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If I Can't Have You

Chapter Text

Katsuki stepped into the club wearing a tight, red tank top and black, ripped jeans, his eyeliner on point and hair as tousled and spiky as always. It was a get-up he’d waited a long time to wear on assignment, so to say he felt killer was right in more ways than one.

He took a seat at the bar and surveyed the scene, keeping an eye out for his target. Unlike most of the old perverts Katsuki seduced, for once he’d been assigned to a young guy: Izuku Midoriya, 23, and if the photos were right, he was a cutie too. It almost made it a shame that by the end of the night Katsuki was going to be slipping poison past those cute, pink lips, but he was pretty numb to that part of the job by this point. At least, he reasoned, he didn’t didn’t have to play up the feminine, helpless little boy act that got the older targets all excited. No, intel said this guy was more into masculine men, so he was actually thankful that the guy was, escentially, giving him a break.

Eventually, Katsuki spotted him in a booth with some friends, messy green curls and a face full of freckles just like the headshot. He stared at the guy for a long time, trying to size him up all while making it look like he was checking him out (not that he wasn’t, the guy was cute, but his job comes first). Izuku was wearing a printed tee and drinking water while the rest of his friends sipped on cocktails and beers. Katsuki cursed under his breath at that realisation – it was always easier when they were drunk – but didn’t let his disappointment show. Eventually, one of the guy’s friends noticed him staring, a brunette woman, and elbowed Izuku, pointing in Katsuki’s direction with a smirk on her face.

Izuku turned with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, but met Katsuki’s gaze. Katsuki raised his eyebrows at him, tilting his head back, and then let his eyes wander down and back up. Izuku got even redder and looked away.

“I told you he was checking you out!” he heard the woman say over the clamor of the bar. Suddenly all the friends were stealing glances at him, laughing and trying to give Izuku encouragement to go over and talk to him. The guy kept staring down at the table, his ears red too, and Katsuki began to wonder if it wasn’t going to work, that maybe he’d need to walk over there himself (something he never liked to do, as it would give the friends more to say about him to the police) but eventually Izuku took a deep breath and stood up, his friends all cheering.

Katsuki whistled. He couldn’t see when the guy was sitting down, but he was wearing some tight-ass jeans that almost made the ridiculousness of his printed tee and bright red sneakers forgettable. Almost. He was still a nerd.

“Um. Hi,” Izuku said when he got close to him. “Would you like… I mean, can I… would it be alright if I bought you… fuck! Can I buy you a drink?” he finally stuttered out.

Katsuki chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re cute,” he said.

Izuku froze. He still hadn’t looked him in the eye since coming over.

“Sure. I could go for a beer,” Katsuki nodded, and Izuku released a breath he must have been holding. The poor guy; he must not have much experience. The thought passed in Katsuki’s mind that maybe, just maybe, he was still a virgin, but he pushed it out of his consciousness.

“Um. Two beers, please,” Izuku said to the bartender, taking a seat next to Katsuki.

“So you do drink,” Katsuki said.

“Uh, yeah, sometimes,” Izuku shrugged.

“Especially if there’s a hot guy involved?” Katsuki asked. In his experience, it paid to be cocky.

Izuku laughed, but his shoulders tensed up a bit. Katsuki took note of it.

“So,” Katsuki started when they finally got their drinks. “You and your friends here for any particular reason? I’m not crashing a birthday party, am I?”

“Oh, no,” Izuku shook his head, but finally looked up at Katsuki. “We just needed a break from work, you know? We all have office jobs. Mostly boring ones, too. So they go out the first Friday of every month, and, well, drag me along about half the time.”

“Huh,” Katsuki nodded.

“Aw, shit. That makes me sound pretty pathetic, huh?” Izuku said, holding the beer glass like it was the only thing keeping him stable as he shrunk in on himself.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure half the people here would say the same thing,” Katsuki said, putting a hand on Izuku’s neck and rubbing gently.

“So… why’d you pick me?” he asked.

Katsuki smirked.

“You looked like you could use some company,” he said, and then allowed his eyes to drift over Izuku’s body again. “And you’re just my type.”

Izuku practically gasped, his whole body shivering as he looked up at Katsuki, and Katsuki couldn’t decide if it was the cutest thing or the hottest thing he’d ever seen, but either way he wasn’t going to wait any longer; he leaned in and stole a kiss.

“Oh, wow,” Izuku said, seemingly involuntarily, when their lips parted, and Katsuki knew he’d bagged the kill.

Izuku’s chest shivered under his hand as it slid up his shirt, the other grasping at the hair behind his head, but not pulling too hard. In the course of a few hours, he’d learned just about everything that made Izuku tick; he liked Katsuki cocky, even a little mean, but ultimately knowing that Katsuki wanted him, that Katsuki thought he was fucking perfect, made him literally melt; he liked Katsuki’s bad boy get up, but he didn’t like it when he was rough, he wanted him to be gentle, almost verging on torturous; he liked that Katsuki took the lead, but it wasn’t so much that he got off on being persued, just that he was too nervous to do the persuing himself.

So after two beers and some dancing, after his friends had basically abandoned him to the whims of the handsome stranger, Katsuki led him to the bathroom for a little privacy and pushed him up against the cold tile wall for a handsy make-out session. The goal, of course, was to get Izuku to say those magic words – Can I take you home? – but if he didn’t, Katsuki felt pretty confident that he’d say yes if he asked the reciprocal question.

“Hah,” Izuku breathed out a half-moan as Katsuki squeezed his waist and mouthed at his neck, his movements practised, calibrated to ensure his prey was falling into the trap. Izuku’s arms hung over Katsuki’s broad shoulders, fingers tangling in the fabric of his tank-top and slowly pulling it up, mostly by accident, and Katsuki couldn’t help admitting to himself that this was the most fun he’d ever had on an assignment. They hadn’t even gotten to the good part yet, but hell if he wasn’t tired of letting men twice his age grope him in dirty bathroom stalls. Sure, they were still in a nasty-ass bathroom, but at least this guy was within a year of his age and liked it when Katsuki was, you know, himself.

“W-wait,” Izuku suddenly whispered, hands coming down to press against Katsuki’s chest.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling his face away just an inch or two.

“I don’t even know your name,” he said.

“Kat–” he started then paused. Shit. They didn’t usually ask that, and when they did, he certainly didn’t answer with his own name. “Katsuo,” he said, wincing internally at how similar it was to real name.

“Katsu…” Izuku trailed off, running a hand down one of Katsuki’s cheeks. “Can I call you Kacchan?”

Katsuki chuckled.

“Sure. Now, what do I call you?” he said, nosing and nipping gently at Izuku’s neck again. Izuku practically squirmed in his grasp, an involuntary whine in his throat.

“Izu… zuku…” he stuttered out.

“Izuzuku?” Katsuki question before sucking at the sensitive junction between throat and shoulder.

“Ah! No, you… I can’t even… t-talk,” he said.

