Chapter 1: The Western Pact
There's 104 days of summer vacation
And school comes along just to end it
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
As with the homes of most teenagers, that theme wasn’t an uncommon occurrence in the 1A dorms.
Phineas and Ferb, a show beloved by all, was not a normal person’s first thought to be the cause of what may lead to trouble. But, class 1A was not normal.
Finding a good way to spend it, indeed.
Ashido Mina was bored.
And anyone who has met Ashido would know, a bored Ashido is a dangerous Ashido. Very dangerous. In fact, when Kirishima stumbled upon her sprawled out body, eyes staring vacantly at the wall opposite to the couch, he had half a mind to haul ass out of the situation before something irreversible happened.
But, Ashido was his friend, and it’s not manly to leave friends by themselves.
“Uh, hey Ashido? Are you feeling alright?”
“Nooooo!!!!!” She wailed, unceremoniously flopping her arm across her chest. “We never do anything!” She turned to look at Kirishima. “Todoroki, Midoriya, and Bakubro get to do all the fun stuff!”
“They almost died at least four times.”
“ Exactly ! They fought Stain!”
“Would’ve died if it wasn’t for Endeavor.”
“Doesn’t matter, it's the principle!”
“How is that principle-”
“They rescued Bakubro!”
“I was on that mission too.”
“ Shush , you don’t get to speak.” Ashido’s pink face looked increasingly distressed. “What about me ?” She got up and started pacing in front of Kirishima. “ I never do anything!”
“Well, you do plenty of manly things Ashido!”
“What did I say?” She wheeled around to stare at him. “ Shush , I’m having a me moment!” Ashido gestured to the screen. “I mean, look at them !”
“Yes the TV!”
“Ashido, I don’t think Phineas and Ferb are really good comparisons….”
The pink girl perked up. “That’s it!”
Ashido looked positively giddy, and practically pranced over to Kirishima. “ Yes , that’s it! If I can stumble upon interesting things to do-”
“I wouldn’t call almost dying interesting, Ashido.”
“-then I’ll do something myself.”
Kirishima looked at her incredulously. “Ashido, you’re scaring me.”
“And you’re helping me!”
“I’m what?! ”
“Kirishima, I know what we’re gonna do today!”
“Okay so let me get this straight.”
Ashido giddily looked on at Kirishima. “I want you to help me.”
“Help you act as Phineas and Ferb!”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it like that. ”
“ Why ?”
“Because!” Ashido looked slightly at a loss for words. “Because I want to do something!” Ashido looked at Kirishima, her eyes pleading. “Kirishima, be my Ferb.”
“I talk more than Ferb though.”
“That's not the point!”
Kirishima laughed. “Yeah, I’ll be your Ferb.”
Shinsou liked to think himself a reasonable guy. He understood the rules of popularity, and despite him, Kaminari, and Todoroki’s……..nightly activities, he knew that he, a General Studies student, was not in the same social standing as the 1A powerhouse and Kaminari. (Who Shinsou totally was not checking out, the rest of 1C really needed to stop butting in )
But, surprisingly, it’s not Kaminari’s (perfect) face that had Shinsou staring at 1A. (This time, at least)
Monoma, the angry blonde of 1B stormed up to the redhead and pink girl in 1A.
The pink girl turned to face him, cheeks full and mid-bite. “Hmmmm?”
“Do not think you’re getting away with this!
The red headed boy turned to look at Monoma. “Get away with what?”
The angry blonde seemed to inflate like a balloon. “Playing dumb, are we? I’m not going to let your classes idiotic antics reflect badly on the rest of the hero course! I heard you in your common room and-”
“Wait, wait wait, hold up.” Their conversation was interrupted by the tape boy. “You were in our common room?”
“That isn’t important, what's important right now is how their stupid antics are going to discredit the hard work 1B has put in as a respectable class!”
“No, I really think that the most concerning thing here is that you were in our common room.” The girl with the headphone jacks for earlobes said. “That’s really creepy.”
“Are you stalking us?”
“That's very unheroic of you, Monoma.”
“Wonder what your sensei would say.”
“That's it!” Monoma yelled. “KENDOU!”
The orange haired girl from class B looked over exasperated. She sighed, got up and walked over to Monoma. “Yes, Monoma?”
“Class 1A is plotting to disgrace the hero course with their stupid games and antics!”
Kendou just sighed. “Ashido, is your class planning on ‘disgracing the hero course with your stupid games and antics’ ?
“Not today, no.”
“Great.” Kendo clapped her hands together. “Sorry about Monoma, tell Yaoyorozu that the bubble tea she recommended was delicious and I love it, and I’ll see you with Shiozaki tomorrow for girls night. Bye Ashido.”
“See you then Kendou!” The pink girl was waving, and before Shinsou knew it Kaminari was out of his seat and walking towards him.
“He’s coming over here!” Said the girl Shinsou was sitting next to.
“Shinsou and Kaminari, sittin in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-NG!” the boy across from him was cackling with his seat neighbor.
“More like F-U-C-K-I-N-G!” Another burst of laughter.
“Alright, that's enough!” Shinsou felt his cheeks warm, the traitors.
“What? Don’t want to hear your deepest desires!’
