Kurt slipped his sunglasses on against the glare of the bright almost-summer sun as he walked down the steps of the theater building, rushing down them like usual but not quite sure what was propelling him. Usually it was everything else he had to do that kept him moving so quickly, but not today.
He’d taken his last final yesterday. As of two minutes before, he’d turned in his last paper. His bag felt oddly light without his laptop, books, notes, or even his paper in it. His mental to-do list was suddenly empty of school tasks. The semester was finished. He was done. His room was all but packed up, his suitcases partly filled, his shuttle booked to the airport the next afternoon.
There was no more school work to do, no more performances, no more struggling, no more hours to pass at his job.
He was just done.
Kurt adjusted the strap of his bag, awkward on his shoulder with so little weight to tug it down, and kept walking. He almost didn’t know how to feel. It was like he had been running at full-speed for months, getting through a marathon at a sprinter’s pace, and suddenly found himself running straight off of a cliff, nothing under his feet, nothing to drive him forward anymore, just floating out into the air like a feather.
He wasn’t used to floating. He was used to pushing, fighting, slogging through the mud day in and day out to get what he wanted, and although he knew when he got back to Lima he’d find himself doing the same thing all over again for the summer, he didn’t need to today. Not now.
He just didn’t really know how to do anything else, not when the alternative seemed to be to remember just how tired he was.
His chest still tight, his shoulders painfully straight, his steps clipped and quick, Kurt walked up the steps to Blaine’s dorm, edging aside as a group of students dressed for sunbathing on the quad spilled out of the door just as he got there.
Kurt’s hand flexed on his bag strap, his mouth flattening with impatience as the students hovered in the doorway, talking to someone inside instead of letting him pass. His legs felt jittery, his heartbeat skittering, every bit of him tense as he waited.
Blaine had had his last final that morning, and he’d gone out for a celebratory lunch with some of his classmates while Kurt had done the final polish on his paper. But he was back from lunch, and Kurt had promised to come right over when he was finished.
Maybe that was what was propelling him, after all, he realized, not running from his completed work out of habit but hurrying to Blaine. He wanted to be with him instead of just sitting somewhere and letting the utter fatigue of his body and mind wash over him.
The end of the semester was always a shock to Kurt’s system, switching from the mad rush of finishing everything up to the entirely different set of responsibilities that vacation put on him - work, family, Lima, slipping back into the skin of being his high school self in a way that didn’t feel right on his shoulders - but this time was different.
He had someone to fall off that cliff with him this year. He had Blaine. He didn’t have to pick himself back up alone from being burnt out and used up from the year. He could do it with Blaine. That knowledge writhed in his chest, making him impatient and grateful at the same time, because he just wanted to be done.
Kurt rushed up the steps as soon as the group went past.
He wanted to let it all go, and he didn’t want to do it alone. He didn’t have to anymore.
Blaine opened the door to his room almost as soon as Kurt took his hand away from knocking on it. He was curly-haired and a little damp, wearing shorts and a plain t-shirt, but his smile was bright enough to make up for such a casual outfit.
“You’re early,” Blaine said with obvious pleasure, stepping back to let Kurt inside. He shut the door and opened his arms.
Without hesitation Kurt dropped his bag and stepped right into the hug, curling his arms around Blaine’s back and burying his face in the familiar comfort of Blaine’s shoulder.
Blaine rubbed his back, leaning his head against Kurt’s, and said, “How are you?”
“I’m done,” Kurt said, pressing his eyes shut and breathing in the smell of Blaine’s laundry detergent and freshly showered skin. “I’m done. Done. Absolutely finished.” He could feel his taut, tired muscles letting go, and he sagged against Blaine, sure that he’d be fine with holding him up some. That was one of his best qualities, how he supported Kurt, both literally and emotionally. He was always there, always ready.
Blaine seemed to understand that Kurt didn’t just mean that he was finished with his work but was utterly spent, and he murmured something soft and not quite intelligible and kept stroking his hands over Kurt’s back.
It wasn’t that Kurt couldn’t stand on his own, he reminded himself as he let himself be held. He’d walked over on his own two feet. He could have kept walking right back to his dorm and gone back to packing. He could have done anything if he’d had to. But the point was that he didn’t have to.
He didn’t have to do anything on his own, didn’t have to do anything at all right now but be held and draw comfort and give comfort in return. That wonderful, still-new reality was enough to make his heart lift.
“Your final was okay?” he asked Blaine, though they’d already texted about it. He could feel his muscles loosening just from his proximity, just from the promise of not having to be running anymore.
Blaine nodded against him, his hair brushing against Kurt’s cheek. “I almost ran out of time on my last essay, but I got all of my points out, so... I’m fine. And I’m done.” He laughed, kissing Kurt’s hair. “I love this feeling, not having anything left to do. Don’t you?”
Kurt kept his eyes closed as he tightened his hold on Blaine, chest against chest, cheek against cheek. He sighed out his frustration. “I always feel like I’ve forgotten how to relax. I feel like I should be working, like I’m forgetting something. It’s such a fast change.”
“Yeah.” Blaine kissed him again, soft and easy, like he was already relaxed, like it was that simple for him.
“I feel like I used to be able to have fun, but I can’t remember,” Kurt said against his shoulder. He took a deep, cleansing breath. “Don’t I know how to have fun?”
“You definitely know how to have fun,” Blaine told him. He pulled back a little, his hands on Kurt’s shoulders to push them apart enough that they could see each other.
Kurt blinked his eyes open, the bright sunlight from the window making Blaine sparkle in Kurt’s vision for a moment, and found himself smiling helplessly at his boyfriend, ever kind, ever hopeful. “I’m glad you think so.”
Blaine gave him a quick peck on the lips, his smile so warm Kurt could feel some of the tension in his chest melt away just looking at him. “I always think so,” Blaine told him. He squeezed Kurt’s shoulders and lifted one hand to scrub through his messy, damp hair. “Do you want to go do something? Do you need celebratory cheesecake? I’ll just need a few minutes to put myself together. I had to take another shower when I got back. I don’t know why, but I always feel kind of grimy after taking exams.”
“All of that sweat of desperation,” Kurt agreed. “If not your own than from the people at the desks next to you.”
Blaine nodded, grinning. “That’s exactly it.” He ran his hand over his unruly hair again and stepped back out of Kurt’s grasp. “Anyway, if you give me a few minutes, we can go get you that cheesecake.”
“Okay,” Kurt said, but he could feel his shoulders falling as soon as they weren’t touching, the fatigue settling back into his limbs after what seemed like barely a moment of buoyancy.
He’d have to watch the time. He knew he really should organize his clothes better before he packed them away, leaving some in the storage rooms of the dorm and taking the rest home. Late August in Ohio was usually still hot and summery, but he might want a few of his fall pieces just in case the season turned early. And he still had to get his good mattress down to the storage room and haul the dorm-provided one up without the RAs noticing, not that they could really do anything to him at this point for breaking that rule, but he’d rather just avoid the whole situation if he could. His RA had barely spoken to him all year after the first week, and he didn’t want to change that now.
But he could go out first. He had the time for that. Cheesecake, maybe a little window shopping, and then back to everything he should do.
“Kurt?” Blaine asked, frowning a little at him with his comb loose in his hand.
“Sorry,” Kurt said with a little shake of his head. “I was just thinking about what else I need to pack up tonight.”
“I thought you said you were almost done with it. I worked extra hard last night, because I’ve been feeling behind,” Blaine said, and for the first time Kurt really took in how bare Blaine’s room was. Rob’s half was completely empty, stripped of bedding, posters, and the customary tower of soda cans, and his bed was covered with a handful of cardboard boxes, neatly labeled with Blaine’s handwriting. Blaine’s bookshelf was largely empty, the top of his dresser neat as usual but without the customary bric-a-brac of his life.
Kurt shook his head again. “No, I am. But I - I don’t know. I feel like I should just keep going while I have any energy left.” He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “God, I’m tired.”
Blaine made a sympathetic little noise and set his comb back on his dresser, setting his hands on Kurt’s waist and pulling him back into his arms. “If you want cheesecake, we can get you cheesecake, but if you’d let me I might have a better idea.”
“Better than cheesecake?” Kurt asked with a hint of a laugh, swaying into the comforting strength of his body.
Blaine nodded. “If you want, I think you should take a hot shower, wash off that grime of finals, and then I’ll give you the best massage in the world before we take a nice nap.” He raised his eyebrows, hope combined with nerves on his face. “We can always have cheesecake afterwards.”
The temptation was almost a tangible pull in Kurt’s chest, the thought of lying down and relaxing instead of going so antithetical to everything he’d been doing for so long and yet such a luxury he hadn’t been able to indulge in in... he couldn’t even remember. Had it last been spring break? “Best massage in the world, hmm?”
Blaine’s smile warmed back to life, and his hands firmed on the small of Kurt’s back, rubbing small, magical circles there. “You’ll have to be the judge.” His grin turned even brighter, and he raised his eyebrows in challenge. “I’ll let you borrow my plaid robe. I know how much you like it...”
“I do not,” Kurt said. “It’s threadbare and hideous.” But it was also so, so soft from all of the washings it had been through over the years, and there was something about wrapping himself up in it to go shower or brush his teeth after spending the rare night in Blaine’s room that made him feel more close and couple-y than almost anything, that intimacy of sharing of such personal clothes. It was like wrapping himself up in part of Blaine.
Blaine pressed a kiss to the corner of Kurt’s mouth. “I’ll get it for you,” he said with a grin, hurrying to his closet with a pleased spring in his step.
