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Darkness in my shadow

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As for the last few weeks, waking up was one of the hardest thing Peter had to do during his day. Waking up meant being in a world where Iron Man, Tony Stark was no longer, waking up meant remembering it and reviving his last moment before even setting a foot on the ground.

Peter swiped a hand over his face, taking away the traces of tears that ran down his cheeks. With a groan, he stood up and opened his door, scratching his belly over his shirt. After coming back they had to find a new apartment which was quite easy thanks with the support of Pepper Stark, since then May had made a new rule in “having breakfast together every morning”. Peter sleepily kissed May cheek and hummed happily when he smelled the bacon May was grilling in the pan.

“Sleep well sweetie?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

May frowned, but didn’t push the subject. She knew that Peter as still sensitive about Tony’s death. The world was been shook by the disappearance of the greatest hero, the man who saved them all, but Peter took it incredibly hard. For the first week in their hotel, he didn’t leave his room and after May bought their new apartment, he stayed confined in his room, curled up in his bed. Ned came to see him a few times but never had an answer to his questions.

The first change was when Pepper, Morgan and Happy came to visit them. May had been embarrassed to welcome them alone, but Pepper had only smiled with a sad look to Peter’s door and said she understood. They had tea in the living room and while they were talking, they didn’t notice little Morgan Stark entering the closed bedroom.

The room was dark and silent, nothing could tell someone was inside for the moment. Morgan tried to stay quiet as she approached the bed but her socks where making little noises on the bed and gave her away.

“May, leave. Please.”

“Pete, it’s me.”

A head came out from the bedcover and Peter squinted, trying to see where the voice came from in the dark room.

“Morgan?”

Morgan nodded but Peter could only see the blur of her form.

“I came with Mommy and Happy. Can I come?”

Peter and Morgan had met during the one of the worst days in Peter life. Before the funeral begun, Peter had come in the house, sad looking face and tense shoulders. He quietly eyed the room while May talked to Pepper when he felt something hitting his legs. Looking down, he saw a little girl gripping his black dressed pants with her tiny fists. When she looked up, Peter had to swallow back some tears, she had his eyes and it was disturbing for Peter to look into these gorgeous brown’s eyes so soon after everything. Crouching, Peter looked at Tony’s daughter and patted her hair with a shaky hand.

Peter opened his mouth several times before he managed to successfully say something. He wanted to look strong, but his voice came out as broken as he felt.

“I’m so sorry.”

Morgan didn’t say anything, she simply wrapped her arms around Peter neck and squeezed him hard against her, burying her face in his neck. Peter placed his hand on her back and held her while he stood up. He couldn’t help but mutter some apologies, tears slowly falling from his eyes. After a few seconds, Morgan moved apart to look him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry too, Peter.”

“You know who I am?” Peter asked, startled.

“Daddy has a picture of you in the kitchen. I saw him look at it and asked who you were. He said you’re my brother but you were not here anymore.”

Peter let out a sob and Morgan reached out to wipe one of his tears.

“I’m so, so sorry you lost him.”

“Me too.”

After that, Morgan was always glued to Peter and he was happy with things staying that way. Keeping a part of Tony close to him, his legacy. Going back to New York hit him hard.

“Of course, jump in.” Peter opened the cover and Morgan hugged him, that’s how the three adults found them a while later.

Since this day, Peter called Morgan almost every day to talk about small things and May couldn’t thank the little girl enough for putting a smile back on her nephew face.

*

Going back to school for Peter was hard too, but everything was hard now that Tony was gone. He was everything everyone talked about. Pictures and drawings of Tony and Iron-Man were put up in every classroom. All the teachers talked about what happened, at least what they fought happened during each wars and Peter could do nothing about it. He wanted to scream when they talked how bravely Spider-Man fought on the planet Titan, and he wanted to cry until his eyes hurt when they talked about the Avengers trying to pass the gauntlet to each other, never mentioning how Peter failed and how that resulted in Tony’s death.

