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The Black sheep

Chapter Text








You ready to read?”


I wiggle around a little bit more until I have my head sat against Cas’s chest,

And my hands balled into his shirt.


I hear Cas chuckle before a light Kiss is pressed onto the top of my head.


“Okay than.

Once There was a little sheriff.”

 Dean's Pov

Another month passes-


The sun glistened high and projected it's hot smoldering rays onto the reflective surface of the living room windows,

Causing the entirety of the living room to heat up like an easy bake oven.


The constant pulsing of the air conditioner alongside the continuous flow of several small fans helped to temper the heat.

But even than the usually cool house toed the line of uncomfortable.



It was supposed to rain later so the high temperature would drop to a more bearable one.


Because of the heat Cas decided it would be best to have a lazy morning,

One that consisted of lying on the couch,

And watching an ocean documentary.


Which is what we were doing now.


I shuffled my head slightly to the left,

Moving it up Cas's toned thighs,

As I watched a whale jump out of the water

Before landing gracefully back into it.


Cas's hand froze in my hair as I shuffled,

 Before continuing to pet through the recently trimmed locks again.


Despite the sounds around us,

We laid in a quiet comfortable bubble,

And it was because of this,

that I was afraid to speak my mind

In fear of popping this bubble of comfort we nestled ourselves into.


But thankfully for me I didn't have to be the one to pop the bubble.



 Cas says in a soft timid voice,

His hand ceasing its movement in my hair,

But not pulling away.


"What's wrong Dean?"


I couldn't get myself to look away from the blue whale on screen and toward the blue ocean that was Cas's eyes.


Cas's hand starts to move through my hair once again,

Threading lightly through the short strains.


 Grounding me.


I feel both relief and fear in the fact that Castiel was able to pick up on my mood so quickly.


Relief in the sense that my body melts like goo against Cas's larger frame.


Fear in the sense that I still couldn't speak.


I shift sideways,

 So I can get a better look at Cas’s face.


 But even with Cas’s baby blues settling my uneasy mind,


I still couldn't find the courage to speak.


What if he got upset at me?


What if he thought I was taking advantage of him?


What if.


What if.


What if.


Cas sighs,

Eyes locked on mine as if he was reading every one of my negative thoughts.


I shift my gaze away,

Anxious for what he might have seen floating in my mind.


But Cas was having none of that,


He says in his stern “No funny business voice.”

Before his tanned palm reaches out and grasps my chin lightly,

Pulling my gaze back toward his face.


Like the tide to the ocean.



He repeats softer this time.

His thumb coming up to lightly trace over my bottom lip.


Causing me to let out a surprised huff of breath,

That Cas ignores .


 “What's wrong?”


I try to swallow around the lump in my throat,

Feeling trapped both physically and mentally.


But I know Cas doesn't mean it that way.

He doesn't intend to trap me with tanned palms and blue eyes.


Cas stays silent,

Eyes watching,

While his thumb tracing patterns on my lip.


He intends to be grounding. 

Like a Boulder to lean on,

Not a rock to trip on.


I close my eyes,

Letting out a puff of hot breath,

Before inhaling again.


Out with the anxiety 

In with the purity. 


I reopened my eyes and speak my mind before I change it.


"I miss Sammy."


Castiel's face immediately softens. 

His thumb slipping slightly down my lip.


I take that as encouragement

And continue to speak.


"N Bobby,

 N Joe,

N Charlie."


My words slur slightly,

From the way Cas was tugging at my bottom lip.


Noticing this Cas drops his thumb,

And instead runs his hand down the side of my face.

Cradling it lightly. 


"What do you want to ask me Dean?"


I lean further into Cas's palm,

My baby smooth check nuzzling it slightly.


Damn Cas's intuition.


"I want to-"


I flutter my eyes closed,

Exhaling lightly,

As I let the weight of Cas's palm ground my mind. 


"Invite everyone to a cookout.



I cut myself off,

Biting my lip,

And shifting my eyes.



Cas cups my check in his palm,

Fingers lightly tracing the bottom of my hairline . 


I let go of my lip with a snap.

Before my mouth starts running faster than my brain can catch up.


"This is your house Cas.

 I didn't want to just invite people without your permission and there's so much that goes into a cookout,

I mean,

I can't really man the grill that well anymore and-"


"Well lucky for us, 

I love to cook."


My mouth slams shut,

Head tilting out of Cas's open palm,

As I stare at him with wide watery eyes 

And pinkend checks.


I shuffle forward slightly,

My bare knee bumping into his clothed one.


"You mean..?"

I tilt my head forward as I speak.


Cas smiles a soft eye crinkling smile,

Before bumping his knee back against my own. 



What is the point of having a big backyard,

 When you have no one to share it with?"


I let out a high pitched whistle noise.


That was in no way a sequel.


Before tackling Cas against the pale couch cushions,

Causing him to grunt and grip my arms for support.


“Thank you!”

 Thank you so much Cas!

 You have no idea what this means to me.”


I say in between innocent kisses to Cas’s stubbly cheek.


“I gotta go call Sammy!!!!

 He is gonna freak out!!!”


I go to flip off onto the floor before pausing,

And turning back towards the disgruntled man on the couch for one last kiss on the check,

Which earns me a small smile.


I than egg roll off the couch,

Onto the floor,

And stumble onto my feet

Before bolting toward the guest room for my phone.


My sweaty feet smack loudly against the hardwood,

As I pant and bound down the hall.


I hear Cas shuffle quickly on the Couch before he yells,


“No running in the house Dean!”


The sound of his voice echoes down the hall,

And causes me to giggle as I continue to run.

Chapter Text



I yell breathlessly into the phone as my body barrels on top of my blue covers,

My hands quickly going to grab my bee as I wiggle around and get comfortable.


"Oh my god Dean?!"

Sam's voice booms over the line shock and excitement coloring it.


"How are you?

 How is everything?

Is Cas treating you alright?

What about your limbo is it gone?

Are you eating well?

What are you eating are-"


I cut off Sam's rant with a breathy giggle,

Shaking my head and rolling my eyes before saying.





There Sammy calm down I can only answer so many questions at once."


I hear Sam give a sheepish laugh on the other side,

My fingernails pick at bees wings as Sam says,


"Sorry Dean,


I just missed you is all."


A large smile splits across my tan freckled face,

My shoulders scrunching,

And legs kicking at the messy blue covers.


"Ah shucks Sammy,

You get me all tingly when you say that."


Sam scuffs on the other side,

The sound echoing,

"Ew gross man."


I laugh lightly,

My head leaning back as I do.



Not sorry Sammy."


I say as I roll over to my back,

With bee now laying on my stomach as I look up at the comic style Batman poster looming over my bed.


"But to answer your questions Samantha.

I'm fine,

And no-

Not like before like really fine.

Everything here is going surprisingly well,

Cas is a perfect gentlemen.

And well just kinda perfect."


I murmur the last part to myself,

Using bees crinkling wings to disguise my shy tone.


"My limbo is good,

All gone now Cas says.

He made me go to a little doctor to see if it was in fact all gone.

And while I did not like that office at all,

I mean cotton candy colored walls really?

Talk about tacky."


I throw my arms out as I speak,

Causing bee to fly around,

His body following my movements.


"But the doctor wasn't too bad,

Doctor Hannah I think her name was-"


I shook my head away from the distracting thoughts of how friendly her and Cas seemed.


"Anyway she said I was good to go,

All cured up and everything."


My eyes shifted from my new batman poster down to my orange, blue, green and white cowboy rug.


"And well as far as food goes,

Cas is a great cook.

Though I don't get pie

And pizza as much as I want,

It's still good.

Except for the kale,

I hate it,

It's like spenich's lonely depressed cousin."


Sam cackeld at this,

No doubt leaning forward into the laugh as his long hair falls down to frame his face.


"God bless kale."


He says in between laughs,

Causing me to snort and almost roll off the bed at the mention of one of Sam's lowest moments as a kid.


And trust me the kid had plenty.


Once our laughter died down,

Sam spoke again this time his voice held a soft edge to it.


"I Know I don't say this often Dean,

But I'm really proud of you.

And I'm happy that you have finally found that slice of apple pie,

You have been dreaming off our whole lives."


The line goes silent as I blush,

And stumble around for words,

My eyes criss crossing from my sandy side table, to my small flat screen and back down to my chipped nails.




I clear my throat,

Before I decide to sit up,

And cross my legs,

Settling bee down in between them.


I may have made a lot of progress.

But taking emotional compliments like that is still hard for me.


"Anyway the reason why I'm calling you is because Cas agreed to let me invite everyone for a cookout today.

And I mean, 

I know it's hot as hell outside,



"Of course Dean,

Bobby and I would love to come to the cookout.

