All Rafael had wanted was a clean break, he had said his goodbye a singular one that was to be passed on and now he was in a tiny apartment in South Florida. Drinking up the sun and letting himself lose his normally completely put together look. In this weather he did find himself taking up running again, even if it was a treadmill staring out at the sea and the sun. It was difficult at first he struggled to make friends and to find a job.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have offers, but none of them interested him. He was not someone who wanted to protect the criminals, get them off so they could go out and comment yet another crime. Watch as he destroyed yet another life. He knew he had to do something to right his wrongs and it would require him having to make a phone call or two.
Finally he accepted that he would have to make some calls to people in New York, he didn’t have much in the way of contacts outside of the city. He still had Rita because all he knew was if he had left her like everyone else in New York she would have hunted him down dragged him back to his mothers and they would have both screamed at him for hours.
So finally he opened his phone, all he had were few texts from his mother, one from Rita and not a single email. He still wasn’t used to not having to constantly have his phone always on him, having to make sure he could answer everything and always be ready to leave any situation. This was something he enjoyed about being here, but it lonely.
Calling Rita was never an option before, but he knew that now it was sure fire way to get her to answer right away and help him.
All he could do was laugh when she started screeching about how he owed her a hundred dollars, that she knew he couldn’t stay out of the courts. But when he brought up working for the Innocence Project she made a completely different noise.
“You cannot be serious Rafael? Of all the things I expected you to do it wasn’t that. I was hoping we could finally work together again or even if you were going into teaching. All that I could understand.” Rita huffed down the phone. “Fine. I have friends there, I can give you a number and all you have to do is call. This office already has overturned a few convictions including beating your replacement.” She chuckled and he could see her face, the expression she would be making. “Just come back to New York. Drinking is dull without you.” A soft sigh came through the speaker.
Then she hung up on him.
It proved that she cared. And when his phone pinged he saw a number and then he knew all he had to do was make a call. If he got a job, he could go back home, could feel another climate that wasn’t hot and sticky. Most of all he could see his Mami and maybe make up with people.
Thinking about certain person. He couldn’t make the call yet, because if he did there was a chance that he might see them, he might not get forgiveness. It was all too much to think about.
Rafael decided was going out for a run. Running was the way he could completely zone out, just think about the heat the sound of his trainers hitting the hard ground. It was good, watching people run past and occasionally he felt eyes on him, couldn’t tell if it was that he was smiling like a madman or if it was the beard his mother had tried to rip off his face the minute she saw him. Or even both, he was sure he would look better if he trimmed it at least but this felt more like a break, because soon he would be back in suits and in the courtroom.
He could smell himself from the minute he finally walked through his door, his legs felt like jello and his feet throbbed. But it was still the best feeling, he had missed it when he was threatened in New York. Not being able to do it really had wound him up and made him a worse person for it.
He knew showering was his only option right now. It wasn’t something he could let himself do, let himself get cold and sticky with sweat; even after sex his skin would crawl. The cold tiles under his feet had him moving quickly and turning on the water spraying the wall and the mirror. And while he acknowledged he would have to dry it, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Steam flowed heavily from the shower, his clothes dropped to the ground. His skin had started to feel tacky, the thought of being in the shower had him smiling. It was one of the places he let himself think about unresolved feelings he had. Ones he had been too scared to make any motions on.
A person in particular.
Although thinking about it was something he lost himself in anytime he was allowed to. Breathing in the hot steam and finally feeling it sear down his back was great, what little tension he had felt build up was melting away.
Pushing hands through his wet hair he could almost imagine them being someone else’s hands, pulling at his own hair and he bit his lip. He always tried to keep quiet until he was completely on the edge about to let himself go. Thinking about those long legs, the whole person they were attached too. Dragging his hand down his chest, his cock jumped against his thigh as his thumb brushed a nipple and his mouth dropped open.
Panting loudly; he kept touching his nipple and the other hand slid down his chest and he skipped over the swell of his stomach. The hand on his nipple slammed against the cold tile as he finally grabbed his cock. But he couldn’t do anything about it; he couldn’t touch himself thinking of long limbs, pale skin, and hair that danced through different shades of blond depending on the light he was walking through. He just couldn’t do it, no matter how much he wanted too.
