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Lions and Serpents and Snowboarders, Oh My!

Chapter 4: Lie to me, I love believing

Notes:

Chapter title comes from the song Greenwood by Banner Pilot

Chapter Text

SCORPIUS

The wooden stairs creaked under Scorpius’s socked feet as he slowly crept up to the master bedroom. Albus was right behind him, clinging to the hem of his jumper, his breathing slow, careful. After his dad’s Patronus had appeared in the middle of tea to inform them that he and Harry would be out late, it hadn’t taken Scorpius much to convince Albus that they should sneak into their dads’ room to use the hot tub, but now they were actually doing it, Scorpius was having second thoughts. What if their dads came back suddenly? What if they hadn’t gone out at all and this was all a test? Would he open the door to find Mr Potter standing there, accusing finger pointed at Scorpius’s chest?

“Al, are you sure this is a good idea?” he hissed, one faintly trembling hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob. He couldn’t hear anything above the pounding of his heart in his chest, the blood rushing through his ears.

“What do you mean?” Albus hissed back. He had plastered his body against Scorpius, both now squashed into the narrow landing in front of the door. “This was your idea.”

“I know, but… I mean… it’s not like I haven’t made questionable decisions in the past. What if this is one of them? What if your dad is lying in wait? How will I get him to like me by breaking into his bedroom?” A thought occurred to him suddenly and he snatched his hand away from the handle. “Oh Merlin, what if they have wards set up and can tell we’re here? Why didn’t I think of that? Your dad was the head of the DMLE! He’s not going to just leave doors unlocked and unwarded willy nilly. Oh, sweet Circe, what have I done?”

Albus’s ran a hand up his back, coming to rest on Scorpius’s shoulder and squeezing. “Scorp, it’ll be fine, okay? Dad won’t have warded anything and he’s not trying to catch you out. He likes you, you idiot. Why do you think he invited you?”

Scorpius took a shaky breath, the comforting pressure of Albus’s hand slowly bringing him back from the brink of panic. He sagged, leant a little into Albus’s chest. “I honestly have no idea why he invited me, but if you say he likes me… well, I suppose I have no choice but to believe you.”

“Good. I won’t lie to you, Scorp, not ever.” Albus straightened and reached past Scorpius for the doorknob. “Now, let’s go find that hot tub. Okay?”

“Okay. Yes. Hot tub. Brilliant.” Scorpius nodded and shot Albus a grin over his shoulder, relieved he was taking charge. Albus was with him, so he could face anything. Even Harry Potter’s disapproval.

The door opened without resistance and with barely a whisper, revealing… an ordinary bedroom. No angry fathers, no screaming wards. It was, unsurprisingly, much better appointed than Scorpius and Albus’s room, and much larger too, but it was still an ordinary bedroom. With only one bed.

“Why’s there only one bed?” Scorpius asked.

“Uh, dunno. Maybe they transfigure a spare one every night?”

“No, I don’t think so, because look...” He pointed at the bedside tables, one with his Dad’s night light and a paperback, the other with a Quidditch magazine and a half-drunk glass of water, and the two sets of pyjamas, one folded neatly on the pillow, the other scrunched up and sort of abandoned on the edge of the bed. “There are clearly two people sleeping in that bed.”

“Huh, weird.” Albus pushed the door shut and locked it.

“Weird? Is that all you have to say? Albus, our dads are sharing a bed! Do you—” He quickly scanned the room, checking that there was absolutely no sign of Mr Potter or his dad about to jump out and surprise them, dropped his voice to a whisper. “Do you think they might actually, you know. Be friends now?”

“Oh, uh. I dunno.” Albus scrunched his nose, an adorable frown lining his forehead. “I guess they could be, but can you honestly see it?”

“Hmm, I suppose not. Can you imagine if they really did become friends? I wonder what they’d talk about.”

“They’d probably bond over their mutual hatred of each other. Can we not talk about my dad anymore?” Albus waved a hand dismissively. “Come on, the hot tub’s through here.” He took Scorpius by the hand and lead him to the French windows, shutting down all further talk of fathers and unlikely friendships.

