Work Header

(Love of my life) Can't you see?

Work Text:

"Well, I guess my secret project is not that important then," Jim said over the phone, effectively cutting Brian's tirade on his hate over this tour's lighting team.

"What?" Brian asked, confused.

"Oh, nothing" Jim let out a humorless laugh, and the guitarist would have had to be deaf not to hear Jim's bitter tone even through the static.

They remained silent for a beat, the guitarist desperately trying to make sense of his soulmate's comments in the context of the conversation they'd been having.

"...what?" Brian repeated dumbly.

"My project, Brian. The thing that I've been trying to tell you about for over 4 phone calls now"

"I thought we were talking about the tour?" Brian tried not to sound awfully out of his depth, because he hated that feeling.

"How is me talking about flowers appropriate commentary for your monologue about the roadies?" Jim asked, and well, when he put it like that, Brian could see the way the gardener obviously had been trying to say something all along.

"I'm- I'm really sorry, Jim. I'm an idiot." Brian apologized, and he heard movement on the other end of the call. Jim getting ready for his day. "Can I know what it is?"

"Not right now, Brian, I'm busy" Jim sighed, and Brian heard some rustling and Delilah's faint meows. "Besides, my enthusiasm has dropped after two days of trying to get you to say something"

Brian felt his stomach drop. Had he really been ignoring Jim? But of course he had, that had always been his problem, not paying enough attention.

"Alright, I'm sorry again," Brian said, hating his own weirdly detached tone. He really _was_ sorry. He wanted to apologize a thousand times, but he thought maybe that wasn't the best thing to do right now. Jim was a practical man, who liked to make the best out of his day. Brian apologizing for half an hour would probably count as wasting time. He tried to lighten the mood. "Uhm, have a great day today!"

"Yeah, thanks" Brian could practically hear Jim rolling his eyes. Maybe cheerful hadn't been the best approach after all.

"Oh, I-" the guitarist started to say, and kicked himself for not being able to come up with something faster. He had always envied Freddie's quick wit, and the way he could save almost any situation. Instead, Brian was a spluttering mess when anxious.

"I have to go," Jim said for him. Brian bit his lips.

"Of course, of course. Uhm, I love you" Brian said, groaning internally at his own lameness. In times like these, how had he ever become a successful rockstar was beyond him.

"Yeah. Well, talk to you later. Good luck tonight" and with that, Jim hung up. At least he hadn't said a bitter and fake 'I love you' back. Brian loved that about him, Jim never said anything he didn't mean with his whole soul.

The guitarist set the phone down and banged his head twice against the wall. He replayed the whole conversation in his head and groaned. How had he been so stupidly oblivious to Jim's not so subtle hints? Yet again, it wouldn't be the first time Brian completely ignored other people's thoughts in order to talk about his own things. Hadn't that been the whole reason behind Back Chat?

Pressing his fingertips against his lips, Brian closed his eyes and tried to keep at bay the bout of tears he hadn't felt coming. It would be fine. They'd work it out soon, he was sure. They always did.