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They Don't Know What This Feeling is Like

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They’ve talked a lot since that first night (and did a lot more than talking if Pernilles honest). Pernille wanted to make sure they talked about the fears she had (she found out she wasn’t the only one with the same fears). They also talked about what they both wanted at this point in their lives and made sure to make a point about how they have their own goals within their career. From the start, they both knew that each of them were in it for the long haul, even if they didn’t directly say it. However, there is one particular night that really makes it “official” in a way. 

It had been a week since that night in Magda's apartment and nothing had really changed between them, well except for the fact that Pernille could kiss Magda whenever she wanted. They hadn't exactly said anything to any of their teammates (besides Freed and few others), but Pernilles sure that they have noticed that something had changed (because they haven’t exactly been subtle about anything). It’s not that they don’t want them to know, both made it clear they're not ashamed to be together, but they just haven’t said anything about it. 

Not much in their relationship has changed, which is very telling within itself that this was meant to happen. They still spend time together everyday, they still talk about football, and they still share everything with each other. However slight, the changes in their relationship is what their teammates have probably picked up on. But, Pernilles not complaining because she loves the new small things she's noticed between them. 

Since they’ve started this, Magda has become extra protective in all aspects, including football. Pernille doesn’t think she’s trying to do this, it’s more of a subconscious thing (but either way, Pernille finds it endearing). Like when Pernille falls or is taken down in practice (which is like everyday) Magda makes sure to come over and check on her every time, even if she’s on the other side of the field. Also there's the constant need to be physically touching each other. Neither of them are super huge on public displays of affection, but when they are near each other, Magda needs to always be maintaining physical contact. Usually it's just a subtle touch of their hands, but occasionally it’s a hand on her back. 

Pernilles sure she has started doing little things like this too, but mostly she just notices Magdas habits. Even though they never officially said they were dating or anything like that, it definitely feels like it. So Pernille wasn't particularly surprised when they sort of had an accidental conversation about it on this particular night. 

It was a Saturday night, so Magda and Pernille were out at a bar with a few other teammates, having fun and letting loose. Pernille is the typical drunk, gets a bit loud and a little crazy (this is when her dorky dances come out in full swing). Magda, on the other hand, does get a bit loud and fun like Pernille, but she also gets very affectionate and handsy. This was their first outing since they first kissed, so they did get a few looks from their teammates, but Pernille didn’t care and she thinks Magda didn’t either. The whole night, Magdas hands were everywhere. On her back, on her hips, by her face, in her hair. 

It was fun, really fun, and it was nice that they could just be themselves. They were dancing in the middle of the bar, sweat and a faint smell of alcohol filled the air, when Magda leaned in and whispered into Pernilles ear, causing chills to fill her body. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

“What did you say?” Pernille looks at her, the crowded bar muffling Magdas whisper. Instead of responding, Magda nods her head towards the door and takes Pernilles hand, leading her out. 

“Come on, let’s go back to my place.” Magda says when they are outside. Pernille inhales the fresh cool air, the opposite of the air inside the bar. It’s still a bit chilly out this time of the year and Pernille finds herself shivering in her jean jacket. 

“What are you up to, Magda?” Pernille smirks slightly, poking her hand playfully on Magdas stomach. She’s suddenly not cold anymore as Magda comes closer to her and puts her hand on Pernilles shoulder before slowly sliding it down her arm until she makes it to her hand and locks their fingers together. 

“What?” Magda smirks back. “I can’t ask my girlfriend to come home with me?” 

“Girlfriend, huh?” Pernille didn’t think it would affect her this much, Magda calling her, her girlfriend, rather she wants to hear her say it again and again. 

“Yeah, girlfriend.” Magda says smiling, like it needs no extra explanation. “Let’s go.” 

Magda leans over and kisses her cheek, before they walk hand in hand back to Magda's apartment. It’s a short walk from the bar, but long enough that the alcohol had begun to wear off. 

Just like Pernille wasn’t surprised to hear Magda call her girlfriend, she also wasn’t surprised that she woke up in Magdas bed the next morning and it was like everything was exactly how it was meant to be.

 

Since then, everything has been great, perfect actually, except one thing, but that has nothing to do with Magda. The last few practices she has been having some pain in her foot. Pernille has never really had a serious injury, but this can’t be that serious, right? Because she can still play, it just hurts a little sometimes. Okay a lot. 

