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Missing You

Chapter Text


Sure, he was handsome and he was charming. He was a lot of things she’d normally be attracted to, but after her divorce, she’d sworn off a relationship. No strings attached, mindless sex was all she wanted from time to time. And even getting to that point took time, for two years after her acrimonious divorce she’d sworn off men entirely. That was until she’d met Richard. He wasn’t really her type. Hillary normally went for the intellectual sort, but where had that led her in the past, straight to heartache.

Instead, she decided to go for the pretty to look at type, and that was Richard. He couldn’t think his way out of a wet paper bag with holes at both ends, but he was fantastic in bed and was just as uninterested in commitment as she was. And while he was able to fulfill her physical needs her emotional and mental needs were starving. She needed an equal someone she could talk to and not just about the latest protein powder at the gym or how much he could bench press.

That is where he fits in. They literally ran into each other, he was a powerful D.C. lobbyist for the Biotech Innovation Organization, she the senior senator from New York. She’d heard of him, how he used his charisma and charm to get what and who he wanted, but Hillary had never laid eyes on the man until the day she barreled right into the hard-masculine planes of his chest. She was rushing to her next meeting, head buried in her Blackberry, quickly firing off an email. Hillary was completely unaware of her surroundings and that’s when she walked right into him. Clearly, he too was not paying attention.

She was about to snap and tell him to watch where he was going until she looked up into his eyes. Eyes that were sparkling with hidden mirth that she was not privy too, his full mouth quirking up into a smile, making the sides of his eyes crinkle.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going Senator Rodham” his words were laced with his Arkansas drawl, the rasp of his voice going straight to her core and she briefly wondered what it would sound like saying her name in breathless ecstasy.


That faithful meeting had now turned into something more. From that day on they just both happened to “run” into the other at least two days a week. She hated how she felt around him while loving it at the same time. But she was aware that this wasn’t casual and that was not what she wanted especially with a man like Bill Clinton. That was her reason for turning tail when she saw him and trying to walk as fast as her legs would carry her.

“Hillary!” he called out to her. He was certain she’d seen him, and he was confused about why she seemed to be avoiding him. Bill weaved his way through the hordes of people milling around, and he silently cursed when he lost sight of her.

Hillary’s chest was heaving with the exertion it took to get away from him. Once she’d stopped running and was practically wedged at the back of a column hiding from him she felt sufficiently stupid, but this was exactly the type of reaction she did not want.

Thankfully the rest of her day was busy, and she didn’t have time to dwell on her problem named Bill Clinton and she really hoped he got the message to leave her alone. Although the thought made her heart drop.

Bill for his part was not put off. He knew much more about Senator Rodham than he’d ever let on. It was his nature to research and read up on anything he was interested in and he was certainly interested in her. He was well aware that Hillary was no coward and if she were truly not interested in him any longer she’d just come out and say it instead the opposite happened, and she ran away from him, and the feelings he was certain were growing inside of her just as they were in him.

He just had to plan out his next move carefully. It was time for him to up the ante if he was going to get through to her. While he was going in full pursuit mode it did not escape him that he needed to be delicate as well. Her husband had broken her heart from what he’d found out and the divorce was tough. It made sense that she was once bitten and twice shy. Bill bit his bottom lip thinking about the challenge that lay ahead of him and how sweet the victory would be once he conquered her and made her his own.


She found herself looking for him. Every time she stepped out of her office she expected him to be there, but he wasn’t. And he hadn’t called. Perhaps he’d gotten the message and that realization filled her with sorrow.

“He sure did give up easy, maybe he wasn’t that interested, and it was all my imagination” she mused to no one in particular. Hillary walked back to her office after grabbing a quick coffee at the café downstairs.

“Oh, you’re back senator,” her assistant said in a high pitch voice, with a goofy smile on her face. She seemed to be bouncing with barely contained joy.

“Yes, I told you I was just going to get coffee” Hillary stated bewildered by her reaction. As she made move to go into her office Rachel scrambled around her desk and stood there. “Do you need anything?” she just shook her head no.

She turned the knob to her office door and all her confusion washed away when she saw the ginormous bouquet of roses sitting on her desk. Rachel silently closed her door with a smile on her face. Hillary walked to them, her hurt thudding in her chest. She leaned in and inhaled the sweet scent before going in search of a card.

“Looking for this” she jumped nearly knocking the vase over, but he was quickly there righting it before it tumbled to the floor.

“You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed hitting him on the arm, none too gently.

“Sorry I wanted to surprise you” Hillary stood clutching her chest.

“That you did. What are you even doing here?” she found herself getting lost in his eyes as she so often did. She fought against inhaling his cologne and pushing her body against his. He stood over her small frame looking down into her deep blue eyes.

