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Hatred/A little death

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Sehun had never been the one to envy others. He never actually envied anyone. Not because he thought he had it all, but because he had always been satisfied with what he had. So, even if it should have been a surprise for him to feel jealous because of someone else, it wasn't.


He didn't question himself when he started hating Luhan, that eye-catching bundle of joy everyone seemed to be so fond of – yes, eye-catching. The kid was pretty, with his small frame and sparkling eyes, but Sehun didn't really bother thinking of him. He had known the kid for about five years and he was still able to get under his skin like no other and not in a good way.


Why had Luhan invaded his thoughts again? It was unnecessary to think of useless things – that was exactly what that kid was, a useless piece of stupidity.


A stupid baby-faced idiot.


It seemed to be quite hard to pull Sehun out of his reflective reverie once he started because his friends had been trying to get his attention for a while and he hadn't noticed. Philosophy class was over, and he had been sitting in the classroom like a fool, for only God knows how long.


‘’You really are scaring me, Sehun. If you don't get out of this weird depressed state, I'm gonna make a call, and you are not going to like it!’’, said Baekhyun, one of his best friends, (please someone remind Sehun why) with a mischievous grin on his lips.


‘’I'm not depressed, don't be ridiculous. I just spaced out, it's a common teenage thing. You can Google it.’’ His backpack was super heavy on that day, and this whole chitchat was making his head hurt.


Chanyeol, his other best friend cackled like a mad man, as usual. "I think Baek is right, you've been like this for a while now. What's gotten your panties in a twist?" The taller of the three questioned, as they started making their way to the cafeteria to have lunch.


‘’Ooh, I think I know. It's Luhan, isn't it?’’ Baekhyun smirked. ‘’I don't get why you two still fight so much. He's super nice!’’


‘’Nice my ass,’’ Sehun grumbled.


Chanyeol shrugged. ‘’He's nice to everyone else.’’


‘’You're joking, right? This shit has been going on for years already. Whatever.'' Sehun huffed. ''I don't like him. He smiles too much, it's irritating. No one really sees through his act, you know? But I do. Luhan is conceited and dumb and he thinks everyone always has to go at his pace – that the whole fucking world revolves around him. He pisses me off.’’ Just thinking of the older boy made Sehun roll his eyes.


‘’You know what, bro? I'm actually rethinking what Baek just said. You need to get some chick, like now. Or what about that boy you slept with a couple of months ago, what was his name?’’


‘’And why do you think I need to get laid? I'm going to do so anyway, but not because of this shit.’’


‘’'Cause you look, I don't know, upset and tense too. It may help you lift your mood.’’ Chanyeol reasoned, making Baekhyun giggle playfully, only to throw his arms in the air in surrender when Sehun glared his way.


Just as he was about to reply, a familiar mop of blonde hair caught his eye. Luhan was leaning on his locker, laughing at something Yoona – a girl from their year had just said. The smaller one's friends, Jongin and Kyungsoo were there as well, and the perfect picture made Sehun's features stiffen. Luhan seemed genuinely happy, despite his slightly busted lip, and you could hardly guess he had gotten into such a big brawl with Oh Sehun just a couple days ago.


Before Sehun could even realize it, his shoulders squared as he made his way towards Luhan. Baekhyun's ‘’Damn it, Hun! What are you doing?’’ being forgotten. Kyungsoo and Jongin waved goodbye to their friend, Yoona staying just a little longer to beam sweetly at Luhan, before leaving as well. Sehun snorted at that.


‘’I'm surprised you're walking, princess.’’ Said a smirking Sehun, as he passed by Luhan. He pushed the smaller one away with his shoulder, effectively causing him to stumble.


‘’Ah, it's you. Always so childish and let's not forget annoying.’’ Luhan huffed. He opened his locker and rummaged through it pretending to ignore the taller.


‘’You flatter me, babe,’’ said Sehun, beaming cynically.


‘’You’re so disrespectful, awfully so. I'm your senior, you know?’’


‘’Aw, little Lu, tell me, do I look like I care? A little thing like you shouldn't go around expecting for respect.’’ He snickered, facing Luhan in a mockingly.


‘’You're impossible, who do you think you're talking to?’’ Luhan’s patience was already running out. His hands turned into fists and he stepped closer to Sehun until he could feel the younger's warm breath.


‘’What? Is little Hannie going to hit me?’’ Sehun asked as he raised his eyebrows while his lips curved into a wicked smile. ‘’Give it a try, darling,’’ He winked at the older.


Luhan quickly threw himself on Sehun and tackled him to the ground, as a crowd started to gather around them. He could be beautiful, but his fists could still throw punches. However, the taller one managed to overpower him, and through pants and frustrated groans, he moved on top of Luhan, attempting to hold him still.


Luhan was faster than him though, so before Sehun managed to call victory, he hit him straight in the jaw. ‘’You'll regret that!’’ Sehun growled at him and pulled harshly from the hair at the back of his neck. The smaller one wailed but kneed Sehun on the crotch. ''Damn it, Luhan!'' Luhan heard the younger say and then felt a harsh pain on his side.


Finally, Sehun was able to take a hold of Luhan's wrists. However, as they were panting and their pupils dilating, they found themselves getting lost in each other's eyes, even if only for a few seconds.


Luhan had never, ever noticed how fair-looking Sehun's skin was. Sure, everyone at school said that the younger one would be better off modeling for Armani, but Luhan had never taken his time to admire Sehun's physique.


He was tall, strong and broad-shouldered, to the point that the smaller felt envy creeping inside of him, but at the same time some sort of sick pleasure in being defeated by such a tough guy. Damn. He knew Sehun had gotten his figure because of soccer and American football. He'd seen the great build the taller one had during their many disputes, but he'd never thought of him like that. His eyes were as black as a dark night, complementing the pale complexion of his skin; deep and expressive.