“You’ve got it so bad for me that you can’t even say you’re own name?” Katsuki asked, whispering in Izuku’s ear. He knew the alcohol was playing a part, too, but Izuku liked being teased.

“It’s Izu… it’s… I…” he trailed off, his voice suddenly sounding strained.

“Huh?” Katsuki pulled back, trying to get a look at his face, but suddenly Izuku’s grip on his shoulders was so tight, the guy’s face crashed into Katsuki’s chest.

“I don’t wanna lose my virginity to a stranger!” Izuku shouted, and between the wetness on his shirt and the quality of his voice, he was sure now that Izuku was crying.

Maybe he’d gotten him more drunk than he thought.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Katsuki said, trying to sound comforting as he peeled Izuku’s tear-stained face off of his chest. “It’s okay. We don’t have to…” he started, and then realized with a start that if they didn’t, it was game over. Katsuki wouldn’t get the job done.

“I’m sorry,” Izuku shook his head, hands covering his face as he stepped out of Katsuki’s grasp. “I ruined it, didn’t I? Eveything was going so good and then I opened my stupid mouth and…” his words devolved into sobbing.

“No, no, no,” Katsuki shook his head, reaching out to smooth his hands over Izuku’s shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m not, fuck, I’m not the kinda guy that expects everything after one kiss. But I… I like you. I mean, shit, man. We have chemistry. So if you need me to, you know, take you out to dinner first and all that, I’m down. I’m so, so down…”

Izuku peeked up through his hands, those big green eyes shining, and asked, “R-really?”

And in that moment, Katsuki felt his resolve snap.

“Yeah,” he nodded, reaching out to wipe the tears from under Izuku’s eyes with his thumbs, the tips of his fingers brushing those messy green curls. “Believe me. You I can wait for,” he said and leaned down to press a soft kiss against Izuku’s lips.

And then he started crying again.

“I like you too…” he said, smiling shakily up at him. “I like you a lot, I… can I give you my number? Can we… can this not be the last time I see you? Please?”

“What the fuck did you think I meant by take you out to dinner?” Katsuki asked, taking his phone out of his back pocket and letting Izuku put his number in. Everything happened so quickly, then: getting Izuku calmed down, kissing some more, getting ready to leave, kissing again, saying goodbye, running across the parking lot to kiss one more time, and then finally, finally, Katsuki was sitting alone in the driver’s seat of the company car with the engine off.

“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he punched the passenger’s seat, a wave of shame and anger washing over him.

Not only had he failed, he’d done the worst thing imaginable.

He caught feelings.

 

 

Chapter Text

Katsuki stared at his phone, not sure if he wanted to believe what was there. An hour ago, Izuku had agreed over text to go out to dinner with him. It was Saturday, one day after his failed mission in the club. He’d put in for an extension on the mission, which, due to the nature of many of his colleagues methods, meant it gave him an extra week, but his boss was sure to notice. Katsuki never asked for extensions. His ruse was elaborate enough that it never failed.

Still, he was excited to see Izuku again. He’d already made up his mind that he wasn’t going to kill him that night, as it was unlikely that anything too frisky was going to happen on their first date (and he was sticking to his usual method of waiting to get into his bed before delivering the kill), so he reasoned that he could treat it like a normal date.

Sure, he was going to have to kill him by the end of the week, but that was a week away, and therefore, not worth thinking about, right?

How he wished he was really convincing himself.

Sighing, he rolled off the bed and started to get ready. It was only four and they agreed to meet at six thirty, but Katsuki didn’t exactly have anything else to do, so he took his time in the shower, did his hair and makeup, and practically spent an hour picking out his clothes.

He’d never had so much trouble picking out clothes.

Usually, it only came down to two factors: what sort of event was he crashing, and how sexy could he make himself look. But for the first time, he didn’t want to look sexy. He wanted to look… nice. Whatever the fuck that meant.

He bit his lip, reviewing his options one last time, and finally settled on a white shirt, jean jacket, crisp black jeans, and white sneakers. Izuku said it was casual dining, so he didn’t want to over dress, but he hoped he looked respectable.

He checked the time before heading downstairs to get his wallet and keys. The company he worked for provided him with a new car every few weeks to keep police off his trail, but the condo was of his own choosing. A tall, narrow building with a kitchen and living room on the first floor, bedroom and bath upstairs, and a home gym in the basement. His style was simple and slick, and with the money he made from his less-than-typical line of work, he kept his place looking like a modern art museum, just the way he liked it.

Today, however, it felt sort of empty. He stared at the white couch in his living room and wondered when was the last time someone had actually sat on it.

Shaking his head, he locked up and hopped into his car. He had to be at Izuku’s in half an hour to pick him up, and while his phone said it was only going to take twenty minutes, he was too antsy to wait any longer.

Izuku had a beautiful laugh. Katsuki noticed this almost immediately, sitting in the booth across from the man, watching his eyes scrunch up and hand half-cover his mouth as he giggled like a little kid at something stupid Katsuki had said.

His fashion sense continued to be confounding, as the green button down and dark wash jeans looked good, but then there were those stupid red shoes again, and Katsuki didn’t honestly know whether he loved them or hated them. Sitting at a restaurant as they were, though, he didn’t have to look at them. Instead, all the focus was on Izuku’s face, and fuck if Katsuki wasn’t focused intently on it. Between those long eyelashes, adorable freckles, and big emerald eyes, he swore he could have stared at it the whole night without getting bored.

“So what do you do? I mean, like, for a living? Boring office job or…?” Izuku asked, still mincing his words, but not nearly so bad as the previous night.

Katsuki sucked in a breath. He hadn’t thought about how to answer that.

“Um. I’m a… personal trainer,” he finally said, satisfied with the lie. He did have a home gym (though that was just to keep himself in shape, as his body was the main lure of his ruse) so he figured it would seem legit enough.

“Oh, wow! You must be really fit then, huh?” Izuku asked, the faintest bit of pink appearing on his cheeks.

“Yeah,” Katsuki shrugged. “Though I mostly focus on the upper body, you know, weightlifting and core strengthening.”

“Mm,” Izuku nodded. “I don’t really go to the gym, admittedly, but I run often! And I’ll do some core workouts at home, you know, so I don’t look like a complete twig.”

Katsuki nodded. He had noticed the guy’s legs were a bit bulkier than his arms, so that made sense.

“Well, you know, whatever works,” he shrugged. “It’s not like I think everyone has to be a muscled god, or something. But it’s good that you stay in shape.”

Izuku smiled.

“What about you, anyway? You said you had an office job or something?” Katsuki asked.

“Ah, yeah,” Izuku nodded. “I’m a data analyst. I basically just use programs to crunch numbers so companies can see how effective their advertising is. It’s not… I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m passionate about it, but it pays well.”

“That’s kinda good, though. It means you can just forget about it when you go home, and do something you are passionate about with your free time,” Katsuki said.

