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Best Laid Plans

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“I’m going to fuck Supergirl,” Lena said to Kara. Kara choked on her water.

“Excuse me?” she said when she could finally breathe. “You’re going to what?”

“Fuck Supergirl,” Lena repeated.

“Oh. I thought that’s what you said.” Kara picked up her fork and looked down at her salad. She didn’t know if she could eat it now. Her stomach might reject it. “Does Supergirl know?”

“Not as yet,” said Lena, idly skimming the cocktail menu. “But I’ll let her know.”

Kara bit the inside of her cheek. “What if Supergirl says no?”

“Oh, I don’t think she will,” Lena said brightly. “She’s basically been eye-fucking me since we met.”

Kara’s face went hot. “She…has?”

“Absolutely. How terrible is it if I order a margarita at ten in the morning?”

“I’d forgive you,” said Kara. “But let’s go back to the Supergirl thing. And, um, the sex.”

“What about it?” said Lena, waving down a waiter.

“When are you going to tell her?” said Kara.

“What can we get for you?” said the waiter.

“You have to try their five-cheese ravioli,” Lena told Kara. Even in her muddled state, Kara could agree that this sounded good, and they ordered.

“Anyway,” said Lena, “I think I’ll call her tonight.”

“Oh,” said Kara. “That sounds…oh.”

“Doesn’t it?” said Lena.

“Yep!” said Kara. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment.”

Alex was not very sympathetic. “Are you crazy?” she said when Kara called her in the bathroom. “This is your chance.”

“Um, Alex,” said Kara, cracking open the bathroom door to check on Lena. “Small problem. Lena doesn’t know I’m Supergirl.”

There was a silence, and then Kara heard the unmistakable strains of “Eye of the Tiger”.

“Alex…are you at SoulCycle?”

“It’s a valid form of exercise!”

An old woman with cracking pink lipstick came in and took a stall, so Kara turned on one of the sink and spoke underneath the sound of rushing water.

“For Kylie Jenner, maybe. What’s next? Almond-milk?”

“A perfectly fine substitute for cow milk,” said Alex. There was the sound of a door swinging shut, and the music cut out. “Okay, I’m in the parking lot. I can give you my full attention.”

“I don’t know if I want it now that you’re straight,” says Kara.

“I’m going to tell Mom you’re making fun of me.”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just…” Kara lowered her voice even more. “I’m so stressed about this Lena situation, you have no idea.”

“No, I get it,” said Alex. “Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of awkwardness with women.”

“Has any of them ever told you they wanted to have sex with your alter-ego?”

“This is definitely a unique situation,” said Alex. “But the advice is the same I’d give anyone: either you let her in, or you don’t. You can’t have it both ways.”

“I hate this.”

“Listen, Kara, can I get back into my class? I pre-paid, and—”

“Alex,” said Kara. “Sometimes I seriously worry about you.”

“I doubt you worry about me more than I worry about you,” said Alex, and hung up.

Kara went back to Lena. She couldn’t think of what to say. “Alex is doing SoulCycle.”

Lena tilts her head. “Oh. Interesting. Very straight of her.”

“That’s what I said!”

They smiled at each other. This was the worst day of Kara’s life. She’d rather be in the Phantom Zone. Okay, obviously she wouldn’t rather be in the Phantom Zone, which gave her years of intense claustrophobia and panic attacks. But Lena Luthor was testing her. Maybe Rao was testing her. Pull your shit together, Kara Zor-El! He said.

I’m trying! she responded.

Their food came, and the ravioli was delicious. Lena ordered a bottle of the house red. “I’m still trying to decide what I’ll say when I call her.”

“Call?” said Kara, a piece of ravioli halfway to her lips.

“Supergirl,” said Lena.

“Right,” said Kara. She played with the hem of the white linen tablecloth and cast around for something, anything to say. Lena was being unfairly gorgeous, with her red lips pursed around her wine glass and her catlike green eyes focused on Kara.

Why was Lena so perfect? One person shouldn’t be that perfect. It wasn’t fair to everyone else. Specifically, it wasn’t fair to Kara, who had to sit on the other side of that perfection. Why was Lena’s smile so…so…ugh!