The view across the valley as the doors swung open was spectacular, but Scorpius couldn’t spare it more than a glance. He was completely captivated by the bubbling water of the hot tub. It was lit by softly glowing orbs, and a delicate lavender-scented steam rose from its surface. He wondered if it was just left on permanently or if Lorenzo had known this was where they were headed and turned it on for them. He thought he’d rather the former than the latter, even if it seemed terribly wasteful. Would Lorenzo tell on them to Mr Potter…?

“You get started, I’m just going to set up a proximity charm on the door so we get a bit of warning if our dads show up.”

“Oh! Good idea.” Scorpius watched him head back into the bedroom. If anyone came within a couple of metres of the door, Albus’s wand would vibrate and the tip would glow a bright white. Some of Scorpius’s tension dropped from his shoulders. He hadn’t realised how worried he’d been by the thought of them getting caught—not that they were planning on doing anything untoward, he reminded himself. They were just two friends enjoying a hot tub together. A perfectly normal activity for friends to do. Just because Albus was his boyfriend, and it would be the first time they had done anything like this…

With another look over his shoulder, Scorpius tugged off his jumper, tossing it over a patio chair, and then pulled off his socks. The frigid air immediately nipped at his bare skin, the flimsy t-shirt doing nothing to shield him from the cold. He wrapped his arms around himself. What was taking Albus so long? He wished they’d gone over some ground rules before coming up here. He had no idea how naked he was supposed to get. Was it a pants and t-shirt thing? Or a completely naked thing? How did one even typically use a hot tub? He’d never been in one before! This was all becoming very stressful. Trousers were obviously a no. He could take his trousers off, then maybe Albus would be done with securing the room and he could follow his lead.

His hands were shaking, a combination of cold and nerves, as he unbuckled his belt and dropped his trousers to the floor. Merlin, but it was freezing. Why were they doing this? He stepped out of the fabric pooled around his ankles and shuffled closer to the tub. And then suddenly the cold was gone. It was like stepping into a pocket of warmth. It wasn’t too warm, but the icy gusts of air were gone and the edge had been taken off the cold. He kicked himself. Of course an outdoor hot tub in a wizarding property would have a charm to protect them from the elements. Feeling much better about the situation, Scorpius whipped off his t-shirt before he could over-think it any more and stepped into the steaming water.

“Oh sweet Merlin, this is bliss,” he murmured, his eyes slipping shut as he lowered himself into the water and sunk up to his chin. Jets of bubbles massaged muscles that were sore from two days on the slopes and the soothing scent of lavender washed away all lingering worries.

“Good, right?”

Scorpius flicked his eyes open and found Albus leaning against the door frame, watching him, his gaze as hot as the water Scorpius was submerged in. Heat flared in his cheeks. “It’s not bad,” he said, raising his chin out of the water to answer before sinking a little deeper into the water, bubbles tickling his lips and nose.

Albus smiled and shook his head, then stepped forward. He’d already taken off his hoodie and socks, and Scorpius watched him closely as he approached. He could see his own t-shirt, dangling off the back of a chair where he’d chucked it. Would Albus take off his t-shirt too? He really hoped he’d at least remove his jeans because Scorpius would feel completely ridiculous if Albus climbed in practically fully clothed while he was lounging around in his pants.

He held his breath as Albus’s hands—hands that were trembling as much as Scorpius’s had been—went to his flies and fumbled with the button of his jeans. Slowly, slowly he pushed the jeans down, stumbling a little as he kicked them off his feet.