Izuku raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, like… I’m passionate about my job, but that means it basically consumes my whole life. Sometimes I think it’d be nice to do something that I care less about, so when I get home I can just do a good workout and forget about it.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” Izuku shrugged, then looked like he was thinking. “Hm. I just… I don’t have much that I’m passionate about, I suppose. Besides maybe like… playing video games,” he chuckled to himself.

“Well. Maybe you just have to find that thing,” Katsuki said, staring at him with his head in his hand.

Izuku nodded, and the conversation drifted elsewhere, but Katsuki kept coming back to that idea. Maybe he’d found his thing. And maybe that thing was a person.

And maybe he was crazy, because he’d only known him for two days.

It was dark when they drove back up to Izuku’s apartment building, Katsuki parking the car on the street but neither of them reaching for the doors.

“Um,” Izuku said, clutching nervously at his seat belt. “I had, uh, a really good time tonight, Kacchan.”

“Yeah?” Katsuki said, reaching across to brush one of Izuku’s curls behind his ear.

“Mm,” Izuku looked up at him, and Katsuki felt his heart literally skip a beat looking into those eyes again. “You’re really nice. I… I like talking to you, and being with you…”

Katsuki slowly leaned over as Izuku trailed off, watching Izuku’s eyes flutter shut prettily, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“But you also like kissing me, huh?” he asked, because he knew Izuku was unlikely to say it himself.

He nodded, eyes still squeezed shut, then blinked them open when he heard Katsuki getting out of the car.

“W-what?” he asked, undoing his own seatbelt and reaching for the door.

“It’s too hard to kiss you in there,” Katsuki said, walking around to the other side of the car just as Izuku exited.

“You want to–” Izuku started, but was cut off when Katsuki picked him up and pushed him down onto the hood of the car, standing between his legs and looming over him with his hands on Izuku’s hips.

“Oh,” Izuku said, voice breathy and eyes wide, and then Katsuki was kissing him again. Hot and heavy, his tongue confidently exploring Izuku’s mouth as his hands ran up his sides under Izuku’s button-down shirt, but even though it was just as intense as their make-out at the bar, it was so much more real this time. Not only were they sober, but the crisp night air surrounded them, drawing them closer together for warmth: theirs chests pressed together, Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s back and legs around his waist. It was five minutes of pure bliss, pure passion, but eventually they had to stop.

Katsuki lifted his mouth off of Izuku to look down at that pretty face, mostly obscured by darkness now, but lit almost dramatically by the orange streetlight, and watched as the cloudiness slowly disappeared from his eyes, blinking himself back into reality.

“Uh,” Izuku said, as if he didn’t know any other words.

“We can stop, if you want,” Katsuki said.

Izuku nodded slowly.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“Mm,” Katsuki nodded, pressing a kiss to Izuku’s cheek. “Fine with me.”

“Okay. I guess, um… I guess I’ll see you some other time?” Izuku looked up at him hopefully.

Katsuki smirked, picking Izuku up by the waist and spinning him around before setting him down on the sidewalk, holding him so he was pressed closely to his chest.

“You’d see me every damn day if I had it my way,” Katsuki said, stealing one last, long kiss.

“Mmm…” Izuku hummed, nodding at him with soft eyes.

“Alright. Well,” Katsuki released him, and Izuku took a moment to remember what he was doing then turned towards his apartment building.

“Right. Uh, goodnight!” he said, waving to Katsuki as he jogged up to the steps.

“Goodnight, nerd!” Katsuki yelled back at him, and though he couldn’t see it, he knew Izuku was flushed red at that little nickname.

Katsuki sighed when he couldn’t see Izuku anymore, his form no longer partially visible through the building’s glass doors, and got back in his car. He didn’t start it right away though, looking up at the building instead, and suddenly wondering at the normalcy of it. Izuku was so normal it didn’t make sense. What was a guy with a normal life, a normal job, and a normal apartment doing with a death warrant over his head? It didn’t sit well with him.

Driving away, Katsuki made a new resolution. He needed to find out who wanted him dead and why, because Katsuki was going to have issues, to put it lightly, with whoever the fuck that was.

 

 

Chapter Text

Katsuki’s boss didn’t say anything of the extension, but he did give him a second assignment for the week that was so ridiculous he couldn’t believe it was anything other than Karma. The only saving grace was that it wasn’t a solo assignment: he got to work with his old mentor, Midnight.

The woman pulled up a slick, silver company car to pick him up on Wednesday evening, and he clacked down the stairs of his condoe in heels to greet her.

“A bit embarrassed, are we?” she asked through the rolled down window, looking at him over the brim of her sunglasses.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. He was wearing a jacket over the bunny costume because it was cold, not because he had any shame.

“Shut up,” he said, rolling his eyes as he climbed into the passenger’s seat.

Midnight laughed, but started the car and headed towards the playboy themed big-business banquet they were crashing. They each had a target, one who was known for being into dominatrixes (Midnight’s target) and one who had a thing for ‘young men’ (Katsuki’s target). He had to admit, the one thing he couldn’t stomach sometimes was the thought that some of these guys would be even more into him if he were underage, but hey, that made killing them easier.

He wondered for a moment if that was why he couldn’t kill Izuku – because he actually respected him as a human being – but the way his heart beat a little faster just thinking about him told him there was more to it than that.

His phone pinged then, and he saw a text from Izuku.

Just got home from work! (kissy face emoji) Call me?

Can’t. I’ve got clients coming over. We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah? He responded.

Aww, okay (sad face emoji)

Sorry baby. I miss you (heart emoji)

(Three heart emojis)

Katsuki chuckled to himself at that response.

“Who are you texting?” Midnight asked, trying to peek over but still keeping her eyes mostly on the road.

“Uh, no one.” Katsuki fumbled to turn off his phone and put it away.

“Uh-huh. It’s a guy isn’t it? Is he cute?” Midnight asked, smirking to herself.

“It’s not…” Katsuki started, then ground his teeth together, thinking. “How the fuck would I even have a normal relationship?” he asked under his breath.

“Mm,” Midnight nodded simpatherically. “In my experience? You don’t.”

Katsuki sighed and stared out the window.

“Oh, no,” Midnight said, her eyebrows rising. “Oh, no. Wow. I did not peg you as the type to leave for a man.”

“I’m not–” Katsuki started, then found himself laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” Midnight asked.

“You really can’t get away with saying ‘pegged’ in a normal context,” Katsuki said.

“Oh come on!” Midnight rolled her eyes, but then she started laughing too. They chuckled together like that for a minute, and then Katsuki saw the convention building coming up on the left.

“We’re here,” he said, and suddenly Midnight stopped laughing.

“Damnit, you distracted me so you wouldn’t have to answer!” she said, pulling into the parking lot.

“Oops,” Katsuki shrugged. “Time to get to work.”

