Castiel bit his lip as he pushed up his glasses. The lacrosse team was out practicing again and he was in his usual hiding place, behind the bleachers with his camera. It was ridiculous, borderline stalking but he couldn't help it. The team captain was absolutely gorgeous and Castiel had been harboring a crush on the guy for over a year now. He had first came across him when Castiel had tripped over one of their sticks, thrown carelessly in the grass. Castiel struggled getting up but then was met with the greenest eyes he’d ever seen and a kind smile.
From that day Castiel became somewhat of a shadow, following him around to steal his picture. The way he smiled or laughed lit up his entire face and often times, everyone around him as well. It was pathetic, Castiel didn’t even know his first name. Only Winchester. And that was only because it was on his jersey.
The shouted curse brought Castiel’s attention back to the field and he quickly snapped a picture of Dean breaking up a possible fight about to begin.
“Back the hell off, Gordon…” Dean grunted, pushing the bigger guy back with his shoulder. Benny was nothing if not patient and loyal to a damn fault, if he was ready to throw down over something Dean would be every penny that was in his bank account that Gordon had fucking started some serious shit.
Granted, it was only about twenty three bucks, but hey… it was the last thing between him and starvation for the rest of the week so it was pretty damn important.
“Hit the showers, guys!” he barked, putting a hand to Gordon’s chest before he started walking away. “What the hell was that?”
“You need to put a leash on that guy, shoulder checking my fucking throat!” Gordon growled trying to go after Benny again.
“Hey screw you, you were going after Dean man, like I’m gonna let that go easily? You’re crazy!” Benny shouted right back.
“Ben, I got this...go get washed up,” Dean said, giving his best friend a nod of understanding so that he’d know it wasn’t personal.
Benny glared hard at Gordon but nodded at Dean, “Alright,” he said through clenched teeth and then stalked off.
“Look, I don’t know what your problem is lately...I don’t know what shit you’re dealing with but you either come to us, talk to us like a decent human being or you can keep it to yourself, that’s your choice.” Dean said, dropping his helmet to the ground with a thump before he slowly started taking off his gloves. When he had finished he looked at Gordon with a serious threat in his eyes. “But make no mistake, you come after me or any of your other teammates like that again, and well let’s just say getting kicked off the team would be the least of your problems.”
Gordon rolled his eyes. There was a clicking noise that drew his attention from Dean and made a face, “You’re stalker is back,” he grumbled before turning on his heel to head towards the locker room.
Castiel swallowed hard at the exchange between Winchester and the other guy. He never liked him, always with his horrible attitude and the way he would try to throw the game just to get attention. When Gordon looked over he felt frozen but even more so when Winchester did as well. He scrambled back behind the bleachers and quickly tried to pack up his stuff.
“I mean it Gordon, this isn’t over!” Dean called out before he grabbed his gear and headed off toward the edge of the field.
Castiel froze. Was Winchester talking to him? He looked up and sure enough, the team captain was running towards him. He felt completely at a loss at what to do. He could try to run away and possibly trip and hurt not only himself but his camera. Or, risk embarrassing himself talking to his crush. Castiel pushed up his glasses and awkwardly lifted his camera bag to his shoulder as he waited.
“Hey uh….you-” Dean didn’t really know what to say now that he was staring into the big blue eyes of the guy that sometimes liked to follow him around. Benny had been worried about it for a while but when there weren’t any strange letters or like sawed off animal heads in his dorm room, he talked him into just dropping it.
“Uh...you don’t have to go or whatever.,” he said, rubbing nervously at his neck. “ I mean, you don’t have to let that asshole Gordon get any kind of say in where you go or when you leave.”
Castiel nodded, his hands fumbling a bit, “I-I know,” he said softly and then chewed on his bottom lip, “He doesn’t like when I’m around, he knows I take pictures when he tries to play dirty.”
“Oh...is that so? Well you’re welcome to come out and watch our practices whenever you want,” Dean said, then, because he couldn’t help himself, his grin turned into a smirk. “Y’know, from on top the bleachers.”
Castiel could feel the heat growing on his cheeks and ducked his face down to avoid that knowing grin, “Oh...okay,” he said, barely looking up. He was staring down at Castiel with a look he couldn’t describe that only made Castiel blush even harder. He wanted to run but again, he weighed the options and consequences of doing so, neither were in his favor.
“Well...I uh, I better get to the locker room before Benny and Gordon get into it again. But uh, it was nice meeting you….?”
“Cas-Castiel. My name is Castiel,” he said, wincing at how much he stammered but managed to give the guy a smile at least.
“Castiel, It was nice meeting you Cas...I’m Dean,” he said, holding out his hand. There was a weird fluttering in his stomach as he waited for the other guy to reach out. It only intensified though, when the cool touch of Castiel’s palm was gently pressed against his own.
“Dean…” Castiel smiled brightly. He finally had his name! There was a sharp buzzing noise that confused him until he realized it was his watch.
“Oh no, I’m late,” he gasped, quickly turning the alarm off. Without another word, he took off, praying he wouldn’t trip and embarrass himself even more in front of Dean.
Dean watched the guy run off, a little awkward and a lot clumsy but fuck if it didn’t make his chest warm and his stomach twist in knots.
Castiel , huh…He watched until Castiel’s body disappeared from his eyeline and found himself sighing in disappointment. Dean had never in his life wanted to know more about someone after such a short time together, but that would have to wait. He probably had another fight to break up. He shook his head and ran off toward the locker room.
“Oh come on, Kilmer is way better than Batfleck!” Dean grunted, sitting down beside his best friend with a bowl of Ramen.
“I said both of them suck Dean,” Benny chuckled. They finally had a break in between classes so when Dean messaged him about getting some food, Benny was all for it. He had enough money to splurge on a couple slices of pizza and now were eating outside on the lawn.
“Okay but there’s suck and there’s BATFLECK , Benny…those are not even the same categories,” he said, shaking his head as he crushed a couple packs of Zesta crackers into the damn bowl just so he could have a bit of texture. Benny looked at his food, bit his lip, acted as if he was going to say something, but Dean glared at him and they continued on. It was something of a pattern. He hadn’t been eating as healthy as he should have but Sammy was a growing boy and he needed shit so...Dean had been cutting corners a bit. It would be fine, he’d get paid on Friday and they’d all go out for burgers or something.
‘Mmmm red meat,’ he thought to himself.
“He’s already ruined one goddamn superhero movie, who watched Daredevil and thought hmmm...I want more of that, only with an even more iconic symbol attached to it?” he asked, shaking his head, before answering himself. “Nobody, that’s who.”
Benny snorted. He took a generous bite of his pizza and groaned. It wasn’t the best thing in the world but it was hot and it had melted cheese. He opened his mouth to argue back when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. It was the camera kid again. He seemed innocent enough and now that Dean actually talked to him, he didn’t allow for any trash talking towards him.
“He’s baaaaaack,” Benny singsonged, nudging his head in the same direction as to where the kid was “hiding”.
Dean felt his smile grow wider and he slowly, gently brought his hand up to do a small wave.
