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Bold of You to Assume (i'm not in love with u)

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The day of the article release

“Let’s go again from the top.” The producer instructs.

Jeongguk nods as he adjusts his headphones. He clears his throat, takes a deep breath and starts again, but he stops mid-verse and bites his bottom lip in frustration.

“Try again.” The producer directs as he starts the track from the beginning.

Jeongguk curses under his breath, nods and tries again and again, and again.

The producer signals for him to take off his headphones and presses a button so Jeongguk can hear his voice in the studio. “You okay?”

“Yeah, uhm…” Jeongguk drags a hand down his face. “I’m fine, I’ll try again.”

The producer eyes him worriedly before twirling his finger signaling for Jeongguk to go again. Jeongguk takes a deep breath, he closes his eyes and tries to push out the thoughts in his head. Thoughts which center around his conversation with Jimin from the day before.

He’s always trying to protect us, why does he put so much pressure on himself? Jeongguk thinks as his grip on the headset tightens. He hasn’t texted since then or called. Shit.

“Jeongguk,” the producer calls again.

Jeongguk looks up.

“Why don’t we take a break?”

Jeongguk begins to protest but decides against it. With a slight nod of his head, he slides the headset off and rushes out of the studio and into the hall. He promptly falls onto one of the benches and buries his face in his hands. They’re supposed to be recording the title song of their new album, but Jeongguk’s been in the studio since 7am and he’s only completed the first couple of verses. It’s unlike him to take several recordings, usually he’s done in one take.

“Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk looks up and is met with Seokjin’s inquiring gaze.

“What’re you doing out here?”

Jeongguk slides over to make room for him on the bench. “Taking a fifteen.”

“Why?” Seokjin settles down beside him. “That’s unlike you.”

Jeongguk snorts, “I know right…a lot of things have been unlike me lately.”

Seokjin’s eyebrows furrow as he takes in Jeongguk’s distraught expression. “It’s because of Jimin, isn’t it?” he questions lightly.

Jeongguk chews on his bottom lip opting to remain silent.

“You can talk to me—any of us for that matter.” Seokjin adds. “We’re rooting for you both.”

“You are and so is everyone else…everyone aside from my boyfriend.” Jeongguk mutters.

“Jeongguk you know that’s not true; you know he wants the best for both of you.” Seokjin assures as he rests a hand to Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Honestly…he’s looking out for your best interest.”

“And that’s what I hate.” Jeongguk mutters.

This statement baffles Seokjin, so much so that his grip on Jeongguk loosens and he leans back to peer at him questionably. “I’m confused…why would you…” he straightens up. “Why would you hate that?”

Jeongguk lifts his head and stares into Seokjin’s eyes. “Hyung, Jimin and I always talk about going public, our relationship lately seems to revolve around that topic and sometimes, when he says that he’s trying to protect me—us—all I hear is that he doesn’t trust me.”

“Jeongguk…”

“Like…like he doesn’t trust the strength of our relationship.” Jeongguk chews anxiously on his bottom lip as millions of thoughts fly through his head. The same thoughts from yesterday and even from a year ago. Can we really last? Can Jimin and I really make it through this?

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Yep. Loud and clear.” Jeongguk replies flatly.

Seokjin sighs, “You think Jimin doesn’t trust you? The same Jimin who blindly supported you years before he knew you as Jeongguk? The same Jimin who timidly asks us about you during music shows and tells us things that’ll lift your spirits when he can’t reach you.”

“Hyun—”

“No, no, let me finish because what you and Jimin have only comes once in a lifetime Jeongguk and I would hate, I would hate,” Seokjin emphasizes. “for you to lose that.”

Jeongguk presses his lips together as Seokjin’s words weigh heavily on his mind. He has a point, as he always does and Jeongguk knows that. He knows Jimin only wants what’s best for them, but part of him can’t help but want more.

“I just…I think about all the things we’ve done as BTS and what we’ve accomplished with our Love Yourself Campaign and UNICEF and I want to bring the same amount of change with Jimin.” Jeongguk rambles. “I want people to see us and think: ‘wow…I can love whoever I want to love.’ I want them to feel free.”

“I get that Jeongguk and I respect it, but…it’s not that easy.” Seokjin stares blankly at the wall across from them as he reminisces about their trainee days. “You see how long it took us to get to where we are now.”

“I know it takes time.”