Katsuki lay on his side in the dark of the hotel room, the arm of his target around him as he waited for the man to fall asleep. He was used to the feeling of touches he didn’t want, the feeling of sweat and sheets, the smell of alcohol, the feeling of clothes that he didn’t want to wear, but tonight was different. He thought about all the looks he’d shown this man, all the things he’d let him do to him, and it made him sick. The whole time he couldn’t stop wondering what Izuku would have thought if he’d seen. He could clearly see the devastated eyes, hear the tremble of his sobs, feel the harshness of his words as he told Katsuki he didn’t want anything to do with him, and it hurt.

It hurt so fucking bad.

The man started to snore then, and Katsuki couldn’t wait a second longer. He peeled himself out of his grasp and found his shoes on the ground to pull the vial of poison out of its hiding place in the heel.

Staring at the sleeping form of the man on the bed, lit only by whatever moonlight came in through the sheer hotel curtains, Katsuki was suddenly filled with rage. Never before had he wanted so badly to kill one of his targets as now. How dare he have touched Katsuki like that. How dare they all. Fuck, they’d all deserved to die, all except Izuku.

And then he was reeling.

Izuku would hate him for that, too: for the bloodlust. It isn’t just the sex that would disgust him. If he knew that Katsuki killed people? It was over. He was done.

With shaky hands, he went about his job, slipping the poison past his lips and packing up to go, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was holding back tears as he slipped out of the hotel and headed home, the thought that Izuku would hate him slowly morphing into the belief that he would deserve it, too.

And then, as he turned the key to his door he realized with a start: people like him didn’t deserve happy endings, but people like Izuku did.

They sat in Izuku’s living room, take out boxes on the coffee table, their half-eaten, greasy contents lit in flashes by the horror movie playing on the television. He had called Katsuki after work on Friday like always, but this time he fumbled out an invitation for Katsuki to come over to his place, which was easily taken.

“Eep!” Izuku tensed at a jump scare, clinging tighter to Katsuki, his face practically half hidden in his chest.

Katsuki chuckled. It was such a stereotypical situation, and yet because it was Izuku, it was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

Izuku whined.

“Don’t make fun of  me,” he said, pouting. “It’s scary okay?”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I picked it,” Katsuki said, kissing the top of Izuku’s head, and then bending down more to whisper jokingly in his ear, “So you’d come running into my big, stong arms.”

“Shut up!” Izuku laughed, nudging Katsuki’s face away, but then they were looking at each other and they weren’t laughing anymore. Izuku bit his lip, and Katsuki went tumbling over the edge, wrapping his arms around Izuku’s waist and pulling him close on his lap to kiss him.

“Mm…” Izuku moaned into his mouth, hands cupping Katsuki’s cheeks.

“God, you drive me so fucking crazy,” Katsuki siad when they pulled away from each other.

“Yeah?” Izuku chuckled slightly. “Then I have it a million times worse.”

“Is that so?” Katsuki cocked his head to the side, but then Izuku was blushing and looking away.

“I don’t even… I mean, how do you do that thing where you kiss my neck? It felt… really good. But I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to do…” he looked back at Katsuki blinking a few times. “Anything.”

Katsuki gulped.

“Is it bad that I find that really hot?” he said without thinking.

Izuku started laughing, face crinkling up cutely, cheeks still red.

“Kacchan!” he chastised. “What does that even mean?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I guess I have a thing for virgins?” Katsuki shrugged.

“Well… you know, if we keep doing this… I’m not going to be a virgin forever,” Izuku responded, voice a lot quieter as he rested his forehead on Katsuki’s shoulder.

“I know,” Katsuki said. “Oh, trust me, I know.”

Izuku shivered in his grasp, and Katsuki leaned down to kiss at his neck, emboldened by the reminder of how much Izuku had liked it before.

“Ah,” Izuku huffed, hands tangling in Katsuki’s shirt.

“You like that?” Katsuki asked between nips and kisses.

“Mm-hm,” Izuku nodded limply.

“Good,” Katsuki said, slipping his hands up into Izuku’s shirt, feeling the bare skin of his stomach, his back, and finally his chest, where his thumbs brushed against sensitive nipples.

“Mm!” Izuku made a noise like a squeal that didn’t quite make it out of his throat, and Katsuki started to chuckle.

“Well there’s a new one,” he said.

“N-new what?” Izuku stuttered.

“New sound,” Katsuki said, then pulled Izuku’s shirt up and off him in one clean pull.

“K-Kacchan!” Izuku yelped, arms pulling close to his chest as Katsuki held him by the bare waist.

“This okay?” he asked, tone far more serious than he’d been the whole night, and Izuku quickly nodded. “You tell me to stop whenever you want, yeah?” he said, looking Izuku in the eye.

“Y-yeah,” Izuku nodded, and then Katsuki pushed him down onto the couch and busied himself with kissing and sucking Izuku’s bare skin with renewed passion, touching and teasing for as long as the nerd would let him.

Eventually, though, Izuku pushed at his chest, getting his attention.

“K-Kacchan,” he said, a touch of worry in his eyes. “We’re… I’m…”

“Yeah, I know,” Katsuki said, looking down at two tented pairs of pants. “We don’t have to go all the way just because we’re hard, you know. There are plenty of other things we can do. Or we can do nothing. It’s totally up to you.”

Izuku innocently cocked his head.

“O-other things?”

Katsuki couldn’t fall asleep. After they’d jerked off together, Izuku got super sleepy but insisted on trying to finish the movie, so of course he fell asleep on the couch, right on top of Katsuki, and Katsuki simply didn’t want to get up, so he resolved to sleep there, except he couldn’t.

The night had been great, just like every other time he’d seen Izuku, but now the reality of the situation had crawled back to the forefront of his mind and he just felt like shit.

Of course, it was a little different this time. Last week he felt like shit because he didn’t kill Izuku. Today though? It was because he was too chicken to ask Izuku why the fuck someone wanted him dead.

After Wednesday night, Katsuki resolved to get to the bottom of that question in order to maybe, possibly, somehow find a way for him to not have to kill Izuku, but a search through company files hadn’t been as successful as he’d hoped.

The hitmen themselves weren’t supposed to know anything about who requested the kill, so their names were highly guarded by the few techies that did all the information gathering on targets, but if you asked the right people in the right ways, they’d let you peek at the files.

And Izuku’s file was interesting, but not entirely helpful.

There was a lot of stuff on how they decided which hitman should do the job, eventually settling on Katsuki when his daily routine proved difficult for a sniper, but a tinder profile he deleted two years ago revealed a preference for blondes. Men and women, actually, which somehow didn’t surprise Katsuki even though Izuku hadn’t told him, but none of that was the important part.

No, the only thing he really cared about was information on the requestor, for which there was really only one thing: a name.

Tomura Shigaraki.

Katsuki looked him up, obviously. A highly successful tech businessman who the press called a brat that simply inherited his father’s company, as it turns out, but Katsuki couldn’t see how he would even know Izuku, much less want him dead. Izuku was probably the only one who did know, if there was an answer at all, but Katsuki knew the second he asked he’d have to tell Izuku the truth, and then it would be over. Izuku would hate him.