“He’s an okay guy, just a little awkward…”
“Try a lot awkward,” Benny said shaking his head fondly, “Gotta admit, he’s kinda cute when he stops fidgeting.”
Dean, who was resting his elbow on the table brought it down and pushed it into Benny’s side with a bit of force, “Whoops, slipped.”
Benny playfully punched Dean in the arm, “I was just teasin’ man. I know you’re the one with the crush,” he laughed.
“It’s not like that…” Dean started, “I don’t even know the guy just…”
“You don’t want anyone else gettin him then?” Benny teased, knowing it was exactly that.
Dean was about to say that wasn’t it either, but they’d both know he was lying so he just kept his mouth shut. “You know anything about him? Said his name was Castiel...it’s not exactly common but I’ve not heard a damn thing around campus and trust me, I’ve been listening.”
Benny shrugged, “All I know is he hangs around the visual arts building. Like, when he’s not stalking you, he practically lives there,” he said with a shrug.
“He doesn’t stalk me,” Dean answered, frowning over at his friend. “I don’t think he could...pretty sure that can’t be consensual, right?”
“Don’t answer that…” he said, second guessing himself. Still…the visual arts building was a hint he hadn’t gotten before and as far as Castiel was concerned any new information was welcome. Dean smiled over at the mysterious boy once more before turning back to his food.
There were two small benches just outside the brown brick building where Castiel had been spotted. Dean occupied half of one and there were a couple unfamiliar faces having a conversation on the other.
He may or may not have offered to pay some blonde kid he’d found with a sketchpad to meet him there so he’d have some sort of reason for standing around like a total loser. The plan he’d worked out in his head was nothing like what was happening and he chewed his lip as he checked his watch for the twentieth time.
Samandriel was running late, wincing a bit when he remembered he was supposed to meet up with Dean before his second class. The hot water had been out in his shady apartment and he’d had to shower off in the dorms.
Castiel was frowning down at his camera. The images he had gotten this morning were blurry and was frustrating him to no end. He was going to have to take the thing entirely apart to find the problem. He was just about to lower his arms when he crashed into someone.
“Oh! I'm so sorry!”
“That’s okay, I was just running late...I should have watched where I was going.” Samandriel offered, “Is your camera okay?”
“I hope so. I have to clean it later, sorry I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going,” Castiel said with a little smile.
“No, no, that was my fault...I-I gotta go but good luck and find me if there’s any problems, I’ll try to help!” Samandriel said, running off to where Dean was standing by the bench.
“I am so sorry, I- my water was out and I wasn’t planning on-” he started but he realized that Dean’s gaze was as far away as the cornfields of his little home town. “What are you?-” he started but then followed Dean’s line of vision out to where the boy with the camera was standing as if he was a deer in headlights.
“Dean? Deannnn?” Samandriel snapped his fingers in front of Dean’s eyes.
“I-fuck…” Dean whispered, his whole body half wilting in disappointment. He wanted to yell out that it wasn’t what it looked like but what the fuck was he going to say then? Sorry I just met this guy a couple days ago and offered to pay him to hang out with me so I could casually run into you? No...that was bad, even for him.
Castiel swallowed hard. Of course Dean would be interested in the attractive young man who didn't stutter over his words or run away or trip over their own feet. The way he was looking up at Dean was incredibly telling about what their “meeting” up was about. Castiel hugged his camera to his chest and hurried off in the opposite direction then he needed to go in.
“Dammit,” Dean said, kicking the ground after Castiel was out of sight.
Samandriel winced… “Is...are you okay, Dean?”
“Yeah, it’s-it’s not your fault, it’s fine, just-just didn’t work out like I planned…” he reached for his wallet but there was a hand to stop him.
“It’s okay, I was late so...don't worry about it. Honestly, I don’t really need the money anyway you just seemed-,” Samandriel bit his tongue. “You seemed like a nice guy who needed a little help.”
“Yeah...well not so sure he thinks that anymore,” Dean muttered, mostly to himself. “Thanks anyway S-Sman- thanks anyway buddy.”
“No problem Dean...if there’s anything else I can do-”
Dean shook his head, “Nah, I appreciate the offer though.”
Samandriel watched as Dean moved further away from the building. He chewed on his lip feeling a little guilty. He didn’t know exactly but he had a good idea of what it might have been and how his late timing might have thrown everything off.
He’d do what he could to make it right, but first….he needed to get to class before he was late.
It had been a couple days since Samandriel had bumped into the dark haired camera boy before he saw him again. He hated that he’d potentially hurt his camera not to mention the guilt he felt about ruining things for Dean.
“Hey, do you mind if I sit here?” he asked, plopping down beside the other boy at a small table just inside the door of the student center. He felt bad, but didn’t really give him time to respond before taking the seat without permission. “Again, sorry about the other day...I didn’t hurt your camera at all did I?”
Castiel stared at him for a moment before being able to respond. He pushed up his glasses and shut his notebook, “No, not at all. It was mostly just dirty but thank you for the concern,” he said and then held out his hand, trying to be a bit more confident, “I'm Castiel.”
“Samandriel...I guess we both should be in the weird name club,” he teased, taking Castiel’s hand and shaking it. “You can call me Dree.”
Castiel smiled softly, “You can call me Cas, De-some other people do,” he said. The frown disappeared into a slight frown as he remembered seeing Samandriel and Dean together. It would be mean and completely uncalled for if Castiel were to be rude to Samandriel just on that principle. He took in a deep breath and tried to go for nonchalant but wasn't sure he was succeeding.
“So uh, you...are you an art major?”
“Yes, but I feel like there’s something I should say here… and I’d like to get it out before we dig too much deeper, if you don’t mind.” Samandriel waited, Castiel seemed nervous but nodded his head in agreement. “Dean and I aren’t seeing one another, we only recently met when he asked for my help with something and I unfortunately, messed that up. I think, I mean it might be presumptuous for me to say with any amount of certainty, but I believe he was looking for a reason to see you and I provided an opportunity.”
Castiel blinked a few times, the frown growing deeper, “That's not a very nice thing to do,” he said, his hands fumbling a bit under the table, “That has to be a joke, there is no reason for Dean to actually want a reason to see me.”
“Look, let me just tell you what happened and then you can make up your own mind, okay?” Samandriel asked, just needing a little reassurance.
Castiel nodded slowly, “Okay.”
“So I was sitting outside by the quad, sketching the big cherry blossom tree, working on my floral presentation and this guy comes out of nowhere and is like hey...are you an art student?” Samandriel grinned, “At first I thought the poor thing was trying to hit on me, totally not my type...even if he is kinda cute, but when I answered that yes I was, he said…”So I bet you’re by the art building all the time, right?”
“That of course, is when it got even weirder and he says, ‘I’ll give you ten bucks to just meet me outside tomorrow at eleven and just hang out for a bit…”
“I stared at him like he was crazy, because...well I kinda thought he was but then he got a little pink around the cheeks and rubbed at his neck and was adorably nervous. He told me that he was hoping to run into someone else, but he didn’t have another reason for being there so he was hoping he could just say we were friends and he was on his way somewhere else.”
