This whole morning was fucking shit. Bullshit. Honestly, after graduating from the seemingly unavoidable years of mismanaged anger, among other emotions- fucking thanks for that inheritance old hag - Bakugou had been content to maintain a public image of silent but deadly.
Although, he had blown sparky off of a roof for jokingly relating that social approach to that of a fart. He still hadn't apologized to the man for that. He also, had no intention.
Today though, it seemed that because of an influencer Quirk he'd been hit with, he just couldn't seem to shut the fuck up.
"If anyone asks me any personal questions today, I will promptly howitzer you in the fucking chest, this is a press conference dealing with an ongoing criminal investigation not a gossip channel, you fucking mongrels."
Whilst the media hadn't been suspicious of this level of rude chastising even slightly, Bakugou knew himself. He knew what he'd been intending to say, and he also knew he'd listened to that stupid fucking podcast: "anger management in a bind", the night before.
There was no reason for him to have let that slip at the conference earlier that morning. As the day rolled on though the realization that something was wrong became glaringly apparent.
He'd been pursuing a purse snatcher, the most benign of his daily tasks. When suddenly his own mouth dealt him the psychic damage of a fucking Greek myth.
"Fucking stop already you clown, I just had a fucking coffee and if I shit myself before I grab you I will seriously kill you bare handed, these are my favorite underwear."
The masked man had snorted in disbelief at the words, turning to look at him in reflex to this statement before barreling directly into a parked grocery truck.
He'd apprehended the bastard, but the man had laughed almost the entire way. He'd had tears in his eyes when he'd handed him over to officer Sansa whom he immediately prompted with: " Ground Zero probably still has to take a dump, you should let him use your bathroom dude." Sansa had bit down on the snort, but unsuccessfully and Bakugou had about faced and gotten the hell out of there.
That had been around 10AM; it was nearing 12PM now and already his mouth had done a fair amount of damage.
He'd returned briskly to best Jeanists office and immediately he'd been accosted by shitty hair.
"Hey man, good morning how'd the conference g-"
"Can't talk, gotta take a shit."
"Ppfpft, dude okay." Bakugou ignored Kirishima's laughter as he quarantine d himself to a stall and took care of his business. Upon departure from the safety of the restroom, once more he was approached by Kirishima.
"So now that you're good, how was the press conference? Did the podcast Midoriya suggested help?"
"The conference was as uselessly time consuming as normal, but they at least kept their shit together and didn't ask me about anything personal this time. The podcast actually has been pretty helpful, I like to listen to it when I cook." He stared slack faced into Shitty hair's even shittier slack face.
"Dude that was like more than one sentence bro."
"Don't use dude and bro in the same sentence dude it's fucking redundant."
"Uh, okay yeah, alright. Man, you feeling okay?"
"Not in the slightest I actually have no God damn idea what the fuck is going on."
The door chose that moment to slide open revealing Kaminari Denki aka worst case scenario. Bakugou took one look at the electricity radiating fool, promptly marched to his own desk, slammed open a drawer, pulled out a roll of duct tape and taped his mouth the fuck shut.
He'd been too naive, when he so much as had a thought, the tape ripped like the hands of God themselves were committed to this complete shit comedy routine.
"Haaaahah, so you're telling me you just blurt out whatever you think at this point?" Kaminari was folded over, barely managing to not cackle as he watched Kirishima attempt to recover from Bakugou calling his hair cute and reminiscent of a porcupine.
"Yeah, fucking Pikachu. I can't help it, Christ is it like a kink of yours to see me in any sort of social discomfort? Is this some weird Freud shit, like you've got mommy issues so you're a glutton for schadenfreude?" Kaminari sputtered weakly in defense of himself and his mother. Kirishima snorted.
"Shut up, it was a joke, your mom is lovely, the cookies she sends to the office are fucking delicious, those bitches are definitely baked with love." Kirishima burst into another bout of laughter as Kaminari placed a hand on his chest and gushed at the other blonde.
"Aw man, I know right she's an amazing woman."
"I take it back you've definitely got mom related problems." Bakugou cringed and Kirishima howled in a fit of hysterics.
"You fuckers are not helping."
" C'mon bro, how bad is it just speaking your mind for a bit. I mean we've already narrowed down it was probably a Quirk. You can't resist it and plus you don't sound grossly unlike yourself anyway." The shock of red spikes atop Kirishima's head swayed gently as he inclined his head.