So, instead, Katsuki laid awake on the couch, stroking Izuku’s hair as he slept on his chest, and tried not to think about time slipping between his fingers.

 

 

Chapter Text

“It’s so funny, you’re all my friends ever ask about now,” Izuku said over the phone as Katsuki made himself a cup of coffee on Monday morning. They’d spent nearly all of Saturday at Izuku’s place after Katsuki stayed the night, and then went out to see a movie that evening, and yet still Izuku insisted on calling him that morning. It was all they could really do on the weekdays, anyways: chat briefly in the morning before Izuku went to work and extensively in the evening after he got back.

“Oh yeah? What do they want to know?” Katsuki asked.

“Oh, you know. Basic stuff, mostly,” Izuku said. “Ugh, but some of them keep asking if I’ve lost my virginity yet. I keep telling them it’s none of their business, but still…”

“Yeah, I can see how that would get annoying,” Katsuki sympathised. “But you shouldn’t have to tell them anything if you don’t want to.”

“I know,” Izuku said, then sighed.

“What is it?” Katsuki asked.

“I don’t want to have to go to work this week. I just wanna spend all my time with you,” he said, practically pouting.

Katsuki chuckled.

“You know I’m not free all the time, either,” he reminded him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Here. Why don’t we go ahead and make plans for Friday so you have something to look forward to?” Katsuki offered.

“Mm! Yes! I like that idea,” Izuku answered, his excitement turning to giggles.

“Okay. How about another dinner date? I could pick you up from your office,” Katsuki offered. “But this time I get to pick the restaurant.”

“Sure!”

“Great. I’ll text you about it later,” Katsuki said, pulling his freshly made cup of coffee out of the machine and turning around to check the time. “You need to get to work.”

“Ugh. I know. Talk to you tonight!”

“Bye. See you,” Katsuki said, pulling the phone away from his ear to hang up. He stood there for a while, staring at his phone and reveling in the warm feeling just hearing Izuku’s voice gave him, and then his phone buzzed with a new call, and his lips instantly fell into a frown.

It was his boss.

“Aw, shit,” he said, putting the coffee down and taking the call. “Hello?”

“Hello, Katsuki. I see you put in for a second extension.”

Katsuki sighed.

“Yeah. It’s just… taking a bit longer. He’s playing hard to get,” he said.

“Mm-hm. Is that so?” the cold voice on the other end of the line questioned.

“Yes, really. Look, you don’t need to transfer the assignment. I promise by the end of the week he’ll be dead,” Katsuki said, lying through his teeth.

“He better be. If not, you’re losing the assignment. I have dozens of people who could get this done in an hour, Katsuki, but because this is your first slip-up in the four years you’ve worked for us, I’m willing to give you one last chance. Do you understand? This is an act of mercy. Do. Not. Fail me.”

“Y-yes, sir. I understand.”

He hung up.

Katsuki felt his knees get weak and leaned against the wall, lips trembling as he kept in tears. No matter which way he looked at it, Izuku only had one week to live. He knew it already, he wasn’t surprised, but it felt like a slap in the face to hear it so clearly; if Katsuki didn’t kill him, someone else would. The company wouldn’t stop until he was dead.

“Damn it!” Katsuki yelled, just about throwing his phone across the room before stopping himself, not wanting to break it. He set it down on the counter and stormed into the living room, where he could safely throw and punch the pillows until he got it all out of system, until he was lying face down on the couch, crying into the cushion.

There was no way this ended with them together, was there? But if Katsuki could just save his life, even if it meant never seeing Izuku again, even if it meant losing his job, even if it meant turning himself over to the police, he would do it.

But he didn’t know how.

On Friday evening, Katsuki pulled up to Izuku’s office dressed in a dark red suit, the white button-up underneath open a bit more than would seem formal, allowing a sliver of a view to his chest. He got out and waited by leaning up against his car, heart pounding stupidly in his chest even as he kept a cool demeanor. He didn’t know why he was being so flashy, other than that it was what he was used to given his work, but he knew it was worth it when Izuku came bumbling out of the glass office doors with his face completely red.

“U-um. Hi Kacchan,” he said, and suddenly people watching them from the third story window started whistling.

“Have fun Midoriya!” someone yelled, and Izuku winced.

“Sorry about them,” he said, hushed, and walked around to the passenger’s side door. “Let’s go, okay?”

Katcuki chuckled, looking up at Izuku’s coworkers, with a smirk, and then got in the car.

“Uh, I know you said the restaurant is semi-formal wear, but I figured what I normally wear to work would be okay?” Izuku asked once Katsuki got in the car. He gave at look at Izuku’s outfit – a white button up and pink tie tucked into a gray sweater-vest and black slacks, the red sneakers thankfully replaced with black shoes – and couldn’t help thinking he looked adorable.

“You’re fine,” Katsuki said, trying not to sound affected as he started the car.

“Ah, good,” Izuku sighed, which turned into nervous laughter. The whole night, Katsuki kept noticing how giddy Izuku seemed, between squirming in his seat and pushing his food around his plate. They ordered a bottle of white wine, and Izuku seemed to sip it a little too fast. Not that he got really drunk, just that he seemed less able to restrain himself than normal.

He clung to Katsuki’s arm as they left the restaurant, and Katsuki bit his lip, wondering if he should ask.

“Hey,” he said once they were out in the parking lot.

“Hm?” Izuku looked up at him, making Katsuki pause a moment under the gaze of those big, beautiful eyes.

“Uh… you seem… nervous. Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Oh. I suppose that’s… I mean that is… I… y-yeah. I don’t know. I just… I suppose I’m finding it hard to believe. I just, I don’t get attention from guys like you. I’m not used to getting attention from anyone at all, actually, and when I do it’s… it’s bad.”

Katsuki raised an eyebrow.

“How do you mean?” he asked.

“I… I don’t know,” Izuku shrugged, looking away. “I guess it just feels too good to be true.”

Katsuki clicked his tongue.

“Well, it is true, okay?” he said, forcing Izuku to look at him with a soft hand on his cheek. “I like being with you, Izuku. I like talking to you and I like kissing you, and that’s all I need from you until you’re ready, okay? And don’t say shit like you don’t deserve my attention. I’m the one who hardly deserves someone as sweet as you.”

“Oh, Kacchan, don’t say that,” Izuku shook his head. “You could have anyone you want, and you know it.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. That wasn’t what he meant.

“Fine. Then I want to have you. Got it?” he said, staring intensely at Izuku.

Izuku gulped and nodded, his lips slightly parted as if anticipating a kiss.

“Good,” Katsuki said, pulling away with a smirk and leading Izuku to the car.

“Ah, wait,” Izuku said, holding his wrist before he could get in the driver’s seat.

“Hm?” Katsuki looked back at him.

“Can we… I mean… do you wanna come back to my place?” Izuku asked.

Katsuki felt a twist of guilt in his stomach, remembering how those words were what would have gotten Izuku killed the night they first met, but nodded anyways.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that.”

