“Yo I’m Koichi,” says Koichi, introducing himself to the audience as all good meta narrators do before his narration voice disappears for the rest of the story. “Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down by some bizarre shit y’all. Get ready to get a feeling so complicated cause it’s about to get SPICY. Now, onto the instigating event.”
Because he’s being too meta to look where he’s going, Koichi slams his face hard unto something large and solid.
“Oh fuck did I accidentally run into a wall – oh fUCK that’s a persongggg,” he screeches, looking up and up and up at this goliath of a human being.
“Sup,” says Jotaro Kujo from somewhere far, far in the stratosphere above Koichi. “Look, I have a hat and some dolphin pins. Cool, huh.”
“Gah!” shrieks Koichi. “I’m s-so sorry s-s-sir, did I run into you?”
“Oh, that?” Jotaro smiles, although koichi can’t see it because Jotaro’s face is THAT far away from him. “Yeah, you slammed right into my goliath monster cock, my American-style meat ‘n’ two veg, my [M A G N U M D O N G]. But fear not, tiny one. For actually…” his voice drops lower, into a more… seductive range. “I’m kinda into dick headbutts. Or dick head and butts, haha.”
Suddenly, something the size of a lesser man’s telephone pole swings up with the speed of a frickin’ fast bullet and whaps Koichi with an uppercut that would make Goku proud. It’s Jotaro’s massive thick erection, not hidden at all by his ridiculous white MC Hammer pants I mean seriously, Jotaro, do you not take a look at yourself in the mirror sometimes and think, ‘this is just TOO much white’? Like y’all wearing the sails from the SS Big Butts And I Cannot Lie there. Anyway, there’s plenty of room in those sexy sexy MC Hammer pants for a massive erection to just up and thwack Koichi upside the head in one of those cool anime slo-mo moves where you see spit and probably a tooth flying into out of the protagonist’s mouth and the guy’s face goes all puffy and pouchy from the impact, know what I’m saying?
So, BAM! Koichi goes flying back like a Sex Pistols towards Mista’s helpless body and slams into the ground like a mile away. But it’s chill he’s fine he just levitates back like all the anime protagonists do when they get a power-up and stands in the shadow of Jotaro’s clothed erection. Jotaro can’t see it because his meat mountain is in the way, but the reason for this amazing new power which has nothing to do with Koichi’s abilities is because he, too, is aroused as fuck; his micropenis is standing up all the way to three inches and he’s already spillin’ precum all over his nice fuckin’ boxers.
“Oh, s-sir,” he breathes breathily cause breathing is fun according to whatsername from Love is War. “Let me taste your delicious sausage, and I ain’t talkin’ bout no English Breakfast neither, know what I’m sayin’? I want that supermassive American style MEAT.”
“Are you sure?” asks Jotaro cause yannow consent is good even if this is crack and shota and whatever.
Koichi flutters his adorable eyelashes and decides to go for some… ughh do I have to write this okay then. “OwO what’s this?” he croons. “Is that my master’s bulgy-wulgy? UwU *nuzzles* you have such a nice musk, pwease give me your cock master I’ve been vewwy good~”
[At this point the author was forced to go vomit ugghh okay I’m better now]
“I don’t know how you pronounced asterisks or that wiggly little doodad, but okay, don’t mind if I do,” grins Jotaro, whipping his pants open with a flourish. He’s not wearing any underwear because nothing can contain the sheer enormous power of his ginormous cock, so koichi is immediately treated to the sight of his meaty throbbing erection in all its thick, actual train-sized glory.
“Oh, sssir…” moans Koichi, cumming immediately and unable to stop because of the sheer masculine power and energy radiating from this glistening dong. “I’m cumming in my pants so hard… ah, fuuuck…”
“Well?” grunts Jotaro. “Don’t just stand there making a mess of yourself. Everyone in a one mile radius cums immediately when they see my cock and they don’t stop cumming till I do, so get crackin’.”
“WELL THEY ALL START CUMMING AND THEY DON’T STOP CUMMING, FED TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING –” yells Josuke from nearby as he cums a fountain of white over himself. He’s a true All-Joe-Star, after all.
“Shuddup Josuke you don’t get to suck this dick I do,” yells back Koichi. “You’re not even in this fuckin story and OH MY GOD I’M STILL FUCKING CUMMING!”
“told you so,” says Jotaro, waving his massive Pillar Man in Koichi’s face. “You caused this, you know, by headbutting my dick. So take responsibility.”
“Okaaaaay~” smiles Koichi, very much like how Holly would do which somehow makes Jotaro even harder because he’s a fucking momma’s boy who gets off to Mommy like a sick fuck I mean he’s already a pedophile for romancing Koichi what more do ya want.
Koichi takes Jotaro’s “Nice Boat” in both hands – it’s so big his hands don’t even touch each other like YIKES Jotaro’s wife musta bust a vagina in half or sumn. He licks and licks at Jotaro’s delicious meaty cock and actually starts to wiggle his tongue around inside Jotaro’s urethra. Then he just unhinges his jaw like a fuckin PYTHON and vores the entire head of Jotaro’s massive peen in one go and starts fuckin sucking it like a straw – which, by the way, should always be recycleable or reusable and not made of plastic cause otherwise they’d pollute the environment, dawg, and get in the nostrils of all those poor sea turtles, and that would make Jotaro sad and unable to cum. Do you want that, huh? Do you want the entire town of Morioh to be trapped in this hellish world of cumming unstoppably FOREVER? Huh? Do ya?
