there looking at him with sultry eyes.

The blonde tossed his hair back and Klaus gulped. He abandoned the barely consumed cigarette and placed his hands awkwardly on his thighs, fingers digging into the firm flesh as he devoured the Earl with his eyes. This was so wrong. But yes, he has been drinking a bit too. And also, he was in those moments in which he needed, he *needed*, but he was too stressed, to look for some woman. And to be honest, if there was something the foppish thief was, that was being a fucking beauty from the smallest of curls to the toes.

And now he was almost climbing to his lap, lashing the air with the belt and then putting it between his teeth.

Dorian unzipped his pants and there was a little suggestion of underwear underneath. Klaus had seen even more than just underwear but for some reason this time, the cotton fabric was enough to drive him insane with desire.

He grunted and caressed Lord Gloria's crotch, which made the blonde moan. This made Klaus even hornier. He lifted both hands and clumsily held the Earl, squeezing his tender parts and eventually ripping off those tight pants.

Dorian threw the belt away and sat on his lap. Klaus held his hips almost roughly, his fingers always digging in the flesh more than should be necessary. The Earl leaned down to kiss him but with a growl, Klaus dodged and just kept caressing almost like a brute.

There was a little pout on Lord Gloria's lips but he didn't give up. He undid the Major's tie entirely and took it away.

- Major... - he purred with his prurient soft voice.

- Shh... - Klaus was still incredibly serious, only the little groans that escaped his lips and the soft pink of his cheeks suggested that he was aroused.

Also, that hardness inside his pants.

A button was opened and then another and then another, and Dorian was almost writhing in pleasure. He exposed all of his beloved chest and abdomen, and ran his shameless fingers over the dark fluff covering those firm pectorals. He may have even rolled his eyes, almost climaxing at the mere sight of him. He was seeing much more than he had seen in years. Not to mention touching. He teased a nipple between the index finger and the thumb. Klaus grunted and dug his fingers into his buttocks.

- Aaah Major...

- Sh-shhh...

Dorian pressed his chest against Klaus' and tried again to kiss him, failing a second time. He whined in frustration and pressed his hips against the other man, rubbing his crotch against the brunette's lower abdomen.

Klaus moaned and embraced his waist, but his other hand kept squeezing Dorian's buttock and pressing him closer. Dorian started rocking against him with a slow, delicious pace and Klaus tilted his head back. He gasped when he felt a warm tongue over his exposed throat, and he basically fucked Dorian's ears with the sounds he made when the thief bit his neck.

Klaus was already rocking upwards, following the idiot's rhythm and moaning softly whenever their hard lengths met in the middle. He was still fully dressed... Which was horrible because he tended to sweat quite a lot. He was already feeling his back a little damp.

- M-move... - he mumbled, pushing Dorian by his hips.

The blonde looked shocked.

- You gotta be kidding me...

- Shuddup.

Lord Gloria got on his feet, his adorable face exposing all his disappointment and frustration. Which turned into the most obscene, lascivious look when Klaus took off his shirt like only a man, a MAN, a man made of iron, nicotine, testosterone and sex would.

- Holy... Jesus fuck...

- Don't say such heresy, it's Christmas! - Klaus scolded, after taking his shoes off and undoing his pants with quite fast and skilled fingers.

When he was wearing only his white, still impollute cotton underwear he sat down again.

Lord Gloria could have sworn the man would have made even Greek sculptures blush. He seemed to have muscles Dorian didn't even know existed. Not overworked either, just, perfect. Exactly how they had to be. He was covered by dark body hair and he had several dark scars that stood out on his ivory coloured skin. Even his scars were beautiful.

He noticed he was shivering slightly and looked at the prettiest part, those emerald eyes. The brunette was smirking, squinting at him with an expression that clearly said "oh, ja, I am stunning, such a shame you're just seeing the whole pack, huh.”

Dorian blushed a bit and turned around. Incredibly, he felt overwhelmed. He could not... He could not compete with such beauty this time. This time he was in position to lose. How lame...

Klaus scoffed. But he looked at the man in front of him, all those gentle curves, the roundness of his ass, the delicacy in which the muscles had been drawn on him. He was excessively, hyperbolically beautiful. There wasn't a single spot out of place. Even the fluff covering his body was soft, light and seemed like made of gold. No muscle was too outstanding, no, everything was so delicate yet so strong.

He was so beautiful that Klaus wanted to kick his ass.

But he chose not to.

- C'mere, you imbecile... - he growled and pushed Dorian back on him by his hips.

As soon as he felt the firm but soft flesh of Lord Gloria's ass against his hardness he moaned and started moving again. He began rocking against him and his hands caressed his abdomen and chest.

Dorian moaned and arched his back, until his head was resting on Klaus' shoulder, and the cascade of golden curls fell down the Major's back. "Even his hair feels good against me. This seems like a fucking joke. It cannot be, I never felt this good in my life. It cannot be", Klaus was thinking while he nuzzled Dorian's neck and kissed the tender muscle that joined the neck with the shoulder. He who hated kissing. He hated kissing because it was so intimate, so ridiculous and foppish.

He felt tempted to go lower than Dorian's navel with his hand, but he wasn't sure yet. This was good and the thief seemed to enjoy it, judging by the goosebumps, the fast heartbeat and the animalistic little sounds.