His furrowed eyebrows gave him a dreamy appearance; they were elegant and simply attractive. His brown hair, all rustled because of their little battle, smelled like heaven and sin at the same time. And his lips, oh, Jesus Lord, had Luhan ever seen lips so full and soft-looking? The same lips were now hovering over Luhan's, they were being bitten as if their owner was trying hard to contain himself.


‘’Luhan,’’ Whispered Sehun, in the softest manner the smaller one had ever heard.


He's going to kiss me. Luhan blushed a deep shade of red. His eyes widened comically and his heartbeat went nuts.


Sehun closed his eyes and breathed in and out. He leaned down but stopped when he realized what he was doing.




The taller one stood up - flustered, and didn't say anything. Luhan did so as well, and when they lifted their gazes, they found themselves in the presence of the principal, who was staring at them furiously.





‘’Will you ever stop this little show of yours?’’ The principal, Mr. Nam questioned obviously irritated and tired, as he slammed his hands on his desk with force. ‘’It's been years. What the hell is wrong with you two?’’ He shook his head.


Currently, they were in the principal's office and they were both suspended for the next two days. The principal was thinking of adding one more day while he was writing a report for both of their parents.


‘’It was his fault, Mr. Nam,’’ Luhan whined petulantly. ‘’Sehun is always causing trouble.’’


‘’What? It's not my problem that you are such a sensitive little thing, okay?’’ The taller one responded as he ran his long fingers through his dark brown, tousled hair.


‘’Cut it out!’’ A furious glare was directed at Sehun. ‘’I'm not a kid!’’


‘’Oh yes, you are. You look so upset, cutie pie,’’ Sehun said faking innocence but smirked afterward when he noticed the annoyed expression on Luhan's doll-like face.


‘’That's enough. You both are terrible! You're disrespectful, and you have no manners.’’ Mr. Nam shouted. ‘’Three days of suspension for the two of you. Now, get out of my office. Leave!’’


They stood up and Sehun made his way to the boys’ restroom at the end of the hall. He quickly fixed his hair and grinned smugly at the handsome reflection in the mirror. After that, he walked to his locker and began putting his books in his black backpack.


Luhan, however, had to ruin his calm life as always. ‘’Have a nice vacation, git!’’ He told Sehun, slamming his locker shut, and making Sehun drop his backpack because of the shock - all of his books tumbling to the floor. Unfortunately, the smaller one ran out the school before Sehun was able to beat him up for that.


Fuck you, Luhan.





Their disagreements had always been very entertaining. Most people used to have fun watching their little fights; as teens, this was quite normal to happen between two good-looking, brilliant boys. But all of this was going a little out of control.


It all started with glances that turned into mutual glares, then staring contests. One of them got pushed to the wall, the other got humiliated in front of the school. And that was it. Their life. Luhan’s only purpose was to make Sehun miserable. And if Luhan wanted so, the younger one could make him suffer double.


They both were beyond popular in school. Not only because they were the most handsome guys from their junior year class, but also because of their intelligence and charisma. The doe had this sweet baby face and soft attitude, however, he was quick to change whenever he found himself in the presence of someone he didn't like. He was very smart, absolutely gorgeous, and quite manipulative. He would always make things go his way very quickly, looking as nice and honest as ever.


Luhan wasn't a bad guy, but when we start talking about Sehun, for example, the blonde couldn't control himself. The man just infuriated him.


Sehun, on the other hand, was the prototype of the perfect guy. He was tall, attractive and well, unreachable. His sleepy eyes and deep voice only seemed to complete his perfection. He was also very competitive. Whenever Luhan would do well in school, Sehun would do way better. Whenever the smaller would date a cute girl, Sehun would date the Queen B. So, if Luhan would sleep with a thousand girls, the taller would sleep with a billion, not caring about what people would think of him. Winning to Luhan was way more fun.


But Luhan was getting tired of it; their childish hatred towards each other was driving him nuts. He didn't really remember the reason why they first fought, to begin with, or why they were still fighting. Well, he knew they were supposed to despise each other, but there wasn't a concrete reason for it, and this little game made him want to pull his hair out.


Why did my heart race that way when he stared at me with those eyes? Why did I feel like I couldn't breathe when he said my name with that husky voice? Why did I feel like melting when he came so close? Luhan wondered. But what was he thinking? He had to stop, they were total opposites. They were never going to happen.


Sehun also felt quite confused and tired, not about their fights, but about Luhan, if that made any sense at all. Because instead, he knew the reason for their mutual hate, and he wasn't going to back down.


I won't. Not even when Luhan looks at me in that way that makes my knees go weak. Not even when the feel of his skin burns against mine. Not even when every single time we bicker at each other I wish I could simply slam him hard against the wall and kiss the life out of his little body.


No way



For the past month, they had been sort of ignoring each other. The atmosphere was awkward and they would simply look away whenever they saw each other in the school corridors, in the cafeteria or even outside of school.


Some days later, it was raining heavily on a Tuesday afternoon, while the smaller one was waiting patiently for Sehun at the school gates. He knew the younger had football practice because Lu used to play in the team too last semester. But that was until Sehun joined the team, became captain, and kicked Luhan out. The boy had been really pissed off. But he knew better. Whenever Luhan would ignore his actions, the taller one would get frustrated. It was obvious, he wanted to win, but in the end, he always lost.


As Sehun walked through the crowd heading to the gates, he spotted a familiar figure standing there. Luhan. Now he couldn't even ignore how cute he looked. The smaller one was looking for someone, and he seemed nervous and impatient. Sehun knew something was going on because it seemed he had his guard off, he could tell by his body language. Luhan didn't seem as tough as he usually acted, huh?