Well I would,

I will just have to lure Bobby outside with a cold beer and an hand held fan."


I bite back a laugh,

As my face splits into another wide cheek aching grin,

One that only Sam has ever been able to pull out of me.


Well and Cas on occasions.




I reply,

Nearly jumping up and down on the bed in excitement.


"I don't know what time Cas would want everyone to be here but-"


My next words were cut off by the man himself,

Slowly creaking my door open.


“Hey Dean,

I'm about to go to the store for the cookout supplies,

Do you want to go to the store with me?”


Cas asks as he leans casually against the frame of my door,

His crisp white shirt,

And dark blue track pants a large contrast to what he normally wears.


But he looks real good.


I shake my head.



I just wanna talk to Sammy and watch Netflix.”


If Sam notices the softer tone to my voice,

He doesn't comment on it.


Cas nods,

As he slowly pulls back from the door frame.



 Well can you ask Sam if he minds coming over to watch you while I go to the store?"


I immediately sit up straighter,

Posture going ridgid like a scared animal.


"I don't need a sitter Cas!

I will be fine for 30 minutes without you-"


Sam cuts off my rant,

"I'll do it.

On my way now

Be there in 5."


I look down at the phone in disbelief,


Sam no!



I growl out in frustration as Sam ends the call,

Starting down at the phone like it killed my family.


“What time will Sam be here?

 Cas asks in a causal tone.


I shot him a glare,

That looks more like a pissed off kitten than anything.


Cas only smiles in return,

His blue eyes narrowing in faux innocence.


“5 minutes.”


I say before throwing my phone down onto the pillow next to me,

As my green eyes watch Cas make his way across the colorful cowboy rug,

And to the front of the rumbled blue sheets,

Before slowly climbing up onto the bed next to me.


I want to roll my eyes and scuff in a show of my frustration toward him,

But all I can do is watch with wide eyes and tight lips,

As Cas prowls across the sheets,

Looking like a content lion swimming in the stream on a hot day.


I do in fact scuff though a moment later when Cas shots Me a slight wink before settling down next to me.


I turn my head away from him,

As I feel my face flush slightly,

As his leg presses against mine.


Damn Cas and his mixed signals.

If I didn't know any better I'd say Cas was flirting.


I shot Cas a quick look from underneath lush lashes.


But I do know better.


As a quick distraction from my spiraling thoughts,

I lean to my left and pick up the pillow that my phone was not on and Chuck it at Cas's smug face.



Cas grunts as the pillow makes contact,

Before sliding down his face revealing an unimpressed expression.



He says In a slightly accusing tone.


His blue eyes glare at me,

Like if I make another wrong move the ocean in his eyes will swallow me whole.


"I don't need a sitter Cas."


Cas sighs,

Almost like he had hoped I would drop the subject.



Cas shifts to face me.


"Honey bee."

He shoots me a much softer expression,

One that has the ability to melt my insides.


" You're two years old on your best day."


I roll my head to the left in hopes of hiding the slight blush in my cheeks.


"Not right now I'm not.

I'm twenty freaking two Cas."


I say in a voice that is not a whine.

My body rolling with my words as I speak.



Cas says in a warning tone,

Causing me to swallow the huff I so desperately wanted to let out.

Before deciding to sigh instead and flop myself backwards onto the sheets. 


"I don't need a sitter Cassss."

I roll my head back to look at him and shot him my best puppy dog eyes.


Which should be really freaking good considering I grew up with Sam.


But of course Cas only smiles down at me,

Edges soft and teasing,

As his hand ruffles through my hair,

Messing up the strands and making me look like a frazzled baby chick.


"He's your brother Dee,

 it's his job."


I roll my eyes,

And open my mouth to reply,

but before I have the chance to there is a knock on the door.


My head perks up at the sound,

Like an over eager puppy,

Before I scramble off the bed and make a run for the door.


I hear Cas sigh loudly before he says,

"I really need to put up safety rails."


I ignore him and instead slip and slide my way down the hallway,

With my uncoordinated limbs,

Before sliding again and nearly body slamming into the front door.


I catch myself though just in time,

And quickly open the door,

Completely not caring what I look like in the present moment.



I squeal as I make eye contact with the overly tall lanky teen,

Before rushing forward and hugging Sam around his slim middle.


Sam laughs as I rumble his red plaid shirt in my hands,

Before sliding his long arms around my narrow shoulders.


"Wow there Dean."

He says teasingly,

Laying his messy mob of a head on top of my own.


"It's only been 2 months not 2 years."


"Too long Sammy."

I say with a mouth full of plaid.


Sam chuckles before patting me roughly on the back,



He says as we both decide to pull back,

And close the door so all the cool air doesn't escape.


Once Sam is fully inside the house,

 I take that moment to look him over.


Sam’s long skinny legs are clad in a pair of black basketball shorts due to the heat,

His overly sized clown feet are covered in a pair of knock off red nikes,

While his lean torso is covered by red plaid.


He’s growing up.


“You look good.”

I say right before my eyes trail up his face to look at his hair.




“Except for the hair.”

I gesture toward his mangy lion main.


“ I could cut it for you if you want.”


“There will be no hair cutting.”

Cas says Sternly as he appears from the hallway to the left of us.



Cas says with a small smile on his face,

And a tilt of his head.



Sam smiles back,

And nods in return.


“Please come in.”

Cas says while gesturing toward his massive open living room,

Before leading Sam and I toward the couch.


Sam shoots me a wide eyed look as he mouths,

“What the hell.”


I nod eagerly,

 Before mouthing back,

“I know right.”



Cas says as he turns back to face Sam who quickly fixes his facial expression and straightens his posture.


I swallow a laugh.


 “I'll only be gone for about twenty minutes.

 No minute longer.

But in case of an emergency.”


Sam and I both watch as Cas pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pants pocket.


“Here is a list of numbers you can call if you can't reach me,

 Which will be unlikely. 

But you never know.”


Cas shrugs as he hands Sam the list.

Sam takes it with a nod of his head,

Hair flopping in his face as he does.


I shot a glance over at the list,

Before rolling my eyes as the sight of the full page.


I shot Cas a look,

With raised eyebrows 

Set mouth 

And tilted head. 



It screams. 



Of course,

Ignores me.


"Also in case Dean goes little,



Cas makes a face,

His mouth twisting  

and shoulders shrugging 


" I doubt,

 Since he was last night.

But let me show you where his stuff is just in case."


Sam nods his head as he follows Cas down the hall and toward my room.


I stumble back,

Shake my head

And look at Cas with

Narrowed eyes

Furrowed eyebrows 

And a wide open mouth. 




Woah! "


I slip past Sam to walk beside Cas,

" Cas,

It's only twenty minutes."


I say voice pleading and arms flailing.


Cas shots me a blank look before stepping inside my bedroom,

I stand outside the door in disbelief 

As Sam shoulder's past me and smirks. 


Oh that tall bitch.


"So as you can see we already redecorated the room,

Dean requested that the room look


Normal on the outside

And little in the closet 

Because that's where he likes to keep his demons

End quote


All of his little stuff is now in here." 


I sigh loudly as I listen to my closet door sliding open,

 before trailing into my bedroom as well.


If you can't 

Bet em,

Join em.


I walk into the room just in time for Cas to open my dresser.


"This is where we keep all of his little clothes,

Most of them are hand made.

But the store bought ones are down at the bottom."


Sam hums in acknowledgement as he sends me a teasing smile.


I groan in embarrassment.


Cas turns to raise an eyebrow at me,

While he closes my drawer.


I send him a heated glare,

"This is a little overkill don't you think."


Cas looks away from me and instead toward my toy chest. 


"No not really,

 Since anything can happen Dean."


I immediately let out a high pitched whine,

One that I normally only do in little space.


Cas looks at me with a softer expression,

While Sam looks startled.


Cas sighs softly before closing the closet door with as hiss.


"But I can tell you're embarrassed,

 So I'll stop."


"Oh thank god!"

I rejoiced.


Cas moves past me to get to the hallway 


He scolds before lightly flicking my shoulder. 


I hiss in pain, 

My eyes turning back to Sam who looks as smug as a cat with milk.


I glare at him before stomping out of the room,

And making my way back to Cas who was already at the door.


Cas shot me a small apologetic smile, 

Before grabbing his keys.


"Got the list."

 He asks Sam who just walked back into the room.


Sam holds it up,

With a nod.


"Yes sir."


Cas and I both look at Sam Surprised,

Before Cas smiles and turns back to face me.




I give an exasperated sigh,

My shoulders slumping and face dropping.


"Be good."

Cas says before he leans in and gives me a fatherly kiss on the head.


