Most people would describe her as a reserved individual, a small handful would say she’s a complete goofball. She would always leave an air of curiosity around her when others tried to figure her out.
Hyunjin liked to keep her true emotions to herself, she’s not Yerim or Yeojin who don’t hesitate to tell the truth about themselves. No, she didn’t like that, she rather let other people figure her out as they grow closer.
On Mixnine, as much as she didn’t care about that show, she did put up her classic goofy facade that she’s kept up for mostly the entirety of her school life. Hyunjin the jock, Hyunjin the prankster, Hyunjin the class clown. That’s what she’s known she’s been assigned with and didn’t really care for it to be any other way.
Except, when Heejin walked into her life and got to know the real her and well soon did Haseul, for the first time in a long time, Hyunjin was scared. She was always thought by her strict parents to never let anyone just be your friend, to always speak up for yourself yet try and avoid physical confrontation at the chance. When Heejin and Haseul started seeing the quiet shy girl who didn’t know love and was scared to get trampled by others again, that’s when she knew that they became her first two closest friends that didn’t judge this side of her.
The group slowly came to a completion, a plethora of different personalities she encountered that would surround her for the rest of her life, well, overwhelmed Hyunjin if she was being honest.
How should I act around them? Am I still going to be as comfortable as I would be before? With Haseul and Heejin?
It all hit Hyunjin at once like a freight train when Jungeun was soon to be revealed to the public. Of course, she trusts the rest of her members before Jungeun, but would they be as understanding as they would be? And have patience?
Hyunjin was soon brought back to the present of real life, the loud yelling and running around from her younger members hitting her ears. She blinked from momentarily spacing out on the couch next to Jinsol who only laughed at the scene of Yerim and Yeojin playing against each other aggressively on a game.
She hummed at her name being called, her eyes forward to the t.v. and watching the match progress between the two youngest members as of now.
“Hey, baby, you okay?”
Hyunjin slowly turned to the source of the voice, her mind elsewhere when she saw it was Jinsol talking to her. She can see the way the girl had her brows together in worry and that showed the cute little scar that she would often hide. Their eyes met, Jinsol seeing the way Hyunjin’s own eyes with hazy with uncertainty.
“Yeah… I am.” Hyunjin said softly even with how empty her voice sounded from just saying three words.
She should have lied better, growing up with strict parents and always getting out of trouble it second nature to her. Yet, she just couldn’t lie to someone like Jinsol as effortlessly as she would try.
Jinsol only watched her closely for a few seconds before nodding her head with a lazy smile that Hyunjin has grown used to seeing. She knew she shouldn’t push forward so Jinsol opted to just lay a kiss on top of her head and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“Alright, you know I’m always here.”
She knew that and she could open up to Jinsol, but that would be too dangerous for Hyunjin.
Soon enough Sooyoung was revealed, then Jiwoo, Chaewon, and Hyejoo. The last four remaining girls.
The autotune voiced princess stepped into the picture and instantly hit it off with Yeojin like they’ve been friends for a lifetime now. Hyunjin couldn’t believe it at first but that was just like her and Kahei in the beginning, they both had a similar sense of humor and she was just too cute not to be friends with her.
They were doing their Hi High promotions photoshoot in some studio. She observed the third blonde not too far away from where she stood to talk with Jungeun and Haseul. In Hyunjin’s eyes, Chaewon had a soft, mesmerizing beauty with her silky hair that shone under the light and perfect heart shaped smile. She just couldn’t help but let her gaze linger on her as the girl threw her head to laugh at Yeojin dancing.
It warmed her heart yet yearning feeling still tugged at it wanting to get closer with her. They have talked on multiple occasions but they’re conversations didn’t last the whole day like it would with her and Heejin and that’s what she wanted. So far the only thing this little crush held over her was how pretty Chaewon is to her.
“- and we should eat some dessert with that too.”
“Hyunjin-ah, what do you think?”
She turned to Haseul at the question thrown her way, beaming a smile as if nothing was affecting her. “Of course that would be amazing if it’s food I’m all down.”
Haseul smiled as well and turning back to a laughing Jungeun.
“See! What did I tell you…”
Then her voice was slowly washed away by her mind still flooding with different thoughts.