“I wanted to give you those flowers and this” he held up the small card. She stared at it momentarily before reaching up and grasping it from those surgeons’ fingers of his.

“You certainly didn’t have to personally deliver them” she hated herself right now, hated how her voice had an airy lilt and her cheeks burned just at his proximity.

“Oh, but I did, I wanted to see your face when you read the note” her eyebrow arched, and she was curious. Hillary opened the small envelope. She had to fight back the gasp that wanted to escape her body. Oh, how she’d wished he’d let her read it alone. “That bad huh?” he stated as he looked upon her stricken face. Hillary’s head snapped up horrified at what he must think of her reaction, but those fears soon soothed when she saw the smirk on his face. “I thought I’d finally ask you out on a formal date, you know since we’ve been flitting around each other for months now” he stated casually.

For her part she was still quiet, fighting a war between her heart and her head, with her stomach caught in the rapturous middle.

“I can’t I’m too busy” she knew it was lame, he knew it was lame.

“Well at least you didn’t run from me this time” she sagged against her desk, he had definitely noticed.

“What do you want from me?” she asked defeated. He scoffed softly before walking closer to her.

“It would be a shorter answer to tell you what I don’t want” her eyes widened, and she tore her gaze from the burning glacier that was his. He ran his long index finger down her cheek and she couldn’t stop the involuntary shiver that coursed through her cells at his touch. Finally, she mustered up the strength to look at him and speak.

“I don’t know what you think is going on here, or what you think is going to happen, but I think you need to get it out of your head. I’m not interested in anything with you. I’m sorry if you’ve misinterpreted my niceness for something more” he stepped back clutching his chest. She rolled her eyes.

“The details are on that card. I’ll be there tomorrow night, I hope you will as well” Bill stated before leaning in and kissing her gently on her slightly parted lips. The kiss ended as quickly as it began, but the heat where his soft lips had been remained for hours.


I'm not in love
It's just some kind of thing I'm goin' through
And it's not infatuation
Ain't nothin' goin' on between me and you
But I dream about it every night, baby
Wantin' you here with me
Makin' love to me

Chapter Text

She couldn’t believe what she was doing. Hillary had convinced herself that she was not going to show up, but here she was, showing up. Her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest the closer she got to the single table set up in the middle of the expansive garden. When she’d first arrived, she was sure she was in the wrong place, but clearly, she was not.

Bill fought to keep the smile off his face when he saw her walking towards him. She was late and honestly, he’d started to think he’d read her wrong, but here she was and she looked gorgeous. He stood when she was closer and held his hand out to her which she took. Bill pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head.

“So glad you made it” she pushed away from him and sat down. Her fears starting to take over, she shouldn’t be here. He sat across from her still beaming. Bill reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I promise I don’t bite unless you’re into that sort of thing” she was taken aback momentarily but his barely hidden smirk made her giggle.

“I assure you, you won’t be finding out if I am on the first date” she teased back. His full belly laugh causing her to relax.

Hillary had to admit he was excellent company they’d talked about everything from the War of 1812 to the latest Jeopardy champion. She missed this type of intellectual stimulation.

“How did a guy from Arkansas end up in D.C. lobbying for a biotech firm?” she asked before taking another sip of her Chardonnay. He sat back and thought momentarily before speaking. He always spoke with such purpose.

“I thought I was going to be a politician, to be honest, I ran and lost my first ever race and basically gave up. I flitted around for a while teaching at the law school, joining a couple of boards and then I found that I could still make a difference in things I believed in and I had a way with persuading people. So here I am.”

“Yeah, a lobbyist” she responded with mock disgust.

“Oh, dear you wound me. Not all of us are bad you know.”

“So, is that what this is all about” she waved her hand around, taking on a suddenly serious tone. Bill for his part was dumbfounded. “You want me to vote for something, so you decided to wine and dine me” he was truly wounded by her words this time, but he kept that to himself.

“No, Hillary I don’t mix business with pleasure and I’d think you would know after all this time that I wasn’t trying to get you to vote for something” it was immediately known to her that she’d offended him, and she felt awful.

“I’m sorry, I just have a difficult time trusting,” she said as she reached across the table and this time she covered his hand with her own. There was something about this man that made her want to open up to him.

“I heard about your divorce. I’m not trying to get anything tangible from you, Hillary. I just want to spend time with you, get to know you better” his pointed stare when he stated he didn’t want anything tangible from her made her shiver slightly. Bill noticed. “Do you want my jacket? Are you cold?”