It felt so good to kiss Izuku, thumbs rubbing circles on his hips as he held the man in his lap, sitting on his couch in the dark, fingers carding through his hair as Izuku kissed him back like he was finally figuring out how to do it properly.

“Mn, fuck,” Katsuki said, pulling away to kiss up his jaw and nibble on the shell of his ear.

“Ah, Kacchan,” Izuku practically moaned, hands falling around his shoulders and gripping at his shirt, the suit jacket already abandoned. “I’m too hot.”

“Oh yeah? How about we shed some layers, then?” Katsuki said, reaching for the hem of Izuku’s sweater-vest and pulling it up and over his head before tossing it somewhere on the ground.

“I can… get the…” Izuku mumbled to himself as he started to loosen his tie, but before he could get it off, Katsuki grabbed it and pulled him forward, kissing him hard.

“Mm!” Izuku hummed in surprise, but quickly dropped the task and went back to touching Katsuki’s face, focussed solely on their kiss. Katsuki reached up between them in the meanwhile, and pulled Izuku’s tie off himself before starting on the buttons of Izuku’s shirt.

Izuku pulled away from the kiss, panting, and reached between Katsuki’s arms to open the last few buttons of his shirt, too, their arms a tangled mess of fingers fumbling over buttons, but soon enough, both their shirts were completely open in the front.

Katsuki paused, looking up at Izuku, but he could see his eyes were focused down on Katsuki’s chest, a curious hand lifting to feel his defined pecs and abs.

“Heh. Better?” Katsuki asked.

“Mm-hm…” Izuku nodded slowly, and suddenly flinched as if he’d remembered something too suddenly.

“Izuku?” Katsuki questioned, running a hand through his hair and bringing their faces close again.

“Do… do you want to, um… I mean, I guess it would be okay if we… you know…” Izuku said, all of his nervousness from earlier in the evening returned to him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Katsuki said, rubbing his thumb gently across Izuku’s cheek. Izuku looked surprised, so Katsuki added, “I mean, unless you really want to. I just thought, I mean, it doesn’t really seem like you do.”

“Ah, you read me too well,” Izuku admitted, looking down bashfully. “You’re not, um… disappointed?”

“No. Why would I be? We’d already decided to take it slow,” Katsuki asked.

Izuku chuckled sadly.

“S-sorry. I just… my friends kept joking about the ‘third date rule’. That we’d… that you would expect us to…” Izuku sighed. “Gosh, that’s so stupid. I don’t know why I even… and now I’ve ruined the mood and… damnit, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m the worst.”

“No, no, no,” Katsuki shook his head. “It’s fine, really.”

“Yeah?” Izuku looked up at him hopefully.

“Yeah,” Katsuki nodded, showing him a warm smile.

“Oh, stop it. You’re too nice,” Izuku said, letting his head fall to Katsuki’s shoulder, but the laugh in the back of his voice assured Katsuki that he was smiling.

“Mm,” Katsuki hummed, petting Izuku’s back as they sat there for a few peaceful minutes. His smile slowly started to fade, however, as he recalled the conversation with his boss a few days ago. He couldn’t wait any longer. He just had to get out with it.

“Izuku,” he said, breaching the silence.

“Yeah?” Izuku picked his head up.

“Who is Tomura Shigaraki?”

Izuku’s eyes widened in sure terror.

“H-how… how do you know that name?” he said, jumping up out of Katsuki grasp to stand in front of him, muscles tensed, but then a new horror flashed across his features and he reached out to hold Katsuki’s shoulders. “Did he threaten you? Is that why?” he shouted, shaking Katsuki, but then he started to hyperventilate so he reached up to put his hands on his head and pace around the room. “No, no, no! He knows we’re dating! He’s gonna fucking kill you, and it’s all my fault! I never should have–”

“Izuku!” Katsuki said, grabbing his arm to stop him. “He… he didn’t threaten me. I promise, I’ll explain why I know his name if you just… tell me what happened between you two,” he tried to phrase it lightly.

“I…” Izuku looked away, thinking, but then walked back over to the couch, turning on a lamp as he sat down. Katsuki joined him, but kept a bit of distance between them.

“Okay,” Izuku said, voice barely a whisper. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But it’s…” he sighed. “Nevermind. Shigaraki was… my boss, for the second semester of my senior year of college. When I got the position as his secretary, I thought it would be super cool to learn the inner workings of such a world-renowned tech company that I didn’t care if it wasn’t a job that used my computer science skills. I figured I’d just quit when I graduated and get a better job. I… I still did that, but god do I regret working for him.”

Izuku paused, hanging his head and taking in a shaky breath, then wiped his eyes and started again.

“Over the four months that I worked for him, he became completely obsessed with me. Like… romantically. He asked me out incessantly, kept telling me I’d make the… the perfect wife. Which like… what the fuck? Because I’m a guy, and he clearly knew that, but he was… I don’t know. Everything he said was creepy. I hated him. But he was my boss and… and eventually I cracked. I went on a date with him. It was just supposed to be one, but it turned into three and… that’s when he… when he tried to…”

Katsuki’s eyes widened.

“No,” he said involuntarily.

“It’s okay. He didn’t… I mean, I’m still a virgin, so… I’m sorry. I don’t really want to talk about that part,” Izuku said, voice wound so tightly it sounded like he was about to burst.

“No, of course. You don’t have to,” Katsuki shook his head.

“Right. Well, I quit after that, but he started stalking me. It was… really scary. So I filed for a restraining order. I have a restraining order against him, and since then I haven’t seen him, he hasn’t technically violated it, probably because someone finally got it through his head that he can’t afford the scandal, but I started getting these… anonymous letters that I could only assume were from him. They started out as love letters, begging me to come back to him, but over time they got… really dark. The last one I got, about a month ago… it really scared me.”

“What did it say?” Katsuki asked, his hand shaking slightly with the fear that he already knew the answer.

“Uh… well, it ended with something like… if I can’t have you, no one else can.”

“Fuck,” Katsuki whispered.

“So… that’s it. Why did you… I mean, how did you even know?” Izuku turned to him then, expression twisted with suspicion.

“I…” Katsuki froze up. He couldn’t lie, could he? “This… is probably going to be hard to believe… or, heck, maybe not after all you’ve been through, but… I’m a hitman. I was, shit, I was supposed to kill you. But then I didn’t want to, so I asked who put the hit on you, and all I found out was his name.”

Izuku laughed awkwardly.

“What?”

“I–I’m not gonna kill you. Don’t worry. I wanna help you find a way out of this,” Katsuki started to speak quickly, watching the realization dawn on Izuku.

“What the fuck?” Izuku shot back up to standing.

“I know, I know. But–”

“No!” Izuku screamed, backing up. “Stay the fuck away from me! Wha… is this a joke?”

“N-no. I’m sorry, but, look, it’s gonna be okay if we just–”

“Shut up! Shut! Up! Get…” Izuku paused, hyperventilating again. “Get out of my house!” he yelled, pointing to the door. “Get out!”