With his trousers discarded to the side, Albus looked up, finally meeting Scorpius’s eye again. He smiled, smaller this time, nervous, his fingers toying the hem of his t-shirt. Scorpius couldn’t take his eyes off him. He watched, enraptured by the sight of Albus standing there in just his t-shirt and pants, the bottom of his stripy boxers poking out beneath his t-shirt. His legs were skinny, fuzzed with dark hair. The knees, knobbly and scarred from a childhood spent trying to keep up with his older brother. The moment between them stretched taut. Scorpius remained submerged. He wanted to see if Albus would take off his shirt unprompted. Thought it might give him a clue as to what his expectations were once they were both in the hot tub together. After what Albus had said in his letters before Christmas, Scorpius had been expecting him to be a little more… proactive, he supposed. Especially with them sharing a room. But after two nights, they'd still done nothing more than a bit of cuddling, kissing, and some light frotting. It was just the same as being back at school! He tried not to let it worry him. He knew Albus was intensely secretive with his emotions—frustratingly so sometimes—and the last thing Scorpius wanted to do was pressure Albus into moving faster than he was comfortable with… but the thing was, he knew Albus wanted to do stuff. They’d spoken about it, in that roundabout way where neither of them said the words they meant, but… but they both understood, and that was the important thing. They’d both been waiting for time alone in order to progress to more… naked activities, and now they actually had that time alone, Scorpius had had high hopes. He just wanted to see his boyfriend naked—was that too much to ask?

“So…um. Should I take this off or…?” Albus asked, plucking at the edge of his shirt.

Scorpius sat up so quickly, water sloshed over the sides of the hot tub. “Sweet Circe’s tits, yes. Off. Now. Then come here. Or are you waiting for our dads to come back so you can have an audience?”

Albus blinked and then snorted out a surprised laugh. “Alright, keep your knickers on.” He tugged the t-shirt over his head, making his hair poke out in all different directions, and then stood there, t-shirt bunched in his hands, shivering as he stared back at Scorpius.

Scorpius was trembling with excitement because this was Albus, his boyfriend, about to get into a hot tub with him wearing nothing but his pants! They'd never done anything like this before, never really had the opportunity. Albus had always said it was because he wanted to be able to take his time getting to know Scorpius's body—he didn't want a rushed fumble in the dark. But Scorpius knew that in reality, it was largely because he was so terrified about getting found out. And Scorpius was okay with that! He didn’t care that his boyfriend was so worried about what other people thought, that he always put a stop to things before they went too far, or that he would leap away as if burnt every time Scorpius got a bit too close when they were in public. He honestly didn’t care. Much. Not really, anyway. And he loved that Albus wanted to make their first time special… but Scorpius was eager to move beyond kissing and the odd spot of frotting or an occasional handjob. Each precious moment of Albus's hand on his dick was burned into his memory and replayed over and over when he was alone (and occasionally when he wasn't, to his intense embarrassment). The little sounds Albus would make as Scorpius ground against him, desperate to stay quiet but unable to muffle himself completely, would echo in his head for days.

Now, though. Now it seemed like things might actually be happening and it was all he could do to stop himself leaping out of the water and manhandling Albus into the hot tub.

“Anytime this evening would be good, Albus,” Scorpius said, when Albus seemed unwilling to move any closer. “I’m not going to bite.”

Albus dragged his eyes from Scorpius’s chest and smirked; the sight sent a wave of desire through Scorpius. “Shame,” he muttered.

A gasp tore itself from Scorpius’s throat as Albus prowled—and there really was no better word for it—to the edge of the hot tub and sunk into the water because where had that sudden burst of confidence come from?

Scorpius smiled at him. “Hi.” He smothered an unintended a giggle with a wet hand. Merlin, was he five? Why was he so nervous?

“Hi.”

They were sat side-by-side, but the distance, small though it was, felt too great. Scorpius wasn’t sure what was going to happen, or what he even wanted to happen, but he knew he wanted them to be closer, so he shuffled along the ledge until his leg and arm brushed up against Albus’s. He watched carefully for any flinch that might indicate Albus was about to flee, but he held himself perfectly still.

Scorpius watched the bubbles break the surface of the water, watched the steam dancing over the surface and coming off his flushed arms. It was hot, but not uncomfortably so. He thought perhaps he should try relaxing, but his body wouldn’t comply. He couldn’t focus on anything except the feeling of Albus against his skin. He’d never been so close to someone when wet—not since he’d been old enough to bath himself. It was a strange feeling, but good strange. Wet. Kind of slippery. Hot, very hot. He was scared to move in case Albus thought he was trying it on and he knew they should probably talk about expectations and what have you, but he couldn’t think of any way to bring it up. Are we expected to touch each other’s cocks? felt a little blunt, and Scorpius thought a more natural progression into certain activities would be preferable, but how did one encourage such thing to progress?