“You say that, but I honestly don’t think you get it.” He turns to meet Jeongguk’s gaze again. “You want to bring change to the world, but have you stopped to think about what Jimin wants? Have you thought about how such change will affect his life?”

And then it hits Jeongguk. Realization knocks him hard in the chest as he brings a trembling hand up to his mouth. Jimin’s life…Jimin’s life is full of opportunity and growth, peaceful mornings and hectic nights as he studies into the darkest hours. It’s during those hours as Jeongguk’s rehearsing for performance after performance that Jimin chooses to text him encouraging messages. Messages full of sarcasm and love, messages for Jeongguk’s eyes only. Messages Jimin has taken the time to write when he could be studying. He does all of that and more because he loves Jeongguk.

Jimin’s quiet life. The life he’s worked his ass off to build, could crumble down so easily with the mention of Jeongguk’s name alongside his.

“Shit.” He whispers. “I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stu…well, maybe just a little.” Seokjin cracks.

Jeongguk shoves him in the shoulder before jumping to his feet. “I have to go back in the studio, but I’ll contact Jimin the second I’m done.”

Seokjin flashes a soft smile as he slowly raises a thumbs up. “Atta boy.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes expressing his distaste with Seokjin’s choice of words before slipping inside the studio.

 

<3

 

“Sooooo,” Taehyung begins as he stares back at Jimin who’s mindlessly swirling his chopsticks around his plate. “you had a fight?”

“No…not…”

Taehyung makes an “oh really” face which causes his left eyebrow to shoot up high on his forehead.

Jimin sighs, “Okay, we got into an argument.”

“A fight.”

“It wasn’t a fight, Tae, we just…disagreed.”

“Uh-huh.”

Jimin’s chopsticks clatter against his plate as he clenches his hands into a fist. “He just…he doesn’t get it.”

“Maybe there’s nothing to get.” Taehyung replies.

“You don’t understand, yesterday when I said we should take a break he got so…. triggered.”

Taehyung laughs.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, no, sorry, but honey, listen.” Taehyung reaches over and covers Jimin’s hands with his own. “If my boyfriend of nearly two years, the man I love with every fiber of my being said we should take a break…I’d be a little triggered too.”

“I said it because I felt uneasy at the time.” Jimin explains.

“Did you tell him that?”

Jimin runs a hand through his hair. “I tried but then he started rambling about posting on Twitter and coming out to his fans and I shut him down.”

“How did you shut him down?”

“I just…”

“Jimin…” Taehyung presses.

Jimin shifts his gaze and stares blankly at the food on his plate. “I told him it was stupid.”

“Ouch.”

“And I apologized because that was mean.”

“It was.” Taehyung agrees pulling his hand away and leaning back in his chair.

“He’s just so sensitive and kind and a little…naïve.”

“And you want to protect him.” Taehyung concludes. “Is that it?”

“Yes and no.”

“He’s a grown ass man, Jimin.”

“I know.”

“You can’t protect him.”

“I know that too.” Jimin’s foot begins to tap anxiously against the hardwood floor.

“He can protect himself.” Taehyung continues.

“I know, Tae.” The tapping continues.

“Just trust him.”

Jimin swallows, “I want to.”

“Then do it.”

“It’s not…” Jimin releases a shaky breath. “It’s not that easy.”

Taehyung leans forward, “Why?”

“Because…”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Why, Jimin?”

TAP. TAP. TAP

“Hm?”

“Because I’m scared!” Jimin exclaims and the tapping stops.

Taehyung stares at Jimin wide-eyed.

“I’m scared…”

Taehyung notices Jimin’s shaking hands and in lightning speed, he jumps up from his seat and rushes to Jimin’s side. “I’m sorry.” He says quickly. “I didn’t mean to take it that far.”

Jimin brushes it off, “I know.” He laughs. “It kinda helped.”

Taehyung gently threads his fingers through Jimin’s hair while holding him close.

“I guess I’m still emotionally scarred from my previous relationship.” Jimin confesses.

“Have you talked to Jeongguk about him? Your ex?”

“I mean…” Jimin tilts his head back to meet Taehyung’s gaze. “A little.”

Taehyung playfully boops him on the nose. “Talk to him about it and go from there.” He walks around the table and settles back in the chair with a loud groan. “Obviously he loves you. So just be honest.”

“Yeah…well,” Jimin claps his hands as he jumps to his feet. “Since I don’t have class until another two hours, I’m gonna chill in my room.”