“Izuku, please–”

“No! You listen!” Izuku stomped his foot on the ground, and then pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “Get! Out! I’m calling the police.”

“I-Izuku,” Katsuki choked out, feeling as if the world was slipping through his fingers like sand.

“I said, get out of my house! Now! Or I’m telling the police about you, too,” Izuku shouted back, and Katsuki realized he was crying. Izuku’s wet cheeks glowed gold in the lamp light, and in a single second Katsuki saw anger and despair and fear in those eyes, and he couldn’t do anything but obey.

So he left.

 

 

Chapter Text

Katsuki was frantic, but had nowhere to put his energy. He’d driven home, sat anxiously in the car for a while, started driving back to Izuku’s apartment, then cussed himself out and drove back to his condoe. Slamming the car door shut, he stalked up to the door and rushed inside, pacing around his living room in the dark with his hands in his hair.

“What the fuck do I do?” he said under his breath. “What the fuck do I do?” it grew to a yell, and he kicked his stupid, expensive, white couch hard enough that it hurt.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he hissed under his breath, grabbing his foot and hopping around for a bit. His nerves calmed a bit thanks to that, and he started to think clearly about the whole thing.

So, Izuku hated him. But he expected that; he would have to have been an idiot to expect anything else (although maybe he was just that stupid.) Regardless, he couldn’t change that, but he still had time to save Izuku, right? There had to be something he could do.

Biting his lip, he headed upstairs and sat down at his desk to get on his computer. After going through the ten-step, hyper-secretive log-in process like it was second nature, he checked his work inbox.

“Oh no,” he breathed softly. There was a message titled “Mission Terminated.” He’d never gotten that one before.

Steeling himself, he clicked it open and read it faster than he’d ever read before.

Notice of Mission Termination.

Your mission #400569103, target: Izuku Midoriya, has been terminated.

Reason for termination: mission transferred to different employee.

Please cease all attempts on target and await a new mission.

“Already?” Katsuki asked aloud, his heart beating so fast he could hear it. The mission was supposed to end tomorrow, not today. There must have been a mistake. It shouldn’t be transferred yet. When did it–

A new message appeared in his inbox.

He clicked on it without even reading the subject; it was from his boss.

I went ahead and transferred the mission, since I can tell you’re not going to do it. I’ll let it pass for now since you’ve never had a problem before, but if this ever happens again, we’ll need to have a chat. Young recruits like you have a poor tendency to go soft.

Fuck that.

Katsuki was done.

Speeding down the highway, Katsuki listened to his phone ringing over the bluetooth in his car. After three rings, she picked up.

“Katsuki?” Midnight’s voice came through the speakers, a tad tired, but mostly suspicious.

“Who. I know you know. Tell me who it was transferred to,” he said staring at the road ahead with the rage of a thousand suns.

Midnight paused, then chuckled awkwardly.

“What are you talking about? Wasn’t it gonna get transfered tomorrow if you didn’t finish?”

“Cut the bullshit Midnight, I can tell when you’re lying,” Katsuki snapped.

A sigh.

“Look I… fine. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re way past stupid. Well into badshit crazy territory by now. But if you tell me who, it’ll make things a heck of alot easier for me. You know, maybe I won’t end up in prison, or something,” Katsuki responded.

Midnight sighed again, far more defeated.

“There’s no stopping you, huh?” she asked.

“Damn right.”

“Well. It was nice knowing you, kid. It’s been assigned to a slasher. They should be there soon, actually, so you might wanna hurry it up.”

“Thank you,” Katsuki said, his voice returning to the clarity of sanity for just a moment. Midnight was silent for awhile, and Katsuki repeatedly considered hanging up, but then she spoke again.

“I hope he’s worth it. Bye, Katsuki.”

And with a click, she’d hung up.

Katsuki parked a block away, just in case, and walked through the brisk night air back to Izuku’s apartment. His breath was short, and all he could think about was the guilt if he got there too late – if Izuku was already dead.

When he reached for the doorknob, he found it completely busted.

He wasn’t the first one to sneak in tonight.

With renewed terror, he rushed into the apartment, running straight back to the bedroom. A scream resonated through the dark hallway as he went, and his mind went blank, he wasn’t even thinking anymore, just operating on instinct.

He flung open the door. Izuku was backed up into a corner, and a man with a knife stood over him, paused in his actions and half turned to see Katsuki.

Katsuki was on him in a second, pulling him back and away from Izuku, wrestling him to the ground, grappling for the knife and sending it skidding across the floor, out of his grasp.

“Stay! The fuck! Away from him!” he yelled, punching the man repeatedly. He paused, wondering if he’d knocked the guy out, but that gave him the upper hand and suddenly Katsuki was the one on the ground. They rolled about like that for a while, and eventually Katsuki’s superior strength won out. He stood over the man and kicked him the stomach, his back hitting the wall.

“I said get the fuck out of here!” he hissed. “And tell the boss that if he sends anyone else after this guy, I won’t spare them next time.”

The man nodded frantically, and stumbled up to his feet, running out of the apartment with a hand over his ribs and a limp in his right leg.

Panting, Katsuki wiped a hand across his lip where a bit of blood had spilled out.

“K-Kacchan?” Izuku whispered, and he turned around to see him standing in the corner, the knife in his hands, trembling with fear.

“Izuku,” Katsuki’s eyes got wide looking at the knife, and Izuku jumped with realization.

“Oh, no, I just… I picked it up, but then I didn’t know what to do with it and, um…” he trailed off, tears forming in his eyes.

“Did he hurt you?” Katsuki asked, inching closer with his hands outstretched.

“N-no,” Izuku shook his head. “You came just in time. If… if you hadn’t I…” his voice squeaked, and suddenly he dropped the knife and rushed into Katsuki’s arms holding him tight. “I called the police, but I didn’t want to tell them about you, so I just told them about the note and that I was scared someone was stalking me, so they said to come down to the station in the morning, but then I couldn’t fall asleep and then that guy came into my room and I thought… I thought I was dead, Kacchan. I thought it was over,” he sobbed into Katsuki’s chest.

“Shh, sh-sh-sh,” Katsuki cooed, petting his hair to calm him down. “It’s okay. You’re okay now.”

“Please… please stay,” Izuku choked out. “I… I know I said… before… but, Kacchan, I’m so scared. Please don’t leave me alone!”

“Of course I won’t,” Katsuki said, holding him closer and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m gonna make sure they never get you, okay?”

“Mm,” Izuku nodded, squeezing him close before finally pushing back and looking up at him. “When… when I go to the police station, pretend to be my boyfriend. I mean, pretend to have been dating me for longer than the hit’s been on me. We can say we think because Shigaraki saw me with someone else, he wanted to kill… one of us, we don’t know which. The guy with the knife came into our bedroom but you fought him off.”

Katsuki mulled it over for a moment, then nodded.

“Yeah. That… that might work,” he said, then bit his lip. “Why… why protect me though. I’d be easier if we… told the truth.”