“I didn’t say yes to your plan,” Kurt said, but he began to unbutton his vest, anyway. There was no point in waiting to undress fully in the cramped shower area when he could leave some layers in Blaine’s room.
Blaine brought over his simple black shower shoes, the ratty plaid robe draped over his arm. “My caddy is still in its cubby,” he said, apparently unfazed by the complaint. “Use whatever you want.”
Kurt folded his vest and placed it on top of Rob’s dresser before unzipping his boots and slipping them off. “Is this what you had planned all along? You could have warned me. I could have brought over my own products.”
“I didn’t plan it,” Blaine said, setting the shoes on the floor so Kurt could step into them once his socks were off. He looked up while still leaning down, his eyes clear and happy on Kurt’s, and he looked so appealing that Kurt felt his heart thump into his throat. “But I could think of much worse ways to spend our last afternoon in New York.”
“We still haven’t been to the top of the Empire State Building together,” Kurt reminded him. It was one of the many romantic things they hadn’t quite found the time and money to do together in the city, and a part of him hated how much of his life school and work demanded.
Blaine held out the robe. “It’ll be there in the fall,” he said with a soft smile and what looked kind of like a plea behind the confidence in his eyes. “And so will Rob and homework and everything else we usually have to worry about. But all of that’s gone today. I think we should take advantage of it.”
Looking at him, Kurt could feel his heart swelling in his chest out of fondness and gratitude, because Blaine was right. He was absolutely right. They had a chance to do nothing but be together, and it wasn’t something he wanted to waste. He took the robe in one hand and tugged Blaine close with the other, fingers curling in Blaine’s shirt. “I love you,” he said, quite seriously but with a smile he couldn’t possibly have held back. “And I will definitely be judging your massage, so bring your A game.”
Blaine smiled back, wide and happy. He flexed his hands and rubbed them together. “I’m ready.”
Kurt let go of Blaine’s shirt, smoothing his hand down Blaine’s chest before stepping back. “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”
“Take your time,” Blaine said. “Half the hall’s gone. Nobody will be waiting. And I know how much you like a long shower.”
Kurt smiled his agreement and slipped out into the hall. Blaine’s dorm bathroom was nothing special, just a few stalls, a few sinks, and a few two-part shower cubicles, much like Kurt’s dorm was set up, all covered in grubby but fairly clean white tile. He hooked Blaine’s tidily organized shower caddy from its spot on the wall - Blaine trusted his hallmates much more than Kurt did if he didn’t worry about his products being used when he wasn’t there - and let himself into the far shower.
As he undressed, Kurt’s heart fluttered a little at the travel-sized tube of his favorite shampoo sitting in the caddy. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it, but there was still something special about Blaine carving out a little of his space for Kurt’s, making a bit more of a home for him here in this temporary home of Blaine’s.
If there was one thing about Blaine’s dorm that Kurt always appreciated it was the fantastic water pressure. The spray was hot as it blasted against his chest and back, sluicing down him in waves. He was almost immediately enveloped by clouds of steam and the splatter of the spray bouncing off the shower stall walls.
It was overpowering, so much at once that like a white noise machine but for touch it was almost impossible for him to think or feel anything else but the pressure of the water against his skin, the heat sinking into him and pushing out the stress with it.
He hung his head, letting the spray pound against his neck and down his back, feeling the tension spool out of his legs and abdomen minute after long minute, making him feel shaky and weak. A sense of enervation crept through him, weighing down his shoulders, his chest, his toes, but it was good. The lethargy was what he needed after so much constant activity. It was the start of relaxation, not just being tired.
Finally, when the pads of his fingers were beginning to prune, he drew in a deep, steamy breath and made himself scrub himself clean with Blaine’s favorite sandalwood shower gel while he had the energy. When he was finished with that, he used his own shampoo on his hair, soaping it up and then letting the hot water spill over his head and wash it all away. It was an odd combination of smells in the cramped stall, bits of both of them at at once, and he found himself smiling with an almost painful pleasure in it.
He knew that smell. Blaine left it behind on his sheets when he stayed overnight. It had mingled on the cardigan Blaine had borrowed from him one cold March afternoon and had kept for a few weeks. It wasn’t the most intimate smell of them both, it was still them, together, and he was carrying it all on his own skin.
It went straight to his heart, something special that meant the two of them, the unit they truly were.
He stood under the spray for a few minutes longer once he was clean, letting it pour over him and wash more than just dirt free from his body, and he was still smiling as he got out and wrapped himself up in Blaine’s favorite robe, so soft it was like a hug come to life. He pulled on his underwear but folded the rest of his clothes over his arm, not really wanting to have anything between his skin and the worn flannel.
Feeling so much more still inside his body than he had when he’d begun the shower, Kurt padded down the quiet hallway and let himself back into Blaine’s room. Blaine was smoothing out the covers on his bed, his hair combed but not gelled, and he looked up and smiled as Kurt came in and locked the door behind him.
“How was it?” Blaine asked.
“I’m not sure that shower was the smartest idea. I feel like I could sleep for about three years now,” Kurt replied with a self-conscious grin, setting his pile of clothes on top of Rob’s dresser and curling his hands into the deep cuffs of Blaine’s robe.
“We could skip the massage if you want,” Blaine offered, though his smile faded some at the suggestion.
“Oh, no. You are not getting out of backing up your boasting.” Kurt slipped the tie at his waist free and let the robe drop off of his shoulders. “I was promised the best massage in the world. Where do you want me?”
His eyes sharp on Kurt’s mostly bare body, Blaine swallowed audibly, to Kurt’s delight, but he simply gestured to the neatly made bed.
“Okay,” Kurt said, and he tucked the robe over Blaine’s chair and let himself down onto the bed, readily melting into the covers. His muscles cried out with relief simply at not having to hold him upright.
“I don’t have any oil,” Blaine said with a note of apology in his voice, “but I think we’ll be okay. I’ll take it slowly.” He sat beside Kurt’s hip on the narrow mattress, and his hands were soothing from their very first glide up Kurt’s back, just a caress.
Kurt rolled his neck, his face pressed against Blaine’s pillow, and breathed out slowly. He was used to Blaine’s touch doing the opposite of calming him, really. He was used to it working him into a frenzy of desire, and he made himself push down his usual buzz of anticipation. “I trust you,” he said instead and let his eyes droop shut.
Blaine did start slowly, soft caresses turning into harder sweeps of his hands down Kurt’s back, across his shoulders, along his arms, and back again, pulling, squeezing, and somehow soothing the tension out of him, stroke by stroke, bit by bit.
It was easy for Kurt to drift in a sleepy haze as Blaine worked, pushing and rubbing, shifting his weight on the mattress and finally straddling Kurt’s hips to put his body behind the deep press of his hands up the long muscles of Kurt’s back.
“Is this hurting you?” Blaine asked as he carefully settled into place, his weight adding to the stretch of Kurt’s back.
“Not even a little,” Kurt told him, content and only half-awake. It was so easy. It felt so good. It felt good to be massaged, but even more it felt good to be cared for, pieces of the armor Kurt kept around himself day to day falling to the floor as Blaine worked, caring for him, loving him.
This was so much better than cheesecake to soothe the last of finals out of him.
Blaine worked at his shoulders and moved lower inch by inch, pressing hard into every knot until he was working out the tension in Kurt’s lower back with firm circles of his thumbs.
Shuddering with the relief, Kurt moaned as Blaine’s palms slid up his bare back yet again in a long, glorious sweep, the heels of his hands digging deep into the now-loose muscles. “God, Blaine, how do you know how to do that? You could moonlight as a masseur.”
With a laugh, Blaine turned Kurt’s previously tense shoulders into jelly with another touch of his magic hands. “Just good instincts, I guess,” he said, smoothing his hands down along Kurt’s spine. “And I may have watched some videos on YouTube.”
“I feel like I’m going to melt into a puddle right here on your mattress,” Kurt told him, rubbing his cheek against the soft material of Blaine’s navy bedspread. He was vaguely aware of the sound of students out in the hallway and down on the quad outside of Blaine’s window, but mostly he was just relaxed. His body was grounded by Blaine’s hands on his skin and Blaine’s weight resting on his ass but was somehow also slipping free, free from the stresses that had been pressing on him for weeks. Months. Forever, maybe. He felt lighter than he could remember, drifting so easily.
“That’s the point,” Blaine said, his smile evident in his voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew how to do this?” Kurt dragged in a slow, happy breath as Blaine worked at the knots at the base of his neck. “No, I know why you haven’t. I would have shamelessly used and abused your talents for my own selfish reasons and never let you do any of your homework.”
Blaine laughed again, caressing down Kurt’s back and pushing his thumbs into just the perfect spot at the base of his spine, pulling another moan out of him. “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have minded. I like getting to touch you.” He shifted back to sit on Kurt’s thighs, his skin warm and the material of his shorts soft against Kurt’s bare thighs, and edged the waistband of Kurt’s underwear down a few inches to massage the muscles beneath.
“Oh, I see where this is going,” Kurt said with a laugh, not really complaining. The touch felt wonderful, releasing tension there he didn’t even know he was carrying, but it hardly seemed innocent. “I should have known your offer of a celebratory, post-finals massage was a line to get my clothes off.”
“It wasn’t a line,” Blaine insisted, sliding his hands up Kurt’s back in another deep, smooth, absolutely delicious motion.