I roll my eyes but lean into the kiss,

Allowing myself to bask in it for a few seconds,

Before I reluctantly pull away.



I say gently before giving Cas a light shove toward the door,

Cas allows himself to be moved,

Tanned hand gripping the door knob loosely,

And opens the door.


"20 minutes."

Cas says for the final time before he slams the door shut behind himself,

Like he just finished a Broadway number.


It goes dead silent in the house,

The only sounds to be heard where the fans.


Sam of course breaks the silence by chuckling.


I snap around,

And glare at him.


"Shut up."


Sam bites his lip to hold in his laughter, 

As he raises his hands up.


"I didn't say anything."

He says with a fake smile. 


I roll my eyes,

And whirl on my heel,

"You were thinking it."


Sam doesn't reply and instead follows me into the living room,

Where the ocean documentary from earlier is still playing. 


I plop down onto the couch in my spot,

 Which is the one right in the middle since Cas likes to sit near the edge.


"Make yourself at home."

I tell sam,

While slinging my bare feet onto the couch and curling up against a pillow.


Watching as Sam slowly sinks his way down onto the couch opposite me,

Only to fall back against the cushions at the last minute.


I snort as Sam struggles to sit back up,

Before sighing loudly and deciding to just lean back against the gray cushions.


I send Sam a smirk as he glares in return,

Hazel eyes narrowing,

Framed by a sea of auburn waves.


"Shut up."


I put my hands up,

Palms flat,

"I didn't say anything."


Sam rolls his eyes,


But you were thinking about it."

He says words sharp,

But his lips were fighting off a smile.


I shuffle around on the couch again,

Head leaning back against a gray pillow.




Any plans for the big one,



"My names not Samntha Dean,

And no not really."


Sam shrugs,

One long arm coming up to rest on the back of the couch.


"I think jo,




And I might go see a movie or something."


I set up a little in surprise.


"You still talk to ash?

And Kevin?

Man I haven't heard from him since…"


I trail off,

Not wanting to say the real reason out loud.


Sam clears his throat

Before re adjusting himself to sit up straighter.


"Yeah well Ash tested vanilla

And ever since then has been living the high life with no rules are regulations."


Sam's eyes are downcast,

Like he's lost in a train of thought.



We still talk on occasion.

And it would be nice to see a face other than Bobby's."


I huff out a laugh.


"Don't let Bobby hear you say that."


Sam hums,

Before looking down at his lap again,

His fingernails picking at a pillows stray seam.


"And Kevin you know,

He's a good guy."


Sam looks up for confirmation,

So I nod in agreement to that.


Kevin really is a good kid.




He shifts himself around so that his legs are now laying on the couch,

Red shoes hanging off.


"He can't help what he tests as you know?

I mean half the test is DNA

And the other is a psych eval.



Sam scratches his head,

A nervous tick off his.


Is talking about Kevin really that difficult for him?

Should I change the subject ?


Sam speaks again,

Breaking me out of my thoughts.


"I sent an invitation to his owner in hopes that,

He would let Kevin come to the party,

But I haven't heard anything so who knows-"



I lean forward completely now my chin resting on my propped up hands.


"You sent,



To Crowley.

Like the Crolwey.

King of the freaking douchebags.

The king of being one of the worst owners.

That Crowley?"


Sam sighs,

Moving his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear.


"Yeah well,

Crolwey is Kevin's owner Dean.

And with that type of group,

You have to ask the owner if you can see their pet.

Not the other way around."


A frown tugged at me lips,

  I almost forgot about how hard it was for some groups.



I uh,

That may have slipped my mind."


Sam nods,

"It's ok Dean.

It's easy to,


With your fancy house

And your nice room

And caring-"


Sam threw his hands up.



You have it made here."


I frown and looked down toward my lap,

My fingers trailing over the hand stitched honey bee that spirals up my short’s.



I do."


I smile softly.


"So uh,

If Crowley doesn't answer,

Kevin can't leave?"


Sam frowns,

Face dropping.


"No reply,

No Kevin."


I shake my head,

The corners of my mouth pulling down while the middle part puckers out.

My eyebrows fall down,

As I shake my head again.


"That's just not right Sammy.

If kevin-

Is there a way for him to leave?

Like if Crowley is treating him bad or-"



Sam cuts me off with a soft voice,

And sad smile.


"If Kevin really wanted out,

Than yes,

But only if it was proven by the government that Crolwey was breaking Owner contract."


Sam sighs,

Hand resting on the top of his head.


"But we can't forget that Kevin wanted to go to Dean.

He did his research on Crowley

And said that he wanted to go with him."


Sam shifts again.


"Crowley may be a hardass Dean,

But that's really how all owners are.

They are strict and demanding.

That's just them by nature."


My eyebrows dip in thought.


"Charlie isn't like that,

I mean she is a mistress,

But she is not too strict and Jo

She is kind to her and only punishes her when she really messes up."


Sam sighs,

Long legs shifting back onto the couch.


"Well that's a mistress Dean.

All groups are different."


Sam says gesturing with his slim fingers.


"Mistress are just a tamer version of doms.

Since a man can still be a mistress,

If their personality or DNA align with it."


I pursue my lips and nod in agreement.



I forgot about that too.


"Think about it this way Dean."


Sam says long body turning to face me,

Without sitting up.


“Vanilla's are rule free.

They can do what they please,

And they can marry who they want

And have kids

And a happy normal life.”


I wince at the word normal.



As we just talked about are a tamer version of Dom’s.

Even though Dom’s and Mistress's can both decide how they want to be,

Strict or sweet.”


I nod along.



Are the second strictest category.

They can be as rough and as strict as they want to be toward their pet,

Of course as long as the Pet wants it.”


My frown deepens.


“The first being…”


Sam swallows before nodding,



He says voice cracking slightly.


“The are the harshest people on this planet.

They are allowed to do whatever,

They want to there Sub-

As long as they talk boundaries,

Which even they have to do.”


Sam shifts again,

This time clearly uncomfortable.


“If they don’t find a compatible sub,

They can become murders,

Using all that anger and hatred,

And sending out toward the world.

Sometimes if the sub displeases them-”


Sam’s voice breaks off,

His hand coming out to run over his face.


“They die.”

His voice sounded so choked up,

That I was getting concerned that Sam was going to cry.


That's when it clicked.


Sam didn't get that emotional over the other groups.

He got emotional over Kevin,

But not this emotional.


I watched as Sam had both hands covering his face,

His hair moving with each deep breath he takes.


I never asked Sam which category he tested in.


My eyes widen in alarm,

My posture stiffening

And heart rate rocketing.

I wipe my now clammy hands onto my shorts,

And take in a short shaky breath.





I say trying to fake nonchalant,

And swallow down my worry.


"You know I never asked you what you got on your test."


Sam immediately straightens,

Hands un covering his flushed face

And mouth set in a thin line.


"I know."

Sam says voice tense,

Clearly too worked up to play it cool.


It goes awkwardly quiet in the room.

Sam and I both tense,

With the air around us so tight im afirad if I speak it will shatter like glass.



I ask quietly,

Green eyes meet red rimmed hazel ones.


"What did you get on it?"

I try again,

But Sam just sniffs

And shakes his head causing his hair to fly.


"Did you know that caregivers,

Are some of the nicest people in this world?

The government always paints them as these fallen angels,

And Before I meet Cas I thought it was bull.

You know."


I frown,

Oh Sammy.


"But now that I've met Castiel I can say with confidence that they really are just the nicest people.”


I stare at Sam with watery eyes,

And a broken heart.


Why didn't he tell me sooner.


"Sammy I-"


I was cut off by Cas walking back through the door,

"See I told you guys,

Look at that 20 minutes on the dot."


Sam jumps up from the couch,

" Hey Cas,

That looks like a lot of groceries to carry,

Here let me help you with that."




Cas says as he watches Sam pluck some of the bags from his hands,

Before rushing into the open kitchen to set them down.



Cas shoots me a worried look,

But I just frown and shake my head.



I mouth.


Cas sighs and looks toward the kitchen,

Before turning back to face me.



Why don't you come help me get the fruit platter set up,

While Sam Calls our guests."


Sam looks relieved,

As he gently places all the groceries on top of the marble counter.


"That's a good idea Cas,

I'll just go into the hallway and call everyone."


And just like that Sam vanishes from the room.

The only trace of proof that he was here at all,

Is the descending sound of his footsteps.


"Thanks Cas."


Cas only smiles at me in return,

"Of course bee."


He reaches down with one tan arm and gently pulls me up off the sofa.


"Just let me know if there is anything I can do to help."


Cas and I were close now,

His arm still gripping mine,

Shoulders touching,

Legs almost intertwined

And faces mere inches apart.