“Well, this is nice,” Scorpius said without looking around. “Very… wet.” He swished his hand through the water.

“Yeah. Wet,” Albus agreed. “And warm.”

“Indeed.” Scorpius puffed his cheeks out and exhaled. He desperately wanted Albus to do something. Was it too much to ask for a clear, unambiguous sign that yes, Albus was interested in more than just having a soak beside his boyfriend? He was never this uncertain when they were in his bed back at Hogwarts (it was the furthest from their dorm mates, so much more preferable for any sort of stealth frotting), but the wetness and the nakedness had stripped away the small amount of self-confidence he’d possessed.

“I really want to kiss you. Can I kiss you? Is that okay?” Albus asked.

And there is was. A sign! Well, more of an announcement. A direct statement of intent. It was exactly what he’d been waiting for, all these achingly tense minutes, slowly boiling alive, extremities turning shrivelled and prune-like—

“Scorp?”

“Oh! Yes. One hundred percent yes. You need never ask—I’ll always want to kiss you, Al. Even if you’d spent the afternoon snacking on onions. Even if—mmph!” Scorpius suddenly found himself with a lap full of Albus, the press of lips stifling whatever he’d been about to say next. What had he been about to say? He didn’t care. Nothing mattered. He had Albus on his lap, Albus’s lips on his, Albus’s… Well, if any other sign were needed, here it was. He pulled back from the kiss. Smirked. “Hello, there.”

Albus snorted and dropped his head to Scorpius’s shoulder. “Oh, give over Scorp. You really don’t have to say hi every time my dick makes an appearance.”

“It’s only polite, Albus. Besides, I want the little chap to feel welcome.” He ran his hands along Albus’s thighs underneath the water, delighting in the feel of the coarse hairs bristling under his fingers.

Albus’s body was firm and solid above him, his erection nudging against his stomach as he shifted his weight, a teasing brush against his own. A hot breath caressed Scorpius’s neck, a catch of teeth on skin, and he shivered, buried his face in thick black hair, breathing in cherry shampoo and woodsmoke and Albus. Scorpius slid his hands up further, his fingers catching on the edges of Albus’s boxers. A moment’s indecision, then he slipped his hands beneath the material as far as it would allow. He felt the curve as leg became arse and groaned as Albus pressed closer, the teasing pressure on his erection increasing as it strained against his sodden pants, trapped between them.

Scorpius ground up, pulling Albus in closer, nosed at his cheek until he turned and Scorpius could claim his lips again. A water jet bubbled just beneath him, tickling the backs of his thighs distractingly, and he widened his legs, delighting as the bubbles grazed the sensitive skin behind his balls. He groaned, guttural, urgent, Albus’s name in his throat, in his head, filling every thought, surrounding him, crowding him against the hot tub. He’d never felt so thoroughly engulfed by anyone. Nothing they’d done so far even compared. It was wonderful, just the feel of Albus’s hot skin beneath his fingertips, nothing between them but the flimsy cloth of their underpants.

The water churned and bubbled around them, the air thick with lavender-scented steam, their slick bodies writhing, sliding against each other. Scorpius wished they were naked, wanted to feel all of Albus against him, but that would mean Albus leaving his lap and he definitely didn’t want that. Next time, maybe. He’d suggest it when they weren’t so preoccupied. Albus pulled back slightly, studying Scorpius’s face. His lips were dark pink and swollen, his eyes glimmering in the light from the bedroom.

“Can I—?” He pushed a hand between them, brushed his knuckles against Scorpius’s length, tugged at the waistband of his pants.