"How the fuck does it do that?"
"How the fuck does your hair stay that spiky, but also seem so pliable and soft?" Bakugou face palmed at his own words as Kirishima chuckled and started in on his hair care routine. He didn't know how he was going to make it through this fucking shift, but maybe Kirishima was right. It wasn't as if he was insanely out of character, and speaking his mind was something he'd actually been trying to do more in recent years.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
"So what're you gonna do about the date you've got with Midoriya later tonight?" Kaminari inquired around a mouthful of cup noodles.
Fuck. He was so fucked.
"It isn't a date, no one called it a date. It's a fucking strategy meeting, we're collaborators on this case." Bakugou thanked the heavens above that his mouth had been merciful, the light dusting of pink high on his cheeks though- that was a different story.
"Sure, sure. This could be a big chance though dude, you could be honest and tell him you wanna patch things up, ya dig. You guys could be shooting the shit and picking up girls in no time." Kaminari offered.
"Newsflash, asshole. The only shooting I wanna do involving Deku are my loads preferably while I'm inside him." Kaminari choked on a mouthful of noodles nearly going blue and then silence.
No one moved and Bakugou cursed the very heavens that had betrayed him. Standing, he rushed to the window, opened it and promptly yeeted himself through the escape, blasting three buildings away onto a neighboring roof.
Back inside the office, Kaminari's noodles sat forgotten on his desk and he stared out after his explosive pal. He turned slack faced towards Kirishima and they both chorused an excited:
"Yo, Shinsou owes me fifty dollars!"
"I know, Mina is gonna be so stoked bro, hold on I gotta call her!"
So here he was, after that fucking trainwreck of an interaction popping off catharsis explosions on another agency's roof and pretending he wasn't now dreading the inevitable fucking foolerly he'd be submitting himself to. Bakugou was so enraptured in his mental game of imagine just how awful this date, not date, can go in a matter of minutes, that when a hand landed on his shoulder he jolted.
"Hey Kacchan, what are you doing all the way up here? "
"Oh, fuckin God. Why do you always appear when I'm thinking about you?" Great he wasn't even a minute in and he'd already implicated himself. Midoriya looked shocked before scratching his reddening cheek and chuckling.
"I guess I just have a sixth sense when it comes to you."
"Damn, that's kinda romantic. You use that shit, to get laid Deku?" Bakugou wanted to die, but the way the other man lit up like a Christmas tree was, all in all, kind of worth it.
"I, uh, no."
"You should, it would totally work. Actually, on second thought don't do that- that'd just mean more competition." He wanted to punch himself, he really did, but all Midoriya did was look at him like he'd bitten into a large lemon.
"Not everything is a competition Kacchan."
"It is when it comes to you, and especially when it's over you." Oh, dear God.
"What do you mean? Why do you think that?" He dearly needed Deku to fucking not, but the man never did what Bakugou wanted him and his stupid freckled face to.
"Anyone would want the person they like to fucking look at them, standing out is great for that. Winning-even better." Bakugou groaned out the admission through clenched teeth and Midoriya was silent. The green haired man shook his head as if clearing some haze he'd fallen into.
"You like someone Kacchan?" Bakugou balked, how fucking stupid was the man he was in love with? Very, apparently.
"Jesus Christ, no wonder half-and-half gave up, you're as dense as they come, huh?" Bakugou huffed, thoroughly over this one sided cringefest and turned from the other content on going back to his office. He'd punch out and take a fucking early day, this was ridiculous. He'd just reschedule their meeting. A hand on his bicep stopped him though.
" Wait, what do you mean? What does this have to do with me?" Midoriya was concernedly searching his expression for an explanation. Bakugou, bit down on his lip drawing blood in an effort to keep it in and when that didn't seemed to be effective anymore he fucking held his breath. He was not fucking saying anymore shit like this. This was fucking ludicrous.
He was not gonna say it.
He was absolutely not going to say shit about his feelings. He refused to look the dumb, green haired idiot -that he'd harbored the biggest, stupidest crush on for years- in the face and say… say…
Fuck this shit!
He drew in a gasp, face red as he spun on the shorter man.
"What the fuck else would it have to do with you, Izuku? It's you, you big dumb broccoli! Fuck! I like you! I've always liked you!"
