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Lemon Boy and I Will Live Forever

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Dear Mango,

Merle said you died happy, and I know you probably did. You were always happy, you big bloke. But, still, I can’t help but feel that your death was too soon. You always acted like a kid, even towards the end. We loved you, I hope you know that. I know me and Merle don’t show our emotions that often, that is the good ol’ Taako brand for you but we did. We really fucking did. I know you are never going to see these but Barold said that writing down my feelings might help.

You tried to get us to leave the room right before it happened since you didn’t want us to be sad but Kravitz was there, Mango, so was Lup and Barold, you know them, they told us the moment you lost your grip. 87, Mango, that’s longer than I think any of us thought you would get.

Kravitz told us that he took you to Jules. Me and Merle never got to meet her but the way you talked about her man, and the fact that she loved you as much as me and Merle, she really sounded amazing. Let’s hope that she can keep you out of trouble till me and Merle get there, which I know will be a while since Mom is already a bit all over the place after you were gone. I mean, she did lost one of her kids or “followers” or whatever you would call us for her. Bird Mom calmed her down by telling her that you were safe and happy, that helped more people than just Mom, though.

Things are more quiet. The dogs are still crazy as ever but I think they miss you, as much as they can without understanding the situation. Ango stayed with us for a while after your funeral, kept me and Merle company in the house, which you would always remind us that you built. I....I miss you. I miss you so much. Tres Horny Bois can’t really handle being Dos Horny Bois. You kept me and Merle from drowning in our shit so much that you allowed yourself to sink since you are the biggest self-sacrificing, rushing in asshole I ever met. Don’t worry though, we will be okay, you can rest, we will all be fine.

I just love you, Mango. I hope there are dogs where you are, since I don’t think you are on the moon.

With love, Taako Burnsides-Highchurch, lover of the biggest and best warrior idiot

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Dear Lucretia (Madame Director),

I never truly hated you. I just couldn’t. I looked at you and I saw my sister, the woman who held us all together during the century but I also see the woman who tore everything I loved away from me in a instance. I don’t think I can forgive you for it but I can’t hate you forever. It would hurt too much to.

You were alone, just in your chair with a paintbrush and painting. Me and Merle have hung it in our hallway. The birds on it (are those meant to be us?) are so pretty, full of a quiet sadness, I guess a little like you and me, huh? I’m still mad at you though for not letting us be there. You didn’t say anything to anyone about it. You knew that you were going, you were always smart like that. Lup told me that she took you to the cabin. Please make sure Mango hasn’t managed to die again. I trust you the most with keeping him safe. I know when you feed the journals to Fisher that you were also trying to keep us safe but I know you have changed.

Ango miss you so much. You were like a aunt to him, you made sure that we didn’t forgot him, you saw his light and he saw yours. He’s started writing everyday like you did on the ship. He’s good at it, so much in fact that every time I look at him, I see you in his eyes, the same sharp intelligence, and grace that is past your years while still being kind. I still see Mango in his smile too, the same overwhelming warmth and happiness.

Everyone was at your funeral. Avi, Carey, Killian, they all came. It was held a little outside of the Bureau HQ. There was a pretty willow tree that Merle said Pan grew just for you and flowers everywhere that Mook (Mookie, I don’t think I ever told you my name for him) had planted while Mavis kept watch. Mavie (my lil’ nickname for her, don’t think I told you that one either), is a lot like you too. She has the glimmer in her eyes and the ideas of a leader. She’s going to be the next Director, just you wait!...I hope you are okay. I miss you more than I thought I would. I’m sorry for all Candlenights, birthdays, anniversaries where I left you out. I left you behind. I’m truly sorry for that but just know one thing. When I see you again, I will give the biggest hug and best sorry that you have ever gotten because Taako doesn’t do anything less than the best!

I love you, Lucy. I hope you know that. I will make you some baller macarons the moment I get back to you, I promise.

Love, Taako Burnsides-Highchurch, your brother and best friend