Scorpius whimpered. Nodded frantically. “Oh, gods yes. Merlin, Albus, please, just… I… I need…” He freed his hands from Albus’s pants and ran them up his back to grip onto his shoulders as Albus’s fingers curled around his dick. He thrust up, rough and urgent, into the circle of Albus’s fist, his body arched, seeking more contact, needing something to take the teasing edge off their movements, his nails digging into Albus’s soft skin. Merlin, but how he never wanted this moment to end. He felt like every nerve ending was alight with pleasure.

But then Albus stilled, his body rigid. A noise like a strangled Kneazle falling from his lips. Scorpius juddered to a halt, chest heaving, dick painfully hard in Albus’s motionless hand. He frowned, his thoughts sluggish and muddled because that wasn’t Albus’s usual orgasm noise. And he didn’t have that boneless, sated look about him; he wasn’t staring blissfully at Scorpius with a giddy, half-drunk grin on his face. In fact, he looked like he’d forgotten that Scorpius was there, even as his hand was curled limply around him. No, his attention was completely focused on something behind Scorpius and his kiss-swollen lips were hanging open, a look of abject horror in his eyes. What on earth was going on?

Oh fuck.

Time froze. Scorpius knew.

Merlin’s fucking arse titting balls.

He turned, bile rising in his throat because oh no oh no oh no this could not be happening.

His dad and Mr Potter were standing in the middle of the bedroom, staring at them with twin looks of horror.

“What the ever-loving FUCK is going on?! OUR HOT TUB!”

“Are they— No. No no no. Please, tell me this isn’t what it looks like. Please. Scorpius!?”

“Dad!” Scorpius squeaked. He made to stand up, but at the last minute recalled his current state of attire, remembered that his pants were hooked beneath his rapidly softening dick, and hurriedly sunk back into the water. Albus was thrown off his lap by the motion and fell backwards into the water, spluttering, trying to cover himself up and not drown at the same time.

Mr Potter covered his face with his hands, whereas Scorpius’s dad stared furiously at the ceiling, his pale cheeks blotchy and reddened.

“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, you get out of that hot tub this instant,” his dad snapped without taking his eyes off the ceiling.

“You too, Albus,” Mr Potter added. “You’d better have a bloody good explanation for this.”

“I… I’d really rather not get out, if it’s all the same to you. Not right now, anyway,” Scorpius said. He wished he knew where his wand had ended up, because then he could Apparate somewhere far away and live out the rest of his life as a sex-less hermit. He could see Albus’s wand, glowing and vibrating under the pile of Albus’s clothes. So much for a proximity charm.

“You said you’d be out all evening!” Albus protested, saving Scorpius the indignity of having to explain that he’d rather not flash Mr Potter his cock.

“And you took that to mean you could—” Mr Potter shook his head. “No, I can’t say it. Just… put some bloody clothes on, the pair of you!”

“Hey, what’s going on?” James asked, bursting into the room with everyone else trailing behind. It would have been funny, the way their faces simultaneously passed through the same stages of curiosity, confusion, realisation, and then finally, amusement, if Scorpius hadn’t been experiencing a slow, painful death through mortification. He hid his face in his hands and willed the world to stop. He’d never be able to smell lavender again without reliving this horrific night.

“Explains why they were so keen to share a room, at least,” Lily said.

“Oh my god! Right, everyone who is not currently naked, out!” Mr Potter pointed to the door and they reluctantly shuffled back out into the hall, sniggering and, in one case, wolf-whistling.

“Right. You two. How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you say anything? If I’d known— Oh my god— You deliberately deceived me so I’d let you share a room!”

“It’s not always about you, Dad,” Albus grumbled. “Just because we don’t publish our private life in the Prophet.” Scorpius winced. Now was not the time to be antagonising their parents.

“That’s enough! Right, Albus, you’re sharing with me from now on, Scorpius, you’re with Draco.”

“What? That’s so unfair!”

“Harry, let’s not be too hasty.” Scorpius pried his fingers from his eyes and gaped at his dad. Was he really coming to their defence? “I’m sure the embarrassment of being caught in flagrante delicto by their fathers is punishment enough, don’t you think? I doubt they’ll be doing anything inappropriate again, isn’t that right boys?”

