Chapter 1: The Trial
Crowley has his trial before he can tell Aziraphale how he really feels.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
“So what you gonna do now that head office aren’t crawling up your backside all the time?” Aziraphale hadn’t really thought about this, he just assumed that he would just carry on pretty much as normal. “W-well my dear fellow I'm sure that we shall end up spending more time together!” It seemed a perfectly innocent comment to him, however Crowley went bright red. “Something wrong dear?” he always noticed that Crowley always blushed when he talked about them spending time together. “Hmm, no. Course not, why would there be, it’s ticktey boo.” He blushed harder if that was even possible,
“Well I don’t believe that, you’ve been acting strange ever since we stopped Armageddon.”
Crowley had never really shared his emotions as a demon. He did as an angel but that was so long ago now that he was used to hiding his feelings.
“S’pose I'm just worried for our trials, s’not like Agnes gave us any warnings when they would be.” This was partly true but the thing that was on his mind the most, was love. The love, that no demon should be able to feel, his love for Aziraphale. He had kept it hidden from Aziraphale for so long now but ever since he thought he had died in the fire in his shop, he can’t stop thinking about it.
“Oh, well there really is no point in worring I'm sure it will be okay, all we can do is hope!” This could not be further from the truth but of course they didn’t know that yet.
“Yeah I guess, well it’s been a lovely evening angel, I should be going now tho.”
“Yes of course, still up for the picnic tomorrow?”
Crowley had forgotten about that. He had planned on sleeping all day tomorrow, he couldn’t let his angel down though.
“Yeaaah course I hadn’t forgotten.” he called as he nonchalantly strutted out the door and into his Bentley. Queen’s ‘Who wants to live forever’ boomed from the car as it sped down the street away from the bookshop.
Just as Crowley was about to get into his luxurious silk bed, he felt a thud on the back of his head.
“Oops sorry, didn’t realize you were there!” sniggered Hastar as he looked down at the now passed out Crowley.
He woke a few hours later rubbing his head to miracle away the pain, not realising where he was yet. He blinked a few times to unblur his vision then straight after wished he hadn’t. He was in his holding cell in Hell and knew that this must be his trial. His end. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and imagine Aziraphale was here with him. But then he quickly thought that this was no place for his beloved angel.
“Crowley, the traitor, get up!” commanded Beezlebub,
“I’ll say it again, that’s really not a nice word,” he humored “and while I know that you have worse names for me still it would be nice just to be called Crowley.”
“Aren’t you pushing you luck a bit? If you’re not careful that laszzzt name you hear will be Crawly.”
He hissed at that name, he hated it.
“Don’t like that do you? It’zzz funny as that is the name that Lord Satan gave you and you rejected it, which in any case makes you more of a traitor.” continued Beelzebub.
By this time they had walked to the court room and Crowley was being shoved toward the judges (which consisted of Hastar, Beelzebub and Dagon, not what you would call the most qualified or suited to the position).
“So we aren’t botherin with a trial as we all know that you are a guilty so izzzzz there anyfing you want to say before we obliterate you?”
“Um no, just what will it be, what is my doom as some people may say?” Even in this horrible time Crowley still finds a way to be sarcastic.
“We thought holy water would do just nicely.” replied Hastar with an evil grin on his face, you could also tell he was holding back that god awful laugh of his.
“Right k so where is it then?”
“Bit eagar aren’t you it’s almost like you want to die?”
“No I would rather get this over and done with than stick about much longer.”
“Haha. Well we can’t deny a dying demons wishes.” yelled Dagon who hadn’t really spoken that much.
“Actually there is one thing I would like to do really quickly before I go if I could?” Crowley felt like the smallest being in the galaxay, but he had to tell Aziraphale how he felt even if he couldn’t stick around for the reaction.
“And what might that be?”
“Well Lord Beelzebub, I um simply want to uh write a letter to someone o-on earth.”
“Pahahahahaha, he’s talking about his angel boyfriend!” cried Hastar who was in histerics.
“How long will thizzzz take?”
“Only about two minuets,” he asked “please it will take you that long to fill the tub anyways?”
“Fine but no more than that, you’re lucky I'm in a good mood.”
‘Yeah cuz you’re about to kill me’ thought Crowley as he began writing his letter to Aziraphale.