It’s better when she walks, but as soon as she starts to run it burns and aches all throughout her foot. So far she has been able to play through the pain, but today during a passing drill she now felt pain. So far she’s been dealing with it on her own and telling the trainer that the pain isn’t too bad. But, that’s not really smart, this is her career after all, she thinks. 

Pernille is taken out of her thoughts only when Mageda subtly elbows her, seemingly knowing when Pernille is paying attention or not. 

“You two are disgustingly cute.” Fridolina mumbles. It’s after practice and Pernille, Magda, and Frido are sitting in the living room in Pernilles apartment when Frido looks at them and jokingly rolls her eyes. It’s not like they are doing anything particular out of the ordinary. Frido is sitting on one of the couches and Pernille and Magda are on the other one. Magda is sitting up straight while Pernille is laying sideways with her feet on top of Magdas lap, Magda lightly massaging her feet, having taken notice that her foot has been bothering her. 

They have only been “officially” dating for a couple of weeks, but Pernille can already tell she has fallen hard and fast for Magda. Once she accepted her feelings and realized that this was something truly special and she couldn’t just reject it, it was so easy to just be what they were meant to be. Its weird how after a while something that once felt weird or different, now feels so normal. 

“You’re just jealous Freed.” Magda replies with the perfect response. 

“I guess you’re right.” Frido laughs. 

“No, but honestly my foot has really been bothering me. I’m not sure what to do, I’ve never really had any big injuries before.” Pernile explains seriously. 

“Well, I’ve had plenty of injuries and from experience you should just get it checked out and fixed before any other injuries stem from the original one.” Frido matches Pernilles tone. Pernille nods appreciatively. “But, if you need something to keep your mind off of it there's that music festival next weekend if you guys want to go.” 

“Yes!” Magda exclaims. “Me and Pernille have been wanting to see one of the bands that are performing there." They spend the next while discussing the upcoming festival and plan to get tickets. Pernille decides to focus her energy on this, hoping it will take her mind off her injury. 


Pernille knows it’s bad when it starts to hurt to walk. She decides to train, but a few minutes into the training she makes a run down the sideline calling for the ball, when she feels a sharp burning pain in her foot. She goes down just as the ball is arriving at her feet. She bites down on her lip so she doesn’t scream out in pain. Magda is immediately at her side asking if she’s alright. 

“I’m…” She’s about to say she’s fine, but she’s really not. “It’s my foot. Worst pain it’s been so far.” 

“Okay, okay. You’re gonna be fine.” Magda helps her up and to the sideline with the help of the athletic trainer. “I’ll find you after practice, okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah see you later.” Pernille mages to get out through the pain. The trainer helps her inside and they head to the medical room where she gets an x-ray. 

 

“Looks like a stress fracture.” The doctor tells Pernille after a few minutes of waiting. “As you can probably tell by the name the fracture is caused by an intense amount of stress on the foot and is caused by overuse. From the x-ray it appears you actually have two fractures, one in the second metatarsal and the third metatarsal.” 

“Oh wow, okay.” Pernille is stunned, she wasn’t expecting it to be something this serious. She thought the doctor would just say ice and rest and that she would be good to go in a few days, but it doesn’t seem like this will be like that. “So what are the next steps.” 

“Well generally, we’d put you in a walking boot and crutches and tell you to ice and rest. But, in this case since there’s two fractures and given you’re a professional athlete, my recommendation would be surgery in a week.” 

“Here are some surgeons that I recommend to perform the surgery and let me know if you have any questions.” The doctor leaves and Pernille goes back to the trainer so she can set her up with some crutches and a brace for her foot. 

Pernille is overcome with frustration as she sits in the trainer's room. If she only had got this checked out sooner, it probably wouldn’t have been so bad. Now she’s probably out for a month and a half if she’s lucky. Pernille takes a deep breath. It’s not like this a career ending injury, she’s lucky that it’s nothing more serious than this. It’s going to be okay and she has Magda to help her through it. Everything is going to be fine. She’s deep in thought and doesn’t see that Magda has come into the room, done with practice. 

“Hey Pernille,” Magda says getting Pernilles attention, “Everything alright? What did the doctor say?” 

Pernille explains that she has two seperate stress fractures in her foot and will most likely need surgery. Pernille doesn’t even try to hide her disappointment and she can see in Magdas face that she feels Pernilles disappointment and frustration as well. Magda takes Pernille into her arms and embraces her in a reassuring hug. 