“I said , that that was-”
“Hello? What are we all laughing about?”
Ah. Kaminari was standing in front of him.
Kaminari Denki was standing in front of him .
Fuck, how much had he heard? Not much, because he was asking about the laughter. Or maybe he had heard all of it and was just ignoring it and now hated Shinsou because oh fuck he would’ve heard about the cruch and Shinsou’s life would be ruined and he would just yeet himself off the nearest building and-
Breathe, Shinsou needed to breathe.
And respond, because it’s now been an uncomfortable amount of time to have not responded yet and Kaminari is staring at him and ah, fuck he’s made it weird.
Respond. He needed to respond.
“Nothing, we were talking about nothing!” He looked towards his evil, traitorous classmates and growled, “ Right guys?”
“Yep! Nothing, absolutely nothing!”
“What? Whats talking?”
“I stuck a Cheeto up my nose.” Not helping . Shinsou has to get Kaminari’s attention before his stupid classmates make him look worse .
“What are you doing over here? You’re usually……...over there.” Perfectly executed, smooth like ice.
He shot a glare at the girl next to him who had a hand clamped over her mouth to stifle her giggles.
Kaminari seemed to blink out of his reprieve, a smile lighting up his face in a way that should be illegal , beautiful, glittering eyes that shine brighter than the American’s Hollywood sign. Unadulterated joy that Shinsou felt like he was staring at the sun, warmth cascading over him and Oh God Shinsou his it bad.
“Psst.” the girl next to him nudged his arm. “Hey lover boy.” She whispered.
“What?” Shinsou hissed.
“Stop drooling at your boy toy, he’s talking.” And the girl was right, Kaminari’s hands were moving around in animated conversation, lively and amazing just like Kaminari and-
And Shinsou really needed to get this crush under control, because at this rate, Kaminari is going to think he’s some sort of zombie that zoned out whenever the blonde opened his mouth.
Shinsou was not going to think of the certain connotation Kaminari and his mouth could have. Nope.
(Shinsou has imagined his lips on Kaminari, literal sparks flying and the blondes just so soft and tender and nothing that Shinsou has ever experienced. He thinks it would be nice.)
“-a new theory.” Oh right, Shinsou’s problem was that he needed to pay attention the the blonde. “Do you still have the spy cam on?”
“Don’t call it a spy cam, that's so tacky.”
“Is not! Do you still have it on?”
Shinsou sighed, “yeah.”
“Did it get Monoma storming over?” Shinsou nodded. “Great, we have evidence! We need to meet up with Todoroki after classes and start to prove-”
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. What is it exactly that we’re proving.”
Kaminari’s beautiful smile had a slightly malicious tint that wasn’t there before. Shinsou wasn’t going to like this answer at all, was he? “That Monoma and Bakugou are related, of course!”
And with that, the electric blonde walked back to his classmates. Shinsou’s mouth was hanging open.
“Hey! Close your mouth unless you want us to stick something in it!”
“I bet he wants Kaminari to stick his di-”
Shinsou tackled the girl next to him.
It’s been a long lunch period.
Despite their continued deninal of their ‘stupid games and antics’ , Ashido and Kirishima were planning something.
“I declare this the beginning of The Phineas and Ferb Pact!” Ashido practically yelled, her hand raised in a fist even though she was only talking to Kirishima in a mostly empty common room. “Jirou, do you want to join The Phineas and Ferb Pact?”
“Nah.” the girl in question was walking around the outskirts of the common room, inspecting the wall and feeling the carpet. “Besides, me and Sero are trying to Monoma Proof the common room.”
“Ah, good plan. Good plan. Now!” Ashido clapped her hands together like a cheerleader. “We have our first pact!”
“Uh,” interjected Kirishima, his eyebrow’s furrowed. “What do you mean, pact ?”
“Remember Phineas and Ferb?”
“Of course! That show is so manly, I’m trying to use it to help with english too!”
“Remember how they did something absolutly fucking insane everyday and were never bored!”
“Yeah, that’s kind of the plot.”
“So that's what we’re doing! A Pact is something that we have to do all day, so I can finally do something because all of our classmates get to do all the fun stuff!”
“You mean fun as in almost dying.”
“ Yes! ” Ashido dramatically flopped across the automin. “I never almost die, so now I have to do this instead.”
“Right, okay.” Kirishima wiped his palms on his uniform pants. “What’s the pact? Is it something we gotta prepare for? Because lunch is about to end Ashido.”
“Right! Yeah! Today, we are going to do The Western Pact!”
“The, Western Pact?”
“Yeah! I found these old American movies called ‘Westerns’ all they talk really funny and I wanted to try it!”
Kirishima sighed. “Let's do it!” And the two left to head for class.
Jirou looked intensely at the vent. “If I superglued it to the wall he couldn’t push it out of the way to sneak into the common room……….”
During lunch, another important meeting was occurring.
They were sitting outside, Shinsou and Kaminari on the picnic table benches waiting for Todoroki. Said boy in question camp walking back to them, albeit with pinkness smattering over his face.
“I’m sorry it took so long, I needed to retrieve something from my dorm.”