The group was on a small one week break from promotions, currently spending it near at a mostly empty park under the blazing afternoon sun. Everyone had made sure to slather on a generous amount of sunscreen since they were all going to wear their new summer clothing. Hyunjin had on her tank top with shorts and her long, black hair free smoothing over her shoulders. She welcomed the heat invitingly, never getting tired of how it warmed her skin and reminded her of middle school days spent on the basketball court. She was walked closely with Kahei down the trail path and listened closely to her soft voice talking about the beautiful weather.
Her eyes caught a figure zipping around the field not too far away from them and Hyunjin almost stopped walking completely. Chaewon was being chased by a mischievous looking Hyejoo with a water bottle in hand, threatening to throw water on the poor girl. Hyunjin watched the way she smiles managed to smile while laughing and screaming, hair flowing behind her and her long flowery dress giving her a true soft princess look.
She was used to this feeling, this indescribable feeling of loneliness mixed with sadness and other unknown emotions as of now. Right, emotions, something hse hates to be associated with.
Hyunjin tore her eyes away, sighing softly and turning her eyes back on the trail. Chaewon doesn’t look at her, she doesn’t look at her in any type of way. She has Yerim, Hyejoo, and Sooyoung who she’s all close with and maybe a few of the other girls. Hyunjin spoke up gently when a nice silence fell upon Kahei and her.
“Unnie, have you ever had someone interested in you?”
It was a weird question coming from Hyunjin but the girl was known for her weirdness, she couldn’t help it sometimes to voice random things at times. Kahei hummed to her, turning her head to see Hyunjin still keeping her eyes forward.
“Interested… How so? I would say there are different meanings to it.”
Hyunjin nodded, trying to gather her words to try and rephrase it. “Like… have you ever had someone truly interested in you? Someone that doesn’t just want to use you or who only wants to be friends. It would make… heart almost feel trapped…”
She trailed off, not knowing if she was making any sense and glanced at Kahei to see her still wearing that soft smile.
“When you put it that way… I have had multiple people interested in the kind of desires I didn’t want at the time, but you know there was one person who did put her time to me.”
She had a feeling she knew who it was.
“Haseul, she’s amazing. She loves too much, the most I’ve ever seen someone that it had me questions how can such a nice girl like her invest her time in me? She was very patient with teaching me Korean, taking me to every restaurant that she could think of, even visiting my family once. She’s perfect, and we’re perfect.”
It warmed Hyunjin heart to hear such genuine feelings spill into the air, even more so when it’s coming from her friends. However, it didn’t ease the unsettling feeling she felt deep within. She smiled at Kahei before biting her lip and looking down to gently take her hands in hers.
“What…” Hyunjin hesitated, daring to finally look at Kahei who had kind eyes waiting for her with no pressure. “What if, it’s the other way around?”
She flinched at the tiny confession, scared of what would be thrown her way. She felt a hand give her a slight squeeze and saw Kahei smile reassuringly to her.
“Just take it one step at a time, don’t rush yourself and progress through it slowly. You don’t want to bombard the person out of nowhere so take baby steps.”
Hyunjin released a breath she didn’t know she was holding and glanced off to the side to see Yeojin playfully fighting with Chaewon. She smiled to herself and nodded, turning back to give Kahei a brief kiss on her cheek.
“Thank you, I’ll remember that.”
The next two days were spent trying to devise a plan as to how to approach Chaewon without making it too weird. She could ask to play animal crossing with her but Hyunjin isn’t ready to show that side of herself yet, they could watch a movie but Chaewon does get bored of it easily, maybe a board game?
Hyunjin huffed frustratingly to herself, flopping back on her bed and hearing Heejin laugh from the other side.
“Someone seems to be thinking too much.”
Hyunjin mockingly laughed at her friend drawing away at her sketchbook on her bed. “Very funny.”
“I’m a comedian, can’t help it.”
Heejin stuck her tongue out at her before turning her attention back to her drawing. “You sound grumpy, that usually means you’re hungry. Bread specifically.”
Her mouth did water at the thought of bread but surprisingly she didn’t feel as hungry as she thought she would. Hyunjin just rolled over on her side and went back on her phone, scrolling aimlessly to find an entertaining video.
She hummed at hearing Heejin call her. Damn, suppose it’s been a habit for people to get her attention a lot more these days.
“Something wrong? You’re not even barking or making cat noises.”