Enjoying it? The word did not make any justice. Loving it? Not enough. He was losing his mind. They were doing just... Something almost innocent for an expert like Dorian but this far, it has been the best of his life. Klaus' movements were so rough, so desperate, but ah, those full lips touching his skin with light kisses, oh god, he could go insane. Klaus was oh so big too. So hot, ardent, firm, strong. So mesmerizing.

- Oooh god, mother Mary, baby Jesus and the little lambs... - he groaned, lifting a hand to grab Klaus by his head, gently.

Klaus chuckled and kissed Dorian's neck and ear. He hated kissing! But this was good? Also, the little hiss Dorian made when he gently got his earlobe between his teeth was so sensual that he didn't want to stop doing stuff that provoked it. More kisses, more nibbling and he had Dorian squirming deliciously against his hardness. He did a thrusting motion against his ass and growled deeply.

The times he had to kiss girls were just because it seemed they didn't want to do anything if he didn't kiss them first. They wanted that gross lips sucking, with that waxy red that tasted horribly. Prostitutes didn't kiss. He preferred prostitutes. But still, again that red wax against his fucking cock, so sick!

Ah, but... Dorian -usually, like that night- didn't wear lipstick...

Klaus found himself seriously considering kissing the bastard's mouth. He also seemed to need some touching down... There so...

- Turn around - he commanded.

Dorian didn't immediately, but after a moment he got up and turned, climbing on his lap again now facing Klaus.

- Major...

- Shhhhh...

Another whine, but the blonde started rocking against Klaus again. Now the pace was urgent and fast, and Dorian gasped and moaned when the older man grabbed his ass forcibly with both hands and pressed him against himself. Klaus' noises were divine.

Oh, he was so divine. Now his expression was indeed aroused. What a beauty. He looked so horny, eyes heavy-lidded and cheeks flushed, biting his lower lip a bit. It was like an impish wince.

He was too beautiful. He had to try once more.

He leaned down and tried to kiss him. This time Klaus accepted the kiss.

Oh... It seemed life changed radically when their hot mouths met.

Both moaned. Dorian almost had an orgasm then and there, but managed to last. Klaus kissed ravishingly, for the first time experiencing a fine kiss. Tasted like nothing but... It should have been sickening, but it wasn't. It had a tint of alcohol and saliva. He should have been choking and gagging but no, he was eating Dorian's mouth with passion. The blonde was a pro. He knew what to do with the tongue, the lips, the teeth. Oh, boy, the Earl was incredible...

Klaus shifted position and somehow, he made Dorian lay on his back on the sofa, and climbed atop him. He began rocking again. "Oh god...", he thought, but just groaned. The endless legs of the bastard squeezing him, his slender strong arms embracing him. It was really good, it was the first time he was willing to prolong the moment to savour each second, not just to relieve himself.

Dorian moaned deeply and got a fistful of Klaus' hair, making him hiss. The fact that the man spontaneously got on top of him to dry hump him was superlative. He was being fucked by Klaus, just the way he wanted it.

- Mm...major...

- Mh..?

It was the first time Klaus didn't make him silent.

- Harder...

- Like... This?

- Ah!

Indeed, he moved harder and Dorian was practically losing his mind. They couldn't kiss again, because both were too occupied panting and groaning but deep inside, both wanted to.

They couldn't last long. Soon Dorian was wincing and boy he was loud, yet correct, not a single curse escaped his lips, he only sounded very, very Christian.

- Oh Lord! God! Jeeeesus Christ!

He arched his back exquisitely and came with a sharp, dry yelp, squeezing Klaus between his limbs.

It was all it took, the image of the Earl climaxing, to make the Major come. He did curse in German and English and in some language than only boars may understand. He squished the blonde under his weight as he rocked and rubbed against him frantically, cumming inside his underwear, trembling and panting.

The mass of skin and limbs that both bodies created kept moving and jerking until the last little wave of pleasure faded away.

Dorian sighed deeply.

- Oh god...

Klaus shook his head slightly. For a moment he seemed slightly shocked. "What... Did I just do..?"

But he lifted his head and looked at Dorian. He was sweating and his cheeks were so red. His lips were parted and pink... Tempting. For the first time he saw a mouth he needed to kiss.

And he did. He put his hand on the back of Dorian's head and kissed him. Deeply, gently - almost expressing gratitude. They kissed for a while, not so long as to trigger another round of lovemaking but long enough to satisfy that need to taste each other's mouths.

When they parted, Lord Gloria kept his eyes closed for a moment, but Klaus opened them immediately, like checking if it was alright to do. It seemed so. The Earl seemed mesmerized and blissful.

When Dorian opened his eyes and found Klaus looking, he smiled. Cautiously, he lifted a hand and caressed his black hair and then his cheek. The Major almost rolled his eyes but then the slight hint of a smile appeared.

- If... Thievery ever fails, you can always try lap dancing - he said sounding quite serious.

Dorian snorted.

- That is for you alone, if you ever want it again.

Klaus seemed to consider it. He considered how much he liked watching. He considered how good it felt, how particularly good this encounter was, how soft and tender those lips felt. He opened his mouth to say something and then reconsidered.

- ... Merry Christmas, Lord Gloria.

- Merry Christmas, Major - Dorian smiled- I love you.

- ... - he gulped. In the absence of something smart to say, he decided to lean down and kiss the bastard again.