A whirl of hope blossomed in his chest, “Why….why do you think it was me though?” He asked softly.
“Because I’m not blind...time practically stopped when the two of you saw one another. I had to snap my fingers in front of his face to get his attention…” Samandriel laughed, “Not to mention the disappointment that was clear as day on his face when you walked away.”
Samandriel waited a moment, it seemed Castiel was still thinking on things. “Look I’m not telling you to chase him down and express undying love or anything, but...maybe talk to him? I just wanted you to know that we weren’t together...I didn’t want to be in the way of, well whatever you two are going to be.”
Castiel opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. He gave Samandriel a quick nod and started to pack up. He stopped from fleeing altogether and surprised himself by hugging the other boy.
“Thank you!” He said and then promptly ran away.
“You’re very welcome, Castiel.”
“C’mon, Heinrikson! It’s like you’re not even trying. You’re making it so easy for us my kid brother could score!” Dean teased, though Vic had been off his game. He’d have to pull him aside later and see what was going on. The teasing though, that was the normal between the teammates. Well, it used to be...then someone just flipped a switch on Gordon and he was becoming more and more of a pain in the ass, though he hadn’t gone after anyone directly since Dean had warned him. Still, he knew the team was on edge about it so Dean would have to make sure he either straightened up or he’d have to get rid of him.
“Run that one again, this time Benny you’re in for Gordon and Vic, for christs’ sake, try to keep the ball out of the goal, eh?”
Dean smacked the head of his stick against his cleat and stretched his legs a little. Practice was almost over, thankfully and his body was feeling the punishment he’d put himself through earlier. Ever since the fanfuckingtastic disaster that was his plan to ‘casually run into Cas’ he’d been pushing himself further and harder in a useless attempt to stay out of his own head.
Castiel was in his usual hiding place under the bleachers, just wanting a moment to watch Dean without being noticed. After a while though he was beginning to notice that Dean was pushing himself harder than usual. Biting his lip he gathered his wits and forced himself to come out of the shadows. He took his camera out and started taking shots of not just Dean but the whole team.
“Heads up Winchester,” Benny smirked, nodding his head towards the race track.
Dean had all but forced himself to stay still, running over there would only mean his teammates would tease him, maybe both of them, and loudly.
Instead, he growled back at Benny, “Keep your eyes on the field Lafitte!’
“Let’s go! Let’s do this!” He called out motioning them forward to do another run of their weakest plays.
“Okay, Okay, I give Cap...I can’t take it anymore,” called one of the guys.
“Dean, c’mon man...we’ve been at this for hours!” called another.
It took longer than it should have for him to realize that he had been riding them quite a bit harder than usual as well. “Fine, fine… hit the showers guys.”
He waited until most of them had taken off before slowly making his way toward the bleachers where Cas was waiting. He didn’t wanna scare the guy off or make him feel like he needed to leave or anything, but he also wasn’t really sure what to say.
“Hello Dean,” he said, “I was um...I was-”
Castiel closed his eyes and said in on breath, “Wonderingifyouwouldwanttojoinmeforsomeicecream.”
Dean stared back in confusion, he had caught a bit of what Cas said but it was so rushed that he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “I um, did you say ice cream?”
Castiel nodded eagerly, “My treat,” he said and then bit down hard on his lip. He was hoping and praying that what Samandriel had told him wasn't a lie. It seemed too good to be true that someone like Dean Winchester would even look twice at him but Castiel was holding onto that small bubble of hope.
“Yeah- yes...of course,” Dean answered, “I just uh, I should go-shower first...if that’s okay?” he asked, biting at his lip a bit as something dangerous swirled in his stomach.
Castiel was about to say he didn't mind if Dean skipped the shower but that was borderline crazy. He gave Dean a timid smile and nodded, “Of course. I'll um...I can meet you there...or wait?”
“Just wait...you can wait here..if you don't mind. I won’t be long,” Dean promised. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes and then, then we can go.”
Dean waited for him to nod and h took off running toward the locker rooms. He ignored the playful shots fired at him in favor of getting in and out quicker. Benny teased him too but Dean just flipped him off and moved forward.
After taking what had to be one of the shortest showers in the history of man, Dean rushed back out of the building, his shirt still clinging to him a little because of the rush job he did at trying to dry himself off.
Castiel's eyes bugged out a bit at the sight of Dean's shirt clinging to the very defined muscles of his chest and shoulders. He could feel the blood rushing to his face and there was really no use in trying to hide it. He hugged his camera to his chest as he waited for Dean to close the distance between them.
“Hey, sorry about the wait...you ready?” he asked, feeling more nervous than he probably ever had. Something about the mysterious Castiel had him on edge and Dean didn’t quite know what it was but there was something warm and heady sizzling under the surface.
“Huh? Oh, yes. Yes of course,” Castiel said, clearing his throat and then turning to lead the way back to the quad. Thankfully the random food trucks that would show up sporadically on their campus were actually there that day. Gave Castiel an actual excuse to invite Dean to have a treat. Since it was warm out, ice cream didn’t seem too out of place.
“So uh… about the other day,” Dean started, surprised when he saw Cas shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, “Samandriel found me and explained things.” Castiel took a chance and looked up. Dean looked confused and then embarrassed in the span of a few seconds.
“It’s okay, I mean, at first I thought Samandriel was being mean because I didn’t think someone like you would ever...anyway, he explained everything and I thought it was kind of sweet.”
“Oh, well...I guess I uh, I can be grateful you don’t think it’s creepy or weird, huh?” Dean said, awkwardly laughing at his own stupidity.
“No, I would be the last person to judge you for that...I mean…” Castiel laughed a little and held up his camera. They reached the circle of trucks and Castiel quickly bought them both a bowl of ice cream. Castiel went with probably the most boring, vanilla with a drizzle of caramel and some oreos on the top where Dean’s was a little more colorful.
“If your...if you taking photos of me or the team or anyone would have been a problem, Cas...I’d have said something, I don’t want you feeling guilty about that,” Dean said, biting into his superman flavored ice cream. It made him feel like a ten year old to order it but fuck if he was turning down the opportunity to get his favorite. “I mean, you’re a photographer, right? That’s what you do.”
“Yeah but…” Castiel sighed and went to his favorite tree where he loved to read or study under. It had two rather large exposed roots that worked as backrests and Castiel lowered down against one while Dean sat across from him.
“Here,” he said and handed Dean his camera, his cheeks already scarlet.
“Are you sur-” he started but Castiel seemed pretty damn sure when he nodded quickly.
Dean scrolled through the photos, all of which were very nice, for what little he knew about photography. But then there was a strange theme...Typically a sunrise, occasionally a photo of a flower, usually upclose, then a few of him, mostly only him, and then a sunset, rinse repeat.
“I mean, not that I’m complaining here but why is there only like landscape stuff, and some flowers...and then me?” Dean asked, not realizing why the photos of him had remained when the others were obviously so much better.
“This is my personal camera. I don’t use this one for school,” Castiel said and then bit his lip as his face continued to burn, “I-I only take photos of things I find beautiful.”
“Oh,” Dean said, as the full force of the words hit him. “That’s cool.”
