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Carnal Desires

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Looking back on that relationship many years later, she was struck by how simply it had started and how fucked up it quickly became.

She wasn't looking for anything specific besides a summer job, something that could help her pay for college. Even part of a semester – it would be enough.

Anything was enough.

She had low standards, perhaps, or maybe she was wandering, desperate.

That was true, as much as she hated to admit it. She had been entirely too distracted, out of sync with the rest of the world.

It led to trouble.

Trouble in the form of a man.

Conell – she still referred to him only by his last name, a habit now –had drawn her in like a magnet that attached itself firmly to her vulnerability.

Once she'd been caught and charmed by this shady character, there was no hope.

She was a mouse staring into the eyes of a python, powerless, immobile.

Conell would hunt his prey well.


"I want this." She sounded so sure of herself. Even if she hadn't, just hearing her say those words would have convinced him.

Sizing her up, he knew she would be more than just an easy lay. That was too shallow a term to describe her.

There was some depth to Emily Lewin, some hidden anguish that he knew would enhance their time together. He'd seen girls like her before. They were so hungry for any kind of company that once they found it, they'd do anything to keep it.

But he'd already had his fill of capitalizing on that weakness. He wouldn't try this with Em.

If she agreed to it – and she had, he realized with a kind of sick delight – there would be casual sex, nothing more and nothing less.

That was his plan.

"You're sure?" He waited anxiously for the final confirmation, hoping that she hadn't completely changed her mind in the last thirty seconds – hadn't come to her senses and decided that she didn't want to have casual sex with a forty-something year old married man, engaging in a relationship that would require great amounts of care and secrecy.

"Yes." There was no hesitation.

Thank God, he thought, admiring her petite, strong figure, the way she moved to sit on his couch, crossing her legs as if she'd suddenly realized how revealing her clothing was. Acid washed denim barely covered the lower half of her body, and her torso was only concealed by some poor excuse for a shirt that was nearly see-through.

Her full breasts were certainly visible through the material.

The anticipation grew inside him, desire suddenly physically manifesting itself. It was growing uncomfortable to just stand there and wait. He was itching, impatient.

And she was teasing him.

Maybe it wasn't intentional on her part, but he wanted her to stop.

Slowly, she moved again, brushing her hair away from her face and taking the few steps needed to come face to face with him.

The kiss was the beginning of the end. There was more teasing, this time with hands and tongue. But it wasn't enough for either lost soul. They both needed more and were giving and receiving it in spades.

It ended with a stain on the couch and a seemingly permanent blush on Em's cheeks. He had spilled hot and wet across her pale belly, branding her.

She was irrevocably tied to him after just one encounter.

There would be many more in her future.

You wanted it, she reminded herself later when doubt and regret took hold.

She would want it for a long time.