Chapter 1: Why Not?
"Why am I here?" Kaneki mutters to himself, sinking lower in his booth seat. Touka and the others had ditched him almost the minute they'd entered the club, and he's been nursing the same drink for over half an hour, by himself in the furthest booth from the dance floor he could find.
He understands that his friends mean well, that they just want to include him and see him loosen up, but he just can't. What would happen if he got drunk and something happened to his friends and he couldn't help them? What if he got sick from drinking? What would happen if he was too drunk to protect himself and he was mugged?
He eyes the drink in his hand miserably. It's just not worth it. With a sigh, he pushes it away and looks dejectedly at his table, waiting for one of his friends to take pity on him so he can be allowed to go home.
"You just gonna sit there by yourself?"
Startled, Kaneki looks up, meeting the eyes of a strange, handsome young man, possibly no older than himself, with dark eyes and blonde, spiky hair.
"Uh, well, I'm not so good at...this kind of stuff," Kaneki replies awkwardly, gesturing vaguely to the dance floor. Unused to strangers talking to him, he sits up, looking around nervously for his friends to save him from social interaction.
The stranger shakes his head.
"That's no good!" He points a finger a Kaneki accusingly, a reproving look on his face.
"You can't come to a club and just stare at your drink all night! I'm getting bored just looking at you."
"AH!" Kaneki jumps when the stranger interrupts him with a loud negative noise, effectively silencing him. "No excuses! Come on!"
And with that, Kaneki's upper arm is grasped in a vice grip, and he's being dragged away from his safe, sober little corner.
"Wait—I don't drink—"
"Sorry," the stranger calls over his shoulder in a sing-song voice, grinning, "I can't hear you over the music." He turns away, never once stopping, and Kaneki glowers as he's reluctantly dragged away. Who does this guy think he is?
They reach the bar, and even though the trip was short, Kaneki had been pressed against far too many people for his tastes. He almost wants a drink just to deal with the stress.
"Hm," his strange escort spun to face him, hand stroking his chin as he considered Kaneki with an appraising gaze, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"You probably never drink, huh?" Kaneki blushes slightly, expecting to be teased, but the other just nods his head sagely.
He spins around and plants his hands on the bar, waving frantically at the bartender.
"Over here! Hurry! My friend needs to get drunk right now!" Kaneki flushes again, looking at his feet while the people around them laugh.
Next to him, his companion grins, clapping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing comfortingly.
"You'll thank me later," he promises with a wink, and Kaneki can only offer a dry look, glancing away to give the people around him a cursory glance, but none of his friends seem to be nearby.
"Here you go!" The stranger thrusts a drink at him and Kaneki reluctantly takes it, looking at it uneasily. It's a shot, completely clear and unassuming and he does. Not. Trust it.
"What is it?" he asks finally after staring for a solid twenty seconds. His companion rolls his eyes.
"Your new best friend: Vodka!" His apparently new friend raises an identical glass, holding it in before him, an expectant look on his face. After a pause, Kaneki raises his own and gently presses it to the other.
"Cheers—uh, what's your name?" Dark eyes flash to his face and Kaneki swallows.
"Kaneki." His companion resumes his grin. Kaneki can't help but feel that he's one of those people who's meant to smile.
"Cheers, Kaneki! To new friends!" He throws back his drink and Kaneki gives him a wry smile before considering his own shot.
He normally never would, but...something about this strange man makes Kaneki want to try something new, just this once.
With a silent prayer that he's not making a huge mistake, Kaneki screws his eyes shut and throws his head back, his first drink with a complete stranger.
"Ah," he breathes, feeling as if every pore in his body is opening up. When he opens his eyes, the other is smiling at him, of course.
"That's nothing." He hands Kaneki another shot. Grimacing, he accepts it.
"Just wait until you try tequila," the stranger winks, grinning devilishly.
Despite himself, Kaneki finds himself returning it with a small smile of his own.
"I'm in your care, then," he murmurs shyly, looking away.
A pause, and Kaneki thinks his face will melt off, and then he's gripped around the shoulders and shaken. Wide eyed, he focuses on not spilling his shot.
"That's the spirit!" His new friend looks so happy Kaneki spends a moment just marveling at the sight. Could he ever look like that?
"We need more drinks!" His friend thunders. With renewed determination, he spins back to the counter, waving frantically once more.
"More?" Kaneki shakes his head before downing his second shot of vodka for the night, shuddering slightly when it's down.
"This one too, Kaneki, this one too!" Another clear shot is shoved in his hand, his empty glass snatched from him.
Giving an exasperated sigh, Kaneki takes the next shot before gasping loudly, eyes screwing shut against the acid he just poured down his throat.
"Oh my God," he gasps out, full body shudders consuming him. He has no idea what he just drank, but he knows that it will kill him.
Meanwhile, his new friend is laughing, one arm around Kaneki's shoulders, the other slapping his knee.
"What was that?!" Kaneki manages.
The other straightens slightly—wiping away a tear or two, Kaneki notices sourly—before he gives Kaneki a definitely evil smirk.
"That was tequila." Before Kaneki can even attempt to respond to that information, he's being led away from the bar.
Any protest he would have had is overtaken by the worrying amount of tilting the room is doing. And his legs feel kind of heavy, but his arms feel really light…
"You are now officially drunk enough to dance," He cheerily informs Kaneki.
"No, no," Kaneki tries to pry the other's hand off his arm while shaking his head, but the movement is suddenly the most entrancing thing he's ever done and he just moves his head back and forth, enjoying the motion.
"Too bad," he hears called back to him.
Kaneki might have been annoyed, but the moment they hit the dance floor, he's too busy focusing on staying upright.
There are so many people and Kaneki does not do crowds if he can avoid it. He tugs back on his arm where his friend is grasping his wrist, but this turns out to be a mistake when he slips from the other's grasp and is instantly swallowed up by the insistent press and surge of the people around him.
Eyes wide, Kaneki tries to call out, but his voice is snatched away with the music. He tries to nudge past the people dancing around him, but the alcohol makes him clumsy, bumping into those nearest to him, and all he receives are dirty looks for his efforts.
He closes his eyes, holding his arms close to his chest. Every time he tries to take a step forward, it seems like he's just getting pushed back and he feels so helpless.
