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hold on, hold on to me

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There was no good gelato in Los Angeles. Trixie had never realized this was a problem until she got back from Rome. The lack of gelato wasn’t the only problem that followed her back from her trip to Europe with her mother. There was something going on with her mother. But maybe, she thought, whatever problem she had, it was like the lack of gelato. It had been there before and she just wasn’t aware of it. Regardless, she knew something was wrong and she wasn’t about to just let it happen. Trixie Decker was the daughter of not one, but two LAPD detectives. She was smart. She knew something was wrong and she was going to figure out what and fix it.

 

Detective Trixie Decker was on the case.



—-

 

The first step in her investigation was pinpointing the source of her mother’s unease. Trixie knew both of her parents very well so picking up on the fact that something was wrong was very easy. But what was it? She did know a few things. She knew that her mother and Lucifer were in a shoot out. She knew that her mom’s ex-boyfriend was dead, too.

 

Her first thought was that it was her mother’s injury’s fault. Trixie was in the hospital one to get her appendix taken out and it made her very cranky. She didn’t like the hospital at all. Maybe her mom was just irritated at being cooped up.

 

That idea fell through, however, very quickly. Trixie had seen her mom after a hospital stay before. This was different. There was something else under her skin.

 

Her next idea involved Pierce. She knew Chloe liked him, a lot, for quite a while. It could be that she was re-adjusting, grieving for someone she’d lost. It just didn’t feel the same, however. She’d seen her father after Charlotte Richards. Her mother wasn’t acting at all like her dad had so it couldn’t be that.

 

There was another lead, though. A lead by the name of Lucifer Morningstar who her mom hadn’t seen since they returned from Europe.

 

—-

 

Getting to Lucifer’s house was easy enough. She knew he lived in the penthouse above Lux and she’d been to the club before. What was also fairly easy was sneaking out. Trixie was in her room where she was supposed to be doing homework and her mom was working in the living room. All she had to do was climb through the window and call a ride.

 

The ride was a little more difficult, but she could manage that, too. She was resourceful, after all. She prepared a day or so in advance, requesting her mother’s credit card so she could order a new set of art supplies. Chloe approved the purchase after Trixie showed her what she wanted to buy on Amazon. When Trixie was given the card, instead of painstakingly typing the numbers into her Amazon account, she tapped them into her newly-downloaded Uber app.

 

Simple. Before she changed, Trixie called her ride. She’d already selected what she called her detective outfit - the black pants and tan sweater her mom made her wear to Christmas dinner the year before, complete with a little badge from a police costume she wore for Halloween one year and her purple school bag - so she was able to get dressed quickly. She scribbled a note to her mother telling her where she’d gone so she wouldn’t worry and then climbed out the window.

 

The ride was short and then Trixie was climbing out at Lux. “What’re you doing here, kid?” her driver asked.

 

“I’m a detective,” Trixie said, “and I’m here on a case,” and then she climbed out of the car.

 

There was a crowd around the door but it didn’t faze her. Shoulders back with a smile on her face, Trixie marched up to the bouncer and tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. “Mister,” she said, “my name is Trixie Decker and Lucifer Morningstar is my friend and I need to talk to him so you have to let me in.”

 

The large, muscled man whose arms were probably as big around as Trixie’s head studied her for a few moments. Eventually, he shrugged. “Why not,” he said.

 

“Thank you,” Trixie said politely because her parents raised her with manners. She ducked under the velvet rope, readjusted her backpack, and set off into the club.

 

There was a crush of people on the dance floor in bright colors. There were a lot of people here, she noted, but she only had eyes for one. She did, however, hear him before she saw him. He was singing along to the piano.

 

What have I become,” he sang. “ My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end.”

 

Trixie hadn’t heard the song before but it sounded very sad. That must mean Lucifer was sad, too. She started picking her way towards the large piano, staying close to the edges of the room while Lucifer kept singing.

 

“You could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”

 

“Excuse me,” Trixie said when her path was blocked by two tall women in slinky, glittery dresses with large wings in bright colors. One of the women turned around, her lips and her eyelids just as bright as her hair.

 

“What’s a sweet little thing like you doing in a place like this?” she asked.