Rafael was beginning to hate his brain. It was bringing all these thoughts to the forefront. Things he had wanted to do when they had been alone in his office. How he had imagined marking up that pale neck, feeling the hard muscles of his thighs gripping at his hips. The noises that had to come out of that pink lipped mouth, the way that he would dig his nails roughly into his hair as he came in his trousers to quickly pull Rafael's open just to pull him off in those big hands.
He almost fell to his knees. He had cum and not done anything but think about someone he had wanted for so long no one else was enough for him
Moving his body slowly he lay completely naked on his bed, the brushed cotton tickling his skin. The towel covered him enough that he felt it would be acceptable to make a call and not feel wrong doing so.
So he looked at the number. Taking a deep breath.
And he finally typed the number.
Rita had said it was the most logical way to find a legitimate office that specialises in helping the Innocence Project. Lawyers who did a mixture of Pro Bono and paid cases. They were also used when the families had proof that their member was innocent. It seemed like the perfect thing for him, it was doing what he loved but he felt that maybe he wouldn’t be making the decision again that had him ending up here again.
It didn’t hurt that he had also been offered jobs at several Universities starting in the Autumn, but he felt the need to go back to New York. He wanted to be with his mother, he really wanted to go home.
Rafael finally made the call, it rang and rang. Eventually running to a stereotypical pre-recorded message. He rolled his eyes and hung up, he would try again later. it was midmorning and he could have a coffee or a drink. The life here was close to what she had wanted when she had come over here, but when she left after spending two weeks with him over Christmas; he just didn’t feel like he could really have a life there.
Everything here was slow. Rafael never felt like he had to hurry. He missed the speed of the city and something he wished he hadn’t realised after he left without a word. The friends he had made there. Some were new friends, some were old; but he really did wish he had spent more time getting to know the squad outside of Olivia.
Mainly due to the fact that one haunted him in his dreams. He knew he should phone Olivia see how Noah was doing, ask how the squad was without sounding like he was trying to fish for information about Carisi. Who no matter what he called him in his dreams or when he couldn’t stop himself from gasping his name as he came, which once had a potential lover from leaving his bed without putting his clothes on properly. But still it was going to be a difficult call and he would rather phone her with some good news.
So he made that call again after having a quick flick through the local news website, he really couldn’t deal with seeing yet another Florida Man doing something which seemed even more stupid than the headline before.
So when Rafael felt it was about to go answer machine he went to hand up when he heard the noise of a phone being picked up and the panting of someones laboured breathing; which meant that they had ran for the phone.
“Hello! This is the Innocence Project.” And even through the panting, he knew that accent. He knew that voice. “This is Dominick Carisi speaking, what can I do to help?” And all he could do was take a few breaths and try to get his hand to loosen from round his phone.
“Sonny?” And he couldn’t believe he had said that, he had never called him that to his face before. But he didn’t get to say more than that, because a sudden intake of breath and a chuckle came down the phone. He would have tried to say something but then it started.
“Counsellor.” And he could see that lopsided smile, “Wondered why Rita Calhoun would want my personal number.” The gears must be working in his head, Sonny was smart and must know why he is calling. “You wanting to come back? To come work for us?”
And while that was true, he had thought about it a lot he was also wondering why Sonny was working there. He had loved being a SVU detective, so why he had left meant something really bad must have happened in the time since he had left. “Yes. The weather here isn’t for me and I think helping those who didn’t do a crime but are serving time for it. It just seems like the right thing for me to do.” He gulped, “But how do I get a job there? The website doesn’t really have an option for that on the page.”
A loud laugh. It had his stomach flipping and his palm getting wet. “No matter how many times I tell them, they never change it.” He can hear the distant sound of a keyboard clacking and a soft voice asking what has Dominick in such high spirits. “I guess I can help you fill out an application and get you back home.”
It took over an hour, having to read out various numbers, his job history and various other information. It had been so long since he had to do this that he felt mildly overwhelmed; but could have honestly been from the sound of Sonny’s voice in his ear for so long. He really couldn’t understand what it was about it, because frankly he found his accent grating and how he would drag words out irritating. But it also made his body feel taught and shaky.
“Honestly Barba, I don’t think they will read past your name.” And Rafael knew he was going to say more but he just couldn’t stop the words falling from his mouth.
“Sonny.” It sounded breathy even to his own ears, “Call me Rafael please.”