I look from Cas's ocean eyes

And down toward his pale pink lips.


"Of course Cas."

My voice is a hushed whisper,

One that puffs out breath onto Cas's own lips.



My eyes are locked on Cas's lips

Before I pull away completely.


"Come on Cassie,

Let's go make that fruit platter."

Chapter Text

The kitchen was almost entirely silent, except for the sound of chopping fruit, and shuffling feet.


It was nice though,

The quiet.

The simple routine Cas and I found ourselves in.


I watched as Cas carefully chopped up another pineapple,

His long tanned fingers holding the white kitchen knife with skill and ease,

As he diced the pineapple into bite size pieces,

Before carefully sliding the pieces toward me with the tip of the knife.


Our eyes lock,

Blue analyzing green.


I break eye contact first,

My eyes darting down to the small yellow fruit,

Before I carefully pick it up,

Piece by piece and place it neatly onto the clear plate.


Section by section we did this,

Cas chopped the fruit,

He slide the fruit with the knife,

We locked eyes,

I slide the fruit,

Pick it up,

And place it down piece by piece.


It was nice,




If you asked me how long we stood there chopping and organizing fruit,

I couldn't tell you.


My mind was too busy trying to focus on the fruit,

And not Cas's unnaturally beautiful side profile.


Like seriously,

It was like he was chiseled from stone.


I blink rapidly,

Pulling my mind away from thoughts of the man next to me and back to the fruit in my hand.


If Cas notices my spaced out behavior,

He doesn't mention it,

Nor does he bring attention to it.


He just lets me focus on the fruit until I finally place the last piece of fruit; a blueberry, onto the only remaining spot on the clear sectioned plate.


I shuffle on my feet,

Arms reaching out high over my head,

As a sigh leaves from my pinkend lips.


It was only when I stop stretching and look to my left that I realize Cas is staring at me with intense blue eyes, and that Sam was now leaning against the door frame.


Because ,

Yeah Sam is important too.


Cas and I locked eyes once more,

My eyes searching the blue depths of Cas’s orbs for any hint of interest.


But before I could get too far sucked into the waves,

Sam clears his throat,

Causing Cas and I to break eye contact and look at Sam.


Once Sam is sure we are paying attention to him,

He moves a stray piece of hair behind his ear before he speaks.


"Charlie and Jo will be here in ten and Bobby will be here in twenty,

 He is not happy that I took his truck so he said he is going to take twenty to get here instead of five in protest.”


I laugh at this,

My head tipping back,

Long messy blonde locks falling into my eyes,

As I cackle and shake my head.


 "Always the drama queen."

I say once I regian enough breath to speak.


"Don't let him hear you say that or that twenty will be an hour."


I snort at this,

While Cas shakes his head a smile stretched wide over his face as he turns to clean the knife and cutting board.


"So I'm guessing Bobby has always been that way?"

Cas asks over the sound of the faucet running.


Sam scuffs,

And I lean my back against the counter opposite him.


 "What dramatic or fashionably late?"

I ask causing Sam to snort.


Sam shifts his legs and crosses his arms,

Leaning his head against the white frame before speaking,


 Bobby has been this way as long as I can remember."


I nod my head at this,


You're lucky you only had to deal with it for 18 years."


I say as I point toward Sam.

Cas turns to look at me as he shuts off the water.


"Man I remember, 

When you were just a baby 

And Dad would take us over to Bobby's for the weekend."


I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and cross my legs,

Before continuing.


"Dad would just haul us both in Baby, 

One bag between the two of us, 

And he would just drive."

I make a sliding motion with my right hand,

My left one coming down to support my weight against the counter.


"He never told me where we were going,

But I knew that as soon as we got in the car, 

He was takin us to uncle Bobby's."


Cas frowned and Sam looked past my head as I spoke, 

But I continued to speak already too into the story to read into their expressions.



We would drive and drive sometimes all night,

 Before we finally reached Bobby's and when we did,

 I remember dad hauling us both out of the Car bag slung over his shoulder,

 Your little six month old self in his other hand,

 And Bobby would just storm out of the house with this-"


I laughed,

Too into the story to see Sam and Cas share a look.


"Wild look in his eyes, 

his shirt would be backwards and his shoes on the wrong feet.

 He looked like he just crawled out of a cave."


I laugh again shaking my head at the memory.


"I remember he would give Dad so much hell for coming with no warning,

 yellin and screamin like he was the starring role in a drama film."


I huff shifting my weight again.


"But when dad left he would take us both inside and feed you a bottle while he let me watch Scooby Doo until I feel asleep on the couch."


It goes silent,

Cas was watching me with sad eyes while Sam was staring a hole into the tiled wall behind my head.


A frown takes over my face,

As my eyes shift from Cas to Sam,

I opened my mouth to speak but Sam clears his throat Cutting me off with,

"I'm going to go get the grill started for the burgers.” 


I watch with wide green eyes as Sam stomps past me,

Walks across the house,

Swipes the sliding back door open and just leaves without another word.


I furrow my eyebrows and purse my lips, 

Turning my head to look at Cas.


"Did I say somethin or?"


Cas sighs and shakes his head before he crosses the short distance from the sink to me and stands in front of me.

 He places his hands on either side of my hips

Causing my heart to stutter in my chest,

But his words cause that stutter to turn into a sink.


"No Dean,

 I just think Sam doesn't like hearing about your childhood. 

I mean it really wasn't pleasant for either of you, 

And I'm sure he hates hearing about how it was when he was a baby."


I frown and bite my lip,

My eyes lowering to stare at a tiny blue splatter on Cas's otherwise white shirt.





I nod before sighing turning my head away from Cas and toward the giant sliding glass door,

Where I can see Sam’s lanky frame moving about.


I hear Cas sigh,

Before I feel his fingers brush against my stomach,

Causing my breath to hitch and my eyes to snap back to his face.



Cas starts,

But is thankfully cut off by the doorbell ringing.


I hold in my sigh of relief,

“That must be Charlie and Jo,

I'll go let them in."


I slowly take Cas’s hand in mine,

Trying to ignore how perfectly our hands fit together,

Ad I gently move his hand away from my stomach and back to his side,

Before scooting away from the countertop and him.


Cas watches me all the while,

He stays quiet but his eyes track my every move.


I hold my breath as I move away from Cas,

And make my way out of the kitchen and toward the front door.


I only breathe again when I reach the front door,

And can hear Charlie and Jo talking softly.


I stand up straighter and force a smile on my face as I open the front door,

But as soon as the door opens,

My fake smile is replaced by a real one as Charlie and Jo pile quickly into the house.



Charlie exclaims before tugging me into a tight hug.

I smile into her fire colored locks as she pulls back and jumps right into the questions.


"How have you been?

We have missed you like crazy!

Is Cas treating you alright?

Are you eating good?


Do you still get fast food?

I know how much you love your fast food,

Do you-"



I try to cut her off but she keeps talking


"Eat three meals a day now?

Do you drink enough water?

What about t.v.?

Are you still allowed to do that?

What am I saying Cas isn't that cruel.

Is he? 






"He let you stay up late or is every night early night? 




I yell before laughing in disbelief and she continues .


Jo shoots me an apologetic smile before she casually lays her head onto Charlie's tank top clad shoulder,


She whispers softly,

And thankfully this causes Charlie to stop talking.


Charlie and Jo share a look,

Before Jo raises her eyebrows which causes Charlie to laugh face turning red from embarrassment.


"I'm so sorry Dean!

It's just that we have been worried sick about you."


Her sweet tone quickly turns into a sour one as she punches my shoulder.



I hiss.


"Why Didn't you call us Dean!

We were worried sick about you!"


I opened my mouth to reply but Charlie just shakes her head,

And pulls me into another tight hug.


"Don't bother answering,

I'll just ask Cas my 20 questions."

She says into my ear before she let's go and pats my back.


"Now speaking of Cas,

Where is your Daddy?" 


Charlie says,

But leaves the room before I could reply.


My face goes beat red as I sputter for some type of retort or comeback.


Jo just laughs at me and punches my shoulder lightly before following Charlie further into the house.


I stand in the doorway,

Mouth a gap and face red looking like a fish out of water,

As I try to wrap my head around what just happened.


Of course what she said was normal,

I mean I'm Cas's little.

He is my caregiver.

It's not unheard of for littles to call their caregivers Daddy,

Especially one's in my age category.


But for some reason the idea of calling Cas that makes me feel shy.


Which it shouldn't.


It's normal.


But well,

My feelings for Castiel are not .


I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Charlie yelling out,


There Daddy is!"


My face turns a darker shade of red if that is even possible,

I hear something fall onto the ground and Cas laughs awkwardly before replying with,

"Here I am!"