 

“I’m looking for Lucifer Morningstar,” Trixie said. “I’m a detective and I need to talk to him about police stuff.” Trixie took her badge off of her belt, holding it up to the woman. She laughed, shaking her head slightly.

 

“He’s up at the piano,” she said. “Baby, someone might step on you. Here, I’ll get you up there.” She leaned over to the other woman, saying something Trixie couldn’t make out and then kissing her on the cheek before holding out her hand. “I’m Alyssa,” she said.

 

“Detective Trixie Decker,” the girl said, taking the woman’s hand.

 

Navigating the club was a lot easier with the woman guiding her. She wasn’t as worried about being pushed or trampled. Alyssa reminded her a lot of Maze, in a way, because people parted ways for her.

 

“He’s right up there, baby,” Alyssa said when the piano was in sight. “I hope you solve your mystery.”

 

“I will,” Trixie said. “Thank you for helping me. You’re really pretty. I like your hair.”

 

Alyssa smiled, ruffling Trixie’s hair. “You’re sweet, baby,” she said. “Good luck.”

 

She disappeared into the crowd of dancers again. Trixie took a deep breath and marched forward again.

 

“Lucifer!” she said. He must not have heard her over the piano because he didn’t answer her call. “Lucifer!” she repeated. Still nothing. She went straight for him, pulling on his sleeve.

 

“Lucifer,” she repeated insistently. “I need to talk to you about police stuff.”

 

“The LAPD doesn’t want me anymore,” he said irritably without turning to face her. He kept playing the piano, that sad song. “I’m not the police.”

 

“But I am,” Trixie said.

 

“I’ve just said-“ Lucifer stopped mid-sentence when he saw her standing beside him with a hand on her hip and a scowl on her face. “Beatrice,” he said. “You’re here. In Los Angeles. In my club.”

 

“Yes, I am,” Trixie said. She unclipped her badge again, showing it to Lucifer. “I need to talk to you about police stuff.”

 

“Do your parents know you’re here, child?” he asked. He looked off, Trixie thought. He was paler than usual and he looked very sad.

 

“No,” she said. “I’m trying to solve a case.”

 

Lucifer sighed and stood up from the piano. “Come on, spawn,” he said. “We’ll wait for your parents in the penthouse.”

 

Lucifer started towards the elevator, making Trixie speed up to get close to him. “There’s an elevator up to your house?” she said, her eyes wide.

 

“Yes, yes,” he said. “And it’s a penthouse not a house.”

 

“What’s a penthouse?” Trixie asked curiously.

 

“An apartment on the top floor,” Lucifer said dismissively.

 

“Wow,” Trixie said. “That’s so cool! Can I push the elevator button?”

 

If Lucifer said anything, Trixie didn’t hear it because she was already heading for the button. She hit it, smiling proudly when it lit up and the doors slid open.

 

“I don’t understand children,” Lucifer said, shaking his head as he stepped through the doors with Trixie. “What brings you such pleasure from hitting a button?”

 

Trixie shrugged, glancing over at Lucifer. He looked sad, she thought. Sad like the song he’d been singing. He was looking straight ahead at the closed doors but it seemed like he was seeing right through it. When he felt her watching him, his head turned. Immediately, he raised his chin, pushed his shoulders back, and flashed the girl a wry smile.

 

“You look sad,” she commented, tilting her head slightly.

 

“I’m not sad,” Lucifer said indignantly. “I’m perfectly happy. I love my life.” He tugged on the lapels of his jacket, straightening them and looking towards the doors. “I’m the Devil. How could I not?”

 

“You’re sad when you think no one can see you,” Trixie commented.

 

“Am not,” Lucifer said.

 

“Are too,” Trixie said back. “And you were singing that really sad song.”

 

Lucifer scowled but didn’t respond because the elevator doors slid open.

 

“Whoa,” Trixie said softly as she stepped out of the elevator. “This is where you live?”

 

“I do,” he said. “Try not to touch anything while we wait for your parents, child.”

 

“I am touching something,” Trixie said. “I’m touching the floor.”

 

Lucifer heaved a sigh, going up the step to his bedroom. He stripped off his jacket, laying it across the bed, and started to undo his tie. Trixie trailed after him, curiously taking in everything she saw. Lucifer’s house was insane, but that wasn’t what she was here for.