"Y-you like m-"
"No, fuck that! It's more accurate to say I love you, you stupid human version of a puppy." Midoriya tried and failed to say anything in that high pitched rambling voice as he stumbled backwards. All the while Bakugou's rant went on.
"Do you know how infuriating it is to deal with someone so cute you want to squeeze something to death, but can't?" Bakugou screamed, stomping as the other male squeaked and turned bright red, trying to cover up his ever reddening face with flailing arms.
"You and your big, stupid, green eyes and the God damn freckles everywhere, even on your fucking butt. Stupid ass little button nose and the way it scrunches up when you're concentrating, like a fucking bunny! How fucking dare you be that cute, what the fuck Deku!" Bakugou pointed to the aforementioned areas accusingly.
"Kacchan, no. Stop." Midoriya's weak little voice pleaded around his tightly clenched arms and spinning eyes.
"I can't, because you asked God damn it!" Bakugou screamed, his entire face and neck red from mortification and rage.
"I can't shut my mouth because of this dumbass quirk! Now I can't not say the shit I'm thinking about which is all the insane reasons why I'm in love with you, because you asked you fucking dip shit!"
"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" The embarrassed mumble drifted out of the man as he collapsed into a sitting position on the roof. Midoriya hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in the tops of them. Bakugou paused for a moment, his stomach feeling as though it fell right out of his body.
"Don't be sorry, please." The desperation in his voice caught them both off guard and suddenly Midoriya was looking at him again. He stood again, almost tripping over his own two feet.
"No, Kacchan- I didn't mean it like tha-"
"I know you don't feel the same way, how could you? I was your childhood bully after all." Bakugou backed away, his hands clenching tightly at his sides. Midoriya advanced mumbling something about change and difference, but Bakugou couldn't hear him over the drumbeat of his own heart.
"Kacchan, wait a second."
"I don't want to! This is why I didn't want to say shit, I don't want to hear it, I already know! Now, it's ruined. I was going to go about this differently, I wasn't going to fuck it up again." A little crack in his voice paused Midoriya just a few feet from him. A small distance to bridge, but what felt like a chasm.
"Kacchan, just listen, please!" Midoriya pleaded with him, his hands reaching out. Fingers brushing against the skin of his arms. He stumbled backwards out of those warm hands and shook his head.
" This is exactly what I was afraid of." He whispered it, but Midoriya had heard it and like a spell it had frozen him still.
Bakugou turned tail and did something truly out of character, he ran. He didn't even go to the office, simply shooting a text to Kirishima that this stupid quirk had all but ended his fucking life. He left the other man's concerned questions on read, stripped down to his boxers and crawled into fucking bed.
If today was determined to be fucking awful, he'd just sleep it away. He couldn't absolutely fuck himself over if he was unconscious.
So that's how the remainder of the day found Ground Zero, hero number three, a fearsome existence to all villains, reduced to a sniffling blanket burrito. He fell asleep, sad and filled to the brim with exhaustion.
Until someone began pounding at his door furiously. His head lifted off his pillow as he gazed out of his bedroom door. He figured it was Kirishima, but he wasn't in the fucking mood, so he let his head fall back onto his pillow.
The silence returned, but only for a moment before the knocking started up with a vengeance. Whoever it was would eventually take the hint, he thought as he stared forlornly at the picture of Midoriya and himself on his nightstand. He should've ran, the second the man had appeared. Now it was over before it began.
Or so he thought, before the sound of blistering wood roared from his entryway.
"Kacchan! God damn it, I know you're in here!" His body physically threw itself from his cocooned state. He scurried to his feet and out into the entryway where the green haired man stood right in the middle of his front door's corpse, sweaty and breathing heavily .
"Did you break my fucking door down?" It was honestly out of his mouth more in awe than anger.
"I had to! You weren't answering your phone! You left work earlier and no one could get a hold of you!" Bakugou looked away, shuffling to the kitchen to grab his broom and at least try to fix some of the fucking mess that constituted his day. Midoriya was tight on his heels.
"You don't have to feel obligated like that, and it isn't like I'd off myself over getting rejected. I'm heart broken, not insane." He murmured over the huffing behind him, he grabbed his broom and was about to move back into the entryway when he turned and found Midoriya far closer than he'd anticipated.
"It isn't obligation! I was worried!"