Kurt closed his eyes and shuddered his way through the sensation of his body giving up that much more of his stress. God, he felt incredible. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this at ease in his body, not without an orgasm beforehand. All of the remnants of the stress of the semester had just melted away over the past half hour, pushed out by Blaine’s touch.
“I just wanted to help you relax,” Blaine said, repeating the movement. “I know how stressed you’ve been. The Review, the musical, finals.”
Kurt sighed out his agreement. This morning seemed like so long ago. He vaguely remembered reading through his paper one last time before printing it out and walking it across campus to the department office before the deadline. He remembered the acidity of his third cup of coffee as he worked. He remembered the determination powering his legs across the quad in time with the music playing in his head on the way to Blaine’s dorm afterwards.
It all seemed so long ago now.
“But now it’s summer,” Blaine said with an audible smile, the promise of picnics and fireflies in his voice, even if they weren’t what Kurt’s summers usually consisted of. His thumbs worked their magic at the base of Kurt’s skull, the weight of his body back on Kurt’s ass and helping keep the muscles of his lower back stretched. “I thought this would be the best way I knew to get you to enjoy it as quickly as possible.”
Rolling his neck in ways he’d forgotten he could even stretch it outside of his movement classes where he forcibly made his body do his bidding, Kurt still felt like he was in free-fall from the marathon he’d been running all year, but it wasn’t the same lost feeling as before. This bed and this man and his wonderful hands were there to catch him, who wanted to, who cared enough to do this for him at all after a stressful year of his own.
“I love you so much,” Kurt said, the slurred words slipping out unbidden but so true. The sunlight was a bright honey-gold on the other side of his closed eyelids, the bed soft and warm beneath him, his boyfriend pressing him into it and making him feel so good.
He could hear the smile in Blaine’s voice when he dipped his head to kiss the nape of Kurt’s neck in a gentle, sweet kiss. “I love you, too, Kurt.” He trailed his nose in the edge of Kurt’s shower-damp hair and kissed him again. “Will you let me keep taking care of you?” The question was quiet but there was a hint of unsteadiness beneath it Kurt didn’t quite understand.
Kurt slid his hands up the bedspread to a position where he could use them to turn himself over and have a more direct conversation, where he could see more of what was going on in Blaine’s face, though he couldn’t quite bring himself to put any weight on them and make it happen. “Blaine - “
Lowering himself to lie more fully on Kurt, Blaine ran his hands down Kurt’s arms and tangled their fingers together. His chin rested on Kurt’s shoulder, his chest against Kurt’s back, his mouth against Kurt’s ear, his whole body a comforting press of weight and heat on Kurt’s relaxed muscles. “I just want to touch you,” he said. “We’re going home tomorrow. Rob’s already gone. We have the whole afternoon with nothing to do and no one to interrupt us, and I don’t know when we’re going to have that again for a while. I know we’ll see each other, but...” He trailed off, sounding a little unsure.
Pulling their hands in closer to his chest like a hug, Kurt rubbed his thumbs over Blaine’s. He wasn’t wrong that everything was going to be different over the summer. Kurt was confident that they’d have time together despite living further apart and being in a town that was less accepting of them. They were resourceful. They’d make time.
Still... It was going to be hard. It was going to be different. They’d have to deal with their parents and their work schedules. Having the whole afternoon alone together was a luxury they weren’t going to repeat any time soon.
“You’re right,” Kurt told him, squeezing his hands and closing his eyes again to enjoy the press of Blaine’s body on top of his. He wasn’t too heavy, just solid and warm enough, bare chested against Kurt’s back. “We should take advantage of it. But if you wanted me to be an energetic participant, you shouldn’t have started with a massage. I feel like a limp noodle.”
Blaine chuckled, the rich sound vibrating down Kurt’s body, and he kissed the side of Kurt’s throat in that spot they both loved best for how it made Kurt’s toes curl. “Trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing.”
Kurt pressed his cheek into the bedspread and grinned, a giddy joy bubbling up in him at the teasing promise in Blaine’s voice. He knew he’d perk up as his body came alive with arousal, but he always liked it when Blaine had a plan. “Well, if you want to worship my body while I lie here and enjoy it, who am I to stop you?”
Blaine kissed Kurt’s throat again, and he murmured with a surprising amount of feeling, “Oh, I do want to, Kurt. So much.” His mouth worked beneath Kurt’s ear, sucking long, wet kisses there until Kurt was melting into the mattress with so much pleasure he wanted to purr, and only then did Blaine move away, kissing the back of Kurt’s neck and over his shoulders, his hands still tight in Kurt’s beside them.
It was a heady mix of sensations spiraling through Kurt’s body. He was limp with pleasure from the hot shower and thorough massage, and yet having Blaine kissing him was making his skin start to buzz. Blaine kissed down his spine, the slight scruff of his skin a pleasant scratch compared to the softness of his lips, and when he let go of Kurt’s hands to prop himself up further down Kurt’s body, Kurt felt untethered and light in comparison, ready to drift up off the bed toward that wonderful mouth.
“Mmm,” Blaine murmured, smoothing his hands up Kurt’s back again in a gentle massage and kissing each vertebra in turn down toward his waist. “You feel so good.” He pushed down on Kurt’s sides in turn, stretching him out in a careful twist of his torso, and said, “You really are relaxed.” He sounded surprised and awed, like he hadn’t realized just how good everything he’d done had made Kurt feel.
“Your hands are magical,” Kurt told him. He tucked his arms up under his head, keeping his eyes closed and feeling the extra bit of stretch in his back.
Blaine’s laugh was soft, a tickle of air against Kurt’s waist, and he kissed the upper swell of Kurt’s ass. He tugged gently at Kurt’s underwear. “Let me?” he asked.
“Mmm,” was Kurt’s contented reply, and he somehow found the coordination to lift up his hips so Blaine could strip him of the last of his clothing.
“Here,” Blaine said, urging him up once more and sliding a pillow beneath his hips as well.
The shift in position pressed Kurt’s face into his arms, his back dipping, because he didn’t feel like holding himself up. He felt like warm taffy, stretched and soft, pliant under Blaine’s careful hands.
There was the soft rustle of fabric, and then Blaine arched over him again, his shorts now off but his underwear still on. “Comfortable?”
“Yes,” Kurt said again, smiling as Blaine started kissing his throat again, this time more eagerly. He tilted his neck a little, curling his fingers around his crossed forearms to ground himself.
Each kiss was a soft, wet press of Blaine’s lips, accompanied by little sounds of pleasure deep in Blaine’s throat. His hands were sweet on Kurt’s skin, molding the counters of his arms and back, slipping down his bare hip to his thigh and back up his side, eager but not greedy, just caressing, loving.
“You taste really good,” Blaine told him, mouthing at the junction of his throat and shoulder.
“It’s your shower gel,” Kurt reminded him as he arched a little into him.
Blaine shook his head and kissed Kurt’s shoulder, closed-mouthed and careful. “It’s you,” he said, sweet as sugar and so matter of fact in a way that went straight to Kurt’s heart.
Kurt wanted to turn over and kiss him as much as he wanted to stay there and enjoy everything Blaine wanted to give him. He didn’t want to struggle onto his back or stop him, he just... wanted. “Blaine...”
“I’ve got you.” Blaine kissed Kurt’s shoulder again and to the back of his neck, his breath as much of a caress as his mouth and hands.
“I know,” Kurt replied, squeezing his eyes shut and making himself go loose again beneath Blaine’s touch. He loved the attention, the way it was making his heart swell as well as his body sing. Sometimes he wanted to be the one pushing what they did, but right now he wanted more of this careful adoration. He wanted to soak it up and let it fill his heart. He wanted all of it.
Edging to Kurt’s side, Blaine stroked his hand along Kurt’s thigh and hip as he kissed down Kurt’s back again, wide, slow, open-mouthed kisses, leaving ripples of need in their wake.
“Blaine,” Kurt said again, because his touch felt so good, arousal building in a gentle but insistent wave. He pressed his forehead against his arms, trying to keep from jittering apart too soon.
Blaine made a soft, happy noise in reply and just kept kissing him. He covered Kurt’s back with kisses and then spent a long time at the base of Kurt’s spine, hands at his waist. His thumbs dug into the muscle there until the last of the tension melted away while his mouth worked its dark, teasing magic above them, kissing and licking and loving that lucky swath of skin below his waist until Kurt’s breath was ragged with the need for him to go further.
“Blaine,” he said more urgently, struggling to take a steady breath.
Blaine kissed the small of his back, then pushed up to his knees beside him. “Can I keep going?” he asked, running his palm down to cup Kurt’s ass, squeezing carefully.
Kurt choked back a moan at the feel of Blaine’s warm hand there, knowing full well what Blaine wanted and perfectly happy to give it to him. He was still relaxed, but there was a thrumming tension rising in him, making his skin flush hot and his cock swell against the pillow beneath it. It was the need for sex, yes, arousal being a powerful thing, but it was also just the need for Blaine, for this man who clearly loved him so much to give him more. “At this point I’d gladly give you the contents of my closet for you to keep going,” he admitted.
“That’s not necessary,” Blaine told him with a soft, pleased laugh. He slid his hands along Kurt’s inner thighs, coaxing them wide enough that he could ease himself between them, his arms somehow burning hot against Kurt’s delicate skin. Or maybe it was just Kurt’s desire that was burning. “Besides, it all looks better on you.”
“You say - “ Kurt gasped a little as Blaine’s hands cupped his ass again, squeezing his cheeks and pushing them up and apart. He could feel the warmth of Blaine’s breath, hear the hitch in it that meant Blaine was turned on, and he rolled his forehead against his crossed arms. “You say the sweetest things.”
