"It's a good thing Shiro was more than eager to volunteer himself for caring for you." Pidge's tone was more than a little teasing, but only because Shiro wasn't in the room with them. They had witnessed what he was capable of now, and none of them was quite ready to test the boundaries of their new leader just yet.
But it was safe with just the three of them, and they did love to tease each other.
"Yeah, man," Hunk added, smile more shrewd than was common on his face. "He couldn't wait to get his hands on you to make sure you were going to be okay, and he clearly wasn't feeling like letting go any time soon."
"Although he did end up carrying you around over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes," Pidge admitted disappointedly.
Hunk made a similar sad noise in his throat to agree that it was a terrible thing what Shiro did, but Lance couldn't quite agree himself.
No doubt Pidge and Hunk had hoped for something more romantic, like a bridal carry or something, but Lance was not disappointed at all. In fact, the mental image of Shiro flinging his limp body over his shoulder to carry him around like he weighed nothing... a hand on his thighs to stabilise his weight on that broad shoulder... would Shiro have copped a feel of his arse? Lance had worn some of his baggiest jeans when they got 'abducted' by the blue lion, so Shiro probably didn't know what kind of bubble butt those comfy jeans were hiding. Lance prided himself in that bubble butt, training unapologetically focused to keep it as round and perky as he could.
Did Shiro know about that now? Did he let that large warm palm slide up from the back of his thighs to the round slope presented up as his hips pressed into Shiro's shoulder?
Carrying him like that was so nonchalant and easy, no effort for Lance's comfort although he'd apparently been very worried upon finding Lance. Just… throw him over a shoulder for easy carrying, like that was where Lance belonged. Where Shiro would maybe barely feel his weight, strong as he was.
Lance only realised he'd let out a dreamy sigh when Pidge started snickering in the dirtiest way imaginable, and Hunk looked between them with confused eyes, missing the hints on Lance's train of thought that Pidge had clearly picked on up.
"Okay, that's my cue to knock off and go to bed," Lance still gave Pidge a grin as he stood up, feeling rather good-natured about the teasing.
"Maybe you should ask Shiro to throw you over his shoulder and carry you to bed," Pidge snickered, and Lance was ready with a witty retort when another voice cut in from a silently opened door.
"Why, is Lance still hurt? Do you need help?"
Lance went from amused to mortified in two seconds flat, his face flaring red as he turned to Shiro, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. For a long moment everyone was quiet, unsure if this would be provocation to their leader, but then Pidge started to cackle like a maniac.
Lance scrambled up and to the door, pushing Shiro out and away from Pidge before his hidden kink would be exposed.
"It's nothing- it's nothing! Pidge was just teasing me, I promise I'm all healed up and fine after that pod!"
"...Pidge was teasing you by saying I should carry you like when you were wounded and unconscious?" Shiro sounded very confused and sceptical, but allowed Lance to push him down the hall, as far away from the kitchen with Pidge and Hunk as Lance could manage.
The problem was that Lance had no idea where he was even pushing Shiro to.
He ended up stopping in the middle of a hallway, closer to their bedrooms than he had intended to take Shiro in the first place. Lance had no response to Shiro's question, and the silence was stifling.
Shiro's need to clear his confusion was not deterred.
"Did it bother you to hear I carried you like that? It was the most practical and-"
"No!" Lance cut him off embarrassedly, face impossibly redder than before. "It didn't bother me at all! It couldn't have bothered me less! I'm as unbothered as a kid with ice cream!"
This was the point where hiding his face in his hands sounded like a great idea, if only because it would stop the stream of nonsense coming out of his mouth.
There was another long beat of silence, Lance feeling ready for the ground to swallow him whole (or at least the Castle spewing him out into empty space), and it was only broken painfully late with a tentative offer.
"So... does this mean you'd like me to carry you over my shoulder to your bed? Because I wouldn't mind?"
Please, Castle floor, swallow me now.
"Th-that might not be a good idea," Lance squeaked. There was no way he would not pop a boner if Shiro did that.
"I didn't feel you up while you were hurt and unconscious, and I wouldn't do so now if you didn't give me the impression you'd enjoy that," Shiro promised, as if he thought that might bother Lance.
"I would give you an impression, alright."
Shiro gave him a long, calculating look while Lance did an honest attempt to convince the floor to swallow him for real, and then all of a sudden a smirk bloomed on Shiro's face.
Lance had no time to react, two hands suddenly on him to easily scoop him up and lift him over Shiro's shoulder. He yelped in surprise, arms flailing around for balance before finding purchase on Shiro's arse without his intentions.
He would've squawked in embarrassment and let go again if it wasn't for the resounding smack landed on his own backside, drawing a yelp and a sound horrifyingly close to a moan from him. He needed to hold onto Shiro in case that would happen again now.
He squeezed tight and earned himself another hard spank that had him only moan, not yelp, and Shiro - a more sadistic bastard than Lance could ever have predicted - laughed at him.
"Time to get you to bed, princess."