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5 times words mattered, but then didn’t.

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Whole story’s in Blaine’s POV

 

If only I had it in me to say something to him, I knew it would be too late, he wouldn’t want me now that he’s got him. Little does he know I could treat him so much better than he ever will.

 

Maybe you would get it better if I started from the beginning.

 

Picture this, 5 years old little boy on his first day of school, sitting alone with his lunchbox in the middle of the cafeteria, lost and sad.

 

Tall guy, one year older than me, brown hair and skinny jeans, coming up to me.

 

“If you ever need a friend, you can sit down with me?”

 

He asked in a high pitch friendly voice. I wasn’t able to say a word but I followed him. He never forced me to talk, never tried to make me uncomfortable, waited for me to be ready to open up.

 

“You don’t talk much. I hope it’s not because of me.”

 

“No. I am just shy.”

 

“I was like this on my first day too. Don’t worry it’s going to be fine. My name is Kurt by the way.”

 

“Blaine.”

 

At that time it was all sweet and friendly but as I’ve learned feelings, this was not as innocent as it looked. If only I knew back then what I know now, I was in love and I was in it for the long haul.

 

He was the only kid who refused to play with the others for me. I was too insecure, not to mention, I didn’t like the same games. Dolls, dress up and tea parties sounded better to me than cars, knights and dragons. He got it pretty quick, he figured out I wasn’t like the others, but neither was he.

 

The two of us would never be apart. No hurricane, no storms, nobody would ever tear us apart.

 

-

 

Now picture this. Summer of my 14th birthday. My mom would always let me bring a friend along with us to my grandma’s cottage. Obviously I would always bring Kurt because he was the only person I could spend every second of every day with and not want his life to end in a tragic murder.

 

My mom never thought about the consequences of the two of us sharing a bed and I used to pray for her to never find out how much I loved watching him sleep. No, I did not have mental health problem, my only disease came from my heart and it’s called love.

 

Sitting together on a giant beach tower, through my sunglasses I stared at him all day without anyone being able to figure it out. The sand on his skin, the water dripping from his hair, he was dreamy as ever.

 

“Blaine? Are you alright? You haven’t said a word in a really long time.”

 

“Yes, yes! Of course I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“You know you’re my best friend, you can tell me anything.”

 

“I am your best friend?”

 

“Of course you are, dummy!”

 

His arm around my shoulder, the faint smell of his perfume, I wish I could have stayed there forever.

 

 

-

 

Ryan, 17 years old, leather jackets and high boots, thinking he was so rebel while all he ever did was steal from an old lady at the grocery store. Not worth much, certainly not worth Kurt.

 

“Here’s my boyfriend, Ryan.

Ryan this is my best friend, Blaine.”

 

“You have a boyfriend...? Ohh... I’m so happy for you!”

 

Lies. I could have been happy for him if it didn’t destroyed me. Did he not see how much I loved him? I loved him for the past 11 years. In 16 years of living I have spent more than half hopelessly in love with him.

 

Best friend; a meaningless title I wanted nothing more than to get rid off.

 

I wanted more, ever since Kurt graduated we have been closer than ever. I thought it would ruin something between us but it didn’t. He would still call me every night, come over at least 3 times a week to check on me even if he lived about 20 minutes of walking away. I would miss him at school, everyone teased me about the two of us being secretly a couple. They didn’t know just how badly I would have wanted to.

 

-

 

Notification, 12 missed calls from Kurt. What if I didn’t feel like talking? Anyway he could talk to his new boyfriend now, he didn’t need me anymore. Received; Three voicemail.

 

“Is this all about Ryan? You don’t like him? I had doubts myself but you convinced me, I’m breaking up with him. Please, Blaine, I miss you, talk to me.”

 

Next Voicemail;

 

“Blaine. I love you so much I can’t stand you being mad at me. I’ve talked to Sam, he told me about how he thinks you might be mad because you have a crush on me? I don’t know if it’s true but I need to talk to you.”

 

Last voicemail;

 

“That’s it, I’m coming over. I won’t let you give me the silent treatment. I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

 

-

 

3 knocks on the door, tear filled eyes, I could barely look up. My mom opened up, letting him in and made him come up to my door. Door closed, he almost ran into it.

 

“Blaine!”

 

“Please go away I don’t want you to see me like this.”

 

“I’ve seen you cry thousands of time. Tell me one thing, do you love me?”

 

“Let me explain, Kurt... I.... yes.”

 

“Then don’t speak.”

 

Fraction of seconds later, his lips pressed on mine, his hands on my cheeks, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest and a smile I couldn’t hide anymore.

 

Words are overrated, if you truly love someone like I love Kurt and he loves me, you don’t need such thing as words.