Cas thought he was beautiful…
He wanted to run and jump and scream his excitement from the rooftops of every building on campus but he caged that feeling in his belly and instead, reached out to put his hand, palm up, on the grass between them. Eating with his left would be a little more difficult but well worth it if it meant Castiel would be holding the other one.
He waited with bated breath.
Castiel swallowed hard and only hesitated for a split second before he was reaching out too, his heart nearly exploding as their fingers wove together almost naturally. He was sitting under his favorite tree, eating ice cream while having his hand held by someone he’d been crushing on for a year now. He was terrified that this was going to end up just a dream.
But in a dream he wouldn’t be clumsy. His next bite of ice cream landed on his shirt and he scowled at it, “I swear…”
Dean tried not to laugh, it was clear that Cas was upset, he just looked so damn adorable, he couldn’t resist.
“Sorry, sorry… you just looked so sad about the ice cream you won’t get to eat. I’ll go get you some napkins,” he promised, gently loosening his grip just long enough to rush back over to the truck and grab some stuff to get Cas cleaned up with.
“Here you go, sweetheart.”
Castiel smiled softly at the nickname and took the napkins, “It’s okay. I should be thankful, I was just hoping that this all wasn’t a dream and here I go...making a mess,” he laughed a little. He got the ice cream cleaned up as much as he was able to.
“Well it’s not a dream, you can pinch me if you like,” Dean grinned, enjoying the slightly flushed look that came over Castiel’s face when he realized what he’d admitted.
Castiel ducked his face a bit and continued to eat his ice cream. He was sad that he lost a huge portion of it but regardless it was delicious and once they were done, Dean took the empty bowls to the trash. Castiel though maybe that would be the end of it but Dean just plunked right down next to him.
“What now?” Castiel asked, picking at his fingers. He ached to hold Dean’s hand again but was a little anxious to make the move himself.
“Well… what do you usually do around this time? I’ve got a few hours to kill, gotta go to work later though,” he said, reluctantly. He liked his job pretty well and he got paid enough to take care of Sam and most of his own expenses so he couldn’t risk losing it, still...he’d never wanted to call off more in his life.
“Well, usually right about now I’m in my dorm room doing homework,” Castiel laughed softly. He scooted closer to Dean though and mustered up the courage to reach for Dean’s hand this time. A swell of happiness surged through him as their fingers weaved together again.
“I mean you could do that… but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much help,” he teased, something inside him settling a bit at the comfort of having Castiel’s hand in his own. “Oh, hey… you know what I actually know a great place...if you don’t mind a little walking.”
“I don’t mind, as long as I’m with you,” he said before he could think about it. Castiel blushed again and wanted to take it back immediately but the smile on Dean’s face was too precious. It had the swell from before turn into a tidal wave that he was able to make Dean look that pleased.
“Okay, let’s go.”
Dean’s body was pleading with him to stop, he’d already worked himself over the last few days, but they were nearly there and he knew it would relax him if he could just make it a little longer.
Castiel winced as Dean’s hand tightened around his own as they damn near sped walked to wherever they were going. He could hear just how hard Dean was breathing and that was sending little alarm bells to go off in Castiel’s head. Dean was incredibly fit and Castiel knew he played other sports other than lacrosse so to hear Dean nearly gasping had him gently tugging on Dean’s hand.
“Can we sit for a second?” he asked, pointing to a bench.
“Oh...yeah, sure.” Dean felt his joints tense up a bit but he took the seat. It was probably for the best, he’d been half dragging Castiel for the better part of an hour. “Sorry, I just, I get in my own head sometimes and honestly, I was just trying to get up there.”
Dean grunted as he rubbed at his calves. “There’s an um… you don’t have to-I just mean to say there’s a lake, me and a couple of the guys found it last year. I figure it’s nice and warm, would help with the uh, sore muscles and stuff...if you have any. Gods know I do.”
“No, I want to go, just need to sit down for a second is all,” Castiel said, “You have been working harder than usual at practice,” he said once they’d been sitting for a couple of minutes.
“I know, I was trying to burn myself out so I didn’t have to think about stuff...I won’t be doing that anymore,” he promised quietly, squeezing gently at Castiel’s hand. He caught a wince out of the corner of his eye and looked down to see that his own handprint was pretty red against Castiel’s skin.
“Fuck...sorry sweetheart, I didn’t-”
“Dean, it’s okay,” Castiel said quickly. Though his fingers were a bit sore, he refused to let Dean feel guilty about it, “I just need a few more minutes and then we can keep going,” he said.
“Okay, we should switch sides...I don’t want to hurt you.” He answered, standing up to move to the other side of the small bench where he could interlock his left hand with Cas’ right, careful not to let his grip be too tight.
Castiel moved his left hand out of sight and flexed his fingers. They were only a little stiff, nothing to cry about. He gave Dean a gentle squeeze with his other hand and rose up from the bench, “We can continue now if you want?” Castiel asked.
“Okay, sure...we can take our time though,” Dean said softly, reminding himself and Cas that he would do better. It wasn’t like it was a race anyway. Though he was looking forward to getting into the water. The sun had been out all day and it would likely be at least a little warm and would soothe his aching muscles.
Castiel nodded. They started up a much slower pace, allowing for Castiel to stop several times to take photos. A couple being of Dean of course.
“Okay, so what I’m talking about is just over behind that tree, get your camera ready,” he grinned, slipping his shirt off over his head.
Castiel’s brain short circuited for a split second at the sight of Dean’s naked chest. He’d seen it plenty of times before but never this close. He snapped out of it and bit his lip, raising up his camera to let Dean know he was ready.
“Come closer,” he said, waiting until Cas was near enough so that he could see the cliff’s edge. Then he grinned wide, went to the edge of the platform, and stepped off. Shouting excitedly as the air pushed against his skin before he dove into the warm water.
Castiel quickly took the shots and then laughed loudly when Dean resurfaced. He looked through the shots, keeping the ones he liked and then continued to take pictures of Dean swimming around with a huge smile on his face.
“C’mon down...you don’t have to get into the water but come down here at least… wanna see you,” he called out, dragging a hand out to motion for Cas to be closer in whatever form that took.
Castiel found a path he could take down that would hopefully not trip him and managed to get down to the water level. He got a few more closer up shots, capturing the way Dean smiled at him now that he was in view. It was probably going to be one of his favorites.
“Is it warm?” Castiel asked.
“It’s not bad, but it might take a little getting used to, if you wanna join me. But I promise, I won’t think less of you, if you don’t. It’s not like I gave you any kind of warning or time to prep-” Dean’s breath hitched in his throat when Castiel pulled his shirt over his head. He’d already sat his camera down further back, making sure to keep it away from the water.
Whether it was the temptation of the water being cool against his warm skin or being close to Dean, Castiel wasn’t sure where the sudden bravado came from but he quickly stripped down to his boxers. He was nervous, his body was nowhere near as fit as Dean’s and his skin was much paler in comparison as well. There was a small hill, much smaller than the one Dean dove off of but it would do for now. He threw Dean a smile before grabbing at his glasses and jumping in.