Even though Luhan was half a year older than Sehun, he looked younger. His baby face made you all fuzzy inside, but his attitude would confuse you until you no longer knew what to think of him. He knew Luhan was sweet and sensitive on the inside but acted tough because he wasn't ready to let people in and see his true self.


Sehun had known Luhan for some time before their first meeting. He had been infatuated with the tyke since the first time he saw him. However, Sehun felt very scared about his feelings back then; not once he told anyone he admired Luhan from afar. Wasn't it so gay? To be eleven years old and to like a boy? Wasn't that weird? At least for his parents and classmates, it was. He couldn't take the risk of being bullied.


But it all changed when Luhan, unknowingly, broke his heart.





Oh Sehun was walking happily from his last class of the day, waving Chanyeol and Baekhyun, his best friends, goodbye. It was already late. He was exhausted and hungry, but he quickly forgot about it when he saw his Luhan. The smaller one was sitting on the bleachers; his hair was flowing freely in the wind, and his lovely face was being illuminated by the sunset. Beautiful, Sehun thought before his smile disappeared totally.


Luhan wasn't alone, he was with this really sweet girl, Im Yoona. Sehun liked Yoona a lot, as a friend of course, but now he had killed her at least three times in his head.


Yoona was leaning her head on Luhan's shoulder; they were holding hands while Luhan was stroking the back of her left hand with his thumb. The mere view made Sehun's eyes to water. No! He wouldn't cry! He couldn't. But all his walls came breaking down when he caught the glimpse of Luhan slightly tilting his head to look at Yoona in the eyes. She blushed and looked down, but Luhan was quick to hold up her chin and meet her lips with his own.


Sehun's insides burned painfully. He was mad and so hurt, he couldn't stop crying. How? How could his Luhan do this to him? How could he hurt him this way? He knew they weren't together; however, he had convinced himself that his love for the smaller one was enough for both of them. Well, it wasn't.


Luhan didn't love him. Did he? There was no chance because they had never met.


Since that day Sehun changed completely, he wasn't the happy, bubbly Sehun anymore. He started acting cool. He asked his parents for permission to dye his hair blonde and changed his style of clothing. He tried to avoid any past feeling, anything that would remind him of Luhan. And then it occurred to him. If Luhan hadn't easily noticed him, he would in a hard way.


He would make him regret ever not loving him. Deep inside he knew the honey-haired boy wasn't at fault at all, but the pain was clouding his mind. Sehun was blind - all he saw were ways to win Luhan over. Even if he was only eleven years old, he knew he could do it, he was Oh Sehun after all. He had to grow fast, and be the mature guy Luhan needed.


He would make Luhan notice him, no matter what.


A couple of weeks later, Sehun started his plan. He began staring at Luhan from time to time, appearing out of nothing near the small boy. The tyke was surprised to see he this handsome tall boy, who stared at him angrily as if he was mad at him. What had Luhan ever done to him?


One day, Sehun purposely bumped into Luhan, making the smaller gasp in surprise. He quickly recognized the boy as the one that would always stare at him. After that, Sehun would bump into him all the time, almost every day and it was getting on Luhan's nerves. The smaller was getting tired of bumping into Sehun all the time, so, after some weeks, he pushed him onto the nearest wall as soon as he saw him walking down the hall. The boy looked surprised at first but ended up pushing Luhan away, walking to his next class.


That same day in lunchtime, Luhan had been spending time with his best friends, Jongin and Kyungsoo (who were boyfriends); and suddenly, he felt a cold substance on top of his head, falling slowly until it got through his school uniform, damping him entirely. It was strawberry juice. His school shirt was all dirty and pink now, making everyone in the cafeteria laugh their hearts out. He glanced up and saw Oh Sehun.


He was smirking at him.


Since that day, they swore to hate each other. Sehun never told the other about his feelings, those feelings he buried deep inside his heart. And Luhan never knew, he couldn't have guessed.



End of Flashback


Sehun was brought out of his daze when he saw Luhan's hand moving in front of him. He noticed, embarrassed that he had been staring stupidly at the smaller for a few minutes. He pulled himself and put on a blank face, to hide how flustered he felt because of having recalled those memories after such a long time.


Luhan was shifting uncomfortably as raindrops ran down his face. He finally decided to speak. ‘’We need to talk.’’ The boy mumbled, his face was serious, but on the inside, he was nervous, and he had no idea how to stop feeling that way.


‘’What would you and I have to talk about?’’ Sehun snapped angrily.


‘’I, uh…,’’ Luhan fidgeted. ‘’Sehun, again, why don't we get along? I forgot, or just, I don't think I ever knew the reason, and I… I don't think I like it, I mean, I don't want to fight, I just…’’, He colored slightly.


‘’What the hell are you talking about?’’ Sehun asked, furrowing his eyebrows, looking as distant and handsome as ever.


‘’You and I have been fighting for so long, and it’s tiring me. I don't want to do this anymore. Don't you think it's enough?’’ Luhan cried.


‘’What do you mean?’’ Sehun said fiercely, letting out an ironic snort. ‘’Right, so now you’re telling me that suddenly you don't hate me anymore?’’


He felt so broken. The only connection they shared was going to end just like that? He knew though, that there was never a connection between them, to begin with.


‘’Okay, I… Sehun, how can I put this?’’ Luhan paused for a second before he continued. ‘’I'm done, I just…,’’


‘’Hey brat! You can't just decide to act as if nothing happened! You've made my life miserable!’’


‘’Because ugh, you started it! Sehun tell me, can't we at least try to be civil towards each other, or well, be friends?’’