“Alright alright.” He huffed, “Rafael. You pretty much have the job. My boss got excited when she found out you were applying, she is just going to go through the legal stuff and says it shouldn't be more than two weeks before you start.”
“Yeah yeah. I’m telling him and stop it. I am not.” And even though Rafael couldn’t hear what was being said to Sonny he was sure that the office seemed to have the same mentality as the squad room had.
Before he couldn’t bottle it and never do it, “Give me your cell?” He said and heard the stunned intake of breath and a number being quickly rushed out. “I’ll call later.” Rafael heard himself say in his I have just won this case voice. Then hung up.
He was breathing hard and knew that even though he had been on a run earlier that morning there was a very high chance he might have to go on another before tonight. Before he made that phone call to Sonny.
The day passed in a blur of frantic cleaning and more coffee than he had consumed since he had left New York. It smelt strongly of fake lemon and coffee and his head was buzzing with it.
It was well past eight and he hoped that Sonny would be finished and on his way home; or even better be there already. Cracking his neck and laying back on the couch, he looked down at himself. He had chosen a comfy yet still nice enough ensemble, grey sweats and a just loose tee. Because he was hoping that even though he had got his number only earlier in the day, that this would lead to more.
He lay back and phone Sonny, waiting for him to pick up and it was quick. As if Sonny had been waiting for the call. Sitting with his phone within arms reach. His heart picking up when the call came through. Hoping that the number he didn’t know was Rafael and not some marketing company.
He couldn’t help but shift his hips at the thought.
“Sonny. Been home long?” He started the call, “I didn’t want to call earlier in case you were still in the office.” A sigh of relief came through the phone and it confirmed what Rafael had thought. Sonny had been waiting for his call.
“No. Got off early.” A soft chuckle, “They actually force you to go home. Lights go off at seven.” Rafael raised an eyebrow like they could see each other and waited for Sonny to continue. “I was um worried you weren’t going to call. You just hung up after I gave you my number.”
Rafael hummed in agreement, he had wanted to make him feel the need for the call to come through. “I just didn’t want to have a conversation where we could be heard by your colleagues. I really wanted to know what you had been up to, what brought you to working for The Innocence Project.” He never made it sound like questions, simply stating what he wanted to know. Hoping that he could find out more, because even if he didn’t call Oliva often he felt that Sonny leaving would have made it into a call.
“Well I passed the bar and I was planning to stay on as a detective, use what I knew to my advantage. But we got this new ADA and he was just awful.” He could hear the slight anger in his voice, “Stone was good at winning cases, not as good as you, but he just didn’t understand that he kept blaming some of the victims. No matter what I said. He always said it was somehow their fault.”
And Rafael felt his skin crawl, sure he had taken a second to understand that no victim is to blame. No matter their circumstance. But it hit him harder that he had been replaced with someone so awful.
“He asked me out for drinks once. Which I took as him maybe trying to bond, try and understand why we all reacted the way we did to what he said.” A sigh, “But really he was trying to get me into bed, it hadn’t worked with Amanda and he kept saying how much he liked Blonde Officers. I quit the next day and went straight to The Innocence Project. Been there ever since.”
Rafael couldn’t wrap his head around it. This Stone guy really wasn’t the right fit for them. “He’s not still there is he?” He just had to know.
A loud laugh rang through the phone, “Yes. He really is. He is still the ADA that works with SVU, it will be three years since he started with them. Finn hates the guy, he still messages me when he thinks the guy is going to mess up.” A soft sigh, “I wish you were still there.”
It was wistful and it made his heart ache. “So do I. But I don’t regret what I did.” And he didn’t he felt bad, he felt guilt at what he had done. But there wasn’t regret there, just every other feeling that cut him up inside. “Maybe our lives would be different.” he said it in the same wistful tone Sonny had.
“How?” it was just barely a whisper. “How would it be different?” Sonny’s voice was hopeful, as if begging to hear words long wanted and craved.
Licking his lips and running a damp hand down his thigh. “I would have asked you for that drink. I would have taken you to that dump with the tacky floors. Hidden in that booth at the back. Watched you drink that cheap beer you like. Listened as you talked about how the perp deserved more time. Kept my eyes on your hand as you peeled the label off the bottle.”