“No, I’m not cold” her voice was husky, and she didn’t immediately realize it was her own. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking again. “It’s getting late I need to get going” he just nodded, he wasn’t going to pressure her. They stood together, he silently walked her to her car. When they reached it, he was about to help her to get in when she turned abruptly. Hillary stood on her tiptoes and brought her mouth to his, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down into a sensuous kiss. He pressed her against the car bringing her tightly against him. She felt him become erect against her stomach and it took every ounce of will power for her not to rub herself against him. Bill remembered his silent promise to take things slow and he regretfully extricated himself from her.

“We should slow down” he stated breathlessly. While she was disappointed she agreed. He stepped away from her. “I had a fantastic night, hopefully, we can do this again soon” she just silently nodded. He kissed her forehead before opening her car door. Hillary for her part was rocked to her core. She didn’t understand what kind of spell he had her under that she’d have made such a bold move.

She wasn’t sure when she’d gotten home but suddenly she was in front of her house. Being with him learning so much about him had her in a daze, but as much as she was terrified she wanted more.


She wanted more, and she got more, at least for a time. Then life took over and they found themselves not able to spend as much time together. He was out of the country for most of the month and she was busy working with colleagues on various bills that were to be brought to the Senate floor soon. Although she was busy, he wasn’t far from her thoughts. Hillary continued to play it cool and try to be unaffected by him, even when he made it a point to call and check in on her as much as his schedule allowed.

She chided herself on numerous occasions when she found herself daydreaming about him, wanting to be wrapped in his arms and kissed by his soft lips. This was exactly what she was trying to avoid and as much as she was wanted to stop this she couldn’t. Hillary was normally a woman of immense will power, but there wasn’t enough resolve in the world for her to stop what was happening between her and Bill.

I'm missin you like crazy
Body and soul is achin'
I'm out of control
Missing you so

He was back, but he hadn’t called her or came by to visit and that was torturing her. Hillary paced back and forth doubting if it were all real. Did he really want to be with her? She caught sight of herself in the mirror and hated what she saw. What was happening to her?

I'm not in love, oh no no no
And that's what I just keep tellin' myself
Over and over again

It was well past midnight when he finally was able to get home. He was looking forward to seeing Hillary, but as soon as he landed he was called into the office. Bill was aware that it was late, but he had to talk to her to let her know that he was thinking about her. She still wasn’t convinced about his feelings, but he was going to change that.

He decided to shower and get comfortable before calling her. Bill was willing to take a chance that she was going to be furious with him for calling so late. He lay in bed flipping through the channels as the phone rang, once, twice, three times. He was preparing himself to leave a message when a groggy annoyed voice answered.

“Whatever the fuck you want it could have waited until morning” she wasn’t upset that he’d called so late. She was upset that he thought he had the right to call so late.

“I didn’t want to wait till morning. I wanted to talk to you tonight.”

“You could have done that hours ago when you landed” she caught herself. Bill smiled.

“Oh, so you were keeping track of my flight information which I won’t even ask how you got” he teased her, and she blew out an annoyed breath.

“What do you want William?”

“You have a habit of asking me that Hillary. I think I’ve made it very clear what I want. Whether or not you are going to fight me tooth and nail to get it is really the question that needs to be answered here.”

“I want to see you” she was resigned to her fate.

“I’ll pick you up at five tomorrow” her heart leaped.

“I look forward to it” she wanted to say more to him before hanging up, but she kept it at that least she revealed too much. Hillary laid back in bed staring at the ceiling, the anticipation of seeing him crawling through her.

And I'm not the least bit amused by it baby
Yet still I don't want to be with nobody else
And I dream about you all the time
Touchin' and kissin' me
And makin' love to me

Chapter Text

He was nervous, that wasn’t a feeling that was familiar to him, but he had jitters. Bill cursed himself all day wishing he’d told her he would pick her up much sooner than five. Mercifully the time came for him to pick her up. She’d called and told him to come to her office because she was running late.

Bill parked in the visitor’s lot and awaited her arrival. He checked his watch impatiently, she clearly was running late. He’d been around the radio dial four times when finally, Hillary appeared. He jumped out of the car and was about to hug her, but he noticed she seemed to have trepidation instead he opened the door for her and she slipped inside the car.

“It’s good to see you Hillary” he stated once he’d gotten back into the car.

“Sorry about that, I’m just trying to maintain some privacy” it was obvious to her that he was bothered by her reaction or lack thereof. “I’m really happy to see you too by the way” she gently patted his leg. He looked over at her with a small smile.

“I didn’t make any reservations, so I’m open to wherever you’d like to go for dinner” he pulled out of the parking space.

“I’m not hungry” she stated giving him a pointed stare. He glanced over at her briefly.

“Did you eat dinner already?” she placed her hand back on his leg and moved slowly up to this thigh before squeezing.

“I’m not hungry…for food” Bill was thankful he was at a red light because the speed at which his head whipped around would have surely caused him to crash. He swallowed trying to coat his suddenly parched throat.