People say that you can only say what you truly feel while under pressure or going through crisis, and there isn’t a more fitting truth.
Crowley’s letter was sweet and caring and read as follows-
‘Dear my angel,
I wish I could be here to tell you this to your face however upon reciving this I will be dead. Hell captured me just after I left your place and in just about a minute I will be jumping into to a bath of holy water. I couldn’t die however without you knowing that I love you. I have loved you ever since you sheltered me with your wing on the eastern gate of Eden. You are different and I love you so much. I know you may not believe that a Demon can love but I just need you to know that I do love you and you of all people should know, I don’t lie. Be careful angel and remember me. I love you’
“Right okay that’zzz it send the letter!”
Crowley did as he was told. He was too upset to fight he knew he was going to die and he knew it would be now, and with a click of his fingers the letter arrived on Aziraphale’s bedside table where he would wake to find it.
“GET IN THE BATH NOW!” screamed Hastar who was so eagar he may as well haved pushed Crowley in.
And just like that Crowley was in the bath screaming in agonising pain until he was crying. But then it all stopped. The pain, the laughing, everything just stopped. Thinking he was dead he opened his eyes only to close them again at what he saw. He knew exactly where he was, but how had he got there? It wasn’t like he had prayed to her or anything. His head filled with questions but before he could process them properly someone walked in the room, someone who he hadn’t seen in a very long time.
Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic so please leave kudos and comments cuz let’s be real i’m a baby I need the love 😂😂
Chapter 2: He is forgiven?
Aziraphale gets Crowley's note and Crowley is getting used to being an angel again. Aziraphale is a bit stupid but obviously Crowley is there to save him.
Thanks for reading Chapter two! I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments and Kudos. Also suggestions of what you guys want to see. Again sorry for spelling and grammar ;)
“What. The. Fuck?!”
“Who are you?” asked the angel who had obviously walked in at a bad time. Most people in heaven know this angel as God’s personal assistant, Laila.
“Oh my, Laila. You look so different from when I last saw you, mind you that was over 6,000 years ago” chuckled Crowley.
“Raph, I-is that you?” she managed to say just as she dropped the water jug that she had been holding. Lucky for her Crowley knew that something like that would happen, Laila had always been a bit clumsy.
“Thank you.” she breathed as she plucked the jug from out of the air, Crowley had made sure it hadn’t smashed. Who knows what trouble she would have been in.
“You are very welcome, I missed you, although I always made sure to check you were okay while I was gone.” at this point Laila had put down the glass and was wrapped safely in Crowley’s arms, in a very warm hug.
“But you fell, I never thought I would see you again. It’s been so lonely since you’ve been gone, nobody does chats like you Raphael.”
“Haha, nice to know I still got it!”
“Oh be quiet! How long have you been here, who else knows your back and reborn as it seems. I never thought I would see the day, oh I can’t wait to tell the others they-”
“No, you can’t tell the others, they must find out for themselves. Otherwise the almighty would have told them already!” interrupted Crowley, or Raphael as people would know him as now. This comment seemed to upset her but before he had chance to apologise, Laila spoke up.
“Okay Raph, no need to but in like that.” he felt bad and knew he should say sorry before he made it worse.
“Your right, I'm sorry Laila. I’m just a bit uneasy, it’s not every day one gets reborn as an angel.”
“Ahah I suppose you right. Well if you’re not staying in heaven where are you going? Don’t say you’re going to create more stars, I won’t get to see you.” He could already see the tears welling up in her eyes. He couldn’t leave her like that again but worse, he couldn’t do that to Aziraphale.
‘Oh no. Aziraphale, he thinks I'm dead. I could go down there and surprise him but what if he got my note and thought I was being ridiculous. He surely didn’t love me. He couldn’t, who would love a demon? Maybe I could just change my appearance and just make sure he is okay. But what if he recognises me?’ All of these thoughts swam in Crowley’s mind but one thing was for certain. He was going back to earth.
“Don’t worry I think I'm just going to go to earth for a while, I have some um.. things I need to sort out.” he managed to choke out turning into what looked like a tomato in the process.