Dean swam over quickly, just to make sure Cas didn’t get hurt in the landing. The poor guy had a tendency to be a bit clumsy and Dean didn’t want him hurting himself.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, freaking out a little because none of them had ever jumped from where Cas had come in.
Castiel gasped a little, the water much cooler than he expected, “Mmhmm,” he said and wiped some of the water off his face. He forgot for two seconds he had his glasses in his hand, slightly panicking when everything was blurry. He quickly pushed his glasses back on and looked around, “The water does feel nice,” he said.
“Glad you’re enjoying it,” he said, softly and slowly wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist. It was a bit soon for them to be so close, but Dean couldn’t keep away from him now that he’d finally stopped hiding himself away at a distance. “Not too cold is it?”
Castiel jumped slightly at the touch and tried to not shy away from it. He’d had boyfriends before but they never lasted long. Two of which had complained about his lack of affection towards them. He didn’t want that to happen between him and Dean. Hesitantly he placed his hands on Dean’s arms and realized he enjoyed the touch. A lot. He slowly dragged his fingers up his biceps until his palms rested on Dean’s shoulders.
“No. it’s cooler than I thought it would be. It feels good on my skin though,” he said.
“I don’t know about the water but I think your skin feels pretty good all on it’s own,” Dean teased, a chuckle warming his throat. “One day I’m gonna buy you one of those underwater camera thingamajigs and bring you back here. There’s this little cavern over by the other side, it can look really cool when the sun is sparkling on the water.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful!” Castiel said happily as he subconsciously moved closer.
“C’mon, I’ll show you.” Dean said, reluctantly pulling away but he held out his hand and Castiel put his into it unblinkingly and something that felt like home settled in his chest.
Castiel quickly spun around his dorm room, making sure everything was cleaned up as much as he was able to get it. He lived in a single, thank God for not having to deal with a roommate. Thought it meant he had only himself to blame when everything got piled up.
Dean was on his way over, possibly going to stay the night like they had planned. He just hoped that Dean’s work or teammates wouldn’t ruin it. Again. He checked the mini fridge for the hundredth time to make sure Dean’s favorite soda was still inside along with a few snacks here and there.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a knock on his door, even though he knew it would be Dean. Castiel did one more look over of his room and then his appearance before getting the door pulled open, “Hello Dean,” he said, moving out of the way.
“Hey sweetheart,” Dean said, pushing forward and pecking softly at Castiel’s warm lips.
When he pulled away, a small chuckle left his lips. “You’re ridiculous,” he said, but he loved every second of it. His boyfriend looked friggin’ adorable in his dorky bee pajamas.
Castiel shrugged, having lost the feeling of embarrassment when it came to his favorite pajamas. The hoodie was rather large on him, reaching his knees and bright yellow with black stripes. His pants were black with cartoon bumble bees all over them. He playfully pulled Dean in for another kiss and smiled up at him, “I can be,” he said and then close the door.
“How was work today?”
“Not so bad, the days go faster when I have something to look forward to,” Dean answered, kissing his boyfriend again before settling down on the bed.
Castiel beamed at him for that and nodded, handing Dean the remote then fished out one of the sodas he had gotten for Dean, “Here,” he said. His cell phone buzzed in his pocket.
“Oh! My package from Amazon finally arrived, do you mind if I go downstairs real quick and get it?” he asked bouncing on his toes a bit.
“Sure, I’ll…occupy myself, snoop a little, that ok?”
“I don’t mind,” he said with a shrug, he gave Dean a quick peck on the lips and hurried out of the room.
Dean grinned, reaching for the laptop. He figured they could watch some netflix or something for a while before they fell asleep. He pulled it onto his lap and was getting ready to type in the address bar when a full list of websites popped up.
‘Cas, you gotta learn how to clear your browser history, dork…’ he said to himself, until he blinked a few times at the familiar logo.
Dean bit his lip. He’d mostly been joking about going through Castiel’s personal stuff, but damn if it hadn’t fell into his lap, in a very literal kind of way. Curiosity got the better of him and Dean clicked one of the many options for Pornhub on the long list of results that came up.
At the top right he was signed in and there was an actual collection of his favorites and Dean swallowed as he clicked into view what it held. His eyes glazed over some of the faces, all similarly dirty blondes with dark haired partners, most labeled Daddy somewhere in the title of the video.
Castiel clutched the package in his hand with a vice grip. It was his new lens for his school camera and could not wait to play with it. He got back to his room in record time and slipped inside quickly. It didn't phase him when he saw Dean on his computer but froze when the lid of the laptop slammed shut and Dean gave him what he assumed was a “deer in headlights” look.
“Are you alright?”
“Uh-“ he thought about making something up, some kind of lie to make this less awkward but it would all come out when Cas opened his laptop again, so there wasn’t much use.
“First, I’d just like to say that I was totally joking about the snooping thing, but uh-“ he started, nervously rubbing at his neck. “I might have accidentally intentionally found your porn collection.”
The package in Castiel's arms slipped from his arms and hit the floor. It took a long second of staring at it before he damn near screamed, “Shit!”
Dean scrambles off the bed to try to help Cas get the package but he’d already picked it up before he could get there. “Crap, I’m so sorry sweetheart is it ok?”
Castiel held his breath as he ripped the package open and didn't breathe until he had the actual lense in hands.
“Oh thank God,” he groaned, falling back on his butt as he cradled the lens. It was perfectly fine. Not one scratch.
Dean found his porn.
His brain went from one extreme to the other. Now that he knew the lense was okay, his mind fast forwarded to the next issue at hand.
Dean found his porn. Porn that was a very particular type. Usually he would watch whatever but lately, he'd been sticking to ones that looked like Dean and if he was really lucky, he found ones where both actors looked like Dean and himself. Not to mention the new found kink he had...
“I-I don't even know what to say...if you're disgusted or freaked out I'll totally understand if you want to l-leave,” he said, keeping his eyes down.
“What?” Dean said, staring blankly at him. Why would he be-Ohhh yeah the porn thing. “No no, sweetheart no. I will never make you feel weird for liking something. I mean, I’ll be honest I’ve never called anyone Daddy in bed but whatever flips your switch.”
Castiel's face burned so intensely it hurt. He covered his eyes and groaned. The mere fact that Dean wasn't running away screaming was probably the only thing that kept him from crawling under the bed.
“I haven't either but I found one video and….yeah,” he said, his voice muffled behind his hands.
“Well if you wanna give it a go sometime we could try it...yknow when you’re ready for that kinda stuff…” Dean answered, trying to force himself to relax. He wasn’t really hinting at anything, hell they’d never even really had a make out session, but Dean was happy. Actually, he was happier with Cas than he’d ever been with anyone.
Castiel peeked at Dean through his fingers and lowered his hands once he saw the earnest expression on his boyfriend's face.
“You'd let me call you that? It doesn't freak you out?” He asked.
“Nah, there’s weirder things to be into, Cas. Rhonda Hurley put me in a pair of satin pink panties and it wasn’t so bad,” Dean laughed awkwardly, doing what he could to diffuse the tension.
