honestly i was just trying to go for a drive. work had been hell. i came home and my dad yelled at me for being worthless for a solid 20 minutes.
i needed to drive around and cry, because i can’t cry at home. i can’t cry in front of nancy or robin or jonathan or any of the kids. they don’t know my problems and i intend to keep it that way. i’m almighty king steve after all. i’m not allowed to have feelings or problems.
but the more i thought about as i sat outside the abandoned steel works factory the more i realized my dad was right. i had started smoking cigarettes, been drinking and getting high way too much. i couldn’t even get into a fucking technical college. i was indeed the most worthless teen in all of hawkins.
i had cried every last tear, i was exhausted, leaned back the seat of my beemer when i heard footsteps.
“you shouldn’t have come here.” i hear a voice say. it’s dark and it’s deep but…it’s billy hargrove?
i get out of the car, “billy…?”
he steps into the headlights of my car and his hair is curled to perfection. he had a black scar on his cheek and another on his forehead.
“jesus. what got you?” i ask, throwing my cigarette down and stomping on it.
he chuckles and it’s like it’s coming from the depths of hell, “nothing’s gotten to me.”
i shutter a little and i’m staring to regret getting out of the car, “uh, yeah. somethin’ has fucked you over good.”
“hmm, perhaps.” he starts walking over to me and wraps his hand tight around my throat.
i cough and gasp, “b-billy, billy stop.”
his grip just gets tighter, “i don’t know who billy is.” he laughs and his eyes get dark.
i grip his wrist, trying to fight back then he hits me over the head and everything goes dark.
i wake up on the ground, my back to a pole, with my hands tied tightly behind it.
i look around and my left eye is swollen shut. i hear footsteps again, billy’s boots on the metal ground.
fuck me, fuck me . i’m gonna die. because once i remembered the look in his eyes it was like will last fall. the mind flayer was back and he was in billy hargrove.
“ah, you’re awake.” billy leans down in front of me. “good. i had to do some convincing, he wants to kill you, but i think keeping you alive for a little longer would be fun. don’t you think?”
“sure.” i groan and try to move my hands. he slaps me so hard it feels like he gave me whiplash.
“no. moving.” he snaps. he doesn’t sound human. this is so much worse than the shadow monster.
“ honestly, i’d be fine if you killed me now. i don’t have much to live for at the moment.” i laugh a little and billy looks at me confused.
“yeah. go ahead. nobody would miss me.” i wasn’t fully lying but i also wasn’t really telling the truth. even though half the time nobody shows it, people would miss me.
billy just gets up and walks away, disappearing into the darkness.
i sigh and stare at the nothingness in front of me. i hear his camero start up, but he doesn’t drive away. after a few minutes the car engine turns off and he walks back inside.
i keep trying to wiggle out of the ropes, thinking he’s not in the room. but oh he is. he is, and he kicks me in the stomach.
i double over in pain and the wind is knocked right out of me.
“are you fucking deaf? i said don’t fucking move.” he growls like a fucking demon.
i try to talk but i can’t catch my breath and i can’t form words.
he grips my jaw tightly, “well are you?”
“ no .” i painfully breathe out.
“good.” he smirks in the dim light.
i finally catch my breath and i taste blood in my mouth. really hope he didn’t just cause internal bleeding by kicking me.
“billy…i know this isn’t you.” i say as he gets up and starts to walk away. “you’re billy hargrove, you have a step sister named max. i’m steve harrington, remember? the douchebag, y’know king steve? you drive this sick ass blue camero, you beat me up one night. like, real bad.”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
he sneers and disappears again.
i wanted him to come back because even though i hated to admit it, the way he was holding my jaw and making me look at him was hot as fuck .
okay so yeah. yeah, maybe i had a thing for billy. him with his stupid curly hair. his stupid blue eyes and california sun kissed skin.
and i could tell, even with his harden demeanor and heartless stare, something was there. he was hurting. whenever we had to play basketball, i would notice new cuts, new bruises. i asked him about a particularly concerning one on his side in the showers after practice. he said it was a fight at a party, but it was a wednesday and no one throws parties on a tuesday night. see, i had always been just a little scared of hargrove and his jacked up body. i never knew what to say around him, or if i even could say anything. he was fucking impossible to read.