“Where would you like to go?” he still wasn’t sure he understood what she wanted.

“I’ve never seen your place” she looked over at him with hooded eyes. He’d never hit the gas as fast as he did once the light turned green. They rode the short distance to his home in companionable silence. Once he’d parked in his driveway he opened the door for Hillary and they entered the house. For her part she was surprised at his place.

“Did you have someone decorate?”

“Guilty as charged” she looked around at the expansive foyer, the fine furnishings before looking back at him.

“A woman?” perhaps a girlfriend is what she wanted to ask.

“The best woman for the job, Genevieve Durant” she couldn’t keep the surprise off her face.

“I thought she no longer personally designed” at least that’s what had been relayed to Hillary.

“We go back, way back to my days at Oxford when she was over studying from France. If you like I can arrange something for you” she shook her head no, even though she absolutely wanted him to arrange something. “Would you like a tour?” Hillary turned away from the painting she’d been admiring and smirked at him before sauntering closer.

“Yes, of your bedroom” she whispered against his lips. All his control lost he snatched her closer to his body and devoured her mouth. Hillary felt like he was sucking the life out of her and she didn’t have one complaint. He finally pulled away from her and grabbed her hand before turning around and leading her up to his bedroom.

The master bedroom was large with floor to ceiling windows. There was a separate sitting area with a large high back chair and ottoman. She wasn’t surprised to see the full bookshelves, and the stacks of books on the end table. Her attention was pulled to the large king size bed, that was certainly the focal point of the room. He gently grabbed her hand again and led her over to the bed.

“What about the windows?” he silently reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a remote. The windows tinted before their eyes.

“Is that better?”

“Much” she said as she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, but he had other ideas.

“Lay back” it was said softly but forcefully. She hesitated momentarily before laying back against the fluffy pillows. Bill grabbed her foot and removed her shoes. His hand slid up her pants leg and pulled down her knee highs until they were off both legs. His hands continued to smooth up and down her legs. He leaned slightly forward and unfastened her pants. He grabbed the sides and yanked them down her legs. The heady scent of her arousal was obvious, and his cock hardened further. As much as he wanted to pull her panties to the side and pound into her wet depths he had to control himself. He trailed his fingers back down her leg until he reached her feet. He grabbed her foot and brought it to his mouth, kissing each arch before kissing up her legs. Bill placed a hot kiss against her center, slightly sucking in the moist fabric. His member aching with need. Her essence filled his mouth and he wanted more but had to stay focused. He pushed his hands underneath her blouse and across the smooth planes of her stomach before coming to rest on top of her satin covered breasts. His large hands cupped her, pressing his palms against the protruding nipples. Hillary pushed herself against his hands aching for more contact.

Bill’s head lowered until he was able to slide his lips against her in a searing kiss of tangled tongues and desperate moans. She grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck and held him tightly to her. He finally tore his mouth away and worked on removing her shirt and then her bra.

She now lay before him in just her underwear. Hillary reached up and began to undress him, leaving him only in his underwear. She could make out the thick outline of his hard cock, and the wet spot on the front of his briefs made her center pulse with want. Her hand cupped him through his underwear, the hard heat seeped through the cotton into her palms. He removed her hand and gently pushed her back.

Bill stared at her momentarily, looking her up and down appreciating the beauty before him. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and slowly pulled them down until they were free from her body. Bill brought the soaked satin to his nose and inhaled her addictive scent. Hillary spread her thighs, her fingers trailed down her body until she was at her center pulling her glistening pink lips apart.

“I need that cock of yours inside me” her thumb rubbed against her hard clit and she bit her bottom lip. Bill grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from her body, bringing the coated fingers to his mouth as he sucked them clean one by one. Her blue eyes dilated at the erotic pleasure. Bill pushed himself down until he was laying flat on his stomach. His mouth at the juncture between her thighs.

He kissed and nipped the inside of her thighs before licking the expanse of her slit. The sensation causing her to suck in a deep breath. His fingers gently parted her lips as his tongue laved at her clit. Hillary felt like she was on fire, strangled moans poured from her, as her hips rose off the bed in need of more contact.

Bill slipped two fingers into her hot tunnel and she immediately clamped down.

He screwed his fingers slowly in and out when the fluttering grew stronger he retreated. Moving his mouth from her clit and sucking in her inner lips. Once the fluttering stopped Bill licked the underside of her engorged bud and curled a finger inside of her until he was pressing against her g-spot. Wetness flowed over his fingers and accumulated at her entrance. Her hips pushed off the bed. Hillary rubbed her nipples in a frantic search for release.

He once again felt her nearing her end and he backed off. She groaned, frustrated.