She laughed lightly at the statement and clicked on another video. Her mind was still fretting excessively on how to approach her crush as much as she would hate to admit it. Now when she put more thought into this, this would be a really bad idea. She could embarrass herself, stutter over her words or even worse run away completely from her. What if she did, oh god that would be so fucking awkward she didn’t even want to begin thinking about that. On the other hand, she can’t just give up that advice Kahei gave her but she still couldn't muster up the courage-
“Heejin! There you are.”
To talk to her.
“Jiwoo unnie, why are you so loud right now…”
Hyunjin froze under her blanket, hearing Jiwoo excitedly enter the room with Chaewon. She sat up rather quickly and pulled the blankets down a bit to see the blonde trying not to awkwardly stand to the side when Jiwoo jumped on Heejin’s bed. The two were screaming and laughing together as Heejin tried to protect her precious art. Oh no, now’s her only chance.
“Hey, Chaewon,” Hyunjin called out and trying to keep her voice even. “Do you want to watch some funny YouTube video with me? There’s a few that had me dying.”
Her mind was screaming at her from the word vomit and cringing internally at the awful word choice. She watched her face carefully for any signs of her being annoyed only to see Chaewon smile at her and already walk in her direction.
“Of course, I trust your judgment of humor.”
It was a small compliment that shouldn’t even mean that much to Hyunjin but it still managed to set her heart fluttering with butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t dare say another word and just laughed while scooting over to the side and make some room for Chaewon.
There were like schoolgirls again, laughing and playfully shoving each other while watching video after video and almost forgetting about the two other girls in the room. Their bare legs would brush against each other causing Hyunjin to blush under the dim lighting in the room, only intensifying when Chae laid her head on her chest and comfortably cuddling up to her. She wouldn’t have imagined the blonde to be so affectionate so soon after spending a little time together. Hyunjin just silently prayed that she didn’t hear how fast her heart was beating.
The moon soon showed through the curtain as the light buzz in the living room signified that dinner was going to be served later.
“Oh my god,” Hyunjin snorted at one particular cat videos. “Chaewon did you see-”
She paused at hearing a light snore close to her ear. Hyunjin can only guess that the girl had fallen asleep at one point and didn’t notice it.
Her eyes widened at realizing the situation she’s in right now. She had a sleeping Chaewon on her with a small arm over her stomach and her arm around her shoulders. Hyunjin just realized the tickling sensation on her arm from Chaewon’s arm, trying to lay completely still. She blushed harder when the said girl shifted and snuggled close into her, face inches away from her neck. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest, ringing in her ear as Hyunjin tried to just enjoy every second of having her so close.
A soft knock came from the door and another blonde head peeked inside cautiously. It was Jinsol about to speak up but Hyunjin was quick to place her finger on her lips to sign her that Chaewon was sleeping. Jinsol only nodded at her with that dopey smile and signaled to her that dinner was ready before giving her a thumbs up. Once Jinsol was out of sight, Hyunjin had a few moments of panicked silence as she tried to think of a way to wake up Chaewon without scaring her too much.
“Chaewon-ah, wake up sleepyhead,” Hyunjin whispered, her voice soft like air. She watched at Chaewon only groaned quietly and scrunched up her nose, Hyunjin almost cooing at how cute she looked.
“I just want to keep sleeping here with you.” She said voice laced with sleepiness that still held that high tone.
Hyunjin closed her eyes for a second to gather herself. She was only saying a few words that embarrassingly made Hyunjin nervous and her mind going crazy.
“There’s food,” She said softly and that instantly woke Chaewon up.
The blonde opens her eyes and immediately started getting up and tugging at Hyunjin’s hand that sent spikes of electricity.
“Why didn’t you say that earlier, let’s go eat before they do!”
Hyunjin could only smile and let herself be helplessly led by Chaewon to the bustling living room and sitting on the couch with her, still holding her hand while they laughed with a few of the other members.
Damn, was she whipped already.
Everything is going so well for Hyunjin.
She’s been smiling more, laughing with Yeojin and Yerim more, even going as far to play a few rounds on the playstation. It was all because everything is just how she wanted it with Chaewon like painting their nails together, sneaking out to the store at night, sleepovers every other night and singing together in the practice room.
But of course, someone just had to be in the way of it all.
They went back to the studio to finish another session of photoshoots and were currently filming another Loona TV episode with Chaewon, Hyejoo, and Sooyoung. Hyunjin was content to be squished right next to Chaewon, joking for her to leave since her blonde hair didn’t match with the rest of them. They posed a few times before the camera was off of them for a bit.