Blaine’s response was a wet kiss to Kurt’s upper thigh and matching kiss on the other one. He shuffled closer, resting his forearms on Kurt’s legs and spreading him open again.
As the moment dragged on, Kurt became aware of just how exposed he was, knowing that Blaine was looking at him, feeling the moist puff of his breath against his leg, feeling the firm press of his fingers digging into muscle and holding him there. He could almost be uncomfortable, almost want to squirm away - and then Blaine’s mouth was there, warm and wet and so, so gentle, kissing down his cheek, along his crack, and to his hole, whisper-soft and determined.
“Oh,” Kurt breathed out, not surprised by the touch, because he knew it was coming, but still shocked by it, shocked to have Blaine’s mouth there in the middle of the day with no alcohol involved, shocked by the intimacy, shocked by the pleasure, all for him, right there. It was bright and powerful, that pleasure, the feeling of Blaine between his legs, right there where he was most secret, where no one knew him but Blaine, where he trusted Blaine to be.
Blaine hummed his agreement and kissed over Kurt’s hole again, this time wetter, longer, pulling his cheeks apart even further and licking over him, lush and generous and eager. “Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice all gravel and need, and he licked him harder, peppering his cheeks with kisses and toe-curling scratches of stubbly whisker against that sensitive skin.
He squeezed and lifted, pushing Kurt’s cheeks together and apart as he kissed down between them, down to his balls and over the crease of his thigh and back again. Every nerve in Kurt’s body felt lit up from trying to capture and catalogue each touch, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t think about it. He could only feel it.
Kurt breath came out in panting moans he couldn’t quite hold back, and he hid behind his closed eyes and spread his legs wider, needing more of Blaine’s thrilling touches and the banked eagerness behind them.
With a groan, Blaine pulled him open again and began to lick in earnest, long swipes becoming more targeted at his rim, over and over and over again until Kurt could feel himself opening for him, could feel the taut muscle there just starting to ease at the slick press of Blaine’s hot, wet tongue, like his body wasn’t under his control but had a mind of its own, wanting Blaine in its own desperate way.
Kurt rolled his head on his arms, rocked his hips against the pillow, and said, “Blaine, I need - “ and before he got the sentence out he had it, the tip of Blaine’s tongue pushing into him, working its way inside, opening him up that much more. He cried out in need, struggling a bit against the weight of Blaine’s arms on his legs, holding him down, and all the more turned on for how Blaine just kept him there, kept him right where he wanted him, right where he could push and lick and fuck with his tongue.
“Oh, god. Blaine, god, that’s - “ Kurt shivered from head to toe as Blaine’s tongue pressed further inside. Blaine’s thumbs pressed inwards towards Kurt’s stretching entrance, just barely stroking it as he licked his way in. Shaking, Kurt wanted to ride back onto that tongue, wanted to hold him there, wanted to fuck against the pillow until he came. He knew Blaine would let him. He knew Blaine wanted it, wanted to take care of him and pull him apart and make him come, but Kurt wanted something more.
“Look at you,” Blaine murmured, resting his cheek against Kurt’s thigh as he stroked and pressed his thumb over Kurt’s hole.
Kurt pressed his eyes shut as he felt the muscles flutter beneath Blaine’s thumb, wanting it inside. Wanting him inside.
They’d talked about it, Blaine fucking him, but they hadn’t done it. It had been the busy end of the semester. There’d hardly been time for blow jobs, not to mention anything else. And Kurt... Kurt was sure he wanted Blaine to fuck him, to top, but he’d never done it. It wasn’t something he wanted to do on a whim on a drunken night out. He’d wanted to wait until it was... well, not special, because after dating this long and having had sex the first night they met, it wasn’t like he needed flowers and soft lighting to be intimate with Blaine, but he still wanted it to be a moment, because letting Blaine in in that way, letting his guard down to him, letting go of all of the bitter memories of men in his past who didn’t look beyond his face and the slimness of his body and assumed the only thing he was good for was to be fucked... it wasn’t something that he wanted to happen in the heat of the moment. He wanted to choose. He wanted it to be real and connected. He wanted to make it his.
He wanted it to be now. Right now, with Blaine loving him and taking care of him and making him feel so relaxed and comfortable that he couldn’t think of any reason at all why he wouldn’t want this or him, why he would be threatened, why he would need to keep that last bit of control over his body.
He was in control of his body by giving it to Blaine, because he knew Blaine would take care of it even better than he would.
“Blaine - “ Kurt started, the breathy word cut off almost before it was out of his mouth, because Blaine was licking into him again, fast and fervent. “Ah.”
“You are so beautiful,” Blaine told him, and Kurt would have laughed at his ass of all things being called that except that Blaine so clearly meant it. Blaine meant every compliment, every touch, every smile. There was no lie in him, not anymore, not when it came to Kurt, and it made Kurt melt even more.
“Blaine - “ Kurt said again. The word turned into a groan as Blaine pushed just the tip of his thumb against him, licking around it as it worked against the loosening ring of muscle. The pressure of Blaine’s thumb, the nimble glide of his tongue, the scruff of his whiskers against Kurt’s skin, the soft, eager noises Blaine was making against him, like he was just as turned on by it all... it all went right to Kurt’s head and his cock, making him dizzy with desire.
“Does it feel good?” Blaine asked. He licked a wet, sensual circle around his rubbing thumb, and Kurt felt his body give that much more, just the way it always did, just the way his heart did day after day. He didn’t want to resist. He didn’t want to hold any part of himself back from Blaine.
“So good,” Kurt gasped against his arms, the world dark and far away except for Blaine’s touch. He wished he could just will his body to be open already, to be open and prepped and eager for Blaine’s tongue and fingers and cock. He was shaking with how much he wanted it. It was time. It was past time.
“Good, because I love doing this to you. I love seeing you like this.” Blaine caressed Kurt’s ass with a gentle hand and then licked at him again, easing him that much more open.
Kurt tangled his fingers in the bedspread, just barely rutting back against him and down onto the pillow, feeling wanton and lazy all at once, wet and open and needy.
“Fuck,” Blaine said, biting gently at the swell of his ass as the pad of his thumb pressed inside, deeper than before.
Kurt’s breath caught in his throat at the sensation of Blaine pushing into him, and he had to swallow before he could form words again. “You can,” he said. “Fuck me. You can.”
Blaine froze, his head jerking up from where he had been resting it against Kurt’s leg and his hands slipping down to Kurt’s thighs. “What? Kurt?”
Kurt made himself lift his head, too, though he felt like he didn’t quite have control of it as he looked over his shoulder. Blaine was flushed with arousal, his eyes dark and his mouth open wide in wonder. He looked so surprised that Kurt had to smile. “You can fuck me,” he said. “If you want to.”
Pushing himself up a little, Blaine stammered, “Of course I want to. But you hadn’t - I mean, we haven’t before - I know we talked but - I just don’t want to push - “
“Blaine Anderson, your hands and mouth might be magical, but when have you ever pushed me into doing anything I didn’t want to do?” Kurt said with rather more composure than he would have expected, given that his whole body was jittering with need. “I’m happy. I love you. I feel really good, thanks to you, and I want to if you do.”
Blaine almost toppled off the end of the bed as he scooted backwards, and he hurried over to kneel beside Kurt’s head, the position putting them at the same level. He looked into Kurt’s eyes and after a moment seemed to like what he found there, because he smiled back, all crinkled eyes and pink lips. “Okay,” he said, cupping Kurt’s face for a tender moment before kissing him, soft and closed-mouthed, lightning-quick.
Before Kurt could pull himself together to kiss back properly, Blaine was already turning to open the drawer of the little plastic storage container that served as his nightstand. He pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom, looking at Kurt’s face again before pushing the drawer closed. He stood there for a moment, flushed and eager, wearing only a pair of navy boxer-briefs tented by his erection. “If you change your mind...”
“If I change my mind, I’ll let you know,” Kurt told him. He reached out to touch Blaine’s lovely stomach, trailing his fingers along the line of hair there down toward his underwear. He pulled away just before he made contact with Blaine’s cock and watched Blaine sway toward him in frustration, and he put his head back down on his arms with a show of calmness he didn’t quite feel, aware that he was lying there exposed and asking for something he’d never experienced before. “But I’m not going to.”
“Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice hoarse with feeling, and he dropped his underwear to the floor and his supplies to the bed and slid in beside him. His body was burning hot against Kurt’s, solid, sweat-damp, and a little scratchy with hair, and he felt so good that Kurt shivered at the contact, arching back into him.
“I love you so much,” Blaine said, urging Kurt onto his side so that his back was pressed against Blaine’s chest. He kissed Kurt’s shoulder and neck again and again - hard, sweet, needy - until Kurt had to crane around to kiss him properly, uncomfortable from the strain of the angle but so, so necessary. It was deep and frantic immediately, both of them moaning as they opened their mouths to each other, the first real kisses they’d shared all afternoon.
Dizzy with a strange combination of relief and urgency at the touch of Blaine’s lips against his own, Kurt got his hand back to hold Blaine’s head close as Blaine curled his arm around him, caressing his chest and stomach with a desperation Kurt could completely understand. He wanted everything, all of him, and he wanted it right now.
“Blaine,” he said with breathless need as Blaine pulled him back against him, his hard, slick-tipped cock skimming along Kurt’s ass as they kissed. God, Kurt wanted to touch him. He wanted to drive him wild, as wild and needy as he felt right now. He wanted to kiss him and touch him and fuck him and -
Kurt just needed to be closer, right now, no more waiting.