every single moment i had a chance to talk to him, the air between us always felt like glass. i could never pick the right words and if i did it never felt right.
that one day that he looked at me in the shower, calling me pretty boy. i didn’t have a single fucking clue as to what he was hinting at. did he really think i was pretty?
robin would always make sure it was my shift whenever billy showed up. she literally got his schedule down, when his days off were, when he got off and when his breaks were. he got vanilla and caramel with three cherries. every. single. time. he would sit at the table closest to the counter, sometimes bringing heather with him. robin also got her schedule down. heather got something different almost every time, but robin was always happy to make whatever the pretty lifeguard wanted.
robin insisted she didn’t have a thing for heather, but she so did.
man, i wish robin was here. i wish el would come bursting in with the party and save me from this hellhole. surely, suspicion would rise if i didn’t show up to work tomorrow.
but i don’t think robin liked me that much. i think she would be very happy to finally have some time alone.
i try not to cry again, try not to move and try to resist anymore. this was it, this was the end and i just had to come to terms with it.
i hear billy’s car drive away, so i drift off to sleep.
- next day, robin-
dustin a nd the kids were standing at the counter of scoops, ordering their regulars.
“ugh, it’s freaking 12:30. have you guys seen steve?” i ask as i hand them their cones.
“nope. his car wasn’t at his house.” mike says.
“maybe he went over to heather’s house or something. they’ve been talking a lot lately.” dustin takes a bite of his banana sundae.
“but wouldn’t he tell you first? and he doesn’t like heather, i can bet you five dollars.”
“why, do you?”
“none of your business. anyways, it’s not normal for him to be late, surprisingly.”
luckily, really luckily, tammy walks in looking adorable as ever in her adorable little sailor uniform.
“steve isn’t here? that’s weird.” she walks behind the counter, “have you called him?”
“yeah, he didn’t answer. i guess he could be sick…i don’t know, i’m worried…he seemed really out of sorts yesterday.”
“what do you mean?” will asks.
“he seemed depressed, honestly…he wasn’t joking about anything, wasn’t trying to flirt with any girls. he seemed a million miles away.”
tammy frowns, “go look for him, robin. it’s a slow day today, i’ll be okay.”
“you sure?” i ask, trying not to stutter because of how anxious her pretty face is making me.
“i’m absolutely positive.” she smiles.
“you’re a life saver.” i grin and take my car keys, and the kids follow. “god you guys are like ducklings.”
“yeah well we care about steve too.” mike gets in the back of my hippie van, el attached to his side. the rest get in and dustin gets in the passenger side.
“so, we start with the wheeler’s. maybe he went to see nancy.”
i nod and drive to their house. nancy is outside with jonathan about to get in her car.
i stick my head out the window, “hey, nance, have you seen steve?”
she walks up to my car, “no, i haven’t, is something wrong?”
“he didn’t show up to work, and he seemed really off yesterday. like, depressed.”
“oh my god…i don’t know. he hasn’t talked to me in weeks, actually. i would check his house…”
mike peaks out from in between the seats, “his car wasn’t in his driveway this morning when mom drove me to the mall.”
she sighs, “he used to take drives around town…i would look everywhere…please keep me updated...”
i nod, “of course. don’t worry, i’m sure he’s around somewhere.” i smile and she smiles weakly back.
i drive off towards town and try to hold back the tears in my eyes.
i slowly wake up, squinting at the sunlight coming through the broken windows.
i sit up a little and wince at the stabbing pain in my stomach. my throat is killing me, i can barely swallow without being in pain. my shoulders ache, my arms ache, everything aches. i can’t even hold my head up. my memory was hazy and my eyesight was blurry.
billy walks in, hands covered in blood. i had to think of something, someone that would snap him out of this.
he wipes his hands off with an already bloodied towel, “nice to see you’re awake.”
“wish i wasn’t.” i whisper, unable to talk any louder than that.
he walks over to me then leans down, “hm? couldn’t quite hear you.”
i try to say it louder, “wish. i. wasn’t.”
he slaps me hard, “i could arrange that.”
“please do. just put me out of my misery.” i mumble.
billy is silent. he gets up and walks away.
i lean my head back against the pole and groan in pain. billy grabs a cloth and a bottle. yep, this was it.
“billy…” i breathe out. “you’re billy hargrove.”
this wasn’t going to work i knew it, but i was gonna try.