‘’Friends? What the hell? Oh yeah, I get it. You've gone insane now!’’


‘’Please, Sehun,’’ Luhan pleaded, he didn't know why, but he needed to get his point clear. He needed Sehun to understand how important this was for him. Luhan was blushing out of anger but from embarrassment as well.


‘’Fuck off, Luhan.’’ The younger grabbed Luhan by the collar of his shirt. ‘’Listen to me well, there is no chance for you and me to be friends, ever. Understood?’’ Sehun said staring right through Luhan's eyes, making him shiver in fright.


Then Sehun walked away as fast as he could, losing himself in the pouring rain.


Don't you understand that I could never be your friend? Being friends is not enough.





Luhan was a mess. He could barely move his limbs because of the lack of heat. Also, his clothes were soaking wet; he was sure to get a cold. Damn it.


''I'm home!'' Luhan greeted from the door, only getting a response from his mother, Lin. Yifan, his brother, a senior (who liked being called Kris), was probably in bed already. So it was just the two of them in the living room. The only thing he knew about his father was that the man had abandoned them as soon as Lin had made her pregnancy known to him, leaving her pregnant and with Kris being only 1 year old. It was pathetic how low people could go.


Luhan resumed the greeting; he kissed his mom on the cheek, listened to the little lecture she had to offer because he didn't take an umbrella to school, and drank some chocolate milk. Then he went straight to his room and decided to take a shower; he needed to clear his mind.


What happened today?


The water was slowly flowing along his body, as he rubbed his face harshly, trying to calm down and not to cry as he had done when Sehun left. The taller told him they would never be friends. Never. But why? Was it all his imagination? He couldn't be sure, but he swore he had seen hurt in his eyes when they were arguing this evening. Sehun looked so upset, so infuriated, so sad.




Luhan blushed. He couldn't help it. It had started maybe some weeks ago, maybe since their last fight, maybe since ever, but he had started to feel these things. Yeah, things. He didn't know how to call them. Luhan was positive he did not love Sehun, because, how can you love someone you once despised?


But how could even he explain it? Lately whatever Sehun did, would seem endearing and attractive to him. And god, all of this made Luhan sound dumb and feel, well, little.


Whenever Sehun would show up, Luhan would feign this tough attitude. He thought it would make him look cool because it worked on other people. But not with Sehun. He was even tougher than Luhan would ever dream of being. So, in the end, it wouldn't make sense.


He couldn't understand why he was suddenly feeling all of this; he used to hate Sehun with all his heart. He used to fill him with fury and annoyance; but now, instead of all that, Luhan was full of butterflies. It hurt him, though. It hurt him to see Sehun hated him.


‘’Fuck off, Luhan. Listen to me well. There is no way for you and me to be friends, ever. Understood?’’


Oh, he hates me. I have no chance. What can I do though? No matter what, I want him.


Luhan wore his pajamas, got into bed and tried to fall asleep. However, it took him about an hour to finally get some rest. His mind was going wild. Wild because of Oh Sehun. 



Chapter Text


Luhan, what are you doing to me?


Sehun was speechless. The events of today were stressing him out more than he had expected and told himself they would. After he ran away from Luhan, his heart had been thumping loudly and his mind couldn't rest. Why? After all this time, all these years, the older one was treating him differently? This difference wasn't what Sehun had hoped for though, he wanted more. He needed more.


Sehun tried to hide his feelings as much as he could through all of these years; it pained him to be mean to Luhan, but he adored him, desired him, and wanted to be loved back as fervently - even though he was sure the smaller would never have the same thoughts about him. The boy was simply too lovely and perfect to have feelings for him, wasn't he?


During these years, Luhan kept on despising Sehun. He knew that. Their rivalry had become so unbearable that they couldn't even stand being next to each other for five minutes.


Sehun had been so hurt right then when he was eleven, but now, the pain he felt was different. Being friends. The one he loved, wanted to be friends. What an adorable idea! He thought sarcastically. He knew Luhan wasn't aware of all the things he had gone through, his feelings - and his so obsessed, psychotic, raging love for him.


It was a contradiction actually because this was the closest Sehun had ever been to Luhan. However, he couldn't even picture himself being by Luhan's side in a not romantic way; that was out of the question. Lu had looked so pretty; that is why it had been so damn hard for the younger not to just jump on him and take him right there and then.


What was Luhan thinking? Being all cute, adorable and fuckable, and just simply the hottest little thing Sehun had ever laid his eyes on. Also, it was weird for Luhan to say such things. And the way he acted today, like an open book. Sehun had learned long ago that the shorter never showed his true self to Sehun, he never let his sweet little self be seen, and never let himself looked nervous, but today it was different.


He was fidgeting, walking back and forth, he couldn't look at Sehun in the eye and then he blushed. He blushed. Sehun was sure something was up, but he couldn't have guessed Luhan was also thinking about their talk, thinking about him. Sehun was now lying on his bed, only wearing underwear and the door was locked. It had been weeks since he last touched himself. All the exams and essays had taken a lot of his time, and pleasure had stopped being his priority. But now it was different. His heart was racing, his skin was on fire, and he couldn't that pretend he didn't feel aroused.


Fuck you, Luhan. Sehun couldn't deny it anymore, he was as in love as he had been with Luhan all those years ago, if not more in love. His Luhan, his little boy. He called him that in his head, it made sense, it suited him. He remembered that once he made a list of the things he loved (the most) about Luhan.


- 5: His pouts and the way his hips sway as he walks.

- 4: His laughter and his tiny hands.

- 3: The way Luhan says his name, Sehun.

- 2: His big caramel eyes and his long eyelashes.