'This is what I get,' he thinks. Kaneki doesn't do things like this. He doesn't drink and dance and make friends easily. Maybe this is his punishment for trying to be something he's not...
"Kaneki!" He feels a tug on his arm and Kaneki looks up, startled, straight into dark, worried eyes.
"Looks like I lost ya there," The stranger grins, scratching his head sheepishly, blond hair going green-red-blue beneath the lights. The smile leaves his face when he notices Kaneki's teary eyes.
Embarrassed, Kaneki ducks his head.
"Sorry," he says, waving a dismissive hand. "I just-I don't like being around all these people," he confesses, barely audible over the music.
"Hey, hey," He slips his hand beneath Kaneki's chin, raising his head. The other has a soft, encouraging smile on his face.
"I'm not going anywhere, Kaneki. Come on," he tugs on Kaneki's arm. "Just dance. Trust me, you'll love it."
Kaneki hesitates. Just having the other man there makes him feel better, but...dancing? He's never really danced before.
"I don't—I mean, I've never—"
"Here," hands seize Kaneki's wrists and raise them high above his head. "Like this."
Surprised, Kaneki looks into his friend's face only to see that same shit-eating grin directed back at him. The other starts moving to the beat, moving Kaneki like a marionette.
After a moment, Kaneki starts giggling.
"We look silly," he says between laughs when his companion gives him a curious look.
"Yup," he quips easily. Then, he throws his head back.
"Who gives a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?!" he screams, several woots of agreement going off all around them.
Laughing uncontrollably, Kaneki moves on his own, drunk in more ways than one.
"Finally," his partner sighs dramatically, his tone not matching his delighted expression. He releases Kaneki's wrists "Let's see what you got!"
Kind of wishing he still had the arms holding him as a crutch, Kaneki nonetheless begins moving his hips and swaying to the beat, feeling the bass reach up from the soles of his feet to the tips of his fingers, the other man's smile illuminated by the chance strobe light gracing his features.
His partner laughs before he feels an arm around his waist, inching him forward.
"You really are hopeless," the young man says with a certain fondness. Kaneki's very close to his chest but they're not quite touching. At this distance, Kaneki's forced to see that while he thought they were the same height, up close the other has a good inch or two on him. "Like this."
The two still swaying, the taller man runs his hands down Kaneki's raised arms to his elbow, bending them slightly.
"Good, good," he murmurs approvingly. "Just bring them a little closer to your body."
Kaneki does as he's told with a smile, amused at the lesson, and the blond matches it with his own.
"Laughing at me, huh? Kids today," he mumbles, spinning Kaneki in a quick, sudden motion, causing him to break out in breathless giggles.
"Well, your technique is all over the place," his companion laments in a disparaging tone. "What are your hips even doing? Do it like this."
Hands settle on his hips and guide him, arresting his jerky movements and turning them into smooth dipping motions that he takes to almost instantly.
Usually, having people in his personal space makes him uncomfortable, but he doesn't want to stop now and when his hips dip low and his whole body seems to meld itself to the guide behind him, his hands still on Kaneki's hips, he just goes with it, feeling way too good.
Apparently, his partner does too because Kaneki feels hot breath on his ear, and the hands on his hips tighten and press him close.
"Fuck, Kaneki," he groans lowly, hot breath ghosting his ear, and Kaneki shivers, lowering his hands to cover the ones on his hips. The blond's voice is deeper, laced with a touch of desperation; it's a sound Kaneki wants to hear again.
A moment later Kaneki's eyes widen. What is he doing? He's acting like some sex-crazed teenager, and he's embarrassing himself.
Turning his head to the side, he absently notes how close he is to his partner's lips. Barely an inch closer, and they could kiss.
Blinking at the thought, Kaneki licks his own lips before forcing himself to look at the other's eyes.
The other man is already looking down at him, pupils blown wide, and Kaneki swallows; has to lick his lips again and try not to melt when the blond follows the motion with a sharp focus a drunk man really shouldn't have.
"Sorry," Kaneki whispers.
Surprisingly, his partner hears him, or at least understands, because he blinks a few times, as if trying to awaken from a daze, before smirking, pressing his hips against Kaneki and earning a quiet gasp for his efforts.
"Don't be," he whispers back, right in his ear and shit that's really hot and he couldn't stop himself from shivering if he tried.
"C'mere," his partner commands lowly, and Kaneki does, his breath coming a little quicker, and tilts his head back just as the blond's lips brush his own and whoa.
Kaneki can taste the alcohol on his breath and his lips are a bit chapped, but God, he knows how to kiss. Kaneki can't focus on anything other than moving his lips against the other's, feeling the blond's tongue trace the seam of his lips before dipping into his mouth, making a sound of satisfaction when he tastes the shorter boy.
They sway and kiss for what feels like a small eternity before Kaneki pulls away slightly, the two of them panting, breath mingling between them as they simply stare at another.
This is...nice. Kaneki is very much drunk, he realizes, because that's about all the protest he can summon at the moment. Even the thought that his friends might have seen him doesn't start the panic attack he'll no doubt experience when he's sober.
The two stop moving, staring, before the other man speaks.
"You wanna get out of here?"
Kaneki, face already flushed, looks down. He may not be a crazed sex-addict, but he knows what that means.
After a moment, he raises his head.
"What's your name?"
The stranger blinks, then grins. "Call me Hide."
"Hide," Kaneki murmurs to himself, testing it out. Then, he slowly turns so that he and Hide are pressed chest to chest. His arms slide up and around Hide's neck, and he feels strong arms wrap around his middle. Before he can stop it, a shy, playful smile steals over his features.
"Let's get out of here, Hide."
Chapter 2: Where The Magic Happens
This chapter...is so long. They just kept kissing.
Nothing too explicit, but I bumped up the rating, just in case. Also, first-time smut, so yeah. If it's cringe-worthy, don't hesitate to comment and let me know.
Thank you for reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Hide! Wait!” Clinging desperately to Hide’s shoulders, Kaneki can only watch in horror as Hide drunkenly carries him out of the club and into the cool night air.
Hide only laughs, jostling the both of them, as he takes less than steady steps towards the curb. Hide’s arms feel a little too loose around him for comfort and Kaneki is mildly worried he’ll die if he falls from this height.
“Don’t worry,” Hide says breezily. “I’m not gonna—fuck.”