Anyway Koichi thinks he’s so cool managing to fit the entire head in his mouth somehow, I mean that thing is bigger than his actual HEAD (and not the head of his dick either which is tiny btw), but then he takes a look at the shaft and sees that it goes on for, like, a long way, like 50 meters or something I guess. This shit is gargantuan is what I’m sayin.
On the other end, the massive Jotaro waves encouragingly at koichi. “Keep going small child! You’re doing great! But you know my two previous lovers, my ex-wife and my gay best friend Kakyoin who looks a lot like you by the way, were both able to fit the entire thing inside them somehow! And yes, they both survived… at least, they survived the sex…” Here a small tear runs down Jotaro’s cheek. From where he is, Koichi sees a small waterfall cascading down Jotaro’s Mount Rushmore without the other three dudes (they’ve all Awakened and gone to find the Stone of Asia or maybe oil, whatever will make them the Ultimate country/beings, ayayaya oh wait no that’s Mexican and Americans aint about that shit).
To distract Jotaro from his manly tears, Koichi shoves himself further onto Jotaro’s dick, swallowing more and more of it until it goes into his stomach – then into his small intestine (yeah, I know the small intestine is wiggly, work with me here, okay?) – then into his rectum to brush against his prostate –
“AUGH!” Suddenly Koichi finds himself cumming even harder than he was already at the way jotaro’s massive dong brushes his prostate and sends electricity like Red Hot Chili pepper up and down his spine (but we ain’t got to that episode yet lol). Encouraged, he shoves himself up even further on Jotaro’s dick and allows the massive head to burst out of his asshole (and his boxers and pants) like a reverse fisting. By this point Koichi doesn’t look like himself anymore cause of the large pole inside him: you know that scene from Shrek where Shrek and Fiona casually abuse animals by blowing them into balloons? Yeah that’s what he looks like with Jotaro’s dick fucking him all the way through.
Jotaro reaches forward to hold Koichi around his dick like an ona hole and says, “Can I help ya out there little dude?”
“Ughuh,” gurgles Koichi. He unhinged his mouth people he can’t fucking talk.
“Okay lil buddy,” says Jotaro. “I gotcha covered mini-man.” With that he begins jerking koichi back and forth around his dick as if he’s masturbating with the tiny kid. His jerkin gets faster and faster, and Koichi keeps cumming more and more floods of white so that it drips out of his ruined boxers, until finally –
“OH GOOD GRIEF AND YARE YARE DAZE!” yells Jotaro in an orgasmic ecstasy as a literal ocean of cum begins to pour nonstop out of his dick hole which is still on the other side of Koichi. Yes, an ocean of cum, you read that right I am not fucking around here, within seconds the entirity of Morioh Square or wherever the fuck they are is up to the knees in white bubbling cum and, as Josuke pointed out earlier, it just don’t stop cumin. Mmm spicy.
“Hey! Didn’t ya hear Koichi?” yells Josuke at the author. “I’m not in this stor—bblbubublbublbu…” He’s literally drowning in Jotaro’s ocean of cum which by the way is still going, filling up the whole of Morioh, sweeping away houses and cars and people. Although some of it might be other people’s and Koichi’s from when they were all cumming from the mere sight of Jotaro’s cock. Anyway it keeps going and everywhere is under cum, not underwater, except Jotaro who as we have already established is not just big in the dick department.
“Aw, jeez,” he groans as his waves of cum begin to subside and he sadly takes the deflated Koichi off his slowly sagging dick. “That always happens. That’s why my hometown is drowned cause I used to do the M word thinking of my sexy sexy MILF Mommy bitch. That’s also where the name Stone Ocean comes from for part 6 cause actually I came inside whatsername and I dunno, guess I had a kid or somethin’, I forgot, but more importantly I drowned an entire town when I came. Also it explains why most of Egypt and the middle East is no longer a desert and is actually a lush beautiful garden. Good times… I’m still gay for Kakyoin, no homo tho.”
Koichi, dangling from his hand, coughs. “Uhh… sorry to interrupt your reminiscing, yo, but Morioh is kinda drowning? And it’s kinda my hometown? My best friend slash only friend Josuke Higashikata lives there… or did…”
“Josuke Higashikata, did you say?” Jotaro hmm’s, his cerulean fuckin orbs (guys. They’re BLUE. FUCKING. EYES. Stop using the phrase cerulean orbs I’ll kill you you don’t even know what cerulean means you little bitches you just think it sounds cool OOOH CALLED OUT) looking pensive. Uggh. I’m literally writing in overused clichés and it’s painful so I’ll stop now. “That… is the name of my uncle! He’s a teenager… but I’m like 28 cause my grandad’s a nasty bitch. Okay little bro, I’ll help your town, but only cause you’ve been so reliable with helping me get off. Okay?”
“Okay,” nods Koichi.
And so they go to save Morioh from the ocean of cum which coincidentally killed Yoshikage Kira and all the bad guys of JoJo’s Funky Travels Part 4 Diamond is Not Crash but not the good guys, not even that weird little fat kid Shigechi. And they all had a beautiful Duwang. Chew.