The clock shows 2 am.
In five hours they have to get up. They will shower, shave, and dress to leave LA behind and fly back to Vancouver.
In five hours they will go back to their second family. Going back to the routine that has dictated their lives for such a long time. Make-up, hairdresser, set, ready, quiet and action. He tries to block the feelings crawling in his stomach, cold fingers twisting him from the inside.
He can’t hear it anymore. The whole day he tries to keep that smile. They all ask the same.
„How do you feel? What will change? Why did you decide to quit? Is it painful? Do you want to come back?“
They wouldn’t understand.
He turns on his side in his hotel bed. The air conditioner is running and sending waves of cool air over his naked body. The thin bed sheet covers his legs.
The music is still playing.
It never stops from the moment they enter the room.
The dim light of the small lamp at the desk is painting the room in a golden yellow light. His shadow darkens the other side of his bed.
„What will you take home from the set after the last scene ?“
He gives his perfect smile.
What do they want to hear ?
Baby, for sure, she is his . Dean’s boots because he is Dean Winchester and nobody else will ever walk in them.
He looks down beneath him.
The honest answer?
His hand runs down Jared's back. His fingers trace every inch of his naked body. His eyes try to memorize every little bit of him.
He will take home the love of his life.
His lips wander over Jared's shoulderblades . He trails soft kisses over his warm skin.
They made love when they got back to their room. Just skin on skin. With every move of his hips, he feels more like himself. Jared’s eyes are watching him, dark, full of lust and trust. Layer after layer peels off of him while he sinks into Jared. Connected, home, safe.
Here in this room there was no place for a fake 'camera smile,' no room for PR. No need for this - ok a little over the edge, but recognizable- fashion outfit (or as Jared called it „Cuban Pimp on cocaine“) Here, he lays naked on top of the man who was just a boy when they met.
I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
When Ed Sheeran's song started to play, his lips were still on Jared's back. His fingers slide down on this sweet spot just over his ass. He feels Jared's heart. The sound of every beat gives him the peace he has enjoyed for such a long time. He is tired. Directing, acting, smiling. He loves his job, but it takes a toll.
„You’re not 20 anymore.“ Jared has told him too many times.
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Jensen pushes the sheets down. His fingers dance over Jared’s ass. Goosebumps show up as he circles each cheek. He looks at the tanned skin, how it changes under his touch.
It was never just sex. They were never just horny boys with too much time away from home.
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine
Jared shifts under him.
Their eyes meet. They never needed to say much.
In this world where everything you say will be rewritten and quoted, words are weapons. They are used to hiding. They chose this path. Together. But they could never hold back their feelings when their eyes met. It’s like their souls are shining out of them.
Jared’s hand touches his face, brings it to him to place a kiss on his lips. Soft. Like a promise .
He knows him too well. He sees behind his smile. He always has, from the very first day. When he tries to hide his insecurity behind sarcasm. The shy boy that hides behind ambition and perfection. It took one look and Jared saw him. And he never needed to hide again.
His fingers find Jared's. He holds his hand while he sings to Jared's lips.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
He doesn’t want to think about the last day.
He doesn’t want to talk about leaving friends and memories behind.
He has to face this soon enough.
He wants to feel this moment.
Here and now.
Because this .. this here