They sprawl to the ground in an ungraceful heap, and neither can hold back their groans of pain when they hit the concrete.
Wincing, Kaneki opens his eyes to the night sky and streetlamps, the muffled sound of the club’s music echoing out onto the street. For a moment, Kaneki stares into the darkness, his head and back throbbing with pain.
Hide appears before him, face close and brown eyes wide with worry.
“Damn, sorry about that. You okay?”
Hide looks so concerned that Kaneki can’t help it; he laughs. Hard.
It’s just—he’s never been like this before; drunk and happy and childish. It’s so refreshing and utterly perfect that he can’t believe what he’s been missing.
Hide blinks, stunned, then joins him, lowering his forehead to Kaneki’s as the two abandon themselves to laughing like the deranged drunks they are, lying on the sidewalk outside a club on a Saturday night.
When their laughs finally dwindle down to the occasional giggle, Hide kisses Kaneki, smile still evident on his lips.
“We should probably get up,” Hide murmurs against his lips.
Kaneki, suddenly aware of the fact that they are getting more than a few stares from passersby, goes crimson.
Hide laughs as he pulls him up, threading his hand with Kaneki’s, his other hand trying to wave down a cab.
Kaneki’s eyes go from Hide’s face—smiling, waving exuberantly—to their joined hands, and he can’t stop the tiny, pleased smile that stretches his mouth.
‘This is happening.’
A taxi finally takes pity on the two boys and pulls up, and Hide gives and exultant shout. He practically leaps inside and drags Kaneki with him, all the while shouting, “Time to get laaaaaaaaid!”
Blushing like mad and scrambling to close the door, Kaneki casts a self-conscious glance to the driver just in time to catch the tail end of an eye-roll before Hide obstructs his view, leaning forward to tell the driver where to go.
When the car pulls away, Kaneki suddenly feels nervous. He’s blindly following a stranger that he’d met that night to his home.
This is stupid, right? This definitely has to be a mistake. He’s not particularly attractive or clever, and who’s to say this isn’t some kind of trap? Sure, his friends do things like this all the time, but he’s not them.
The brush of fingers against his cheek breaks Kaneki’s train of thought and he starts. Hide’s watching him, a gentle look on his face.
“I can drop you off at home if you want,” he offers. Kaneki’s eyes widen at the words, and Hide nods. “Seriously, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
He leans in and kisses Kaneki, just a quick one, and when he leans back slightly, he looks determined.
“But you have to give me your number, because if I don’t get to see that ass again, I might cry.”
Kaneki gives a breathless laugh, his earlier concerns washing away in the tide of Hide’s kindness, and he shakes his head.
“I’m fine,” Kaneki mumbles, cheeks reddening. Then, he lets out a little sigh and leans forward, catching sight of Hide’s wide eyes just before his lips brush the blond’s, a whisper of touch.
His face feels like it’s on fire, but, luckily, he only has to stew in his embarrassment for a single second before Hide is groaning against his lips, surging forward and deepening the contact.
Kaneki gasps and Hide’s tongue delves inside, brushing against his own. A moan of pleasure escapes him seconds later and he slides his arms around Hide’s shoulders, bringing them chest to chest. Hide’s arms are already around him, holding him so close he can feel each breath the blond takes and the mad beating of his heartbeat, racing as fast as his own.
Everything is suddenly hot and urgent, probing tongues and roaming hands, and Kaneki never wants to stop, intoxicated completely with the feel of this strange, wonderful man.
When they finally separate, panting, the very air feels charged. Hide’s hair is slightly mussed and he’s watching Kaneki with dark, heated eyes. He’s completely crowding Kaneki’s space so that all Kaneki can see—feel—is him and the cool glass of the window behind him.
Gone is the laughing, stumbling boy that carried him earlier; the look Hide is giving him now is anything but playful. He’s looking at Kaneki like he’s found a delicious piece of meat, tantalizingly laid out before him, and he licks his lips in a slow, undeniably sensual motion. He looks like he wants to devour him.
‘This man is dangerous,’ is the thought that suddenly hits him. It’s the first time Kaneki’s thought anything negative about Hide, yet this one thought has him biting back a moan, swallowing hard.
As if wanting to prove Kaneki’s stray thought right, Hide leans back in, and Kaneki rises to meet him—
“Are you two lovebirds planning on staying there all night?”
With a start, the two look up to the taxi driver, completely jarred by the reminder of the outside world. That’s when it becomes apparent the car has stopped, and possibly for some time.
The sound of a lighter and a cigarette being lit echoes in their silence, and after the driver takes his first drag, he shrugs.
“You can do whatever you want, but I charge double by the hour.”
Kaneki doesn’t think he’s been quite this embarrassed in his entire life. Blushing furiously, Kaneki covers his face with his hands while Hide laughs above him.
“Sorry, sorry,” the blond apologizes brightly.
Sitting up with one arm pulling Kaneki upright, Hide fishes out a couple of bills and thrusts them at the driver. Or, at least, that’s what Kaneki hears. He doesn’t plan on uncovering his face until the shame of making out with a guy he met at a club in the back of a cab fades completely from his memory. Or he dies. Whichever comes first.
“Kaneki, come on!” Hide shakes him hard enough that he’s forced to uncover his face, and he scrambles to open the door. Why Hide can’t use the door on his own side is beyond him.
The outside air feels like heaven to his flushed skin and he takes a moment to try to return to his senses, to start acting at least a little like his old, sensible self, but the alcohol makes it difficult.
Looking around, Kaneki sees their stop is a small apartment complex, three stories high with brick walls and ivy creeping up the side of the building. It’s very old-fashioned. Kaneki loves it.
He turns to tell this to Hide, but to Kaneki’s utter horror, he’s shaking hands with the cabbie, laughing. He even waves goodbye when the taxi pulls away, and Kaneki resumes covering his face, this time shaking his head in disbelief. This is the man he chose to go home with.
“Aw.” Hide steps to Kaneki and moves his hands from his face. Still red, Kaneki stubbornly looks at the ground. Hide chuckles.
“You’re embarrassed,” he notes with fondness. He pushes back Kaneki’s bangs and kisses his forehead, chuckling. “That’s cute.”
He bring his arm’s around the shorter boy, joining his hands at the small of his back and pressing him close, still chuckling like a jerk. Irritated by how much enjoyment Hide’s taking from his discomfort, Kaneki gives an exasperated sigh.