- 1: His luscious and sensual lips.


Lips. Kiss. Kissing. Kissing Luhan.


Sehun had dreamed about kissing the boy for so long, about feeling the softness of his lips and the warmth of his mouth. The mere picture of Luhan and him kissing made him hard. So, he had to take care of it. He lowered his hand and stroked his dick over his black boxers. At first, his pace was slow, but as pleasure took over, he couldn't help but quicken his pace. Luhan, Luhan, Luhan, he was all he wanted now.


He closed his eyes and imagined that the older boy was the one touching him, and a low groan left his lips. In Sehun's head, Luhan got on his knees and put his small hand around his member. The boy touched him and he seemed pleased with Sehun's cock, with his length and girth. The sight made Sehun's mouth water. His Luhan was there, staring at his cock with half-lidded eyes. The babe looked up and smiled as sweet as a popsicle.


''Am I making you feel good, Sehunnie?'' Luhan asked, tilting his head to the side, his unmarked silky neck catching Sehun's eye.


''Fuck yes,'' Sehun tried his best to speak. ''Jesus, just do that again, okay?'' He was breathless and he felt his temperature rising.


''Do you want me to put my mouth around you? Do you think I'd do well?'' Luhan wondered, staring at Sehun with wide eyes. The male soaked in them and the blush covering the boy's cheeks.


''Perfect, Luhan. Just do it, baby,'' Sehun pleaded, shutting his eyes.


‘’As you wish,’’ Luhan said happily, just like a baby who was going to drink his milk from his bottle.


Sehun knew this was a result of his imagination, and that Luhan wasn't actually there, but he didn't care. He deserved to at least enjoy his fantasies. The smaller poked out his tongue, and carefully licked the tip, scrunching up his nose at the funny taste, but quickly feeling hungry as he saw little pearls of precum coming out of Sehun's cock.


He gathered it in his mouth and gurgled happily, it tasted good, wow! He mouthed Sehun's member slowly, from the base to the tip and sucked on it; the younger, of course, pushed his hips upwards, so that he could fuck his mouth. Luhan's mouth formed a perfect 'o' as he started to suck on Sehun’s cock, harder this time. The younger gasped and growled like there was no tomorrow. The older swirled his tongue all over Sehun’s dick and deep throated him, saliva running down his chin. Sehun felt as if he was in heaven; because this was his heaven.


Lu bobbed his head up and down, increasing his lover's pleasure. Sehun gasped for air and pleaded for more. The younger male was already close. In his fantasy Luhan released his member suddenly, which earned him a questioning look from Sehun, but he kept on stroking it - pumping him fast. He teasingly crawled on top of Sehun and kissed him deeply until their lips were red and swollen. When they pulled away, the boy continued kissing down his neck, trailing a path of love bites until his teeth closed hard on Sehun's earlobe.


''God, baby," Sehun groaned huskily, ''You’re so beautiful.''


''You know, Sehunnie,'' The older whispered in his ear, ''It feels good, doesn't it?'' Sehun hummed. ''Well, just imagine how good it will feel when you are inside me. I will let you ram mercilessly into me; it will feel even better. I promise.'' His voice, it was so alluring, so childlike and sensual at the same time.


''Damn it Lu," Sehun cried, ''I'm fucking coming now!''


Sehun came all over his hand, and when he opened his eyes, Luhan was nowhere to be seen.


As always, this was his fantasy. And that's why it was a fantasy. It wasn't real.


Chapter Text

Kyungsoo was walking through the mall; tomorrow was October 15th. Their anniversary. So, he was trying to find something worthy of his boyfriend. This was a very important day, he could not just get him a meaningless thing.


His boyfriend, Jongin.


Kyungsoo sighed contentedly. He loved Jongin with all his strength; he was his everything. And he knew Jongin loved him just as much. The taller one, sometimes, could be very clingy, jealous and possessive, but those were some of the things Kyungsoo loved the most about Jongin. And tomorrow was their 5th anniversary. Such a long time. Who could have guessed they would be dating now?




Their first meeting happened to be at school. They were both art classmates in their first year of middle school. Kyungsoo fell in love with him at first sight; cliché, he knew, but that was the way things happened. He was one of the many kids that were crazy about Kim Jongin, and tell me, who would not be?


Jongin was the definition and expression of perfection. Physically, but also mentally. A tall and thin figure. Toned arms; even if he was only twelve years old, he liked to work out. His dark hair shined brightly, his eyes were always showing interest for even the littlest things around him (especially puppies); he always wanted to learn something new. And his lips, they were so beautiful.


He was also smart and kind to everyone. Kyungsoo always saw him walk around with Luhan, the younger brother of Wu Yifan, who was the student council president. Jongin and Luhan were very popular among the students.


Sometimes envious boys would spread rumors saying they were both gay, but that was a lie, at least then. Luhan was dating a girl right then, the sweet Im Yoona. As for Jongin, he was dating Jung Krystal, and Kyungsoo didn’t like her at all. He would wish the latter wasn’t straight.


So, he had no chance. If Jongin was straight, there was no way they could ever be together. He could try cross-dressing, but that wasn’t the point. He wanted to be loved for who he was.


Although later, Kyungsoo realized he had to give up his love for the younger; it was not like Jongin had not met him. They would talk sometimes, but only in class, and Jongin would always be really nice. Kyungsoo on his part would try to stay calm, but that looked as if he was bored whenever the taller one would come to say hi.


Jongin, well, he liked Krystal at first, but she was not as sweet as he had thought, and it was upsetting when he saw how she’d bully people all the time. There was also another reason their relationship was not working; he just could not focus on Krystal, he would stare at Do Kyungsoo, his art small-rather-cute classmate instead.