“Do whatever.” Taehyung shoos him off.

Jimin gathers his dishes and quickly tosses them into the sink to clean later before slipping into his bedroom. He closes the door behind him, and dives face first into his pillows. He snuggles against them and inhales deeply. It smells like him. Keeping his hold on a pillow, he sits up and clutches the pillow close to his chest. He fumbles a bit for his laptop but manages to flip it open and log into his YouTube account.

There’s several comments since the last time he uploaded which was a few days ago. Most of them pertain to his song selection (which is in the video for fucks sake) while others are thirsting over Jeongguk.

babydepth: step onMEEEE pls

imonlyhereforbts: -insert woman tying hair and knee brace meme-

Jimin smirks at that one.

hopeworldian: he literally goes from 0 to 100 like WTF

hopeworldian: also, can I **** his ****

Jimin snorts because he did that just last week—amongst other things. He doesn’t read comments often because there was a point where he received hate for editing Jeongguk a “certain way.” So-called fans deemed his edits “gross” and ranted on and on about what Jeongguk would think if he saw such edits.

xxxx: this is gross. Jeongguk wouldn’t like this

xxxx2: you should stop…ew

  1. Jimin knows what Jeongguk thinks about his edits
  2. Jeongguk’s a lot kinkier than his fans realize and
  3. Jeongguk’s his own person

Jimin sighs deeply as he goes through hearting comments that make him laugh and replying to a few that are worth his time. He goes to press heart on another comment but somehow accidentally ends up refreshing the page. He curses under his breath as the page reloads and surprisingly there’s several more comments beneath his latest video.

Jjk1: is this him?

Jungkook’s_bby: he’s a fan?????

Reactor101: whaaaaaaat?????

There’s also new comments beneath his latest livestream:

Sadgirl: he’s kinda cute tho

Alexlincoln: mayb it’s not him

Jimin’s eyes flicker across the screen at lightning speed as new comments come flooding in.

who does he think he is??

i like his eyes

his lips are pretty too

oh my god are they fxcvking each other???

oppa would never

there’s no way jungkook’s gay

I’D GO GAY FOR THIS GUY wtf

“What…” Jimin’s heart kicks up in speed. “what the hell?”

ilovehobi: I found his insta~

Jimin’s heart drops. What’s going on? Suddenly his phone goes off with notifications from Instagram and his door flies open. He turns to face the door and stares at Taehyung who’s staring back at him with a frantic expression and heaving chest.

“Jimin…”

“What?”

Taehyung walks silently towards him and points to his laptop. “Give me that.”

“What? Why? You’re scaring me.” Jimin pushes his pillow aside and holds his laptop protectively in his arms.

“Okay, fine, just…” Taehyung starts pacing back and forth. “You can pause comments on YouTube, right?”

“I can restrict them…” Jimin replies. “Why?” his eyebrows furrow.

Taehyung doesn’t reply instead he sits on the edge of the bed beside Jimin.

“Taehyung what’s going on?”

“Uhm,” Taehyung gnaws on his bottom lip as he contemplates how he should tell Jimin what he saw without causing him to freak out.

“Spit it out, Tae.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath as he slides his phone out of his jean pocket. “Someone…someone took a photo.” He begins slowly.

“Okay, and?”

Taehyung swallows, “They…they know, Jimin.”

Suddenly Jimin’s back in his senior year of high school and staring at his parents who he had just come out to. That dread, anxiety, fear and heartache knocks the breath out of him like it did all those years ago.

“They know about you and Jeongguk.” Taehyung finishes.

 

<3

 

Approximately thirty minutes later, Jeongguk’s back at the dorm, showered and exhausted. Luckily, he was able to finish the recording with one take (much to the producer’s pleasure) and was sent to the dorm until their next schedule at four.

Jeongguk slips into his room and falls face first into his bed. The first person on his mind is Jimin. I need to make things right. He pats himself down in search of his phone and his expression brightens when he sees that Jimin messaged him.

He calls me baby

Gguk…are u at the dorm???

Gguk

Yeah, I just got back

Gguk

I was just about to txt u : )

He calls me baby

Check Naver

Gguk

No hi, how’s your day…. : ((

He calls me baby

Just pls…check

Gguk

…okay…?

Jeongguk exits out of his messenger and opens up Naver. Written across the top of the page is his name.

BTS’ JEON JUNGKOOK INVOLVED IN POSSIBLE DATING SCANDAL.