“Shut up,” he orders, tilting forward slightly to kiss the other.
It’s supposed to be a quick peck to shut him up, but Hide’s prepared this time and he immediately deepens it, running one hand up Kaneki’s back to the nape of his neck and anchoring it in his black hair, his other arm like a steel bar holding the shorter boy flush against the blond’s body.
“Oh.” Caught off guard, Kaneki can only hold on to Hide and kiss him back, feeling more than hearing the other boy humming in pleasure when their tongues roll together.
Hide pulls back after a moment, but Kaneki is mistaken when he thinks they’re done. Hide drags his mouth from Kaneki’s lips to his jaw, kissing up it until he reached the hollow below his ear.
“Ah,” Kaneki screws his eyes shut, bringing his fist to his mouth in an attempt to stifle the noises his traitorous body is making, but Hide makes it difficult. And when he kisses down to Kaneki’s neck and bites, he cries out and his hip lurch forward, causing Hide to break off with a stuttered moan of his own.
The sound makes Kaneki’s heart pound in his chest and warmth flood his face. Hide begins attacking his neck with a passion, biting and sucking, an iron grip on his hip, and it takes several tries and every ounce of focus he has to lean back, panting.
“We—” Hide’s lips press against his own and he moans against him. After a moment, Kaneki presses his palm against his chest, pushing lightly but insistently.
Surprisingly, Hide stops almost immediately, giving Kaneki barely an inch of space, looking down at him with desire blazing bright in his dark eyes.
“We should go inside,” Kaneki whispers, flushed and sounding entirely too needy for his own comfort.
“Mm,” Hide closes the distance between them, pressing their lips together before sucking on his bottom lip, biting and nipping.
Kaneki’s breath hitches and he positively melts against the blond. They really should get inside, but one more kiss couldn’t hurt, surely?
“Damn,” Hide swears, the two breaking apart. He looks at Kaneki and shakes his head, smiling. “All right, let’s go,” he sighs with a much put-upon expression, leading Kaneki to his apartment with his hand held firmly.
Opening the front door of the building, Hide leads him up a short flight of stairs to a mahogany door labeled with the number 12A.
“It’s kind of messy,” Hide warns as he fishes out his keys, releasing Kaneki’s hand.
Kaneki tries to envision what kind of home Hide would have. He immediately pictures a complete pigsty, lived-in and warm, and he tries to contain a smirk.
“Welcome to my home,” Hide gestures grandly, arms sweeping in a wide arch as his door swings open.
Giggling (Kaneki doesn’t giggle. He’s definitely drunk.), Kaneki steps inside and gives the apartment a curious once-over. It’s small, the living room and kitchen separated by a wall with a built-in bar, and a nondescript hallway leading to what can only be the bathroom and bedroom. There’s textbooks and papers covering the coffee table in the living room, with random articles of clothes and food wrappers sprinkled throughout.
It’s not immaculate, but Kaneki’s seen worse. His eyes stray to the doors in the hallway and he feels shy once more. The thought of the blond’s bedroom makes Kaneki’s heart rate pick up pace, but he turns when he hears the door shut, a smile on his face.
“It’s not that—”
Hide’s arms crush him against his body and his tongue is in his mouth all in an instant, and Kaneki’s barely kissed Hide back before his hands run from his back to his butt, grabbing him and shoving their hips together in a swift, feral motion.
“Oh-aah!” It’s clear that Hide’s been holding back, not surrendering an inch of Kaneki’s space and practically devouring his every moan.
Hide slips one hand beneath his shirt, the other still squeezing, and the feel of the blond’s hand on his bare skin, combined with the one on his ass and the assault on his lips, transforms Kaneki into a trembling, moaning wreck.
Hide breaks their kiss, lips wet, and moves to Kaneki’s neck where he bites down so hard that Kaneki jerks and cries out loud enough that he flushes his brightest so far.
“Hide,” his voice is a whimpering, desperate sound as he tangles one hand in Hide’s shirt, fisting a handful of blond spikes with the other.
“Yeah,” Hide grunts, passing his tongue over the bite mark.
That grunt and the feel of Hide’s tongue destroys what semblance of control he’d had over his body, and his legs buckle.
Hide simply takes it in stride, sinking with him to the carpet. When Kaneki’s back hits the floor, Hide’s elbows rest on either side of his head, and he pauses long enough to take in Kaneki’s flushed skin, kiss-swollen lips, the marks on his neck, before kissing him slowly, twining his tongue with the other’s in deep, exploring strokes.
Kaneki’s not quite sure which is worse, the feverish passion from before, or this sensual intimacy. Either way he’s left a panting, quivering mess, fists tangled in Hide’s shirt and bringing him as close to his body as possible.
Hide’s hand moves from the side of his head to his hip, sliding between his thighs and nudging his legs apart. Kaneki quickly complies, spreading his legs, and when their hips align they both let out groans of pleasure.
“Shit,” Hide sighs against his mouth, and Kaneki nods his head in agreement, licking his lips. Hide seems entranced by the sight until he forcefully tears himself away from it to meet Kaneki’s eyes, cupping his cheek.
“You okay?” Hide murmurs, his gaze a mix of lust and concern.
Kaneki smiles, nodding. “Yeah.”
Hide grins in response, stroking his cheek with his thumb.
“Good,” he murmurs, eyes already darting to his lips as he leans closer. Kaneki’s heart thumps against his chest and his eyes slide shut—
The insistent ringing of a cell phone shatters the silence and they both freeze, staring at one another before Kaneki sits up, cheeks burning, forcing Hide to do the same.
“S-sorry,” he stammers, pulling the phone out of his pocket.
On the screen Touka’s name glares back at him, and he realizes he never told his friends he left. The thought makes Kaneki wince, and he can practically hear Touka’s lecture already.
Kaneki moves his thumb to answer his phone, resigned to his punishment, when it’s plucked away.
Startled, he looks straight into Hide’s brown eyes, who looks decidedly indignant.
“Don’t even think about it,” he cuts off warningly. He tosses the phone onto the couch in the living room, and Kaneki makes a disparaging sound, reaching for it.
“Nope.” Hide surges forward, crushing his lips to Kaneki’s and kissing him soundly. “Worry about it tomorrow,” he coaxes, biting at his lip.