 

“Why are you sad?” she asked. She was here to unravel the mystery of her mother’s unhappiness, not Lucifer’s, but the thought occurred to her that maybe they were somehow connected. If she could figure out what was upsetting Lucifer, maybe it would lead her to what was upsetting her mother. Or, which would make her work a lot easier, it was the same thing.

 

“We’ve already established that I am not sad ,” Lucifer said, working on his tie. “I am perfectly fine.”

 

“Lucifer,” Trixie whined, dancing up the step to his bedroom and tugging on his sleeve. “I’m the police! You can’t lie to the police!”

 

“You very much can,” Lucifer said, rolling his eyes but letting her tug on him while he kept working on his tie. “But I don’t because I don’t lie. And also because you’re not the police. Your mother and father are the police, but you’re a child.”

 

“I have a badge,” Trixie said, crossing her arms. “That means I’m official. I need to talk to you about my mom.”

 

Lucifer sighed, throwing his tie down on top of his jacket, his posture dropping ever so slightly. “I’m not sure your mother and I are on the best of terms,” he said. “Or any terms. She hasn’t spoken to me for a long time. We’re nothing but…” He faltered for a beat before recovering. “Ex-somethings.”

 

There it was. Trixie smiled, one of the first clues of her mystery. Her mother was missing Lucifer! It would explain why her mother was upset lately and it would explain Lucifer’s odd behavior, too. They missed each other.

 

Thinking quickly and not thinking at all in equal parts, Trixie darted around Lucifer and jumped on his bed, splaying out.

 

Lucifer’s reaction was instantaneous. “No shoes on the bed, child!” he said. “Those sheets are Egyptian cotton.”

 

Trixie giggled, bouncing a bit on the mattress as she turned to face Lucifer. She took off her sneakers, holding them above the sheets. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” she said pointedly. “If you and Mommy miss each other, then why don’t you just talk to each other?”

 

“I can’t,” Lucifer said irritably. “Your mother doesn’t like me anymore.”

 

Trixie’s frowned deepened. That didn’t sound right. Her mom wouldn’t be acting as upset as she was if she didn’t like Lucifer. He was her partner. She tossed her sneakers off the side of the bed before flipping onto her stomach. “What happened?” she asked curiously.

 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Lucifer said, his back to her as he started hanging pieces of his suit up in his closet.

 

“I’m a detective,” Trixie said patiently. “I’ll understand.”

 

Lucifer sighed softly, his back still to her when he spoke again. “Your mother saw who I really am and she didn’t like that person. I haven’t seen her since.”

 

“You mean the Devil?” Trixie said.

 

“Well, yes,” Lucifer said, taking off his dress shoes while he spoke. “She saw my Devil f-“ Lucifer stopped abruptly, turning to face Trixie with a shoe in his hand. “Wait.”

 

“Maze showed me her face,” Trixie said. She got a little sad at the mention of her friend. “It was cool. I guessed that you had one, too.”

 

“Well, then,” Lucifer said. “That’s… Unexpected. You’re not…” He gestured with his shoe. “Afraid of me?”

 

Trixie shrugged. “Why would I be?” she asked. “You’re Lucifer. I know you.”

 

Lucifer smiled faintly. “Thank you, child,” he said. “I think.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Trixie said. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

“You sound like Linda,” Lucifer said with a faint smile, shaking his head. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.

 

“No one knows what it’s like,” he said. “No one understands what it’s like to be me. I’ve been… Vilified, hated, tormented since the dawn of humanity for things I’ve never done. Things I would never would do. Made to take the blame for every single bad thing that’s ever happened when my first crime was wanting to be loved. And I thought… I thought for once I had found someone who looked past that and saw Lucifer and not the snake in the Garden. But it seems I was wrong,” Lucifer said bitterly, but there was sadness in his tone, too, “because as soon as she saw me, she left.” He sighed softly, his shoulders slumping and his eyes downcast.

 

Trixie clambered off the bed, throwing her arms around Lucifer’s waist. He didn’t pull away this time, letting her hug him tightly. “It’s okay, Lucifer,” she said. “You’re still my friend.”