"Do you always break down people's door when you're worried?" The green haired man had the decency to appear sheepish at that. He shuffled past him, but once more warm hands stopped his retreat.
"No, I don't. I think I'd only do this for you." Bakugou's breath stuttered in his lungs, but he shook the feeling off.
"Don't say it that way, Deku. Jesus." He refused to look into those green eyes. He didn't know what he'd see honestly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to take it if the other man was gazing at him pitifully.
"Kacchan, look at me."
"I'll fucking pass."
"Please." His eyes, the traitorous fuckers swung down in an unconscious response to the man's pleading. Midoriya looked frustrated, his eyes red, set under angry brows with a red nose that looked as if he'd been crying.
"What the hell do you have to cry about?" He asked, voice placid as he rubbed an errant eyelash off of the smaller man's cheek. The red that took its place was much better. The other huffed frustratedly.
"One of my best friends dropped a bomb on me then went awol."
"Huh, sounds like an asshole." He made to stop touching the other, but a strong crooked hand enclosed his. Green eyes peered up through a curtain of dark lashes and his breath was once again nowhere.
"Sounds like bullshit, Deku."
"It's not, not entirely. It was frustrating because he didn't listen to me." The hand tightened as his urge to flee increased rapidly.
"Some shit doesn't have to be said to be understood."
"You can't just assume you know what others are thinking! You can't just run away, when you think you've got it all figured out!" Midoriya had never been the first to raise his voice, but he'd bellowed the admonishment, fingers tightly wound around the other man's.
"Yeah well, I get to be scared of shit sometimes, okay." Bakugou didn't want to cry, but being put on the spot like this after this much of a shitty day just might do it. Midoriya just stared, those angry green eyes clearing like dust settling in a clear pond. He took a deep breath as he stepped even closer.
"What are you scared of, Kacchan?" Midoriya watched as frightened eyes looked at him, betrayed for a moment before resolved to the pain the words would bring him. Midoriya felt sorry too, but this needed to be out in the open.
"Losing you. Not being able to speak to you, not having you in my life. Getting to a future where the only constant is the reminder that I let the singular most good that's ever happened to me slip through my fingers because of who I am as a person." Bakugou tried to recede then, violently attempted to disengage from what was quickly turning into martyrdom.
Midoriya kept one tightened hand, glowing with streaks of green lightning, around Bakugou's. He tried and failed to jerked his hand free.
"Stop this shit, Izuku. You're being cruel!"
Izuku ignored him, eyes transfixed.
"Why are you afraid of that?" Bakugou grimaced, his features pinched. He felt cracked open, all of his soft parts being forcefully put on display. He probably wouldn't be able to eat eggs for a while.
"Because, you fucking clown, you're the most important person to me. I love everything about you. Your kindness, your strength, your determination. All of it. You're constantly pushing me to be a better person."
"You've also got a really nice ass."
"Kacchan!" Midoriya was at least as red as he was now.
"You fucking asked, genius." And he was right, the other man had pried. Midoriya was silent a moment and then he leaned forward into the blonde. Bakugou stayed still, confused.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm hugging you, Kacchan." Bakugou made no sudden moves, he stayed very still. For this patience he was rewarded and eventually Midoryia spoke.
"You don't have to be afraid." It came out mumbled but Bakugou had heard the words.
"You can't disaster after-care me right now, Deku." He deadpanned.
"That isn't what I'm doing!" Midoriya was yelling.
"Then what? We're gonna be best buds, while you walk on fucking eggshells the rest of our lives trying to not break me?" Now he was yelling too.
"Would you just listen to me!"
"Why so you can feed me the stereotypical "let down easy" shit? Like we'll always be friends, and you're so sorry, but you just don't feel the sa-" his sentence ended abruptly as the other man grabbed him by the collar and slammed their mouths together.
Which was painful. They both parted clutching their mouths, that had been too much teeth, too fast.
"Jesus, watch your aim Deku. What was that your first kiss?" He jibed in pain and shock and holy shit Deku had just tried to kiss him.
"I- yes." The green haired man blushed from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears and Bakugou felt a pleasant fluttering sensation in his chest.
"You just tried to kiss me."
"I think I'm concussed."
"Everything is pink." Midoriya seemed to get redder before slapping both hands against his cheeks and squaring his shoulders.
"You don't have anything to fear, Kacchan." He stated again.
