Chapter 1: Rising Smoke
“Damn Lloyd you done lucked out with that Collette” I say to Lloyd sitting in my backyard of my house. “Yeah bro shes a niiiiiiiice catch heheh” chortles Genis my best friend from college (but we graduated at a young age because were both super smart.”Shuck” retorts Lloyd to us still sitting “Im just glad someone finally gives me a chance you know?” “Yeah man your so nice” Suddenly smokes rising in the distance damn its that damn greenpeace bitch Misty. Or Misty Springs as her full name is.
.Coughing “What is that horrible smell am I right” I exclaimed to Lloyd and getting really nervous he checked his pits whiffing them “oh I hope not I wore my Chocalate Axe to impress Collette today Lloyd said back to me and its true I can smell it from here. Piping up Genis said well you see this is actually carbon dioxide fumes being emitted from a socalled medicine herb known as mariwuana which as you know is a gateway drug to worse things like the crack cocain the Desians are selling downtown” Genis said smartly. Too true I remembered the intellectal chats Genis and me have about the Reigen administration. Looking over I saw that damn hippie Misty in her backyard smoking pot with her hippy friends.
Now the THC (Thymine-Hydro-Carbonates genis and I learnt from our organic biochemistry indpendent study lab class in Palmacosta Univeristy (our almater). “Dman that bitchs smoke is worse then lloys pits’ chuckling as Colete slides down the porch (damn nice entrance].”hey turn that cuntry shit down shouting from the next door neighbor is Misty te hippie bitch. “Nah broad Garth Brooks is the best (nice one bro I highfive genis”. Damn things are getting pretty tense now. So much for the calming effects of weed amirite? Storming over into our yard misty comes over to us. “Guess this broad wants to get smacked’ says Genis taking cup and balls out readying to throedown (like a hoedown plus a throwdown.
Misty grinning evil as her hippie friends scattered like the treehugging squirls they are she adjusted her tie die T shirt and yanked her peace necklace. “Guess stereo types exist for a reason huh guys” Lloyd said sipping on his RC cola until Misty yanked the straw out of his cup and threw it away. “Single use plasticks are bad and are killing the enviorment” Misty cackled with a viscous smile (its not even true if they were bad they would of been banned already) and pointing at her chest Colette says “that chest defiantly is plastic and its got no use at all” as everyone went “Oooooohhhh” damn thats crazy but the girl said it so its cool. Even Genis looked a little proud as he summens Fireball and Misty got set on fire “I am on fire” Misty said (no shit).
Heh then maybe you should cool down a bit Genis says summening an aqua edge (nice one bro). The water splashes on her face like the mineral supplements she rubs in her face “or rocks as genis and i know they really are (mika to be specific). The Genis pulls out his big guns or rather his big icicles crashing down on her. “Damn bro leave some for the rest of us” gripes Llyod like hes one to talk probably banging Collete as soon as hes back alone with her. On her knees (not for the first time im sure) in her weakened state Kratos approaches her. Readies his scythe he readies his up and is prepared to kill her.No wai- but she’s cut short (like lloid) as his scythes come down severing her soul into three seperated pieces with three slashes; Using his Soul Sever move Kartos lamentis his eyes at the pieces of her sould now in three pieces scattering in the wind like her pot smoke.
Now Misty is no more and we can enjoy our bonfire again,
Chapter 2: Green Fortress
“Open youre doors and admit the global warming change narritive is a hokes said Ike welding his Falcon holding his sword to the door of the evil adgency also knew to the people in the U.S.A as the Enviormental Protect Adgency or the Epa for short as flanking him on both side’s are Roy Boy Corin and Boy Robin from Fire emblem for 3ds. “OPEN UP YOU FUCKS” Roy charges a Firey blast readying his sword to blast the doors with fire when all the sudden they opened up the cackling coming from the base as Goddess martel strided out “HA HA HA HA HA DID YOU HONEST THINK YOU COLD STOP ME using a Davine blast on them all blasting them back.
Oh Shit shitted ike the fire spalshing back on him. Taking a defecive stanse. Ike prepairs his Golden Falcon [not the captain] and blasts a blast out of it at the goddess who gets blasted back blasting the wall apart. NIce one” said corrin. Too bad if globe warming was reel shed be insinuated by now. Urgh damed the goodess slowly rising back to her sexy feet but she levetates. Rising from the debree roy readys another flare blast. “Wait” says Martle if you keep the heat the global warming will intensify. What a load of shit. “What a load of shit” Ike said repping his falcon for a final strike. Swinging it twice through the firey air he cleaves the goddess except its where the goddess use to be because she teleported away Damn.
“Nice try Goddess Mart but if your honestly think your convensing any one you can think again you echo terrorist (think about it if global worming actually real how come it still snows during winter?) However martel telaport behind Boy robin reveling her twisting finger nail’s and its really gross learn to trim you hippie however suprising her is Boy robin “heh nice try he laughed than whimping around snatched her face and ripped of the mask and its none other then Jill stine from the Green (idiot) party. Honest she is kinda stupid aside from not beleaving vaxeens.