 

Lucifer laughed slightly but there was little humor in it. “Thank you, child,” he said. “I-”

 

His voice cut off abruptly when they heard the elevator doors click open and Chloe’s voice call out, “Trixie? Trixie!”

 

“Mommy,” Trixie said. She had expected her mother to follow her but she wasn’t upset. She had a lot of information to go on now to proceed with her investigation.

 

Lucifer immediately backed up from the girl. “Your child is in the bedroom, Detective,” he called cautiously, taking a few more steps back from Trixie.

 

Trixie frowned, turning slightly to catch sight of her mother coming around the corner. A face tense with worry melted into something like relief. “Trixie, I was worried sick about you!” she said. “You can’t just disappear like that!”

 

“I was on a case,” Trixie said steadfastly as her mother gathered her up into a hug.

 

“You can be a detective when your older, baby, but now you have to tell Mommy when you’re going places, alright?”

 

“Alright,” Trixie said. Chloe took her hand and started leading her towards the back door but Trixie dug her heels in.

 

“Wait, Mommy,” she said. “You need to talk to Lucifer.”

 

Chloe faltered, glancing over Trixie’s head before quickly looking down at her daughter. “No, we need to get you home,” she said. “Besides, he’s not even here.” She squeezed Trixie’s hand and lead her back towards the elevator.

 

Trixie stole a glance behind her but Lucifer was nowhere to be seen.

 

—-

 

Chloe didn’t talk much until she and Trixie were in the car, the smaller detective buckled into her seat in the back. “You know you can’t just sneak out like that,” Chloe said, her eyes on the road. “I’ll worry about you, your dad will worry about you. You have to ask before you go somewhere.”

 

“But if I asked, you would’ve said no,” Trixie said. “Wouldn’t you?”

 

“Probably,” Chloe said, “but then you’d have to deal with the fact that you couldn’t go. Running around LA at this time of night alone isn’t safe, Trix.”

 

“I know,” Trixie said, deflating a little. ”I won’t do it again.”

 

“You definitely won’t,” Chloe said, shifting her grip on the steering wheel. “Because you’re grounded. No TV, no internet, and no dessert for a few days.”

 

Trixie groaned slightly, resting her head against the window and falling silent. She was grounded, but it was worth it, wasn’t it? She had a wealth of new information. Being grounded didn’t mean she couldn’t press forward with her case.

 

“What happened between you and Lucifer?” she asked.

 

Chloe went silent which let Trixie know she’d struck a nerve. She was getting closer to getting this whole thing sorted out and making her mother and Lucifer a lot happier.

 

“Nothing, monkey,” Chloe said. “We had… A falling out. Like sometimes when you’re friends with someone at school and then you just aren’t friends anymore. It just happens.”

 

“I don’t know,” Trixie said. “Lucifer says you don’t like him anymore.”

 

“It’s complicated, baby,” Chloe said. “I… I thought I knew everything about him and then something happened right before we left on our trip and I realized I didn’t know as much about him as I thought. I just need to… Think away for a bit. It’s not that I don’t like him anymore.”

 

“You mean that he’s the Devil,” Trixie suggested.

 

“Yeah,” Chloe said, sounding a little tired. “It’s just… A lot.” She stopped suddenly, glancing up at the rearview mirror to look at Trixie. Trixie could see a few different emotions flick across her mother’s face before she looked back at the road.

 

“You should talk to him,” Trixie suggested. “Cause you miss him. And he misses you, too.”

 

“I don’t know if he wants to talk to me, monkey,” Chloe said. She did a complete about face, switching topics a few seconds later. “As soon as we get home, you’re getting in your pajamas and getting in bed.”

 

Trixie sighed again. Bedtime already. At least she had made some decent progress.

 

—-

 

It was a few days into her grounding when Trixie woke up in the middle of the night. For awhile she laid there, one arm loosely wrapped around a stuffed animal, trying to figure out what had woken her. After a few moments of contemplation, she realized it was her need to use the bathroom.

 

She threw her blankets back, carefully set her stuffed animal down, and swung her legs over the bed. She was fairly quiet, her sock feet landing on carpet, as she snuck out of her bedroom. She had barely stepped out when she saw a light on in the kitchen.