But Soo, as Jongin called him, did not seem to like his company very much. Jongin just wanted to be nice, and get to know Kyungsoo a bit more, but he got sad because the smaller never acted the way he expected, so he stopped making attempts of being friends. After some time, however, the younger noticed he wanted to talk to Soo, even if Kyungsoo was shy. It seemed that Jongin liked him. Jongin realized he liked boys. So, am I gay? But I'm eleven, is that normal?! He liked a boy, he liked Kyungsoo.


He had to be honest. He did not want to date Krystal anymore, so he broke up with her the next day. She acted weird, screaming all over the school. Her teachers tried to calm her down, but she would not stop crying and making a mess of the day. Somehow, Jongin did not feel guilty, he just wanted to look for his Soo. Sometime later, he noticed the small boy was running up to him.


''You two b-broke up?'' Kyungsoo asked, panting and blushing a lot.


''Yeah, Soo, we did. I don't like her anymore. I like you.'' Jongin pecked Kyungsoo's lips, bending bit because the boy was still really small.


''Y-you do? Really? But why? I'm nothing like-''


''You're cute! You are a good boy, and when you smile, it makes me smile too.'' Jongin scratched the back of his head.


''Really? Jongin, I like you, very, very much.'' He tiptoed to peck Jongin's lips.


''Do you want to go on a date, Soo?'' Jongin said happily.


''Sure. You won’t believe how long I’ve been waiting for this.'' They hugged and laughed.


End of flashback


Kyungsoo smiled as he recalled his innocent memories; they were both so young then, how cute. Jongin was amazing as ever. Soo felt so lucky to be with him now. He was grateful because someone as sweet as his boyfriend loved him like that.


His phone was ringing and Luhan’s smiley face appeared on his screen.


''Hi Lu!'' Kyungsoo greeted happily.


''Hey, did you already find the dork a present?''


''Nope, I can't seem to like anything. What about you, though? Did you talk to him?'' Kyungsoo asked.


''W-who?'' Luhan tried to stay calm.


''Sehun, you idiot. What? Is he still ignoring you? It's been over a week.''


''I know, I know,'' Luhan sighed, ''Maybe telling him I wanted to be friends wasn’t a good idea, like out of the blue. He acts as if I was dead tho!" He whined childishly. "Anyways, find my friend a great present, he's been preparing yours all day.'' Luhan giggled.


''Hey, what has happened to tough Luhan? Whatever, thank you, Lu, see you!'' Kyungsoo couldn't help but laugh at his friend's weird behavior.


''Bye, brat. Just kidding. See you!'' Luhan hung up the call.


Just as Kyungsoo put his phone back in his pocket, he spotted a travel agency.


A weekend only for us, somewhere we can disappear for a bit, and be together.


Yeah, that could work as a present.




Kyungsoo sighed contently as he paid for the plane tickets for Mauna Kea Beach to celebrate Jongin's and his anniversary. The boy didn't know how the hell their parents would let a pair of 17 years old boys go on a trip like this; yes, they had valid passports but still. They knew how hormonal their kids would get. But after all these years, their parents had grown used to their public displays of love and affection.


The flight was tonight - he knew how much Jongin hated last-minute decisions, but he would take the risk of being reprimanded. The smaller one rushed home, packed enough clothes for the trip, and called both of their parents, convincing them as much as he could of how responsible both of them would be. It was just a weekend after all.


The older took a cab and went straight to Jongin's house. His anxiety was clear. He paid the driver and went out of the car, almost freezing on his spot. The house was decorated like a Christmas' tree, full of lights. Flowers adorned the whole front garden, and the love of his life was standing by the door holding a bunch of white roses, wearing a tight black tuxedo, making Kyungsoo's head spin.


The taller smiled warmly, admiring Kyungsoo's beauty. His eyes were even bigger now than most of the time, and his cheeks were red. Kyungsoo didn’t even notice when he started running into Jongin's arms, burying his head in the younger's chest.


The smaller was sobbing, totally overwhelmed by Jongin's sweetness. "Why? Why are you so damn perfect, Kim Jongin?!" Kyungsoo held onto Jongin’s face and kissed him, desperation dripping from his lips. The younger quickly kissed back, hugging Kyungsoo’s waist tightly, still holding the roses. Fighting for dominance, both of their tongues danced together, brushing and sucking. When they parted, they held each other close, calming their heartbeats.


"Roses for a rose. Dumb line, I know. I'm sorry." Jongin scratched the back of his head, as he held out the roses for Kyungsoo.


"Thank you, they’re really pretty." The smile on Kyungsoo’s face was infectious. He couldn’t hide it and as much as he tried, he couldn’t help but blush.


"You look even cuter when you blush, Soo. I love you. I really really do.''


"Hush, and kiss me. I love you more." They sealed the moment with a sweet and slow kiss, enjoying how their lips molded perfectly, wanting the kiss to last forever.


When they went into the house, Kyungsoo was very surprised to see Jongin had made dinner. Later on, he realized the ones that had cooked had been Baekhyun and Chanyeol, two really nice guys who, by the way, needed to face their feelings now that Baekhyun was finally free of his ex-girlfriend.


Even if the younger had not been the one that cooked dinner, Kyungsoo still appreciated the gesture. The evening passed with ease until Kyungsoo dropped the news about the trip. The taller didn't get mad or anything, he just started grabbing all of his clothes. He only had three hours until the depart, that was not enough.


The older laughed at Jongin's cute, worried face and helped him pack his stuff. The lovers took a cab, holding each other's hands, and kissing from time to time on their way to the airport. The ride on the plane was very tiring, but they arrived safely to Mauna Kea Beach. It wasn't until they were inside the beach house, for half an hour already, that the bulge on Jongin's pants bothered him too much to just shrug it off. His lover had been at the bathroom for at least five minutes already. What was taking him so long?