Kaminari looked at him suspiciously. “Ashido and Kirishima are in the common room, they would’ve texted me is they had seen someone walk though.”
“That would be because I didn’t go through the common room.”
“You have to go through the common room to reach the dorms though?” Interjected Shinsou, questioning where Todoroki is going with this.
“Not necessarily. I climbed to my dorm room.”
Kaminari looked bewildered. “You, climbed ?”
“Climbed? Like on the outside of a building, climbed?” asked Shinsou, vaguely regretting the entirety of his existence.
“Yes, have I not made it clear? You seem to be very disbelieving.”
“Well, yeah! ” Sputtered Kaminari. “You climbed the side of a building , dude!”
“You’re on the fifth floor !”
“Yes, that is correct. I am unsure how this pertains to your disbelief.”
Shinsou looked at Kaminari. “I'm not sure if I should be awed or scared.”
Kamainari patted his pack, (and Shinsou totally didn’t freak out because Kaminari was touching his back ) “It’s easier on everyone if you’re just both.”
“Well, from my dorm I have retrieved my Theory Notebook.”
Todoroki nodded. “I took the idea from Midoriya, he’s always scribbling about heroes in his notebook though. This is where I keep my theories and the evidence.” Todoroki took the small notebook and started flipping through the pages. “Ah, here . Todays theory.” In large bold lettering at the top of the page wrote BAKUGOU x MONOMA, RELATED??????????? Underneath of it, had some scrawled writing, a few doodles, and taped in was a picture of a Pomerian with a caption underneath it.
“Todoroki, why is there a Pomerain here?”
“Oh yes, as you know this is their other relative, the two boys are secretly Pomerains.” Todoroki pointed to the writing underneath the photo. “Here , Nipping, growling, barking, and/or biting can often be traced to improper hierarchy and/or simply not being taught to not behave this way. Remind you of anyone?”
Shinsou leaned over to Kaminari. “I honest to God can’t tell if he’s bullshitting us or being serious.”
Kaminari just leaned over towards Shinsou, and Oh my God Kaminari smells so nice and heavenly. “Do you still have the spy cam recording.”
“Good, this is going in the next episode.”
Lunch was finished, Hell was about to rise onto poor Aizawa.
Nothing seemed amiss with class 1A, but then again, it usually doesn’t.
Aizawa was going over the famous battles of past number ones, when he sighed and stopped talking.
“Kirishima!” The redhead’s head whipped around from his whispered conversation with Ashido, both of their eyes wide. “What happened after Nana Shimura neutralized the final atomic bomb during the Mackentime attacks?”
Kirishima looked nervous, an uncommon emotion on the normally confident boy’s face. Ashido was giggling, and leaned over her desk to whisper something in his ear. The boy gulped.
“This year, Kirishima!”
“Ahh, right suh. Yes suh.” Something was wrong with his….. voice . “The vile villain, Mack an time, tried to haul his ass out like a cow right before it’s shish-ka-bobbed. But Shimura ain’t having none of it, and lassoohed the villain straigh to the prop er authorities. Mack an time had yee’d his last ha, if I am correct, suh.”
Why- why was Kirishima talking like he was from of those American Western films.
What did he do to some higher power to deserve this?
His reaction, however, had nothing on the rest of the classes.
“Dude, why are you talking like that?”
“What the FUCK Shitty Hair! Why the hell would you do that? You sound like such a fucking idiot!”
Kirishima just let out a deep laugh. “Well, if I sound down right hootin, y’all should hear my cattling partner, Ash-id-oh.”
The pink girl let out a high pitched squeal. “Well, how do y’all fine gentlemen do?”
That's it. Aizawa is going back to his sleeping bag
After that disaster of a class, Kaminari snuck to the back of the classroom.
To the desk of one Todoroki Shouto.
“Did you get that with the spy cam?” The blonde asked, tapping his fingers against one another in excitement.
“The newfound evidence for the Bakugou theory?” Kaminari nodded. “Then yes. I did.”
After school, Monoma grabbed Kendou by her hand, and yanked her over to where class 1A was.
“See!” He panted. “Look what they’ve done! Look! Look!” His hand was wildy gesturing at Kirishima and Ashido.
“What am I supposed to be looking at?” Kendou asked.
“You!” Monoma pointed a finger at Ashido. “Speak!”
“Oh, now I see it.” Said Kendou. “Ashido, what happened to your face?”
Instead of Ashido responding, Kaminari did. The electric boy shook his head in sympathy. “Bakugou got a really good hit in for combat training.” Everyone was solemnly shaking their heads. “No one could’ve blocked it.”
“Yeah, so could’ve Uraraka.”
“Kirishima could’ve, definitely!”
“Don’t sell yourself short Midoriya. You could’ve too!”
“Well,” The blonde flushed. “ I couldn’t have blocked it!”
Kendou just nodded in sympathy. “Ooh, yeah. Beasts on the battlefield, am I right?” She looked down at Monoma, who was currently having an aneurysm. “Well, I should get back to the dorms. Ladies, see you at girls night.” And she drug Monoma away, as he was clawing and screeching at the air.
“Dude.” Kaminari leaned over to Todoroki. “You getting this?”