 

Frowning, Trixie snuck forward. What was illuminated was her mother standing over the kitchen sink. She was holding something small in her hand, studying it. Trixie shifted, taking a step to the side. The floor creaked under her and she tensed immediately.

 

Chloe spun around, her hand going towards her hip, but she relaxed when she saw her daughter. “Trixie,” she said. “You scared me.”

 

“...Sorry?” Trixie said, shrugging.

 

“What are you doing up, monkey?” Chloe asked, turning to lean against the sink, sliding the object behind her.

 

“I had to pee,” she said. “What are you doing up?”

 

“Just…” Chloe trailed off, furrowing her brow. “Thinking.”

 

“About Lucifer?” Trixie asked. Her mother still hadn’t talked to him, even after Trixie’s night of detective work.

 

“Sort of, baby.” Chloe sighed softly. “It’s complicated.”

 

“You mean how he’s an angel?” Trixie said curiously.

 

“He’s not an angel,” Chloe said. “He’s-” She stopped, frowning again. “He’s an angel,” she repeated. Her frown slowly faded into a faint smile. “He’s an angel but- and. He’s an angel and he’s still Lucifer.”

 

“Of course, Mommy,” Trixie said. Her mom must not be thinking very hard because she was saying things they already knew. Lucifer was an angel and he was Lucifer. The same person they’d always known. It didn’t change anything that he wasn’t completely human.

 

“Go on and go to the bathroom, monkey,” Chloe said, touching her daughter’s shoulder and then kissing her on the forehead. “You have to get up early tomorrow. You’re going to work with Mommy so I can keep an eye on you.”

 

“Okay,” Trixie said, shrugging slightly. She didn’t understand what the big deal was, but she did really have to go. She turned out of the kitchen and out of the corner of her eye saw her mother dump something down the sink.

 

—-

 

There was a commotion in the center of the precinct. Trixie looked up from her coloring book, frowning and craning her neck. She couldn’t make out what was going on, but she desperately wanted to find out.

 

“I’m hungry,” she said abruptly. Without really looking up from her computer, Chloe reached into her desk and handed her daughter a handful of change. “Run over to the vending machine, monkey,” she said. “We’ll go get lunch soon. Nothing with sugar in it.”

 

“Thanks, Mommy!” Trixie said. She snatched the handful of quarters off of the desk and darted towards the commotion. A few officers were escorting a man in cuffs away and watching with her arms crossed was Maze.

 

Trixie stopped, rooted to the spot. She hadn’t spoken to Maze since their fight which felt like so long ago. She’d circled Europe since then. Maze didn’t notice her for a few moments until she turned to leave.

 

Maze immediately dropped her arms, her face turning soft and kind and almost afraid. “Trixie,” she said. “Hey, I, um…” She trailed off, glancing at the ground and not quite meeting the little girl’s eyes. “I’m really sorry,” she said, crouching down so she could be closer to Trixie’s height. “I didn’t mean what I said and if you can’t forgive me, I-”

 

Trixie dropped her handful of quarters before launching herself across the precinct and throwing her arms around Maze. The demon’s arms were slack for a moment, confused, before she wrapped them around the girl.

 

“You’re not mad?” Maze asked, pulling back and looking into Trixie’s eyes. Her own were wide and concerned.

 

“Of course not, dummy,” Trixie said. “I missed you.”

 

Maze laughed, easy and relieved, and pulled Trixie into another hug. “I missed you, too,” she breathed.

 

“I’m really sorry,” Maze said when they parted again and Trixie could tell that she really, really was.

 

“It’s okay,” Trixie said simply. “I forgive you. You’re my best friend.”

 

Maze beamed, the brightest smile Trixie has ever seen her give.

 

She paused, glancing behind her with the thought of retrieving her quarters. However, seeing her mother, she got an idea.

 

“Maze,” she said, turning back around, “Can you help me with something?”

 

“Anything,” Maze promised.

 

—-

 

“Mommy!” Trixie called, peeking around the doorway to spot her mother, half a bag of chips in one hand. “Mommy, Maze needs you,” she said. “She got a bad guy you need to talk to so she can arrest him.”

 

Chloe looked up from her computer, frowning. “There’s someone in the interrogation room?” she asked.