“Hyunjin…” Chaewon whined when her cheeks were attacked with kisses from the taller girl. She only laughed at her small voice, a smidge of guilt hidden from under her mask from playfully telling Chaewon to leave.
“You know you love it.” She said with another kiss that had Chaewon roll her eyes with a smile.
She saw the cameraman walk back inside the room and walking towards Sooyoung and Jungeun when an idea hit her. She rushed over to the camera, pulling Chaewon with her as she whispered to him.
“Hyunjin, what are you doing? We’re not that close,” She quickly shushed the girl at the sudden proclamation and continued as if nothing happened. “Then how can we take a natural selfie?”
Although Hyunjin wished she was joking, she can see the slightly annoyed twitch of her eyebrow on Chaewon that sent a wave of hurt to her heart. The whole week was spent with them being around each other to the point they almost didn’t hang out with the other members, but she still felt it was some sort of progress compared to months of just polite words. Hyunjin ignored the way those words still left a stinging pain in her heart and instead tried to make up for it with a game.
“Sse sse sse…” She said softly while clapping their hands together and starting the game.
“Yves unnie,” Chaewon called helplessly but still playing along with Hyunjin.
They continued for a while, Hyunjin surprised at seeing the blonde being able to keep up with her, well somewhat.
“Let’s do the friendship test!” She suddenly exclaimed over Chaewon’s talking.
Hyunjin wished they didn’t hear the slightly annoyed sigh that left her, the way she was still trying to move away and how she awkwardly went along with her. How she wished she didn’t see all of that.
So, she did what she knew best, ignore the pain and put up a blinding smile.
“Let’s show them how good our friendship is!”
Friendship… how she didn’t want that word associated with them.
They were able to be in sync for a few seconds until Chaewon couldn’t catch up with her and with how hard she was laughing. Hyunjin wrapped an arm around Chaewon’s waist to bring the girl close to her, feeling vulnerable from what Chaewon was saying but it only got worse. She stared at the blonde who was quick to disagree with her about them being close.
“No! We’re not close!”
Hyunjin forced a smile, taking her eyes off of her and looking directly into the camera while she was pulled into a hug. She caught movement from the other side of the room and saw another one of their members frowning slightly as Yeojin walked in.
That, someone, was Hyejoo.
Hyunjin her eyes cast down when she saw Hyejoo eyes pierce into her and laughed, shaking her head.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because they look like they’re too close with each other.”
Hyunjin swallowed roughly, her throat tightening up from hearing such cold, biting words fill her head. It just had to be Hyejoo who could spend all the time in the world with Chaewon no matter the group activities they had and not missing the way Chaewon’s eyes sparkled from seeing her. She did see it and wanted nothing more than to let the floor swallow her up and take her away from everyone.
“Let’s stop now, I’m so tired.” She lamely said with a smile, although her voice sounded the opposite.
Hyunjin didn’t let Chaewon finish the rest of her sentence and instead let Yeojin take the spotlight from her. She walked over to Jungeun and Sooyoung who were still in the noisy room and joined their conversation, all the while her eyes would occasionally glance at Chaewon who was now laughing with Hyejoo.
That’s when it started, that’s when her heart started to deteriorate from the overwhelming love she has for Chaewon.
After that day, it seemed like an invisible wall was placed right between Hyunjin and Chaewon.
Hyejoo… She took her spot now.
Everywhere they went she saw them holding hands, whispering into each other’s ears and shoulders always bumping into each other. They were soon being affectionate in front of fans and she would roam on twitter to see pictures of them as a couple smiling and people melting over how perfect they looked. It would only give her a sick feeling from seeing how happy Chaewon was without her and quickly leave the app just as quick as she opened it.
Hyunjin sighed from her spot on the bed where Yeojin sat on the other side singing softly and playing on her switch. Her mind wandered back to a few weeks ago when Chaewon was right next to her on this same bed and remembered the way her contagious laugh filled Hyunjin with joy. She misses it, misses it so fucking much that it should be pathetic considering a person like Hyunjin. She was strong and was always taught to be strong and never let anyone have control over her feelings but when she accidentally clicked on one of the videos she watched with Chaewon she had to place her phone down before tears could threaten to spill.