“Bill, I need to cum don’t tease” he didn’t respond only began to nibble at her clit while keeping firm pressure on her spot. She thought this was it, that she was going to die. There was no way she could survive anymore of this. Her thighs shook with need, her heart thudded in her chest. He brought her close to the edge and backed off before letting her reach her release. She growled becoming impatient with his game.

“Do you want me to beg?” she stated sharply, gaining his attention. He sat up and leaned over her, coming close to her ear.

“Yes” she took in a sharp intake of breath and was barely recovered from his response when he took her clit between his lips and sucked the tingling bundle of nerves, while licking it with his hot tongue.

“Please let me cum!” she didn’t care if he wanted her to beg, she’d beg. This time he didn’t back off. He plunged three long fingers into her depths screwing them in and out in rhythm with his sucking. A quick inhalation was followed by a loud squeal of his name as she came. The orgasm so intense if she weren’t drowning in euphoria she’d have been terrified at how her body constricted and her heart raced.

 Hillary wasn’t sure where she was when her eyes opened until a concerned Bill hovering over her came into her line of sight. He was holding a cool towel to her head with one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Here drink this” she had to admit her mouth was dry. She took the glass from him and gulped down the water. Her hair was sweat soaked and stuck to the side of her face, and although she couldn’t imagine what she looked like, she knew she felt damn good. He stared at her biting his lower lip and a shiver ran down her spine. The look in his eyes was nothing short of primal. Bill silently took the glass from her hand and placed it and the towel on the nightstand. He sat against his headboard and before she could question him he grabbed her firmly and pulled her until she was straddling his lap.

Body and soul is achin'
I'm out of control

Chapter Text

His still covered hardness poked into her sensitive pussy. Hillary leaned forward and kissed him, moving down the side of his face to his neck, licking hot wet trails across his collarbone.

His hands went to her ass and held her tightly against him as he softly ground against her.

“Don’t you want to get out of those briefs?” she wiggled against him. Bill lifted her slightly from his lap and pushed his briefs down. His thick manhood sprung free and Hillary licked her lips at the sight. Her mouth watered at the thought of having him in it. He grabbed her hips back to him. Her essence coating his cock and driving him nearly to release. Bill reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom.

Again, he lifted her slightly and rolled it down his length before taking himself in hand and guiding her down onto him. Her walls screamed in delicious torture as he stretched her open. The rumble of a satisfied groan escaped him as he sat fully sheathed in her heat. Hillary placed her hands on his shoulders for leverage and began to move against him, but he had other ideas.


Bill’s large hands grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled her tightly to him. He looked into her eyes and Hillary immediately felt uneasy, she felt scared. Bill smoothed her now partially dry hair back and leaned in slowly sucking her bottom lip between his. Her heart thudded in her chest. She tried once again to move, but he held her tightly.

“Just relax” he said softly.

“I don’t want to relax, I want you to fuck me” he closed his eyes and smiled softly.

“I don’t want to fuck you, I want to make love to you” her heart dropped. He noticed the sudden panic in her eyes. Bill smoothed her back and brought her against him. He began to move slowly inside of her. She threw her head back and moaned.

Bill leaned forward and licked the entire column of her neck, his fingers tangled into her hair. His other hand found rest at the small of her back as he used his strong thighs to push up into her slowly but steadily.

The steady ripples of pleasure being elicited caused shivers to run through her. Her hard nipples scraped against his chest. He stared intently into her eyes. Hillary wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. It was like he was staring into her soul. Bill’s hands moved to the side of her face and held her head between his large strong hands before pulling her forward. His tongue slipped into her mouth and rubbed against hers. She tightened around him the vibration of his escaping groan spurred her on and she clamped him again.

“You don’t play fair do you?” she just smiled before licking the side of his face. Bill moved away from the headboard and grabbed her legs so that she had them wrapped around his back. His hands went back to her hips as he pushed slowly into her. Hillary closed her eyes and tried to focus on the little tingles that were tiptoeing through her body. She felt like she was chasing a butterfly. Her eyes opened when he leaned in and tenderly kissed her neck. His hand smoothing down her back and rubbing in small circles.

He pulled her tightly to him and turned over until she was on her back, never leaving the confines of her slick depths. He coaxed her to keep her legs wrapped around his back as he stretched out, slipping deeper into her.

“Oh fuck Bill you feel so damn good” he stayed on his tip toes as he languidly stroked inside of her. His eyes never leaving hers. She tried to look away to shut him out of her head. He wasn’t just fucking her body, he was fucking her mind.

“Open your eyes” he whispered. Her pussy involuntarily clenched around him a deep moan erupted from both of them. Bill placed his hands over her breast, his fingers rolled her hard nipple. She bit her bottom lip and her fingertips dug into his back. His movements began to slow down. Her eyes flew open as she pushed up against him.