“you’re from california…san diego. you love surfing, it’s something that not a lot of people know about you. you have a sister, her name is max. she likes to skate. you…” i cough and wince at the strain in my throat as i talk, “you…you know me, i’m steve harrington.”
he puts whatever chemical it is on the cloth. he doesn’t show signs of stopping. my heart is beating in my ears, i thought i was gonna throw up.
he walks towards me, leaning in front of me. there are black veins on his face and arms, he looks terrifying . hot, but terrifying.
i look into his eyes, “billy, i know you’re in there. please, i know you’re there.” i’m able to lean forward and put my forehead to his, even though the pain shoots through my body like fire. “please billy…this isn’t you...i’m..i’m sorry, i’m sorry for treating you so badly. i’m so sorry your dad is a douchebag, mine is too. i’m sorry, i care about you and i’m sorry i never show it.” i whisper.
suddenly he has his hand tightly gripping my throat. he throws the cloth to the side and he presses his lips to mine, hard . it’s hungry and greedy. i take in every moment, kissing back, our teeth clacking together. his tongue is down my throat and i’m loving it, maybe just a little bit too much.
billy reaches around and unties me. i groan at the pain in my arms but he just puts them back behind me, just not around the pole. he shoves me to to the ground and tugs at my hair, “you’re mine.” he grunts, his voice deep and raspy.
my throat is on complete fire, i can barely talk, but he doesn’t seem to care. he’s still kissing me, it’s so messy and gross but i don’t care. his lips move down to my neck as he leave dark hickeys that i’m sure will bleed. i cant even whimper or make a single nose, but i think that’s what he wanted.
and yeah, maybe i felt a little slutty letting billy, this possessed billy, practically use me as his, but who would complain? it’s billy hargrove for crying out loud.
i hear a car roll up and someone calling my name. billy covers my mouth tightly and whispers harshly into my ear, “stay. silent.”
i nod rapidly and stay completely still and quiet.
“steveee!” i hear robin call out. her voice sounds like she’s been crying, “steve please! please be here!”
he moves his hand away and i instantly lean up to kiss him. he kisses back, but this time it’s not as so hard, it’s soft. he unties me and i instantly put my hands on his face.
“steve, are you here?!” robin calls out.
“you can go to her.” billy whispers.
“no.” i whisper back, “how funny would be if they found us like this?”
and billy smiles. it’s him, not that monster. it’s him and he’s smiling down on me.
“i would die.” he whispers. “i mean, i already feel like i’m dead, but like. i don’t know.”
i cant help but laugh. he sits up, pulling me with him.
“steve, i literally don’t know what’s going on.” he starts laughing with me. i hear robin and the party’s footsteps running towards us.
“me neither, but i do know that i love kissing you.” i giggle and kiss him.
he kisses back, lovingly and sweet.
“steve are yo-oh my god!!” max screeches.
we pull away and start cackling.
“they were kissing!!” max shouts as robin and the rest of them come up.
billy rests head on my shoulder as we’re laughing so fucking hard we can’t breathe.
“steve harrington!” robin shouts through her tears.
i sniff and giggle, “whaaat?”
“what the fuck is wrong with you?!”
i notice that billy isn’t laughing anymore, he’s crying.
“hey, hey, billy it’s okay.” i pull him into my arms and holds him to my chest.
“billy?” max leans down and puts her hand on his back.
he sobs quietly, “t-t-there was a-a shadow…
a-and it p-pulled me down s-somewhere. i-i don’t remember a-anything after that.”
will steps up and sits beside max, “did…did he make you do stuff?”
“w-well i just b-beat the s-shit out of s-steve.”
“it’s okay, billy i know it wasn’t you.” i gently kiss his forehead and he smiles, just a little.
“you liked when i-i choked you though.”
“ewwwwwwwwww!” the kids all whine in unison.
i chuckle, “yeah, maybe i did.”
but that was six months ago. it was december now and i’m sitting on my couch, billy in my arms. the kids are on the floor and robin is holding heather in her arms on the loveseat. we’re all laughing at a christmas story and the snow is falling outside.
and there had been plenty of kisses, plenty of cuddles and plenty of nights when one of us wakes up crying, but it was getting better. life was getting better and i couldn’t be happier having billy getting better with me.