It sucks to be honest, that she’s injured and she’d much rather be playing than watching on the sidelines, but in light of the injury Pernille has been able to see Magda’s soft side. She’s been so good about the whole thing. She thinks of things they can do that will take her mind off of her injury. It ends up being stupid little competitive things like playing cards and they end up getting too much into it, but it’s nice to be able to still be competitive. Magda also makes sure that Pernille is taken care of and is constantly waiting on her which is sweet. Pernille was a little nervous about all this because they’ve only been dating for a few weeks and it is a serious thing, but Magda’s been so sweet through it all. 

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, Magda collides with her own goalkeeper during a scrimmage and is out with a bad knee contusion. 

“Well, looks like we’ll be injured losers together.” Is all Magda says to Pernille, trying to hide her frustration with being injured as well. Although Magda’s injury isn't quite as serious as Pernilles, it’s still an injury though. On the bright side, they are able to talk about how they feel and are able to completely understand each other. It brings them closer too and even though they aren’t able to play, it’s fun to just be on the sidelines with each other and talk and joke around. 


Since Pernille has moved to Sweden, her family hasn’t been able to visit as often. Because she’s injured her mom, dad, and sister decided to come up and visit her, hoping to bring her spirits up. 

Pernille and Magda haven’t really discussed telling anyone about their relationship because they didn’t really feel the need to. They just act like themselves and if people ask they tell them that yes they are dating. They both did agree however, that they were going to wait about telling their families just because they aren’t here a lot and it’s still pretty new. 

Her family hasn’t really asked about relationships or anything in a while since a little after her and her boyfriend broke up and she told them she was focusing on football, so that’s that. But, if they ask she’ll probably just tell them because there’s really no need to lie. 

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Her mom says as they are walking into her apartment. Pernille just picked them up from the airport. 

“Thanks.” She has changed a few things since they have last visited. The walls are now an urban looking white compared to the tan color they were before and Pernille has added lots more pictures of her friends and teammates, many with Magda and Frido. She catches her sister eyeing over the many with Magda and just smiles when her sister looks over at her. 

Pernilles dad admires the apartment as well before clearing his throat. “So Pi I know the season hasn’t officially started and everything and your injured but how’s the team looking so far?” 

Typical dad always wanting to talk football, but Pernilles grateful for the question, which distracts from her sisters prying eyes. 

She nods. “It’s been good. Before I got hurt training was good, I think in general we are all starting to click as a team. I think this season we’ll be in pretty good shape and even better next season.” 

“How’s the foot feeling then?” Her mom interjects. 

“You know it could be better, but the surgery went great and it should be healed up in a few weeks.” Pernille sighs. “So now I’ve just been trying to keep up some strength in the gym while the foot heals.” 

They all talk football for a little while in the living room and analyze the other teams she'll be playing against this year with Linköping. Her dad, mom and sister all played, which makes them very supportive of her career and is nice for when Pernille wants to talk tactics or just needs small advice in general. 

After a while they move to the kitchen and they all help make dinner. Nothing fancy, just some chicken stir fry, a recipe Pernille got from Magda. Every since they first started hanging out, Magda has been teaching Pernille how to cook. Before Magda, Pernille was a terrible cook (she still maybe is terrible, just slightly better, but she can cut tomatoes the right way now!) and so Magda decided she would teach Pernille her ways. 

Pernille cuts the vegetables while her dad prepares the chicken. Her sister, Louise, and her mom are setting up the table. It’s nice all four of them here. She hasn’t got much of this since she left Denmark last year and she’s missed it. She’s very much a family person so it’s been extremely hard to be away. 

She has just finished scooping the stir fry onto the last plate when she hears the front door open. Pernille looks around. Her dad, mom, and sister are all accounted for in the room. She’s confused for a second until she hears a familiar voice. 

“Hey Pernille. You home?” She hears Magda say from the other room. She is pretty sure she told Magda that her family was coming up this weekend, maybe she forgot? This isn’t exactly how she pictured Magda meeting her family, but she's sure it will be fine. Right?! 

“Pernille?” Magda says again when Pernille doesn’t answer. She hears footsteps against the hardwood floor, the sound seeming closer after every step. She looks over and sees three confused faces looking at her when Magda appears from around the corner, smiling. “There you are.” 

Despite the smile on Magdas face, Pernille can tell she's a bit embarrassed when she stops dead in her tracks at the sight of what she’s met with in the kitchen. Yeah it's safe to say she definitely forgot that Pernille told her that her family was coming today. Magdas smile quivers for a second after being taken off guard, but barely lets it show. Magda makes eye contact with Pernille and silently tells her that she’s sorry, but says it out loud as well. 

