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Deserve It

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"...I don't deserve it." Enta said, clenching his fists.

"Deserve what?" Toi asked.

"Is it any wonder Kazuki rejected me? I've been an awful person. It's amazing I'm even still his friend."

"You're not an awful person," Toi replied. "Kazuki doesn't believe you are either. Why would he still be friends with you if you were? I know it hurts, it must be disappointing. That... that he doesn't return your feelings, I mean. I'm sure he feels bad too. But you don't need to beat yourself up over this."

"He's—He's so good and amazing... he deserves better than me anyway." Enta shook. "Anyone can do better than me, really. Isn't that why I've always been alone?"


"It's a sign, isn't it? I've always been bad. I've always been wrong. I always have these feelings balled up inside me and then they explode and I hurt everyone. I want to be good, so good. But I get jealous and I blow up and I get caught and everything gets so much worse!"

"Enta, stop it!"

"It's true, isn't it? You know it better than anyone! Better than I know myself! You don't need to hide it anymore, Kuji. Just go ahead and tell me I'm rotten."


"Just get it over with! I can't stand it anymore!" Ugly tears streaked down Enta's face. "I can't live another day knowing I'm hurting you and Kazuki and you both just humoring me and—!"

Toi grabbed the back of Enta's shirt, using his other hand to yank his tie. Enta's tirade bubbled into silence as his lips were sealed by Toi's. Toi, who had... Toi whom he hadn't trusted at first, back when they were kids. Toi whom he had been certain was suspicious of him too. Toi who had become his first friend his own age after Kazuki. Toi whom he had dearly missed when he went to juvie and visited him as much as he could with Kazuki. Toi... who loved him all along.

Once they had parted, Enta removed his glasses and wiped his eyes. Damn, he could probably use a tissue too.

"...You jerk." Enta sniffled with a smile.

"Please don't talk about yourself like that." Toi blushed. "I... It hurts me when you do that. You don't deserve that."

"So you're saying that I... deserve you?"

"W-Well... I..."

"Kiss me again?" Enta encouraged.

"...Sure." Toi smiled back.