Thinking about Kyungsoo and all of the things they could do now made him want to pound deep into him already. They were indeed tired, but he was still hard. What could he do? Without any idea on mind, he made his way towards the bathroom to ask Kyungsoo if he wanted to see a movie or something.


What he found inside the bathroom, though, was very far from any expectation he had. Kyungsoo was kneeling on the ground, barely having any space to move around. He had two fingers in his ass, and Jongin’s jaw dropped. The older kept on thrusting them in and out at a steady pace. Jongin’s mouth watered and he groaned when his cock twitched at the sight. Why hadn't his boyfriend invited him? Jongin smirked. Oh hell yes, this was going to be a lot of fun.


''What a selfish little thing you are, don’t you think?'' Jongin said, grabbing Kyungsoo by the nape.


''Jo-jongin- I, I can explain... I was just...-''


''Fucking yourself, baby? I'm sure I could fuck you better.'' Jongin growled.


''I know... I know, I just... didn't want to bother you, I thought you were tired! I just… couldn't help it, I was so...-'' The shorter stuttered helplessly.


''Horny? Desperate? Get on all fours now, Soo. I won’t repeat myself.'' Jongin told him, forcefully undressing.


Kyungsoo obeyed almost immediately, his body trembling in anticipation. He faced the ground and tried to support his weight on his hands as much as he could.


''I'm gonna fuck you now,’’ Jongin groaned as he touched himself, getting ready to get inside his lover. ‘’so hard it will even pain you to walk out the house, Soo.''


''Yes, do it. Just please, now.'' Kyungsoo couldn't take it anymore, he felt so hot.


Jongin slowly took a hold of Kyungsoo's plump ass, causing Kyungsoo to whimper. Without any warning, the taller one entered Kyungsoo's hole to the hilt, loving how his lover's stretched ass engulfed his cock so deliciously.


''You did a pretty good job here, sweetheart. But your ass is still tight as fuck, Kyungsoo. So tight.''


''Oh God...'' Kyungsoo moaned at the feeling of Jongin's cock buried so deep inside of him. ''Move already.''


Jongin didn't need to be told twice. He slowly began his thrusts, rhythmically and steadily, trying to make the older enjoy it, even though he knew it still hurt. Kyungsoo moaned shamelessly – he loved being filled, he loved it so much. Jongin's cock was really big, but the pain wasn't so important now though, the pleasure he felt drove him insane.


''Fuck.'' Kyungsoo breathed. A mewl escaping from his bloody lips. He didn't realize he had been biting his lips so hard until he tasted the blood.


Jongin had just found Kyungsoo’s prostate. The older one screamed and moved a hand down to his wet cock. The pressure on his sweet spot made him feel so fine, so wonderful. Jongin hit it over and over again, prolonging every thrust to Kyungsoo's delight. Jongin found it very hard to control his impulses, and when he saw his boyfriend pushing his hips to meet his dick, he lost it.


''Get up, we're getting in the water.'' He pulled out, and grabbed the Kyungsoo’s arm, not giving him any time to protest.


Because the house they were renting was just in front of the beach, Jongin was able to pull the smaller in the water after just a minute walk. Kyungsoo whimpered at the feel of the cold water splashing his body, but Jongin's warm body heated him in less than a second. Droplets of salty water were running down Jongin's hair. He's beautiful. Has he always been that good-looking?


''Take me now, please.'' Kyungsoo pleaded. Both their bodies were surrounded by water that reached until their waist.


The younger grabbed his face and pulled him for a kiss. Not separating their mouths, he lifted Kyungsoo's legs. The smaller one immediately locked his legs around the tan boy's waist, and put his arms Jongin's neck, not breaking the kiss for half a second. Jongin's tongue quickly dominated his. Kyungsoo was too worked up to even put up a fight. Jongin grabbed hard on Kyungsoo's ass, holding him tightly. He squeezed the boy's bum forcefully and the older one whimpered, hiding his face in Jongin's neck.


''I'll rip you apart, baby.'' Jongin whispered before his cock disappeared inside the smaller one's ass.


Their lovemaking heated the water to a boiling point. Their breathings were audibly loud, and the slapping flesh sounds filled the air. Both of them were out of it, enjoying this too much, taking as much as they could from the way it felt when they were united. Jongin's thrusts grew more forceful and Kyungsoo mewled as he held hard onto his boyfriend, leaving red marks all around his back, chest, and shoulders. He sucked a spot on the side of Jongin’s neck and smiled when he saw the purple mark. The heat was so unbearable and Kyungsoo knew he wouldn’t last long.


''Faster ... come i-in deeper... please...-'' The older shut his eyes when Jongin captured his lips again. The kiss was full of tongue and clashing teeth. The taller devoured Kyungsoo’s mouth and they both moaned when they felt each other’s pleasure, the ocean's waves hitting their bodies.


The knot on Jongin’s stomach was growing as he complied to his lover's request, his knees were becoming weaker with every thrust. He was close, so close. The pleasure overwhelmed him because he could feel Kyungsoo tightening around him.


''Oh Jongin.'' Kyungsoo groaned before losing it, before flying far away, to a new world. His sight went black as he shut his eyes tightly, coming all over Jongin's and his stomach. Jongin kept on pounding into him for a minute until Kyungsoo’s walls clenched deliciously around him. The younger came too, going high, so high he didn't know if he would ever be able to come back down. This was the best sex they'd ever had.


As they held each other still in the same position, they tried to recover their breaths. Wow, that was all there was in their minds. Kyungsoo nuzzled Jongin's face, trying to transfer his feelings to the other, trying to show his lover how much he loved him, how fierce he knew their love was, how intense and high he felt right now.