Looking at Pernille she speaks softly. “Hey, sorry I totally forgot that your family was in town this weekend.” 

Pernille can tell Magda’s a bit uncomfortable and she’s about to go over and comfort her when she remembers who they’re in company with. Pernille can’t help but take in how cute Magda looks right now, her shy face, a bit of blush covering her cheeks and soft voice. Magda notices her staring and raises her eyebrows a bit at her before Pernille answers, remembering again that they aren’t the only ones in the room. 

She gives Magda a soft smile. “No, no it’s okay. I should have texted you this morning.” 

“Oh, no, it's my fault.” Magda says putting her hands behind her back and swinging side to side. “Hi, I’m Magdalena or most people just call me Magda.” She says followed by a nervous laugh. Pernille tries to stifle a laugh and Magda subtly shoots her a look. Magda shakes her parents hands followed by her sister’s as they introduce themselves. They know vaguely who she is, as Pernilles talked about her before, but she’ll definitely have to tease Magda later about how nervous she is. It’s endearing, really. It means she cares a lot and Pernille just wants to go over to Magda and embrace her, but she should probably talk to her family first so they aren’t ambushed. 

Magda puts her hands back at her sides, looking at Pernille for a second. “Um okay I’ll just… I’ll go now. I’ll text you later.” 

“Oh honey,” Pernilles mom says, “we were just about to eat dinner. Pernille why don’t you set another table spot and Magdalena can join us. I’d love to get to know one of your teammates.” 

Magda smiles, but looks at Pernille before answering. Pernille silently tells Magda that it’s okay with her if Magda is alright with it. Pernille is a little nervous about how all this will pan out, but it’s just her family, nothing too bad can happen. 

“Sure, I’d love to. Thanks!” Magda smiles graciously. Pernille sets out another spot at the table next to herself. They all sit and Magda pulls out Pernilles chair for her, which causes her to receive a side eye from her sister. Over dinner, her parents ask Magda the typical parent questions and Magda answers comfortably. They ask her how old she is (20), where she’s from (Stockholm), and if she has any siblings (one sister, Amanda). 

“Guys, really you don’t have to grill her.” Pernille says a bit embarrassed by her parents pressing questions and feeling a bit protective of Magda. 

“What?” Her mom exclaims. “You moved away from home early, so we never really got to do this a lot with your friends. It’s what parents do.” 

“It’s fine, really.” Magda assures her. “By the way, this is really good.” Magda says taking a bite of her stir fry. “Pernille must not have helped make this.” 

“Heeey.” Pernille fake yells dramatically, a little laugh at the end. She knows Magda is joking, but plays along. 

“She actually did, but I’m surprised she knew how to cut the vegetables.” Louise tells Magda, laughing along as well. 

“I'm not that bad at cooking.” Pernille says, now a little offended. 

“I beg to differ Pernille.” Her mother now joins in. “You never wanted to help me in the kitchen and when you did you were helpless. I ended up having to do everything over again on my own.” 

“I won’t say you guys aren't wrong, but you’re definitely over exaggerating.” Pernille huffs out. She can’t believe her girlfriend and her whole family are ganging up on her. 

“I’m not going to say anything.” Her dad holds up his hands. “But I will say I was pleasantly surprised when you offered to cook dinner and actually knew what you were doing.” 

Everyone but Pernille is laughing now. Pernille fake pouts, but ends up cracking a smile as well. “Well you can thank Magda for that.” 

“Well, I won’t take all the credit, Pernille is a fast learner, but on second thought yeah it was all my doing.” Magda jokes back and Pernilles family laughs once more. They spend the remainder of dinner talking and joking around. It’s nice, it’s normal. She’s glad that her family can get to know Magda before finding out their dating, maybe that will help with the awkwardness since they’ll already know her. 

After dinner Pernille is in the kitchen with her mom cleaning the dishes. Magda offered to help, but her mom shooed her away and said she was a guest. What her mom doesn’t know is that she is more of a guest than Magda (since Magda is here basically everyday), but that would be a lot of explaining. So now Magda is in the other room with her dad and sister and Pernille hopes they aren’t scaring her away. 

“So Magda seems like a nice girl.” Her mom pauses from drying a plate, and looks over at her. Pernilles not sure if her mind is playing with her or not but she thinks she saw a hint of a smirk. 

“Yeah she’s great. Me, her, and Fridolina, I think I’ve mentioned her before, have become really close.” Her mom just nods and they continue to wash the dishes in a comfortable silence. It’s not like she doesn’t want to tell her mom about her and Magda, it’s just she is a little nervous about actually telling them. She knows it won’t be a problem, but that doesn’t make it any less nerve racking. 