The little voice in the back of his head that tells him ignoring phone calls is rude is getting quieter and quieter by the second, pushed back mercilessly with each touch of Hide’s lips until he finds himself agreeing, breathing his assent against Hide’s insistent caresses.
Kaneki can feel Hide’s triumphant smile against his lips and he wants to be irritated, but Hide’s hands keep distracting him.
Hide rocks back, taking the headphones from around his neck and tossing it and his music player across the room. Whether or not it lands safely seems to be his least concern, as he rubs his hands together to wipe away imaginary dust.
“All right,” he announces, looking satisfied. “Now that’s taken care of, let’s go while I still remember I have a bed.” Hide rises to his feet, pulling Kaneki up and tugging him towards the hallway.
‘To his bedroom,’ Kaneki thinks, heart suddenly pounding.
Hide pushes open the door, but before Kaneki can so much as glance around, Hide spins, ducking down and throwing Kaneki over his shoulder.
“Ah!” Kaneki reflexively grabs onto the back of Hide’s shirt, vision going upside-down and trying to stop everything from spinning.
“Hide!” The blond only laughs, patting Kaneki lightly on his butt before dumping him onto his bed, crawling after him in an instant.
“You can’t—” his protests are silenced by Hide’s lips and, wryly, Kaneki thinks, ‘One day, this won’t work on me.’
Kaneki wraps his arms around Hide’s shoulders just as the blond settles between his legs, the other’s arms going up and under Kaneki’s shirt, running his hands over the flushed, smooth skin.
Wanting to do some exploring of his own, Kaneki’s hands run down Hide’s back, slipping under his shirt and scraping his blunt fingernail against the skin there.
“Kaneki,” his name is practically a growl from the blond, and Kaneki watches as Hide throws his head back, clearly enjoying the feeling. Kaneki repeats the motion, starting from the back of his shoulders to the small of his back, scraping lightly, and Hide groans, eyes screwed shut, before his they abruptly fly open, blazing.
Without warning, Hide seizes Kaneki’s ass again and thrusts against him, this time making the both of them cry out in pleasure.
Hide rocks his hips and Kaneki can feel the blond’s hardness rubbing against his own with each press. The feeling is intoxicating and terrible all at once and Kaneki cries out in frustration and pleasure even as he raises his hips to meet each thrust.
Hide’s hands intertwine with Kaneki’s as they move in synch, kissing roughly, and Kaneki tastes sweat and alcohol with each pass of his tongue.
A particularly hard thrust has Kaneki breaking the kiss, gasping for air, and Hide’s mouth trails hot, open-mouthed kisses to his jawline and going steadily higher. When Hide’s tongue trails the shell of his ear, Kaneki’s breath stutters in his chest.
“I wanna feel you,” Hide breathes against his ear. For a moment, Kaneki is confused—What have they been doing this whole time?—but then Hide’s fingers dip beneath the waistband of his jeans and oh.
Belatedly, he understands that Hide’s asking permission and that somehow makes him even hotter. Swallowing, he nods his head.
“Please,” he begs in a tremulous whisper, positively aching for Hide’s touch.
His plea makes Hide groan, his hot breath ghosting over his ear, and then the blond’s hand is plunging into his pants, his other hand fisting the hair at the back of Kaneki’s head roughly and yanking it back, kissing him fiercely just as he palms the other boy’s heat and squeezes.
“Aah!” Nothing could have prepared Kaneki for the electricity that shoots up his spine, the desperate, aching need that makes him rock into Hide’s palm shamelessly, his hands fisting the sheets around him for desperate purchase.
“Like that?” Hide whispers in his ear, voice low and harsh with desire as he pumps him. His words make Kaneki moan, but when he strokes his thumb over the head, he practically sobs, his head tossing from side to side.
“Hi—ah!—Hide!” Kaneki doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say, just knows that he’ll say whatever it takes to keep Hide’s hands on him for the rest of his life.
“What’s that?” Hide’s hand slows it’s pumping, and Kaneki opens his eyes, distraught. Hide’s smirking—the monster—looking down at Kaneki with a playful look dancing in his eyes.
“I can’t do what you want unless you tell me,” Hide says in a sickly-sweet tone. Kaneki glares at him, thinking of all the ways he wants to kill the blond, until the other boy squeezes, making his breath stutter, and he thinks, ‘Later, later.’
Hide arches a brow, waiting, and Kaneki groans in frustration when his hand stops moving completely.
“Please,” Kaneki chokes out, “Don’t stop.”
Hide pulls his hand out of Kaneki’s pants and he almost yells because what the hell? He did what he was told! But then the blond yanks down his pants, underwear and all, and licks his tip before he’s engulfed in wet, wonderful heat.
Kaneki’s brain short-circuits as he cries out, loud, and his hips surge forward, struggling against the palms holding his hips firmly down against the bed.
Hide hums around him, sliding his tongue up his length and back down, taking him in before hollowing his cheeks, sucking him while his hand grasps him at the base, stroking in firm, perfect motions.
Kaneki’s hands bury in Hide’s hair and he unconsciously pulls, causing the boy between his legs to groan, something that feels amazing against his cock, and he shudders.
He’s close, very close, fire pooling low in his gut, and Kaneki tugs more firmly on Hide’s hair, trying to warn him.
Hide rises with a wet pop, lips glistening, and the sight of his own hardness, wet and aching so close to the blond’s face almost does the job for him.
“Close?” Even in the darkness, Kaneki can see Hide’s pupils blown wide with desire, and he nods, not trusting his voice.
Hide wraps his hand around Kaneki and starts pumping, sliding a hand around his back and raising him to meet in a fierce kiss, and Kaneki thinks he might faint from the heady sensation of being touched so intimately and tasting himself on someone else’s tongue.
He throws his arms around Hide just as his hips start to tense, and he gasps, teetering over the edge.
Hide abruptly breaks their kiss, and in a move so swift Kaneki has no hope of stopping him, he’s suddenly between his thighs, flicking his tongue out and running it along his slit.
“Hide!” Kaneki comes undone with a strangled cry, going rigid as he dissolves into pleasure, the entire world around him silenced by the force of his pleasure.
Hide helps him down from his peak, licking his softening length languidly as Kaneki shudders. When at last he comes down, he collapses on his back, panting and hot, feeling completely boneless.