Unfortunately, Lena did not feel the same about Kara’s smile. She did, apparently, feel the same way about Supergirl’s smile, which was fun fun fun. Kara stuffed more pasta in her mouth before she said something she regretted. Also, she felt bad, because she was going to have to turn Lena down tonight. Sleeping with Lena as Supergirl without revealing her identity felt intrinsically wrong. She couldn’t hoodwink her friend like that.

But she could, apparently, hoodwink her the tiniest bit. “I heard Supergirl’s straight.”

Lena looked at her like she was an idiot. “Kara. Have you seen her complete inability to function around women?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s adorable, really,” said Lena, her face going all dreamy. “She puts up this strong front, but I can tell when she’s stumbling over her words.”

“Maybe that’s your superpower!” said Kara.

“Maybe what’s my superpower?”

“Oh, like…your gaydar.”

Lena didn’t laugh. She wasn’t even paying attention. Going by her face, she was still thinking about Supergirl.

God fucking damnit.


Kara’s Supergirl phone rang at exactly 8 PM, just as she was settling down in her comfy sweatpants to watch Grey’s Anatomy. She mournfully muted the TV. Yes, it was a rerun, but it was the best episode! It was the one where Christina’s powers first manifested and she almost burned Meredith, who actually deserved it because she was so annoying, and—

“Hello?” Kara said.

“Supergirl. It’s Lena,” said Lena. Right. The Call. “I need some advice.”

Kara gripped the remote so tight that it cracked. “Happy to help.”

“How would you seduce a reporter?”

“I’m sorry, I—wait, what?”

“A reporter,” Lena repeated.


“A re-por-ter,” Lena said, enunciating every syllable.

“You mean…”

“I’m going to ask out Kara Danvers.”

What was this? No, seriously, what was this?

“Kara Danvers,” Kara said slowly. She got up and started to pace, cell phone still clutched to her ear. “Maybe you should call her instead of me?”

“But I want your advice,” said Lena. She practically drawling. “Do you think ace reporters like chocolate?”

“Um, yes,” said Kara. “Fuck!”

“Is something wrong?”

“Nope,” said Kara, pulling her foot out of the hole she’d made in the floor. “Everything’s great.”

“What about roses?”

“What color,” Kara asked inanely.

“Red. Big red roses. And Chinese food.”

“Chinese food?” said Kara. “I…yeah. Ace reporters definitely like Chinese food.”

“Good,” said Lena. “Because I have all these things, and I’m at your front door.”

Kara whipped around and X-rayed through the door. Sure enough, there was Lena, dressed in a beautiful dark green pantsuit and holding an armful of roses, a box of chocolates, and a bag of takeout. Lena smirked at her.

“Want to take a look at my underwear, too?”

Kara flipped off her X-ray vision. For the first time in her life, she was trembling. “But you don’t know where I live.”

“Uh-huh,” said Lena. “Very convincing. The food is kind of heavy, so if you could let me in…”

“Right!” said Kara. She dashed into her bathroom and brushed her teeth and changed her clothes seventeen times and redid her makeup. Ten seconds later, she was unlocking the front the door.

“Lena,” Kara said. She could barely get the name out. Her heart was pounding. “You brought me flowers.”

“Very observational,” said Lena. “I can see why you’re a reporter.”

Kara wiped her sweaty palms on the skirt of her dress—since when did her palms sweat?!—and stepped back to let Lena in. After the door closed, they both stood silently. Finally Kara said, “How long have you known?”

“Since I saw Kara Danvers put away twenty shots at the CatCo New Year’s party,” said Lena.

Damnit, Kara knew someone would notice.

“Also, your reaction at the restaurant today.”

Double dammnit.

“And you’re not mad?”

“Kara,” Lena said. “I’m here. In your apartment. Opening myself up to rejection. So please, just tell me, will you go out with me?”

“Um, obviously,” said Kara. Lena dropped the flowers, the roses, the chocolates, and tilted her face up. Kara noticed that her sharp cheekbones and her eyelids were dusted with glitter. “You’re beautiful.”

“Kiss me,” said Lena.

So Kara did.