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Q doesn’t panic when he sees the man by the end of his bed just staring at him; he’s strong, has incredibly beautiful blue eyes and blond hair.

Then, when he tries to get up from the bed he groans in pain as the effects of the night before hit him in the head; it’s like someone is trying to open his skull up.

“I won’t do that again,” he mumbles to himself, knowing it’s a lie.

“Summoning me?” The man… Oh no, he’s not a man, is he? That’s just a vessel. Q suddenly understands now that strange feeling coming from him. It’s something dangerous. “Because you can’t send me back, I have to wish to go back myself and I certainly don’t want to right now.”

Q would be worried if that was his first time summoning a demonic entity while being drunk.

Fortunately M is more understanding of those incidents when it means it’ll get her a new agent. Of course, demons are not beings someone could just trust, but having a few of them working for MI6 has made agency turn into one of the best. Most of the agents and workers are witches and wizards like him though.

“You’re a powerful wizard, Q”

Alright, the supernatural entity is definitely mocking him now, because there’s no way he could look powerful at that moment. His hair is a mess, his headache is going to kill him and his glasses are twisted over his face and when he tries to move again they just slide down his nose completely.

“Listen…”

“Bond. James Bond,” the being says, smirking mischievously. Obviously that’s not his real name, but he looks like he enjoys it.

“Okay, Bond… I–I’m sorry for summoning you last night, but in my defense I was wasted,” he mumbles, perhaps too quietly while he tries to rub his temples. It’s like having a hammer hitting his skull repeatedly. He needs to make a potion right now, although he doesn’t really want to move.

“You were very intoxicated,” Bond smiles fondly at him for some reason. “You also were quite charming.”

Q decides to ignore the “charming” thing and focus on the “intoxicated” one. Who actually says that? Normally demons are very much aware of the time period and the slang of the moment and place where they are summoned.

“You don’t come here often, do you? I mean… to Earth.”

Bond stops smiling out of the sudden, he looks even sad and Q doesn’t know what he said wrong exactly.

“Only when necessary. It usually takes a few minutes.”

“But…” Q groans in pain again and this time Bond closes the distance between them and the wizard notices the impeccable dark blue suit he’s wearing.

A cup of tea appears suddenly and he hands it to Q; demons are powerful, they can make appear things effortlessly whenever they want, but they never do that to help a human, unless…

“We’re not bonded, are we?” Q grimaces, trying not to panic. Usually, a magic bond only lasts a few hours and its only purpose is for the wizard to control the demon.

It’s not that bad, but it could be a pain in the ass if someone has to show up at work that morning… Like he needs to.

Bond chuckles and leans to caress Q’s hair.

“Not yet,” he whispers and the wizard decides to ignore him.

“Then why did you give me this?” He points at the tea.

“To make you feel better,” Bond answers like it’s obvious, like he doesn’t know demons would use any excuse to make humans miserable.

Well… It can’t hurt, can it? Q spent hours on that bed, completely vulnerable, with a demon staring at him, hovering over while he slept… He certainly could have killed him if he wanted to.

Fuck it, he thinks before drinking the tea and he can’t help but moan when he feels relief… The pain is vanishing.

“Thank you,” he mumbles and he absolutely means it. Actually, Q could kiss Bond just for that, but that’s probably not a good idea.

“You’re welcome,” Bond whispers, caressing Q’s cheek before taking the glasses and putting them over the human’s nose. “You’re adorable.”

Q narrows his eyes.

“I thought I was powerful,” he protests. “I like it more when you call me powerful.”

“You’re both things,” Bond tells him. “And that’s absolutely fascinating.”

When he feels himself blush, Q decides that enough is enough.

“Alright… It’s not that I don’t like you, but I need to go to work and you need to go back to where you came from.”

“You can’t send me back,” he says calmly. “I told you.”

“All demons say that,” Q huffs, rolling his eyes. They all just want to trick humans into making them stay.

“I’m not a demon.”

Q wouldn’t believe him if it wasn’t because he had started to feel the energy coming from him, it was different, dangerous… Perhaps even more dangerous than a demon.

He leaves the cup of tea on his beside table and bolts out of the room; he feels relief when he finds his cats on the couch and panic when he notices the drawing on the floor of his living room.

“Is that–”

“Yes, that’s your blood,” Bond informs him, suddenly appearing behind him. “It’s sweet and it smells delicious.”

He decides it’s better for his mental health to ignore that last comment. There’s a book on the floor, the same book his mother told him he could never use.

It’s ancient, dark magic.

He picks up the book and looks at it, it’s still open on the page it was last night apparently.

Q almost screams when he reads what’s on it.

“So… what a-are you exactly?” He stammers, telling himself that it’s a mistake, he could never–it’s not possible for a wizard to do something like that…

“I’m Death.”

