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They Don't Know What This Feeling is Like

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Epilogue (2/3)


May, 2020 

It’s a Saturday morning and they both can sleep in but Magda catches herself staring at Pernille instead of sleeping, memorizing all of her features. 

She memorizes the way Pernille’s blond hair is sprawled across the pillow, almost glimmering in the morning light. She memorizes each and every freckle that is placed ever so perfectly across Pernille’s face. She memorizes the way her eyelids seem to move as she lies still, deep in sleep. And she memorizes the feeling she has right now being able to be with the love of her life. That's the thing she holds onto the most. 

Pernille stirs after a moment and smiles when she catches Magda’s gaze. 

“Mmm good morning beautiful.” She says sleepily and groggily rubbing her eyes. 

“Good morning.” Magda replies. 

“Why don’t we make it an even better morning.” Pernille prompts once she’s more awake, while shifting her body so she can kiss Magda. 

“Let’s.” She gets out before she is met with Pernille’s lips again. 

Magda shifts her body so she is now on top of Pernille and Pernilles hands move to Magda’s hair naturally while she deepens the kiss. 

Yes, it will definitely be a good morning, Magda thinks. 

 

After, when they are lying in bed, Pernille is laying in Magda’s arms with her head on Magda’s chest and she is drawing small circles on Pernille’s back. Just two months ago they wouldn’t have been able to do this. Pernille would probably have been back in Germany and Magda would have been here, missing her. But, now they both play on the same team, which comes with extra perks, and without a doubt Magda can say this past month has been the best month of her life.

Magda has really never been happier and although they have been dating for six years now ( six years! ), she still feels like they are in the honeymoon stage. Sure, they fight once and awhile, all couples do, but whenever she is with Pernille (which is basically all the time), she is the same happy, giddy, 20 year old she was when they first started dating. 

It’s not even the fact that they are now living together and have the ability to see each other everyday that makes Magda so happy. It’s more about the little things. It’s the way Pernille’s nose scrunches when she smiles after she gets home and finds that Magda has made her favorite meal. It’s when they clean the dishes together and they end up making more of a mess because they were goofing around. It’s the fact that Pernille is always the last person she sees before she goes to sleep and the first person she sees when she wakes up. 

They both know that this is forever, but still Magda wants to make it "official," and soon. She smiles to herself when she thinks about Pernille becoming her wife. 

Magda turns her head towards Pernille and looks into her dreamy blue eyes, failing at concealing her smile. 

“What are you smiling about up there?” Pernille questions. 

“Nothing.” Magda says, but expands when she realizes that Pernille is still looking at her funny. “Just you. And me.” She adds with a smile. 

It feels natural with Pernille, always has been, and she hopes it will for the rest of her life. 

“We should get up.” Magda says at the same time Pernille blurts out, “We should get married.” 

Magda sits up quickly and Pernille’s face changes to a deep shade of red. When Magda notices she readjusts and pulls Pernille in rubbing her arms. “No, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just we aren’t properly engaged. I mean…” 

“I didn’t mean right now silly.” Pernille shoots back and this time Magda is the one that turns a shade redder. “I just meant we should talk about it.” 

“Um no… I mean yeah. I… I just thought…” 

“Wait!” Pernille says all of a sudden, cutting Magda off. “Were you going to… ” 

“Just leave it alone Pernille.” Magda says affectionately.  

Magda leans down and places a kiss onto Pernilles temple before getting up out of bed. “Come on. I’ll cook you something good.” 

Magda walks out of the room and hears Pernille huff as she falls back onto the bed. Magda just smiles and rolls her eyes.

 

She wakes up a few Saturdays later and finds herself in an empty bed, Pernille nowhere to be found. 

It’s been a little awkward since the whole marriage situation, but it's mostly been forgotten by now. Magda believes that Pernille knows her well enough to know that Magda has a plan and so she has mostly left her alone about the whole situation (apart from some minor joking around). 

She looks around the room and she was right, Pernille isn’t here. As she sits up in bed, a putrid smell catches her attention. When she realizes it’s the smell of food burning she gets up and runs straight to the kitchen. She finds the culprit in the kitchen, surrounded by a mess and food that is smoking and beyond salvation. 

“Pernille, what is that awful smell?” Magda questions. 

“I made breakfast.” Pernille replies with a weak smile. 

“Well I am not eating whatever produced that awful smell.” Magda says in between laughs. 

They ended up throwing out whatever mess Pernille tried to make, and Pernille (very minimally) helped Magda make breakfast (the actual breakfast they’d be eating that is). 

While they are eating Pernille fills Magda in on her “big adventure” of the morning.

First, Pernille ended up pouring the egg into the pan while it was too hot and her scrambled eggs ended up becoming incredibly burnt and stuck to the pan. The pan beyond repair. She thought they might still be okay if she’d scrape off the burnt parts, but no turns out she was wrong because they tasted awful and nothing like eggs should taste like. 

Magda just throws her head into her hands and shakes her head, mumbling something inaudible. 

Pernille continues her story and tells Magda that she said to herself forget the eggs, toast and bacon will be just fine.

Then, about ten minutes later the toast was burnt and the bacon was way too over cooked. 

Pernille sighs in defeat after recounting it to Magda. Magda just smiles and shakes her head once again. 

This is who she’s going to spend the rest of her life with, Magda thinks, and it’s all the little things like this that couldn’t make her any happier. 