Scorpius nodded his head. “Yes, definitely. Consider the lesson well and truly learnt. Wizard scouts honour!” He kicked Albus under the water and Abus hastily nodded his agreement too.

“They’re teenage boys! Of course they’re going to do something inappropriate. Don’t you remember what it was like?”

A look of revulsion flashed across Albus’s face but thankfully he held his tongue.

“Yes,” Scorpius’s dad hissed. “But I think we can trust them.”

Scorpius frowned. There was an odd tone to his dad’s voice, like he was trying to convey meaning beyond the words. Scorpius’s gaze flicked between his dad and Mr Potter, who appeared to be having a whole conversation with just a few quirked eyebrows and head tilts. Scorpius held his breath, awaiting their fate.

“Fine,” Mr Potter muttered, and three sets of shoulders loosened. “I suppose I have no option but to trust you both to behave yourselves. But—” He jabbed a stern finger at Albus, then Scorpius, “—there will be random inspections, so don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your dads to walk in on. Again. And this hot tub—no, this entire room—is off-limits, okay?”

“Thank you, Mr Potter! I assure you, there will be no more incidents. We’ll even leave our bedroom door open. You’re free to wander in whenever you please, stay for a chat or—”

“Scorp!” Albus yelped.

“Just— Just get dressed and go downstairs. I need to lie down,” Mr Potter said, exhaling dramatically and dragging a hand through his hair.

Scorpius smiled faintly at his dad, who just shook his head fondly, his lips pursed together as if suppressing a smile. He withdrew into the bedroom with Mr Potter and they drew the curtains to the balcony, giving Scorpius and Albus the privacy to get dressed.

“Well, that was bracing,” Scorpius muttered as he cast a drying charm on his pants.

He looked up at Albus, who was struggling into his jeans with damp legs, and as he caught his eye, he was overtaken by a fit of giggles. After a brief moment, Albus joined him, laughing until they were both breathless, tears streaming down their cheeks.

“Oh god,” Albus moaned once he’d recovered. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life. Kill me now.”

“Merlin, I know. I thought I was actually going to spontaneously combust.” Scorpius laughed again. There was really nothing else he could do. He’d never be able to look his father or Mr Potter in the eye again. Or any of Albus’s family for that matter. Merlin’s tits. What had they done? “At least this resolves the issue of coming out to them.”

“I would have rather lived the rest of my life hiding this than have our dads walk in on us. Fuck.”

“It wasn’t exactly ideal, was it?”

“All things considered, I can think of literally thousands of ways we could have told them better. Ways that didn’t involve my naked arse.”

Scorpius snorted. “It was fun though, right?” he asked a little uncertainly. “Up until we were interrupted, I mean.”

Albus looked at him, his green eyes soft, fond. “Yeah, it was fun. We should definitely do it again sometime.”

“Oh, for sure.” Scorpius reached out and gently poked the dimple in Albus’s cheek. “Maybe not anywhere with an audience next time, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Albus grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers, then brought Scorpius’s hand to his mouth, brushing a kiss across his knuckles. “Come on, we should go before my dad gets twitchy and comes to check we’re not fucking against the window or something.”

“Perish the thought!”

Yes, it wasn’t ideal. And yes, he was quite sure he’d never live down the embarrassment, but as he followed Albus out of their dads’ room, head ducked to avoid meeting anyone’s eye, Scorpius realised he felt lighter, like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Their secret was out—they no longer had to hide what they meant to each other—and he couldn’t wait to move on with this new phase in their relationship.

*

“What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Scorpius looked up from the tray of pastries he was assembling in the kitchen (with Lorenzo’s help) to find Albus watching him from across the breakfast bar. He was still in his pyjamas—soft, plaid trousers that were almost worn through at the knees and stopped just above his ankles, and an oversized Slytherin t-shirt that hung off one shoulder—and his hair was sticking out in all directions. Albus rubbed his eyes and yawned widely, looking so deliciously soft and sleepy that Scorpius wanted to stop what he was doing and bury himself in his arms. And the wonderful thing was, he could if he wanted, now they were not-so-secret boyfriends. He smiled to himself, warmth filling his body, spreading out from his chest to the tips of his fingers and toes. But he mustn’t let himself get distracted. He had a plan. A very important plan that would go a long way to fixing everything.