I huff out a laugh,

Running my hands down my face,

Trying to bring back some of my natural color.


Calm down Winchester,

You're overreacting.

It's not weird.

It's normal.


I take a few deep breaths to calm my heart rate,

And shake out my hands before I feel like I can rejoin the party in the kitchen.


I follow the sound of laughter,

And when I re enter I see Sam and Charlie doubled over in laughter,

As Jo and Cas stare at them and shake their heads.


“What’s so funny?”

I ask as I lean against the doorframe Sam was leaning on just 30 minutes prior.


Cas’s head whips around at the sound of my voice,

But he doesn't answer my question Jo does.


“Sam opened the sliding door so fast that he fell straight onto his ass,

And when Charlie ran over to help him up,

She fell onto her ass too.”


I laughed,

My shoulders scrunching up as I 

Watch Sam and Charlie try desperately to calm down their manic giggling.


"I Didn't mean to fall!

Sam just looked so betrayed by his long gangly-"




 "limbs that I got distracted and fell!"


"Mmhmm sure babe."


"Are you testing me Joanna?"


My eyes snap toward Jo,

Who immediately went silent.


Jo shook her head,

Eyes downcast,

"No Charlie."


Charlie smiled in aprovel,



Her eyes shifted from her Submissive to my Caregiver.


"Now Cas,

Is there anything we can do to help?

Any food that needs to be fixed before Bobby gets here?"


Cas smiles a wide pleased smile,



There is some potatoes that need to be prepared and cooked and a salad that still needs to be made.

I figured those two sides, 

A fruit platter 

And some chips to go with the burgers was enough."


Cas says the last part like he is still unsure whether that was a good choice or not.


But it seems like Charlie's bright smile is enough to put his anxiety at ease.



That sounds great Cas!

I'll get the salad prepared,

While Jo and Sam work on the potatoes?"


She says the last part as a question,

Shooting Sam a look,

Which Sam smiles in reply to.




That sounds like a great plan Charlie.

Where are the potatoes Cas?"


"I don't know Sam you where the one who put them away earlier."


Sam laughs awkwardly,

Face tinting pink,


Your right,

I'll just find those and then we will get started."


I laugh loudly,

As I watch Sam squat 

And look through every cabinet in the kitchen,

Cas covers his mouth to hold in his laughter,

But much like me Charlie and Jo just let their laughter fill in the space around us.



Here we go."

Sam says in a rush,

Turning to face everyone as he holds up the bag of potatoes.


His face was now completely pink,

His long shaggy hair covered most of it,

But he just looked so flustered.


I doubled over in laughter as Sam struggled to stand up and toss the bag of potatoes onto the counter,

He shot me a glare,

Blowing his stupidly long bangs out of his face.


"Shut up."


I wipe the tears from my eyes,

Flipping my hands palm out as I struggle to breath.


"Iddn't say anythin."


I lisp in between giggles.


Sam huffs,

And aggressively opens the bag of potatoes causing everyone in the room to fall into another fit of giggles.



Ok everyone,

Let's leave Sam alone."

Cas says in his Dad voice.


I pout and throw my shoulders down,

"But Casss that's the best part of my day."


Cas shoots me a look,

And I sigh but don't push it.


I look over at Sam to see him shooting me a sly smile, 

I glare at him in return.



How about you 

And I go outside and cook the burgers?

I'm sure the grill is hot enough now."

I sigh, 

But nod my head regardless,

"Course Cas." 


Cas smiles at me,

Eyes crinkling and pink gums peeking out from underneath pale lips.




Cas says happily,

As he walks across the room and grabs the hamburger patties from the fridge.



Wash your hands and meet me outside."


Cas says before he turns on his gym shoe clad feet,

And walks out the sliding door.



I grumble under my breath.


Sam laughs,

I shot him a glare with flaring nostrils,

But he just tilts his head and purses his lips.


“Karmas a bitch Dean.”


“You're a Bitch.”

I mumble under my breath,

As I stalk toward the Sink.




I throw my hands up in disbelief,



Cas doesn't reply but I can feel his smirk leering into the back of my skull.


I glare down at the sink as I wash my hands,

Ignoring Sam and Charlie’s giggles.


Once my hands were thoroughly washed,

I roughly shut off the faucet,

And stalk toward the glass door.


"So grumpy Dean!"



 Dean why the long face!

We are just picking at you!"


I roll my eyes at them,

Sliding the glass door open and stepping out onto Cas's large back deck.


My eyes roam over the deck,

But stop at the sight of rainbow chalk and a rubber batman ball that laid innocently in the backyard.


"Leave the door open please,

And come over here 

And help me cook."


I nod,

Taking my hand off the white door handle,

And rip my eyes away from the discarded toys.


I walk over to Cas,

Sighing lightly as I reach his side 

And look down at the pink un cooked burgers.


"At least the suns not out anymore."

I say lightly,

Picking up one of the burgers and handing it to Cas instead of on the grill.


I know how he gets about me 

And hot objects.


Cas hums in agreement as he places the burger down onto the grill.


We fall silent,

And much like how we were in the kitchen,

We fall into an easy rhythm.


I season the burger,

Hand the burger to Cas,

Cas places the burger down,

Cas let's the burgers cook,

I hand Cas the grill tools,

Cas flips the burgers

And so on.


I sigh happily,

My eyes fluttering shut for a second before a hand on my back causes me to reopen them.


"You tired Honey Bee?"


I blink my eyes once again before humming in agreement, 

Leaning back onto Cas's big warm hand.


Cas shuffles closer to me 

And pulls me into his chest.


I let out a huff of breath onto Cas's shirt collar,

Burrowing my head into his neck,

Cas hums softly,

His hands rubbing soothing circles onto my back.


"I'm sorry you didn't get to nap today Dee."

Cas says,

His words ghosting over my head.


I blink my hazy eyes open,

"Don need nap Cas.

Big boy."


Cas chuckles softly,

Pulling me tighter into his chest,

His breaths puff against my hair as he rests his chin on my head.


"Course not Dean,

You're right you're a big boy huh?"


I nod my head quickly,


Now let go,

'For I fall too deep."


Cad let's go without protest,

Sends me a soft butter melting smile,

Before turning back to the burgers 

And flipping them.


The doorbell ringing echoes through the house and travels out the door.



And I share a look,

Just as Sam yells out for me 





I roll my eyes,





I scuff,

But walk towards the backdoor anyway.


I stop at the doorway and turn to Cas,

"Be right back."

I say in a much softer voice than I used with Sam a second ago.


Cas smiles,

"Okay Baby."


I trudge inside the house,

Narrowing my eyes at Sam as I pass him,

Sam just shrugs with a smug face in return.



A murmur underneath my breathe,

As I make my way to the front door.


And as soon as I open the door,

Bobby speaks.


"You Damn idjits!

I have been standin out here in the boiling heat for 10 whole minutes!

What did you guys forget ya invited company?"


"Well hey Bobby,

I missed you too."


Bobby huffs and rolls his eyes,

 Before stepping inside 

And sighing in relief at the cool air.


"Where is everybody anyway."




Bobby nods,

Before walking down the small hallway and toward all the noise.


I follow Bobby,

Stuffing at the site of his old hat.


Does he not have any other hats?

I swear he has had that hat since the day I was born.


“Hey Bobby!”

Sam yells out as soon as we step inside the large white kitchen.


“Glad you could finally make it!”


“Shut the hell up boy!

I would've been here sooner if someone didn't take my truck.”

Sam grimices,

And purses his lips before falling silent.


I bite my lip to hold in my laughter,

As I watch Charlie and Jo great Bobby with warm smiles and big hugs.


I hear footsteps enter the crowded kitchen,

And see Cas smile at Bobby.


“Welcome to my home Bobby,

Glad you made it.”


“Well I wouldn't have missed it for the world,

 Not even a missin truck or the boiling heat could Keep me away from seeing your place.

I heard from Dean it was nice,

But I'll be honest, 

I didn't think he meant this nice.”


Cas chuckled softly face flushing at the off hand compliment,

“Well thank you,

I put a lot of work into this house to make it look as nice as it does.”


“Well I say.”

Bobby agreed as he looked into the living room with awe in his eyes.


I smiled into the palm of my hand,

As I watched Bobby and Cas talk.


It was really important to me that they got along,

They are two of the most important people in my life.

The third being Sam.


“Hey bobby,

You mind helping us take this bowls outside?”

Jo pipes up,

Holding out the salad bowl to Bobby.


Bobby sighs,

“You all know im getting too old for this shit right?”

He gripes but grabs the bowl from her anyway.


“Oh you're not old Bobby,

You're only what?