Chapter 2: The Superstar Pact
There's and accident in the dorms and the only answer is High School Musical
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
There are certain things in life Kaminari does not appreciate.
Snakes, old ladies complaining about their grandchildren, and being forcibly woken up. (Yes yes, Kaminari was usually was already awake because of insomnia, but it’s the principle).
So, Kaminari was notably not happy when at four AM, there was a harsh thumping on his door.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
Kaminari almost wanted to yell, “can it Thumper!” And go back to laying in his bed pondering the existence of life.
But he didn’t.
That would be mean.
So Kaminari slowly pulled himself off his bed, and opened his door.
And promptly collided with a falling Todoroki.
This is very unusual because of three things.
One, Todoroki does not thump on doors. He knocks, hides, and when Kaminari opens the door, reappears like Batman ascending from the heavens. It almost gives Kaminari a heart attack every time he’s done it. (Which, admittedly, was only about three. Kaminari was at Midoriya level friendship with the pretty boy yet).
Two, instead of Todoroki’s normal strong, silent, heart attack inducing persona, the teenager was laughing . Not just laughing, giggling. Todoroki Shouto was fucking giggling. Todoroki Shouto never fucking laughs, at most you could get a nearly unnoticeable arched eyebrow and slightly upturned lips. Giggling? God has fallen and Hell has frozen.
And three, Todoroki Shouto does not fall . Falling is for the common man and not for icy angels. Falling is a practice fit for mortals that would be scoffed at by the Gods. And Todoroki? Todoroki is most definitely a God. Instead, Todoroki gracefully leaps like a cat. The laws of gravity have not effect on Todoroki Shouto.
Thumping, laughing, and falling? Something is very wrong.
Kaminari’s betting on body swapping aliens.
Then Todoroki opened his mouth.
“Stacy’s-Stacy’s Mom has got it….it goin on. Heh, S-Stacy’s Mom has got it-got it…..remember Kamin-heh-Kaminari?” Oh, Todoroki was talking to him now,Oh God. “You-you and Shin-Shin-Shin- Shinsou were pl-playing it. But what does Stacy’s Mo-Mom have g-going on? A party.” He giggled again. “Parties are l-loud and……” He paused to catch his breath. “I dunno how I feel about parties, but Uraraka-Uraraka likes them.” Todoroki made a face. “That’s a fun name, Ur-ar-raka. Uuuuuuu-ar-raka. U-aaaaaaar-.....” He fell into another giggle fit.
That’s it, Kaminari is taking him to Aizawa.
Okay, so Kaminari meant to take him to Aizawa. Promise. That was definitely the plan here.
Kaminari didn’t take him to Aizawa.
The electric boy learned something about Todoroki, and that is, despite how agile and nimble the elemental was on the battlefield, Todoroki was a heavy dude.
It made sense, from what Kaminari sort of remembered from Junior High biology it was that muscle was dense . And Todoroki? Todoroki was pure muscle. (All rippling back muscles, bulging thighs and heavy biceps. Kaminari wasn’ t interested in the dual Quirk user but damn if Todoroki’s ripped-ness wasn’t enough to send him spiraling into a mini bisexual panic).
And now, Kaminari is a decently well built guy himself, but just staring at Todoroki’s deltoids makes him want to fall over in exhaustion and then slowly die because of muscle cramps.
All in all, Todoroki was not moving.
And it would've been fine, if Todoroki wasn’t acting a little bit…. off.
“Y’u wanna know wh’t’s weird ?” The normally stoic boy asked, while heavily leaning on a slowly collapsing Kaminari. “Tradition. It’s literally jus’ peer pressure fr’m dead p’pple”
Kaminari just kept trying to get Todoroki through the door and not break his back while doing it.
Todoroki staggered on Kaminari. “And….And isn’t peer pr’sure bad?” Todoroki let out a half-hiccup, yawn hybrid and sagged on Kaminari even more.
Kaminari’s legs were looking at early retirement.
“Midor-Midoriya says peer pr’sures bad . Sitting on chairs is jus’ peer pr’sure from really old p’ple.” Kaminari does know what’s wrong with Todoroki and at this point he just hoped it’s not contagious.
“You know what Todoroki? I think maybe I’ll just bring Aizawa to us, how does that sound?” All he got in response was a half hiccup, from the half’n’half boy.
Life’s small comedies.
Either way, Kaminari managed to maneuver himself so he wasn’t holding onto Todoroki anymore, and as soon as he let go of the other teen, he flopped on the ground like a fish exposed to the cruelty of life above the ocean.
He’ll be fine .
Kaminari now had a mission, spy cam clipped and hidden on his shirt, and he was going to die. Possibly.
He was going to wake the sleeping giant that was Aizawa, and no one takes away that poor mans limited sleep.
Eh, death is better than whatever the hell is wrong with Todoroki.
Kaminari is going to enter the American lottery after this, because he is one lucky bastard.
Or bitch. One lucky non-gender-conforming cuss word.
Aizawa was not asleep so Kaminari’s young fragile life was not in danger. In fact, the Pro was already up and at ‘em, and in what looked like a very stressful and/or frustrating conversation with Vlad King.