“Oh of course, your angel boyfriend is there. You haven’t told him have you? He thinks you’re dead and he didn’t know who you were before you fell. Oh what a predicament.” She jested knowing only too well that Crowley wouldn’t answer. He couldn’t trust what he would say, “Well don’t keep him waiting, but do make sure you visit.”
“I will.” he managed to say although what he really wanted to do was lecture Laila about how Aziraphale wasn’t his boyfriend. “Oh and Laila,” he called just as she was walking off down the pearly white, pristine corridor, “if anyone contacts me use Raphael and NOT Crowley I will tell Aziraphale when I'm ready, okay?”
“Fine by me.” she chuckled as she walked out the room.
Back on earth, Aziraphale had woken up to what one can only describe as the world’s worst hangover. He had drunken many more bottles of Château Pétrus since Crowley left last night and now was obviously regretting it. He rolled over to get up when he found the note on his bedside table, addressed to him in what looked like Crowley’s handwriting then began to really panic. He snatched it from the side, opened it and began to read. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks as he looked up from the note and set on the mattress beside him. He should have listened to Crowley yesterday when he said he was worried about it and now look where he was and where Crowley now wasn’t.
“Crowley, my dear I love you too, I just hope you didn’t suffer for too long, rest in peace my love.” he sobbed, staring into space, only hoping that God could bring him back but who was he kidding, this is a demon he was thinking of, like the almighty would do that. She cast him out in the first place. Dreadful mistake Aziraphale thought, but could only say that it was part of the ‘Divine Plan’. How right he was. He had always known he had loved Crowley but never wanted to admit it to himself. “I’m an angel, I love everything.” he used to tell himself, knowing that he loved the demon in a very different way.
Another reason that he denied his love for Crowley was due to his ring. When two angels love each other, a rune would appear on their palms then summon a ring. The rings signify love and can only be worn by angels. They would make one whole shape when put together and both angels would wear them. The shape they made were a pair of wings however, the wings would were also in the shape of a heart. Aziraphale had loved an angel like this in his early days in heaven but after Lucifer’s rebellion the angel that wore the other ring fell. As punishment for the fallen, their lovers would not remember who they once loved and would not know what demon had been their lover. Aziraphale still wore his ring hoping that someday the angel he loved would find him. He also wished that they would never find him so he could be with Crowley. All this aside, Aziraphale loved him very much but now he was gone, he would never be able to tell him.
After about an hour of sobbing over Crowley’s death he got up to make tea. He couldn’t cry all day, that wouldn’t bring him back. He planned on going to heaven to try and get a meeting with the almighty, to convince her to bring him back but he knew that he would most likely end up having his trial and dying. Worth a try though. He got dressed and headed out. He had to travel by bus of course. Now Crowley was gone he had no means of travel except public transport. It wasn’t that bad, just a lot slower. He often complained about Crowley’s reckless driving but always knew the demon would never put anyone in danger. This thought just upset him more but he had to control himself. God would never speak to him like this. He got off the bus and after another 10 minutes of composing himself headed upstairs.
Just as Crowley was about to head down to earth he noticed a change. A change in the atmospheric feeling. Grief. Lots of it. He hated being selfish but he hoped this was just one of the angels who had lost a pet or something, he really hoped his angel hadn’t been stupid enough to come to heaven, considering the trouble he was in. He decided to follow the feeling and when he found the source he sighed. It was in fact Aziraphale who was in heaven. What in the name of god was he thinking, but then something else occurred to him. He was grieving. He was grieving Crowley’s death. He couldn’t stay hooked on that for long before he spotted Gabriel, Uriel and Michael who were eyeing up Aziraphale and walking towards him. A sudden feeling of protection rose upon him and he began glowing.
What was he going to do. Then it hit him. ‘Duh you’re an angel again you can make yourself invisible’ and just like that he snapped his fingers and disappeared. At this point the others were cornering Aziraphale and pushing him into a room. He very quietly followed them through. He just stood nearby waiting for his own siblings to hurt his love. His angel.
“So, with one act of treason, you averted the war.”
“Well I think for the greater good.” Crowley tried so hard not to laugh at the comment. What was he doing? Aziraphale was so smart and these comments are not helping. He knew Gabriel well and knew that with every second, he was getting more annoyed and more angry.