“We can and must shift to an economy in which 100% of our electricity is generated renew- Robin cuts her off. Then he cuts her hand off too with his Levi sword. Bitch. We can generate our own power with our power. He sais powering lighting thruogh his jagged edge. Sparking it cackles about striking lighting everywhere Damn bro chuckles ike careful with that shit I almost fucking died. Hehe sorry giggles robin my bee. Lucky for ike he alwasy uses rubber. Looking around they notice the goddes martel is goen. Damn the bitch says shes green but shes pretty yellow after all sighs roy sheething his sword. What a bitch.
Fuck. Can you imagine that tree hugging c*nt got away from us said Ike hosting his Falcon back over his soldier as Roy and Boy Robin clamped his back with theyre hands and then chiming in “Yeah Ike probably to steel more vote’s from Texas repersentative Ron Pall from texas said Ike taking out his I Phone and going to the contacts. Shit cant believe he gonna have to do this. “But Ike today was Marths spa days hes doing face care rootine… says Boy robin whining like bitch before Ike shoved his falcon to the dirt front of him. “I fight for my friends Boy robin and your not included” and then Roy went Ooooooooohhhhh. Dialing into his phone Ike went to call Marth saying this is the only choose we have but got a number wrong. I wonder who he will call on accident instead on mistake.
Chapter 3: Rainy Days
Spliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish coming down. Fuck finally some piece and now its fucking rained on our bonfire. “Damn it lloyded. Also coming (not like that} is Rain whose Genis hot sister. Hey I didnt know you were here says Genis to her. Oh you know around quotes Rain what about you. Just smacking some dumb bitc- but before he can finish Rain’s hands smakc lloid across the face (damn i wish that were me). Whos the dumb bitch now bitch laughs rain at lloid. Damn colder then one of Genis isicles. Anyway we dont know you came with use says Genis to his smokin sis. (But not weed smoke because thats bad for us).
Woaahhhhhh stop smacking me! Lloyd says stumpling away from rain and planting he’s face between Colettes not yet full size but emerging boob’s she giggling with surprise and says pervert. Rain comes up and smacks him again “Serves you right you fucking chad (not really true but what ever) as I cuckle to myself when all the sudden my I Phone ringing in my pocket playing nightcore remix of Fire emblem theme found on Youtubes. Better pick up Genis exclaims to me which is true man he is so smart. Fuck whose on the other end I cant hardly hear over the staticks when I hear a mans voice so I respect it “Hey marth you on the phone” but thinking he say my name Garth I say yeah whats up.
YO marth you’re balls drop you sound deeper. Oh shit marth not garth well shit. “Hye man i thought you said garth not marth Im garth not marth sorry.’ OH shit says the voice but its too late. Summening through the phone ike roy and robin cum squeezing into our world (come not cum). And corring too I forgot him. Suddenyl Ike Corrin robin boy roy is in our world! Dayummmmmmmmmmmm says corrin. Karos draws blades readying to fight wiait we come in piece says Roben. Oh okay put the sithes away Karon I say to him as he puts his sithes away. Now now boys lets settle down chimes rain.
“Ok Ike from Fire emblem whats the deal going on with you coming though my I Phone like that… before i can finish Roy pointing up sky says FUCK LOOK AT WHATS COMING! and flying in the sky were flying drones theyre guns pointed at us and on them are thermeters saying tempature. Saying 120 degrees. Bull shit checking my I Phone i see the whether is cool crisp 68 degrees just more fake sadistics from the Epa “yeah those are Jill Stines evil robuts and basically theirs evil a foot” Genis coming forward said heh well if evils a foot then im twelve inch Genis. The Genis laughing and we all follow along man what a cool guy Colette looks at him her eye glimming. Avancing four squares to the drones the swordsman use Team attack using some of their manna to Joint sword and make Ultra Falcon. Slashing the drones down they exploding as Garth brook keeped playing in the background fuck that was a good one boys Roy shouted but Kraft did not shouted not even getting use his sithes.
Suddenly raining again the bonfire goes out damn what a waste. I got this fam Ike pulling out his regal lights in on fire to ightth the fire on fire and its back on fire. Nice one bro says his borther roy. Rain giggles to herself. Alright so its about time we induced ourselfs I said to Ike Roy Corrin Robin (The FE4). “I’m Ike says Ike” “Im roy says roy” “Im corrin” says corrin. “What about you robin” says ike to robin. “Oh yeah Im robin”.
Chapter 4: Meeting of the Minds
This is so crazy I am thinking that the EPA (enviormental protection agency as discussed before and if your forget this already please consider a reread so anyway what I am saying is that i read a newpaper article defrauding the EPA just earlier that also exposes them as a hokes. The newspaper sticking out of my bad pocket yeah thats right its printed on paper from TREES so yeah. “Honest to god the problem is people thinking with feelings instead of facts and thats the truth Genis said clapping me on the back and I could fill his smartness through the slap. Thanks Genis. Or should I say best friend Genis.
