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“You’re not allowed to fuck my brother.”

Sammy chokes on his drink, spluttering, confused as to whether or not Lily’s actually being serious right now. She’d just said that shit point blank without warning, in the middle of a conversation about their show’s fucking numbers. It had been work talk, but now suddenly it isn’t.

Lily glares at him over her cocktail, hazel eyes narrowing in judgment and disgust, clearly even more so at Sammy’s befuddlement at why he would ever think that’s a possibility.

Well. Apparently she’s super serious.

“Jesus, Lily! I’ve never even met the guy!” Sammy coughs, taking another long chug of his drink. The bar they’re in is crowed and noisy, but he still glances around to make sure no one overheard them, his usual paranoia seeping in. 

“Well, you’re meeting him on Saturday,” Lily crosses her arms tightly, and oh god, what had Sammy done to bring this on? He barely knows anything about Jack, let alone…..that. “And I’m just telling you that he’s off-limits.”

“He’s your kid brother, why would I –” Sammy tries to defend his honor, but Lily cuts in.

“He’s only a year and half younger than you, and he’s very nice to look at,” Lily’s eyes narrow dangerously. “You’re not allowed to do any looking.”

“Again – I’ve never met him,” Sammy enunciates slowly, all too aware that they’re in a public setting. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think I’m the kind of person who can just seduce someone –”

He blushes, hating that this conversation is happening in the middle of a crowded bar. Well, at least it’s not the one they visit with their work friends. It’s the bigger place next to Lily’s apartment, so Sammy doesn’t recognize anyone here. Small mercies.

“Jack is very trusting…”

“Are you saying I’m not trustworthy?

“I’m saying that I know your type, Stevens,” Lily kicks Sammy’s leg under the table far harder than necessary. Sammy reaches down to rub it pointedly, shooting a pained look in Lily’s direction so she'd know how offended he is that this is even a subject of conversation. “And that Jack is not going to be another one of your one night stands.”

“Jesus,” Sammy mutters under his breath, wondering where Lily’s getting her information about Sammy’s sexual escapades, because she makes it seem like there have been hundreds of guys and not, like, four, all of whom were certainly the ones to leave first. “You’re too much sometimes, Lily. I won’t fuck your brother, though. I doubt there was much danger of that in the first place, but –”

“You’ll see,” Lily says in a cryptic bullshit superiority complex sort of way that Sammy hates. “I’m just taking precautions here. Jack had a rough time in college, and I want him to be happy here. And I want you guys to be friends, since unfortunately, both of you obnoxious assholes are important to me. Got it?”

“Whatever,” Sammy shakes his head, though he’s secretly a bit pleased by the compliment. Lily doesn’t usually tell him that he matters to her, preferring to let it be implied in shoulder punches like she's a straight guy in a buddy movie and Sammy's her distinctly less cool sidekick. “I’ll be friends with your little brother, Lily. No sex involved. Though I don’t know how you can ask me not to look at him since you want me to be his friend –”

“Oh, you know what I mean, you fastidious bastard. No appreciating.”

“Fine! No appreciating! Jesus!" 

Lily continues to glare, but at least she changes the subject to complaining about Liam from work hitting on her in the break room. Much safer territory where they can both agree that Liam’s a creep and that he should be shoved from the top story window. A very easy conversation topic. 

Sammy’s still a little annoyed at the insinuations as the night goes on, and he's certain Lily knows it since she doesn't bring it up again. Honestly though, the fact that she's so certain that Sammy's first thought on meeting her younger brother will be sexual is insulting. 

Jack can’t be that much his type, seeing as how Sammy barely has a type, too busy keeping his head down and praying no one notices any of less decidedly less-than-straight personality quirks. But even if he did have a type, he doesn’t think Lily’s anything more than kind of pretty from an objective point of view, and Jack probably looks at least a little bit like her.

Besides, from Lily’s stories, he’s pretty sure Jack’s like, a nerdy calculator-carrier who still believes in fairytales. Not that Sammy won’t be his friend, but that hardly screams sexy.

He’s not saying Lily’s a bad judge, but it is her brother, so she’s obviously a little biased in his favor. 

And, to be entirely honest with himself, even if Sammy did think Jack was cute, it’s not like he’s the kind of person who’s capable of doing anything about that. So where did Lily get off, honestly? Sammy barely manages to have sex with guys whose names he doesn't know, let alone his best friend's brother. 

So. Lily's off her rocker, and Sammy's going to be the picture of platonic professionalism when Lily drags him along to the airport to pick Jack up from his early morning flight. 

He remains very certain of his composure up until the exact moment when he and Lily are standing outside the security gate, and Lily calls “Hey, Jack!”

Sammy honestly thinks she’s hugging the wrong person until it clicks in his mind that oh, shit, that’s Jack.

He’s half a foot taller than Lily, has at least a couple inches on Sammy, broad-shouldered with wavy black hair, and square-framed glasses that should make him look nerdy but quite honestly make him look like Clark Kent, and not any Smallville bullshit. The Christopher Reeve version for sure, which speaks to Sammy’s formative years like nothing else.

“Hey, you must be Sammy.”

Jack turns to him, smiling, dimples and white teeth. Oh, God, the Christopher Reeve version abso-fucking-lutely.

“Yeah,” Sammy, by some miracle, manages not to choke on his own spit, and even shakes Jack’s hand without dying. Jack’s got a strong grip. There is no calculator in sight. “Um – nice to meet you. Lily’s told me a lot about you.”

Clearly not enough, obviously but –

"She's told me a lot about you, too," Jack says, cheerful and genuine, and his bright brown eyes that crinkle around the edges when he grins are just too much to look at, and Sammy has to choose to focus on his nose instead. Christ.

It takes Sammy two minutes of stumbling through small talk with Jack to realize that Lily’s glaring daggers at him, and Sammy loses the present moment as he has an intesne flash-forward to a future where Lily's dumped his body in the garden pond three blocks down from his apartment. 

He supposes he'll probably deserve it. She did warn him, after all.