Hide rises from between his legs, licking some of Kaneki’s spill from his lips, smiling.
“That was fun,” he says brightly, grinning.
Kaneki almost smiles back before memory rears it’s head, and he glares instead, moving like a lightning strike and hitting the blond.
“Ow!” Hide cradles the side of his head, looking at Kaneki with a betrayed expression. “What kind of thank you was that?!”
Kaneki settles back down, crossing his arms and looking away.
“That’s what you get,” he says, unrepentant. “Torturing me like that…” Just remembering it makes Kaneki blush all over again.
Hide gives him an equally unrepentant look, placing his hands on either side of Kaneki’s hips and leaning until he is just a breath away from Kaneki’s lips.
“I couldn’t help it, though,” he whines. “You looked so good, begging for it.”
Kaneki’s face flushes. “Oh my God,” he groans, covering his face in humiliation. “Please stop.”
“That’s not what you were saying earlier.”
Hide laughs, pressing his lips to Kaneki’s. Kaneki tries to resist but he caves almost instantly, kissing him back with a sigh, smiling against his mouth.
“I’ll get you back,” Kaneki promises between kisses, and he can feel Hide grin against his lips.
“Oh yeah?” Hide sounds far from convinced. “Well, lucky for you…” He pulls Kaneki into his lap, nipping lightly at his neck and slipping a hand under his shirt, flicking his nipple. Kaneki gasps, feeling how hard Hide is beneath him, and runs his hands through Hide’s hair.
“Lucky for you,” Hide continues, pressing their chests together, “You’ve got all night to try.”
Hide’s eyes have that familiar darkness again, and Kaneki swallows.
He doesn’t stand a chance.
Then they fuck and get married and don't have kids because kids are lame and use all the money they would have used on kids on tickets to Disney World and several bottles of different flavored lube and live happily ever after.
If you're still reading this trash, thanks for your support!
Considering a morning-after chapter, so keep an eye out.
Please comment! My writing is so rusty and I'd love to hear what I can improve!
Chapter 3: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
At last, the long-awaited conclusion to Liquid Courage is here! Just kidding, no one was waiting for this trash.
I meant for this update to come way earlier, but my laptop suddenly stopped working on me, so yeah. Sorry!
Anyways, thanks to everyone who's messaged me and favorited this story and overall just shown this story support. This fic started out as a guilty pleasure and the only reason I even finished it was because of everyone's kind words. It's been years since I've published anything and I'm really glad this story is what got me back.
I plan on writing a lot more in the future, so keep an eye out.
Opening his eyes feels like the worst mistake Kaneki's made in a long time.
Horrifying sunlight nearly blinds him and the pain makes him screw his eyes shut, whimpering in distress. He twists beneath the sheet covering him, pressing his forehead into a warm chest.
A sigh later and Kaneki is peaceful. Then, his eyes fly open because why was there someone in his bed?
He's greeted by tanned skin and toned muscles, a decidedly male chest, and soft snores rustling the hair on the crown of his head. He looks up into Hide's sleeping face and thinks, '...Oh, yeah.'
Memories of Hide's hands on his body, his lips, his teasing caresses, combined with an unmistakable soreness, have Kaneki's face flooding with color.
Regret is the furthest thing from his mind, but still. He's not sure he'll be able to meet anyone's eyes for the foreseeable ever and God, if Touka found out or—heaven forbid—Tsukiyama—
Kaneki shudders. He can already hear Shuu's devastated cries over his lost purity. No, his friends will have to be kept in the dark.
But first, he needs to call Touka back, and before he can do that, he needs to get dressed. Besides, isn't this the part where he leaves?
Kaneki hesitates before rising on an elbow, looking down at Hide.
The drool on Hide's pillow combined with his legs sticking out from under the sheet should have Kaneki laughing, but the most he can muster is a fond smile. His spiked hair is even spiky-er, and with good reason, as Kaneki remembers running his hands through it and clenching his fists in blond hair more than once…
Blushing, Kaneki banishes the inappropriate thoughts, glancing at Hide guiltily as if the blond can hear his thoughts. He brushes his fingers lightly against Hide's cheek, and when the blond doesn't stir, he moves his hand to cup it, running his thumb over the smooth skin.
Kaneki knows he should succumb to the inevitable walk of shame, but he lingers, already knowing his return home will feel especially lonely.
He only indulges his procrastination for a moment before he exhales, reluctantly drawing his hand away. It had been nice while it lasted.
Rising, Kaneki winces, a dull pain in his lower back flaring up. He aches—in more places than one— but he smiles softly, deciding it's a good kind of soreness.
Pushing the memories away, Kaneki's eyes sweep the floor for his pants among the clothes that already litter the floor. Hide hadn't been kidding when he said his place was a mess…
Kaneki only just begins to lift the sheet over him when strong arms wrap around him and tug him back down to the bed, pressed against a firm chest.
"Ah!" Kaneki brings the sheet down to cover his nakedness, flushing.
"Trying to sneak out, huh?" Hide's voice is husky from sleep and Kaneki's face burns brighter. One of the hands wrapped around him pats his side admonishingly. "Bad Kaneki."
Laughter is startled out of him despite himself, and Kaneki twists in Hide's arms, trying for firm and serious and failing.
"I should be going…" he starts, eyes darting between Hide and the sheets. Hide has yet to open his eyes, and the blond grimaces.
"Nah," he pulls Kaneki even closer, wrapping his legs around him and effectively trapping him with his body. "Go back to sleep, Kaneki."
"Sleep," Hide stresses, whining. He presses his palm against Kaneki's eyes, brushing his fingertips against his eyelids in an effort to close them.
Exasperated, Kaneki pulls Hide's hand of his face, rising to one elbow.
"I have work, and my friends are probably worried about me. I don't, uh, usually do this...sort of thing." He gestures vaguely, feeling warm.
When Kaneki looks back at Hide, the other boy is watching him, eyes bright and too focused for someone so tired, and Kaneki's eyes widen. For a moment, he simply looks at Kaneki, his expression unreadable. It makes Kaneki nervous, and serves to remind him that he truly knows next to nothing about Hide.
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine," Hide suddenly shouts, making Kaneki start. He sits up in a swift motion that almost takes Kaneki out, and rises from the bed, stretching languidly.
Kaneki bows his head, blushing, and Hide chuckles.