Castiel chuckled at that and finally lowered his hands, “I guess. I just never had the urge before with my previous relationships. The sex was always very straightforward and ‘vanilla’” he said using his fingers for the air quotes.
“You-,” Dean sputtered a bit, not even realizing how stupid it was for him to assume that Castiel was a virgin but he had. “I uh, I guess I was wrong about you Cas. I don’t know why I just kind of figured you hadn’t been with anyone before,” Dean swallowed hard, “Were they all uh guys or…?”
Castiel shrugged, Dean's assumption about him didn't bother him. Everyone he had ever met thought the same thing.
“Yes. I knew I was gay from a very young age,” he said, leaning against the bed as he gingerly placed the lens back in its case.
“Oh, that’s cool...I was uh- I was pretty confused about a lot of things when I was younger, though my dad's ideas about things didn’t really help,” Dean answered, feeling more vulnerable than he had in a long time. “I’ve actually never...with a guy before, is that, is that okay?”
Castiel's eyes widened and without a word he held his hand out, gently pulling Dean to sit next to him while still clutching his hand.
“Dean, of course that's okay. I never though in a million years that I would have more experience then the charming Mr. Winchester though,” he teased and then laid his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.
“Would you rather do research about it on your own or talk?” He asked.
Dean felt his face go warm and he laughed nervously. “I uh, I’ve done the research...just never, y'know put it into practice.”
“Well that's good at least. My first boyfriend was an idiot. Thought his dick was magical and would just….fit without prepping me. Jerk wouldn't even agree to wear a condom. Needless to say we didn’t last long,” Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes. At least Dean knew what he was getting into and Castiel wouldn't have to teach him everything, just guide him. The thought of being Dean's first guy was exciting and nerve wracking all in the same breath.
“Oh,” Dean understood Castiel’s anger, even felt it himself but then there was a thrum of worry worming it’s way up his spine. “If-if I don’t do something right though, I’m gonna need you to tell me. I’ll do whatever I can to fix it but I might not be great and if we’re going to do this, at any point, I need to know that you’re not going to be upset...I can’t have that hanging over my head.”
Castiel smiled at Dean's concern, it was sweet how he wanted to treat him well. He kissed at Dean's cheek and hugged around Dean's arm a bit more, “Don't worry, I will.”
As much as he’d like to say he put it in the back of his mind and left it there, Dean was only human and Castiel was fucking gorgeous even in pajamas with a loose hoodie covering up his everything he had to be one of the most beautiful people Dean had ever seen.
So the night of sharing a bed was a little awkward, given that he had to will himself not to react like a stupid teenager, but overall he was able to control it. During the day when they went out and explored a bit, it was easier, but now they were snuggled up in bed again and he was fidgeting with his fingers to keep from pulling Cas into a make out session that may or may not lead to more, depending on what his boyfriend wanted.
Castiel laughed at the scene playing out on the screen of his laptop. He had somehow talked Dean into watching The Umbrella Academy with him even though Castiel had a feeling his boyfriend was not paying attention. He was tense and any time he touched Castiel he would pull his hand back almost immediately.
Sighing a little Castiel wiggled back a bit until his back was pressed flush against Dean’s chest and smiled when Dean’s arms naturally went around him. Now that felt much better. And since he was more than a little distracted now, he noticed the way Dean tried to pivot his hips away from him as well. Castiel grinned a little, he was getting the impression that it would be up to him to start things.
He waited for the episode to finish, not wanting to miss the ending even though he’d seen it over a hundred times now. Without a word, he switched to his playlist and selected something random just so they would have a little background noise. He turned to face Dean and promptly sat in his lap.
“Hey,” he answered back, it wasn’t unusual for Cas to get close to him but Dean’s active imagination kept spinning to what might happen sometime in the near future and whether or not Castiel even wanted that with him.
Castiel smiled, the nervousness was easy to see in Dean’s eyes and usually, his boyfriend was nothing but brave. He cupped Dean’s face and gave him a firm peck on the lips, “And you call me the adorable one,” he chuckled. Dean’s mouth parted to probably say something sarcastic but Castiel cut him off with a roll of his hips down against Dean’s.
“Fuhhh, Cas- are you...are you sure?” Dean asked, though it felt amazing and he didn’t want to stop. Dean Winchester was usually cocky as hell and full of confidence, even if he was faking it all but with Cas he just-he couldn’t hide it, couldn’t lie, he was scared.
Castiel licked his bottom lip and nodded, scooting as close as he could, “I want to have sex with you Dean,” he said bluntly, loving the way Dean’s face heated up with a blush. Castiel wound his arms around Dean’s shoulders and continued to roll his hips, changing the pattern of them every so often. The best so far was when he did a figure eight and Dean’s eyes rolled up, “We haven’t known each other long but, I’m hoping I’m right in assuming you’re not going to be strictly vanilla are you ?” Castiel asked against Dean’s ear.
“I uh,” Dean swallowed and licked his lips. “I’m down with being a little adventurous but honestly Cas, I’d like to make sure I have this y’know, that I’m doing okay first and then we can get into the dirty talk,” he said, choking a bit on his words as Castiel reached between them, hand digging into Dean’s sweats with ease.
“That’s all I need to know,” Castiel hummed and then moaned loudly when he got a good grip on Dean’s cock. It was far bigger than any of his previous boyfriends and Castiel shuddered at the thought of it pushing into his body.
“We’ll start slow Dean, don’t worry,” he said and then gave him a wink as he wiggled back, gently pushing Dean down with his other hand until he was flat on his back. The other hand continued to stroke Dean’s cock slowly, his grip loose to keep Dean from getting to the end too quickly.
“Okay, yeah...you’re uh you’re taking control?” he asked, semi hopeful but also a little ashamed. If Cas had been a girl he’d have had no problems, well that might not have been entirely true. If Cas was a girl he’d still be CAS, and that alone made everything feel different than the others. Forcing his thoughts back, he grinned. “I could get behind that idea.”
Castiel blushed a little and then nodded, “I can. For now,” he said and then sat back, his fingers curling around the band of Dean’s sleep pants. He raised his brow in question and smiled when Dean’s hips lifted. Castiel pulled them along with Dean’s boxers off and tossed them to the floor. The groan that left his lips was deep and hungry as he caught sight of Dean’s cock. It was thick and flushed red, the tip already glistening a bit.
Castiel crawled forward until he was hovering over Dean’s face and leaned in, “Then I want you to take charge of me, Daddy .”
Dean’s cock pulsed in Castiel’s hand as the word went through him. He hadn’t expected such a clear reaction but fuck if it wasn’t goddamn sexy, at least the way Cas said it. The panties had been okay, he hadn’t hated it...but nothing like the reaction that Castiel had gotten out of him with one, short, word. A word he hadn’t expected to use in bed, well...ever. But his body was strung tight like a bow ready to shoot.
“Fuck sweetheart, we’re going to have to uh, take a break from that or I’m not going to last until the good part,” Dean blushed, admitting he was already so close to coming was a little embarrassing but Cas was everything and he couldn’t be expected to keep full control over himself with something like that thrown in the mix.