 

June 2020, 

As May turns into June, they are officially on break from the season. Pernille and Magda have headed back to Sweden to visit some friends and of course Magdas family (but at this point they have been together so long, Pernille considers them her family too). 

“Hey this isn’t the way to your house.” Pernille notices. 

“You’re right it’s not.” Magda simply says and Pernille is a little bothered by her vagueness. She would like to know what’s going on too. 

They pull up to the train station and Pernille is left wondering. Where on earth could they be going? She thought that they were going to be visiting family, that's why they came to Sweden before heading to Denmark. 

“Come on.” Magda opens Pernille's door for her and Magda takes Pernille's hand, locking their fingers. 

Magda maneuvers them around the station and when they get to what seems to be their train, Magda shuffles around her bag until she takes out two train tickets. Pernille leans over and reads them. They read Stockholm to Linköping. Why are they going to Linköping? All of their friends have moved to different clubs or different cities, why would they go back there? 

They board the train and take their seats next to each other. Most of the time Pernille knows where Magda would be going with this, but other times she doesn't even pretend to know what's going on inside that woman's head. Instead of trying to decipher what Magda has planned, she leans her head onto Magda's shoulder, and tries to enjoy the two hour train ride, watching as Stockholm vanishes into the distance. 

When they arrive, they deboard the train and step onto the platform. It still looks the same as it did almost three years later. 

Once they are outside the station, Magda leads them to a car that’s waiting in the pick-up circle. “Are you going to tell me where we are going now?” 

“Do you trust me?” Magda prompts, her eyebrows raised just a bit. 

“Yes of course.” Pernille says and that earns her a kiss on the cheek from Magda. 

“Okay, lets go.” Magda leads Pernille into the back of the black car with a hand on the small of Pernille’s back. 

Once they're situated in the car, Pernille catches Magda’s gaze and gives her a light peck on the lips. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Pernille responds meaningfully before shifting her attention to the road. Once she figures out what direction they are going she knows exactly where they are going. She spent so much time here, so of course she knows how to get there by heart. Although, she still doesn’t know why they would be going there. 

She turns to Magda hoping to get an answer, but all Magda does is shrug with her signature sly smile plastered on her face. 

They arrive and Pernille finds that she was indeed correct. Magda has brought her to their old stomping grounds. None other than their practice fields when they played at Linköping FC. 

It’s summer in Sweden, so when they get out of the car, Pernille is instantly hit with the hot sun. Despite the heat, it’s the perfect day. The familiar football field sits in front of them, the trees on the edge of the field sway slightly in the wind. The breeze catches Pernille's hair, and Magda is quick to brush it out of her face for her. 

She is looking at her so lovingly that Pernille can’t help but kiss her right there in the middle of the road. 

“Follow me.” Magda grabs her hand and opens up the gate to the field, walking them to the center circle. 

“Are you sure it’s okay that we are in here?” Pernille questions. “I wouldn’t want to get the staff mad.” 

“Don’t worry.” Magda winks. “I’ve already cleared it.” 

“Okay.” Pernile draws out the o and the a. 

Once they are out at the center of the field, a familiarity hits Pernille. This was her home for so many years and it feels just the same. This is where she had her first big break. This is where she became a better player. This is where she scored all her goals. And this is where she met Magda. 

Suddenly, the realization hits her. Magda has been acting pretty nervous today (or for the past week for that matter) and she only acts nervous when something important is coming up. Oh. OH! This is it isn’t it. 

Pernille glances at Magda and she is rocking back and forth on her toes, seemingly trying to remain calm. Magda shifts her gaze towards Pernille, trying to conceal her nerves by offering a soft smile. Pernille just smiles back and hopes she is right. 

“Pernille.” Magda says quietly and Pernille just nods acknowledging that she heard her. 

“We have been together for 6 years and I still find myself wanting to spend every day together. I know our path hasn’t always been easy or traditional, always traveling for games and living in completely different countries, but I can't imagine it happening any other way. I love you with all my heart and I will continue to love you for the rest of my life if you let me. I kept wracking my brain for the perfect time or even the perfect place to do this, and I couldn’t think of a better place than the place we first met. This was our home for so long and I kept trying to figure out why I felt so at home here more than anywhere else and I’ve finally figured out that it’s not the place, it’s you. You're my home. I love you so much and every single little thing about you and I want to keep on loving you for the rest of my life. So what I’m trying to say is, Pernille Mosegaard Harder will you marry me?” 

Magda gets down on one knee and opens the ring box. It’s the most beautiful ring that she has ever seen. Pernille isn’t typically a very emotional person, but as she looks into Magda’s eyes, she finds that there are tears steadily streaming down her face. “Yes, yes. Of course I’ll marry you Magda.” 

“I love you so much.” She says breathlessly as Magda puts the ring on her finger. Pernille looks down at her hand and is overwhelmed with happiness. She pulls Magda up from the ground and they embrace each other in a tight, happy, love filled hug. 

“I love you too.” Magda is finally able to get out. Magda places her hands on Pernilles face and kisses her hard, as if trying to explain without words how much she loves her, but there’s no need because Pernille already knows. 

 

June 2021 

They get married a year later. A summer wedding during the off season. It’s just a small wedding with their family and close friends. It’s perfect. 

They both cry when they see each other. Their mothers cry. It’s perfect. 

They remain in each other's arms the whole night. Never leaving each other's side. Both happier than they’ve ever been. It’s perfect.