WHAT the fuck is that shit screems ike. Yo what the fuck you got a fuckin promblem bor. YEah its that shit in your ass. Yo thats gay I mean your ass pocket dipshit. Oh this? its just an article on the epa- YEAH I know those fuckers I htought you were cool but you punks really aint shit Ike getting his falon out. Shit you wanna brawl says lloyd pulling out his sword. damn it boyt to go down. Taking stances on one side is lloyd kronos rain and colette; on the other is ike roy robin roy and corring. Genis and i stay out of it because we intellectuals are above petty squables. Ike opens up opening up a can of woopass with his regall falcon waves blasing across the yard. Lloyd counters screeaming DEMON FANG and Karos fallows up with DOUBLE DEMON FANG their little waves hit ikes big ones cancelling out.
NO ike my man youve got it all wrong its a misunderstading I say to Ike but it seems like they aren’t listening and then whisking out in front is Corring growling at me all evily but also comin up to block the strike is Coalete jumping out and ate the hit for me. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Lloyd screaming as he whimped up he’s swords at the ready for a plungeing strike at the evil doers neck but not actal evil because it was only a misunderstanding. ITS A MISUNDERSTANDING I repeat as Ike slashed at my ass pocket with Falcor the pamplet falling out but the headline still hiding. Collete has taking a big sword hit cross the chest and bleeds alot. Genis and me shaking our heads cause this is relly immature what a bunch of childs.
Rain rushing up to roy and corrin smacks them repeatedly in faces (DAMN i wish that were me). Their noses blooding from pain and maybe a little someting else. robi n not much for watching reels his lightning blade sparkling about. Ike jumps back and back froward at me and genis not taking it anymore yells enough. Summons an ice tornado freezing all in there tracks their attacks slow to a crawl. He bends over and picks up the magezine unfurling it for all to see the title “EPA is a hoax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. OH shiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeet goes corring. Ike on his knees bows and akss forgiveness. I offer my hand to him to help him up saying its okay brother we still cool no really its really fucking cool get rid of the ice. Heh sorry genised dispelling the tornades.
Well if were going to team up we need to be on good trems I said. Also its cool cause the magazine looks like it has EPA before its out of my ass pcoket. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Roy said realizing his flubs. Ike really was ashamed saying “man I feel like a bitch like that girl Marth” not noticing the Falcon sinking to the gruound. Getting up we look over turning to the girl Marth but its not Marth instead wearing a green peace hat. Looks like Marth but is also not marth but is rather Lucina nad she says are you ready to die. Oh shit I said not again getting ready to fight.
Chapter 5: Fire Emblem
Are you ready to die chimes in lucina (kinda hot ngl). Damn we still wounded this could be a toughie. Rain leaps away from lucina reading a haeling spell. Ay yo pass that shit my way excalimes corrin rushing towards lucine. He swing his sword down over his head (in an overhead fashion going straight for the head (like misty at her hippy parties). Lucina enters a countering stance and counters throwing corrin off his rhythm. But at the moment rain’s speel activates basking corrin in a warm glow so he counters her counter with a counter of his own. Now lucina is the one off her rhythm.
Heh nice I nudged Genis in the shoulder. Odds looking in our favor on this one eh Genis. Yeah the Genis reply’s tho where Im wondering is where that Lloyd and colette wondered of to this time? Looking over under the porch of my back yard i am notcing that the star crosed lovers are butt naked doin the old P n V. “YIKES” Roy said covering his eyes “do not spoil my vigin eyes! Come on Roy shouldnt a boy like you getting a lay well maybe your not a ladys men. Also coming up was Rain to stop the PDA under the porche thrusting the close upon Loyd and Collette slapping them across the checks but Lloyd and Colete thrusting to and by that meaning their thrusting into eachother. “Dude Genis make them stop i said Yeah man Im trying but this unbelievable and honestly his tekneek bad. Genis said thinking maybe he could do better and everyone watches in appaledness.
Like lloid and colete Corring and Lucine seem to be grinding. To a halt that is. The fights goin nowhere fast. Yo maybe one a you bee-yotches wanna help out over here eh? Guess thats my que steeping up i pull out my longlance. Everyone staring at it in awe. Even lucine is impressed by its length. Wieliding it effortlessly i spin about a few times causing her to recoil in intimidaation. Getting over herself she readies a srtiker but i block it with my shaft. Corrin whistles longly. Damn watch the merchandise honey. Now the thunder rolling outside like in the Garth Brooks hit song The Thunder Rolls. The lightning strikes the bonfire reignitng it. Ayyyyyyyyyyyy thats whats good yells corrin. Heh you wanna see something good lucinea runs her blade taking the fire on it turning her falcon into the fire emblem. holy shit says ike. Brandishing about it we all recoil back even The genis is afraid a little but not too much.