Rafael shifted down the couch slightly, his legs shifting apart. He listened for a second and Sonny’s breathing was deeper, laboured.
“I would let my hand fall to your thigh, waiting for your eyes to look up at mine. I wouldn’t kiss you. Not there. But I would tell you to leave what’s left in the bottle and pull you out of that bar. I would get you in the back of a cab, let my fingers trace up and down the inner seem of those trousers you wear.” He could feel himself getting hard in his sweatpants, and hoped that Sonny was feeling the same.
“Yeah?” And he smirked, he knew he was. Sonny was feeling it.
“I’d be telling you everything we could do when we get back to mine. How I could have you naked and groaning against a wall as I slip you down my throat. How good your hands would feel in my hair, how my fingers would feel gently rubbing at your sac. That I would let you thrust into my throat when I finally touched you where you needed it.”
He finally let his hand rub over himself, feeling how hard he was from just telling Sonny what he would do to him. And he hadn’t even got to the best part. He let out a loud groan and it was echoed back to him from Sonny. Who must have finally let himself make noises after Rafael.
“Keep making those noises. You don’t know what they do to me.” He breathed down the phone.
A sharp gasp and Rafael was sure Sonny said something but it was so soft he couldn’t hear him, “Baby tell me that again?” He kept touching himself, but keep it light and fleeting. He wanted to last. He wasn’t going to let himself cum until he heard Sonny.
“...me.” A huff and he finally heard it, “Please. Show me.” Sonny was begging and it was so damn sweet.
He didn’t even answer, just moved his phone away and snapped a picture. It was okay the lighting was soft but he was sure Sonny could see the way he was completely hard in his sweatpants for him.
“We wouldn’t even make it to my bedroom. I would have you right there on the floor, inches from my front door. I’d be flat on my back and you would be begging for me to give you more than my fingers. Rocking back on them. Your hands dragging red lines down my chest and pulling at your hair. I can see you all flushed and your dick so wet, but I won’t touch it. Can you feel me?” And Rafael didn’t know why he asked, he just wanted to know.
A loud whine came through the phone with the rustle of fabric, and at that moment he wished he had a picture of it. Just a picture of his face, or his body. Just something. But his phone pinged and he hissed with how loud it was. It was from Sonny and he raised an eyebrow.
His mouth dropped. Right there on his phone he saw a video, he didn’t know if he wanted to play it. It might drive him over the edge and his hand wasn’t even fully on himself.
Watching as Sonny dragged the video up his body, he could see eyes locked on him. Pupil blown wide, sweat clinging to his hair making him glisten, and a blush worked over his nose and cheeks. It would have been enough to see that, but he could see the way one of his shoulders was moving. The rhythm of it. It started dragging down, he could see sweat pooled in areas and the arm moving roughly up and down.
Then it just stopped. Right above where he wanted to see, but he did get to see the soft swell of his stomach.
“Baby. You trying to kill me.” He groaned, slipping his hand under his sweatpants. Gripping himself and starting to rub his finger over the head. “Finally you would feel my fingers slip out and I would help you sit back on me. Make sure you were slow at first, get you used to being on top. Grasping your hips and pulling you down to meet me, hearing our skin sing. We wouldn’t last long, it’s been so much build up. But the feeling of you around me and groaning as I help you get what you really want, I’m going to make you cum Sonny. I’m going to make you a mess and clean it up with my tongue.”
And right there he heard the gasp and the clatter of a phone hitting the floor. It was in the distance but he was sure that Sonny was trying to keep quite through his orgasm. And Rafael let himself let go. He dropped his phone onto the couch, spat on his hand and started to stroke himself roughly while letting the sound of Sonny’s orgasm run through his head on a loop.
When he finally came down from his orgasm. He looked at his phone and while Sonny had hung up he had sent a message and a picture.
Rafael’s mouth went dry. Along with the message ‘Two weeks and you can really have it.’ was Sonny’s stomach. Cum splattered through the hair leading up his stomach, his cock just in the picture with a hand still round it, and just in the corner of the shot, The end of what looked like a dildo and lube. And if Rafael hadn’t just cum he would be trying to go again, because he felt himself twitch.
And before he could really think about what he was doing he was sending a photo. One of his fingers in his mouth, blatantly covered in his own cum.
Two weeks couldn’t pass quick enough, because he wanted to do everything he had talked about.