“Oh God.” Aizawa just put his head in his hands. “Was it the problem children? I swear to God I should just expel this entire school.”
Vlad King raised an eyebrow, “You really can’t expel me or my students because-“
“Watch me,” Aizawa snarled. “What did Midoriya do?”
“Uhh, Midoriya didn’t do anything.”
“Great.” Aizawa sighed. “What did Bakugou do? Is he facing murder charges.”
Vlad King chuckled. “If he is, then Midnight wins the bet.”
“Fuck that. If Bakugou is, I’ll cover up the murder myself. I would never live losing down.”
“Wait, What? No !?” Kaminari cried. “You have a a bet about Bakugou committing murder ?!”
“Kid, we have a bet for everything. ”
Aizawa sighed. “Then why are you here at this ungodly hour, Kaminari?”
Oh right, he came here for a reason. “It’s Todoroki!”
“Great,” Aizawa sighed. “Problem Childs Friend. What happened?”
“Uh, that’s the thing. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know ?!” He pinched his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “How do you not know ?”
“ I don’t know ! He just kind of stumbled to my door and he was talking about dead people and peer pressure! He couldn’t even talk right!”
“Oh.” Kaminari was starting to worry that Aizawa would actually die from stress. “ Oh. ”
“So it got into the 1A dorms.”
“You go deal with it Aizawa, I’ll tell Nedzu.”
“Bye.” And Aizawa walked out. Kaminari followed.
“Wait, so what’s happening?” The teen had to elongate his strides to keep up with the teacher.
“You’ll find out soon enough if I’m right. Where’s Todoroki.”
“Ermmm…..” Kaminari blushes. “Probably still in my doorway.”
“In. Your. Doorway !?” Aizawa whipped his head so fast Kaminari thought the man had whiplash. “ Why did you leave him in your doorway?!”
“Well I tried to pick him up but he’s like made of muscle!”
“Kaminari, you are in the Hero Course .”
Kaminari snorted a little. “ Yeah , And Todoroki is build like a boulder. Let’s go get him.”
Aizawa just sighed, as Kaminari confidently walked out of the room.
Kaminari thinks it’s the boldest thing he’s ever done.
For better or worse, Todoroki was still collapsed in Kaminari’s doorway. And still talking, to the very enthusiastic audience of the wall.
“If….if I push’d someo’e off a buildin’, and….And they die on im-imp-impa.... the ground , then wouldn’t gravity h’ve killed him?” Todoroki looked intently at the wall. “Righ’, right. We….we need a test s’bject. Who?” Todoroki nodded. “Tha’sss….tha’sss a great pl’n. Let’s-let’s do it .”
“Uhh, Todoroki? I’m back with Aizawa-Sensei.”
“Oh, hi.” The teen on the ground turned towards them. “I’mma-I’mma push my dad off a roof.”
Aizawa sighed. “Unfortunately, my suspicions were correct.” The teacher spoke to Kaminari. “I am going to wake up the rest of the dorm, I’ll send Kirishima down to get Todoroki. Just…..just stay with him.”
And Aizawa left. Walked away leaving Kaminari with a possibility homicidal Todoroki.
It was maybe four thirty in the morning when nineteen exhausted teenagers and Todoroki were pulled downstairs to ten common area. There was groaning, read eyes, and grumbling. An orchestra of clinking coffee cups and yawning.
Aizawa stood front and center, Exhaustion radiating off of him.
“Classes are cancelled today.”
And Hell broke loose.
“Cancelled? Classes are cancelled ?”
“That’s what he just said, dipshit.”
“Cancelled classes?! This will negatively impact our learning for the future! I must demand an answer!”
“Bro! Classes are cancelled! This is gonna be sick.”
“QUIET!” Aizawa sighed. “One of the kids from 1C has a quirk called Toxin. They lost control of their quirk and release a gas that have the same effects of hard alcohol. The Hero Course is shut down for today so we can fumigate the vents. And yes, they are already sealed off. Any questions?”
“Uh, yes Aizawa-Sensei.” Yaoyorozu looked over at Todoroki, who promptly threw up. “What’s wrong with Todoroki?”
“Yeah. That.” Aizawa rubbed his nose. “Todoroki was infected by the gas before we knew it was in the 1A dorms too. He is under the effects of someone who probably has alcohol poisoning, so he’ll be throwing up. That wouldn’t be a problem if he actually had alcohol in his stomach, but he doesn’t so I need you to get him to eat something.”
“Right, because if he has an empty stomach he’s just going to be throwing up bile. Yeah.”
“Yaoyorozu is correct. And get him to drink something, alcohol dehydrates people.” Aizawa looked at them all sternly. “If he passes out, call me. You have this day off, use it wisely . The gas is in the vents, and I hope I didn’t need to tell you this but don’t got in them, got it?”
“Got it!” Chorused back the class.
“Great, don’t die.”
And Aizawa walked out of the dorms.
Unfortunately, but unsurprisingly, this was not the first time Monoma had been in class A’s ventilation system. Nor the second, nor the third.
He’s not stalking them, or being creepy. It’s surveillance, waiting for them to crash and burn. And it was justified. Something was going on with the damn 1A kids, and Monoma is not going to let their utter stupidity make him looked bad. Just because big bad 1A had no dignity didn’t mean 1B doesn’t.