Huh funny Ike said ponting at the Fire emblem. For someone apparnetly obsessed with stoping global wearming your sure not doing much of anything to stop it with your fire causing the environment to heat up Ike said. Lucing scoffing “oh please you know thats not how it works besides the climate chamge is real now you got any questions. Yeah I got one said Roy coming first if climate change is real explain the four seasons. Are you relaly telling me that humans cause it to csnow during the December. Lucine having no answer gets salty instead and stabbed Roy instead. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” tears running down my face but Rain coms up using a healing spell and Roys hit is good as new. Roy i thouhgy yoiure going to die I say. Well not today Roy said and then he stabbed lucina in the chest. Instakill.
Unfortunately roy hit her in her chest which she pads so the padding softened the blow. Daym at least she ain’t plastic like Misty. Hngh groans Lucy and thats when it hit me. The fake chest. The fondness for head. The global change bs shit. It s misty. Youre misty I shout at her. Heheheheh only half right or should i say one thirds right. When Krane soul severd our soul we didnt die because the government radio waves spilt us into three persons. Damn I guess it goes that way. But before i can gather my thoughts a burst of fire comes my way from her blade scorching me but i hang on thanks to genis last minute ice wall (nice one bro). I guess a country boy can survive. But maybe not for long things are heating up and not in the global warming way.
Chapter 6: Spa Day
Marth sitting in the spa. Damn the spa is pretty good and wearing the cucumber mask can you imagine that. Damn the spas good today Marth says admiring his falcon laying pool side. The sword that is butt sudddenly from the other room a girls coming (entering the room I mean) to the spa her D cups out “Wait this is mans spa- Marth is cut off by Camillas tits in his face damn he lucked out. Camilla smiling finger on her lips winked and lowers to the spa but wait Marth says. This is mans spa. “Yeah but no ones gotta now she says good point Camille. Nice Marth will prove the others his not gay. Soaking in the water there less then five feet a part and now his other falcon start to rise damn.
Entranced by camilles fertile bosom and bulbous rump notcing that faclon has vanished. Thats pretty suspicion i think oh no honey just something in your eye and thats when he sees it. Falcor has gone! Standing up from the water spraying eveyrwhere is gets on everyhting. Now camillas wet in two ways i guess. Tking out his falcon marth gets ready to fight her off to proctec his manhood from her wily ways. Taking out her axe camilla is ready to fight to.
Marth going for opneing strike bolts forward boiiiinnnnggggg. Marth bounces right of Camiles supple tits rickoshays backword. Shit said Marth but I dont regert a taste of that you know. Heh is that what you thnik. Camil says pulling out her posion vial and sticks it in Marths neck now the dragon slaying swordman is posion. What did you do Marth said his nake body topplin back into the spa. Splliissshh coming down gasping for breathe. “Dont you see it your poison now” gasping for breath Marth asked can I have One Last Phone Call. Okay sure Camilla says heres the phone. Gulping what number will Marth dile into the phone.
But not thinking about it long when the phone starts vibrating marth raising an eyebrow at camilla hehe she giggles. Marth answers the phone and the other end goes “YO marth get youre ass over here we could use some backup. But marth stuttering because he kinda wants to stick around but ike leaves him no choice. Suddenly filling the pool with bright lighting is th phone sucking marth and camilla in. ssuddenly they come spalshing down into garth’s world, the spa water putting out lucine’s fire emblem (and the bonfire). Yo dis BALLIN’ yells corring now we have a fighting chance again.
Damn it Lucine things but the phon in her pocket starts vibrating too! Giggling in big delight she pulls it out and its kinda sticky whats up with that. Hello who is it?? and sucking out of her phone comes the pruple hair D cup goddess that will all know and hate. And then Camilla is also in the real world dammit. Marth thinks he could live in behind at mans spa oh well. YO Marth Ike shouts. “Yes? I said then realizing oh shit Im Garth not Marth. Whats that Garth? Ike says and Marth says Yes? Oh SHIT I’m Marth not Garth. No Im Garth not Marth! Your Marth? Im Garth. We’re Garth and Marth! Me and Marth shake hands and smile, nice to meet you marth heh you to garth. Genis looking by suddenly angery is he jealous of my frend ship with Marth (Marth not garth. I can tell his little mad cause his mad.
Colete slutting up says i should maybe be nicer to my old friends so i tell her hoes mad. Damn bro we still cool genis acknodwleding my epic roast. Speaking of roast lucine is fuming i guess cause her fights inter upted. Marth yells for everyone to look at him as runs his falcon through her modest chest knocking her out on the spot. Damn i guess she ran out of padding turing our gazes we look over to camilla sweating. Well i guess i can play with you some other time flying away on her dragon.