"So cute," the other mutters, amused, and before Kaneki can form a retort, Hide's arms snake behind his back and under his knees, lifting him with insulting ease.
Flustered, Kaneki gives a startled, manly yelp—definitely not a squeak—and ends up dragging the sheets clear off the bed in an attempt to cover himself, one hand on the sheet, the other over Hide's shoulders.
"Put me down!" Kaneki's voice is panicked, and Hide only laughs. The situation is so similar to last night he unconsciously tenses, preparing for the inevitable fall.
Hide gives him a bright smile, so bright Kaneki's eyes narrow in suspicion.
"But we've got to get you all nice and cleaned up!" Hide insists, walking down the hall. "You've got work, remember? Can't have you walking in there looking all good and fucked now, can we?"
Hide's blunt words rob Kaneki of his own and his cheeks redden.
"Oh my God," he groans in embarrassment, covering his face with a corner of the sheet. Hide only laughs, carrying him down the hall.
Kaneki's jostled a bit in an effort to open the bathroom door, but it swings open easily enough.
Hide makes a big show of placing Kaneki on the toilet seat, but Kaneki's only half-way through rolling his eyes when he winces at the contact. Hide has the grace to look sheepish.
"Sorry about that," he kneels before Kaneki, gazing at him with a concerned expression, running a soothing hand up and down his lower back.
"Guess I got kinda carried away, huh?" In answer to Kaneki's dry 'You think so?' look, Hide shifts closer, looking right into his eyes. "Does it hurt a lot?" he asks, worry seeping into his tone, deep brown eyes troubled.
Suddenly shy, Kaneki looks to the side.
"It's not so bad," he replies after a moment, cheeks burning. Was it Hide's personal mission to embarrass him at every turn?
"That's good," Hide says, his thumb lazily rubbing up and down Kaneki's spine. The mood suddenly seems different, charged, and Kaneki swallows.
"How about round two, then?" Hide's breath is hot against his ear, and Kaneki shivers, eyes going wide, breath hitching. In the space of a heartbeat, he finds himself torn between reminding Hide it certainly wouldn't be their second or even third time, not after last night, and melting.
Deciding on neither, Kaneki pushes Hide away, keeping him at arms length, his glare lessened by his furious blush.
"Definitely not," he protests. "I need to be able to stand at work."
Hide's tosses his head back in laughter and pats Kaneki's hip, standing.
"Fine, fine, have it your way."
It's not until Hide starts running the water that Kaneki realizes that Hide means to shower with him.
The thought is as tantalizing as it is terrifying, and when Hide straightens and turns to him, brown eyes meeting grey, his heart beats double-time.
"Here," Hide moves in front of him, freeing Kaneki's entangled hands from the sheet and holding them in his own. "Come on." He straightens, holding Kaneki's hands hostage so he has no choice but to let the sheet go when he stands.
Kaneki considers asking to shower in the dark, but dismisses it somewhat mournfully.
Slowly, Kaneki stands, encouraged by Hide's hands squeezing his own, and the thin fabric falls away with a cool and airy caress. After a pause, Kaneki musters the courage and looks at the blond, nervous and self-conscious. Hide beams in response and without a word, leads Kaneki into the shower. Hot water douses him and as he brushes his bangs from his eyes Hide steps in behind him, drawing the curtain closed.
The effect that simple action has is astounding. The world seems suddenly reduced to this small, steamy little space, Hide's warmth just behind him, and Kaneki can only stare down at his feet, watching the water swirl down the drain.
Tanned arms come around his waist and Hide's chin settles on his shoulder.
"Getting shy on me again?" His words are an amused murmur. After a moment of hesitation, Kaneki brings his hands to cover Hide's, a small, abashed smile on his face.
"A little," he admits quietly, glancing at Hide and away.
Hide gives a low sound of consideration before leaning back and turning Kaneki to face him. His blond hair is plastered to his face and he pushes it up and out of his eyes in a move that is a lot more attractive than it should be. His dark eyes are full of affection.
Hide lifts Kaneki's chin and taps him lightly on the nose.
"Don't be," Hide commands, smiling, leaving Kaneki no choice but to smile in return. But when Hide's eyes dart from Kaneki's eyes to his mouth, he unconsciously licks them, entrancing the blond even further. Hide leans closer still, and Kaneki rises to meet him, whispering, "Okay," just before their lips touch.
They've only been up less than an hour but the feel of Hide's lips on his feels like something long overdue, and he presses himself against the blond, arms going around his shoulders.
Hide snakes his tongue into Kaneki's mouth, anchoring his hand in Kaneki's hair, before biting on his lip, swiping his tongue over it and slipping back into his mouth, his other hand moving from Kaneki's hip to his chest, tweaking his nipple.
"Ah," the contact makes Kaneki twitch, gasping against the other boy, feeling himself harden and Hide's answering hardness against his hip. It's a dizzying sensation only worsened when Hide moves from Kaneki's mouth down to his neck, kissing lightly before sucking and nipping at the skin.
The feeling is way too good and Kaneki gives a low whine in response, fisting and tugging on Hide's hair, biting his lip in a desperate attempt to keep silent.
Hide groans and kisses Kaneki with a furious passion, his hand making a burning trail from his chest down, down—
"Hi—Hide," Kaneki breaks off the kiss, their forehead pressed together, and stops Hide's hand in it's tempting path. "We can't," he stresses, although work is seeming less and less important with each passing second…
"I know, I know," Hide breathes back, joining their lips again. He flips his hand to hold Kaneki's and uses the other to push him until Kaneki's back is pressed against the cool tiles of the shower wall.
"We'll just have to get creative," he whispers, and then he guides Kaneki's hand between them, closing around their cocks.
Neither can hold back their moans at the contact, and Hide goes back to kissing Kaneki, tasting his every gasp and cry and eating them up greedily.
The feeling is heavenly and so, so embarrassing.
"Shh," Hide's hand presses against the small of his back, rubbing up and down, while his other hand closes Kaneki's fingers tighter around them both.
"Like this," he murmurs, sliding Kaneki's hand up and down so that they're both pumping, aching cocks pressed firm and slick together.
"Oh God," Kaneki's head is spinning and his hips rock up against the friction despite himself. He starts pumping them on his own—Hide's hand there for the insurance that he won't stop at this point—and the other boy groans, sounding ragged.
