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Interview With Val Kilmer’s Catalogue.

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If you could time travel back to a certain point in your life, your cannon, what would it be and why?

Nick Rivers: Spending the night in the round with Hillary. Swinging from chandeliers and dancing atop of pianos. Converting a bunch of communists to hardcore rock and roll fans. I did well.

Chris Knight: I’m always down for more in-house iceskating, popcorn, anything laser related. Or me and Mitch at Hathaway’s trial. That was perfection. I need to not adult and I will survive. Blah, blah, blah, ‘moral imperative’ and all that, it’s an overplayed joke.

Lt. Tom “Iceman” Kazansky: Summer ’86. I would force my younger self into just telling Maverick how I felt. Tell him right then and there that it wasn’t just about the competition. Or intimidating him, showing off that we all knew I was the superior pilot. I’d tell him what I really thought of his flying. I’d force myself to properly comfort him after Goose and just blurt out that I’d fallen hard in love with him from that first glance. I wish that I didn’t fret so much about the consequences and feared losing my wings. I’d tell my younger self to ensure to not let the time slip away from us.

Madmartigan: Infiltrating my Sorsha’s tent as she slept, spitting poetry of the sun and whatever the hell else I said. And more of the love drugs. Plus sword fights in the snow.

Jack Andrews: The time my wife drowned or the time that two faced b**ch who pretended to be my lover was driven into a fuel tank?

Jim Morrison: I don’t remember my life.. it must’a happened durin’ one of my black outs.

Elvis: *I could be so lonely, I would die* But not lonely enough to stalk that poor Clarence. He really had-a weird thing for me. Stay smooth.

Ray Levoi: The stronghold. The crossroads. Need I say anymore?

Doc Holliday: Mattie. I’d revisit our little time together, all pure and sacred. I never would have let my maiden go. And Wyatt, our cherished times together. I could never choose just one singular time.

J.T: Soakin’ Karen and Dominic with the hose. Getting to Rio with Karen and the money. Rio all over ‘gain

Chris Shiherlis: The days before me and Charlene fought, about everything. Before she had Dominic.

Bruce Wayne: Meetings with Chase. Not psychiatrist appointments. Uninterrupted by.. you know, work.

BatVal: Impressing chicks with the car. Hanging from things. Dropping out of the sky. Bat suit-up montage.

John Patterson: When Helena finally made it to Africa. I’d never tire of holding my son high.

Montgomery: The days of gettin’ on a ship, stabbing people with needles. Shovin’ flowers in my mouth. All good things in hot places that I could run around in a skirt.

Simon Templar: Emma. Watching her Cold Fusion theory become a reality, that light beam over Moscow. Waking up with Emma. Just being able to have her to myself in the countryside. The list goes on and on.

Virgil Adamson: When me and Amy would listen to the rain. Or when she thought I could see.

Robby Gallagher: Anything that involves me and Commander Bowman, getting frisky in an ejection pod.

Tom Van Allen: Liz. My darling, Liz. Falling in love with her all over again.

Danny Parker: Ha! Are you f***ing serious? I’m meant to want to go back and enjoy my pitiful sh** show of a life?

Perry Van Shrike: The days when Harry was failing at everything. When we were still ‘fag and New-Yorker’ not ‘fag and wannabe LA PI dipsh**.’