“Don’t talk to me about the greater good sunshine, I'm the Archangel fucking Gabriel!” ‘ohh burnnnn’ thought Crowley, this was the Gabriel he knew, always coming back with some snarky comment. Much like Crowley if you think about it.
The conversation went on like this for a while with Aziraphale trying to make the angels see that what he and Crowley did was better than the great plan, but they weren’t having it.
“Now into the flame.” whispered Gabriel in a very menacing tone. There was now a huge swirling tornado of Hell fire across from Aziraphale in which he was supposed to die in. Crowley’s protection was growing so strong that Uriel and Michael began to notice it.
“Somethings wrong, I feel -”
“Protection, I know. I feel it too, it’s so strong.” claimed Michael, finishing Uriel’s sentence.
Aziraphale looked around he was whispering to himself but more importantly looking for someone or something that wanted to protect him. He almost felt safe knowing this but couldn’t help still feeling fear. How was he to know that Crowley, the man he loved, was standing less than 3 meters away from him.
“Well we better get on with it then. So shut your stupid mouth and die already.” smiled Gabriel and that was it. That made Crowley furious. He snapped his fingers reappearing and opened his wings. They were a beautiful sapphire colour and expanded far greater than any other angel’s wings. They were of course very similar to the other Archangel’s wings but were just a tad bit bigger. After all he was God’s very first creation.
“NO!” he yelled flying up slightly and pushing Aziraphale away from the fire. He then landed in the space in the middle between Aziraphale and the others. He put his wings away and didn’t dare look Aziraphale in the face. He had changed enough that he wouldn’t be recognised by him. His eyes were no longer snake like but where again a sapphire blue with a white centre. They were made like that to represent space. His flaming red hair had grown long again and some of his features had plumped out a bit. He wasn’t as skinny as a snake anymore but looked more like an average, healthy young man.
Aziraphale looked past this new strange angel to look at the others. They were all crying. If he hadn’t of been an angel, he wouldn't have been sure whether they were happy tears but due to the huge waves of joy coming from them it wasn’t hard to guess. Who was this and why did he feel protection over him? He turned to look at the new angel as was shocked to find he looked quite like Crowley. His hopes began rising thinking that God had listened to him. Then he thought again. No, he isn’t Crowley. He died in holy water last night. But he couldn’t help but see the resemblance.
Very quickly Gabriel’s face began sliding into a frown. ”WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN! IT’S BEEN OVER 6000 YEARS!” he boomed, soon after he looked over to Michael and Uriel who were still crying with joy.
“Hey Gabe, nice to see you too.” Crowley said, albeit a little sarcastically, “Though I am not sure I like you attitude anymore.”
“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT AFTER BEING GONE 6000 YEARS!” he screamed again.
“Well you are still my brother, aren’t you.” it wasn’t a question as much as a statement. Crowley knew that he would be angry, but not this angry.
“Of course, but I have been waiting so long for you and you decide to show up just as I am about to execute a traitorous Principality. Can’t say this is the best moment.” Whined Gabriel, he never did shut up.
“Why now Raph? Why not millennia ago?” It seemed Michael had decided to speak up.
‘Raphael. Oh my gosh. It’s THE Archangel Raphael. Angel of healing and part creator of the universe along-side God herself. But why would he save me, I'm just a Principality?’ Aziraphale felt as if he was going to explode all he wanted to do was thank Raphael with everything he had and be on his way.
“Well it’s a bit private so can we discuss it when the Principality is not around. Oh and if you dare hurt him or execute him I will leave again and this time I will never come back.” threatened Crowley, he only hoped the angel did not know it was him yet. He wasn’t ready for that too.
“Why he’s just a useless, traitorous, pathetic excuse for an angel?” Uriel stated, immediately wishing she hadn’t as she could see the anger building in Crowley again.
“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF HIM LIKE THAT! THIS IS FAR MORE PERSONAL THAN I WOULD LIKE SO CAN WE PLEASE DISCUSS IT IN PRIVATE!” they could feel the walls shake from the power that the anger brought. It was so strong. The others, now scared that they would tip him over the edge, dismissed Aziraphale and sent him to earth. Claiming if they needed him, they would call. Meanwhile he should continue his earthly tasks. Aziraphale thought this was so strange, why would one of the most powerful beings in all of creation be so protective of him. Perhaps he knew Raphael before the Rebellion but he couldn’t remember.