“I… I know,” Izuku looked away, his cheeks growing warm. “But I… I don’t want to. It’s just that. I want to… I still want… I still like you. Even though you’ve… killed people, I – for some reason, you still don’t seem like a bad person. Not like… him.”

Katsuki nodded slowly.

“I know it’s selfish. You probably hate me now–” Izuku continued, but Katsuki cut him off.

Me hate you?” he questioned.

“Well, yeah. I yelled at you and told you to leave,” said Izuku, his voice squeaky with nervousness.

“No, Izuku. Fucking – You’re the one who’s suposed to hate me,” Katsuki shook his head, running his hands over Izuku’s cheeks.

“But I don’t,” Izuku shook his head, grabbing with front of Katsuki’s shirt in weak fists. “I like you too much.”

Katsuki couldn’t stop himself after that; he pulled Izuku into a kiss.

“Ah, shit, sorry,” he said, pulling back after a few seconds. “Was that, um, okay?” he asked, not quite sure where they stood anymore.

“Mm,” Iuzku nodded, his eyelids droopy. “I’m just tired. Can we… go to bed?”

“We?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow.

Izuku got red and looked down.

“I just… I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sleep if you aren’t here.”

“Ah, right,” Katsuki smiled bittersweetly. “Let’s go to bed, then.”

Izuku nodded, and the pair climbed awkwardly onto the mattress and under the sheets. Katsuki didn’t exactly know what Izuku wanted, so he just laid down on one side of the bed and waited, and soon enough Izuku scooted over to him and placed his head on Katsuki’s chest, one arm holding him and body pressed close.

“Please hold me,” Izuku whispered, and Katsuki instantly wrapped his arms around Izuku, squeezing his smaller frame close. Izuku sighed contentedly, and finally felt safe enough to close his eyes.

one year later

On days like these, when Katsuki had nothing to do but make dinner while waiting for Izuku to come home from work, he couldn’t help thinking about how lucky he was; he could hardly believe that it worked. After they went to the police with their carefully constructed story, they investigated Shigaraki and traced the payment back to the hitman organization. Not only was he in prison now, but when the police went to raid headquarters, they found that all information on the agents was already destroyed, so there was nothing linking Katsuki to them. He didn’t know anything else about the status of the organization, as no one, not even Midnight, had contacted him since, but he prayed that if not disbanded, they at least had no plans of going after him, as it would probably only cause the police to find them again.

And now he was living with Izuku, in a new apartment, where not a soul beside the two of them knows what he used to do. Still, the fact that it had all worked out wasn’t the part that amazed him the most. He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that Izuku, after all that, still wanted to be with him. For a while, at the beginning, he figured they would just pretend to be together so Katsuki wouldn’t have to reveal himself to the police, and that he was only sleeping in Izuku’s bed because he was too scared to sleep alone, and when it was over, when Izuku was safe again, he would leave, because obviously Izuku didn’t actually want to be with him. But, no. Izuku wanted to build a life with him.

On days like these, when Katsuki was alone in Izuku’s apartment (he still couldn’t quite call it his own) he felt himself get soft and small, lips quivering as he wondered how he could possibly deserve this.

But then the door opened, and Izuku called out happily, “I’m home!”

“Dinner’s just about ready!” Katsuki called back, turning off the burner so he could start to plate it up. He’d made Izuku’s favorite: Katsudon.

“Mmm! Smells so good! Did you make what I think you made?” Izuku asked, hugging him from behind.

“Mm-hm,” Katsuki nodded, spooning rice into a bowl as if there wasn’t a giant barnacle on his back.

“Ahh, thank you Kacchan! Just what I needed after today,” Izuku sighed, slumping against his back.

“Hard day at work?” Katsuki asked.

“Yeah. My boss made us finish the project early even though we were down a person… but enough about that! It’s time for dinner!” he said cheerily, giving Katsuki a kiss on the cheek before escaping back to the bedroom to put his briefcase away and change out of his up-tight office clothes.

Katsuki suddenly became aware of how tight his face was from smiling once Izuku left the room, and forced himself to relax it as he placed their bowls on the table.

Sure, it was hard to believe this was his life when Izuku was gone, but while he was here? Katsuki didn’t have a single complaint.

“Thanks for dinner babe,” Izuku said, coming out of the hall into the dinning room and giving Katsuki a kiss on the cheek before sitting in front of his meal.

“Of course,” Katsuki shrugged, taking his own seat. He still didn’t have an actual job, so he felt obligated to do all the cooking and housework, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t working on it, and he still had a comfortable pile of savings from his own work, but becoming an actual personal trainer required a lot more certifications than he’d realized. Still, he was pretty sure Izuku liked having a stay-at-home boyfriend, since he apparently lived on take-out and frozen meals before Katsuki started living with him.

“Ochako wants to know if you’re coming out with us next week,” Izuku said, drawing him back out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure,” Katsuki shrugged.

“Ah, yay!” Izuku smiled. “I didn’t want to go without you, honestly.”

Katsuki chuckled at that, and their conversation continued on as pleasantly as it always did. Sure, Izuku still had nightmares sometimes, and Katsuki was always there to comfort him, but most of the time he seemed surprisingly resilient. Katsuki had asked him about it once, to which Izuku simply replied that, after all he’d been through, he had a right to be happy, so he wasn’t going to let his past ruin his everyday life. Sometimes Katsuki wondered if that was why Izuku still wanted to be with him; because he was a part of Izuku’s ‘happy ending’.

After dinner was done, Izuku turned on the television and wrapped himself in a blanket, waiting patiently to be joined by Katsuki once the dishes were washed.

“Anything interesting on?” Katsuki asked, sitting next to Izuku.

“Mm-mm,” Izuku shook his head, extending one arm so his blanket-cocoon was open for Katsuki to join.

Katsuki chuckled, pulling Izuku onto his lap.

“So it’s just an excuse to cuddle, huh?” he asked.

“Mm-hm,” Izuku nodded sheepishly, holding the blanket wrapped around Katsuki’s shoulders and letting his face fall into the crook of Katsuki’s neck.

“Fine with me,” Katsuki shrugged, kissing softly up Izuku’s neck until he felt him shivering in his arms.

“Kacchan,” Izuku whined, repeating the nickname which thankfully didn’t have to change after Katsuki revealed his real name.

“What do you want, baby?” Katsuki cooed, running one hand through the curls closest to the base of Izuku’s neck.

Izuku shifted, pulling his face back up so it was level with Katsuki’s and breathed against his lips, “Kiss me.”

Katsuki did as he was asked without hesitation, crushing his lips against Izuku’s and holding him steady with the hand behind his head as he kissed him fervently. Izuku shifted on his lap, knowing how to move just the right way to rile him up. He wasn’t a virgin anymore, that was for sure.

“Are you sure that’s all you want, sweetheart?” Katsuki asked between kisses. Izuku smirked against his mouth, and he already knew the answer.