“Scorp?” Albus plonked sleepily onto a stool.

“Oh! Well, I was thinking, last night, after all the, um, kerfuffle with the hot tub. We need to make it up to our fathers, because no matter how horrifying it was for us, it must have been ten times worse for them, right?”

“Uh, no? How was it worse for them? I pretty much flashed my knob at my boyfriend’s dad! He’s seen my… my sex face.” Albus hid his face in his hands and groaned.

Scorpius tried to stop the grin before it spread across his face, tried to stop the giggle bubbling out of his mouth, but it was useless.

“What?” Albus asked, looking up at the sound of Scorpius’s smothered giggle.

“Sorry! I just love it when you call me your boyfriend. Isn’t it great we don’t have to hide it anymore?”

Albus scowled, but then the corner of his mouth ticked up, the dimples made a reluctant appearance, and a beautiful flushed tinted his cheeks. He shrugged. “It’s okay, I suppose. Are you going to tell me why we’re up at the arse crack of dawn instead of together in my bed?”

Now it was Scorpius’s turn to blush, the implication of just what they could be doing in bed together right now hanging heavily between them. They both knew there was no way either of their dads would risk bursting in on them now without sufficient warning, despite what Mr Potter had threatened last night…

“Stop distracting me, you beast!” Scorpius tore off the end of a croissant he’d been nibbling and threw it at Albus. “So, anyway, I thought we could bring our dads breakfast in bed to show that we’re responsible young adults and that we’re sorry for what happened.”

“You really think that’ll work?”

“No idea, but it’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

Albus shrugged and snatched a cinnamon whirl from the tray. “If you say so.”

With the tray laden with pastries, a cafetiere, and two mugs, they trudged up the stairs towards the master bedroom. Scorpius opted to carry the tray rather than risk levitating it—his magic always went a bit flaky when he was nervous and he didn’t want to levitate the tray into a wall or have it go crashing to the ground if the spell failed. He kept his ears pricked for sounds of movement from anyone else in the chalet, but it was deathly quiet. Peaceful. He reminded himself that it was still early, though. He’d still be asleep himself if he’d been able to silence his mind for more than a few minutes at a time. Hopefully, his dad and Mr Potter would appreciate the gesture of breakfast in bed. He couldn’t bear the thought that his dad might be disappointed in him, and he definitely didn’t want Mr Potter’s lasting impression to be an image of Scorpius defiling his son. Sweet Circe, no. Damage control, that’s what was required.

Heart in his throat, sweaty palms clasped around the edges of the tray, Scorpius glanced over his shoulder for reassurance from Albus.

“You need me to knock?” Albus whispered, one hand gently rested on Scorpius’s lower back.

Scorpius looked at the door, then at the tray in his hands, then back at Albus, smiling shyly. “Would you? Only my hands are a little busy.”

Albus stretched passed him and gave the door three short, sharp raps.

Nothing.

Scorpius frowned and leant in towards the door, getting his ear as close as possible to the knotted wooden surface without upsetting the contents of the tray.

“They’re probably asleep. We should come back later or just leave the tray here,” Albus suggested.

“Father always gets up at six am—he must be awake,” Scorpius insisted.

“I dunno, then. Maybe he’s in the shower?”

“I can’t hear anything, though. If he was showering, we’d hear the hot water.” Scorpius paused, his mind frantically cycling through all possible reasons for the lack of response. “What if something terrible has happened? Oh, Merlin, something must have happened. What should we do?”

Albus rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Scorp. He’s probably just taking a dump. I don’t know. Can we please go back to bed now?”

“In a sec. Could you just try the handle? Please…?”

“Scorp, I’m not breaking into my dad’s room again. He’s probably still mad from last night! We should give it at least a few days before deliberately pissing him off.”