Chapter 7: Re-Colection
Aight shotty outta da way Corring says. YEAH i know right Ike is next lowering his golden falcon down and we all have a relax siting near the bonfrie. Not wanting it out leaning to Genis I said. Hey genis colud you relight the bonfire. “Yeah sure Genis prepraes the cup n balls and casts fireball costing Mp but the bonfires back. Fucking sick bro- Loid started til Rain slaps him cross the face (DAMN wish that was me thinking about what its like to get slaped by raine. Youll get youre chance one of tehese days Genis says. Okay sure but now that were settling in let me tell you a story about the writing porcess of this story I say to the others. WAIT is that a forth wall break and Rain slaps Ike to. SHHHHH dont talk about that Rain screams. Damn sorry Ike repled.
Lighting the bonfire, I begin to recount my past to the group. As a baby, I never knew my parents. I was raised in a miserable orphanage with few friends. My sole solace was the trips to the local library sponsored by the Pizza Hut BOOK IT! program. There I would read about video games in the Nintendo Power magazines they had on display, fantasizing about living in a stable home with a loving family and money to spend. I spent my days there longing for the life I knew was never to be mine. These 20 minute computer sessions where I write this are my only joy in this wretched hellscape of a life.
The orphanage does not even have video game consoles. I can’t even play Fire Emblem or Tales of Symphonia when I’m at that horrible place. All I can do is sit and watch as the other children get adopted because they’re cuter and nicer than I am. And so another 5 or 10 years will pass where I just sit in this rotting building and watch as my few remaining friends go away to have happy lives. All my other friends are gone. How much longer until Valencia leaves too? She is the only person who even knows anything about video games. But even she tries to boss me around. I have to use this story as an escape from the cruel reality of it all. The library is one of the only things I look forward to. Why is it so unfair? It reminds me of that one Garth Brooks song, Friends in Low Places. At least they always play quality country music over the loudspeakers. I hope I can have a family soon. I hope things will change.
“any way thats the story I said. Yo thas iiiiiiiiice cold shatted coring. Shits just like when i gre in the hood. When i was just a lil G in Noire big sis camilla would always make me bath with her and touch me a lot while she washed me all ove. Then xandar would make me train swords with him and spanking me when I lost. DAMN that’s fucked up yelled Ike! We gotta smack that ho! Suddenly ccoming from the missed is a girl with white hair. But actually kinda blond.
“Hi yalllllllll is this like a bonfire or something she says coming up its like boy robin but noot a boy but a girl instead holding Country time leminade in her hands the drink slooshing about. Spliiisssshhhhhhhh and the bonfires out the leminade spilled. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL Roy springing up his Fire falcon at the ready but hoping up flinging a hand in fornt of him. Know youre place i say to Roy bowing to Girl robin i take her hand softly. Sorry dear you know how the boys get. Genis nuging me with hie eblow and winked. Blushing were both red in the face as Ike says WELL damn looks like garth finds himself a side peace. Oh hush you. Wait your garth girl robin says like the country singer. Damn i could like this girl.
Chapter 8: FRiction
But maybe everyone dont think the same?rain looking a litle pissed says why were trusting this girl. Maybe a little jealous i think? FRobin (short for girl robin) gracefully sonters up and suggests rain shut the hell up. Woah not how i like to talk to girls but whatever works. suddenly zapping is a genis thunder arrow. Dont talk to my sister like that! Woah man take it easy i tell him but it seems like his crew is agreeing ecxept krane because he thinks shes just always like this. Fuck guess we gotta gp trhough this again lucky i still have my longlance but i hate to fight my best friend genis. Looking round at least i have Frobin and coring on my side pulling out her thunder falcon and corrins blasing falcon.
Most interesting the Epa drone watching from the nearby is saying (from a speaker the drone does not actaully talking. Lets see how garth reacts when hes sharing his love to two diferent girls i call it socailism. The mystery voice sounding kinda new york fading away the scene cuts back to me. Mean while forgetting about Epa we are fighting as its me and FRobin versesing all the others inculding the fire emblemmers. YOU done fucked up this time Ike says slashing the golden falcon at me. No its another misunderstanding but FRobin standed her ground walloping with thunder falcon as Rain trys to slap her. The hand falling down (damn i dont wish thats me this time ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT Roy growling preps Blazig falcor with a blast of flame the bonfires back up n running. Corring goes thats the mother f-in ticket my- a blast of aqua edge from the genis puts the bonfire out. Shit.
Unlike the bonfire things really lighting up now. Rain griping her staff with both hands readys a strong spell but not being about that i thonk her on the noggin with my longlance. Genised yo thats not cool bro sorry fam thats just how it goes. Shit fam lets stop this nonsensical fighting. Okay sounds good so we stop. Suddenly slow clapping coming from the driveway. Not bad over oming your strife but can you overcome the Saga of Trials before you or will you fall into Eternal Fire? Looking its an balding man with whitish hair. It,s Bernie Sanders! WHAT the fuck you want old man here to spread youre outdtaed olicies around more Ike yelled at him damn the mans got some good ponts. Perhaps youll not fare so well against my next ordeal of finding camille hidden somewhere in this yard! And he deappers in a puff of smoke.
