Harry was anxious. He was trembling. What did I do? Was the question that haunted his mind, together with the dreadful images of Draco after the hex. Harry was standing still in the empty dark hallway. It was almost curfew, but he didn’t realise it because his mind was limp, just like his body. His eyes were blank, opened wide, no sparkle, only confusion and painful clouds. He was trembling, shivering, feeling cold and … very suddenly Harry starts running. He needed to run away! Run away… from his tainted spirit and hands…. Harry was running unconsciously out of the castle. It was strange that no prefect caught him in that late hour, but this maybe was destiny’s punishment. It was raining outside. It was cold heavy rain, but when the water droplets touched Harry’s face skin, they felt like burning fire. Harry kept running towards the lake. He was panting and had forgotten what breathing was. He stopped at the edge of the land, where the lake’s water licked the wet soil and grass.
- I didn’t want to do it! – Harry screamed with his eyes shut tightly. – I DIDN’T!
A large lightning crossed the sky. Harry felt like the sky unleashed his anger, but the heavy rain couldn’t wash his sinful hands that held out the wand during the hexing. Harry screamed in pain again and fell with his knees in the mud. He lowered his head and let the rain whip his neck. His mind was filled with flashbacks of blood. Harry saw a sharp stone. He took it over his palm. It was cold. Harry was going insane. His eyes opened wide and another lightning crossed the stormy night sky. Slowly, Harry took the stone and rubbed the sharp side with his other palm. Firstly, it happened nothing, but Harry added more pressure and caused a small slice of his skin. Harry winced at the beginning, but after the red liquid came out of his palm, Harry smiled. A crazy like smile! He was revenging on his own self. He felt a pleasure as he felt the sharp stone against his already wounded skin.
- Draco! – Harry whispered as he closed his eyes in pain from that dreadful memory.
After two days, Draco returned to attend his classes again. All the day, he couldn’t miss the fact, that Harry was looking awful. He was pale, no smile, no light in his eyes, and bags below his eyes that showed he was not sleeping.
Draco was going to fresh his mind outside. It was late actually, but he was a prefect, so curfew was not a problem for him. Something was pulling Draco toward the lake shore. He didn’t know why, but he felt that something was going to happen that night at the lake. Draco was walking with fast steps. At the edge of the shore, he saw a student. It was Harry! He was sit there with his arms full of blood streams, his eyes blank, and watching the lake.
- Potter?! – called Draco when approached at Harry.
Harry jumped in shock. In his hand he was holding his wand, and he was shivering. Harry was shirtless. In his chest were some blood streams too.
- Potter…. What are you doing?!
- Malfoy…- Harry whispered trying to hide the wounds he caused to himself. – I…
- It looks like you have gone insane! Are you a wounding maniac or what?
- No! I swear I didn’t want to do that to you! I swear I have never wanted to cause hurt to you... never!
- Never?! Are you sure Potter?
Harry wanted to keep on hiding his feelings, but he was tired mentally and physically, so he just put an end of all that mask.
- Malfoy I have feelings towards you!- it was sounded more like a scream rather than an expressing sentence.
- Yeah it’s obvious, pure hatred straight from your heart….
- I LOVE YOU DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY! – this time it was a shout from Harry’s lungs with all of his left strength.
Draco was shocked.
- What?! – asked Draco with his eyes opened wide.
- I love you… - Harry felt powerless and fell to his knees.
- Potter! – Draco ran to catch him before Harry falls into the lake.
But Harry refused. He stretched his arm in sign to stop Draco.
- No Draco! Don’t come near me! I…am a dangerous creature!
Harry stood up with difficulty, Put his wand over the ground and then faced Draco with a soft smile full of pain, sadness and said:
- Trust me Draco! I have never ever wanted to hurt you! I have failed to even hate you when you pranked me or my friends. I tried to push those feelings away, but trust me, I failed.
- Potter!- Draco was trying to slowly approach at Harry who was unaware of this. – I… didn’t know…
- Of course you couldn’t! All I could do to express my affection to you was by rejecting you in the first year, saying you to “shut up!”, laughing at you when you felt bad, and finally this… This …
- You loved me since in the first year?!
- No. Since the first meeting, at Madam Malkin’s.
Draco remained shocked.
- But… you looked like…
- Like I didn’t like you? I came from an abusing family. All I knew was that I needed to pretend I didn’t exist. How was I supposed to show such a tremendous feeling openly? I wasn’t even clear with my self what was happening to me. It’s not your fault either, for being so perfect. You … were in my mind and heart in every pulse of my veins, in every heartbeat, and in every breath. I was happy to hear your voice even when you played pranks, your smirk was the happiest smile in the world. I …
- Harry why didn’t you notice my feelings then?!- Draco cut Harry off.
Harry just heard his name from Draco’s lips… a real melody.
- What…- whispered Harry.
- Yes Harry! I was in love with you since the first meeting too! Can you imagine what I had to endure because of your rejection?! All the pranks and offenses I made to you, were a way how I expressed how much you hurt me Harry!
Now Draco was very close to Harry. Harry was shocked. Draco has been in love with him all this time?! Harry had lost some blood from the cuts he made to himself. Harry lost balance and was going to fall back. Draco was there and caught him. Harry pushed him even this time.
- Draco, I… I have caused only pain to you. – Harry straightened his back as he stood tall in front of Draco. – Come on: revenge upon me. Spill over me all the hurt I caused to you.
But Draco was busy looking at the scars that Harry did to his arms and chest.
- Seriously Harry: what were you doing?
- I… wanted to punish myself for what I did to you, even though it’s not enough, it felt … good… painfully enough …
- You idiot!- Draco gritted his teeth.
Harry approached at Draco. Opened his shirt and stares at Draco’s scarred flash. Harry’s eyes watered and he was losing the balance again. Draco held him still from the shoulders. This time Harry didn’t refuse. He lowered his head in pain and deep regret. Harry started to kiss the scars one by one. They felt like a burning fire melted with a guilty pleasurable pain. Draco closed his eyes and bent his head forward, letting his blonde locks fell before his face and his lips met Harry’s dark haired head.
- Harry it’s over now! We can forget our past and be together now!
- We cannot Draco! Our past has scarred our future!
- Well, those are scars that made us stronger and ties us together, you know.
Harry stopped the kissing of the scars and rose his head to lock his eyes with Draco’s.
- Draco… I promise… - Harry cups Draco’s face with his hands. – I will scar our future with happy moments. Those scars will be forgotten, and the new happy ones will substitute them. I will protect you like the thorns protect the purest rose! I will love you forever and never ever allow myself or anyone else to hurt you! You perfect creation!