So here he was, crawling around in vents.
Monoma was making solid progress too. He had only been in there for maybe forty minutes and already had great blackmail material on Endeavors son, and was soon able to start observing the other rooms.
Today was perfect, cancelled classes (even though he wasn’t one hundred percent sure why ), idiotic 1A students, and evidence to show Kendou.
Today was going to be great.
“You know, I’m glad we decided to seal all of the vents, not just Todoroki’s.”
Aizawa sighed. “Why?”
“Stop sighing Shouta! You sound like the world is going to end.”
“Fuck off Hizashi.”
The blond just laughed. “Well apparently, the gas cloud likes to move around, so it could be anywhere in the vents by now!”
Aizawa rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Thank God there’s nobody idiotic enough to go in there.”
“You can say that again.”
Meanwhile, back at the 1B dorm.
“Hey, has anyone seen Monoma?”
“Eh, he’s probably fine.”
Ashido was tired. Dead ass tired.
But she knew herself well enough that she wasn’t going to go back to sleep. Which sucked , because she was dead ass tired.
Her day actually starts with the night before, where she decided to binge all the High School Musical movies in a row. That didn’t end until maybe twelve thirty. That wasn’t that bad, because she was expecting to have woken up later.
Then, at three fifty-five in the fucking morning, she was woken up by a loud clanging in the vents. It seemed kind of big for the gas cloud, but what else could be in the vents?
Then, a four thirty she was dragged downstairs. Ashido was not going back to sleep. So she had one other option.
It was time for the pact.
She walked over to Kirishima, trying to formulate a pact on the way.
Roller Skate Pact?
Wear My Sweatshirt As Pants Pact?
By the time she got to where Kirishima and Sero were standing, she had no clue what today’s pact was.
“Hi! You looked exhausted.”
She sighed miserably. “I am. I was up till twelve thirty watching High School Musical and-“
“Isn’t that the one where they all break out into song randomly?”
“Sero, that is literally what a musical is.”
Sero just shrugged. “It’s a weird concept. Like, imagine just randomly breaking into song? That’s kinda strange.”
Strange, or genius.
“Kirishima!” Ashido shouted.
“I know what we’re gonna do today!”
The immediate effects of the pact weren’t apparent for a few hours.
In fact, none of their classmates had seen hide nor hair of Kirishima and Ashido after their conversation with Sero. So it made sense that Sero was the victim of their scheme.
The teen was just in the kitchen making a sandwich, and a very plain sandwich to be that. There was bread, there was cheese, and there was the ever controversial condiment of mayo. (Class 1A would know, one of the few real arguments that Todoroki and Midoriya had were if mayonnaise was a suitable topping. Midoriya said no, due to a traumatic commercial from his childhood about an ant eating mayo. Todoroki, however, just ate mayo about of the jar with a spoon.)
But what was important was the sandwich.
Kirishima and Ashido struck.
They walked into the kitchen, normally. It was their stint in acting.
“Oh, hey guys! Everybodies been wondering where you went after-”
“Okay, can I say something crazy!” Ashido shouted.
“I love crazy!” Kirishima responded.
“All my life has been a series of doors in my face! Then suddenly I bump into youuuuuuu!” Ashido sang, staring at Kirishima.
“I was thinking the same thing! Because like, I've been searching my whole life, to find my own place. And maybe it's the party talking, or the chocolate fondue……..”
‘“BUT WITH YOU!”
“BUT WITH YOU!”
Sero came across a very startling realization about just what they were singing.
“I found my own place!” Kirishima sang.
“I see your face!”
They sang together: “ And it's nothing like I've ever known before! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Love is an open door!”
“With you!” Ashido sang.
And back to the duet. “Love is an open door.”
Sero shrank back with his sandwich. “No, guys, stop. Please stop!”
“I mean it's crazy!” Kirishima started
“We finish each other-”
“Sandwiches!” Ashido yelled.
“Hey, that's what I was gonna say!” Kirishima sang.
“I’ve never met someone-”
“Who thinks so much like me!” They sang together. “Jinx! JINX AGAIN!”
Sero was pale. “Hey, guys. This song mentions sandwiches like once . It’s really not the best you could go with.”
He was ignored.
They were still belting together. “Our mental synchronization! Can have but one explanation!”
“Meant to BEEEEEE!”
“Say goodbyeeeeeeeee!” Ashido sang.
“To the pains of the past! We don’t have to feel it, ANYMORE!” They belted. “Love is an open door!”
“Love is an open-” They started together
“Door!” Ashido sang.
“DooOOOOOOOOOOOR!” Shouted Kirishima.
“Life can be so much more!” Their voices intertwined, building a cacophony of burst eardrums and crying eyes.
“Love is an open door”
“Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?”
“Can I say something even crazier?” Ashido dramatically turned towards Kirishima. “Yes!”
Sero blinked at them. “Thanks guys, I think I need to go bleach my ears. Never do that again.”
And Sero walked out.
Monoma has what he needs. He pulled out his phone as the idiots were belting that song from Frozen.
“Siri,” he whispered. “FaceTime Kendou.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t find any restaurants in the area with that name.”