“Blaine,” he said again.
“I know, I know,” Blaine said, his voice tinged with self-conscious laughter, like he couldn’t quite believe he’d gotten off-track already just by kissing. “Sorry.”
Kurt curled his hand around Blaine’s jaw, meeting his eyes over his shoulder. “Don’t apologize,” he said softly. He waited until Blaine’s hazy eyes focused enough to register the words, and he smiled at Kurt, warm and affectionate and real. Kurt smiled back, his heart in his throat and so love in with this man, because getting lost in Blaine and Blaine getting lost in him was one of the best feelings in the world, and he knew Blaine felt the same way.
“Okay,” Blaine said. “Tell me if you don’t like anything I do.” He dropped a kiss on Kurt’s shoulder even as he maintained eye contact from beneath his unfairly thick fringe of lashes.
“I trust you,” Kurt told him again, absolutely sure. There was nothing he didn’t want to share with him, nothing he’d be too scared to try, nothing he’d be afraid to share between them, not now. Blaine couldn’t misjudge him, couldn’t forget everything he was just because this was something he wanted, too. Blaine knew who he was. Blaine loved who he was. “And stop worrying. You look more nervous than I am.”
Blaine ran his hand over Kurt’s hip and down his flank. His eyes were dark and serious but not unhappy. “I just want it to be perfect.”
With a little shake of his head, Kurt curled his hand over Blaine’s and said, “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be us.”
With something of a smile, Blaine kissed Kurt’s shoulder again, hard and fierce. “I like us,” he said with quiet honesty, resting his cheek where his mouth had just been.
“Me, too. And I like you. And I really like what you were doing, so...” Kurt wiggled his ass a little, shameless, his breath catching as his erection rubbed against the pillow beneath his hips, and Blaine grinned in reply.
“Well, then,” he said, slipping his fingers between Kurt’s spit-slick cheeks and making Kurt close his eyes with desire as they brushed over his hole and down to his perineum. “Let’s see what I can do about that.”
“Okay.” Kurt’s voice was far weaker than he would have liked, but it was all he could do to draw breath when Blaine was teasing him there with gentle strokes of his fingers. Kurt shuddered, his stomach tightening with each little circle on that sensitive skin. It wasn’t the first time Blaine had licked him open or fingered him, but it wasn’t something they’d done often and - more importantly - it wasn’t something they’d ever done with the promise of it being only the beginning.
Somehow when Blaine pressed one lubed finger against him this time, it felt so much bigger and so much smaller than it ever had. That teasing finger wasn’t the thing that would drive Kurt over the edge as Blaine used his mouth or other hand to get him there; it was only starting the process of getting him ready for what would.
It was only the beginning, Kurt thought with a happy shiver, digging his fingers into the covers and pressing back against Blaine. God, as much as he’d liked Blaine rimming him, this was even better, having him so close - on their sides, back to chest, legs and hips and shoulders touching - as he slowly worked his way inside.
“Oh, god,” Kurt said as Blaine’s finger edged inside, so gentle, so insistent, so good, stretching him and filling him and yet this time only the means to quite a different end.
“You like that?” Blaine asked, husky and soft.
There was something intoxicating to Kurt about the way his body responded to Blaine’s touch, not fighting but inviting, like everything that his mind and heart clung to about control and boundaries didn’t matter at all to his body, not when it was Blaine touching him. He’d never felt that way with anyone else, but with Blaine all of his walls just melted away.
“Yes.” Kurt shivered again as Blaine thumbed the loosening rim around his finger. He knew he was going to stretch much wider, but still, the intimacy of the touch and the way Blaine’s breath was coming faster, loud in Kurt’s ear, made him flush hot, sweat prickling down his chest. “Yes, you know I do.”
Blaine’s laugh rumbled down Kurt’s spine, and he withdrew his finger and added another to nudge at Kurt’s entrance. “I haven’t even hit your prostate yet.” He pushed inside, thrusting slickly in and out and coaxing him open. The touch was so intimate, and yet it felt so right to Kurt, letting Blaine touch him and learn about him inside and out.
“You ah - “ Kurt bit his lip as Blaine sank deeper, the burn he felt at the stretch only adding to the fire in him, because it was Blaine doing it to him, Blaine making it happen, Blaine wanting him in such a personal, careful way. Blaine twisted his fingers, and Kurt didn’t know how he was able to keep control of his voice as he shivered through the movement of Blaine’s hand. “You will. I know how much you like what it does to me when you do.”
Blaine’s mouth was hot on Kurt’s shoulder as he kissed him there, sloppy and sweet. "You're right about that." He pushed his fingers in deeper, and Kurt made a choked noise as he clenched around him, trying to hold him in place through the delicious stretch. “You feel - “ Blaine mouthed over his shoulder again, more frantic, holding his hand still and deep in him as Kurt tightened and relaxed, relishing the fullness and getting caught up the building need for more. “You feel so good to me, and you are going to feel so good, and I - “
“I know.” Kurt gave an experimental rock of his hips, hissing at the glide of Blaine’s cock against his skin as much as the feeling of his firm fingers inside his body. He tipped his head back, rubbing it against the top of Blaine’s hair, just needing more connection than Blaine’s body pressed up behind him, his leg over Kurt’s, his arm curved over his ass as his fingers pressed deep.
Blaine made a quiet, needy noise against Kurt’s shoulder, kissing him there again and again as he worked Kurt’s body looser.
There were times - most of the time, he could readily admit - when Kurt liked to be bossy, to push and insist and call the shots. He had no problem being vocal about what he wanted, and he knew Blaine had no problem with it, either, not in bed, at least. Blaine was always eager to please, and if he wanted something else he was also eager to convince Kurt to change his mind, often in inventive and very mutually pleasurable ways.
Right now, though, he didn’t want to push. He didn’t want to ask. He just wanted to let Blaine work his magic - because his hands were magic, even when not giving a traditional massage - and enjoy it, because he knew Blaine had enough experience before him to know what he was doing, because Kurt trusted him, because right now what he wanted most was to let go and let Blaine catch him and hold him up.
Besides, the way Blaine’s thumb was rubbing against his rim, slippery quick and greedy as his breath grew harsher against Kurt’s shoulder, was enough to make Kurt shudder and his eyes roll back in his head.
“God, I want you so much,” Blaine murmured against his skin. His thumb worked at Kurt’s rim as his fingers flexed and searched.
Sparks lit behind Kurt’s eyes, bright and consuming, as Blaine’s fingers found what he was searching for inside him. “Blaine.” Kurt clutched at the pillow, his body throbbing in time with Blaine’s careful movements. He felt lit up like a live wire, electric, the hair on his arms standing on end, just from the perfect press of the pads of Blaine’s fingers against his prostate. He panted into the pillow, his eyes tightly shut, his hips rocking into the motion. God, he could come like this. He had done it before. It would be so simple, just a little more and a light hand on his erection, and he’d be done.
“Blaine,” he said again, half a plea and half a warning. He bit his lower lip and tried not to whimper at how suffused with pleasure every inch of him felt.
“Okay. Okay.” Blaine pressed a firm kiss to Kurt’s shoulder blade and slowly withdrew his fingers. After a moment of fumbling beside Kurt’s hip, they were back where Kurt wanted them, thicker than before with another coated in lube and added with them.
The stretch was a lot, but Kurt wanted a lot. He wanted to feel it. He wanted to give himself over to it. He wanted to give himself over to Blaine, at least in this simple way. He wanted to feel his body give in.
“All right?” Blaine asked him, not settling in against him again but staying pulled back far enough that he could see what he was doing.
Kurt missed the almost claustrophobic press of Blaine’s body against him, but he couldn’t think about that. All he could think about was how Blaine’s fingers were coaxing him open further than he ever had before. All he could think about was how for once it didn’t feel like enough. He turned his face into the pillow and fought against the visceral urge to fuck back onto them until he was satisfied. He knew he wouldn’t be, not today.
“Kurt?” Blaine asked again, his voice less husky and more concerned. His fingers slowed within him.
“Yeah,” Kurt told him. The words were breathless and low, but at least he got them out. “Yeah, I’m all right.”
Kurt nodded against the pillow, his hips twitching at Blaine’s next thrust. “Yeah. I think I’m ready.”
A low, guttural groan came from Blaine’s throat, and he twisted his fingers in a way that made Kurt gasp. “I don’t want to hurt you,” Blaine said, but he was already withdrawing his hand, groaning again as he pulled free and slid his thumb over Kurt’s hole before pushing it in again. It went in readily, and Kurt’s skin tightened and tingled like every nerve in his body awoke at Blaine’s touch, at that quiet promise of what was going to come next.
“You won’t,” Kurt promised.
“Sometime,” Blaine said, kissing down Kurt’s arm, “not now because - but sometime I want to finger you until you come. Really finger you, not just go for your prostate while I blow you. I want to make you fall apart. I want to watch you as I do it.”
Sometimes it was hard for Kurt to reconcile the sweet boy who brought him flowers and carried his tray to the drop-off at the end of a meal in the cafeteria with the dirty-talking man who had enough experience with sex that he wasn’t embarrassed to say things like that. Sometimes it was hard for him to keep up, because if he didn’t mind asking for what he wanted he wasn’t always certain what to want from him besides the amorphous everything that pulsed in every beat of his heart.