“Don’t stop” she whined.

“Keep your eyes open” his movements picked up again. Her eyes fluttered closed but at the change in his pace she opened her eyes again. His icy stare bore into her sapphire one.

“I’m close so close I need to cum” Bill suddenly stopped his movements and sat up. She unwrapped her legs from him as he slipped from her body. Her legs fell open her glistening pink on display, causing his manhood to throb. Bill reached for her and she took his hands as he pulled her away from the mattress. He turned her around until her back was against his chest. Bill grabbed her waist and guided her down, Hillary reached underneath and took hold of him placing him at her entrance. She slid onto his hardness, completely enveloping his length in her hot depths. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as he came up on his knees thrusting up into her. Her head rolled back, laying on his shoulder.

Hillary wasn’t sure what she’d gotten herself into but for now all she could think about was how fucking good he felt. He was thick and long, stretching her out and filling her in all the right way. She was going to be sore in the morning she was sure, but the type of soreness that made you smirk to yourself every time you thought about how you got that way.

“Fuck” she breathed out at one particularly long thrust up into her, his tip grazing her cervix causing a mixture of deep pleasure and pain. The room filled with the sounds of labored breathing and Bill’s turgid manhood sliding in and out of her wetness.

His balls tightened nearly painfully, yearning for release. Hillary’s thighs burned with need, their mutual fluids leaked from her and onto the bed. Bill grabbed her tightly, there was not a centimeter between them, their skin melded together. His hands dropped to her thighs as he began to piston his hips rapidly sliding in and out of her. She clenched and unclenched him with every thrust.

“Yes Bill, fuck my pussy with that big cock, make me cum” he started to thrust harder.

“Is that what you want?” he asked as he began to move faster.

“Yes” she hissed out. His tip grazed her g-spot and her head fell forward, her walls tightly constricted around his dick.

“Shit you tight” he grunted loudly. “I can’t hold on much longer I’m about to cum.”

“Yes Bill I want to feel your hot cum inside of me. That was all he could take. He pushed her forward until she was on her knees. He frantically moved inside of her, the hot tightness at her entrance began to develop her entire being. It was too much Hillary’s head dropped to the bed as the euphoric sensation spread through all her nerves, and all she could do was sob his name.

She was only faintly aware of the heat that began to spread through her as he pushed into her and filled the condom with his seed. They both collapsed against the bed spent.

God knows I'm tryin' to keep you out of my head
I ain't tryin' to love no one
I ain't tryin' to get hurt again, no

Hillary lay on her side her back to him. The silence enveloped the room. She stared into the darkness everything that happened between them crashing down on her. What she felt for him caused her to be paralyzed with fear. Hillary wasn’t sure how long she’d been laying their unmoving staring into the dark, when he put his arms around her and kissed the side of her neck.

“You ok?” her eyes closed tightly she wasn’t ok, but she couldn’t tell him that.

“Mmmhmm” was her strangled response. He snuggled her closer to him. She didn’t want him to be sweet to her, she wanted him to use her body and she was going to use his and let that be the end of it, but Bill had other ideas. She jumped when his hand started to rub her stomach in circles moving up her body until he was cupping her breast.

“Bill I’m tired” she felt him nod against her, but he continued to move his palms against her nipples, ripples of pleasure went straight to her pussy. Hillary pressed her legs tightly together. He rolled her nipples between his thumbs and pointer fingers. She bit her bottom lip her eyes darting in confusion at the pleasure he was emanating from her just by touching her breast. His manhood began to become renewed and poked her in the back.

He opened his right hand and pushed his palm against her nipple as his left continued to roll the hard peak. A strong current of pleasure hit her, and she sobbed.

“Stop thinking, just feel” feel was exactly what she didn’t want, but feel is what she did. There was no other way. He continued to manipulate her nipples. Her hair stood on end and she got goose pimples as the pleasure rushed through her. Hillary couldn’t believe what was happening to her. She clamped her legs tighter trying to stop the inevitable, but he knew how to touch her, he played her like he played his sax. His fingers moved smoothly and confidently over her nipples. Hillary’s stomach clenched, she inhaled, and her mouth fell open. The orgasm rushed through her, she couldn’t make a sound. She had never felt anything like this, the pleasure crashed over her wave after wave. She sagged back against the pillow. The tears threatened to spill forth. He tried to wrap her up again in his arms, but she pushed at his arms.

“Hilly you ok baby?” she wasn’t ok.

“Let me go” she was finally able to get out. He released her and sat up in bed trying to comfort her. She shrugged him off. Hillary grabbed the comforter from the bed and wrapped herself in it she began to gather her clothes quickly before fleeing into the bathroom.