Ned and MJ stayed close to Peter every day. Peter told the truth to MJ while crying because he couldn’t keep up the act anymore, not with his friends. They never told anything when they saw him with big dark rings under his eyes after a night spent crying and yelling in his pillow. Ned didn’t ask about Spider-Man knowing that Peter refused to wear the suit since everything happened. No one mentioned Tony in front of him. That was their silent rule.

*

Peter was quietly eating in the cafeteria when he felt it. This cold feeling on his neck, the buzzing in his head alerting him that something was coming. Raising his gaze, Peter saw the was Ned and MJ were looking at something behind him.

“Long time no see Penis.”

Flash. Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hadn’t missed this asshole, not for one second. Refusing to even acknowledge him, Peter took another bite of his baby carrots and continue to read his book about quantum physics that Scott Lang aka Ant-Man had lend him.

“Yo!” Flash spoke a bit louder. “I’m talking to you Parker!”

“What do you want?” Peter raised his head but didn’t turn to look at Flash. His voice was weird, emotionless and even Flash raised an eyebrow at this fact.

“How’s the Stark internship?”

“There’s no more internship, Flash. Not anymore.” Peter said through clenched teeth. Peter saw that Ned wanted to say something, most likely about what does it meant for Spider-Man but he kept his mouth shut. For once.

“That sucks. Liar.” Flash crossed his arms on his torso looking smug.

“Whatever you say, Flash.”

“Any news about your best friend Spidey?” Flash put a hand on the table, at the right of Peter and leaned on it, looking at Peter.

“No.”

“You are real fun to be around, Parker.”

Peter didn’t respond and took another bite, hoping that ignoring Flash would make him leave. Instead Flash pulled the chair next to Peter and sat in it.

“What’s your next lie? You need to keep us entertained. I’m sure you will find something. Like how you helped Stark during his fight on Titan!”

“I don’t want to go.”

“As his personal intern you must know everything…” Flash was smirking, looking right in front of him while he was speaking, not noticing how with Peter’s fists had become and how tight his jaw was contracted.

“I’m sorry…”

“Even how he lamentably failed…”

“ENOUGH!” Peter screamed, hitting the table with his fist. The meal trays rose and fell heavily on the table. Everyone was quiet and looking in their direction. Peter chest was rising and falling heavily as he was taking deep breaths to calm himself.

“Peter…” MJ gently said. She almost put her hand on his but Peter rose abruptly and stuffed his book in his bag.

Without saying anything Peter started to walk toward the door but what Flash said made him stop.

“What a reaction, Parker. Mad I talked about your sugar daddy?”

“Mr. Stark! We won!”

Peter took a deep breath and tried to relax his tense shoulders. He could sense everyone gaze on him and hear them hold their breath. He was about to take another step when he heard Flash, closer than last time.

“You’re pathetic. Like Stark was.”

“Tony… I’m sorry…”

Peter didn’t really acknowledge his own body moving, but one second he was facing the door and the other his body had pivoted and his punch connected with Flash’s jaw, hitting him. Hard. Flash fell, knocked out, but that didn’t stop Peter. He let his bag fall from his shoulder onto the floor and joined Flash on the floor to repeatedly hit him.

“We won!”

He could distantly hear some people yelling and screaming but Peter was focused. Focused on finally letting out the rage and grief that was eating him up.

“Tony…”

He felt hands trying to grab him but he just shook his shoulder to be free.

“I’m sorry…”

Peter was mess of tears falling down his face. A stinging feeling in his cheek made him snap out of the trance he was in. MJ was in front of him, her hand raised as if she just slapped him, which she just did.

Looking around him, Peter saw the look of horror on everyone face, after all he just beat the shit of out Flash. He didn’t have time to react that the principal was yelling in his face while the nurse, with a teacher, was looking at Flash bloodied face with a concerned look.

“You hear me Parker?!” Peter focused on Mr. Morita red face; his jaw tight with anger. “You’re expelled for now and he will see how things turns out with your aunt and Flash’s parents!”

“Tony… I’m sorry…”

Peter let his shoulders fall, clearly exhausted.

“I don’t care. I don’t care…” Anymore.