WHERE IS THAT HARLET Roy shreiks as he runs to the Bernie sanders but the smoke begining to clear kind of like Misties pot smoke from the start of this story. Damn no dice. The evil politic is gone for good his cakles still imatating though the wind. Can you believe this shit first that c*nt Jill Stine and now Bernies on the run to. I agree Genis pipes in that hack Bernie came to Palmacosta university (our almater) once to speech on socialist adgenda but were all chase him off. Oh yeah i remember that says me. FRobin strokes my back with her hand man its like lightnings in her fingers to making my back tnigle with delight. Thanks babe. Did she blush a little. “Did she blush a little my man says Boy robin. Yeah maybe she did dont be so salty. I say. Little bitchlet.
Chapter 9: Reginald
Starting we looking around the yard to find camille. Hmmm not in the gras. Maybe in the storing shed? “MAYBE we should look in the shed Iked. Opening the rusty doors its kinda dark. Yo this shit maaad dark beetch says coriing when suddenly a voice voices. “We ar not here to curse the darkness’ turning around is a old man. Who is this! But to light the candle that can guide us thruto a safe future!. Damn this guys wacky but he seems familiar. Who’s this genis says invesogateively . You can call me Reginald. Reginald Reigen. Hmm kinda familiar but probably just deza vu. Genis getting a little suspicious asks what usps with him.
Hey do I knowing you I say and the starnger says Ask not what your courtney can do for you but what your do for your country. Oh i get it like country music like garth brooks. Reginald winking slyly. Im reginald he says. OH right well Im Ike and this is Roy corrin cockrobin girl robbin. And also Loid Genis Collet Kampos. Garth and Marth and rain and every one else I forgot he also says the name of. Thats cool im reginald. Thanks Reginald look were need your help “i explain cause camille is hiding in the backyard kinda scary. Nothing to fear but fear it self Reginald smiles now leys go get her.
Everyon splits off to look expect me and FRobin giving some muchly wanted alone time. Nuggling up to me she presses to my arm. So gary, you come here often. I mean yeah this is my backyard. Teehee she giggles cutely. We enjoy a relaxing moment relaxing in the warmth of the bonfire. Everyons making noise like savages lookin for camille but were quitely relaxing humminng Garth Brooks tunes to ourselves lost in our own little world. Frobin, you know Ive always wanted someone like you in my life your so wonderful. Yeah you too says frobin leaning in closer and we hug.
Well well well if it isnt little bro Coring. Suddenly under the p[rorch where Loid sand Coilete were doiung the old P in V is Camilla seems like shes attracted toi the sent of the sex they have earlier. Fuck you want B you pedo. Coring says as he whips out his sowrd and strikes Camilla on the back and marth seeing it all down whisked up his falcon saying keep your eyes open! Reginald winking at me says “well Garth can i tell you something. Whats that reginald. Your the chosen one Reginald says. Gasping i suddenly realize its my destiny to sotp the evil wench and defeat Epa once for all. Wait im the chosen one. Yes garth your the one who safes the world. What the heeeellll bro! Genis claps me on the ack you gettin woman and fates of heroism. Did someone say fates Camilla and coring says. Oh yeah theirs a fight to do here.
Starting the fight camille sways seductiveluy in the breeze like a plam tree. Marth gulping she asks come here big boy now hes reely gulping she leens over revelevling her cavernous cleaveage you iknow you want me baby. Marth losing all reasong says yeah i do going for it but as he gets to her the dragon swooping down gubbling him whole. Marth is et. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK screams roy sobbing. He wanted to enter into her lower moputh but got in a different miouth instead . Shit i say srpinting over and picking up marths falcoin so it can remem,ber him by when in my hands it merges with my longlance becoming my true weapon the Falcon Neo Bardiche Labrys Spear Halberd Ultimate Tomahock (FNBLSHUT) for short. Now powered by the loos of my tresured comrad Im ready to take down thius unsavery woman.
Chapter 10: Camillas Reckoning
Theres no time to lose and its right to the chase as Camille pulls out her Omega yato and strikes at us viscously with a kathulurp, coring shrieking like a primate comes in for the counter causing a counter to counter Camilla against the face. Smaack now her bosom is quibbling all ober and blushing a lot of the boys turn away. Loid also blushing and now Colete and Rain both smack him what a naughty (lucky) boy. Genis even cuckled for a little bit until Camilla says oh you think youve seen the full extent of my sensual powers. Maybe you want to show off some more? Genis says as Camilla disrobes removing more of her armor. Tatical move by Genis as his icicle storm slahses against her bare body DAMN that was checky of you Ike says whipping forward with golden falcon (again no the captain get that in your head and slang! Camilla grunted blooding a bit as her dragon not so happy roars and preps its evil teth.