When she came out of the bathroom fully dressed he was sitting on the side of the bed, sheet thrown over his lap. She couldn’t look at him.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I’m not a fool and you won’t take advantage of me” Hillary paced refusing to look him in the eye.

“Hillary, I don’t understand what did I do wrong?” she stopped and briefly looked at him the love he felt for her was on full display.

“I just can’t be here” she said before walking quickly out of his bedroom. Bill didn’t follow her, he figured she needed time. Hillary remembered he’d brought her here once she left the bedroom, but she didn’t let that stop her. She grabbed her bag and left his house as she ordered an Uber on her phone. The tears were streaming by the time she reached the end of his driveway. She was in love that much she knew and that wasn’t the scariest part. He was in love with her and it was undeniable to her after tonight and that was terrifying.


But there's something that just gets in my skin
And all I know is I can't let go
And that's the way it is

Chapter Text

1 Month Later

He was certain that he’d hear from her. Maybe not the next day but the day after that, but it was two weeks later when he’d tried to see her at her office and found out quickly that he’d been barred from visiting that he gave up. His heart was shattered, and he had to admit he’d never felt such rejection. Bill didn’t even understand what he’d done wrong. After the initial shock and pain of her rejection he put it all behind him. He had to go on, he’d been warned that she was cold hearted, but Bill refused to believe it, but now there was nothing else he could believe about her. Not after the way she’d treated him.


She was miserable. She hadn’t been this miserable when her marriage ended. She had truly fucked up with him and making it so that he couldn’t visit was low even she had to admit that. She’d expected an angry phone call from him the day she’d been told he did try to come to her office, but all communication stopped.

Hillary wasn’t sure what she thought was going to happen. Maybe he would show up at her house and they’d argue and… She stopped that train of thought, this was what she wanted, and she got it.


Bill worked the room. He’d pulled himself together and gotten back to work. He didn’t just lobby for money this was important to him. He believed in the work being done by the organization.

She should have known he’d be here. And now she found herself hiding of sorts from him. Although she didn’t want to talk to him or for him to know she was there, Hillary couldn’t stop looking at him. She tracked him with her eyes, struggling to pay attention to conversations she was in. Surges of jealousy overcame her when she saw him talking to a woman and paid too much attention to her for Hillary’s liking.

Hillary longed for the days before she fucked everything up. When they’d be at the same event, never speaking but stealing glances at each other from across the room. He’d make funny faces when no one was looking that made her struggle to hide her giggles. Afterwards they’d find a little hole in the wall and have great food and even better conversation. He wasn’t just a man she was somewhat romantically involved with, he was her friend. Now he was nothing and she was at fault.

Bill felt someone staring at him. He’d felt it a few times throughout the night. This time he slowly turned around and nearly stumbled when he saw her across the room. He hadn’t expected her to be here, yet there she was. A lump appeared in his throat and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He looked away from her quickly, she was the last person he wanted to see, especially after the way she’d just discarded him.

Hillary went through a myriad of emotions when they locked eyes, fear, anxiousness, hopefulness, and then finally dejection when he looked away and never turned back. Her throat felt tight and thick. She struggled to swallow down her emotions.

I'm missin you like crazy

He was in a sour mood after seeing her and worse, yet it annoyed him that she was looking at him. Bill decided to leave the event. He’d pretty much accomplished what he’d set out to do anyway.

 She dropped her head in sorrow when she saw him leaving, knowing immediately it was because of her. Hillary worried about him not loving her anymore, but now he seemed he didn’t even like her. She stayed a little longer and then decided to leave as well.

 Bill sat in his bedroom, he’d lit a fire and grabbed one of his favorite books, Mediations. He let the wise words of the second century emperor wash over him. He needed to calm down. Bill didn’t like to be upset, from his troubled childhood he’d found it difficult to keep his temper in check, but as he grew older he’d employed various ways to do just that. Seeing her tonight had upset that balance and now he was fighting to get back in check. He wanted to just say it was agitation, but it was certainly more.

 She was unaware of when she’d made the decision to do this, but here she was. As afraid of loving him as she was, she was more afraid of him not loving her. Hillary rang the bell for a third time. She tapped her foot nervously, what if he didn’t let her in?

 He heard the bell ringing and he knew who it was. Bill sat still trying to read and ignore it, maybe she’d leave soon. He wasn’t entirely sure what she could possibly want from him.  Hillary for her part was not going to leave. It wasn’t lost on her that she was being a hypocrite, but after seeing him tonight she wanted to fight for him. And she’d sleep outside his door if need be. She was about to ring the bell again when the door opened. He stood before her in his pajama’s his greying hair no longer perfectly style and he wore his reading glasses, in other words he was still the sexiest man she’d ever seen.

