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Mario Kart Love Song

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You be my Princess and I'll be your Toad

The easiest way to find you is to follow Alphys. 

He doesn't know why, or how, but every time they make it to the surface she is always the first to run into you, no matter how the world has changed or what the timeline has become.

Undyne believes it's because you're both nerds, but sometimes Sans can't help but wonder if the two of you aren't platonic soulmates.

"Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 is a crime against the anime and should be rebooted!" A passionate voice argues in the distance ahead, and Sans watches Alphys's eyes widen in surprise as her feet unintentionally pick up the pace.

Although, maybe it's just because the two of you have the same bad taste in anime.

The 'introduction' goes like this-

You're in a loud argument with a man wearing a Kissy Cutie shirt. He seems unimpressed, while you are red faced and fuming.

"It killed all the development that Mew Mew went rhough in the first season and made her nakama nothing but shallow problems for her to get around like obstacles in a PE course!" You yell and Alphys bounces next to him. Sans doesn't look at her, his eyes are on you and the furious glint in your eye as the man across from you pushes his glasses up on his face and sneers.

"That is what you casual fans would think, but in reality the tension between Mew Mew and her friends is rising because of her powers-"

"Except Mew Mew would never hurt her friends by kissing their significant others!" Alphys cannot help herself anymore and bursts ito the conversation, "In chapter 13 of the manga, and episode two of the anime (first season of course) Yip Yip asked Mew Mew if she would control her boyfriend for a day so that Yip Yip could assist Nay Nay with a problem, but Mew Mew said she refuses to hurt others by using her powers on the ones they love!"

"Exactly!" You shoot Alphys a blinding grin, "Season two destroys the core tenants of the character herself!"

"Whatever," The guy rolls his eyes and walks away shooting a dirty look at you and Alphys.

"Thank you!" You gush, cheeks still flushed, "It's, I know it's silly to get to worked up over, but I've always love Mew Mew so much-"

"Me too!" Alphys agrees eagerly, "A-and my girlfriend and I are the only ones who seem to dislike Season two."

"Oh no, I agree, it's the worst," You agreed instantly, "I'm _____."

"A-alphys, and this is, uhm, S-"

"sans the skeleton," He winks at you, "nice to meet such a passionate person."

You stare at him for a second longer than is polite, seemingly frozen. Sans waits for the initial reaction to disappear, for your eyes to return to a normal size, for you to stop worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. This mental reboot always happened.

"Oh, uhm," You are blinking rapidly, and Sans takes that as a sign that you're back from wherever you go, "It is. Nice to meet you, I mean." You hesitate, shifting from one foot to another, then come to a conclusion.

"This is weird, considering we only just met because you backed me up in an, admittedly, nerdy argument... but I've got three spare con tickets, cause I got ditched, do you two want two of them? Maybe we could, uh, hang out?"

"i'd like that," He glances at Alphys, but she barely pauses to nod before she begins interrogating you on your other favorite kinds of anime, and everything she can get from you about your mutual interest in Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. The two of you start walking, engaged entirely in each other, but Sans doesn't mind.

Alphys is your best friend, but you and he have been in love for hundreds of years by this point.

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I'll follow behind you on Rainbow Road
Protect you from red shells wherever you go
I promise

"Wait, wait, hold on. This is my favorite part!" You are barely holding your laughter in and Sans can't stop a snicker of his own as more and more characters took on a manly persona on the screen.

"I. Love. This." Undyne's voice is nearly painful in it's intensity behind them, "Alphy, watch me, I'm gonna try it."

"don't look." Sans snatches your shoulder before you can turn, "if i know anything about undyne, it's safer that you don't."

"But-" You push just a tiny bit, trying to look over your shoulder, "I bet it's really funny."

"i'll save you from temptation," Sans assured you, pulling you down and cuddling your head to his breastbone, "hush feel the warmth of my breasts."

You gave him a flat look, "Sans, you don't have beasts."

Sans raises a browbone and, with a flick of gravity magic, his shirt rises to fall over two mounds on his chest.

"You're shitting me," You said, eyes wide, "There's no way that's real,"

"it's not," Sans snickers, "but you thought it was for a moment."


Sans does not tense up when Frisks sprints into the house at full speed, slamming into Papyrus and hugging him.

He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, hedoesn'thedoesn'thedoesn't-

(He does)

"hey kiddo," He says anyway, "have you met _____?"

Frisk freezes for a moment, before turning guileless eyes on the both of you.

Hi! So nice to meet you!

Your eyes are locked Frisk's hands as they sign, frowning deeply as you reached for memories of a class you had taken in High School.

Nice... to... meet... you... too... You sign awkwardly. Frisks beams at your attempt, fully aware you will become better with time. They seem to hesitate for a moment, cutting their eyes towards Sans, then made a hesitant motion with their hands, bringing them up, pinching together in front of their face, and bringing them down and across their nose hopefully. *

"no sign yet," Sans admits unhappily.

"I don't remember that one," You admitted.

"kid was just asking about a friend of ours," Sans assures you, "he's... going to be by soon and we want to be prepared."

"I love your friends," You assured him, reaching forward to ruffle Frisk's hair, "I haven't met a bad one yet."

Frisk doesn't meet either of your eyes while they grin sheepishly, then immediately turns around and goes running after Papyrus again.


"Hey." The tone is much flatter than Sans is used to and his hackles rise, even though he doesn't open his eyes.

"I thought you were asleep," You murmur, still runnning your hands in little circles over Sans's back.

"Yeah, not likely," Undyne snorts, "I was in the Royal Guard for a few years, Captain of it for longer, it's hard for me to sleep..." Around new people.

"I understand," You admit after a moment, "Not completely but... well, I understand a little."

"Hm," Undyne's voice is uncharacteristically soft, "You, uh, made friends with Alphys and Sans pretty fast."

You snort this time, "No kidding, normally I... well, I'm not sure you'll believe me now, but I'm normally really quiet. It's hard to make friends, for me at least... but you guys are so easy to talk to."

"Maybe you were a monster all along and didn't know it," Undyne suggests and the teasing in her tone al most makes his forgive her for the late night interrogation of the person he loved, "Can't help but notice how close you are to our buddy Sans, though."

Sans takes it back, he forgives Undyne completely, because he is never sure how to approach you on his own.

(Guilt maybe? He knows so much, and while he doesn't quite go looking for you following Alphys on trips around the surface, it seems the same to him. It's not fair for him to decide.)

"... Can you keep a secret?"

"Hell yeah nerd! Well, not from Alphys, but uh trust me when I say she can one hundred percent keep a secret, like number one secret keeper. In a good way."

You chuckle softly, then say nothing. Your hand doesn't stop rubbing his back, so Sans is content not to interfere yet.

"I don't believe in love at first sight, not for humans," You say after a minute, "I don't know how monsters work, but I believe that falling in love should happen when you know someone, not when you see them but..."

"But?" Undyne prompts.

"I feel like I already know him, somehow, better than myself."

Sans grins to himself.

None of you see the shadows flickering with interest.