He stayed still as Jongin pulled out and Kyungsoo was putty in his arms. Jongin maneuvered them so he could wrap his arms around the smaller from behind, resting his chest against Kyungsoo’s back. Holding each other they watched the sunset in the ocean. Jongin nuzzled his neck, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his Soo.


''That was just... wow.'' The older mumbled.


''I know, yeah.'' Jongin chuckled.


Kyungsoo giggled as Jongin nibbled lightly on his neck, and then kissed the mark he had just made "Thank you, for planning this trip, for being with me, Kyungsoo. Happy 5th anniversary, baby." The younger whispered in his boyfriend's ear.


"Happy 5th anniversary to you, Jongin. I love you, there's no need to thank me.'' Kyungsoo turned around and roamed his hands over Jongin’s chest. "You know, Jongin. I didn't do all of this only for you. It was mostly for us...-" He whispered brushing their noses together.


"-...for our happiness, but maybe the term pleasure would be more indicate." He blew air over Jongin's lips.


Jongin's breath hitched as he understood the implication "You drive me mad, Soo. I love you." The younger interlaced their fingers and pressed their bodies closer.


''I love you more, Jongin.'' Kyungsoo said before sticking his tongue back in Jongin's mouth, tasting his delicious lips.





Byun Baekhyun sighed as he made his way towards his room upstairs. He had just dumped Lourin, his now ex-girlfriend because he caught her kissing another junior this early morning. Even though he wasn't that into her, Baekhyun would never stand being stepped on. I kind of liked her, but not really.


Those words haunted him because he doubted his feelings. It wasn't like, I liked her, it was more like, I kind of did. Shouldn't he be so broken now? Shouldn't he be weeping? Baekhyun wasn't sure why he didn't feel bad. Of course, he felt betrayed, but not hurt.


He lay on his bed for a couple of minutes until his phone rang; Baekhyun smiled, the ringtone was far too familiar for him not to know who was calling. Chanyeol. He was Baekyun's best friend. They were also best friends with Sehun but that guy had been busy lately fighting his feelings for Luhan, and sort of wanted to keep to himself. Baekhyun had always known that Sehun liked Lu, at least a bit. No one could hate someone so much just because.


''Hi Yeol!'' Baekhyun greeted as he walked down the stairs. He’d check if there was something edible in the fridge.


Chanyeol scoffed in the other line. Well, Baek doesn't sound sad at all.


''Is this Byun Baekhyun or do I have the wrong number?'' Chanyeol laughed.


''Hahaha what?'' The smaller questioned puzzled, smiling as he found strawberries and yogurt.


''Well, you just broke up with Lourin, so I thought you would be, I don't know, more...''


''Sad?'' Chanyeol hummed. ''Don't worry, I'm fine. I’m not sure exactly why I just… I think it’s great to have some time alone from her.'' He whispered. ''You know what, this is nice, hearing your voice.'' He put the yogurt and the strawberries in a bowl and ran back to his room. ''Oops!'' He giggled as he almost fell down the stairs.


''What was that, Baek?'' Chanyeol furrowed his brows as his voice lowered; he was worried even if he heard Baekhyun giggling. ‘’Did you just almost fall, silly?’’


Baekhyun huffed, it seemed Chanyeol was right.


''Yah! What are you talking about? I’m always looking where I’m going!'' Baekhyun struggled not to laugh again, ''Stop talking nonsense.'' He said as he blushed, hearing Chanyeol’s voice.


Baekhyun never understood, but whenever Chanyeol would talk to him with that low voice, he would feel very flustered. Even after ten years of friendship (they had met in elementary school), Chanyeol’s deep, alluring voice would still make him shiver. They were best friends though, so there was nothing between them. However, about four years ago, when they were both thirteen years old, they kissed; no matter how hard it might be to believe.


Baek had been stunned; why was his best friend in the entire galaxy kissing him? After the kiss though, Chanyeol asked him to forget about it, and to never talk about the ''incident'' again; then he ran away. The older complied, and they did not talk about that matter ever again. Why was Baekhyun suddenly remembering that now?


''Hey Baek, do you hear me?'' Baekhyun was snapped out of his daze, "Are you there?''


''Oh y-yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry, I got a bit distracted.''


''I bet you did.'' Chanyeol laughed. ''Baek?''




''Would you, well… like to come over tonight?'' Chanyeol hesitated; he sounded a bit nervous.


Why is he nervous? I got a strange feeling about this. Baekhyun thought. ''You know… yes; I need to see you anyway, we haven't talked much lately.'' Baekhyun mumbled apologetically.


Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun's sad smile through the call. ''Okay, be here at eight pm. Bring pajamas!''


''Oh wow, what am I? 13?'' Baekhyun scoffed.


"No!" I wish you were though, so I could kiss you again. ''But you have to admit you look just like a child, Baekhyunnie. Especially in your fluffy pajamas.'' Chanyeol laughed.


''Nooo, I do not! Stop teasing me, you mean giant,'' Baekhyun pouted, whining.


''Are you pouting?'' Chanyeol asked, clearly amused.


''Uh yes, how did you know?''


''You always pout when you whine. I know you better than I know myself, remember?'' Chanyeol sighed.


''I do,'' Baekhyun giggled again. ''Yeol, I'll go get my stuff ready, see you tonight. I love you, my friend!'' Baekhyun hung up.


''Yeah, I love you too, my friend,'' Chanyeol said after the call was disconnected.


Friends. That was all they were. However, Chanyeol would always wish they were more. Baekhyun was his light, his sun - he just needed to realize they were one for another.