“No, Siri. FaceTime Kendou .”
“Are you satisfied with your help?”
“Fuck off Siri.”
“I don’t have an opinion on that.”
“Damn it!” Monoma cursed. He just pulled up FaceTime himself.
Kenou picked up on the first ring.
“Where are you?!” She hissed.
“I’m in the 1A vents, listen-”
“The vents ?! Why are you in the vents!?”
“I’ve got evidence of 1A acting like idiots! Here-”
“Get out of the vents!”
“Why would I do that, if you would just listen -”
“The vents are why classes were cancelled for today?”
Monoma stopped in his tracks. “W-what?”
Kendou just sighed. “Yeah! One of the 1C students has a Toxin quirk and they released a gas into the vents that makes you act drunk! It’s in the 1A vents and its moving!”
Monoma paled. “Then I’m just going to climb out-”
“You can’t!” Kendou cried. “They sealed off the vents at like four this morning! How long have you been in there?”
“Since three fifty-five.”
“Damn it Monoma."
“Hey its not like-”
“Hey, Monoma?” Kendou asked quietly. “It’s right behind you .”
“The cloud! It is literally right behind you!”
“It’s okay, I’ll just-” And then, Monoma was surrounded by orange. It was everywhere, it got into his eyes, his mouth, his nose. The world was orange.
“Monoma? Monoma ?!”
Monoma’s only response was throwing up.
“I’ll go get Vlad-Sensei.”
Look at this, and update? G A S P
I'm sorry for you ShinKami lovers, Shinsou wasn't in here today but maybe next chapter for some gay that I Actually Didn't Mean To Add But I Did.
And hey, guess what? I finally worked out ships. I guess I've got a rare pair in here so..........yay? I guess.
Fun Fact: Your fav author Spice learned that today she could sleep through not one, but TWO earthquakes. This is not knowledge that I want.
Bros, I am planning on a fic thats like a 5 to 1 on the older pros taking care of Hawks, so......look out for that.
also this probably knowledge that isn't strictly required but it's making me excited to I'm going to share. One of my top five favorite authors, IidaRei98 is updating today (bc Friday) on this amazing fic called Not In The Job Description and I took heavy inspiration for this fic from that so you should go check it out. I think shes on the inspired page for Hero Course: Celeberties.
ALSO! I have the inspired fic called Rock'n'Roll Buckaroo on The Hero Detective because I took partial inspiration on the Channel from them. Check it out!
I hope you guys liked the chapter and I can't wait to post again!
Chapter 3: The Lemonade Pact
Lemons. Too many lemons.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Amajiki Tamaki was unsure about almost everything he did in life. Generally, his days were long filled with irrational fears and unreasonable overthinking.
I want to go buy more food, because I’m hungry and I need it for my Quirk. One would think it’s a simple action right? Simple action with the simple answer of buying some food.
No. Whatever made you think that was wrong and sorely incorrect because basic human interaction is in no way that simple. In Amajiki’s opinion at least. Other people are entitled to their own opinions about etiquette because him forcing his beliefs on others is terribly impolite and he can’t be impolite because he wants to be a hero which means he has to be a good example and oh damn it Amajiki can’t be a hero why did he even try and-
It’s not the first time Amajiki has gotten slightly off topic. Because, unfortunately, his train of thought slipped on an oversized banana peel left on the train tracks and nosedived into an active volcano and the train often explodes because it’s packed full of gunpowder.
Basically, Amajiki had no clue how Kirishima and Ashido from class 1A did the crazy crap they did.
Kendou may not believe Monoma, but Amajiki has seen some of this stuff with his own two eyes. He was scared of the power they held, the power to ignore social laws and the school dress code.
No criminal had ever freak Amajiki out this much.
But it’s okay, because for the past two days he’d been able to avoid it. Only hearing about their antics through the rumors of his gossipy classmates who were slightly obsessed with 1A.
He was walking with one of his classmates, she was babbling on about Endeavors son.
“He’s started hanging out with Kaminari and that purple kid from Gen Ed, I really don’t know what it means or-“
Amajiki stopped, because right in the middle of the hallway sat a stand.
“Lemonades! Lemonades, get your lemonades here!”
At the stand sat Ashido, the pink girl from 1A. And in front of her were yellow fruits.
But they didn’t quite look like lemons. The skin was carved in a rectangular pattern.
It was carved like a grenade. It was a lemonade.
Amajiki can’t handle this. He hightailed out of there, classmate be damned.
Shinsou’s can say that he was rightfully surprised when Todoroki stormed up to him and slammed his hand down on his table in the middle of lunch.
“I have a theory.”
The only good thing that came out of Todoroki saying that was the views, but Shinsou was a child of the Internet and he was aware that Kaminari would get in the most trouble for any stunt they pull.
So, like an idiot, he said: “What is it?”
“Nedzu and Vlad King are the same person.”
Have you ever known someone you thought was smart but can be oh, so dumb ? That’s Todoroki. Well respected, elegant, mysterious gentleman to the general public. But to UA he’s a human disaster who’s had too much Red Bull.
Shinsou gave Todoroki A Look. “They’ve been in the same room before.”
