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A Day Off

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Having blackout curtains was awesome when you remembered to close them. Wade groaned as the sun hit his closed eyes on Sunday morning. He tried shifting over, lifting Peter’s bare arm and rolling onto his side to be the little spoon. It worked for all of fifteen minutes but again the sun was in his goddamn eyes.

“Pete.” Wade grunted, picking up Peter’s arm and slapping it against his own bare chest, still not opening his eyes. After the fight they were in yesterday, Wade refused to give in to the morning sun’s joyful rise.

“Huh?” Peter groaned and snuggled up closer to Wade. The way his dumb fluffy hair fell meant the sun wasn’t beamed directly into his eyes. God, Wade missed his hair.

“Do the thing,” Wade grumbled, ruffling Peter’s hair and tugging on his ear, next to the little black gauge.

“No BJs before breakfast. ‘Member we talked. I get so hungry during it,” Peter mumbled clearly not fully awake and Wade groaned louder reached over the side of his bed. He had to finally open his eyes so he could pull up his katana holster and unsheath Arthur. Oh gross she still had blood on her. Wade winced and was glad Peter was still asleep.

He reached over with the blade to Peter’s workbench and flipped one of the web shooters into bed.

“Fuck yes, I’m a god damned hero,” Wade spoke softly and Peter just hummed happily, reaching over and rubbing Wade’s chest. His heart melted briefly but Wade had a mission. He took the web shooter and webbed the curtains closed with a sigh.

Wade laid back down in bed, wrapping Peter up in his arms as the younger man nuzzled up to his ear and mumbled.

“Love you.”

Wade rolled his eyes with all the love in his heart and kissed Peter’s temple before falling back asleep.


Peter had never been a morning person. It just wasn’t in his DNA. Really there had to be a bit of the DNA that favored a certain circadian rhythm. He should search for a paper on PubMed. It’d probably be worth reading the abstract. He really didn’t want to read the procedure.

“E. Coli’s not always a good choice,” Peter mumbled and reached over for Wade, groaning when he didn’t feel his boyfriend.

Soft music was playing and Peter couldn’t help but smile when he caught the song playing. He rolled over onto his back and smiled wider as he reached up and rubbed his eyes.

Wade’s singing started up, “I’m a thick bitch, I need tempo.~”

The blankets pooled around Peter’s waist as he sat up while Wade danced over to their bed from the kitchen. A tight black cotton t-shirt and grey sweatpants looked way too good on Wade this early. Peter leaned up as Wade leaned down and they kissed lazily.

Wade pulled back, but cupped Peter’s jaw with a satisfied smile, “Morning, beautiful.”

“Mm, Good Morning baby,” Peter yawned and flopped back in bed, making the pillows shift. He reached up and moved to take Wade’s hand in his own.

“Your arm all good?” Peter hummed, sleepy eyes looking up at Wade like he was the world.

Wade nodded, not meeting Peter’s eyes completely. It was hard to look at Peter when he turned the full power of his puppy eyes on him.

“Good,” Peter smiled and Wade’s heart ached. He smiled back and took his hand from Peter’s ruffling his hair.

“Come on. You promised me a blowie after breakfast earlier and the biscuits are getting cold,” Wade smirked as he walked back to the kitchen.

“Mm as long as it’s after food,” Peter yawned and stretched in the bed.


Wade’s cooking was amazing as always. Honestly for a guy that would eat two day old Taco Bell, his cooking was bomb. Peter didn’t even feel bad when he ate his third biscuit.

Pushing the honey towards Peter, Wade smiled and continued eating too. It was pretty much the only time things between them were silent and it normally made Wade’s insides boil to have silence but the soft sounds of Peter’s happy eating were to die for.

Their plates were placed into the dishwasher and Wade set his apron on the counter before going to their couch and taking up about 95% of the space as he flopped down.

He picked up the remote with his freshly grown arm and opened his arms as Peter laid down on top of him. Peter hummed his happiness and slid his icy cold fingers under Wade’s shirt.

“Oof, Webs. You gotta warn me, my nipples are gunna rip my shirt,” Wade snorted and turned off spotify on their playstation in favor of opening up Netflix.

Peter scoffed and reached up to pinch said nipples, smirking when Wade yelped, “My hands are cold and you’re always warm. Let me have this and put on Stranger Things.”

“You sure? You have to actually pay attention to that. We could watch the Office?” Wade reached his free hand down to rub the small of Peter’s back, accepting his nipply fate.

“Mm I can get through one episode, probably,” Peter hummed already petting his fingers down Wade’s sides.

“Pft. Okay sure.” Wade rolled his eyes and Peter pinched his nipples again for good measure.


Wade groaned and cupped the side of Peter’s face as he slowly slid his mouth down on Wade’s cock.

“Yeah babe. That’s perfect,” Wade smirked lazily as Peter looked up at him with lidded eyes. They held the same kind of rich affection that Wade knew his own eyes held.

How could he not love Spidey when he was so perfect?

Wade slid his hand through Peter’s messy brown hair, enjoying the way the younger man set his pace.

“I could spend all day with my cock in your mouth,” Wade murmured it gently, enjoying the constant stimulation from Peter’s talented mouth.

Peter hummed softly and reached down to cup Wade’s balls, rolling them in his palm gently. His other hand wrapped around the base of Wade’s cock, holding him steady as he pulled back to lick the head.

“My lips would be so chapped,” Peter grinned up at Wade, kissing the tip of his cock and licking around the head slowly.