Castiel kissed at Dean’s cheek, “I’ll make you cum now and then I can teach you how to open me properly. It’ll take a bit, probably long enough for you to get hard again. So don’t hold back,” Castiel said and then quickly crawled back down. He gave Dean a shy smile before proceeding to wrap his lips around the crown of Dean’s cock.
Boyfriend #2 had his own faults but from him, Castiel learned he had absolutely no gag reflex. He rolled his eyes up to lock onto Dean’s as he continued to slip Dean’s cock into his mouth until he was pressed into his throat where he moaned.
“Holyshiiiii-” Dean grunted, feeling a goddamn vacuum around his cock. That had been another thing he hadn’t tried but fuck if Cas hadn’t picked up some tricks. He closed his eyes, wanting to spill but also, he wasn’t quite ready to give up the feeling of having Castiel’s mouth wrapped around him.
His hand went to Castiel’s hair naturally, and the guy just fucking swallowed him. Instinctively, Dean tightened his fist in the short dark spikes of hair and drew out a sound he’d never heard before. He was just about to ask if Cas was okay when the guy started to hum around him and Dean’s body reacted instantly, filling his mouth with hot white ropes.
Castiel’s eyes fluttered shut as Dean filled his mouth. He had never truly enjoyed another man cumming in his mouth, mostly would finish them off with his hand but for whatever reason, Dean was different. Castiel swallowed everything Dean gave him and gave one last long suck on the head before pulling back, “You taste good,” he said, tilting his head a little. He didn’t know if it was because of how deeply he already felt for Dean that affected the taste but he didn’t care, it didn’t make him gag and that’s all he cared about.
“I uh,” Dean flushed and panting as he slowly came back down from his climax. “I umm I’ve been eating a lot of pineapple. I heard it’s good for y’know, well...that.”
They both chuckled a bit and Dean laid there for a moment, just catching his breath before he leaned up. “Okay, now...now it’s your turn. Let’s get started...I have some supplies, in my bag...if you need them.”
Castiel nodded eagerly and kissed Dean’s cheek as he hopped off the bed. He found the new bottle of lube and a box of condoms in the front pocket and came back. Dean was still sprawled out and it only made Castiel laugh as he placed the items next to him. He undressed but froze at Dean’s groan.
“What? Did you want to take my clothes off?”
“Well I wouldn’t have said no but...fuck Cas, you look amazing. It’s-it’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this, it’s good, really good,” he said, biting his lip. “I could uh, do the rest if you want,” he offered, not sure if Cas would rather just get on with it or not. He seemed to be knowledgeable enough about everything, and Dean had done his own research but still…
He wasn’t a rose petal on the bed and lit candles kind of guy but Cas was being pretty damn practical about everything and it left him feeling a little weird. Girls expected more than that, they expected him to make them feel special, loved even, even if he didn’t feel it, they wanted it and Dean always managed to provide it but with Cas he just felt out of his league.
Castiel nodded and waited for Dean to sit up. He gave his boyfriend a soft smile and lifted his hands for his shirt to be lifted off, “I like it when you touch me,” he said, watching as Dean started to push down his pants.
“I like touching you, you feel good...right,” Dean said, holding his breath as Cas’ cock slipped out from under the band of his boxer briefs. He swallowed. It was longer than he expected for some reason. It wasn’t quite as thick as his own but he was pretty sure it wasn’t fully hard and already it was pretty damn impressive.
He let out the breath he was holding and closed his eyes. “You are gorgeous sweetheart, C’mon, let’s get you the rest of the way out of these,” he added tugging at the cloth until it was loose enough to fall to the floor.
Castiel stepped out of the pants, kicking them out of the way with his toes. He continued to stand there, his fingers going into Dean’s hair. Usually Castiel would be incredibly self conscious at this point but the way Dean was looking up at him, there was nothing but warmth spreading through him.
“Scoot back,” he said and waited for Dean to do so. Castiel crawled onto the bed and laid back, reaching out for Dean to hover over him. “I know porn and some research say it’s better to prep with me on my hands and knees but I like it like this,” he said and blushed, “I can see your face and kiss you.”
“However you want it sweetheart,” Dean promised, “I just want to make it good for you.”
Castiel nodded and then pulled the bottle of lube closer. He got some drizzled onto Dean’s fingers, “It’s always cold at first, try to warm it up before touching me,” he said and smiled when Dean rubbed his fingers together.
“That I knew,” Dean grinned, making sure that his fingers were nice and warm before he attempted anything. “Do you want me to just- y’know get at it or to distract you first?”
“You don’t have to but I like being kissed,” he said and huffed out a laugh when Dean quickly did so. Castiel hugged him closer, hiking his leg up to give Dean more room. He jumped a little at the first hesitant touch and pulled back just enough to say, “Massage at it first before you try pushing it in,” he said and then yanked Dean back in for a deep kiss.
Dean took the instruction as if it were his law and slowly started to tease his boyfriend a little. Or at least he hoped he was, his finger slid wetly between Castiel’s cheeks until he found the small opening where he teased and rubbed.
He kept that up until Cas pulled away and begged for more, feeling a little more reassured, since he hadn’t done anything wrong and Cas was being amazing with the directions and talking and shit, Dean grinned up at him. “More, who .”
Castiel flushed, his teeth sinking into his now swollen bottom lip, he wiggled a little, “More Daddy , please?” he asked shyly.
“Good boy,” Dean answered, feeling a little rush of something through him. It wasn’t quite as noticeable as the first time because he was already overwhelmed with warmth and pleasure, and the thoughts of what it would be like to press in just a little.
He added more lube to his fingers and warmed them up again before going back to gently press against the soft opening.
Castiel shuddered at the praised and mewled when the tip of Dean’s finger pressed into him, “Like that Daddy, just like that,” he gasped, fighting the urge to push Dean’s hand against him a bit harder. He’d teach Dean later that he wasn’t fragile and that he craved for someone to be rough with him, to manhandle him. For now, this was good.
Dean kept going, pressing in and out, going deeper when he could without feeling like he was going to hurt Cas. Especially when he asked for more, begged for more. Dean loved that, he loved the neediness in Castiel’s voice along with the sweet sound of his drawn out moans. “You ready for another one, baby boy? You’re opening up so good for me.”
Castiel nodded eagerly, “Yes, yes,” he groaned, his back arching as he felt Dean’s second finger breached him. He waited until both fingers were in completely when he whined, “N-Now crook your- OH GOD LIKE THAT!” Castiel cried out, fingers gripping Dean’s shoulders tightly.
“Holy shit,” he’d never imagined a guy would react like that. Sure, he’d seen it in porn but Dean wasn’t an idiot he knew a lot of that shit was exaggerated, though not as much as in het videos. Still...Cas half bucked himself off the bed when he brought his fingers around like-fuck like that, damn. He made sure to mentally notate the angle, though he knew it would take a little bit of effort trying to find it again, still...that was not something he wanted to forget.
Castiel jerked and quickly reached down to grip onto Dean’s wrist, “G-Give me a second...holy crap,” he laughed a little. It had been a really long time since someone had touched him like this. He had toys that could reach that special place inside but it was always much more intense when someone else would do it.