Shinsou rubbed his nose. He has no idea how Aizawa handled both Todoroki and Bakugou at the same time. “Why do you think they would do something like this?”
Todoroki shifted slightly. “That isn’t one-hundred percent figured out, but from what I got so far it has something to do with a stripper, and ice cream truck, and a Scandivinavian titling company.”
Dumbass. Todoroki is a dumbass.
“Okay, I’ll help.”
Dumbass. Shinsou is a dumbass.
Thank God he’s got the spy cam though, this will make for one hell of an episode.
Monoma likes to think of himself as elegant, beautiful, powerful. Because he is, of course. He is perhaps the most eligible student in the hero course, and that is a fact.
So it deeply pains him to see his classmates act like idiots. He would never act like that, never in a million years. A hero course student must be respectable, and class 1A is most definitely not. It’s confirmed every single day.
Today’s ridiculous antics had Ashido and Kirishima sitting in the middle of the hallway, holding lemons and shouting at each other.
“YOU’RE JUST MAD THAT MY LEMONADES ARE SELLING BETTER THAN YOUR ORANGE BOMBS!”
“WHAT?!” Kirishima shouted. “I AM NOT!”
Dumbasses. Kirishima and Ashido are dumbasses.
Kendou was definitely going to see this.
“Kendou!” Monoma called elegantly because he was elegant and pristine.
Kendou turned around, and started walking down the noisy hallway when she was stopped by that Todoroki figure from 1A. Endeavors son, thinking he’s better than the rest of us with hs fake eloquence and perfect manners.
Kendou raised her hand indicating for him to wait a minute.
The bell rang. Kirishima and Ashido packed up.
Damn you Todoroki, and whatever you thought was important enough to let the hero course’s reputation to be continually kicked in the mud.
“Kendou.” Todoroki was walking next to her, and Kendou turned her head from where Monoma was yelling for her.
“I was wondering if you’ve noticed any strange behavior with Vlad King.”
“No, not that I know of. DO you want me to keep an eye out though?”
“Yes, thank you Kendou. That would be greatly appreciated.”
The bell rang, and Todoroki smiled and continued down the hallway.
She never got to talk to Monoma, but whatever he wanted to talk about couldn’t have been that important.
Ashido prided herself on being very keen about certain things.
She knew when the bread would get moldy, she knew Bakugou’s favorite band, she knew that Shinsou and Kaminari were hopeless, pining bastards that would never get together without help.
She knew the school needed citrus.
You heard correctly, citrus. Oranges, lemons, other types of citrus. Ashido didn’t know that many types.
She heard the stuffy-ish voices from the other classes, the way they rubbed their noses or they way they avoided talking.
Sickness was spreading, and the only cure was citrus.
She would sell them citrus, like the hero she was training to be.
The only problem? They were heroes in training. They would never buy just one citrus. They needed violence, aesthetic, texture.
Ashido took a junior wood carving class when she was twelve. There were knives in the kitchen.
“KIRISHIMA!” The red headed boy looked up from his protein shake. “I know what we’re gonna do today.”
Ashido walked into his class with an armful of carved lemons.
Aizawa was about ready to fall over, he can’t deal with this.
Lemons. Ashido had lemons . Aizawa was going insane from children if lemons are bringing him to hysterics.
Aizawa sat down in his chair. He doesn’t have the willpower to deal.
The pact was generally boring. Not going to lie, the lack of shenanigans left Ashido with more energy than expected.
So when someone knocked on her door, she answered it with considerable enthusiasm.
“Can I come in?” Jirou looked paler than normal, and Ashido thought for a moment that she needed more citrus.
She needed all the citrus.
But, she resisted shoving oranges down her friends throat, as the teen look remarkably distressed.
“Sure. What’s up?” Jirou fidgeted with her fingers before reaching over and closing the door.
“ What ? I didn’t catch that.”
“I like Yaomomo.”
Ashido just sat in shock. She missed this obvious crush . It was so obvious! The lingering glances, the pink cheeks.
How did she miss this?
“You know, I’ll-I’ll just go. This was a bad idea. Bye Ashido.” Jirou started to walk
It didn’t matter. Jirou had already left the room.
Okay what’s up guys?! What is that I smell, Drama? Le gasp.
Sorry I haven’t been able to update, I was a counselor in training at a summer camp. One of the weeks I was there, it was Japanese week and May I fucking tell you they were the nicest most polite people I have ever met.
I gave out hand sanitizer and they all said thank you. When I gave the American kids hand sanitizer they said why.
That might be because the Japanese kids were 14-15 and the Americans were like 12 but still fuckers, they are amazing and I love them.
So keep a look out for chapter four, in still trying to figure out ships, writers block is a bitch but she’s MY bitch, and I’m starting high school in like???? Three weeks?????
I’m scared fam. Social anxiety is a bitch, I’m gonna be like Amajiki for freshman excerpt shorter and more obnoxious with my early Congress facts.
Also fun fact America is apparently at risk for a recession because of like apparently and I’m like really? We just got out of one fuckers I don’t want to deal with this shit.
So I have decided to run for President and then realized I cannot due to age restrictions.
This AN is too long I’ll see you next time folks.