She sat up, running a hand through her hair and catching Yeojin’s attention. “Unnie, that was like the third time you sighed, what’s wrong?”
Yes, what is wrong with her? Why couldn’t she seemingly let go of this stupid crush at dangled over her emotions and messing up her everyday mood?
Hyunjin stayed quiet while staring off to the side blankly. Yeojin paused her game and placed the switch down before turning to face the older of the two.
“You don’t have to tell me everything, unnie, but it’s also important for you to talk just like when you check on me.”
She smiled at the innocent yet wise comment from Yeojin and finally made eye contact with her, sighing once again.
“I like someone… but I like them too much even though they probably don’t like me.” Just saying that one sentence was enough to relieve the weight on her shoulders as Yeojin nodded at her, waiting for her to continue.
“We’ve only been joking around with each other but I want us to spend nice little moments where we can cuddle and talk endlessly about our day.”
Yeojin stared at her for a minute until she gave her a small smile. “I understand… that’s me right now too.”
Hyunjin whipped her at Yeojin, eyes wide and taken aback by her confession. Yeojin? Has a crush too? She tried to remember the countless times she’s been around the girl to ever think about her blushing at the thought of someone else or a mention of someone’s name.
“I like her way too much.”
Hyunjin gasped softly and watched how Yeojin fiddles with the ends of her long brown hair, nervously smiling. She likes girls… just like her.
“Yeojin,” Hyunjin said slowly, moving closer to her. “When was this? And who? I mean, if you don’t mind that is.” She all but rushed the rest of her words out, still in shock from hearing the news.
“I trust you anyways, Hyunjin, but still let’s make sure this stays between us.” Yeojin held up her pinky with a serious look, eyes vulnerable under the light.
“I promise, Yeojin.” She said just as serious and pinky promised her. She watched as she took a deep breath before spilling her everything.
“It’s… It’s Yerim.”
Hyunjin contained another shock expression from taking over her face and held Yeojin’s hand with a squeeze.
“She doesn’t see me as just a little kid or anything compared to the other unnies and people from the school. She doesn’t make fun of me at all and always cheers me up whenever I’m sad. I appreciate it so much, I appreciate her most of all for having patience with me when I sometimes struggle with the choreo or when I need help with language homework. She’s… my crush and my best friend.”
Yeojin mumbled the last part with a shaky voice, trying not to cry right here in front of Hyunjin. The older girl only pulled her in for a hug and stroked her hair as she started to talk again.
“My point is Hyunjin is don’t be like me and pretend like nothing’s wrong. Just confess to her, even if she might reject you there’s always a chance. Please, don’t give up,” Yeojin pulled away to wipe a few tears and gaze up at Hyunjin, a hurt smile gracing her lips. “If she can’t see the real you then there’s always someone else who will.”
Hyunjin nodded, her own eyes teary eyed from the advice. “Of course, the same goes for you Yeojin, you should tell her how you feel.”
Yeojin smiled softly, pulling her into one more hug. “We’ll both try for each other, right?”
That day, she learned she wasn’t the only one.
It was another dinner night spent at the dorm, the whole place alive with all twelve girls moving around. Hyunjin was again in her a happier mood when Yeojin told her she made a mini confession to Yerim not too long after their talk and the sweet ball of sunshine felt the same way too. It gave her a burst of confidence to tell Chaewon her true feelings tonight as she helped Sooyoung and Kahei in the kitchen.
“I like seeing you like this,” Kahei had whispered to her and it only made Hyunjin giggle while she finished washing her hands. Sooyoung had told her that she’s done with helping and thanked her profusely before she walked to the living room to see the rest of her members except Hyejoo who was most likely having another gaming session. She sat next to Heejin who flashed her a smile and placed an arm around her shoulders.
“There you’ve been!” Heejin said happily. “Felt like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”
Hyunjin shook her head, making a mental note to try and spend more time with her best friend since she was kind of avoiding everybody lately.
“I’m here now.” She said with a wink and the two fell into a comfortable conversation.
All night, her anxiety had been eating her up from approaching Chaewon at the right moment. She made sure to talk with her again and binge a few movies that she’s been meaning to watch and go on a few late night adventures again with her. Hyunjin has been able to glimpse the side of Chaewon that’s quiet, soft spoken and rambling on about animal crossing if not more than Yeojin. It made content to see how she was able to get closer to the girl and also telling her side of the story that a very few heard. She talked to her about how in school people would often bully her so she had to make herself tough, she talked about her parents always telling her to be humble and kind to others, she even told her about her sexuality and how she’s been confused for so long and finally embraced herself.