***

“And what am I doing here exactly?” Moneypenny looks irritated and honestly Q doesn’t blame her; they have to go to work and M doesn’t appreciate unpunctuality.

“I might have a problem,” he confesses and of course that’s when Bond decides to walk back in the living room. He narrows his eyes at Moneypenny who obviously has no idea what he is otherwise she wouldn’t be smiling at Q so smugly.

“It seems you summoned your incubus after all,” she says, grinning, forgetting for a moment she is mad at her friend.

Q groans again, only it’s not out of pain this time.

“Did I tell you that?”

“Yes… You don’t remember?” She asks and then rolls her eyes. “Of course you don’t! Q, you should–”

Bond growls, he steps in front of Q like he’s trying to protect him and the human fears for a second for Moneypenny’s life.

“I’m not an incubus and Q doesn’t need one,” he bares his teeth and both humans can feel the energy coming from him. “Not anymore.”

“Bond, please…” Q whispers, tugging his sleeve to get his attention. “James.”

That name it’s honestly better than any charm or spell Q could use; Bond relaxes immediately and looks back at him.

“Who is he?” Moneypenny asks then, after realizing how much power he has.

“So… It seems I summoned Death himself by accident,” he tries to smile, but his friend looks like she’s about to have an aneurysm.

“M is going to kill you,” Moneypenny says and suddenly Bond is again irradiating that raw energy of his.

“No one is going to hurt him as long as I’m here,” he snarls, looking powerful and intimidating. “I decide who lives and who dies.”

“M is not actually going to hurt me, James. That’s just an expression,” Q explains and allows Death to touch his face; it seems to calm him down.

“Even if they wanted to, they can’t hurt you, Q,” Bond assures, leaning forward to press his forehead against his. “I could just snap my fingers and every single one of your enemies would die instantly.”

“A-Alright, but let’s just n-not do that, okay?”

“Okay,” he simply says and honestly Q shouldn’t be that surprised or shocked; it’s normal for him to speak about death so calmy.

Moneypenny is looking from one to another, amused.

“I think M could forgive you if you bring Bond as a new agent. She’d love to have Death himself working for MI6.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Q mumbles and his cats decide it’s time to finally get off the couch and start demanding food.

Surprisingly is Bond the one that opens the can and puts the content in two plates; Q is still not sure how he knows where everything in his flat is.

“I can do it,” he says with a smug grin on his face. “I’d like to see where you work.”

Why suddenly everything has to do with Q? Alright, perhaps it’s his fault since he’s the one who summoned Death after all.

“It’s settled then,” she smiles at both of them.

“Not yet. I want something in return.”

Q sighs. It seems Death is not so different from a demon. He shouldn’t have known it wasn’t going to be easy. But then again, it’s his fault.

“What do you want?”

“A consort,” he looks at Q with a smile on his face, a hopeful smile.

“You want me to get you a consort?”

Moneypenny shakes her head.

“I want you to be my consort, Q.” Bond mumbles, looking down, like he’s waiting for his response.

There are limits to what a wizard can believe… And right now Q has starting to think this is definitely a dream.

“No, that’s… I mean, it doesn’t make sense,” he blurts out.

Bond looks hurt out of the sudden.

“I can feel love too and I’m perfectly capable of recognizing it when it’s looking at me–”

“I didn’t mean that!” Q cuts him off, the truth is that part of him does it because he’s definitely not ready to hear anything about love. No, no… It’s just too much. “I meant… Me. Why me? I’m not–I’m just me.”

Bond takes both his hands in his and keeps staring at him like they’re the only ones in the room.

“Even though the enchantment exists, no one has been able to summon me before,” Bond explains, almost like he’s proud of him. “Which means you’re smart and powerful. Also, you have the most beautiful soul I have ever seen.”

Q tries not to blush because he’s not supposed to be like this… He’s not someone who gets fooled by pretty words.

He frowns, but that only seems to make Bond’s eyes glimmer with mirth.

“If you think you can get what you want just because you sa–”

“At least allow me to court you, if by the end of the courtship you still don’t want me, I won’t bother you again,” he promises, although he doesn’t seem really worried about it; it’s like he’s sure he’s going to make Q say yes.

“Fine,” he gives in, reminding himself he still needs Bond to join the MI6 so he doesn’t get killed by M.

“Holy shit, Death is fucking in love with you,” Moneypenny whispers next to Q when Bond offers to make breakfast. The wizard would be worried about his kitchen if he didn’t know Bond was a supernatural entity capable of fixing everything he wanted. He could handle that, right?

“He is not,” Q whispers back furiously. He turns completely red, despite of his efforts not to.

“He is and you’re gonna be his consort. How do you feel about that?”

Well, he’s definitely not panicking.