Hide's knee comes between Kaneki's legs, no doubt noticing their trembling, and Kaneki's hand slides to the blond's neck.
"Hide." Their lip meet frantically, tongues sliding, and Kaneki whispers between breathes that he's so close—
"All right," Hide breathes, and before he realizes what's happening, the blond's hand is running down his back, tracing the seam of his cheeks, before Kaneki feels his finger slide down to tease his hole, circling it.
"Nngh!" Kaneki's eyes fly open, and he stares at the ceiling as pleasure rocks over him, jerking as Hide's hand still works him.
When he finally recovers enough to look back at Hide, he's watching him with a smug satisfaction that irritates Kaneki.
His hand is down and grasping Hide's hardness before the other boy can blink, and Hide gasps in shock, hands slamming on either side of his face and head dropping onto his shoulder.
"Fuck, Kaneki," he pants out. Kaneki says nothing, simply, running his fist down and pulling up quickly with a little twist motion that has Hide coming undone in his hand with a choked cry.
There is something ridiculously gratifying about making Hide come, and Kaneki can't hold back his own pleased smile, holding Hide just a bit closer.
Feeling exhausted, the two simply sag against the wall, panting, the hot water washing away their mess in moments. Kaneki absently traces patterns on Hide's back, content; he could get used to this.
'But I can't,' he suddenly thinks with a jolt. It's a heartbreaking thought, but no less true. Soon, he's going to walk out that door and all that he's going to have left of Hide are his memories.
Kaneki bites his lip, eyes falling shut in despondence. He knew this would happen, so why is he upset?
"Jesus," Hide suddenly sighs, raising his head. "You should come with a warning label, Kaneki."
Kaneki pushes his earlier thoughts away, focusing on the blond in his arms. He rolls his eyes.
"You'd just want me more," he teases.
"I don't know if that's possible," Hide winks and Kaneki hates himself for looking away in embarrassment, blushing.
"Get off me," he grumbles, pushing on Hide's chest and stepping out of the spray.
Hide's laughter echoes out into the steamy room, and Kaneki ignores it, failing to find a towel and wrapping himself in the sheet from earlier instead.
He doesn't wait for Hide and instead goes to the blond's room, dropping the sheet and picking out articles of his clothing as he finds it. How did his underwear end up over the lamp…?
"Sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?" Hide walks into the room wearing underwear and nothing else, toweling his hair dry and giving Kaneki an imploring look.
Kaneki tears his eyes away with some difficulty and looks back down at his legs as he slips on his pants, his back to the blond.
"Breakfast? It's already…" Kaneki glances at the bedside clock and feels his heart freeze in his chest.
"Oh my God!" He is late, late, late, and fuck, he's never been late before and why wasn't his zipper working and shit he's going to be fired and he'll have to beg on the streets—
Arms twist him around, halting Kaneki's frantic hopping as he tries to put on his shoes and run at the same time. Hide's giving him a look that's equal parts bewildered and amused.
"Whoa, there," Hide's hands run up and down Kaneki's arms soothingly.
"I'm so late, I've got to go," Kaneki's eyes keep darting to the door, and he's already mentally planning how exactly he'll beg for his job back. Should he cry?
Hide observes him for a minute before sighing, turning Kaneki towards the door and marching him.
"All right, all right, I don't want to be the reason you lose your job," Hide laments, pausing long enough to retrieve Kaneki's phone and slip it into his pocket.
Strangely, the words snap Kaneki out of his frenzied thoughts. He's about to leave the best night and morning of his life behind, and thanks to his little freak out, Hide's all but pushing him out the door…
Kaneki turns around at the doorway, looking at the ground and flushing. "Uh…" What do you even say at a moment like this? Thanks for the sex? Catch you later? The thought of trying to say something so casual with a straight face kind of makes Kaneki want to kill himself.
Luckily for him, Hide chuckles and steps into his space, hands sliding into Kaneki's back pockets and pushing him flush against the blond's chest, saving him from such an awkward situation.
"Call me sometime," Hide tells him. Kaneki wants to protest—he doesn't have Hide's number—but then Hide's lips are on his and thoughts like that suddenly become irrelevant, and his shyness disappears as he takes hold of the blond's hair and presses back, heedless of his state of undress, his only concern how good it feels to be held by someone who wants him, a feeling he hadn't had in so long he'd forgotten what it was like.
They part, and after a moment of staring, Kaneki looks away. He takes a step back and breathes deeply.
"I've…got to go," he gestures at the stairs. Hide grins and salutes him, leaning casually on the door frame and looking entirely too sinful in his underwear and slightly wet hair.
Kaneki twists before the image can entice him to do something he'll regret.
When his hand touches the rail of the staircase, Hide's words make him look back.
"Hey, Kaneki!" At Kaneki's questioning look, Hide smiles widely.
"Thanks for getting that drink with me."
Work had been busy, unsurprising for the weekend, but combined with his friends-slash-co-workers never-ending barrage of questions, and his...rigorous activities the night before, Kaneki is left feeling drained.
He collapses on his bed fully dressed, too tired to even take off his shoes, let alone his uniform.
Rest. All he needs is a good night's sleep and he'll be fine. He can go back to living his life, working, and reading to his heart's content. He'll deal with his friends questions later.
Still. It's hard trying to focus on sleep when his bed seems so cold without someone else in it.
He thinks of Hide, of what he would do if he were there with him now. Probably make fun of how clean his room is. Or how lazy he's being right now.
When Kaneki realizes he's smiling, he frowns and groans, trying desperately to smother himself with his pillow.
His phone suddenly goes off and Kaneki starts. Then he slumps in his bed, desperately trying to convince himself not to answer it. But without Hide there to distract him, he can't think of any good reason not to.
Digging into his pocket rather resentfully, Kaneki pulls out his phone and looks at the caller ID, ready to have a conversation that lasts ten seconds or less.
Eyes wide, Kaneki takes in the blurred, smiling face of a certain blond man, holding up a peace sign over a sleeping Kaneki.
The contact name read, The Best Lay I Ever Had.
I couldn't resist. Of course they see each other again! Well, HideKane has officially wrecked me, and I doubt this is the last fic of these two dorks I'll write. A sequel to this story is something I've considered, but until further notice, this is it.
Okay, it's really over, thank you for your support!