“Keep talking boy,

And you won't be able to talk.”


Sam nods,






And Charlie all carry the bowls outside 

And place them onto Cas's picnic styled table,

While Cas is back outside and placing all the burgers onto a large red plate.


I step outside and make a beeline for Cas,

When Charlie's hand stops me,

And tugs me in the opposite direction.


I shoot her a confused look, 

As she pulls both Sam and I back into the kitchen.


"What's going on Charlie?"

I ask as soon as we are inside.


"Yeah what's going on?

Are you ok?"


"I think I'm going to collar Jo."

Charlie says in a rush,

Pale face scrunched up in concern,

Like she expects us to reject her idea.


Sam is the first to speak.


"Oh my god!

Oh my god,

That's awesome Charlie!

Do you already have the collar or?"


Charlie's face breaks out into a warm smile,

"I do yeah,

Ellen even helped me pick it out."


"Oh wow.

That's kind of a big deal."

I say in genuine surprise.


Ellen is known to be a real hard ass.

Think Bobby,

But as a woman.


"I know right!

But no,

She was really happy to help me out,

Even offered to help pay, 

I of course said no!

But still the offer was nice,

You know?"



That's really good Charlie.

I'm really happy for you guys!

Seriously you guys are perfect for each other."


Charlie's face melts,


 Thank you Sam."


They pull each other into a tight embrace,

Before Charlie turns to me.


"I'm really happy for you Charlie,

You guys look good together."


She smiles again,

Head tilting as she does,

Reminding me vaguely of Cas.


But I really don't need to think of Cas and collars at the same time,

Or my heart may explode.


Charlie speaks again pulling me away from my thoughts, 

"Thank you Dean.


You know I was thinking of buying an engagement ring,

 But that type of marriage is still so rare, 

You know?

I just wanted to do something that is more common,

In hopes that it would mean more?

I don't know."



I think you getting her a collar was a good idea.

But maybe for your vow renewals you can get her a ring?"


"Oh wow now,

We haven't even had-" 


I tune both Charlie and Sam out as I stare out toward Cas,

And imagine Cas 

And I both in tuxes as Cas brings a beautiful black and green collar toward my neck.


If only.


I scuff at myself for thinking of such impossible things.


A frown tugged at my lips,

As the feeling of dread overtook me.


If only.


"Hey Dean,

You still alive in there?"


Charlie's voice brings my head out of the clouds,

And back to the ground.


I turn to face Charlie 

And see her giving me a knowing look,

That I just roll my eyes at

And brush off. 


"Yeah I'm fine,

Come here."


I pull Charlie into a bone crushing hug,

In hopes of distracting her enough to drop the subject. 


Charlie sighs into the hug,

But seems to get the message as she hugs me back.




Charlie and I pull apart in a rush,

As we both yell out,



We share a look,

Before laughing 

And pushing at each other,

Trying to beat the other to the table first.




Guys play nice."


Cas's tone causes me to slow down enough for Charlie to beat me to the table.


"Ha ha."

Charlie says teasingly,

Flopping her small frame down onto the wooden bench.


"You just wait until next time."


"Uh huh."

Charlie says,

As she stabs one of the burgers with a fork.


"You'll see,

I'm fast."


Charlie doesn't reply,

And instead shoots me an amused look,

That quickly shifts into a love struck one as Jo settles down beside her.


My eyes leave the two love birds,

And wander over to Cas who was already staring at me,

Once my eyes land on Cas,

He smiles softly and pats the spot next to him.


I walk over to him,

And nestle myself next to him without a word.


From there everyone falls silent, 

And just focuses on eating their food,

And not overheating.


Thank God for clouds.

I think as I wipe my forehead off with my elbow.


I hear Cas make a soft sound,

Before he is sliding yet another glass of cold water toward me.  


Our eyes meet,

My eyebrows raise in question,

Cas's furrow in answer

And I sigh softly,

Breaking eye contact

And taking a long sip of the ice water.


Cas visibly relaxes next to me,

His shoulders slump,

And his mouth pulls into relieved smile as he watches me take a few large gulps from the blue bendy straw.


When I pull my lips away from the straw,

Cad leans into my space,

His mouth inches away from my ear.


"Thank you."

He whispers softly,

And for a second I forget anyone else was here,

Until Sam says something that catches my ear.



Well I already invited both Ash and Kevin.

So far only Ash has replied."


Sam says softly,

His hands picking at his makeshift lettuce bun as he speaks.


"Still no reply from Crolwey then?"

Jo asks,

Eyes sad and pale lips pulled into a tight line.



Sam exhales,

Before picking up his half eaten burger and taking a huge bite.


"Let me talk to the son of a bitch,

And you'll have your answer in five minutes."


My eyebrows furrow,

Sam's head snaps up,

Jo and Charlie share a confused glance before Sam speaks around a mouth full of burger.


"You ow Crowley? 


Bobby lets out a huff of breath,

Re adjusting his baseball cap,

" I think you kids,

Keep forgettin my category.

My type and Crowley's type talk.

And we'll add in our history and well…"


Bobby trials off,

And before I could speak Sam beats me to the punch.


"Your history?"

He asks with raised eyebrows,

And set lips.


The living breathing embodiment of Sas.


Bobby narrows his eyes at my lanky younger brother,

And for a split second I worry for Sam's well being.


"Let's just say that we have known each other a long time.

And trust me when I say,

I can get him to let Kevin come to your party."


Sam's sassy expression melts into a thankful one,

"Thanks Bobby."


Bobby just nods it off,

And goes to change the subject.


So that's where I get it from.


I'm pulled away from the conversation once again by Cas's soft voice speaking into my ear.


"You know,

I know Crowley too."


I raise my eyebrows at this,

Body turning to fully face Cas.



I ask,

My hot breath puffing out to brush against Cas's chin.


Cas nods his head,

Before turning his body to face mine as well.



Though I don't know his and Bobby's history.

I feel confident saying our history is more.."

Cas tilts his head,

Eyes narrowing.



I shift my legs closer to Cas's.

"How so?"



Cas reaches down to his plate for a barbecue chip,

Before bringing said chip to my lips.


I bring the chip into my mouth,

Without hesitation.


"A couple years ago when that whole political mess happened about equal rights in categories,

I'm sure you heard about it?"


I nodded,

That was the last year we were with Dad,

Actually when the debate was going on,

Sam and Dad had their falling out.




Cas shifts his legs to cross,

So that he can look at me more comfortably.


"Crowley and I were on opposite sides.

His side liked things the way they were,

And my side wanted change."


Cas picked up a grape,

And brought it to my lips,

I pulled the grape into my mouth with my teeth.


"The whole political mess lasted for only a few months,

But it felt like years."


I swallowed before asking,

" What happened?"


Cas looked up at my face now a smile tugging at his lips,

His hand laid down onto mine his fingers tracing patterns onto my knuckles.


"My side won and because of that we are now one step closer to equal rights."


Our hushed conversation was interrupted by Bobby yelling.




I wiped my head over to watch Bobby jump up from the table and quickly grab a napkin from the table and pat down his once white t shirt,

That now had beer seeping into the fabric 


"What happened?"

I ask,

My body now turning back to face the rest of the group.


"Bobby wasn't paying attention and spilt beer all over himself."


Bobby looked up and glared at Sam,


You’re really pushin your luck today.

Keep talkin to me like that and I will take that salt on the table and shoot you so full of it that you crap margaritas for a week."


 I lost it.


I doubled over onto the table in laughter,

My Eyes watering,

As I snort and struggle to breathe.







I try to take deep breaths,

But watching Bobby wipe his beer soaked shirt aggressively,

And seeing Sam looked scared to death

While Charlie and Jo cackled in the distance was too much.


I leant over my knees and struggle to take deep breaths,

As I feel Cas's hand rub circles onto my back .



Hey sweetheart calm down.

Or you might have an accident."


I freeze up at that,

Struggling to take deep breaths.


Cas is right,

I've had like 5 glasses of water

I need to be careful.


I lean back into Cas,

My head resting against his chest,

As I take large gulps of air.


"There you go."


Once I calm down enough,

I realize that Cas was right,

I need to go.


I sigh,

And Cas must realize why because he pats my shoulder and whispers

"Go ahead,

I'll distract them."


I lean my head back and look up at Cas with a grateful smile,

"Thanks Daddy."


Cas freezes,

Eyes going wide.


I jump up from Cas's lap

And make a casual but swift walk away from him and toward the restroom.


The sound of loud laughter fades into the distance,

As the ear ringing silence of the house takes over.


 I can't believe I said that.


I walk quickly down the long hallway.





I actually




I slam the bathroom door shut behind me.


I actually said it.


I pull my pants down in a rush and do my business.