“It’s not breaking in if the door is unlocked. What if something’s wrong? It’s too quiet. Just… just try the handle and if it’s open, we take a peek inside. If not… then I suppose we can go away and come back in… five minutes.”

“Fifteen minutes, at least. And fine.” Albus rolled his eyes and wrapped his hand around the door handle. He gave it a little twist, left, right. Left, right, and there was a barely audible click.

Scorpius beamed at Albus. He opened his mouth to say something along the lines of I told you so, but at that moment, Albus pushed the door open and whatever charm that had been trapping the noise inside the room broke.

The smile froze on Scorpius’s face as first his ears were assaulted by the rhythmic thud of a heavy wooden bed frame bashing into a wooden wall, and then his eyes… Dear sweet Merlin, his eyes. His dad and Mr Potter were both very naked, very entangled, and very… busy. There was absolutely no mistaking what was going on, but even so, Scorpius was vaguely aware of his mouth moving and the words “What in Hades is happening?” spilling out.

“What the fuck, Dad!” Albus yelled.

“Shit, boys— what… What are you doing here?” Mr Potter cried, grabbing a pillow and holding in front of his groin, then shoving another at Scorpius’s dad.

There was a crash, broken china and glass skittering across the floor, a puddle of black coffee spreading wider, soaking into the pastries and the artfully placed fur rugs. All eyes turned to Scorpius and for a split second he wondered why, until he felt the hot coffee seeping into his socks and realised he’d dropped the breakfast tray to the floor. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” he muttered, over and over until he felt someone tugging at his arm. Albus. Sweet, beautiful Albus. He let his boyfriend drag him down the stairs, not even pausing to shut the door in their haste.

“At least we’re even now,” Albus said after throwing himself onto the lower bunk in their room. He huffed out a laugh and scrubbed his hands over his face.

“There is that, I suppose,” Scorpius replied weakly. He had no idea what to do with himself—too antsy to lie next to Albus or sit down—so he paced the room, pillow hugged to his chest as he rubbed his fingers over his lips. Merlin, but he’d never be able to shift the image of his dad and Mr Potter, naked. No one, not a soul, should have to see their boyfriend’s dad doing what he just witnessed Mr Potter doing to his dad. His dad and Mr Potter! How long…? Suddenly, the random invitation for a ski holiday made a lot more sense. Had it all been an act? The awkwardness, the sitting at opposite ends of a table, the bickering…

“Hey, did you know your dad has a tattoo of a snitch on his arse?” Albus asked.

“I…what? No! Why on earth were you looking at my dad’s arse?”

“It was that or look at my dad’s arse. Ew, no thanks. Besides, your dad’s not too bad looking for an old guy.”

“Albus! Please.” Scorpius groaned and smothered his face with the pillow. “How about we just agree to never speak of this, or last night, again.”

“Fine with me.”

Scorpius chuckled, a short frantic burst of laughter that turned into another pained groan. He supposed he ought to get used to weird things like this happening; he was dating a Potter after all. As was his father, apparently.

*

LILY LUNA

Lily sat at the counter and watched her family and the Malfoys graze on the spread Lorenzo had provided for breakfast. They were all up later than usual thanks to the excitement last night, not that she was complaining. She’d known there was something going on between Albus and Scorpius for ages—those two were about as subtle as an Erumpent tip-toeing through Madam Puddifoots—so it wasn’t too surprising that they were caught doing naked stuff in her dad’s hot tub. What was surprising, though, was the gossip she’d gleaned from James just that morning. She had no idea how he’d found out, and hadn’t believed it for a second, until she’d come down for breakfast and found Al and Scorpius at one end of the table, and her dad and Draco at the other, everyone studiously avoiding looking at everyone else, awkwardness radiating off them in waves. It was hilarious. She looked down at the blank postcard and grabbed a pen from the pot beside her.

Hi Mum,

Do you remember how you said it wouldn’t be a dull trip with Dad and Mr Malfoy? Well, you’ll never believe what’s happened—and you’d better make sure you’re sitting down for this—but…

END

Notes:

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