“Ungh, that felt really good but you keep doing that I’m going to cum really fast,” he said and leaned up to kiss the concerned pout off Dean’s lips, “Try another finger but don’t touch my prostate, not yet.”
Dean started to ask if Cas was sure but he guessed the guy knew his own body better than he did, so he pulled out gently added some more lube, warmed it up, and started again. He stretched his fingers out a bit before pushing the third in, just to make sure there was room because Cas was fucking tight and he didn’t want to hurt the guy.
It took a few minutes but eventually Dean worked the third finger in, doing his best to stretch them out slowly, gently, not rushing it. He wanted the process to be as painless and easy as possible and as much as his cock was starting to warm up to the idea of a round two, he didn’t want to go too hard too fast. Though he did still try to hit that spot in Cas every so often along the way.
“Fuck, sweetheart...so tight,” he said, wiggling one of his three fingers what little bit he could as he tried to stretch him further.
Castiel grunted, his head pushing back against the pillow, he was about to tell Dean to start scissoring his fingers when he finally figured it out, “Ungh, yes like that. Dean...are...are you ready?” he gasped, his body wiggling around, the need for something other than fingers becoming a little intense. Instead of waiting for an answer he reached down and gripped Dean’s half hard cock, giving it a few tight strokes.
“Fuck,” Dean hissed, the feeling of Castiel’s fist wrapping around him was sudden and a little overwhelming after having ignored his own dick for quite some time while they were getting things ready. “I-fuck, yeah Cas...condom...my bag did you?”
Castiel nodded, his free hand flinging out to snatch at the unopened box. He ripped it open with his teeth and laughed at the guttural moan Dean let out, “What?” he asked with a knowing smile and plucked out one of the condoms.
“You’re fucking sexy, that’s what...it’s like you don’t even realize it,” Dean answered, his voice going soft toward the end.
Castiel blushed and looked down a bit, “I’ll have to take your word for it,” he said.
He hated that he had to let go of Dean but he needed both hands to get the stupid condom out and winked up at his boyfriend as he pushed it onto Dean’s cock smoothly, “Do you want me like this or another position?” Castiel asked, brushing his hands up Dean’s chest.
“Oh no, this one is not my decision, not this time. I’ll-y’know once I figure out the ropes I promise to take control more often but you do what is most comfortable for you, and we can switch or something if we need to,” he said, “I’ll get more comfortable, and I won’t worry or freak out about hurting you forever, but this one, this is your choice..., please.”
Castiel gently brought Dean down for a soft kiss, nuzzling their noses once they parted, “Okay,” he said and pushed at Dean’s shoulder to get him lay back. Once he was flat, Castiel straddled him, reaching behind to position Dean just right.
“Just breathe Dean,” Castiel said, pressing his free hand against Dean’s chest, right over his heart. Slowly and not once breaking eye contact, Castiel slowly sank down on Dean.
“Fuuuuuhh-” his words cut off with his breath did. He had to force himself to suck in air again before slowly pushing it out. The pressure was a tight heat that he had never experienced. The girls he’d been with were all warm and wet and tight but nothing compared to the way Cas was squeezing around him in that moment.
“Just breathe,” Castiel repeated, his mouth slack at how split open he was. There was only a slight bit of pain, a dull ache but thanks to Dean’s diligent fingers, it was quickly fading away. He stayed still, even though every muscle in his body was aching to move. Dean was still gasping, his own body tense.
“Shhh, Dean, try to relax,” Castiel cooed, dragging his blunt nails over Dean’s skin.
“It’s- fuck Cas you’re-fuuuck,” he said, unable to fully voice anything. Honestly, he’d be shocked if he was coherent. It was a new feeling, something he’d never imagined and it was a little overwhelming. A lot overwhelming.
He pushed back his thoughts and forced it all down doing what he could to follow Castiel’s command. He took slow labored breaths, in and out until he relaxed. It felt even better after that, after he was able to focus on the pleasure instead of the sheer tightness and all the differences between what he knew previously and what he was feeling at that moment.
“Okay, I’m-I’m good, you can-ungh,” Dean said, as Cas seemed to read his mind and he started to move.
Castiel rolled his hips slowly, wanting to keep things light until Dean was truly ready. He threaded their fingers together, pressing their palms against each other for a moment before Castiel placed Dean’s hands on his hips. It took a minute but Dean was finally relaxed, far enough away from the edge as he was going to be. Still, Castiel kept it slow, relishing in the feeling of Dean filling him so completely and deep. Castiel threw his head back with a moan, quickening his hips just a notch.
He tried to stay relaxed but it was all so new and different and it felt so fucking good.
Overwhelmed by the feeling of it all and the emotions he felt for Cas, Dean found it hard to breathe. Thankfully, his boyfriend kept reminding him just how important it was. It took a bit but eventually Cas really started moving and Dean’s instincts took over, he pulled down on the slender curve of his lover’s hips and bucked up with force until their skin was slapping roughly against one another.
“Fuck, fuck baby boy… I’m-” he stopped, forcing himself back from the edge in favor of trying to push his lover over the edge first. “C’mon, c’mon Cas, let go for Daddy.”
Castiel choked out a sob, that word along with the command going straight to pulsing cock. He ground down roughly, his entire body tensing up before he threw his head back with a cry of Dean’s name as he came all over Dean’s stomach.
“Oh...oh god!” he panted, his hips still moving despite how much he was trembling, “Cum for me Daddy.”
Dean couldn’t control it, watching Cas fall apart was already too much but the gorgeous body on top of him shaking and panting with release. The small, barely there bit of control he had held onto slipped right out of his hands and he arched up off the bed his orgasm spilling out in pulsing beats of blinding pleasure.
A string of curses fell from his lips as he shook through the waves of satisfaction rolling through him.
When he was finally able to breathe he pulled Cas down into a kiss and pulled roughly at his hair. “Fuck, that was-fuck, Cas…”
Castiel hummed against Dean’s lips. He sat back up, pulling Dean with him and hugged around Dean’s shoulders. They continued to kiss, most of the time it was deep and biting but Castiel got them to slow down a few times. At one point Castiel had to lift up a little so Dean could slip out of him and they got rid of the condom. Then they were back to almost lazily making out.
“So, how was your first time with a man?” Castiel laughed softly, his nails scratching at Dean’s scalp.
“You are amazing, obviously...and of course it was unbelievable,” Dean grinned, squeezing harder around the warm sweaty body on top of him. He felt as if he was being clingy but couldn’t care less, not with everything else he felt in that moment. “You’re always unbelievable. Just when I think I have a handle on how awesome you are, you just prove me wrong, like it’s nothing.”
Castiel laughed, “At least I keep things interesting I guess?” he said, nuzzling against Dean’s cheek and then kissing at his jaw. Carefully he climbed off Dean’s lap and laid down on his side.
“You do more than that,” Dean promised, kissing him against the forehead before sitting up and quickly removing the condom and tying it off. “I’ll grab something to uh, clean everything up with.”
Castiel watched Dean move around the room with a smile on his face. With how well their first time went, he couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.