She almost cried on the spot when Chaewon hugged her and told her how much she also related to her and said she’s also been confused too. It gave Hyunjin that same spark of hope that just maybe, maybe, she did have a chance as Yeojin told her.
Hyunjin eyes flitted to the other side of the dorm when she saw Chaewon stand up from the couch and head down the hallway. She saw Yeojin turn to her and nodded her head with a subtle smile. She nodded back, swallowing back her nervousness and waited a minute before excusing herself from Heejin. This was it, this was her chance and she was going to make the most of it.
She saw one of the doors open and headed in that direction, taking one last deep breath before walking in.
Oh, this was a mistake.
Hyunjin stopped right by the door, mouth agape, and eyes wide when she saw the scene in front of her.
There was Chaewon… sitting on Hyejoo’s lap with hands bunching up her jacket and face red from her uneven breathing. She just had to catch the last glimpse of their lips pressed together to permanently burn the picture in her head. She stumbled over her words, taking a step back and feeling her face flush at catching them in this position.
“Hyunjin…” Chaewon said softly, her voice different from any other time she has spoken with her.
“Holy shit, I-” Hyunjin back hit the wall behind her and finally wrenched her eyes off of them. “Shit- I’m s-sorry dinner is ready.”
Before any of the two could call out to her she was already stumbling down the hallway to wherever she could she alone. Chaewon liked Hyejoo the whole time, she never liked Hyunjin, never even batted an eye at the idea of them but most importantly she let Hyunjin expose such a crucial, vulnerable part of herself that nobody else knew, not even Heejin. She stopped and leaned against the door to the subunit bedroom door and clenched her jaw in anger.
She was stupid, so fucking stupid to do that. She should’ve seen the signs the moment when Chaewon started spending most of her time with Hyejoo but she was in denial the whole time. She didn’t want to think about the person she liked the most not thinking about her, she wanted to keep that fantasy in her head but it all came crashing down on her at full force.
Anger, heartbreak, confusion, and most of all betrayal all hit her at that very moment.
“Hmm, Hyunjin? Are you hurt? What happened?”
She felt a tentative hand on her back and snapped her eyes open, feeling the tears springing to her eyes. No, no, no, she can’t cry in front of anyone she doesn’t want to be seen as weak.
“Hey, let’s get you to sit down for a second.”
But she was tired of fighting everyone and everything that she just let the tears fall freely as sobs came out softly, letting herself be led inside. She heard the door close behind her and felt the same hand on her back and led her to her bed. She sat down slowly as the person crouched in front of her to look into her red eyes.
It was Jinsol.
Hyunjin felt her hands in hers, seeing the soft worried look in Jinsol’s eyes.
“Do you just want to lay down and skip dinner?” Jinsol asked gently, smoothing her thumb over her knuckles.
Hyunjin just nodded weakly, too tired to even think anymore as Jinsol guided her to lay down and following after her.
“N-No, you don’t have to.” She said with a hiccup when Jinsol pulled the covers over them and only placed a kiss on her forehead.
“I want to, Hyunjin, let me be there for you.”
And how could she refuse?
Jinsol made sure to send a text to Haseul and telling her that Hyunjin felt a little sick and put her phone away. Hyunjin knew people care for her but she didn’t know how much Jinsol did for her. The older girl rubbed her back soothingly as she cried the night away, murmuring soft words into her hair as Hyunjin let the warmth from her body comfort her, the scene of Chaewon and Hyejoo replaying in her head.
Not once did Jinsol pushed her to tell her what’s wrong, holding her all night and placing kisses on her cheek again and again to ease her mind. It did work for Hyunjin as she eventually smiled shyly at being taken care of, a small part of her silently loving the attention she was getting. Jinsol talked about the most random of things once she stopped crying and still kept a protective arm on her and all Hyunjin could do was watch the way her eyes would turn into cute crescent moons. She wasn’t Chaewon’s goofy smile but still seeing the joy on Jinsol’s face brought her a smile.
They ended up in the bathroom later together, brushing their teeth and doing their other nightly routines quietly as everyone else fell asleep respectively. Once they were done Hyunjin turned to Jinsol one more time and gazed up to her before they could leave the bathroom.