During the reunion/trial or whatever it was, no one thought it strange that Crowley, or to them Raphael, had covered one of his hands. Maybe nobody noticed but as Aziraphale left he uncovered it only to reveal what looked like a ring with half of a heart shaped wing on it.
Chapter 3: Make sure to visit!
Crowley goes back to earth but promises to visit heaven regularly but he is spotted by Aziraphale sooner than he would have liked.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
With all the archangels now in a room just off to the right of the escalator, all others around were now free to get back to work. The trial had disrupted many routines and not to mention the return of the Archangel Raphael had caused some crazy rumours and discussions.
“What is going Raph? Why would you protect an angel like that? Well not just any angel, that angel?” questioned Uriel, she had always been like that, straight to the point.
“Because of this sister.” Crowley then pulled his hands from his pockets revealing the ring that the others could quickly tell was the other ring to Aziraphale’s. They had always wondered who would love that stupid Principality and had always pitied them. But now, his love was their own brother.
“How could you love him? Not to insult your taste brother but he is awful at his job!” choked Gabriel, also backing up knowing that Crowley would get mad. Instead he just stood there with a frown on his face,
“Well brother mine, have you ever actually spent time with him? No, didn’t think so.” he snarled, “He was my student in heaven and then when I fell-”
“YOU FELL?” wailed Gabriel. He looked more startled then angry. He had always looked up to his brother and would never accept the possibility that he fell. It was always either, “He went off to make more stars!” or “I’m sure he’s just taking a nice long break.” He always came up with something but to hear that he had in fact fallen was like a stab to the heart.
“Yes, I fell. But I'm an angel again now, not too sure how though.”
At this Michaels jaw dropped. Crowley had never seen her so happy and so shocked in her life.
“So, you’re telling me, that you were a demon and have been forgiven? That’s preposterous! I never thought that would ever happen. Well at least your back now, it’s been so weird without you!” you could tell that she was trying to change the subject, her frantic tone gave that away.
“Stop fussing Michael, I just want to know why you fell? I always looked up to you Raph, but to find out you actually fell is just unjustifiable.” hissed Gabriel with just a hint of sadness in his tone.
Raphael and Gabriel had been very close as fledglings and growing up they had always said that even through war, they would never leave each other's side. They would fly around heaven together coming up with games to pass the time, and keep themselves amused. ‘Those were the days’ Crowley would always think to himself. ‘The days when right and wrong were less harsh’ He truly hadn’t meant to fall and everyday he blamed himself for leaving Gabriel all alone. No more playtimes. No more weird talks. Just endless pain and suffering. This was not where he belonged.
He hadn’t known how long he had been thinking about it, when suddenly he felt Uriel swipe the tear from his cheek. He was brought back to now, in heaven, with his siblings. It was a good thing really as he was not enjoying remembering his, well I suppose you could call it his fall, even though it was the bit after that he was remembering, and it was that bit that was the most painful.
He looked very pale and another tear streaked down his cheek. His beautiful, yet piercing golden eyes were filling quicker than a flash of lightning before he let out a choked sob. Upon hearing this, Gabriel’s anger subsided as he leapt to his brother’s side to comfort him as best he could. He had never been very sympathetic; however, he loved his brother deeply and it broke his heart to hear him so upset.
“I’m so sorry Gabe,” he wept, “I left you all alone! All because I w-was too curious for my own good!”
“Hush now. It’s okay, it’s over.” reassured Michael as she joined the cuddle, shortly after so did Uriel.
This bunch lasted for a good 10 minutes before Michael had pulled Uriel and a reluctant Gabriel for a ‘quick chat’. Though, Crowley knew was undoubtedly about him.
Just as they walked around the corner, he saw Gabriel mouth something at him. At first, he couldn’t make it out, but then it hit him like a ton of bricks.
“I forgive you!” he had said.
That meant everything to Crowley. His brother was back and had forgiven him, a previous demon!
It wasn’t long before the others had returned, smiling at him. It was a little scary he wasn’t going to lie.