 

Trixie hummed and nodded again. “She wants to arrest him but she can’t because he hasn’t confessed yet.”

 

“Maze can’t arrest anyone anyway,” Chloe said, huffing slightly as she swept last Trixie towards the interrogation room. Trixie smiled brightly, following behind her mother. Everything was going according to plan so far. Maze corralled Lucifer into the precinct, saying she was about to cash in on a bounty that would interest him, a mobster that had wronged him a few years ago.

 

“I was very busy, you know,” Trixie heard a familiar voice proclaiming from the open door of the interrogation room. “And you dragged me away for no reason!”

 

“You were drinking alone in your penthouse,” Maze said, deadpan. Trixie could see her, standing a few steps back from the doorway. She glanced over at Trixie, almost smiling. “Guess they must’ve processed him already.”

 

“Great,” Lucifer said, huffing angrily. “Now I have to go find him.” He emerged from the interrogation room, looking a lot like Trixie remembered from their last encounter. He was dressed nicely, a suit jacket, pants, and a button-up as always, but he looked sad, like he was missing something. Luckily, Trixie knew what that something was.

 

Beside her, Chloe stopped instantly, her feet rooted to the ground. Lucifer froze, too. He hadn’t seen her since before they left for Europe, Trixie knew, because he’d avoided her when Chloe came to get Trixie front his penthouse.

 

“Chloe,” he said, looking like a deer caught in a car’s headlights.

 

“Lucifer,” Chloe said, hesitantly meeting his eyes.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Maze said, sighing deeply.

 

“Not exactly,” Lucifer said, narrowing his eyes slightly at her. The encounter was an odd moment in which all four people present knew Lucifer’s not-so-secret secret so they all knew exactly what Lucifer meant.

 

“Lucifer,” Chloe repeated. “We should… Talk.”

 

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me, given how you ran away from me last time we spoke,” Lucifer said stiffly.

 

“I know you probably don’t want to,” Chloe said. “And I wouldn’t blame you, I just…” She hesitated. “I was afraid at first,” she admitted. “It’s not every day you find out…”

 

“That your devilishly handsome partner is actually the Devil,” Lucifer said. “I know.”

 

“So, maybe I did run away,” Chloe said. “I’m not proud of it. I just needed time to think.”

 

“And what conclusion did you come to?” Lucifer said.

 

“That I missed you,” she said. “Maybe you’re… You know, the Devil, but you’re an angel, too. Whatever history and… And religion say about you, it’s not you. I know you. You’re Lucifer. My Lucifer.”

 

There was a long pause that they could practically feel thick in the air. For awhile, no one spoke. It was Lucifer who finally broke the silence.

 

“I think that might be one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me,” he said, sounding incredulous like he wasn’t exactly sure what he was hearing.

 

Chloe laughed nervously, shaking her head slightly. “I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me,” she said. “But… I miss you. I want my partner back.”

 

Trixie could see the sadness melt away, see how Lucifer stood a little taller and smiled a little brighter at that.

 

“That’s… Good,” he admitted. For one of the very few times Trixie could remember, Lucifer was struggling to find words. He didn’t seem too upset about it, though. He seemed happier than she’d seen him in quite awhile.

 

Maze broke the silence, huffing and crossing her arms. “Do something already,” she said. “Watching this is painful.”

 

At her urging, Lucifer and Chloe started towards each other. They stopped, less than inches apart, when Lucifer reached, cupping Chloe’s cheek in his hand. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?” he asked softly.

 

Trixie could see her mother smile. She didn’t bother answering, leaning up and pressing her lips to Lucifer’s. “Ew,” Trixie said, giggling, but she wasn’t that upset at all.

 

“I’d be hurt if you didn’t,” Chloe breathed when she and Lucifer finally parted, her words so soft Trixie almost missed them. Lucifer looked a lot younger than she’d ever seen him.

 

They were happy, and that was exactly what Detective Trixie Decker wanted to happen. She’d done her job, so maybe it was time to hang up her badge. She held her hand out to Maze, who took it, squeezing gently.

 

“I’m hungry,” she said.

 

“Let’s go get something to eat, then,” Maze said. “You deserve it, Detective.”

 

Trixie grinned. Her family was happy and that made her happy, too.