“…the fuck.” He exhales as he clicks on the article. The page instantly loads, and a dark photo takes over his screen. It’s a bad photo—dark and their faces are barely recognizable, but Jeongguk knows. With just one look at the photo he knows.

He calls me baby

gguk…this is bad

He calls me baby

jeongguk

He calls me baby

they found out where I work?????

He calls me baby

they got my fucking number?????

He calls me baby

i’m scared wtf

He calls me baby

what do we do???

He calls me baby

fuck…no…FUCK

Jeongguk looks to the photo on his computer screen and takes a deep breath as he texts Jimin back.

Gguk

Are you home?

He calls me baby

Yeah, I’m with tae

Gguk

Good, great

He calls me baby

What do we do?? I’m trying not to freak out but that’s hard to do when millions of people are flooding my insta with insults and questions and other bs

Gguk

I’m so sorry, angel

 

Gguk

I’m sorry

He calls me baby

You’re not to blame, baby, I know that

He calls me baby

I just thought we would have more time to think about what to do….

“Shit.” Jeongguk mutters. He never wanted it to happen like this—rushed and unexpected and so wrong. Every part of him wanted this to happen differently and maybe it still can.

He calls me baby

What do we do, Jeongguk…?

Gguk

We…be honest

He calls me baby

What does that mean Jeongguk?

Jeongguk takes a deep breath because what he’s about to do will most definitely change his life and how his fans view him. Some may think it selfish; others may applaud his strength and label him as brave. He might lose fans and amidst it all, he may gain a few. He opens Twitter, logs onto the official BTS account and creates his first post in a long time.

Within seconds, the retweets, comments and likes hit the thousands. Jeongguk reaches for his phone and calls Jimin.

“Hello?” Jimin answers immediately and Jeongguk is quick to pick up on the tremor in his voice.

“Angel,” he exhales. “I wish I could be with you right now.”

“I’m okay, just a little freaked out.” Jimin replies, he forces himself to laugh, but it resonates hollowly.

“You don’t need to lie to me, Jimin, it’s okay to not be okay.”

Jimin laughs again, “I know that, I’m keeping up a strong front for your sake because I know you, Gguk…I know you’ll blame yourself for this.”

Jeongguk presses his lips together as he tries to figure out what their next steps are. Obviously, Bighit’s going to call for a meeting…but what’s after that?

“Jeongguk,”

“Yeah?”

“What did you post on Twitter?” Jimin hesitantly questions.  When a response doesn’t come, Jimin asks again. “What did you post, Jeongguk?”

“Just a…a photo of when we went out to the park that day when it was raining.”

April 17, 2018

“I thought you said you checked the forecast?” Jimin mutters, arms crossed, and lips rolled out cutely.

“Well, you see what had happened…” Jeongguk begins but Jimin shushes him with an assertive glare.

With a sigh, Jimin reaches for Jeongguk’s hand on the steering wheel. “The rain sucks, but we can still have fun…I’m just happy to be with you.” He softly uses a finger to trace a heart on Jeongguk’s wrist.

Jeongguk’s eyes widen as he takes in Jimin’s quickly reddening cheeks and downcast eyes. “God, you’re so precious.” He blurts.

Jimin simpers, “I know.”

Jeongguk scoffs but leans over to steal a kiss.

Initially, they planned for a park date to relieve the stress of Jimin’s final exams and Jeongguk’s comeback showcase chaos. However, in his haste, Jeongguk checked the forecast for tomorrow instead of today.

The kiss escalates into something more intense as Jeongguk’s hands find solace in Jimin’s hair, he tugs gently and Jimin whines into his mouth. Which edges Jeongguk on to do more; his hands slide from Jimin’s hair to his nape and then lower.

Jimin kisses Jeongguk one last time before pulling away. “No, no, nope, not today, sir.”

Jeongguk sucks on his bottom lip and tightly grips the steering wheel as he gathers himself. Once he’s tucked his libido away, he says, “You know we haven’t seen each other for nearly two months.”

 “I know and with good reason.” Jimin flips the mirror down to adjust his hair.

Jeongguk watches Jimin as he fluffs and tucks his hair and decides now wouldn’t be an appropriate time to have the conversation he has in mind. So, he rolls down the car window and sticks a hand out.

“It’s slowing down.” He says softly.

Jimin turns away from his reflection and looks outside. “It is.”