“Well brother,” began Gabriel, “we know you want to go back to earth and we respect that, however, we would like you to visit at least once a week. Earth time of course.”
Time was different in heaven and hell. It went slower, meaning Crowley would visit quite often but still spent a reasonable amount of time on earth. The other Archangel’s had thought it a great idea and Crowley wasn’t that unkeen on it either.
“Okay, that’s fine. I do have a request tho, you let me be with the angel and don’t be rude if he comes to visit too.”
They scowled, but after a few minutes agreed and simply said,
“We can’t deny you your soulmate.”
He stayed another half an hour catching up and laughing with them before he left for Earth. He had to leave to find Aziraphale and also the others had yet to tell Sandalphon about Raphael.
It took him a while to fly to his apartment as he ended up in Prague when he left heaven. He couldn’t leave the official way, too many people would notice him. So, he had to leave through the globe on the main corridor. It had been empty at the time so he made his escape. He had to do a quick miracle though, as to not discorporate.
Landing on the room of his building, he had sensed a strong feeling of love. ‘Oh love, that’s a new one to get used to again.’ he giggled, but soon stopped when a certain angel spotted him.
He had not figured out what to say before Aziraphale had miracled his way to stand in front of Crowley, wide eyed and obviously crying.
“Whatever is the matter principality?” he asked sounding formal, so that he stood more of a chance of being unrecognised.
Aziraphale wiped his eyes and blinked before answering, “I’m sorry to look such a mess! My friend, well, the one I loved used to live here and well I'm taking care of his plants! Um he died so I am doing it for him even though it breaks my heart to walk in and not see him there.” he trailed of and went on about random things. Had he just said that he did actually love Crowley? Had he not just been grieving him in a friend way?
Now was his chance to surprise him, to hug him or if things went well even kiss him. Both Crowley and Aziraphale had both at some point wondered what it would be like to kiss one another, however, naturally neither of them knew this about each other. Crowley remembered kissing the angel before his fall but it killed him that Aziraphale didn’t.
“I’m sorry to hear that Aziraphale, I can however ensure your safety from heaven’s wrath.” he just managed to say whilst very aware his voice might’ve broken during it.
“Thank you, you know, I think Crowley would have liked you. You resemble him very much.” the angel said with a sigh whilst also welling up before Crowley pulled him into a hug which in any case seemed to calm Aziraphale.
After he calmed down, he invited Crowley back to his bookshop to thank him for saving his life and for comforting him when he needed it. There was something about him that he recognised not the fact he looked like Crowley, there was something else. They used miracles to get to the bookshop and settled on drinking that night.
Five bottles of wine in, Aziraphale was plastered. Crowley however made sure that he stayed in enough control to keep his secret safe. What sort of a person was he if he let his angel find out like that? ‘His angel’, he liked that.
“You a-are very funnn... f-fo for n Archangel.” he exclaimed and slouched on the chair he was sat it.
“I don’t know whether to be offended or take it as a compliment.” Crowley chuckled back; he knew the angel well enough, knowing for sure it was a compliment but his angel couldn’t know that yet, Crowley wasn’t ready and by the looks of it, neither was Aziraphale.
“S’rry it’s defin-defin... DE-FIN-AT-LY a compliment.”
“I think you have had enough to drink angel, go to sleep, I will leave my details here so you can contact me okay?” right after he said it, he regretted it. Angel. He had said angel. Something only he used. He may have accidently outed himself. Although, before he could panic too much, he turned around. Aziraphale was passed out, still in the same chair he had been in all night. This was just the regular now. Aziraphale sat there and Crowley sat just across in another chair. He had sat there tonight, but kept himself from sprawling out like he normally did, as that also could have been a sign that Raphael was actually Crowley.
He wrote a note with his new telephone number on and his new apartment that he had just miraculously brought. It was still in Soho, and was minutes away from Aziraphale. He even remembered the angel complaining about them being too loud when building it. He placed it on the table near Aziraphale’s head, pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead and left.
Hey guys sorry for the delay for getting this chapter out! Thank you all for reading, leaving comments and kudos they are much appreciated. I'm also sorry this chapter may not be a good as the others but chapter 4 will be very intense so strap in! Also i might make this a series as i have an idea for it, what do you guys think? Thanks guys!