Snorting Wade moved to run his fingers over Peter’s jaw gently, just admiring him, “I got some Burt’s Bees?”

“Let the record show Deadpool is a well prepared man if anything,” Peter leaned up and met Wade for a kiss, smooching his lips playfully as they parted.


“Uhn Peter,” Wade groaned as Peter fucked him over the armrest of the couch. He had his hands on the floor and his sweatpants around his knees as Spidey pounded his ass. His cock was thumping between his abs and the arm rest, leaving a nice wet spot as Peter laid over his back.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Peter laughed breathlessly, squeezing Wade’s hips and leaning back so he could watch his cock sink into Wade’s hole.

“No you,” Wade whimpered as Peter slapped his ass and pushed up his shirt to pinch one of his nipples. Wade arched his back and looked over his shoulder, humming his happiness when Peter was there to kiss him. The angle was shit but the taste was amazing and fuck Peter was a good kisser.

“Mm so close, baby,” Wade mumbled as they parted and Peter reached down to squeeze both of Wade’s plump cheeks, spreading him wide. He worked his cock in just a little deeper and shuddered at the way the head of his cock pressed against Wade’s walls.

Wade gasped as his prostate was stimulated again and the pleasure shot from his cock to his sore nipples and lips back down to his balls until he was coming.

Peter smirked when Wade started to come and he reached down to stroke the bigger man’s cock, always so proud of himself when he can make Wade come first. Peter worked his boyfriend through his orgasm and realized, just as Wade’s cock gave one last half hearted spurt of come, that he wasn't going to finish this time around.

“Oh? Not enough for you?” Wade raised a hairless eyebrow when Peter kept slowly thrusting into him. Wade’s cock gave a twitch of interest and that seemed to be enough to spurr Peter on.

“You know I can never get enough of you Wade,” Peter grinned and rolled his hips, pulling out slowly.

“Mm!” Wade whimpered and Peter snorted, picking up Deadpool bridal style and carrying him to their bed.


“Hello? Mm yeah Mr. Stark, I can talk give me a minute.”

“Kid I swear to every god out there if Deadpool is doing… things with you. I don’t have to talk now,” Tony said over the phone and Wade pulled off of Peter’s cock to roll his eyes. He motioned to the shower, patting Peter’s thigh when the younger man mouthed a ‘thank you’.

Wade was walking away to shower when he shouted back, “Wouldn’t want to blow him on the phone with you anyway, Stark.”

“Wade… No, no he’s going to take a bath… Tony, it’s good for his skin. Look did you call to check up on Wade or is this about yesterday?”

“We’re not doing anything today, Pete! Lazy Sunday! You pinky promised!” Wade called from the bathroom, and Peter covered the mic on his phone as he called back out to Wade.

“I know, I know. I think the Avengers are even taking some days off after I told Tony that we do it.”

“Good! Their high strung asses need it!” Wade called back out and Peter could hear a bath bomb hissing.


After a phone call with Tony that ended up being more like checking in on family, Peter slid into Wade’s lap in their bathtub. The water was a soft blue and Wade didn’t even bother to lean up as Peter kissed him. The brunette smiled wide and cupped his boyfriend’s face, “I love you… kind of a lot.”

Wade smirked and squinted his eyes open, teeth showing in his smile as he looked up at Peter, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Peter grinned and moved to kiss Wade again, hands moving down his jaw and neck to rest on his chest. Peter scooped up handfuls of scented water and bubbles, lazily pouring them over the part of Wade’s chest that was above the water.

“Well I love you a kind of lot more,” Wade moved his arms from the sides of the tub to Peter’s hips, thumbs rubbing his pale skin unthinkingly.

“Mm,” Peter smiled, fingers smoothing over Wade’s scars as he listened to the low music. The faucet dripped every few moments to no pattern, there was thunder in the distance, and Wade’s heartbeat was strong under his hands.

“What’d Stark want?” Wade asked, trying to sound casual but coming off as anything but.

“Some mission talk, asked about how some of my tech handled. Droney was working really well.”

“I noticed! Little guy was flying all over,” Wade smiled and Peter preened, blushing slightly, though it could be blamed on the heat of the water.

“Thanks, babe. But yeah, we started talking about his mini me and some of the shenanigans at the Avengers’ tower,” Peter snorted. “Did you know Thor can fit 29 grapes in his mouth? He apparently only almost died like 4 times trying to see how many he could fit in there.”

Wade laughed and Peter couldn’t help but join in, just imaging Thor’s face so full was so funny. Wade wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled, “I mean I know I can fit more in my mouth.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you can Merc with the Mouth,” Peter snorted and booped Wade’s nose, “you’d cheat though, mister I don’t mind dying to win this contest.”

“If we all can use superpowers then it’s not cheating!” Wade whined and Peter shook his head in amusement.

“You’re ridiculous.”


Rain pattered against their closed window and along the fire escape and if Peter had been worried about some villain trying to ruin Lazy Sunday, he definitely wasn’t worried now. No one liked to get out on a cold, rainy day. Not even baddies. Peter sipped from a mug of hot chocolate and pulled the blankets up around him.

Wade pushed back the blackout curtains, flicking the webbing on them into the trash can by their bed. He sat down on the couch next to Peter and sipped from his own mug before pushing play on Stranger Things again.

Peter hummed his happiness and laid his head on Wade’s shoulder, kissing his jaw when the older man slid a hand into his hair.

Everyone needed a Lazy Sunday in their opinion.