Pidge was a pretty tomboyish nerd with a beautiful singing voice that made boys' hearts melt, but one day she fainted during a rehearsal and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"You have the same soap opera disease that's killing your pretty friend Keith," said the doctor.
"I'm dying cause Shiro won't love me," Keith said as he coughed prettily.
"Lance won't love me," said Pidge. Just then the doctor came in and said he'd found a cure.
"Unfortunately it means we have to sacrifice two lives, and so far we only have one."
"Hi, Pidge, I'm going to become quintessence to save your life because you understand Lance so much more than a spoiled princess like me," Allura said.
"But what about Keith?" said Pidge, coughing sadly. The doctor thought long and hard for a minute.
"Sure, let's kill whatshisname, he's not even a human being and no one will ever notice he's gone," said Allura as she sacrificed herself very prettily. Suddenly, across town, Shiro realized he hated Curtis and threw him in a volcano, curing Keith instantly.
Then Keith and Shiro and Lance and Pidge all got married in a fancy double wedding and lives happily ever after, each with two kids and nothing bad ever happened again. And if it did they just blamed Curtis's ghost. Seriously, fuck Citrus.