But right now, at least, that wasn’t a problem. “Yes,” he said, picturing himself pushing himself onto Blaine’s fingers again and again, nothing else touching him but his fingers inside. “God, Blaine.”
“But not now,” Blaine told him. He kissed Kurt’s shoulder, hovering there for a moment. “Right?”
Turning his head and letting his eyes drift open, Kurt looked into Blaine’s flushed, hopeful face. “Not now,” he agreed, smiling at him.
With a smile of his own, Blaine surged up to kiss him, happy and forceful, all tongue and shared breath and need.
“How do you want to do this?” Blaine asked him, smoothing his hand down Kurt’s back and over his hip when he pulled away with one last panting moan.
Kurt loved eye contact when he was fucking Blaine. He loved watching Blaine react. He loved feeling Blaine wrapped around him, being caught in Blaine’s arms, wrapped in his legs, held safe and close. And yet, he realized, part of what he was wanting was the exact same feeling right now, and he wouldn’t get it if he turned over onto his back. He’d feel vulnerable and exposed, not uncomfortably so, not with Blaine, but instead of being wrapped up in Blaine Kurt would be the one holding him.
He wanted to feel surrounded and held, close, cared for. He wanted to feel all of Blaine’s very male strength around him. He wanted Blaine all around him, in him, not watching him but giving it all to him.
“I like you like this,” he said, staying on his side, taking Blaine’s hand and gently tugging it to his stomach to draw Blaine close behind him again.
“Well.” Blaine kissed Kurt’s shoulder, then the hinge of his jaw, pressing his hand flat over Kurt’s stomach. He smiled, his eyes dark but gentle. “Then stay just like this.”
“I can straighten out if you want - “ Kurt began, but before he could roll fully onto his stomach Blaine kept him where he was, still part-way on his side.
Blaine nudged Kurt’s upper leg forward a little, exposing him that much more, and said, “Perfect.” He knelt back, and Kurt tamped down an unwelcome flutter of nerves as he heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper and the lewd squelch of lubricant on latex, sounds that shouldn’t have been arousing but absolutely were, because they meant sex and Blaine.
“Okay,” Blaine said, settling back behind him, his body more on top of Kurt’s and his leg thrown over both thighs this time. His slippery erection skidded along Kurt’s crack, and Blaine groaned again, pressing his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder blade. “I’m just going to - “ He tucked one arm under Kurt, gathering him close, and then reached down and took himself in hand, trailing his cock down toward Kurt’s opening, the too-smooth texture of the condom unfamiliar against Kurt’s skin there.
Kurt was used to the hard, velvety press of Blaine’s cock against him as they moved together, the tease of pre-come slicking the way. By now, he was used to its heat, like a brand against his body, in his hand, in his mouth.
It had been months since he’d felt the extra bit of material sliding at the tip or the feeling of latex instead of skin, slipping in a way skin never did. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it made his brain pause for a split-second at the sensation, not just Blaine but something else, foreign where he wasn’t used to feeling anything but Blaine.
And then Kurt’s brain stopped altogether, because that condom-clad head was nudging up against him, nudging in, and Blaine wrapped his strong arm around Kurt’s stomach, buried his face against Kurt’s spine, and just pushed himself inside.
Kurt gasped as all of the air was driven out of his chest with Blaine’s smooth, careful thrust. He didn’t know how to feel anything but the thick press of Blaine’s erection, so impossibly big inside him he couldn’t even think. Blaine felt huge, like a force of nature, gently, slowly sliding into him, bit by bit, hitching his hips and getting further with each little thrust as Kurt’s body gave way and allowed it.
Grinding his face into the pillow, Kurt kept still and let it happen, let himself have what he needed, let Blaine give it to him. He let himself take it, want it, feel the utter maleness in the iron band of Blaine’s arms around him, the toned strength of Blaine’s body pressing him halfway into the mattress, and the hot thickness of his cock working its way into him.
God, it was happening. Blaine was inside him, fucking him. It was really happening. This thing he’d thought about for so long, this thing he wasn’t sure he’d ever want to allow, this thing he secretly thought he might love... it was happening. And it was good, his whole body holding itself still and asking for more.
Blaine withdrew a little and thrust again, pushing in a little more easily each time.
Kurt felt cracked open by the moment, not physically, not in a bad way, but just open - his body, his heart - with Blaine inside, and he was glad for Blaine’s arms around him, holding them together.
“Kurt,” Blaine said, sounding almost pained as his hips snugged tight against Kurt’s ass and stopped. “Oh, god. I didn’t - God.” His hands tightened on Kurt’s skin, like he was afraid somehow he was going to go away.
Kurt breathed raggedly against the damp fabric of the pillow beneath his head, his hair in his eyes, and clung to Blaine’s arm around him. It was a lot to adjust to, so many new sensations at once, but there was nothing bad about it at all. Not that he thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad to have Blaine’s weight half on him, to have Blaine’s cock deep in him, to have Blaine everywhere. It was right. It was amazing.
He squeezed carefully around Blaine’s cock, shivering up to the top of his head with how solid and real he felt, and smiled to himself. It was even better than he’d thought it would be.
“Are you okay?” Blaine asked. He reached up to push Kurt’s bangs off of his forehead with a shaking hand. “Kurt?”
With a laugh that made him clench around Blaine and then groan, Kurt said, “I’m only not going to be okay if you don’t hurry up and fuck me.”
Blaine laughed, too, a little more helplessly. “That was a lot of negatives to try to follow right now,” he said. He withdrew a little, then adjusted the set of his legs against Kurt’s, like he wanted better leverage. “But I’m just going to go with fucking you.”
“Excellent choice,” Kurt told him, rocking his hips back a little, and - oh! - that was good, that motion, feeling the drag of Blaine’s cock against his rim and deep inside him. He arched himself back a little, trying to get more, and the next thrust was even better, making him feel shivery and alive.
Oh, yes, that was really an excellent choice, he thought with a laugh.
Blaine gently bit a series of kisses across Kurt’s shoulder as he began to move, pulling out and pushing back in, stretching Kurt with each thrust. He was gentle and slow but persistent, like the waves rolling in, and Kurt widened his own legs, his thighs skidding against Blaine’s sweaty skin where he was laid out above him, and sunk into the rhythm.
They were well-matched in this as in everything, he thought almost giddily. Blaine fit against him so well - in him, too - not overpowering him but still pressing him down into the mattress, solid and firm. If he was going to be fucked, he wanted to feel it, and he did, fuck, he really did, the strength of Blaine’s arms holding him tight, the determination of his legs keeping him in place, the steely pressure of Blaine’s erection pushing into him again and again, working him loose. And Kurt did feel loose, just right, ready.
“Fuck,” Blaine murmured, barely intelligible. He mouthed at the juncture of Kurt’s throat and shoulder, his hips snapping a little faster. “Is this okay? You’ll tell me, right?”
“Can’t you - ah - “ Something about the angle changed, making Kurt’s skin light up again. “I’ll tell you, but - “ He curled his fingers around Blaine’s arm, working himself back on him with sharp twists of his hips, heat coiling up his spine at the sensation. “God, Blaine, trust me.”
Blaine stilled then, just for a moment, hugging him tightly, and Kurt held him back as best he could. And then Blaine pushed into him again, hard and perfect, and tore a grunt of satisfaction from Kurt’s throat.
“You feel amazing,” Blaine said, rolling them a little so Kurt’s chest was flatter against the mattress. Kurt’s erection had softened some, but the pressure of the pillow against it made his head spin dizzily with each thrust.
“You, too,” Kurt replied. He twisted a bit, trying to get flat instead of stuck with his arm trapped beneath him, and Blaine tucked himself more fully between his legs, his hands curling approvingly over Kurt’s ass and pulling him apart again.
Blaine’s breath punched out of him against the nape of Kurt’s neck as his next thrust seated him that much deeper. He did it again, and again, fucking in in a hard, sinuous roll of his body.
“Oh,” Kurt said, his body warming even more. Everything in him tightened and sharpened, wanting more of it. He got his elbows under him, just to get some better leverage. He pushed back in a smoother glide, gasping at the drag of Blaine’s cock in him, solid and hot and deep enough he could almost taste it. “That’s good.”
“Yeah.” Blaine pulled up a bit, running his hand down Kurt’s back to curve over his hip while the other was planted firmly beside Kurt’s shoulder. He pulled out and sank back in, smoother, harder, and he readjusted on his knees, getting them wider between Kurt’s spread thighs.
“Yes,” Kurt said into the small, shadowed space beneath his head, more to himself than anything, because this was what he wanted. The time for a close embrace was over. This what was he needed, this give and take, this powerful joining of their bodies, this dance that the two of them could do so perfectly together. He pushed up backwards onto his knees like an offering, his head hanging low, and Blaine groaned again, louder and lower.
“That’s so hot,” Blaine told him, gripping both of Kurt’s hips with tight, sweat-slick fingers and riding into him again and again. “Fuck, Kurt, you’re perfect.”
Kurt’s stomach twisted with need and his cock throbbed, that electricity sparking through him again. He rocked back onto him, fucking himself as much as Blaine was fucking him. Blaine was the one who was perfect, fitting so neatly against him, driving so sweetly into him, making Kurt’s fingers knot the bedspread and his body buzz with each slap of their bodies together. It was so primal, so male. It was like a new duet, a new heartbeat, a new rhythm between them, one that Kurt was sure made them both feel like they were flying.