Steeping in, Ike weeps out his regal falcon telling her to prepare your self. Z. She cakcling now. She busts about spalshing swet around and it puts out the bonfire again damnit. Ay. Ay yo coriin excalmes at her. She brandishes her ax around brandishing us, shaveing off some hares. I whip out my longlance and block her ax but it breaks my shaft. Damm honey watch the merchandise. But luckily at thee moment rain’s healing soell goes of repairing my trusty blade as i theust it into camiles fortuitus bosom. Karon descending from the sky planting his sikes firmly into her firm bosom firmly knocking her out. Damn its looking like a rager with all these nocked out women. I bet val would like it here like. Suddenly slow clapping coming from the driveway. Not bad over oming the first trial in the saga? Looking its an balding man with whitish hair. It,s Bernie Sanders! WHAT the fuck you want old man here to spread youre outdtaed olicies around more Ike yelled at him damn the mans got some good ponts. Perhaps youll not fare so well against the next ordeal And he deappers in a puff of smoke.
Suddenly all the poeple we defeatd before around us their bodys coming up are starting to fuse together and eveyone dont know what to do. WHAT THE ABOSULUTE FUCK Roy started as they are coming together one by one now including Lucine and Camille and Jill Stein also called the evil Godess Martle. Coming together the mists swishing as i look as the unholy triad is coming together once more. Its Misty I say. What do you mean Genis says that its Misty. Mistys soul severed but now coming hell again. Laughing from the mists the voice says just as the propecy predicts Chosen One Garth but sad for you the prophecy wont be coming true today. Epa rains surpreme for all fo tieme and as for you and all your freinds guess what you get. WHAT would that be Ike excalmes and the reforing Misty giggles. Death.
So let me explain whats going on Froin says. Originaly when Kars secered misties soul we splot into 3 pieces me camilla lucine and rain but since your love touched my soul i was exepmt from the fusion which transfereed the negative goverment ions to jill stine instead so she took my place thats why rain wasnt with you at first because shes a fake hologram rain created by the epa initiative where they used hologram projectors to fake footage of rainforests being destroyed see rain,like in rainforest so when that hapoened she appeared and joined you all so when she used her ealing rain it was actually acid raine like the acid misty always drops so eventually the real triple fusion was camille and lucine and jill stein got it good rain jill stine cammile and lucine makes sense? Yeah I say she’s so smart like genis my best friend but robin is even more than that sorry bro.
Chapter 11: Misty Rematch Part 1
From above come the mass armys of the Epa goverment drones blasting aaway nonstop with the global warming cannons as in the background Bernie Sanders laughs enjoying the carnidge and slow calpiing all the while as the massacer gets even worst. Screaming we try to run and their blasting away nonstop if we dont stop this now were all gonna die as Misty laughs her hippy acessorys jangling about. Looking up a bold frown on his face i turn to Roy frowning. Well looks like this is it roy says pressing his burning falcor to the gruound. What you mean Roy you cant be serious right now i saay. All the others looking to him and begining to cry. “Well you know Garth if your the chosen then maybe my destin ends here to. To save my freids one life for many. And before we can stop him Roy charge to the drones that fire away the laughter of Godess Martel and bernie coming to a sudden halt. ROY my brother NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ike chased but its to late the EPa drones launch the expsoives and with a boom all is taken by the flames a true fire emblem. Soon it is gone the charred body of Roy and the fallen drones around him. Roy is dead.
Ike raging grabs roys flacon duel welding with his own swinging around lobbing great balls of fire heating up the drones. Martel screaming yells some nonsense about global warming but ikes croes drown it out. All our tears poruing out put out the bonfire too. Ya done fucked up beeyotch corring yells swishing his falon at misty looping off chunks. I floowow up with my longlance thirsting hard and rapidly. Lloid summons a demin fang which merges with genis Ground Dasher all our attacks slam her at once but little damamge. Mart cackling wild yells “its no use!. Damn it i yell freaking a bit when female robin rests a hand on my shoulder. Her touch is so soothing and comforting like the mother i never had clearing my mind allowing me to focus. I summon up some strength joining with genis lloid and ike. We all spcharge up while rain and colete use booster magic to boost us. Coring and Koros sweep her legs putting her off balance while we unleash our weapons in a triangle attack each targeting one of her souls. Crashing down comes the hippies body spewing out pot smoke instead of blood. Damn drugs fuck you up. Looking back i thank robin for her support and she nods pulling me in for a hug.