Once they have finished washing and drying the dishes, they go out to the living room and join her dad, her sister, and Magda. Pernille and her mom walk into the room to find them in a fit of laughter over some story her dad was telling from when Pernille was younger. Apparently it’s making fun of Pernille day, at least they all seem to be getting along and Magda is fitting in pretty nicely with her family. 

“What’s going on out here?” 

They look over at Pernille and Magda bursts out laughing. “I was telling them about how your always falling at practice and well everywhere else. I asked them if you were always like that.” 

“And…” her dad continues, “I told Magda the story about when you worked so hard decorating that cake for your 12th birthday and then you went to the kitchen to bring it out, only to drop it frosting side down onto the floor. And we even had to go and get a store bought one so you’d stop crying.” 

“Oh my God,” Pernilles eyes widen, “I can’t believe you told Magda that story it’s so embarrassing and you guys haven’t let me live that down since. I’m honestly still traumatized.” 

“Ha well it’s a funny story.” Louise says and Magda nods agreeing with her. When their done laughing (and making fun of Pernille), she goes over to the couch that Magda is sitting on and plops down next to her, Magda’s arm subconsciously going around the back of the couch out of habit. Pernille scooches a little closer to Magda to make room for her mom. 

“So Pernille tells us your out with an injury as well.” Her dad asks. The question directed to Magda. 

“Yeah, nothing as bad as Pernilles though, just a little bump to my knee from a collision with our keeper.” Magda smiles and turns her head to look at Pernille. She’s looking at her so softly she’s sure her family probably feels like they are intruding a private moment. “But don’t worry we are taking care of each other.” 

“Yeah I bet you are.” Her sister remarks. Pernille turns her way and is about to say something snarky but bites her tongue and instead just narrows her eyes towards Louise. Magda seems to be blushing as well before Pernilles mother offers a distraction. 

“Why don’t we play a game? We could play cards.” 

“Oh boy, I’m not sure that that’s a good idea.” Pernille replies, looking at Magda and nodding her head towards her. “This one gets quite competitive.” 

“Oh stop it.” Magda playfully hits Pernille on the arm. “I’m not that bad.” 

Pernille just laughs and rolls her eyes as she gets up to get the cards from the cupboard. It’s all really domestic. Magda and her hanging out with her family. She fits really well with them, which is a good thing because she hopes that whoever she is in a relationship with gets along with her family. It’s good. This is a good thing. 

They play cards for awhile and Pernille is not surprised Magda doesn’t hold back her competitiveness with Pernilles family. Magda and her sister even get into a little tussle, but they are laughing about it five minutes later. After a few games Magda checks her phone. 

“Hey guys I should probably get going, it’s getting late.” Pernilles family replies with collective what’s and no’s. Normally Magda would stay over here with Pernille, but tonight that’s probably not the best idea. 

“Well it was great to meet you.” Pernilles mom, dad, and sister say it unison. 

“Yes you guys too. I’m sure I’ll see you again before you leave or soon I’m sure.” 

“I’ll walk you out.” Pernille offers, avoiding her sisters eye contact. Magda nods, grabbing her jacket. They walk out and Pernille closes the apartment door. 

“I’m sorry I actually did forget they were coming today.” Magda says right as Pernille closes the door. 

“Magda. It’s okay, of course it’s okay. I wanted you to meet my family at some point and honestly it’s probably better you guys met before they know we’re dating.” Pernille comforts her while pulling her into a hug. They break apart after a moment or two, Pernille realizing it will probably be suspicious if she’s out here too long. 

“Well I’ll let you go back to your family.” Pernile would rather have Magda stay here in this moment with her, but she’s right, she should probably get going. “Thanks for dinner. And just in case you don’t know you’re pretty amazing and so is your family.” 

Pernille finds herself blushing. No matter how many times Magda tells her things like this, she feels like the luckiest girl in the world. Magda leans in and gives Pernille a soft kiss. Once Magda’s lips are on hers the whole world disappears, family on the other side of the door forgotten. 

They break apart out of breathe, the kiss lasting longer than both had expected. “Text me when you get home.” 

“Of course.” Magda says before placing one more kiss on her lips. 

When Pernille opens the door and walks back to the living room, her parents are gone and must have gone to the spare room to get ready for bed. Her sister is the only one remaining. 

“So.” 

“So…” 

“You and Magda are dating. Tell me everything.”