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When Adam had no fucks left

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Adam was tired . He hadn't slept in years , and he could barely function because of it . Michael and Lucifer were always fighting and when they weren't fighting they were screaming at each other in enochian and there was so much noise when they fought.

Today Adam had enough . He walked up to Michael and Lucifer who , this time were arguing over who's fault it was that they were down here .

" You let the human overpower you with a memory of a dad damn car "

"You had the strength of an archangel yet you couldn't stop my vessel making you fall into a hole "

" It wasn't my fault I had an inadequate vessel instead of my true one luci- "

He was cut if by a scream , which wasn't unusual in hell but it was if it was right next to them and it was in anger not in pain. They looked down to see the human screaching , then the human started to shout ,

" ALL DAY EVERY DAY I HEAR THE BOTH OF USE FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER AND WHEN YOU'RE NOT DOING THAT YOU'RE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER FOR WHAT EVER REASON YOU COULD THINK OF . I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU'RE SAD OR MAD OF EVEN IF YOURE GOD DAMN INSANE.I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN YEARS BECAUSE OF YOU TWO SO IF YOU DON'T STOP SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER AND MAKE UP I WILL TEAR OUT YOURE EYEBALLS AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM . SO SHUT THE FUCK UP . "

They weren't expecting that of all thing , they were more expecting the human to beg to be let out , or to be able to see they're family .So when the human stalked of and sat down on the floor, they let him .

So they sat down , and talked ( quietly) and found out some new facts about each other , Lucifer was actually the one who died his wings bright pink ,not Gabriel . Michael had a cat up on earth called Cassandra and they both enjoyed the human show The Good Place as it had ' a very accurate likeness to heaven ' (Lucifer just liked it because of the demons).

And that is how Adam got to have a good sleep . (And got Lucifer and Michael to make up ).