It was just sex, Kurt dazedly reminded himself, just a new position; he didn’t want to get romantic about it, except it was Blaine, and Kurt was a romantic, and god, it was like being split apart and forced open but with love and care. He was being filled by Blaine in more ways than just the physical, every caress, every murmur, every kiss, and every deep joining of their bodies driving him wild but going to his heart, too.
Blaine’s grunts were getting louder, his movements sharper, everything between them focusing into a perfect rhythm. Blaine’s body was burning hot and sweaty between Kurt’s legs, against his ass, so close and hot and gloriously there, where Kurt wanted him to be, holding Kurt where Blaine wanted him to be.
Kurt bit his lip, his eyes squeezed shut. It felt really good, so good, and it mattered, and it was about them, and it was everything he wanted, and it was really, really fucking hot, and - “Harder, come on, I want to feel you,” Kurt told him.
Blaine’s next thrust was hard enough that Kurt’s breath snagged in his throat, and he let it out with a hoarse laugh, catching the rhythm and swaying back into him, the powerful flex of Blaine’s thighs and stomach and the slick glide of Blaine’s cock sending shivers across his skin.
“Like that?” Blaine asked, not slowing at all, just giving it to him, giving himself to him, bending over him and fucking into him and loving him.
“Yeah,” Kurt said, squeezing his eyes shut at the power in Blaine’s body and giving it all back. The tension in his belly began to coil and twist, pulling tight and pushing him faster, making him frantic and forceful in return, unable to stop himself. He needed this. He needed more. He just needed.
“I’m not - I don’t know how long I can - “ Blaine stammered out in warning. HIs fingers dug deep into Kurt’s hips, the hair on his thighs scratching against Kurt’s skin, his hips working hard against Kurt’s ass. He was perfect. He felt perfect, strong and hard and firm and careful and not careful at all.
“It’s okay,” Kurt told him. He shifted his weight, trying to get a hand free. “You don’t need to - “
Blaine snaked a hand under him first, and together they wrapped their fingers around Kurt’s aching cock, stroking it together fast and hard, driving him right toward the edge.
Kurt cried out as the first crackling warnings of his orgasm started to build, fire burning under his skin and centering low in his gut. He rolled his hips faster, deeper, fucking back onto Blaine and then into his fist. It was a constant circuit of pleasure, of pressure and touch and that slick, thick glide of Blaine inside him. Kurt shook with desperation, gasping for air. He didn’t want it to be over, but it had to be, because he couldn’t keep feeling this good without letting go. He just couldn’t.
“Fuck,” Blaine said, his hips stuttering and his hand tightening around Kurt’s cock, so quick, so perfect. “You’re - You’re really - ”
“Just keep - “ Kurt jerked in Blaine’s grasp as the spring in him snapped and pleasure crashed through him. His erection throbbed, stealing his voice, and he rode back onto Blaine’s cock as he started to come, wanting him deep, wanting something.
Blaine ground out his name and bent forward, groaning, making Kurt quake with pleasure as Blaine’s own orgasm crashed over him in a series of short, rough thrusts into Kurt’s body. Kurt curled forward, shaking and gasping, as every movement of Blaine’s made his already sensitive body feel that much more, that much better, that much more connected and wanted, until all he could do was fall behind the white light behind his eyes and feel it.
His forehead against Kurt’s back, Blaine was still grinding slowly deep in him, his breath harsh and fast, when Kurt managed to open his eyes again. The soft, gentle press of Blaine’s body into his made him shiver, goosebumps rising on his skin from the overstimulation.
What had been a blissful stretch of his body now felt a little weird and slippery. What had felt like a perfect connection now felt a little awkward.
And yet, as Blaine’s lips traced his spine in an imprecise caress and his hips rocked in tiny circles, Kurt didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.
As his body shuddered yet again, letting out another small quiver of delight, Kurt smiled to himself, more satisfied than he’d imagined was possible. His body felt weak with the best kind of exhaustion. His heart felt full with triumph. It had been everything he wanted. It had been perfect.
Blaine’s next exhalation was rougher, almost a laugh, and he slid his hand over Kurt’s hip as he slowly pulled out of his body.
It was an odd feeling, being suddenly empty when he’d just been full, and Kurt’s stomach roiled a bit at the vulnerability of the sensation. He took advantage of Blaine disposing of the condom to sink down onto the mattress instead of keeping his ass up in the air. His mouth curled into a moue of distaste as he found the wet spot beneath him and yanked the pillow out from under his hips, tossing it to the floor before all but collapsing down flat.
He curled his arms up to pillow his head and let himself feel it all, the noodley contentment of his muscles, the sudden strange awareness he had of his ass, the definitiveness of this moment where he had crossed a Rubicon, had crossed another first off of his life list.
It was new but not bad, not at all, not a thing he could regret. Not with Blaine there with him.
“Hey,” Blaine said, sliding back in against him on the narrow mattress and snuggling close. His arm hooked over Kurt’s waist, his leg curled over Kurt’s thigh. “You okay?”
Kurt somehow found the energy in his body to turn his head so that he could meet Blaine’s eyes. They were filled with concern but also with love, and Kurt smiled easily into them, because okay hardly covered how good he felt. “I’m fine. You?”
Blaine let out a soft laugh, letting his fingers drift up Kurt’s back. “Kurt, that was amazing. You were amazing.”
“You did all the work,” Kurt replied, a little shy about it being true now that it was over and his body was back to being his own. He was used to being bossier, pushier, more in control. He hadn’t needed to be, but he couldn’t help but think maybe Blaine would have preferred it if he had been.
“Are you kidding?” Blaine pressed in against him and gave him a quick, happy kiss, pulling Kurt closer. He settled back down on the pillow, on his side with his chest tucked against Kurt’s arm. “You were incredible. I thought I was going to come just from fingering you. And then I thought I was going to come as soon as I got inside you. That was all you. The sounds you were making, the way your body moves... You were so responsive. It was amazing, Kurt.” His eyes went even more liquid and deep, all sincerity and love. “Thank you.”
Kurt shook his head a little, feeling his cheeks heat against his will. He told himself there was no reason for him to be flustered by the compliments, even if it had been something new that he could have been bad at. “You don’t have to thank me for liking how you touch me.”
Blaine’s smile twisted, and he looked down at Kurt’s shoulder.
“Just like I don’t have to thank you for giving me exactly what I wanted,” Kurt continued, a tiny hint of worry creeping into his mind at Blaine’s response.
“Did I?” Blaine asked, his eyes flashing in surprise and maybe a bit of wonderment up to Kurt’s face.
“Blaine,” Kurt said gently, because he hated that Blaine could have any doubts about what they’d just shared. He reached out with his foot until he could curl it over Blaine’s, and he took a steadying breath, trying to find a way to express how he was feeling. There had to be a way for him to put the enjoyment, the contentment, and the bone-deep sense of sureness into words. “This was perfect. I wouldn’t change anything.” He stroked his toes over Blaine’s foot. “I could not have had a better first time. I’m so glad - so, so glad - it was with you.”
Blaine’s face melted, going soft and touched, and he pressed a kiss to Kurt’s shoulder. “Really?” The word was barely audible and still strangely subdued, but Kurt could feel it against his skin.
“Really,” Kurt assured him. “You know I hadn’t felt comfortable thinking about doing it before you, and I was right to wait. I was right not to want to do that with just anyone. I can trust you. I can let go with you.” He waited until Blaine looked up again him again. “I love you. You could not have been more careful. You could not have made me feel any more incredible than I did and do. You were sweet, and you were ridiculously hot. When I say this was perfect, I mean it.”
If Blaine’s eyes went watery, his smile stayed steady. “I’m glad. It was perfect for me, too.” He kissed Kurt’s shoulder again, not dropping his gaze.
Kurt stretched his legs, curling his toes and feeling the delicious post-orgasmic relaxation seeping through every muscle. He still felt stretched in odd places, but he felt good, like he’d worked hard and done it right. He felt satisfied. He felt safe in Blaine’s arms, safe to have his heart wide open, knowing he wouldn’t be rejected or hurt, knowing he didn’t have to leave.
He felt that contentment to his core, knowing that as simple as the act was - as small of a step as a part of him thought he should feel it was in terms of sex, not when he’d done so much else with Blaine and other people, not when he’d so casually topped for the first time - it wasn’t fucking but making love, and that made all the difference. But then, having sex with Blaine had always been making love, even when they hadn’t known each other beyond moves on a dance floor.
This time, though, there was no risk of misunderstanding. There was no risk of rejection. He could stay here as long as he wanted, and when he left his heart would still be held with care in Blaine’s hands.
It had been right for him to wait, if not just because losing that much control with a relative stranger would have been hard for him but because letting his barriers down with Blaine in this way made it so, so, so much better than it could ever have been with someone who would have made him guard his heart.
He’d really liked being fucked, he was maybe a little surprised to find, but he had to be glad he’d held back until it was Blaine he did it with. He’d given away almost all of his firsts to people he didn’t care about; he knew now they were so much better when it was with someone he did. He got so much more out of it not having to hold back at all. It had felt so much better, easier, uncomplicated by worries of how he’d be misjudged. It had just been wonderful.
And yet, even as his body was coaxing him toward a nap beside Blaine in this cramped little dorm bed in the middle of a sunny afternoon, that little worry that had sprung up about Blaine’s subdued reactions wasn’t going away.
Kurt slowly opened his eyes to take in Blaine’s soft, thoughtful face, so close to his.
Blaine looked happy, and Kurt certainly wasn’t worried that Blaine hadn’t enjoyed himself. He couldn’t have faked his enthusiasm, even if he’d wanted to. It might have been a first for them, but Kurt knew they’d hit it out of the park.