Why am I not freaking out more?


I flush and pull my bee themed shorts back up.


The ones Cas made me.


I flip the facuaut on,

And pour an ungodly amount of soap onto my palm.


The ones my Daddy made me.


I let out a broken chuckle as I quickly wash my hands.


Why am I not losing it right now?


I ask myself as I turn the tap off,

And pull my cowboy themed towel down and dry my hands.


I look up at myself in the mirror,

Doe green eyes look back at me,

Framed by messy honey blonde locks,

Red Freckled checks,

And large pouty lips.


I glance over my face,

Really taking in the details as I hang my towel back up.


I look young.

So much younger than twenty two.

But that's normal.


My eyes take in the bee themed tank top,

That matches the shorts Cas made me.


And so is Calling Cas Daddy.


I blink away from the mirror and down toward the white sink littered with cowboys.


And maybe that's why I'm not freaking out.


I wipe a stray waterdrop away from the sleek silver facuat.


Because it's normal.


I look back up toward the young man in the mirror.


And it just feels so right.


I let out a shaky breath of relief.


Now that's what we call character development.


I smack the sink edge once,

Before I push myself out of the bathroom and back toward the party.


My feet glide against the wood floor with new found acceptance,

As I slowly step back through the backdoor

To see everyone standing up and moving around.


I look up toward the sky to see,

The sun is starting to set,

And the clouds have started to retreat,

Their job of shading the sky over.


I hear footsteps approaching me and look away from the sky to see Cas making his way over to me.


His facial expression is reserved,

But I can tell by the pull of his lips and the twinkle in his eye.


He is proud.

And oh boy does that do funny things to my belly.


"Hey bee,

Everybody is getting ready to head home."


"Makes since."

I replied softly,

Green watching blue,

As a tension settles over the two of us.


I couldn't tell if the tension was going to snap or resolve,

But thankfully I didn't have too.


The doorbell rings.


Cas looks past my head with furrowed eyebrows and a sigh on his lips.


"I'm going to go see who that is."


Cas looks back at me with soft eyes,

Before he leans in and kisses my forehead.


I melt into the kiss,

Leaning my head up into Cas's mouth.


Cas pulled away from me,

He smiled wide,

And I replied, 

letting him know that his message was received.


"I'll be right back."

He says softly,

Glancing over my face one last time before he steps past me and into the house.


I watch Cas’s retreating frame,

Until he was completely out of my sight,

 Before I turned back around,

And when I do I see Bobby and Sam staring at me with knowing expressions.


I roll my eyes at them,

And shift my weight from foot to foot,

Tying to brush it off like it was nothing.


Like I wasn't completely in love with Cas.


I still at my thoughts,

But before I have time to dwell on them Bobby makes his way over to me.


I look away from Bobby's approaching figure and instead look over to the plate clattered picnic table.


That's going to be hell to clean up later.


"He's a good guy Dean."



Ok so no foreplay,

Just straight into the conversation.


I don’t reply,

But I don’t need to because Bobby continues.


"A good guy for you."

He says,

Shifting to stand closer to me,

One hand on his cap,

The other sliding into his back pocket.


I shift my weight the opposite way,

And clear my throat,

My eyes scanning over the backyard,

Like the trees were listing.



I say in a warning tone.


Only from said man to scuff,

And re adjust his hat to cover his eyes.



I may be old but I'm not blind."


My palms press together,

As my head lowers.


"Even a Damn Spalax could see that you two are in love 

And the damn things are blind."


I turn to look Bobby straight in the eye,

My heart rate shoots through the roof as I hiss

 "Keep it down Bobby."


I shouldn't be so worried 

Honestly being scared right now was irrational,

But well,

I've never been the smart one anyway,

 That was always Sam.


Bobby's face softens at my tone,

Clearly seeing how worried I was.

He shifts closer to me,

Eyes outcast,

 Watching Charlie, Jo and Sam converse.




I don't reply.


 "No one is going to judge you or love you any less because you love Cas."


I take in a deep breath,

And blink watery eyes,

Stuffing my hands into my pockets in hopes that would ease the shake.


"S,not normal Bobby."


Bobby huffs a laugh.


"And neither was same sex love but people got over it." 

Bobby says all too casually,

Before patting my shoulder.


I swallow down my tears as Bobby hauls me into a hug saying,

"Come'er son."


I close my eyes as I hold onto Bobby tightly,

My head resting on his shoulder,

As he pats my back.


"Don't let your father's words get into your head 

And ruin this for you."


I sniff loudly,

Pressing my eyelids together so tight that they may just stay that way. 


I felt so relieved.

Relieved that Bobby knew.

Relieved that Bobby understands,

Relieved that Bobby still loved me,

That he still supported me.


I felt like one thousand pounds just came flying off my chest,

And I don't know how to express that other than squeezing Bobby's big frame closer to me and squeezing as tight as I could.



And Cas just fit Dean.

Don't ruin this for yourself, 

You hear me?"


I nod into Bobby's large shoulder.


Yes Bobby,

I understand,

Thank you,

I love you.


"Cas loves you Dean."

Bobby continues,

His arms holding onto me tighter in support.

Knowing that I won't speak my mind,

But aware of my thoughts just the same.


"And it's about Damn time you had someone to right the wrongs in your life."

Bobby than pats my back one final time and pulls away from me,

Like we didn't just have a life changing heart to heart.


While I stand there and struggle to get my tears under control, 

Bobby calls out for Sam.


"Let's go home Sam."

He says before patting Sam;

Who just walked this way,

  On the back.


Bobby looks over to me one last time,

A soft proud smile on his face.

Before he walks back inside the house.


I turn to look at Sam,

Just as Sam turns to look at me,

His large hazel eyes grow soft at the sight of my unshed tears.


Sam pulls me into a hug,

I sigh 

And press my face into Sam's sea of plaid.


"Let yourself enjoy this Dean."

Sam whispers softly,

His words cascading down my hairline and right into my overwhelmed heart.


I break the hug first,

Because if I don't we'll be here forever.


Sam shoots me a wide stretched mouth smile,

Before he walks away to find Bobby.


I'm watching Sam leave when Charlie 

And Jo approach me.


"We are gonna head out too."

I turn to face them,

With probably the widest smile on my face.


I just feel so light.


"Don't be a stranger guys,

Our house is your house." 


I say as I pull both girls into a hug.

Charlie lays her head onto my shoulder while Jo lays her head onto Charlie's.


Charlie laughs lightly,

Before pulling back,

Bringing Jo with her.


 "We'll hold you to that."


She says with a teasing glint in her eyes,

Which I roll my own at.



I'm sure you will."

I pat both girls on the back once more before I watch them leave hand in hand.


Once they were both out of sight,

I let out a long huff of breath,

My shoulders sagging 

And head tipping back.


What a day.


Just than the back door shuts with a soft click,

And the sound of Cas's old gym shoes hit against the deck.

Chapter Text

 "You just missed them, 

They all left."

I said softly,

While I busied my hands with picking up stray plastic cups.


Cas's footsteps grew closer until I could feel his body heat right behind me,

I swallowed down a sequel before it could leave my throat,

As Cas wrapped his arms around my middle,

His hands locking together on my flat stomach.


I almost forgot to breathe.


Cas speaks with a calm air about him,

Like my heart wasn't flying like a hummingbird in my chest.


"I know,

 I was able to catch everyone walking out the door."


Cas lays his stubbled chin against my freckled shoulder,

The fluff of his dark brown hair rubbing against my eyebrow.


I continue picking up every cup in my reach as a means of distraction from Cas's breath puffing onto my neck.


"I'm sorry I kept you waiting."


I hum,

Before reaching across the table for another cup,

Cas's arms loosen enough to allow me to reach it.


 "Gabriel showed up."


I lose my grip on the plastic cup,

Causing it to shoot out of my hand like a rubber band.

And I almost faceplant against the wooden table,

But Can tightens his arms just in time.



I sputter out my hands frantically pulling at Cas's arms,

My face still suspended inches away from the table

And I swear I hear Cas swallow a laugh.


"Calm down Dean."

Cas says in a velvety smooth voice,

Before he gently reels my body back against his chest and away from my almost wooden death.


"How am I supposed to calm down?

Your brother is crazy!"


"My brother is not-"


A whip my head around to look Cas dead in the eyes,

The angle is awkward but he got the point.


He sighs,

"I feel crazy is a harsh word Dean,

Gabriel is just…"


Cas trials off his words,

His head tilting slightly to the right.




I blink.

Mouth tightly set.



I drag each letter in the word out.


"Well what did Mr.Eccentric want?"


Cas narrowed his eyes at my sarcastic tone,

Causing me to lower mine.