Chapter 12: Martel rematch part 2
Much to the suprise however getting back up was Misty cuckling to her full extent say did you honestly think that would be the end of it. OH SHIT Roy says countering with his blazong blade. Now the damage comes bback and coming up next Ike says YO eat all this and the golden falcor. Next Coring and then the others to. Martel falling to the ground gasping. So Misty next door neighbour or should I say my c*nt of a neighbro coming up to her with Genis pounding our fists together. Still beleave in climate change. Well maybe i do cause if you kill me the world will overheat and- shlink. Her head rolling off no soul sever this time. Nice one dude. Yeah revenge for our boy Marth. The slow clapping ocming down from the drive way Bernie sanders looks at us. Well well well nice job overcoming the second trial but now heres only one more togo. Eternal Fire awaits heh heh heh. Fuck you on i say.
I turn around or so i try but suddenly a big blast of lighting lighting the bonfire. Now everyones paralised. Turning around i seee the source. Is boy robin!!! Hehehehehe little did you know i was evil all along teeheehee. Bitch! Coringed. YOU bitch screams Ike. Hhee? It seems your still able to move ike. THATS roight because I always use rubber bitch! But the lightings still got a slowing effect on himslowing his moves to only 1 space at a time. Hehhehee youll never reach me- CURCHIICK. A bloodcurlign sound as robin’s throte is cut. HMPH maybe i can’t move but my blade sure can! Ike says as he had thrown gold falcor at robin leeving an insitely gash on robin throat. Cough coughs cockrobin but i dont think its over yet. He unleashes a beam of litenight at ike. NOOOOOOOOOOOO roy yells fearing the loss of his beloved brother. But suddenly the beam is block! those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came. Dying now because Reginald and Bernie took the blow for Ike their chests pierced. No! I exclaimed rishing to their side. Luckily robin is no more so he can’t interrupt his touching moment. I-I always-... and they fade away. It,s now i realise it. Reginald was actually the legendairy Ronald Reigen Genis and I always idolised in our intellectual sessions at plamascota university our almater. Such a tragic loss for humanity.
And so the Epa is no more the next day the newspaper come out anouncing that the Epa and Jill stine and Bernie and all the other so called environment concerned people are now gone and global wraming is gone for good. Cheering all the survivers enjoy a cup of country time leminade around the bon fire which is finally lighted up for good. Me and loid and Genis and Colete and Karnies and Ike and roy and Frobin and Coring and we all sit rouind the bonfire enjoying ours selves lisening to Garth brooks like the good times.
Peace around the worl
Chapter 13: After Glow
As the party dies down, so does the bonfire dimming the area around us. The moment’s become pretty intimate now that Robin and I are the only ones left. She leans in and I lean back into her, caressing her soft hair. She wraps her tender arms around me, pulling tightly into her warm embrace. I lay in her warmth for a few minutes, savoring every moment. “Robin…” I say to her softly. “Promise me, promise me you won’t leave me.” “Of course Garth,” she replies. “I was so alone before you showed up. My one friend left, I’ve never been loved or had anyone to care about. The staff at the orphanage always abused me. You’re the only light in my life.” “Oh Garth… you poor thing,” she runs her gentle fingers through my hair as I sob softly into her chest, knowing that this moment is only a fantasy in my head.” Like that I remain in her embrace all night, feeling love for the first and only time in my life.
Mean while inside the house Lloid and Colete walk into the bedroom “ok collete time to get it on if your get what im sayin ill just wash up right quck and Lloyd excits to go to the rest room to freshin up and then Genis enters the room Woooaaaa sorry didnt mean to walk in on anything here blushing as he removes his overshirt sorry gettin a little hot from that bonf ire you know? Oh Genis let me tell you some thing. Collet closening twirls her finger round the chest of Genis. Your the one i actualy want. Wait you dont mean- then Genis sucks his lips against Colete and soon his harder then hell its self slipping his gurthed 12 inch genis in between the pusy lips of Collet. The loving going hard out as Lloyd exits the bath total naked and sees it happening. What the fuck loid says but his get errect to and he watches finally put in his plac little bitch kinda like some cuck and ball torture insted of cup and ball torture. Coming to an end, so does Genis his voluminous emmissions spraying out of colete and soaking the bonfire, putting it out. And so the story ends with a happy ending Carlos looking out the window sees Collete moaning. Is she always like this and he winks at the camara.
Hey guys, this is Garth, or Gary Stewart. I wrote this story about 5 years ago while I was still at the orphanage. There we would go on field trips to local library where I could read and write. The catch was that the computers were only useable for 20 minutes without a library card, hence the sloppy grammar. I understand that this story doesn’t paint a good picture of me, but as a writer, I acknowledge it as an important part of my development as both a person and a writer. I’ve been adopted by a caring family and am in a much better place now. So by looking back I can tell just how far I’ve come, and how lucky I am now. I’m not quite done writing though. Since being adopted, I’ve been able to actually play some of the video games referenced in this story, instead of just knowing them from magazines. From this, I’ve been struck by inspiration to write another story. Like this one, it’ll prominently feature Fire Emblem characters, hopefully from a better selection of games. Unfortunately, no characters from Tales of Symphonia will appear. I tried to play the game but it’s kind of fucking ass not gonna lie.