“Jinsol…” She started, watching the way she nodded to her. “Thank you for taking care of me, I think I would have been a mess without your help.”
Jinsol was quick to shush her and pulled her in for another hug. “Do not thank me, please, I did it because I wanted too and I care about you Hyunjin. Seeing you sad makes me sad and I wouldn’t want for that to happen.”
Hyunjin stilled under her arms until she pulled her closer by her neck and letting a few more tears fall, smiling into her hair.
“Thank you, Jinsol.”
That night, Jinsol slept in her bed with one final kiss to her cheek before they fell asleep peacefully beside each other.
The pain is still ever so present in her heart.
Now she realizes how their hands linger, how they often go out together to places, the way their eyes would travel over their bodies. Hyunjin sees it all now when she was so blind before.
She tugs her hoodie closer as a gust of wind walked right past her in the eerie silence of the night. She shouldn’t be thinking about it now when it’s already been a month but she still can’t help the random memories of her and Chaewon. Entering the convenience store, Hyunjin walked in the direction to find one of her favorite icecreams. When she didn’t have bread to comfort, a vanilla flavored ice cream always did the trick. She thanked the cashier and quickly walked back outside only to bump into someone in the process.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry-” Hyunjin apologized only to be cut off with a chuckle. She saw the familiar light blonde hair under a black cap wearing a jacket and pulling her mask down slightly.
Hyunjin just stood there, the shock dissipating as she hit Jinsol on her shoulder. She was so careful to leave, how did she follow her?
“I had a feeling something was up with you so I stayed awake and followed you quietly only to see you were heading outside,” Jinsol explained as they walked to a nearby park, sitting on the swings. “When I saw you all dressed up, I just had to make sure you were safe and not doing anything too crazy at least.”
Hyunjin hummed as she ate her ice cream in silence, the two swinging softly. She turned to Jinsol and saw her mask was now pulled under her chin and she could see her smiling.
The girl who was taking all of her time but she wouldn’t want it any other way. Hyunjin soon learned that the girl has always been there from the very beginning of their first meeting, whenever they had a fan meeting that Jinsol would always be right by her side and whenever she cried she would coo to her softly while calling her pet names and stroking her head. Jinsol has always been there and helped her move on with her life when she was at her lowest and most vulnerable she’s ever been for someone.
Hyunjin unconsciously smiled at one memory popping up in her head. “Remember that day when you were walking in front of me and I was kind of spaced out until you leaned in to just compliment me and had me all smiling shyly.”
Jinsol laughed, nodding her head and facing Hyunjin. “How could I forget, baby?”
Her heart leaped at the name, practically floating on cloud nine from hearing it. Jinsol was almost exclusively calling her baby and it only warmed Hyunjin with a million butterflies. She was afraid to trust someone again as she did with Chaewon, to trusts Jinsol, but eventually, she did tell her everything and more. She talked to her about her feelings for Chaewon, how she was jealous and angry but also understood she couldn’t force her to do anything, how she cried every night at home from a horrible depression she had to deal with in her life and how she always had to act like someone else often in front of others. Jinsol listened to every bit of her deepest secrets and never once made fun of her for anything, never once ran away from her.
Jinsol was going to truly be there for her.
“Hyunjin? You spaced out there, baby.” Jinsol giggled at seeing Hyunjin blink a few times.
She raised her eyebrows when Hyunjin stood up and pulled her up from her spot on the swing. Hyunjin did what she thought she would never imagine to be doing.
“Hyunjin, what are you-”
And kissed her.
One hand cupped her cheek while the other still held her ice cream carefully. She felt Jinsol jump slightly only to lean in and kiss her gently, her hands holding her waist as if she was going to disappear from her. Hyunjin tilted her head and kissed Jinsol a little harder, the hand on her cheek traveling down to grip onto her jacket as she was pulled in closer by her waist. Jinsol hummed and sent vibrations all over her lips, tasting the vanilla that she was eating and filling her taste buds. They pulled away, breathing heavily and still close enough to feel it hit their lips.
Hyunjin smiled, leaning to place one more kiss and feel her heart racing happily.
“You, Jung Jinsol, mean the whole world to me.”
Jinsol smiled brightly and kissing her cheek, feeling just as overjoyed as she was.
“And you, Kim Hyunjin, I would do anything for you.”
That night, she learned what real true love is.