Akutagawa was humming. Atsushi wasn’t sure what exactly he was humming, but he definitely was and Atsushi has never felt as creeped out as he did right then at that very moment. Well-
That was a lie. The creepiness he was feeling at that moment had nothing on the shivers that ran up his spine like tiny little creepy crawlers when he stumbled next to the other man during their joint fight and actually heard what exactly he was singing.
“Rock your body~” he was muttering under his breath as he shielded them both. “Everybody~ Rock your body right~ Backstreets back alright~!”
Atsushi could have died right then and there and he wasn’t sure if even that could stop the nightmare vision he was having right now.
‘What the fuck!’ his mind screamed. ‘What the actual fuck!’
He wanted to cry, he wanted to curl up into a ball and just hide from this cruel and twisted world. Since when did the Akutagawa, rabid dog of the Port Mafia fucking sing Backstreet boys? Why? How? Why?
When Akutagawa snapped at him to focus after almost gett ing hit, all the weretiger could do was rub a furious hand over his watery eyes and nod with hidden terror. “Sorry,” he shouted, jumping from the targeted spot. “Sorry, was just distracted for a sec.”
“Fucking weretiger,” Akutagawa tsked and that was the end of it. Well- at least that’s what he’d thought.
The second time he heard that blasted song coming from his archrival’s lips was during a mundane meeting between the Agency and the Port Mafia. They had been stationed next to each other; close to the giant double doors, and while Atsushi had been bored out of his skull shifting this way and that, the taller dark-haired man hadn’t moved an inch, and Atsushi honestly thought he was asleep until he started that cursed humming again.
He had almost managed to convince himself that the incident had all been a fever dream, that it hadn’t actually happened and that he was just imagining things due to an untimely concussion or something , but nop, it really had happened, because-
“Oh.my.God we’re back again~”
Atsushi whimpered .
“Brothers, sisters, everybody sing~”
Atsushi softly cried,
But when the older male very subtly started to move in his position as if-as if, he was dancing?
“You have to believe me Dazai-san please!”
Dazai as expected was smiling at him with condescending amusement, and if Atsushi had been a lesser man, he might have clawed his eyes out at the blatant disrespect, but alas-
“Come on Dazai-san!”
“I’m sorry Atsushi-kun,” he sing-songed. “I just have a hard time believing little Akutagawa-kun is capable of singing anything let alone a song so out of his comfort zone he genuinely might croak if it was played in his vicinity.”
“But it’s true!”
He got a condescending pat on the head for his concern.
Atsushi had never hated Dazai-san more.
Atsushi blinked up at the ceiling of the infirmary. Things hadn’t gone as well as usual this time around. Every part of his body ached like never before , and he would have honestly started pitying himself if the screams next door hadn’t made him send it all over to his poor partner that unfortunately didn’t have the ability to selfheal.
Yosano was really making a meal out of it. Probably revenge, he thought. Yawning loudly he closed his eyes and didn’t open them till the other male was wheeled in next to him. “Now don’t move till you’re told so,” Yosano -san said, backing away from the bed after giving the Port Mafia member a quick once over.
He coughed. “Thank you.”
Atsushi smiled. Akutagawa had gotten much better at that type of thing. He briefly contemplated if he was the reason for the change, before brushing it aside just as quickly.
“You’re welcome,” was Yosano -san's reply; voice a lot more gentle this time.“Something I can get you before I take my leave?”
“My phone if it isn’t too much trouble.”
She fished it out from her pocket before turning around and leaving with a passing goodbye.
Atsushi opened his mouth to say something in the dawning silence that fell over them, but before he could-
~~~I’ve got a question for you, better answer now~~~
...It was the phone...
...The song was coming out of Akutagawa’s phone...
Atsushi choked. Vision darkening once again, and only a soft concerned whisper of Jinko? Following him into the abyss.
He was done, it was over, he needed this to end, to stop. Any longer and Atsushi couldn’t promise his own sanity any longer.
The orphanage might not have broken him, but fuck-
Akutagawa singing that-that song might legitimately do him in.
They were both on another mission again. This time accompanied by Chuuya and Dazai respectively.
“Why can’t I work with Chuuya-san?” Akutagawa questioned after Dazai had briefed them on the upcoming plan. If Atsushi hadn’t gotten to know him as well as he did over the year, he might have actually missed that slight tilt in his voice that suggested of begrudging disappointment.
Who would have thought? Just a year after their last huge team up and Akutagawa was already moving on from Dazai-san's acceptance.
Dazai most have noticed the tone as well, because his smile widened even further. “ Awww , doesn’t little Akutagawa- kun wanna team up with me anymore? I’m hurt~”.
Chuuya scoffed, slapping the taller male on the back of the head. “Shut up bandaged freak,” he snapped, but the little smile dancing at the corner of his lips was evince of how pleased he was of the fact that Akutagawa chose him over the other man.
Well, it didn’t really matter to Atsushi, in fact, this was perfect. Chuuya-san seemed to know Akutagawa pretty well, so maybe he could shed light on this new fixation he had on that ridiculous song.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure kid, go ahead.”
Their mission had gotten off without a hitch and Atsushi had finally built up the courage to ask the burning question in his chest.
“It’s about Akutagawa.”
“Oh,” Chuuya momentarily turned around to look back at him with a curious face. “What about him?”
Atsushi gnawed at his bottom lip in thought. How could he phrase this question exactly? How did you tell the superior officer of your partner that said partner’s singing habit was disturbing you and you wanted it to stop?
He opened his mouth, but before any profound sound could escape past his lips, their two other companions rounded the corner. “All done,” Dazai called out to them.
Chuuya -san bellowed back in the affirmative , before doing something that made the white-haired teen next to him pale in horror.
“ You are my fire~” he sang loudly, actually making Dazai-san stop and blink in confusion. Good, Atsushi thought, serves him right. “The one desire~ Believe when I say I want it that way~” he continued, and Atsushi just wanted to die. This couldn’t be happening.
It was like a switch turned inside Akutagawa’s head, because he started to bob his head to some unknown music before echoing back the familiar lines while adding the next once “But We Are Two Worlds Apart~ Can't Reach To Your Heart~”
With those words he cranked up the volume on his phone before finishing with as much of a flair as the rabid dog of the Port Mafia could have. “When You Say That I Want It That WAAAY~”.
Dazai-san looked so disturbed; Atsushi would have genuinely found it funny if he himself wasn’t currently experiencing unrecoverable trauma.
He fainted when they reached the chores.
He was later told by a highly amused Dazai-san that apparently that song had become Chuuya-san's and Akutagawa’s inside joke/bonding song when the former’s phone accidently played the song while trying to discreetly sneak into an enemy base.
They had somehow miraculously gotten out of the sticky situation but ever since then it had become some sort of a running joke between them, and they had taken to singing that whenever in a tough spot or after a mission.
Dazai-san found it hilarious.
Atsushi thought it was horrifying,
Ok, maybe slightly cute and funny too, but definitely horrifying.
And if he’d started humming the dumb thing himself from time to time, well-
Who could blame him? And it made Akutagawa smile and yeah, that was ok. It was fine. Akutagawa needed to smile more anyways.