"Because you actually did concuss me and now I'm going to die?" He joked tonelessly, that seemed to be the last straw for Midoriya though because he exploded.
"No! Because I've been in love with you since we were fucking toddlers, Katsuki!"
"How can one person be this frustrating over having mutual feelings. Fucking, God!"
"You don't get to say that shit!"
"Fair point, bu-"
"You know I was fucking ecstatic when you told me today, but it's because you're under a quirk right now right? You were just going to keep it hidden then." Midoriya sounded legitimately angry, Bakugou was strangely afraid, but also very turned on as the man rounded on him and gripped his collar again.
"I was afraid too, you know. That you'd be disgusted with me." Bakugou let himself be dragged closer as the other man ranted.
"Afraid that you'd despise me. That you'd be unable to be around me if you found out."
"Impossible." Bakugou answered effortlessly and Midoriya was suddenly calm.
"Then it's the same. We feel the same." Midoriya's head fell lax against his shoulder and Bakugou threaded his arms around the smaller man.
"Maybe not entirely."
"What do you mean?" Midoriya's head popped up, just close enough for Bakugou to swoop in and steal a kiss. An actual one, that didn't threaten concussions or chipped teeth.
"Well I for one, want to bend you over the nearest surface, about nine times out of ten, and do unspeakable things to you." The man lit up again because it was fucking Christmas in July and Bakugou walked them backwards into his dark bedroom a grin curving his features.
"It's the same then." Bakugou paused at the words and kicked his door closed a devious glint in his eye.
"We're dating then."
"There's no regretting this, Izuku." The back of Midoriya's knees hit the bed and he tumbled backwards. Bakugou followed him down. The green haired man was breathless and red faced and yet still had the gall to roll his eyes.
"There is nothing to regret." Bakugou groaned at that sassy comment, intent on eating the attitude right out of the other's mouth.
They separated panting, a string of saliva glinting in the streak of moonlight falling over the bed.
"I love you."
"I love you."
It was the same. The same words, the same feelings, the same gross overly emotional twinkle in both their eyes. Bakugou smiled and Midoriya smiled, but the moment broke as warm hands very readily ripped the green haired man's shirt right off his body. Said man shrieked in surprise.
"Do you have work tomorrow?"
"That's good." Bakugou placed a kiss at the man's sternum, goosebumps rippling from that point of contact.
"Because I'm sorry Deku but-" Bakugou's hands were already sliding his pants off.
"I'm about to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk, for at least a day." Izuku's red face reached new levels of color saturation as his hands attempted to shield his face. Bakugou laughed as he wrestled the other man's arms away to kiss him into the mattress.
Outside Bakugou's apartment stood a collection of their dearest friends, worried and equipped with pizza, chicken and beer. They stared at the broken open entryway and looked to each other. Yaoyorozu, the most adaptable of them took a step forward and opened her mouth to call out to their resident blonde explosion, only to be cut off by an unmistakable, and loud moan. She promptly turned back to the collection of her friends and declared it a good idea to leave for the evening.
She did so as she placed her load of snacks and alcohol down and proceeded to unbutton her coat. After constructing a new door and fastening it in place with the help of her girlfriend, she turned to Jirou and wordlessly pulled a fifty from her wallet and slid it into the girls hands.
"I knew blasty had it in him."
"Well it's actually Midoriya-chan that probably has it in him, full disclosure." Asui chuckled.
"That's hardly appropriate!"
"Chill out class rep, we all need a little nookie, we're adults!"
"Iida is just mad because he lost our bet on if they'd get it on post confession." Ochako giggled.
"Shinsou owes me money." Todoroki deadpanned.
"Hey man, me too!"
Kirishima chuckled as he counted his proceeds for the day and thought back to the man in the bar the evening before.
"So your quirk makes people unable to be dishonest for a day?"
"Yeah, pretty much. It lowers inhibition like getting drunk, which is ironic, because it cancels out once you consume alcohol. Otherwise it goes away after about a day."
"Hey man, could I ask you for a favor- hear me out, your rounds on me if ya think you can do it."
He silently thanked his drinking buddy. He'd definitely be buying the guy another drink, maybe even two.
Laughter followed the group of heroes through the night and back in his apartment, tangled in a pile with the man he loved, Bakugou counted freckles. Maybe today hadn't been such a bullshit day after all.