Cas lowers his head to rest back onto my shoulder,

Causing him to hunch slightly,

Tan arms tightening around my stomach.


"Was on his way to the store to get more lollipops and liquor,

When he drove by my house and saw a bunch of cars parked in the front."


I nod my head lightly,

He continues.


"So he stopped because he

'Wanted to see what his little bro was up too.'"


My eyebrows raise to my hairline as Cas makes honest to god quotations as he speaks.




Cas sighs arms wrapping back around my waist like vines on an old house.


"I had to tell him that we were having a huge play date party

And that if he wanted to stay to help change diapers he could."


I choke on my own spit

Because out of everything for Cas to say I was not expecting that.


I sputter and laugh,

Blonde hair falling back onto a tanned shoulder.




What di-

Did he say?"


Cas hummed,

The sound vibrating softly in my ears like he was a honey bee and I was the flower.


"He said Quote


I rather not spend my day with a bunch of kids,

And their obsessive mothers.

Thanks but not really for the offer Cassie.

I'm outta here,

Got booze to get and people to see.

Catch you later Thursday.'

End quote."


I laughed loud and obnoxious,

Until there was no laughter left in me.


It was silent than,

Once my laughter faded

And the echo of it washed away.


There was no sound for miles,

The sun had already set 

And everyone who was outside had already retired for the night.


It was nice.


I leaned my head back against Cas,

Burrowing it into the hollow of his neck,

Cas stood straight now,

 His head coming in turn to rest on top of mine.



I whispered the word into the night,

Afraid that if I was too loud It would rip away the blanket of silence that was covering us.


"Castiel is a biblical name.

And one origin for the angel who shares my name is,

 That he presides over Thursdays."


There was a slight pause before he continues.


"But no one is entirely sure if he was a real angel or if he was actually an older angel named Cassiel,

And people changed his name over time."


I hum,

Eyelids fluttering in the silver moon lit night.


"What's another origin for this Angel?"


Cas hums in thought,

His head shifting around on mine.


"That he was a warrior,

One of God's favorites.

But even though God loved him his brothers and sisters didn't feel quite the same.

He was an outcast,

He felt alone and abandoned by the one person who swore loved Him."


I frowned,

My head lifting slightly to look up at the clear sky and bright full moon that hung over us.


"What happened then?"


"He met two brothers

And an older gentlemen who played their father.

He loved what the brothers stood for,

What they fought everyday for.

He found refuge in the brothers,

He found family

And he found love."


Cas's arms tighten around me.


"He fell,


Not only for the fight of good

But for love."


It fell silent,

Cas's words hung thick in the air like a fog after fireworks.


That story felt too real,

Almost like it wasn't entirely a story.

Those words meant something.


I opened my mouth to speak,

To ask More about the Angel 

Or to ask if those words were real.


I don't know .

But regardless Cas spoke first.


"Speaking of Older men playing father."

Cas's arms slip from my waist 

As he steps around me 

Picking up the discarded cup from earlier.


I still couldn't form words,

My mind still wrapped up in that story.


"Bobby stopped to talk to me on his way out."


I started at Cas,

Mouth dry,

And heart hammering.


That story.


"He asked me if you were ever coming home."



My voice comes out dry,

I clear my throat.


"What did you say?"

I watch Cas's Moon lit shilloute move,

Around the deck to pick up the rest of the mess from earlier.


"I said that it was up to you."

Cas replies without looking up from his task.


I nod,

My eyes looking down at the dark grain of the deck.


"What if I don't want to leave?"

It was just a whisper,

But the words moved in the night like wind,

Reaching Cas's ears 

And whipping around them.


Cas stopped what he was doing,

The cups in his hands discarded on the table once again.

But he doesn't move from his spot.


"Then you can stay."

His answer is whispered into the night.


"But Dean.."

Cas sighs,

His voice sounds worried now when only moments before it was soft,

Sweet almost.


I look up at him,

Our eyes lock and while it is almost too dark to see color I swear his eyes have never looked so blue.



He starts again,

Shifting his weight on his legs,

Hands crossing over his chest.


A sign of discomfort.


"What we have developing between us,

When your big is not-"


My heart sinks before he could even finish.


"It's not normal."


I don't know how I manage words let alone breath,

But I speak with my tears in my eyes 

And my heart in my stomach.


"What do you mean not normal?"


Cas notices my discomfort,

Because of course he does.


A frown tugged at the corner of pale lips,

Before he walks toward me with slow measured steps.


I stay still,

And let him approach me until we are arms length apart.


"I just mean that most caregivers and their littles don't have a-"


He shakes his head trying to find the right words.


I stand still and watch him.


"A romantic relationship.

Even if it is just strictly while the little is in their adult headspace."


I suck in a quick huff of air,

Clasping my trembling hands together,

Before nodding.


"And that's what you think we have?

A romantic relationship?"


I tried not to sound hopeful,

Because Cas seemed like he was uncomfortable with the idea.




But I sounded hopeful.



Cas says before taking another step closer,

One more step and the tips of our shoes would touch.


"Dean we eat dinner together every night.

When your big you help me cook,

And we stay up until midnight watching movies

And debuting over which we thought was better."


He takes another step closer,

Our shoes touch,

My breath hitches.


"We curl up on the couch together 

And watch the morning news every morning

 Your big even though you say it bores you.

We cook breakfast together in our boxers,

And sing off key while we watch the sun rise.

 And I tolerate your loud rock music while your working in the garage,

Even though the bass gives me a headache."


He takes another step closer,

Our faces practicality touch.


"We are what Gabriel would call,

An old married couple."


We watch each others faces,

And with Cas this close,

I swear I could almost touch the ocean in his eyes.


I speak before I could even register the words.


"Does that bother you?"


Cas doesn't hesitate before replying.



A piece of my heart rebuilds.


“Does it scare you?”




Another piece rebuilds.


“Then why are you so worried about it?”

My voice is quiet,

Intimate almost,

The words spoken in a hush.


Our eyes meet again,

And I know Cas could see the hope in mine.


“Because it's not normal Dean.”

Cas says first,

The huff of his breath caresses my face,

But my eyes must give something away because he follows up with.


 “And I don't want to push your boundaries,

Or do something that may make you uncomfortable.”


His hand slowly comes out 

And lays on my cheek,

I lean into the touch,

 Eyelashes fluttering,

Cas’s thumb strokes my cupids bow.


Cas’s actions might read as contradictory,

But I could feel the worry in his eyes,

Almost like he was afraid I would pull away 

And never return. 


“I could ruin what we have when your little.



My heart restores,

And I do something quickly without overthinking it.


I grab Cas’s jaw

And pull him into a Kiss.


The kiss is quick,

And nothing more than a press of lips.


But it is the best damn kiss I have ever had,

Cas’s lips are cool 

And melt into mine perfectly.


Almost like our lips where two halves of one whole.


When I pull back Cas stares at me with wide eyes,

And parted lips,

His hand on my cheek slips slightly,

But I catch it with my own hand.



I stroke my thumb over the back of Cas’s hand.


“When I am me.

When I am big Dean.

When I can consistent.”


I trail off from that thought,

When Cas’s other hand comes up to lay on my opposite cheek,

Cradling my face like I was precious 

And breakable.


This causes the butterflies to swarm,

My heart to skip,

And the light in my soul to brighten ten fold.


“I love our time we spend arguing over trek or wars

And cuddling on the couch,

And just being near you man.”


The words hang between us,

As I lean up

And press my forehead to Cas’s,

My eyes flutter Close.


“Let's not worry about what other people think.”


Cas makes a choking sound 

And I reopen my eyes to see him staring at me like I was the best gift he had ever received.


Cas runs his thumb over my trembling lips,

And I sigh leaning into the touch.


“Cause when I'm Dean and your Cas,

Your my freakin boyfriend.”


Cas chuckles lightly,

 Like he was about to scold me but stops himself so that he doesn't ruin the moment.

And instead he knocks his forehead gently against mine,

And smiles a lip splitting smile.


“And when I’m little,

 You're my caregiver.”


I look into Cas’s eyes

And smile back just as wide,

My hands clutch his own on my face.


“And if anyone has a problem with it they can just go to hell.”

My words puff against Cas’s lips like a confession,

Leaving a sweet aftertaste in my mouth,

And a light feeling in my belly.


We both fall silent than,

Just starting into each others eyes 

And enjoying the comfort of the other.


Cas rubs his head against mine once more,

Like a purring cat,

Causing me to laugh lightly,

Eyes crinkling as the sound echoes around us like chimes. 


Cas is the first one to break the silence.


“Language Dean.”

Cas teases softly,

But before I could respond Cas pulls me into a heart melting kiss,

And all thoughts of retort leave me mind.