They simultaneously turn to each other and with one look in the eye, they instantly understand. It’s how things usually go between them—they speak with their eyes and with gestures and are immediately understood by one another.

Jimin is the first to step out of the car and Jeongguk follows his lead. They stand beneath the rain and look up to the slowly brightening sky.

“It’s beautiful.” Jimin murmurs as gentle drops of rain glisten in his hair.

Jeongguk walks around the car to stand beside Jimin, he slides an arm around his shoulder and Jimin naturally leans into him. “You know what they say about couples who stand in the rain together and see a rainbow together…?” Jeongguk abruptly begins.

And just to humor him, Jimin asks, “What?”

“They stay together.”

Jimin rolls his eyes but he’s laughing because no matter how cheesy or cliché Jeongguk is, he knows Jeongguk does it to make him smile.  

“But where’s our rainbow?” Jimin questions.

Present

“Remember how the rainbow popped out after you asked me that?”

“Yeah…but what does that have to do wi—”

“I posted a photo of the rainbow, Jimin.” Jeongguk says. “That’s what I posted to Twitter.”

Jimin’s silent for a few seconds before a soft “oh” escapes his lips.

Jeongguk starts to respond but suddenly the door to his room slams open.

Hoseok’s standing in the doorway with horror and dread written all over his face. “They called us in for a meeting.”

“Wait, what?” Jimin’s voice echoes from the phone causing Hoseok to gawk.

“You’re talking to Jimin? Is he okay?”

Jeongguk nods, “Freaked out but Tae’s with him.”

“Good, uhm,” Hoseok swallows. “we have to go.”

“Okay, Jimin I’ll call you later.”

“Call me when you can, okay?”

Jeongguk smiles softly, “Okay.”

When the line clicks, Jimin tucks his phone away and looks up dazedly at Taehyung.

“What? Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just thinking…” Jimin idly fidgets with the tear of his jeans.

“About…wait!” Taehyung holds up a hand. “If you dare say breaking up, I’ll punch you right now.”

“If I end things with him then…then he’ll have a chance to—”

Taehyung punches him in the chest lightly but with enough force for Jimin to choke up.

“We just finished talking about this, Jimin.”

“I know but I could ruin everything for him.” Jimin clutches his chest. “This article alone is about to fuck everything up.”

“And how do you know that?” Taehyung points to Jimin’s laptop where comments are still flooding in. “How do you know that this’ll ruin him? It could make him stronger, hell, call me crazy but maybe he’s rejoicing because he doesn’t have to hide something as beautiful as you and something as precious as the relationship between you two.”

Jimin rips off a loose piece of fabric from his jeans and tosses it aside as emotions continue to build inside him.

“Let today pass before you decide anything.” Taehyung adds patting Jimin on his thigh.

Jimin allows this to sink in before making a grab for his phone, but Taehyung beats him to it. “Tae, what the hell?”

“Promise me.” Taehyung holds the phone away from Jimin’s grasping hands.

“What?” Jimin snaps.

“Mute your comments, okay?”

Jimin rolls his eyes, “I can handle a few comments.”

“I know you can, that’s why I’m telling you to mute them for the sake of Jeongguk’s fans.” Taehyung tosses Jimin his phone back. “Save them the humiliation.”

Jimin catches his phone with a laugh. “Oh, come on, I’ve been dying for a little stress release.” He jokes, but his smile falters.

Taehyung stares at him, his brown eyes full of warmth yet they penetrate so deep.

Jimin shrinks in on himself because Taehyung always sees through him so easily.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Taehyung pulls him into a side hug.

Jimin melts into his arms while nodding. “Okay.”

 

<3

 

The ride up on the elevator is suffocating to say the least; all five members of BTS are crunched inside with numerous thoughts are their minds.

Hoseok sighs, “When was the last time we were called up for something like this?”

“Two years ago.” Yoongi deadpans. “They caught Namjoon, Namjooning with his aunt and articles were released saying it was his girlfriend.”

Seokjin snorts, “I remember that.”

“It was lowkey funny.” Jeongguk murmurs.

“Lowkey scary too.” Namjoon says flatly.

The elevator dings and they file out into the hallway. Namjoon leads the way with his shoulders pushed back and head high. He always goes into meetings like this with such confidence.

“You can love who you love, and no one should have control over that.” He so coolly said to Jeongguk one night.  

Once they reach the conference room, Namjoon flashes them an easy-going smile as if to say: “We’ll be alright.” Before opening the door.