 “Why are you at my home?” his harsh tone threw cold water on her wayward lustful thoughts. Hillary sputtered, unsure of herself.

“I…I really need to talk to you” he shifted and leaned against the door frame, still having not invited her in.

 “I think whatever needed to be said was said when you decided to put me on the do not let enter list at your office” he looked at her pointedly. She dropped her head in embarrassment.

 “I’m sorry about that Bill” he pushed away from the frame.

 “If that was all I’d like to get back to what I was doing good night Hillary” he turned and began to close the door, but she pushed her hand against it stopping his motion. He swung back around stunned at her nerve as she slid through the small opening and stood in the foyer. Bill began to lose the thin filament of control he had on his temper. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Get out of my house Hillary!” she jumped at the booming request.

 Hillary only shook her head in defiance. “Listen to me Bill, please” she pleaded. He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief.

 “You have some nerve coming here after what you did, after how you treated me like trash.”

 “I’m so sorry I can’t say it enough how sorry I am Bill, but please let me explain” he was angry with her that much was true, but he didn’t want to hurt her like she’d hurt him. This wasn’t about revenge.

 “Fine Hillary” he led her into the living room. Hillary took a seat on the sofa and looked up at him expectantly. Bill blew out a frustrated breath as he sat in one of the arm chairs.

 “My divorce was unexpected. One day I came home and there were movers taking my things out of the house. I’d opened myself to him and been my most vulnerable and he used that against me Bill. I vowed that I wasn’t going to let anyone else get close to me. That I was never going to fall in love again. That worked for awhile until you came along” she smiled sadly at him. “I really tried not to fall for you, but I’m sure you are well aware that is not an easy task. I wanted it to be just casual, something I could just walk away from and you could walk away from as well, but we got in too deep and I was scared” she stopped talking momentarily waiting to see if he had anything to say. As the silence extended between them Hillary started to wonder if she could salvage this.

 “You never even gave me a chance Hillary. I shared things with you that I never told another soul. I talked to you about how I felt abandoned by my mother and the guilt I felt for never wanting to live with her when she came back. And what did you do?” it suddenly dawned on Hillary that she wasn’t the only one affected by her choices and she felt like a piece of shit. She covered her mouth and sobbed, her eyes wide. Bill for his part remained stoic. Several bits of silence passed before either of them spoke again. “I was ok with you needing time but when I came to visit you and I couldn’t. I can’t even explain how badly that hurt” he paused and blew out a breath before continuing. “Hillary why are you here?” he asked again this time the anger had dissipated leaving a broken man in it’s wake.

In all her thoughts of her own fear and pain, she never once thought of how her rejection would hurt him. Hillary had always been a compassionate person, caring about other’s but she had to admit the divorce put a fortress around her heart. Now she was always on the lookout, thinking someone was out to get her. Even though he’d spilled his innermost thoughts and feelings to her, and she had no doubt he was telling the truth. She still had a mistrust that brought them to where they were today.

“I want to fix this Bill, that’s why I’m here. I’m sorry I was selfishly thinking of my own feelings, not thinking of what my actions would do to you. I’d convinced myself that you were using me. I love you, I’m in love with you and I’m so scared” he sat quietly staring at her. She wasn’t sure what she thought would happen with that declaration, but silence was not it. “Don’t you have anything to say?”

 “Oh, was that supposed to make me feel good? You just told me you’re in love with me as an excuse for why you rejected me?” Hillary’s body sagged this was going to be harder than she thought. “I’m in love with you Hillary, which is why this entire thing hurts me so badly.”

 “What can I do to make this better?” he shook his head not sure she could.

 “What is it that you want?”

 “You” the simple statement made his heart leap, but his stubbornness wasn’t going to let her off that easy.

“You had me” he stated looking at her as if to challenge.

“And I let fear ruin that and I’m not going to lie and say I’m not still afraid. I’m terrified shitless right now, but I’m more terrified of letting you go. I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I don’t want to keep going on without you in my life. I don’t want to keep going on like you don’t mean the world to me. I can’t keep pretending that these feelings aren’t there.”

 “I love you and I want you God knows I do, but I need time. I can’t turn my emotions on and off like that. What happens down the road when you decide this is too much for you and maybe you don’t love me as much as you thought you did. I’m sorry Hillary I am” her world crashed around her she’d convinced herself that they’d work through this, but her fears had pushed him away, possibly for good. Hillary silently nodded before standing and beginning to walk away when she turned back.

 “I’m not going to give up. I’m going to prove to you that you are the love of my life and I am the love of yours. That we should be together” she went to where he still sat, bending and kissing his lips softly before straightening back up. “Good night Bill” he didn’t say anything as she turned and walked out of his house, but if Hillary had her way not out of his life.

Body and soul is achin'
I'm out of control
Missing you so