But, he also knew, as much as he didn’t want to think about it, that it wasn’t actually a first for Blaine.
There was something going on. There was history. There was a story.
“What’s going on?” Kurt asked him softly, tipping his head so that their foreheads were touching. “Don’t tell me you had performance anxiety.”
“Not really,” Blaine said with a self-conscious laugh. “Maybe I should have, it’s been so long, but I was too turned on by you to think about it.”
“Then why are you so worried? I can see your brain spinning.”
Blaine hesitated, just for a moment. “I just wanted to be sure that it was okay,” he replied. His eyes skittered away again, his fingers stilling on Kurt’s back for the span of a breath before resuming their sweeping caresses. “That you’re okay.”
“I’m much better than okay,” Kurt told him. “You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Okay.” Blaine’s mouth compressed again into an odd line, not entirely unhappy but... not right, somehow. Kurt couldn’t read his mind, but he certainly knew him well enough to know that much.
Kurt shifted his weight so that he could free one of his arms from under his head, and he curled it over Blaine’s warm side. “What’s going on?” he asked, sighing out a little just at touching his bare back.
Blaine’s smile righted itself, but Kurt could tell from the sharp breath that he took that the choice of expression was out of self-consciousness more than comfort. “It’s not a big deal.”
Kurt smoothed his hand over Blaine’s shoulder and said, “Then it should be easy to tell me.” He tried not to take Blaine’s reluctance personally. He knew getting Blaine to talk about how he felt could be complicated at best. He knew Blaine would always do his best not to let him down, whether Kurt wanted it or not. Still, a part of him wished he could tell every one of Blaine’s insecurities to fuck off and leave him alone, because Blaine didn’t deserve to be plagued by them.
“I - “ Blaine hesitated, then firmed his jaw and said, “You know I’ve only done this before with Sebastian. Have sex. Intercourse. Either way.”
“I know,” Kurt replied, trying to keep his voice calm and encouraging. He didn’t like the reminder of Sebastian’s influence in Blaine’s life - and the freedoms Blaine allowed him with his body and heart - but he did know.
“He was...” Blaine paused again, like he wasn’t quite sure of what to say or how to say it. “He didn’t want to be fucked often, and definitely not to start. I bottomed first. He’d done it before - fucked people before me, I mean - and he didn’t think it was a big deal. And I didn’t know anything, really, besides what I’d read about on the internet.”
Kurt’s heart began to pound with the desperate need to protect the man he loved, even though the threat was long past. He raised his head from the pillow in concern. “Blaine, did he push you? Did he hurt you?”
“No, no, I wanted it.” Blaine soothed Kurt with a hand on his back, and Kurt slowly lowered his head back to the pillow. “I wanted to try it. But I didn’t know what I was doing, and it was still a big step. I thought I was ready, but... well, he just kind of did it, I guess.” Blaine shrugged his shoulder, like it wasn’t a big deal, like it was okay that his first time wasn’t anything like the closeness and care they’d just experienced together. “He thought I’d keep up.”
“Blaine - “ Kurt began, aching for him, because even though they’d both come to this relationship with pasts that weren’t ideal, he didn’t want any of that for Blaine. He wanted him always to have been loved and cared for, even though it hadn’t always been Kurt touching him.
“No, it was fine,” Blaine insisted. “He didn’t hurt me. I liked it. He got me off before him, even.” He seemed to realize that such intimate details of his time with another man were iffy at best to share, and he grimaced. “Sorry.”
Kurt waved it away with a shake of his head. He didn’t want to think about the specifics, but he loved Blaine. He wanted to hear the story, and if it required details he could try to forget the mental images later.
“It wasn’t bad,” Blaine said. “But it was kind of a lot, and he went fast. I was out of my depth and a little scared. It’s really different at first, before you get used to it, before it starts to feel good, and I just... I didn’t want you to feel any of that.”
“I didn’t,” Kurt promised, curling in a little closer, though there wasn’t much closer he could get, and the contact couldn’t erase how Blaine had felt years before. He felt for the boy he’d been, and for the same reasons Kurt had waited he knew Blaine probably wished in a way that he had, too. Blaine might not have thought of it in those terms, but he didn’t always have his own best interests in mind. He had such a soft, open heart, and Sebastian had never paid attention it the way he should have. “I didn’t feel any of that, and I couldn’t have, because it was you and me. I wasn’t worried at all. I wasn’t scared. I trust you. I knew you’d take care of me.”
“Just like you take care of me when it’s my turn,” Blaine said. He rubbed the tip of his nose against Kurt’s, soft, sweet, and just a touch flirty.
Kurt nodded, and he meant far more than just about sex. “I try to.”
Blaine’s smile lit back up again, genuine and all for him. “You always do. You always make me feel incredible, even the first time we were together.” He cupped Kurt’s cheek and kissed him gently, his heart in the touch. “I wanted to do that for you.”
“You did, Blaine,” Kurt replied with a smile of his own. He couldn’t help the memories that had been brought up for Blaine, but he could at least allay his fears. “You didn’t need to worry about that. I wasn’t.”
“It was important to me,” Blaine said with a little shrug, his arm moving beneath Kurt’s hand.
“I know, and thank you.” Kurt stretched out his own shoulders, feeling so loose and happy. Lethargy was creeping through him again now that he knew what was going on in Blaine’s head. “You’re important to me, too.”
Blaine’s mouth curved up into yet another smile, and his next kiss was longer, lusher, intimate and close. His hand cupped Kurt’s jaw, his tongue caressed Kurt’s, his breath fanned across Kurt’s cheek. “I love you,” he breathed out.
“I love you,” Kurt murmured in reply, touching his forehead to Blaine’s. He could still hear students playing out in the quad, the slam of a door down the hall, but it all felt so far away. This bed, this man, this ease in his heart... the small, perfect place was everything that mattered. It was a gift from Blaine to him, really, such a soft landing after such a hard semester.
Blaine kissed him again, and Kurt happily let himself get lost in it until his lips were tingling and he was struggling for breath at the same time he was pressing in close for more. His heart was too big to be contained in his body; he had to share some of it with Blaine any way he knew how. He wanted to be near him. He wanted to touch every inch of his skin. He wanted to pour his love into this gentle man until the impossible came true and Blaine didn’t have to think about anything that had ever happened with anyone else, because what they had was the only thing that mattered.
But Kurt was also tired, his limbs heavy and sluggish. He knew that as good as it felt to touch Blaine he wasn’t going to be ready for another round any time soon, so with his arms still around Blaine’s body he let himself settle back again, stifling the yawn that threatened to rise.
“You wore me out,” Kurt said with a laugh.
“Mmm,” Blaine agreed with a satisfied grin. “I tried my best.”
Kurt drew in a slow breath and rubbed his cheek against the pillow beneath it. “You did very well. And now you don’t have to be nervous next time.”
Blaine froze for a moment in Kurt’s arms, and his eyes went wide from the other side of the pillow. “Next time?”
“Not maybe next time we’re together,” Kurt said, watching him. “But I’ll want to do that again. Won’t you?”
“Absolutely,” Blaine said immediately. “Definitely. I mean, I don’t want you to think that I haven’t been happy, because I’ve really been happy, Kurt, and I love how it feels when you’re inside me, but if you want to switch I’m very okay with that.”
“I want to do everything with you,” Kurt said softly, honestly. Another yawn threatened to rise in him, and he bit it back. “Although right now I’d really like part of that everything to be a nap, if you have time.”
“Of course I have time,” Blaine told him. “We have all afternoon and all night, right? I just want to spend it with you. I told you that.”
“You did,” Kurt said, feeling the pleasure of that knowledge bubble out of him in yet another smile.
He nudged his forehead against Blaine’s again, resettling his arms around Blaine’s body. He breathed in the smell of Blaine’s shampoo and sweat and laundry detergent, more of their scents mingling together, and let his eyelids droop.
There were things to do. There were always things to do.
Kurt knew if he let himself he could come up with a list of a dozen things that should probably be more important than a nap right now.
But this was the last chance they’d have to be alone so easily for a while, with the long summer in Ohio stretched out ahead of them, and Kurt could see no better plan for this time together than to savor it.
Kurt took another long breath and let it out, filling himself with this moment, this contentment, tucking it away to remember later when he needed it.
“I could get behind the misery of finals period if it always ended this way,” he said softly, barely able to remember how stressed out he’d been even a few hours before with how loved and relaxed he felt now, thanks to Blaine.
Blaine huffed out a soft laugh and said with sleepy ease, “It can.”
It can, Kurt thought to himself in amazement. If they kept being so happy together, it could. It would.
He knew he didn’t need Blaine to make his life easier. He didn’t need Blaine to fix anything for him. He didn’t need Blaine at all. He could do everything on his own. He was strong and independent. He’d already proven that to himself. He’d been proving it for years.
He knew he’d survive whatever came ahead, including the long slog of a summer in a town where no one really approved of who he was beyond the people who lived in his house and even they didn’t really understand him.
But Kurt’s summer wouldn’t just be with them, not this year. He’d have Blaine, too.
Blaine understood him. Blaine saw him. Blaine loved him. Blaine appreciated his strength and was there to help him let go of it sometimes, too.
No, Kurt thought as he stretched out his sex-tired legs and felt pleasure and exhaustion ripple through his body, he could do it alone, but there was no question that his life was so much easier with Blaine in it to love him.
Smiling, he was holding on to that thought as tightly as he was his boyfriend as he drifted into sleep.